#please also keep in mind that I am an American! My answer to this ask AND my interpretation of these characters is through that lense | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sgiandubh · 6 months

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Lights, camera, shit show

I was just cleaning my OL folders (all those Chinese paintings and scrolls do take a horrendous amount of space, heh) and I just stumbled upon something I completely forgot to share and discuss with you. I found this particular article during my solitaire lurking months and I remember being befuddled by it for a long time, then thought I've lost it for good.

I don't remember ever seeing it shared or discussed in here, either and if, by any slim chance, I am wrong, kindly forgive me. That professional website is now closed, but its content is still available to browse:

Anyway, there goes: https://www.studiodaily.com/2018/06/outlander-dp-stephen-mcnutt-asc-csc-saucy-scottish-show/

We discussed Terry Dresbach and her inebriated rants, Vanessa Woman's devastating impact on set as Intimacy Coordinator, RDM's jealousy and many other aspects of life on the OL set. Rumors likely to have originated there peppered our shipping trail like flickering lights in a sea of darkness. So yes, we dissected these things to death. But not Stephen McNutt's interview to Studio Daily, on June 22, 2018 - please keep in mind the date, it is essential!

Stephen McNutt is a well-established professional and a member of the American Society of Cinematographers (ASC) and the Canadian Society of Cinematographers (CSC), as he hails from British Columbia. He also has a consistent track record of previous work with RDM, both on Battlestar Galactica and Caprica (its prequel). Therefore, one has to immediately suppose he was handpicked and brought on set by the same RDM, of course: set a very low bar on your expectations, I am warning you.

By the grace of RDM, he was one of the main Directors of Photography for OL during Seasons Two and Three. IMDb is not the best source for corroborating things, because they credit him with 13 episodes in Season Two (including La Dame Blanche- he is the Blue Room guy!), but only one for Season Three (First Wife), which is completely wrong. I even had to check some opening credits on Netflix (at reduced speed, ugh), because he speaks at length of A. Malcolm, something that would have made little sense otherwise. He was there, of course: and his is a first-hand account, heavily loaded with both innuendo and TPTB bullshit, up to the point of complete incoherence.

We focus on the three final questions:

This is a study in bullshitology, right here. The question asked is very clear and very technical: how did you approach those famous love scenes?

The answer is a mumble jumble of retcon, deflections, slips and overall impossible scramble for a logical explanation. I am doing a line by line, because this is almost too good to be true:

'(...) But as far as Cat and Sammy making love (...)' : um, hello and excuse me, I thought the question was about Jamie and Claire?!? And then we are delusional and can't fucking separate, when your own henchman, the Director of Photography no less, seems to be totally unable to do so, too? Hello? Also: 'Sammy'? 'Sammy'? What. The. Total. Fuck, and I LOLed then and I am still LOLing now. Terms of endearment overheard on set - but no, here comes the 'friendship' shite, hitting the narrative fan with Mach 5 speed. Objective? Explaining in a plausible way the hugging and 'keeping warm'. And I am sorry, but this begs the question: what the hell did this man see on that set? And how many people did see the same, hence the need to release such a gratuitous lie, for pure retconning purposes?

'They are not an item at all - I think she just got married'. Oh, fuck my life, man: you are such a terrible, terrible liar! Remember, that interview was taken in June 2018: after the OZ EFH and just about when C. was gleefully answering 'oh, God forbid!' every time she was prompted by press about her marriage plans. How can somebody with a pretty high trophic level and personal rapport to both S and C be totally unaware about C's marital status at the time? How can a long time acquaintance and coworker of RDM say no both to a friend and to a current boss (same person, the worst case scenario) asking for a favor, in that particular context? It also goes to prove that the shit show plot mainlines never originated with S and C and that the Remarkable Week-end was already planned for quite some time. By TPTB. With the full knowledge of RDM.

Let's suppose Mr. McNutt was so deeply engrossed in his work as not to notice all the people who must have congratulated C on set. I mean, I know who our (spinster) colleague from Accounting is currently banging and that guy is (mercifully) not among our staff (I totally wish them well, btw). Maybe because nobody congratulated C on that fakegagement? Also, you know them well enough to confidently say 'they are not an item', but don't know she was not married at the time and state an enormity with the same confidence? What in the name of the hoo-ha did I just read, here?

'I was always in such amazement of that.' In amazement of exactly what, Mr. McNutt? Surely not a woman holding hands or keeping warm with her gay co-star on set, huh? I mean, I need the best American English dictionary, here:

Again: what the heck did this man see? What comments did he hear? Surely, 'amazement' is a very precise choice of wording, with particularly enlightening synonyms:

Hence the need to end the demonstration with a deflection: 'They would just have fun.' You know, there is no such thing as a virgin whore, Mr. McNutt: you either are in such astonishment or you think your pals, good old S and C, such a funny girl, were having, well... 'fun', what else? You can't logically have both in the same paragraph!

And there we go: 'a very collegial atmosphere on set'. The answer is pure fool's gold, if you ask me: 'Nobody goes to sit in a trailer or says they aren’t showing up that day. '

And I laughed. And I laughed. And I laughed. I really don't know what this man is talking about. I never heard McTavish telling S to get out of that trailer ('nephew'). I never read the 'two very loved-up birdies' in a trailer a-rockin' Anons. I never watched that 2015 Anglophile SDCC interview, when S mentioned listening in their shared trailer to Erasure's Oh, l'Amour and C immediately reacted ('oh, did you just admit to that?'). But unlike me, McNutt must have been legally bound by a big cojones Non-Disclosure Agreement and morally bound by loyalty towards RDM, his friend, boss and benefactor.

This. All of the above. This is the real reason for all the bullshit you've just read: explaining a real, shocking love story by socially progressive regulations, allowing the cast to be 'much more happy'. I would laugh some more, if this was not sinister and cruel, in fact.

It is Love. A deep, strong one. But the seeds of the adverse narrative were planted early and deep, forcing even decent people like this guy to lie and smear himself a bit in the process. What we see and hear now are but better worded and more refined consequences of that fateful January 2016 morning in LA. And since I am allowed the dubious luxury only a healthy distance in time allows, let me remind you a simple, fun fact about this interview who stated they were never an item:

About ten months after McNutt uttered these words, the fandom was hit by the Covfefe Pics.

I rest my case.

#shitshow #fandom

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14dayswithyou · 2 years

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MINORS: DO NOT INTERACT ! Welcome to the official "14 Days With You" Tumblr! The FAQ, post masterlist, and general rules can be found below! Also, this is a side blog — meaning all replies and follows will come from @cutiesigh! ^^

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND ! 💖 Put your age in your profile, or you'll be blocked. 💖 Reblogs/replies are appreciated and welcomed!! 💖 Read the F.A.Q to learn the secret phrase for asks.

itch | discord | twitter | main | #14dwy tag

▋MASTERLIST !

💖 14DWY Lore updates & blog post retcons (check reblogs for current versions) 💖 Official character relationship chart 💖 Official character sheets + blank template (outdated) 💖 "Understand my ship in 5 minutes" sheet (outdated) 💖 NSFW Alphabet: Ren | [REDACTED] | Teo 💖 All of the 14DWY fics I've written 💖 All of the 14DWY art I've made 💖 Frequently Asked Questions

▋F.A.Q !

What is Ren's real name? Try and guess it!

Are Ren and [REDACTED] the same person? Yes, they are the same person. "[REDACTED]" is his real self and "Ren" is a persona he created specifically for Angel.

Will we get to see/learn more about [REDACTED]? You'll learn more about [REDACTED] in Day 7, but getting Ren to remain as his real self will all depend on the choices you make in the game.

How old is Ren? Ren is one year younger than you, but at least 18! However if you are 18, then he’d be one month/day/hour younger than you instead.

What is Ren's ___? Ren is non-binary (AMAB + prefers masculine and gender-neutral titles), uses he/they pronouns, born on February 14th, around ~6'5", half Japanese and American, and pan/demisexual.

Does Ren have a Spotify playlist? Yes! Here's a playlist full of songs that make me think of him, and here's a playlist full of songs that I personally think he'd listen to. Please look at my Spotify profile for the rest of the cast.

What are the cast's sexualities? Pronouns? etc. Here are their birthdays, here are their sexualities, and here are their pronouns.

What does the “canon” / “blog canon” / etc. tag mean? Posts tagged with "canon" means it complies with the official 14DWY universe set for the game, "blog canon" means it only applies to the universe set for this blog, "AU canon" means it's set in an entirely separate universe with its own lore, and "non canon" means the post is just for fun and shouldn't be taken seriously.

When will Day ___ come out? Whenever I feel like it. Please understand that I am a full-time university student who also works a part-time job, so it's difficult for me to make time to work on 14DWY.

Where is the best place to find updates? The 14DWY Discord would be the best place to receive game/development updates (as well as interacting with the community), though I do crosspost major updates on Tumblr and Twitter after a week or so.

Will there be a mobile version? No. My main priority is releasing builds for PC/Mac for now.

How many love interests are there? Just Ren. And although you can get a romantic ending with some of the other cast members, they won't have a dedicated "route" like Ren.

Do you have a Patreon / KoFi / Kickstarter / etc? I have a Ko-Fi now (purely for art commissions), but please continue to keep your money! Just knowing that you enjoy 14DWY is more than enough support for me!

Do you have an F.A.Q tag? Yes! Here's a masterlist of other frequently asked questions, and here's the general #FAQ tag for even more questions I get asked on a regular basis. Please check them out before asking something!

Is there anything you won't write about? I don't write about scat/piss, incest, noncon, self harm/suicide, major character death (Angel, Ren, Violet, etc. to avoid spoilers), pedophilia, or anything else of that nature.

Why haven't you answered my question yet? It probably made me uncomfortable, you didn't put your age in your bio, you didn't read this entire post properly, or I've answered it before.

How do I ask a question? To ensure you've read the rules: please include any of the following secret phrases in your message. Otherwise, I won't answer it.

Meowdy Saint! ^^

Say hi to renren for me

The 14DWY brainrot is real... >_<

This angel has another question! \o

I'm here to Redeem my kiss from [14DWY character] for reading the pinned post.

hehe >:3... hehesmirk, even 😼

Once you've selected a phrase, you can submit your question here (or use the ask button above!!) I'll occasionally update these phrases, so make sure to check before you send an ask!

▋TAGLIST !

Use the tags below for easier navigation!

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jamisonwritestf2trash · 8 months

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“I really just need to make an entire breakdown on Medic one of these days 😭” Well, do it. Umm, you coward —I'm so sorry for calling you a coward, Jamison :'(—.

Medic's Past Headcanons (Also Some Archimedes Content!)

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No apology needed my friend, I am but a coward 😭

I lied a little bit, I changed my mind on doing a full breakdown, just changed it to some headcanons about his past and meeting Archimedes </3

But no, I've mainly not posted this because I've had other requests and also this one will probably get heavy. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post content with actual angst and upsetting themes.

But I'm here now because looking past all the jokes and my own personal love for doctors. I should also mention, written by an American and a person with know knowledge of the German education system, and medical practices in general!

ALSO, finally writing Medic with his accent and some actual German, please forgive me if you are a native speaker for using a mix of google translate and my very poor German skills 💖

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ALSO ALSO mutual appreciation comment! Another thank you for letting me talk about Medic <3

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TW: CHILD NEGELECT, SU!C1D@L IDIATIONS, FLUFF AT THE END!

