candy caned |dom!eddie munson x sub!reader|
prompt: you’re desperate to make eddie’s trailer more festive for the holidays. you bring over decorations, but eddie is only interested in one- a long, plastic candy cane.
apart of the twelve days of dom!eddie's christmas
contains: smut. 18+. dom/sub themes, hints at brat tamer/brat themes. spanking with implements (candy cane lol). role play-ish?? not really established but kinda alluded to it a little. aftercare. minors dni, read at your own discretion.
A cloud of smoke left Eddie’s lips, corners of his mouth pulling up into a half lipped smirk. Your car propelled over the gravel of the trailer park’s makeshift road, a playful beep of your horn. Eddie gave a small laugh, the air in front of him clouding at the contrast. He could hear the droning of George Michael’s Last Christmas, muffled from your car stereo but a reminder of why you were here.
Eddie bummed the cigarette when you turned off the ignition, the radio silencing but that didn’t stop you. “Last Christmas, I gave you my heeearrrttt.” Your door swung open, voice trilling out into the quiet, rainy park. Eddie grinned, shoving his hands in his utility jacket, starting down the groaning steps of his trailer.
“But the very next day,” You wiggled your brows at Eddie playfully, a toothy grin on your face that made his chest fill with a surge of heat. “C’mon, Ed, you know it!” You pouted playfully.
“Yeah, I do. Everyone on planet fuckin’ Earth knows it.” Eddie snorted, heavy work boots nudging your own Sorels. His hands found your cheek, pressing a soft, full lipped kiss to your warm skin. The nicotine on his breath made your head spin, melting into his touch.
Eddie’s lips quirked, fighting back a smile. “Still not singing it, though.” He muttered, fingers squishing your cheeks together playfully, pivoting towards your trunk.
The huff you gave did make him grin. “Such a Scrooge.” You clicked your tongue in disapproval. “No holiday spirit at all.”
Eddie waited by the trunk, eyes shining in amusement while you unlocked your trunk. His eyes widened, gaping at you in disbelief. “You’re shitting me.”
“What?” You frowned, reaching for the bundle of lights, tangled from the half-hearted place in your apartment’s pitiful storage.
“Baby,” Eddie blinked, positively confounded. When you’d suggested bringing some decorations over, he expected a few knick-knacks, maybe a tiny tree. Not the trunk full of Christmas decor, looking like something straight out of a Macy’s display window he’d pass in the city.
“There’s… This is a lot.” Eddie tried not to sound as horrified as he felt.
You frowned at him over your shoulder, hauling the tote bag with your Zellers Christmas Village in it over your arm. “You said you didn’t have anything.”
“I don’t.” Eddie nodded, scanning over the tubs- tubs, plural- of ornaments. “But-But you didn’t have to bring all of this. What about your place?”
You rolled your eyes lightly. “I barely stay there.” It was true, you’d slowly migrated into Eddie’s space over the months, staying more and more. “And you have more space. More decorating room.” The smile you gave him was bright, dazzling and excited.
Eddie’s was… less enthusiastic, a mix between a grimace and dread. Still, he grabbed the box of stacked ornaments, the glass rattling as he walked up the stairs, following your giddy steps into the trailer.
“No! Not so close to the edge!” You shrieked, Eddie nearly dropping the snowman figurine in his hand.
He’d been a good sport, he really had. Eddie didn’t complain when you handed him the tangled lights. He kept his snarky comments to himself when you had him fluff out the tree branches to the plastic tree. He’d come close to snapping when you busted out the Elvis Christmas album, but he didn’t- he tuned it out, focused on anything else.
The trailer was transformed, a Christmas wonderland, complete with the final touches of the snowmen and Santas on the window ledge. You pushed the snowman back, tilting it to your satisfaction, nodding with approval.
Eddie let you. The two of you had established a ‘system’- he’d put it out, and you went behind him and fixed it how you wanted it. “What about these, baby?” Eddie hummed, picking up the bundle of plastic, long candy canes. “These go on the tree?”
“No,” You shook your head, placing the last figurine on the window. “They go outside. We can do them when it’s not raining.”
Eddie turned the candy canes around in his hand, thin and spindly, intertwined plastic red and white that were long. He pulled one out by the hook, shaking it gently- testing it. Eddie brought it down, the swoosh whistling just barely over the music from his boombox.