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He's been asked about his mother before, his answer has always been,

"Meine mutter? She vas good woman, she... she did her best." Said with a softer tone than anyone has ever heard him speak in.

He's lying. She severely neglected him as child. After his mother fell pregnant, his father left. His mother resented Medic for this, blaming him for his father leaving, refusing to realize how volatile their relationship had been before he was conceived. When Medic was born his mother refused to bond with him, holding him only when others gave her expecting looks. For the first years of his life his mother only tended to his basic needs to keep him from crying, his crying always annoyed her. It never got better with time, she never learned to love him like people had claimed when she started expressing her contempt for him. She would sometimes give him small bits of attention, then she would get a wicked smile on her face as he cried when she stopped paying attention to him for seemingly no reason. Always making him feel like he was responsible for the sudden lack of attention.

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His younger years in school is also something he will lie about if asked. (I'm ignoring college because uh, I have no idea what to write for that 😭)

"I vas great, top of my classes, Natürlich. Ich war sehr beliebt."

(Of course. I was very popular)

When he was younger, he was top of his classes. He always excelled at whatever class he was put in, his favorites being science, he obviously loved medical textbooks, along with zoology textbooks, always had one of the other, he'd spend lunches just reading from his books, or hiding in the library, trying to learn everything he could about both. In a way you could say he was popular, but not in the good way. He always had his books on hand, always had the best grades, was always the teachers favorite student, and the other kids hated that. He took his fair share of beatings while he was in school.

————————————————————Medic had never thought about dying, sure he watched patients die, and he knew deep down his mother had died at some point, (He never heard from her after he left his home town, despite his attempts to contact her) but he never thought about the concept of him dying. It hit him like a ton of bricks when he had his first panic attack, and it clicked in his head that he just didn't want to be alive. He couldn't tell you why the switch flipped in his head that made him reach that low, but it did, and it was awful. He almost went insane, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't do anything besides sit in his room and feel years of emotions just hit him out of nowhere. He thought he would die, he wanted to die, dying would be preferable to whatever this was. In the midst of his panic attack, something hit his window with a loud thump. (Aren't I so clever for this transition? lmao 😭)

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The day Medic and Archimedes met continues to be one of the best days of his life. A bird had hit his window, pulling him out of whatever spiral he was currently having. Medic just looked at the window for a minute, content to just assume the bird flew off after being dazed a bit. When he heard tiny coos and chirps outside. He pushed it open and saw a little dove huddled in a corner, cooing sadly, shaking as it tried to move its wing but chirping painfully when he moved his wing. Medic put his hand out and tried to scoop up the bird, and the bird ended up attacking his hand. Medic pulled his hand back, a tad shocked, but then tried again. The bird slowly eased up to him once he understood Medic wasn't going to hurt him. Medic took him inside and checked him out. His wing was broken, and it was nothing Medic couldn't fix. He fixed up the birds wing, then decided to get some things to keep the bird comfortable while he recovered. He ended up spoiling him without realizing it. He went to go buy a bird cage and ended up buying the nicest one, the best bird food, and even toys 😭 He came back and set it up all nice for the bird. They bonded pretty quickly after that. However, time passed, and Medic found himself growing attached to the little bird, even naming him, which he knew was a mistake the moment he did so. He knew it was a bad idea, and he did it anyway. After about a month of them living together, Archimedes wing was functional again, Medic enjoyed watching him fly from his cage to the door to great him when he came home from wherever he had gone. But after the third or fourth time, Archimedes greeted him at the door. He knew he was well enough to go back out into the world. That evening, before sunset, Medic opened his window and put Archimedes on the ledge, prompting him to fly off, totally not on the verge of tears, about to experience the worst pain of his life or anything. Archimedes just tilted his head, confused, turned around, and nestled up to Medics arm that he had been propping himself on. Audible sobbing could be heard from his house that night. Medic would later find a way to keep Archimedes to live forever with him, making sure that Archimedes was spoiled to death, and was told each day the value Medic put on their friendship.

"Wir werden für immer zusammen sein, mein Freund, das verspreche ich!"

"Coo"

(It'll be us forever my friend, I promise.)

(I'm counting on it)

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Ough, im a sucker for a happy ending 😭or for some reason, I feel like this is super embarrassing, but I' going to ignore that feeling. Sorry for the angst dump, but it had to be done, and I'm sorry it's not very long! I hope you guys like this! Uh, a mini headcanons, then another Medic post, and then some new headcanons are in the works! There is so much Medic content, but I'm not complaining 💖

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #team fortress headcanons #tf2 hcs #tf2 medic #medic tf2 #tf2 archimedes

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ymmpily · 1 year

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“You won’t betray me too, will you?”

Warnings: Spoilers, mentioning death, major character death, kidnapping, violence, swearing.

Italic means they are speaking in Na’vi.

Word count: 2,584

This work is 35 paragraphs long, if I have spelled anything wrong, used anything in the wrong way please let me know. I did proof read this ten times and had someone else do it about three but you never know. Thank you. | Part one of Betrayal

Miles and me never really got along, but ever since Jake betrayed him he seems to see something in me now. He’s always keeping a close eye on me. I think he thinks I am going to betray him like Jake. Which I won’t, not yet, I have no reason too. I like studying and figuring out how Na’vi people work. One day of course I would love to be one. I envy Jake. While I am sitting here, he is out there enjoying life, being free. Whilst I am in here taking orders from the man that killed my colleague, Grace Augustine.

Grace and I were never really close but we definitely had things in common. We both loved teaching, though I didn't get to do much of it after I left Earth. She had this school here on Pandora. I remember her talking about it with Jake once, I only ever listened and I never engaged. Graces school taught young Na'vi about American education and language.

I never went to Graces school as I thought to fill my mind with other knowledgeable things. She always enjoyed her life while I sat around learning what she already knew. She also wanted to protect the Na'vi people as much as Jake, while I sat around doing nothing to help. Me and her differed in that part. I watched the RDA do so much damage to Pandora's life. I even watched as Neytiri, Jake's new found love, killed Miles Quaritch. I wished he had stayed dead.

The sound of a door slamming is what awoke me from my thoughts. Miles Quaritch, I groaned, rolling my eyes and getting up from the comfort of my chair. I stretched as Quaritch made his way over to my desk, "How is it? You know, being something you hate." I chuckled trying to start up a conversation. If I didn't he would stand over there and stare at me. He was silent from the question I asked, the air in the lab was tense.

If anything Quaritch scared me, the man could kill me for all I cared. Plus, he was now a 9 foot tall savage, as he liked calling it. I sighed and sat back down within the comfort of my chair. I wouldn't let my thoughts consume me whilst Miles was here, he might think that I am trying to think of ways out of this place. So instead I started typing away on my computer logging in the rest of the data I was supposed to log in hours ago, before I got lost in thought.

I was still typing away after an hour when I heard Quaritch clear out his throat shuffling his way over to the front of my desk. He announced, “You won’t betray me like Jake, will ya cupcake?” I looked at him curiously, as you to ask why he would bring up the topic of betrayal “Don’t fret kid, just a question. I want to make sure you are in a good headspace.” I nodded and simply answered with “No, I won’t betray you Quaritch. Now what is it you have to offer?”

The offer was not one I was expecting, we were headed to the old shack where Miles was killed. I was to take samples of the things around, retrieve anything of value. We dropped down from the Scorpion Gunship or ‘Helicopter’ for a simple name. I made sure to stay close to the Recoms. My plan wasn’t to die unless necessary. Quaritch looked around, fascinated almost by Pandora's woodlands. The other Recoms did the same.

“Stay close Spencer, don’t want your blood on our hands.” Zdinarsk smartly said. We also call her Z-Dog, which matches her personality. As we traveled farther into the forest we were met by four Viperwolfs, I watched as Quaritch and the others raised their weapons. Then the Viperwolves ran off, far away from us. “A nantang.”

Pandora's creatures are terrifying, Grace had spoken once about them. I snapped out of my thoughts once I heard Z-Dog speak, “No shit.” I started walking once more, this trip was going to be the death of me. Now the Recoms were on alert. We were close to the shack, we had to be. They made sure to keep their weapons raised, we really did not need to have casualties. Once I came into view with the shack I could see that it was covered with leaves and vines, Pandora’s life was making this beautiful.

I separated from the group once I heard that it was safe, I was to collect as many samples as possible. Miles made his way to his old suit, I felt sad for him. Though I didn’t need to. Miles is a bad person, he will always be. I saw some cool plants that I had yet to have samples of. I made sure to collect as much as possible. I was getting a little far from the Recoms but it was okay. I’d find my way back.

“Spencer, see if you can pull some data off that dashcam.” I heard Quaritch say from the distance, I groaned. Why did he have to interrupt my peacefulness? I made my way back over to the old shack, I saw them all surrounding Miles old suit, arrows pointing out of something. I assumed it was Quaritches decomposing skeleton. I swallowed hard going over and working to retrieve the data that should be left on this thing.

“Thing is deader than shit, Colonel.” Lyle said unsure if we could pull anything off of it. “Will you shut it?” I said quickly back to him, I was trying to concentrate, didn’t help that he was right. Maybe if the thing wasn’t deader than shit then I would be able to pull something from it. Quaritch chuckled lightly, “So were we.”

I shook my head lightly, chuckling. God they may be bad people but at least they have humor. Clicking on buttons, groaning when something didn’t go my way. Lyle kept watching as I worked. It was really pissing me off. “Can you stop breathing down my neck, Wainfleet.” I shook my head again, attitude radiating off of me. “No can do kid, gotta make sure you aren’t messing anything up.” I jumped slightly, I thought it was Lyle behind me, turns out it was Quaritch.

I really wanted to die, in that moment embarrassment consumed me. I continued to work pretending it was only me there and not everyone else. Looking around once I heard commotion, “Stay here. With me.” I knew something had to be up. Quaritch ran off with Lyle in the distance. I could see the other Recoms struggling, yelling. They were angry.

I swallowed hard, looking back at the old suit, continuing to work but I kept my ears open. I was definitely going to eavesdrop. I didn’t dare look over to where the Recoms were, I did not want Quaritch to call me over if he saw me being curious. I did not need to cause trouble today. I heard hissing and people speaking Na’vi quickly, I sighed knowing today was not going to end with me going back to the lab peacefully.

I clicked a few more buttons on the suit, finally I got the data that he wanted. I let out a long breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding. Slowly I got up brushing off the dirt on my trousers. These were my favorite pants, I didn’t want them to get too dirty. When I looked up from the ground Quaritch and the others were coming back over but with children. One was human.

I refused to acknowledge them, looking up at the Colonel. “Sir, I got what you asked for. I couldn’t retrieve much, Lyle was right that thing is deader than shit.” I glanced back at the Na’vi children, they looked familiar. Miles cleared his throat making me look back at him, “Get me some audio on this.” I nodded, pressing a few buttons as the audio echoed around. He looked disgusted.

“It’s Sully’s woman.” my lips formed into a line, this was awkward. Now I realize why those children look so familiar, they’re the Sully’s. Tonight someone was going to die, or maybe everyone. If we have Jake and Neytiri’s kids this won’t be good. This was going to be a rollercoaster that I did not want to ride. I felt my gut twist in knots, god did I feel sick. I did not consent to kidnapping children.

The kids kept struggling in the background, I could still hear the audio. I wanted to go back to my lab. I hated this, Quaritch and everything else. Everything was so loud all of a sudden, I was going to be sick. The sun was going down, it was going to be an eclipse soon. The audio from the tablet was making me sick, soon I heard Quaritch groan loudly, I looked and stared at my feet. I couldn’t listen anymore.

Lyle grabbed the tablet and handed it to me, “There is nothing after that, sir.” I sighed, I felt so sick. Quaritch reached over into his old suit, he then pulled out the human skull, crushing it into pieces. I gagged quietly hoping no one heard.

Now it was dark, big droplets from the sky fell onto my skin, soaking my clothing. Some of the Recoms kept their guns raised while the others kept hold of the children. I kept close to Quaritch like he told me too. “Three minutes.” I let out a breath of relief, finally going home. The forest was so quiet except for the occasional crunch from one of us moving around.

Quaritch told Sean to “Watch our 6”. God whatever that meant, I wanted to leave. I watched as the children looked around, Neytiri must be here. Now I was really starting to feel sick, oh I'm definitely going to die. Soon gunfire rang around echoing throughout the woodlands, I ran for cover seeing Sean had gotten shot with Neytiri’s arrow, straight through his head. I dry heaved, nothing coming up from my stomach.

“Lo’ak!” I heard faintly in between gunfire. It was so loud. I kept hidden behind a big tree, hoping that I would be safe. The rain kept coming down, hard and heavy. It reminded me of Earth. I used to love running and jumping in puddles with my big brother Jayce. Jayce could be so mean one second but then nice the next, me and him had a falling out once I told him I was going to work for the RDA.

God he knew this was a terrible idea, going to a different planet, killing native people, stealing from their land. It was Earth all over again. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I was so scared, I didn’t want to die. The RDA wasn’t finished with making my Avatar, not that I knew of anyway. If I died tonight I was going to stay dead.

Gunfire did not cease, neither did the yelling. I saw as the children ran off. Maybe they would have a chance. I jumped as a noise came close to me, Quaritch. God he pulled down Sean's body, I didn’t want that thing near me. I gagged again this time something came up. I couldn’t puke in my mask, so I swallowed it.

“Kid, I’m gonna need you to run when I tell you too.” I nodded at Mile’s words, everything was so loud still. I wanted to curl up and cry. I was so scared. Jayce was so right. Quaritch looked over at Sean’s body noticing Neytiri’s arrow, he looked terrified. PTSD maybe? I would hope so, something needs to scare that man.

The colonel reloaded his weapon, the sound was crisp. It was quiet all of a sudden, maybe everyone was dead besides me and him. Quaritch spoke with a smirk plastered on his face “Is that you, Mrs. Sully?” it was silent for a moment, I wished it would be forever, my headached. Throbbed even. “I recognize your calling card.” I really wanted to punch him, was he trying to die again?

A few of the Recoms started moving around, I looked to see what he wanted me to do. “Not yet.” I nodded wanting to disobey him and move. I knew he was right though, I needed to stay close, having no weapons on me was not a good thing. “Why don’t you come on out, Mrs. Sully.” Quaritch said calmly but loud, he grabbed his weapon. I knew he was going to shoot at her.

“The two of us have some unfinished business.” he cocked his gun, Jesus he was really risking lives here. Quaritch then looked at me, nodding, I knew the signal I was going to have to start running as fast as my feet could carry. “Demon! I will kill you as many times as I have to.” Neytiri spoke asserting dominance was lacing her voice.

“You and the Corporal have been pretty busy, haven’t you?” I hid behind another tree, this time farther away from Quaritch I knew that if I didn’t want to die I would have to be a little smart. “Got yourself a whole litter of half-breeds.” I looked down, why would he say that. When I see him again I am going to punch that smirk right off his face.

“Na’vi!” someone yelled, gunfire rang once more. This was not a war I wanted to be a part of. I started running, I needed to get out. Words shouted from everywhere, I ran faster and faster. Suddenly a sharp pain ran throughout my body, I looked down. Blood, I was hit. Suddenly I was thrown over someone's shoulder. I cried out in pain.

I heard muffled words, barely making anything out. “Fall back!” I heard someone shout to my right, I was finally going home. Soon all I felt was calm, it felt like I was floating. “Spencer?” I looked around quickly trying to find the source of the voice, my mom. “Mom?” I croaked out, oh how I missed her. Everything she was saying was muffled. I couldn't understand her.

“Mom?” I said again, maybe this time she would talk louder, more understandable. She didn’t, everything was going black. I felt cold. It was finally quiet, so quiet. Memories floated my mind, the time me and Jayce broke mothers favorite cup, she never got mad at us though. The time dad came home from his military training, oh how I loved that day. He was so tired yet still played with me.

Before what felt like forever peace, there was this light. Bright, my head hurt once more. My mother started disappearing, I tried grabbing her. It didn’t work. Soon my eyes opened once more. I groaned out looking around, “It is so bright in here.” I managed to croak out. Then I saw doctors, no scientists surrounding me. I jolted up, how was I alive.

“Calm down, calm down.” I knew that voice anywhere, Miles. He told the scientists to leave, give me space. I finally noticed that I was blue, I was in my Avatar. I laughed “This is real right?” Z-Dog laughed in the corner, “Hell yeah.” I smiled and laughed once more. Finally my plan was set. I knew what I was going to do. Jake might be getting that call.

#avatar #jake sully #miles quaritch #grace augustine #neteyam #lo'ak #spider socorro #avatar the way of water #avatar fanfiction #colonel quaritch x reader #male reader #avatar x reader #avatar spoilers

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which-qsmp-egg-would · 4 months

Text

🌸Intro post! (Changes over time)🌸

I do polls about the qsmp eggs and what kind of children they are! Suggestions are greatly appreciated, as I am a one man band!

Polls will be scheduled to post at 10AM PST and 4PM PST, but I love reblogging things about the eggs!

⭐️BREAK ENDS JUNE 1ST! 2 DAYS LEFT!⭐️

🌸More about me and my blog under the cut! (and some rules)🌸

About me!

⭐️ On this blog, I go by Poll! Poll is also the name of my egg mascot, but we will get into them later.

⭐️ I use They/it/any pronouns. I don't mind what you call me either, so just go with your heart kkkkkk

🇺🇸 I am American 🇺🇸

❗️I can and will block liberally. I refuse to let this blog be swamped in any amount of negativity. I am not a celebrity, I am a pleasant escape.

🌱 My special interest is plants, I am going to start my own garden soon! I also just watch a LOT of cartoons. Oh, I'm also an artist and a writer.

🫶 My native language is English, but I have been learning American Sign Language, Spanish, and recently French. I'm not good at the French.

My main Tumblr account is Captainbee66, but I keep them mostly separate. I just reblog fanart on that one, mostly. I also write fics on Ao3!

About my blog

❤️ Most of this is going to be polls. When requesting polls, PLEASE request them separately. I would prefer an inbox spam over a block of requests. It makes it easier. Also, your requests won't be answered right away. I actually have a lot saved in my inbox, so there's a good amount to sift through. Rest assured, requests will be saved until a later time. I try not to waste.

⭐️ Random asks and questions are also encouraged! I think they're fun. If I don't answer them though, don't be discouraged. Sometimes I just don't have a good answer!

⭐️⭐️ If someone makes fanart/fics based on anything on this blog, please please please tag me, that would be so cool.

❤️ Also, any language allowed here! Google Translate is my best friend, so you can use whatever is comfortable to you.

Who's that egg in my profile picture?

That egg is Poll! They're sort of my mascot/eggsona that you all helped me make!

⭐️ Poll uses any pronouns

🌸 Their defining item is a flower crown, but they wear a lot of Hawaiian shirts. (They're so nice to wear in the summer here)

😭 If anyone makes fanart of them, I will be so emotional about it.

What is Poll's Egg Playdate Project? Can I participate?

🌸This is a community project that I started! It is to encourage you all to make your own eggsonas and make friends, despite events that have happened. We are a strong community, and I want to foster that closeness we've had over the past year!🌸

❤️everyone is welcome to participate, no matter how "late" you are to the party!

❗️Please be respectful of other people's eggs. Don't be a bully, don't put them in bad situations without permission, and just generally behave, alright?

🫶Just have fun, interact with people, and spread your creative wings! If anyone wants a list of specific eggs, I've made a list that I can draw from :]

📖🖌✏️ You can make whatever you want for this project! Artworks, doodles, drabbles, paragraphs of loose thoughts, whatever you want! In any form that you want! The whole point is CREATION.

(Feel free to ask questions in my inbox <3)

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teecupangel · 8 months

Note

Hello! I just discovered you recently, dived headfirst into several your fics and am so in love with them. I'm also incredibly grateful because I'm in the middle of putting a house on the market and your fics are saving my sanity. My most recent read is 'Ouverture', and I love bitter, slightly elitist and secretly disdainful Desmond. Now I have so many questions about Unity cannon (that you've cannonballed) if you wouldn't mind just head cannoning some future what if answers?

Does Arno return to France and get caught up in the revolution? Does Des come with and keep out of sight? IS Des considered a traitor by the Paris Assassins? Arno have an opinion on the Parisian Brotherhood? Does he have better Eagle vision since Des trained him? Do Paris Assassins read blue or white to him? Does he meet Elise again? What has become of the de la Serre family?

The French Revolution:

*random rooftop after absurdly flashy physics breaking move that avoided the lookout of five Paris Assassins*

Pierre: "Pisspot."

*arrogant eyebrow game at max and full permission from Des to be an asshole*

Arno: "0uncle Pierre."

Pierre. "Figured. Only one other who could hold eagle vision that easily to evade everyone with that stunt without breaking his neck. He would have kicked me as he flipped over my head."

Much love and thanks! And sorry for the long submission!

Hello! I’m so happy my fics were able to help you during such a hard time and please don't apologize. I love getting submissions and asks, no matter how long or short they are (although I am quite late in answering them TTATT). I hope selling your home is going well!

Okay, so let’s talk about the possible future of Ouverture and A New Way To Do Things in relation to Arno.

Arno will, of course, grow up in the homestead in this one. Unity officially starts 5 years after the end of AC3 when Arno is around 21 years old. Arno returns to France because he actually followed Desmond back to France (while Ratonhnhaké:ton and Clay had to stay behind for the Brotherhood and tells Desmond that they’ll catch up to him instead). Desmond returns because Lafayette requested their aid (he and Lafayette talked a lot during the American Revolutions as two French dudes doing whatever they can) and Desmond agreed to help his ‘motherland’.

This means that Desmond and Arno went back to France without the Parisian Brotherhood’s ‘approval’ so they’re going rogue (although Charlotte gets a visit and she cries because of how much Arno has grown).

Arno now calls Desmond ‘dad’ in this one too although he still calls Charles Dorian ‘father’ and they become embroiled in AC Unity’s plot as well, with Desmond having bad feelings because there’s something in Paris that just makes his skin crawl.

Desmond is sorta in a very precarious position in the Parisian Brotherhood, especially now that Sophie Trenet is a council member. A lot of the council members have a more forgiving stance on Desmond, especially after they hear how he helped Ratonhnhaké:ton take back the ‘colonies’ from the Templars but they’re not necessarily happy that he’s back. Sophie’s the one who is pushing for him to regain his old rank (not that Desmond wants it) though because she remembers him as being a good man and a great Assassin.

Desmond and Arno actually visits Bellec in prison and that’s how they reunite. Well…

That and the cannonball that ‘started’ the prison break…

Arno is officially a member of the American Brotherhood of Assassins (like Desmond) so he’s not thought of as a traitor but more like an outsider. Arno doesn’t mind though because his memory of France felt more like a distant dream. He doesn’t like to go to Versailles though.

Arno’s opinion of the Parisian Brotherhood is pretty much nonexistent. Desmond doesn’t like to talk about them, not even to complain about them. Other than say their ranking system is ridiculously long but Arno is pretty sure Desmond was being sarcastic (he was not).

Because of this, the Parisian Assassins appear as either blue (Bellec and Sophie) or white to him. They’re polite to him but also sorta cagey because he is not one of them as far as the Brotherhood is concern.

He does have a better Eagle Vision, one of the more advanced ones, actually, considering Desmond, Clay and Ratonhnhaké:ton trained him (and that means his Assassin style is a combination of his three instructors). The whole “I see their memories” thing Arno is also theorized by Clay as being a mutation caused by Arno’s close proximity to whatever Charles Dorian was carrying with him before he handed it off to another Assassin then returned to France to get his next (and last) mission. Clay believes that it’s some kind of POE and that it sorta mutated Arno’s Isu genes to be more prevalent in this case because he was still young when he was in it’s area of ‘influence’. Of course, that’s all guesswork and Arno just uses it to get more information.

Arno does meet Élise once more and it’s… well… it’s complicated.

While it’s highly possible that Arno would still hold a torch for Élise during that time, it is also highly possible that she would just be a distant memory, the kind girl whose parents may have had a hand on the death of his father (or so Desmond believed). Hell, if you want to add more drama in that front, it could be that Élise and Arno sees each other as ‘enemies’ this time around, their childhood memories being nothing more than the innocence of children that they could no longer go back to (especially with them no longer having any long history with one another so Arno sees Élise as a Templar gone rogue and Élise sees Arno as just another Assassin). (If you want to make it hurt, have Élise be the one to actually carry a torch for Arno while Arno had already fallen in love or may have already gotten married by the time he returns to Paris. To who? Ellen’s daughter Maria who becomes Arno’s childhood friend in the Davenport Homestead). Also, he’s seen as the older brother of Ratonhnhaké:ton’s children as well so, in many ways, Arno feels more at home at Davenport than he is in Paris while Élise’s father died because he couldn’t get the letter meant to warn him in time and she’s just full of anger and the burning desire for vengeance right now, with no one she can trust at all.

Also, also… Desmond has a reunion of his own to rival Arno’s Templar-connection past.

His aunt…

Madame Flavigny.

(Yeah, that’s right. The only person who knew Desmond as Antoine Faroy and his only living blood relative is a Templar, to be more exact, a Templar from the Radical Faction.)

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misscammiedawn · 2 years

Text

Miss Cammie Dawn Masterpost

Hi all! Welcome to my combination psychology, hypnokink, fandom and personal blog! I post a ton about hypnosis mostly with a side order of mental health stuff because kink and Bad Brain are all that are on my mind.

I had bad experiences compartmentalizing my online presence years back so I keep everything in one place these days. Prevents self-loathing and impulsively deleting blogs when the shame wins. It's an all or nothing deal. Sorry about that.

We are American but born and raised in England. We have red hair. Are in our 30s at time of writing and have been active in the hypnosis community since our late teens. Presently we are prioritizing working with educators at hypnokink events and doing photoshoots where and when I can.

We are transgender, having started social transition in 2019 and HRT in 2020. We identify as transgender and consider it a very large part of who we are. We're not fond of that fact being erased, even if we mostly adhere to the gender binary in terms of our presentation.

We are fairly open about my DID diagnosis (noting that we approach our own condition through a lens of psychopathology) and the treatment we are in. We are a system of 5 though we still try to present as a single individual outside of close relationships. The tagging system is mostly a switch counter for tracking if any of us are missing to report to our therapist. Though we do answer individual asks on request, pending a member's presence.

We try to do what we can to walk the line between not suppressing our individual expression(s) without glorifying our condition and erecting further divide between parts. I avoid syscourse where I can and typically do not advertize specific things about my parts, we are all "me" just in different lights so I'll never post stuff like individual ages/genders or such. I'm open about the condition but private about the circumstances and manifestations. Please respect that.

I am addicted to tags. If you ever want to find my original content or my fandom posts you will be able to easily here. Just click on the links below and all shall be neatly organized.

Also there are secret tags which are not advertised. Those ones are for me. A little personal treat.

Last updated: 5/15/2024

Original Content:

Hypnokink Writings - My personal opinions, info and resources on Hypnokink. Suggestion Suggestions - Ideas for hypnotic scenes. Hypnokink Original Content - My little submissions of audio, visual or written hypnosis stuff. Media Essays - A tag for my own big lengthy posts breaking down media (sometimes includes reblogs of other people's commentary) Scene Stories - Posts where we describe a scene that we did IRL. If I use this tag it is a recounting of real events. Cammie Stories - My hypnosis related short stories. Fictional ones this time, though sometimes inspired by reality. Cammie Photos - Photos which feature this beautiful ginger in all her glory. Artwork Commissions - Any time I pay a lovely creator to do some art for me <3 Voiced Posts - Posts where we record stuff and say it with our mouth words. Madison and Belladonna - Stories featuring two characters who tend to get up to shenanigans I either did or plan to do. ReadOnlyMind - External link to my full length stories shared on ReadOnlyMind Media, Myself and I - Essays on DID representation in media.

Fandom Tags:

Rush (the band) - Our favorite band. Marvel Comics - We are an unabashed Marvel fangirl. Hulk - Hulk is our favorite. DID sad boi and angry fail system forever. Spider-Man - Spidey is also a sad boi. Ben Reilly is our favorite. X-Men - Our girlfriend likes X-Men. We are getting into it. Metal Gear Solid - Used to be one of our faves. It's beautifully stupid. House of Leaves - That damned maze that my mind is trapped in forever. Twin Peaks - Best TV show. Discworld - Best fantasy author. Tamora Pierce - Second best fantasy author. She-Ra - Catra did many things wrong but have you considered that I love her? Control - Jesse is such a great character. Faden/Pope forever. Neon Genesis Evangelion - We love this series more than we have words for. Phantom of the Opera - The musical is kinda hypnohorny, okay? Castlevania - We like Vania. We just don't post about it often. Penlight - VN that educates on the dangers of hypnokink and the joys when done right. Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul - Meme factory. Ace Attorney - Meme factory. Mr. Robot - Our favorite TV show. It has its flaws but it heals. Leverage - Meme factory. Parker is best thief. Umineko - Meme factory and earnest story about generational trauma. DC Comics - I guess DC are okay. They're not Marvel though. The Good Place - The best mainstream philosophy show. Celeste - Trans folx can double jump. Plural folx can triple jump. Sonic - You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum that raised me. Sonic fandom forever. Persona - Used to be big into this franchise but not so much these days. Sailor Moon - Don't post here much but the aesthetic and vibes are peak. Scott Pilgrim - Canadian boy who is the worst and manic pixie trans girlfriend. Pathologic - Existentialism and prickly pricks. We like Clara a lot. Ted Lasso - Mental health and footie mens. Saccharine show. DBZ - Mostly shitposting but I often defend that Z is well written. Dungeon Meshi - Autistic representation and Italian wlw monsterfuckers. Tumblr :) - I love it here! Tumblr :( - I hate it here =/

Hypnokink Tags:

Hypnokink -General tag for all hypnokink posts. Community Resources - Educational resources in hypnokink. Hypnosis Events - Convention information Community Safety - Topics discussing dangerous topics and predators Hypnosis on Display - Audios, videos, demos and photos of hypnosis. Hypnokink Art - Artwork featuring hypnosis. Hypnosis Fiction - Stories featuring hypnokink. General hypnosis tag - General tag for all hypnosis topics. 50 Days of Fetish Masterpost - Easy links to all 50 posts about why I love hypnokink with examples, audios, photos and videos. 50 Days of Fetish - Tag list of 50 different scenes and suggestions in hypnosis that gets me going and reblogs of other folx who participated in the challenge. Charmed Recaps - Convention recaps for Charmed! Hypnokink convention

General Tags:

Cammie Posting - tag for a soft and playful girl.

Camden Posting - tag for a traumaqueer.

Dawn Posting - tag for a flirty and extravagant Fae.

Craig Posting - tag for the boy that lives in the heart of a girl.

Shitposting - tag for when we're being silly.

Bites You Bites You Bites You - Cammie has a tag entirely for biting people <3

Personal Topics:

Mental Health/DID/BPD Topics - Watch Me Post My Trauma In Public Personal Posts - Ones which are just me venting or talking specifically about my life and experiences. Asexuality - We are a kinky ace. We don't do sex or orgasms but sometimes do horny. BPD Specific - BPD is difficult to live with and impacts our relationships with others DID specific - DID is difficult to live with and impacts our relationships with ourselves. We try to educate on the topic. Trans specific - This Is My Gender and I am Proud of It.

Thirst Tags:

Vampire Thirst - Cammie Likes Redheads Sword Lady Thirst - I just want my chin lifted by a sword so I have to meet their gaze... Hypnokink Art - Did I mention we have a hypnokink? Redheads - We like redheads. We are redheads. Stage Magicians - Stage magic is hot. Do not @ me.

Friends and Loved Ones:

Daja - Beloved. Sleepyhead - Beloved. Lady Ru'etha - Goddess, Beloved. Linny Bee - Sweetheart. Hypnokink craft lady. Nath - Incredible writer. Good opinion haver. Metamour. EllaEnchanting - Inspiration for asexual hypnokink, cool person and opinion haver. Puppet - Counterpart. Metamour. Fellow Sleepyhead enjoyer. Skaetlett - Inspiration for plurality based hypnofiction. Superb person. Secret Subject - Boss. VTuber extraordinaire and good friend. Double Grinch - Absolute sweetheart. Fellow Secret Mod. TennFan - An inspiration in asexual hypnokink content Paperboy64 - Absolute sweetheart.

Ask Tags:

Cammie Asks - Asks answered while Cammie is fronting. Camden Asks - Asks answered while Camden is fronting. Dawn Asks - Asks answered while Dawn is fronting. Craig Asks - Asks answered while Craig is fronting. Ask Memes - Ask based games. We try to link the source but sometimes forget. Hypno Themed Asks - Asks about hypnosis.

Post Highlights:

Dissociative Disorders and Hypnosis - At Charmed 2024 a 101 class taught not to hypnotize people with mental illnesses that include dissociation. I FIRMLY disagree and explain how to safely work with dissociative partners.

Ethical Personality Play - A post about how hypnosis personality play is edge play and though I discourage anyone doing it, if you must, I will teach you how to do it safely. I have a lot of experience.

Mr. Robot DID Representation - Why I think Mr. Robot has the best representation of DID in popular fiction and why the ending was a complete fumble of the ball.

Mr. Robot Back to the Future & Brainwashing - How Whiterose brainwashed Angela, focused on psychological principles being abused and how the show's reliance on pop culture references influences in and out of universe.

#pinned post

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mueritos · 1 year

Note

screaming and crying i dropped an ask on like july last year and then left tumblr so cannot see at all what your response was to it (if even responded at all) but it’s so cool to still see your being a very open loud and proud faggalious transmasc, given how many terfs are false reporting openly trans people (specially if they’re that loud and proud about it) i was worried they would’ve stuck down your shit by now anyways, what your thoughts on being mixed? im mixed (black dad, white mom, both latino) and it feels so complicated?? you’re not black enough for black people and you aren’t white enough to get any safety out it. even if you’re white passing (which is an iffy term for me ngl but i understand the point of it so i still use it)

Aw hi there!! I apologize if I never answered it, I have close to 2k unanswered asks in my inbox, so I try to answer what I can with the energy I have. I'm happy you could find safety in my blog from how open I am :)

As for your question, I can say that I'm mixed myself! I can guarantee you that all latines are. I found out last year that I am half indigenous (North American and Central Mexican Native) and half spanish/portuguese. This makes sense due to colonization, of course, but its hard not to know until an actual DNA test of what that makeup is. Even now I still struggle with being okay to call myself indigenous (I have no tribal affiliation due to colonization), and I at the most call myself detribalized. I am often "too mexican" for white spaces, but I am also constantly question why white people about my ethnic/racial status, or about the extent of how "mexican" I am. At the same time, I worry I am not mexican enough even when in mexican spaces, as I am trans/queer/neurodivergent, and this complicates my relationship with my ethnic/racial identities. I, however, have white privilege (I refuse to use "white passing" because what the fuck is that), and I won't ever experience colorism or racism the same way darker skinned latines will.

I think being mixed can bring complicated relationships, especially when it comes to dual identities, whether racially, ethnically, or nationally. It can make you feel like an outsider within your own family, but it can also allow you to see and experience multiple worlds/cultures with a level of intimacy others do not have.

I know other mixed latinos with 2c hair, Black/indigenous features, and latino last names who call themselves "white passing", even though I have paler skin than them! You can use whatever terms you want to describe yourself, but please keep in mind that white folk have taken this term and run off with it, applying to any and every mixed/non-white person just because they look slightly "european".

I think latines have a long way to go in terms of acknowledging race, but colonizer racial castes definitely have their blame in this failure to recognize Blackness and Indigeneity in latine populations. Afro-latino wasn't even recognized in countries like Mexico until a few years ago. I really suggest finding community with people who are mixed like you, who can understand the deep rooted confusion, unlearning, and relearning that being mixed and accepting that mixed identity can bring. Finding community with others will always allow you to feel safer and connected with others.

#muertoresponds #i can talk more about it but ive stopped myself there #its not easy being mixed and my experience is going to be wildly different from people who are mixed black because phew #antiblackness is one hell of an oppressor #wish u the best of luck my friend

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pftones3482 · 6 days

Note

Hello and good evening. I am a long time follower of yours on this platform. If it isn't too much of a hassle, I would like to ask you a couple of questions.

I am a college student from Europe and I an currently working on my bachelors degree. The subject of my degree is on the subject of current social issues in America. As I've been following you for the past few years I have come to the understanding that you are rather well informed about what goes on in America. Far better than I (an outsider) am at least. So, I thought that it would be a good decision on my part to ask for your opinion on what are the five most important or talked about social issues in America. As well as what you think the best or most reputable sources to use for research on these topics are.

If this isn't something you feel like commenting on for whatever reason, then feel free to ignore this message. Or if you believe that there are better people to ask about this, can you please steer me in their direction. Thank you for your time.

Kind regards.

P.S. I tried to send this as a direct message, but Tumblr continued to give me a 'could not send' error message. I don't know why that happened, but apologies if this causes you any inconvenience.

Oof, this is a long one to answer lol.

First and foremost, I want to say that I myself am not a reputable source. I actually get a lot of my information from first hand experiences of people on TikTok (blah blah TikTok isn't reputable yadda yadda I KNOW, but first hand accounts of people's lived experience are always more reputable than some random commentary by a white man on CNN). That being said, I can link a few people directly to follow, but I've struggled a lot to find ONE news source in recent years that isn't biased. I tend to just compare multiple sources to hear what all of them are saying (and everyone should be doing that anyway).

As far as "most important or most talked about" social issues, those vary person to person in the US. The social issues I find most important are not going to be the ones my neighbor finds most important. And keep in mind going into this I'm a cis white woman. I am part of the LGBTQIA community, I'm disabled, but I also hold a lot of privilege that many of my fellow Americans don't. And that's definitely going to skew my thoughts.

For me, personally, the top five most important social issues in the US rn are (in no order):

1. Land Back. Native Americans have had their land stolen from them for CENTURIES, and it is crucial we give it back to them. They actually care for the environment around them in a way that white rich men don't. Native people have existed peacefully with wildlife since the dawn of humanity, are humane in hunting practices, and care for the land they use. They deserve their homes back. The atrocities committed towards the Native community are horrendous (they've lost language, family, traditions), and they need better protections as a whole.

2. Trans rights. Specifically with trans youth, but overall in this country trans people are facing more and more discrimination in terms of legislation. There have been hundreds of bills introduced against them in the last few years alone, and all they're trying to do is survive. Especially trans people of color, and even more specifically trans women of color - they're all struggling in this country.

3. Public schooling/libraries. This one's broader, but we are seeing a huge educational gap between the last 15-20 years of schooling. We're teaching for tests, not to learn. Schools should not be funded based on local taxes, they should all be given the same funding from the government to give children an equal opportunity across the country. Teachers need higher wages and smaller classrooms, and children need HELP developmentally. Less tech, more hands on. Libraries, similarly, need significantly more funding and protections, and the censorship in both spaces is getting out of control. Children are not thriving in school because of the "No Child Left Behind" act - it needs to be revoked, because it doesn't help any child actually get the education they need.

4. The police. Specifically, their treatment of the black community and their authoritarian complex within the states. Funding needs to be heavily divested and frankly the entire industry needs to be scrapped and replaced. More of their "services" need to be allocated to mental health professionals/EMTs, and they should be required to go to school for psychology/humanitarian studies/cultural relations. No one should be allowed to shoot a person after only six weeks of training. No one should get a paid vacation after taking a person's life. Cops in America are disgusting, brutal, racist pigs, and they are a big part of the reason why we cannot move forward as a country.

5. Housing/minimum wage. We have a MASSIVE housing crisis going on right now, and it's in large part due to the fact that our national minimum wage stagnated at $7.25 in 2009 - 15 years ago. While many states are above that now, it's still LEGAL to pay that rate nationwide, and people in the service industry make even less. Because of this, and inflated housing costs, people literally cannot afford to live here. There are virtually no programs to assist many of our homeless people, no care for them in general, and every day I have to walk past people begging for money who I can't help because I also don't have it to spare when there are people literally buying billion dollar dresses to wear once and then throw away. We have the infrastructure in this country TO house everyone, and it costs more to police homeless people than it would to house them long term. (This also goes hand in hand with our substance abuse problem/mental health crisis as a country, but that would take way too long to type out)

There's way more I could get into - taxes, the voting system (and specifically how much we need to get rid of the electoral college and implement ranked choice voting), queer rights, women's rights, the return of Hawaii to Hawaiians, reproductive rights, etc. I struggle to pick because so many social issues are important for different reasons.

As far as people to follow, here's a small list of people who tend to cover the majority of topics I've listed:

Rynnstar - they do a great job covering all kinds of issues, really can't recommend them enough to follow

Mercury Stardust - lot of people know her as the "handyma'am" but she also talks about a lot of these issues, especially those faced by the trans community.

Ellaequeue - Land Back discussions, Mexican American, overall great person, love their posts on my fyp

Ebony Warrior Studios - a black veteran openly speaking out against our military complex, as well as delving into other social issues. He's also a voice actor!

These folks are also all pro-Palestine which we love to see.

Again - not a comprehensive list. None of them are traditional news sources. But they've all lived their lives in their bodies, in our society. And I think if you don't know where to start on US social issues, these people are an easy way to learn more and find more people to follow.

News sources are great, when vetted correctly. But most news sources in the US are heavily skewed one way or another, so if you're trying to learn about social issues, you need to talk to the people directly. Not read articles about them (general statement, not directed at you lol).

I appreciate the ask, and wish I could give you more in the way of sources. But again, I tend to get my news from people first and THEN look up information to confirm. If I'm going to pick one news source right now, it's going to be Al Jazeera. Any media that Israel bans is okay in my book 😌 They cover more than just Israel/Palestine, in case you weren't aware!

I hope any of this helps, and if any of my followers have people/sources you trust, feel free to drop them in the replies.

#foggynightfestival #asks

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deliciouskeys · 10 months

Note

13 for the OTP thing

13- Write about your ship celebrating one of the members birthdays. From the soft OTP prompts.

I am so late in answering this, Anon-who-may-not-even-see-this, mostly because I’ve been wanting to write a full-fledged answer to this prompt but kept getting stumped by how to approach it, and had at least four different ideas:

February 22

I don’t think I’m alone in thinking HL’s fake birthday in the show is Feb 22 as per the Boys Twitter account post that he shares a birthday with George Washington. This would mean they scheduled it during the post-Christmas doldrums and nothing good on TV and not great weather, and not on the Fourth of July when every red blooded American is going to be sitting under the stars watching fireworks after a barbecue. I wouldn’t put it past them to air the special on the President’s Day Monday and not even the 22nd every year.

I wanted to write Billy watching one of the inane birthday specials in his sad apartment, drinking and scoffing and talking to himself like a sad old man, and then HL suddenly drops by and Billy’s all “whoa, I thought they aired these things live!” and HL’s all “yeah well after what happened last year they recorded it ahead 😒”, and Billy’s about to say something snarky but thinks better of it when HL is clearly here and down to fuck. They’re in a messed up enemies with benefits relationship in this version.

Fourth of July

If we follow comicsverse and the resultant wiki article, HL’s birthday is on Independence Day. Billy is having a good time at MM’s barbecue on some NYC roofdeck (he has custody of Janine on holidays), the rest of the Boys are there too, Frenchie is criticizing MM’s grilling and burger assembly techniques, Kimiko is assembling kebabs a little too aggressively, Hughie and Annie are drinking Trulys. Suddenly HL literally drops in. People on neighboring roof decks are going nuts, super pumped. The Boys are all ashen faced except maybe Kimiko who’s unfazed, and Janine is pretty enthused, and none of them want to traumatize her if at all possible, so MM is silently pleading with Billy not to escalate the situation. But Billy’s like “wtf you doing here cunt 😡” and HL’s like “First of allllllll, I’m allowed to be here” and Billy tries to object that no one invited him, but Janine’s already asking for an autograph and MM has to keep it together. And then HL is like “Also it’s my birthday, so I’d please like you all to sing happy birthday to me” and Annie’s eyes are shooting daggers because srsly, again with this stupid powerplay?? But MM is pleading with Billy to try not to turn this into a scene, and Frenchie seems down for absolutely no reason, so they all sing, pretty badly and hesitantly, and Billy distinctly says “dear supe cunt” but they do finish it out, and Billy’s dismayed that HL is maybe touched for real. And then they have a really uncomfortable remainder of a barbecue where HL plays up his aw shucks persona to Janine, and Billy is seething, but Frenchie and Hughie are kind of impressed that HL can char corn on the cob with his eyes better than the grill. They’re all very relieved when he has to leave to film his special though.

Billy’s birthday

Another enemies-with-benefits scenario. I assume Billy never does anything to mark his birthday, and figures no one knows it, but HL gets Vought Analytics to sniff it out. Billy’s hanging out in his apartment like any normal night when HL shows up with some super fancy Japanese-French bakery small cake with candles on it, and Billy bursts out laughing because it’s pretty incongruous, but then he also gets really angry, because he remembers the last person who made him a cake was Becca before 2012, and it was the exact opposite of this, homemade and kind of lopsided and the writing with icing was a mess because cake decoration wasn’t her forte. And it’s really sad and never mind I would never write this, definitely not as a oneshot 😢

HL’s real birthday

I might actually include this in my mpreg fic. I want HL’s actual birthday to be some random day in spring like they say in the show, maybe May, and for Billy to find out the real date from some godforsaken secret document from the 80s during the massive FBI investigation of all of Vought’s files. It’s something HL never found out for himself, so this piece of intel is like a gift in itself.

#thanks for the ask!#butchlander #homelander #billy butcher #the boys #the boys tv #fic ideas #mystuff

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ficklecat · 8 months

Text

OC Interview: Emmanuel Domingo

(dialogue responses to the OC interview prompt)

1. Please state your full name and occupation.

“Emmanuel José Domingo Alvarez, or Manny Domingo for shorter. I’m a physical trainer and a grad student, hoping to become a physical therapist!”

2. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

“I am a proud Guatemalan and first generation American citizen of my family, and first to go to college too, which I am so grateful for. I love the outdoors and playing sports; I’ve been an athlete since I was a little kid, as little as a baby, because my father says I kicked a lot before I was even born!” (laughs) “Let’s see…I have two wonderful partners, Phineas and Violet, who I adore with all my heart, and my dream is to build my own physical therapy practice and help people pursue recovery and healing at any shape, size, or condition!”

3. How would you describe your childhood?

“I think I had a wonderful childhood, despite missing a few things. My father did everything he could to make my life better and easier than his was and he made good on that promise. Growing up without my mother here was hard sometimes, but I was still surrounded with so much love and support, I didn’t want for anything even when my papà didn’t have a lot to give. I could do sports and make friends and I got good grades and made my papà proud, which was enough for me. I am very fortunate.”

4. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

“I wanted to represent Guatemala in the Olympics! I still think I could honestly, but that would mean a lot of work to change my current path, and I’m quite happy with where I am now!”

5. Do you have any role models? Tell us a little bit about them.

“Ah, so many! My papà, of course, he is my hero. A few athletes, notably Erick Borrondo, who was the first and only Guatemalan Olympic medalist. Serena Williams, but also Alok Vaid-Menon and Blair Imani. I look up to the people who I feel embody the spirit of being authentically who they are and fighting to reach their potential, or helping others to do the same.”

6. Are you introverted or extroverted? Why?

“Absolutely extroverted. I can’t help it. I love learning about people and meeting new friends. Phineas jokes that I’ve never met a stranger, and that’s true!” (laughs)

7. How would you describe yourself in three words?

“Passionate. Loving. Determined!!”

8. What do you like to do for fun?

“I love it when the three of us go hiking or to the beach together. Or cooking dinner with Violeta. She is a wonderful baker! I enjoy testing recipes with her. If I’m by myself I mostly enjoy going for a run out in nature, or watching anime. I can binge a whole series in a weekend if I’m not careful!”

9. What's your greatest achievement? Why do you consider this your greatest achievement?

This was answered in an ask, check the tag to find it!

10. What's your biggest goal? How do you hope to achieve this?

“I want to be able to help people achieve the best versions of themselves. I don’t know if that can count as a goal so much as an aspiration but it is something I think I’ll never achieve only once, but rather will always work towards. I get a lot of fulfilment and energy from helping others, it enriches me and makes me feel purposeful. I think because of this I will never truly be done working towards this goal because I know in my heart I’ll always be looking for ways I can help, moving from one to the next. It’s a good thing for me though, it makes me excited about the future.”

11. What does your dream room/house look like? Would you mind showing some inspiration pictures?

“Honestly I’d love to live in my childhood home! My father and I have been fixing it up, he’s been remodelling a few of the rooms and I help him some weekends. We have so much tied to that place, it’s a very special and comforting space. It has high ceilings and lots of natural light in the front room, a gorgeous sunroom where papà keeps some of his herb garden, and the kitchen is coming along with new cabinets and countertops. Little by little! If not that exact home I’d love something like it - warm and inviting and bright, with space for me and my loved ones to enjoy each other’s company.”

12. How would you describe your style?

“Athletic and comfortable. I am usually at the gym working with my clients so I am always dressed for that. Which I don’t mind, I feel stuffy in other clothes sometimes. If I’m not wearing gym clothes I’ll at least like to wear some decent shoes, and I always bring a hoodie or jacket wherever I go. I like being prepared.”

13. What's your favorite song?

“Ahhh I love music, this is a hard question! My go to answer for this question is usually What I Got by Sublime, but there are so so many more - Sweet Honey by Slightly Stoopid, Longview and When I Come Around by Green Day are also favourites —ah! Too many to name!”

14. Where are you happiest?

“Outside! Even on bad weather days I love being in nature. I often like to go on walks or lay in the sun on my patio or in the grass on the campus green. No matter what mood I’m in nature can always manage to bring me back in some way. It’s as close to a cure-all as I can get.”

15. Who is the most important person in your life? Why?

“It’s impossible for me to pick just one person, I love too many to say one is more important than the other.”

16. Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not?

“I believe with all my heart that Phineas and Violet are my soul mates. I also believe my father and mother are soulmates. But I believe soulmates aren’t just lovers, you know? They’re friends. They’re mentors. They’re whoever makes you feel like your life is worth living. Maybe that’s not a soulmate to some people but it is to me.”

17. Have you ever been in love?

“I am so in love! I have been in love since I was very young. I continue to love just the same, even more now I think, because I know what it means to feel it.”

18. Have you ever been kissed?

“Oh most certainly. I don’t think I’ve gone a single day in recent memory where I haven’t been kissed. I’m so lucky for that.”

19. Describe an average day in your life.

“I like to get up early and start the day with black coffee at the window. It’s a good time to get myself some alone time and prepare for my day because no one is awake yet usually. After coffee I’ll have breakfast and then get ready for the day. I try to keep all my classes in the morning so that I can train my clients in the afternoons and evenings, so I work out after lunch before training, or if I have time I’ll try to get a workout in after breakfast and before classes. I try to keep busy so I tend to book clients until late, and typically I’ll be finished with my day around six or seven. Dinner with my loves is usually after that, and then I’ll do homework or study or spend time with them after that!”

20. Describe your nighttime routine.

“I try to walk every night for a little bit, which usually means I get to walk with Phineas and his dogs most evenings. Or if he isn’t up for it I’ll take them myself. I like doing that, they’re sweet and it makes me feel helpful. After that I’ll enjoy whatever Violet and Phineas have planned - for them, it’s usually movies or shows, and we like to take turns picking what to watch together. Sometimes we’ll play a game or I’ll play cards with Violet while Phineas reads, but my nights typically end with the two of them no matter what. After all that, I’ll shower and get in bed - Violet sleeps in and Phineas is an insomniac, so I’m usually the first to sleep, but they still like to cuddle up with me even if they don’t sleep right away, which is so very lovely.”

21. (Make up a question) Tell us a “low-stakes” unpopular opinion you have.

“Oye this might talk me out of a job but - exercise is free! You don’t have to buy anything, you can just move! The myth that there’s a right way or proper way to exercise is silly to me - go walk, jump up and down, dance in your living room! Exercise is free and it can be anything you want it to be! I dislike the narrative society has created that tricks people into feeling like movement needs to be competitive or prescribed or on a membership basis. You can do whatever you want, you can move however you want - my father used to chop wood in the back yard to work out, we didn’t have a fire place! There are less rules than you think, have fun!”

#manny #OCs #oc thursdays #oc ask game #oc prompt #axel’s brainpals

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dykeomania · 7 months

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Mia please I need advice on how to build a roster or even start going on dates w other women in the first place like I swear I’m not a loser I just don’t know where to start. For context I’m a femme lesbian who likes butches/mascs ….any advice will be appreciated thank u kindly ……

okay i am so bad at answering asks but i'm gonna try to give you a rundown and tell you some stuff based off of my experience

so i'm like pretty feminine presenting i guess (i dress "comfortably," tomboyish, idk), would not say i lean strictly masculine in terms of how i present myself. i keep my options pretty open. uhhh, i'm american, so i use like. dating apps in america. i'm 20. waves my hands. yktv ok just some context.

dating apps are fun. get into dating apps. i like hinge because you can set your location to wherever you want and it's free and that been be super useful if you happen to live in a small town or any place that doesn't have a big lesbo community. pro is that you can set your location wherever you want (set it to mass or anywhere in the upper northeast, bitches are gay as fuck up here -- by like uvm, mount holyoke, downtown boston, or new york, pennsylvania too surprisingly). con is that you can set it to anywhere you want, and that might put you in a long-medium distance situation so be ready for that/mindful of that or just have a car.

i would say that hinge is also good because it learns your taste after a while. so if you only swipe on masculine presenting women, then it'll pick up on that after a while and begin to only show you women who are masculine presenting. pretty cool

going on dates, and flirting with women. im not gonna say too much here bc you said you're not a loser so i think you got it but generally speaking like, when it comes time and you've got a girl in your dms and let's say you're somewhat close, don't hold back. if you catch a vibe, you can be like heyyyy im gonna be in your cityyyy dadadada we should go for coffee. let's link, let's do something. or let them know, and be like we should do something, and let them make the plans. keep them held to that. and by this point like, definitely make sure that 1) you know this person is real obvi 2) you've exchanged #s /socials with them, or at least after you've agreed to go on a date -- this is a me thing, it makes things feel a little more set in stone for me personally. and do not just settle for casual hookups. some women will hit you up on some like, oh let's just link or makeout or come to my dorm, and if that's your jam, i would say go for it but i would also caution you. however, if you want more than that there are a hundred percent women who are more than willing to like, take you ice skating, take you on a picnic, go for a walk somewhere, etc. don't settle. be patient, but don't settle

and when it comes to dating generally speaking, define your boundaries. say what it is that you want, and honor that, and honor what the other person wants as well. things may change, but it's important to make sure that everyone is on a good playing field before you really delve into things past like, a first date. things can be casual still obviously after the second date, third date, what may have you, however, but again, good comunication is important so just make sure that y'all are on the same page even if it's just casual and you're feeling things out. like, are you exclusive? do you wanna be? if you're gonna kiss at the end of your dates, make sure you both know what that means, if anything at all? etc.

and i guess the last and perhaps the most unhelpful thing is like, just keep your options very broad in terms of where you're looking but i'd also encourage you to be careful. i met some girls on my roster through like, a social media app meant for college students that i downloaded bc of my school (yik yak, dead ass). people pop up from anywhere.

i hope this was helpful. i kinda wanna say more but im trying to find things to say and it is hard because i am so sleepy

#mia what are you talking about #mwah #lowkey?#mia's dating column

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crystallizedkingdoms · 8 months

Text

cicada calls & goldfinch songs

Rory and Carrie have an emotional moment… on the floor.

wc: 4,817 || tw: ableism

you can also read this on ao3 <3

Droning hums of cicada calls are the only sounds that hit Rory’s ears that don’t come from the dingy box fan right beside his face. The suffocating September heat, too early for fall to kick in but too late to justify turning on more than one fan, drags Rory down into the dirt-stained carpeted floor of the living room. He lays there, stewing in the heat and sweat, eyes closed and mouth parted ever so slightly.

Usually, Rory falls asleep after a certain amount of time on the floor, but this time, sleep just can’t come to him. Maybe it’s the awful sticky feeling that the humid weather plasters on his skin, or maybe it’s the mind-numbing cacophony of insects seeking each other out that permeates the walls. Maybe it’s the pain in Rory’s back from moving the new wave of shitty movies onto shelves all day. Whatever it is, it keeps Rory up, stuck in an exhausting state of limbo, limp on the floor. It keeps Rory’s mind awake enough to think.

I should change out of this stupid uniform, really, I need to shower, too, but god am I hungry, I think I need to make dinner tonight. Dinner for one? no, no, dinner for two at least, maybe three if mom drops by before she goes out, she might be gone a while she might be hungry maybe make enough for leftovers just in case, sure, maybe that bitch should just cook for herself though no god sorry. Ignore it ignore it fuck those cicadas are loud as shit. Visit dad at ward tomorrow and sneak leftovers. Dinner for two, Carrie will be hungry, should ask her what she wants for dinner wait where is Carrie? Sun is setting she should’ve been here already, first day of school ended hours ago should I get up and look? She does this sometimes she should be fine but what if she’s not what if something is wrong maybe I should get up but I don’t want to god my back hurts what if she’s hurt what if I—

What pulls Rory out of his messy head is the sound of a scraping key against a keyhole and the subsequent slam of a door opening. Rory’s body freezes, and his brain scrambles, begging him to get off of the floor in time before the person sees him, but the unbearable heat keeps him down. All he can do is crane his neck to look at who is entering the house and hope it’s not a client.

His thoughts and prayers are answered when Carrie stumbles past the door, staring him down. Rory can’t see her face very well, as the fleeting rays of the setting sun illuminate her from behind, casting leaving her face and in shadow. The open door temporarily lets in the songs of American goldfinches and common crows into the Mancer home, into Rory’s spirit.

Temporarily being the keyword. Birdsong drowns under cicada calls as Carrie slams the door behind her and chucks her backpack down on the ground. She kicks her bag further to the side and lets out a strained huff. “Hi,” she signs, her right hand unusually stiff and curt as it moves up from her forehead.

“Hey,” Rory replies, his hand much less tense as he returns the movement. His face screws up, canine idly biting his lip. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Carrie’s hands are quick to respond, almost sloppy as she angrily throws her hands down to her side when she finishes. She stomps closer to Rory, her eyes never leaving him and his state on the floor.

Rory doesn’t press. It’s a delicate situation, deciding which questions to ask, what exactly to say, but he tests the waters with another question, “Tell me why you took so long, at least. Please.”

Carrie huffs and crosses her arms. Her way of saying she won’t talk, no matter what! She swears that she means it every time she does it. But when Rory gives her those big brother puppy eyes, worried and searching for an answer, she gives in without a second thought and uncrosses her arms. “I was just in the graveyard. Far end, near the overpass. That’s all. I promise.”

Rory sighs and visibly relaxes. “Good. Now, come here,” he says, patting the floor beside him.

Carrie looks to the side. Her frown is more noticeable in this angle. “The floor? I don’t need to do that anymore. I’m not a baby.”

Rory pats the floor harder, forcing a smile. “Come on,” he insists, “floor time. You need it. I need it.”

The frown on Carrie’s face doesn’t leave, but the body loosens up from its previous stiffness. She relents, and slowly she descends to his level to lie by Rory’s side. Her hair, short and blunt from a recent chop she had done herself only a few weeks earlier (she was found teary eyed and regretful in the bathtub the morning after), doesn’t fan out across the floor like Rory’s does, but it catches the light from a slit in the curtains that Rory’s couldn’t catch from his spot.

Rory gives her some time to settle in. He closes his eyes and listens to her sigh and grumble, her frustration as unbearably hot as the surrounding air. She stews in her anger, eyes boring holes into the ceiling above.

Rory wants so desperately to ask her why she’s acting this way. What could’ve happened in school to cause this? Although he knows the answer, not even buried that far back in his mind, he desperately wishes it will be anything else. He hopes with all his soul that it will ever be anything else than what he already knows. So, he knows better than to ask. At least for now.

For as much as Rory deliberates on asking Carrie the question, it is actually Carrie who turns to fully face him. She taps him on the shoulder, and he faces her the same way. “How’s your new job?” she inquires.

“Ugh, you don’t wanna know. It is actually insane how nothing can happen in that place. All I do is restock stuff that never sells and sit around on the company computer. I guess it leaves me with a lot of time to think, though,” Rory explains, exasperation oozing in every movement. The heat and sweat only exemplify his messy style.

Carrie can only let out a disappointed groan. “Are the movies at least watchable?”

“I promise, not one of them is even worth watching passively. I tried watching one during work in the back, and for a moment I thought that it would be more entertaining to sit and face the wall than just looking at that movie.”

Carrie pouts. “So, you can’t bring some home?”

Damn. Rory’s eyes shift away to avoid looking at Carrie. “You wouldn’t like the movies, really…” he says. His eyes catch Carrie’s by accident, and that mixed look of residual frustration and genuine disappointment gets the better of him. “But, well, yes, I can bring them home. We can make fun of them together.”

Some part of Rory expects the news to light Carrie up. If not completely, then at least crack a smile. It does neither. She shrugs and lets her hands fall to the floor. Her nails absentmindedly pick at the carpet fibre, her eyes cast downwards, almost purposefully avoiding Rory. It stings, Rory won’t lie.

Would it be better to let her be? The delicate balance of being too pushy or too neglectful feels impossible to navigate, scorching Rory’s thoughts like a rough summer. For a moment, Rory leans into the thought of leaving Carrie alone. She could always come to him when she felt ready to. She knew that, right? She’s big enough to know that now. That's a whole other horror of itself that Rory isn’t ready to confront.

Rory thinks about how his parents left him be. Left him be, let him be. Let him shrivel under the overbearing sun.

No, he realizes. I can’t do that to her.

An inkling of an idea he had come up with days ago comes to mind. It is silly, but really, what can you expect from an older brother of any age? Rory taps Carrie on the shoulder. She looks at him from the corner of her eye, but he motions for her to fully face him. Carrie does as she’s asked, shifting her head. “What?” she asks, her face providing a tone to her sign that only cranky preteens can unleash.

Rory smiles at the stupid idea brewing in his head. “Do you know how fairies say ‘microwave’?” Rory asks.

Carrie shrugs as best as she can while laying on her side. “How?”

Rory raises his hand between them, then closes all his fingers, except his pinkie. He shifts his pinkie side to side in a quick waving motion. “ Microwave,” he says out loud for emphasis to no one but himself.

Carrie stares at Rory blankly. Then her lips tremble. Her back rises and falls too sharply for any normal breath.

Got you.

Before Carrie can call him dumb or insufferable, Rory interjects as quickly as he can, “Have you heard the actual story of King Kong?”

The question stuns Carrie out of her need to tease. “No?”

“Well, it starts the same as the normal King Kong. King Kong is rampaging in New York City, stomping around and causing crowds to run in fear, when he spots the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. He scoops her into one of his hands, and he climbs to the top of the Empire State Building, swatting away the helicopters and military that try to defeat him. Eventually, he finally gets to speak to the woman. He props her up on his left hand to speak to her better.” Rory props up his own left hand as he tells the story, and Carrie watches him with curious eyes.

“When King Kong tries to speak to the woman, she shakes her head and points to her ears. ‘I’m Deaf!’ she says. King Kong signs, ‘That’s okay. I know sign language. My parents are Deaf,’” Rory pauses for dramatic effect, and to give his hands a quick break from the sweeping, exaggerated gesture he has been doing. He hears a bitten-back giggle from Carrie, sees how her lips accidentally crack a smile, and he fights back his own grin to continue the joke.

“And he continues in ASL. He says, ‘You are so beautiful! I love you. I want to marry—’” Rory slams his right hand onto his left one, the sign for ‘marry’. His eyes grow wide in shock, faux horror settling in on his face. “‘Shit!’”

Raucous laughter fills Rory’s ears, drowning out the sounds of summer insects and failing fans. Rory hadn’t expected her to laugh so hard, he only expected to put a little smile on her face. He doesn’t complain, not at all; he relishes every single sound, watching as her whole body shakes in her big, charming laugh.

Carrie is still a smiling and giggling mess when she can steady her hands enough to talk. “Where did you learn that?” she asks through jittery hands.

“You know how I said my new job has a computer? Well, it has access to the Internet. I’ve found some pretty cool forums on there. One of them was made by Deaf people and people with deaf family members. They shared some jokes with me that I could tell you,” Rory explains.

A twinkle lights up in Carrie’s eye when he mentions the Internet. She’s practically sparkling when he talks about the forum. Rory tries to ride that high, elaborating, “Since barely anyone comes in right now, I use that computer and the Internet as much as I can. It’s really amazing. If you need anything, anything, tell me. I’ll try to find whatever you need there. At least until I save up enough to get my own computer, like I told you I would.”

Carrie is still beaming, warmth radiating from her like a gentle star. Rory can tolerate the warmth, even in his sweaty Planet VHS uniform and dirty carpet floors, just so long as it is Carrie’s warmth.

That is why it’s all the more shocking when that warmth is sapped from him not only a minute later. Her sparkle catches on something, flickering away in the humid wind, and her bright smile falters. “Can you find other schools on the computer?” she asks tentatively.

There it is. The small opening, a crack in her walls. Rory’s own smile falters as he tries to keep that crack open for as long as he can. “A new middle school? What’s wrong with the one you’re in now?”

“I don’t know…” Carrie’s hand stands still.

“You can tell me. I won’t tell our parents if you don’t want me to. Please, just tell me,” Rory begs. He’s so desperate in his begging that he starts mouthing his words in English.

Carrie stares at Rory with apprehension. Her body is tense once again, deliberating over her words. Finally, she gives in. “I can’t be in this school. It’s not for me,” she sighs.

Rory looks to the side. Right. Of course. “I’m sorry. I know it’s hard. But I thought your EA was decent?”

“She’s not. She isn’t even as good as you, or even Mom! But,” Carrie balls up her fists in momentary frustration, but she quickly gets back on track, “but she’s not the issue. She’s not the issue. The issue is… um, it’s these girls. It’s these girls in the classroom next to mine.”

Rory scowls. Those fucking bastards. “Same ones from your old school?” he asks, barely containing his anger.

Carrie shrinks into herself. “One. Two others are new. They, um, make fun of me, like usual. But lately they’ve been making sure I see them. They—” she chokes on a cry building up in her throat, the most heartbreaking sound of Rory’s entire existence that she can’t hear— “they get mean right in front of me. They raised their voices at me during lunch, thinking I can’t tell the difference. They came up behind me during P.E and they scared me. They wrote the worst things in a note in my bag and— and I hate it! I hate them!”

Rory bites down on his lip, teeth digging into soft skin until Rory is sure if he goes any further, blood will rush out. It’s the only thing keeping the simmering rage from escaping him, from making him yell and demand Carrie tell him each girl’s name and where they lived. Carrie hates it when he gets like that. The terrible line he has to toe, between his feelings and keeping Carrie comfortable, feels impossible when listening to his little sister in pain.

He’s unnervingly quiet as Carrie vents. “I don’t want to go there anymore. I want to go to school with other people like me. I want to go to school where people like me. I want to be somewhere where nobody knows who me and my family are! I don’t want to be somewhere where people know—”

“Wait, family?”

Carrie clutches her hands together in an instant. Her eyes are wide with shock, like she didn’t mean to let the words slip out.

Rory narrows his eyes. “Carrie. What are they saying about us?” he presses.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Carrie,” Rory emphasizes her sign name with a tight movement. “Tell me, please.”

“I’m done talking! Stop it!” Carrie shuts down the conversation, clenching her eyes tightly when Rory tries to talk to her. She rolls onto her back and pins her hands to the sides of her body, shaking her head from side to side.

Carrie has never spoken to him like this. Rory’s heart pounds a mile a minute as he stares at her, mind racing with the worst of thoughts.

Fuck what are they saying what could they be possibly saying about me? What are they saying to her never seen her react this way is it getting worse how much worse? Need to ask if she has the note I need to fucking bring this up to the school I need to find those girls I need to find their parents. Need to make some complaints need to make a scene it’s the only way to get anywhere in this fucking shithole. They must be saying something about us, something about the family, about me. No no no Rory it’s about her it’s about Carrie she’s the one being bullied, it’s her it’s her she’s hurting she’s hurting so fucking much why aren’t you doing anything do something anything for fucks sake you worthless piece of shit goddamn it ignore that!

Rory shakes his head to rid himself of his thoughts. He searches for anything to focus his mind on instead. His eyes sweep down from Carrie’s shut eyes down to the hand on her side. It’s balled up into a fist once again, denying any sense of continuing any conversation with Rory.

Rory can’t help himself. He takes his hand and snakes it towards Carrie’s. His long, thin fingers gently pry open her fingers until he could slip his hand into her small, delicate palm. Carrie does not respond. Her eyes are closed, her hand loosening enough for Rory to hold, but she does not hold his hand back.

Though his heart aches at the rejection, Rory takes it head-on. His fingers trace along her clammy palm until he opens it up, completely flat. He arranges his fingers in a particular pattern, with his pinkie, index, and thumb rising up while his ring and middle fingers fold down. He presses this sign into Carrie’s hand harder than he intends to, frantic, longing for her to feel the emotions he felt in this one sign: “I love you.”

There is reluctance in Carrie’s fingers when they first close down on Rory’s index. But when she feels the two folded fingers, her hand closes down on Rory’s hand fully, feeling around the sign without actually looking down at it. Every pass of her fingertips around Rory’s own makes her body tense up, her chest rise, her shoulders shake, until it crescendos into the smallest, weakest sob a girl can release.

Rory closes his eyes and keeps his hand in Carrie’s palm. He feels her fingers loosely circling his knuckles when he unfurls his hand and pulls away from her. She needs some time alone, he convinces himself; even when her quiet cries and goldfinch songs haunt his mind. His hand retracts from hers, resting by his side similar to Carrie.

Not a second goes by before Carrie clamours to grab Rory’s hand. Her grip is tight on his sweaty palms when she presses “I love you” into his skin. She shoves her hand deep into his palm with a fervour that matches Rory’s. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” Carrie emphasizes by swaying her hand in Rory’s.

Rory opens his eyes to look at Carrie and the first thing he notices is that a tear has fallen from his eye. He feels the teardrop rolling down his cheek, and he blinks hard to hold back anymore tears. What kind of strong, older brother is he if he cries in front of his little sister all the time? Surely, he can bottle it up tightly this time. He can hold the tears back and release them later, where she doesn’t have to see him.

Then he sees Carrie lying on her side, looking back at him, tears streaming down her reddened cheeks. And Rory cracks.

“Oh, Care Bear,” Rory whispers, signing his words as he speaks them out loud. He reaches his hand towards Carrie’s face and gently wipes away her tears with his thumb. His caress is uncharacteristically soft; a special compassion reserved only for his sister. Carrie matches his action, wiping away Rory’s own rolling tears, and Rory knows she feels the same.

When his thumb has cleared most of her tears, he pulls away to talk. “I’m gonna look into those schools, okay?” he promises. Carrie’s face lightens up, a dim glimmer of hope, but he interjects, “Look, I can’t guarantee that I will get you out of there immediately. I don’t know how it’ll fly with Mom and Dad, or how long the process would be. But I’ll figure it out. Even if it's further away, I’ll figure it out. I will get you out of there. Okay?”

Carrie does what she does best: she smiles. She smiles through her tears, so wide that it pokes dimples into her red cheeks, so bright it outshines the last tongues of sunlight peeking through the blinds. Rory stares at that smile and wishes he had what she did. “Thank you,” Carrie cries. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She throws her arms around Rory’s shoulders, her body on top of his upper body as she sobs into his neck. Rory hugs her back with all his might and wishes that could make everything better.

They can’t talk to each other like this. Not when they’re so close, not when their arms are preoccupied with clinging to each other like they are the only things in existence. But as they cradle one another in their arms, their heartbeats so prominent in their chests, talking is not a thought in their mind. Every shift in their grip, every rise and fall of their chest, every tear dry on their cheek, communicates their message just as loud as talking. Perhaps it is even louder.

Carrie is the one to break the spell. She lifts her head from the crook of Rory’s neck and looks down at him. Her eyes are red and puffy, but when she wipes her face, no fresh tears flow from her eyes. She tears herself away from Rory’s embrace, but only so she can return to laying on her side. “More comfortable on the floor,” she explains.

“I thought you weren't a baby anymore,” Rory teases. Carrie lets a quiet grumble and a roll of the eyes respond for her.

Rory reaches and brushes Carrie’s short, blonde hair towards the back of her head, feeling the choppy strands slip past his fingers with ease. He rests his hand on the back of her head, staring into her eyes with love, then cranes his head to plant a loving kiss on her forehead.

Immediately, Carrie gasps, her face blooming pink and red. “Rory!! I’m in middle school now, I’m really not a baby!” she insists, embarrassment exuding off of her exaggerated signs. She covers her face, as if that could stop Rory’s kiss from hitting her skin, leaving enough room through her fingers so she can peek at Rory.

“You’re still my little sister,” Rory laughs. A genuine laugh. He kisses another section of her head that her fingers couldn't quite cover, and she squeaks in embarrassment. “Loser,” he adds. Carrie swats his hands when he says that, whining loudly that he would say such a thing. Rory is not insulted; he went through this phase before. Worth it.

A door swinging open interrupts their season of laughter, and the choir of cicada calls pouring in.

Rory sits himself up, suddenly becoming aware of the sweat on his body once again. He wipes it off of his temple as he stares at the person who interrupts his time with Carrie.

“Candy” stares at her children on the floor and signs a sloppy “hello” at them. Rory and Carrie silently return the greeting, watching as she kicks the door closed behind her and walks past them, towards the couch across from their spot on the floor. Exhaustion seeps into the carpeted floor, staining it so clearly that Rory notices his own lack of energy hits him once again. Carrie seems equally drained, her smile faltering.

The mother collapses onto the couch, her arms and legs spilling across the couch. “Rory, did you make dinner?” their mother questions through voice, and voice alone. Rory glances down at Carrie, who glances back with a knowing look. He translates his mother’s question before he answers, in English and in ASL, “No, I didn’t. Sorry.”

A sigh escapes their mother’s lips. It is long and drawn out, but it is not disingenuous or even frustrating. “I’ll cook tonight, dear. What do you want? Could you ask Carrie?” she asks. One hand drapes across her waist, the other dangles off the couch. Motionless.

Rory repeats the question to Carrie.

“Just spaghetti is okay,” she says, although she looks a little disappointed.

Rory repeats the answer to their mom.

“Oh, thank God. I can do that,” the Mancer mother says. She closes her eyes and sinks further into the beaten-up cushions. Her long, dulled blonde hair does not catch the light how Carrie’s does. It looks more like Rory’s hair. Looking at it, Rory can’t find it in him to be mad at her. “Yes, yes. Five minutes, though. Please. Need time to rest. Then I can cook. I can do that, I can do that…” Rory translates their mom’s droning hums. Carrie’s eyes gloss over his hands. All there is left in her eyes is an empty dissatisfaction.

The Mancer household is miraculously still. Two children laying on the floor now, the mother on the couch. Summer sweat and Soul-sucking duties drain the Mancers until all is quiet.

Rory breaks the silence by getting up. “I need to change,” he tells Carrie. He’s getting sick of the sticky, sweaty fabric clinging to him in places he’d rather they not stick to.

Carrie gets up with him. She clings to his uniform shirt to steady herself, her thin legs wobbling as she stands up. “I’m going to my room.” She pauses, then leans against Rory. Rory wraps his arm around her shoulder and hums. He knows she likes it when he does that.

Rory and Carrie begin to make their way to their rooms, down the hall, where Rory will take a left towards the basement and Carrie will take a right towards the second floor.

“Wait!”

Rory turns back to the mother, tapping Carrie on the shoulder so she can do the same.

Mom is still laying on the couch, but she has her upper body propped up on the armrest of the couch to better face her kids. She flashes a weak but genuine smile. She raises her right hand and folds down her ring and middle finger. “I love you,” she whispers, just loud enough for Rory to hear you, swaying the sign from side-to-side. Rory and Carrie repeat it, a silent chorus of I love you, I love you, I love you.

Mary, not “Candy” or “baby” or any other name, drops her arm onto her chest, then wraps her other arm over it. Oh, Mother Mary, she closes her eyes and rests with her arms hugging herself. It looks just like the sign for love.

Rory tears his gaze away from his tired mother and towards his sister. “See you at dinner,” Rory says.

Carrie raises her hands as if to talk, but she stalls. Rory raises a brow. He waits for her to admit something tragic. He waits for her to drop some bombshell on him, like her worries about school, her worries about life, or what those kids at school were saying to her about their goddamn family. As if, somehow, that could given him closure to the conversation they just had.

Carrie wraps her arms around Rory in a quick hug, pulling away right as he is about to hug her back. “Thank you, again.”

This is fine, too. Rory lets out a sigh of relief. “It’s no problem,” he assures. “Anything for you.”

Carrie waves goodbye with her small hand. She turns and walks down to the stairwell on the other side of the hallway, and she ascends to her room on the upper floor.

Rory stands in the hallway, staring down where Carrie left, hands up to talk to no one in particular. He looks towards his mom as she rests on the couch and only then does he decide to go down. He descends into the hot basement with a heavy heart, Carrie’s terrifying words still weighing on him.

Surely Rory can make Carrie’s life better, can’t he?

What a stupid question. Of course he can. That’s what good older brothers do.

Holed up in the depths of the Mancer house, Rory lies on his bed, and finds that he can’t hear the goldfinches and cicadas of the world above. Carrie, up in her room, shall never hear them at all.

#yiik #yiik: a postmodern rpg #rory mancer #carrie mancer #candy mancer #SOMEBODY SEDATE ME.#my writing

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