“Don’t break them.” You frowned, twisting an ornament so it faced forward. “Just put them to the side. We can do them tomorrow if you want.”
Eddie stayed quiet, brows pinched together, tongue rolling over the inside of his cheek. You paused, watching him carefully as he studied the cane.
“You know what?” Eddie hummed, his eyes still on the red and white cane in his hand. “I think I have an idea.”
“What?” You looked at him, scanning the room for any spare place for the decoration.
“I can think of something better to do with this.” Eddie’s lips curled, intriguingly dark. “It would really get me in this whole most wonderful time of the year mood.” His tone animated, dark and mocking the way it was when he played DND with his friends, when they were about to be presented with a dangerous risk of a choice. It made your heart skip.
“What?” You repeated, brow quipping, waving your hand for him to continue.
Eddie’s eyes lit up, twinkling with excitement under the glow of the colorful strands on the tree. He lifted the cane, cutting it through the air with a satisfied swish!, holding your gaze with a darkened look of desire.
Your tummy flipped, heat rushing through your core, thighs pressing together at the insinuation.
Eddie lifted a brow. “Think you need it. Probably on the naughty list. Aren’t ya, baby?” He purred, spinning the cane in his hand. You squirmed under his gaze, fidgeting with the sleeves of your sweater.
“‘M not.” You shuddered, shrinking under Eddie’s greedy gaze. “I’ve been very good this year.”
Eddie sucked in a dramatic breath through his teeth, stalking towards you until he was towering over you. “Hmm, that’s not what I heard, sweetheart.” Eddie muttered, nose nearly touching yours.
Your knees tightened, wobbling with excitement. “Good news is,” Eddie started, letting the candy cane slide through his hands, brushing over your own. “It’s not too late. Can correct you now. Teach you a lesson and make sure you’ll be extra good.”
This wasn’t exactly what you were expecting after decorating. You had hoped the decor would maybe bring some holiday spirit to Eddie, and in a way… it did?
“I want to be a good girl.” You squeaked, tiny and breathy tone that had Eddie’s cock twitching in his jeans.
“Yeah? I can tell.” Eddie nodded, hands clamping around the plastic decoration. “I can make sure you are.” Eddie’s hand reached for your jaw, fingers splaying over your cheeks, pulling your gaze to him. “You just gotta ask me.”
You whimpered behind closed lips, the throb between your legs growing and growing. Eddie tilted his head, curls silhouetted by the tree’s lights. He looked nearly angelic, so pretty- it was so deceiving.
“C’mon,” Eddie rasped, thumb stroking over your cheekbone delicately. “Ask me to help you be a good girl.”
You squirmed in his touch, eyes casting down. His hand caught your jaw quickly, pulling your gaze to him. “Please…” You swallowed, heart thumping from the thrill of anticipation. “Please, help me be a good girl? I wanna be a good girl.”
Eddie smiled, satisfied. A gentle, affectionate squeeze to your cheeks. “Alright, I’ll help you.” He nodded, stepping back from you. His arms crossed over his chest, candy cane in his left hand, dangling loosely in his grasp.
“Strip for me.” Eddie nodded, tongue running down his cheek, taking in your frame. Your red sweater, cropped and positively festive.
Your hands quaked with anticipation, unbuttoning your jeans carefully, shoving them so they pooled at your sock clad feet. Eddie watched you, leaning cooly against the couch, eyes roaming your frame until you were just in a high cut, cotton thong and lacy bra- his favorite. He had helped you pick it out, snuck in the dressing room when the snobby lingerie store manager stepped away so you could model it for him.
You looked at him, arms down by your sides, the way he’d taught you to. Eddie lifted a brow, head bobbing at you. “C’mon, keep going.”
“All of it?” You whined. “Eddie, can I keep my panties on please? You know I hate the cane-”
“-All of it.” Eddie snapped firmly. “You wanna be good? You’re not acting like you wanna be good. Still acting like a brat. Still acting like a naughty girl.”
Heat rushed to your cheeks, lip jutting out in a pout that had Eddie’s abs clenching at the throb in his cock. You knew what you were doing, giving him your most pitiful, pouty look to drive Eddie wild. It was working.
Eddie’s brow lifted, a final warning that he was done arguing, eyes flicking down to your panties, heart skipping when your fingers hooked around them, pulling them slowly down your legs.
Your hands found your sides again, palms twitching with excitement, smoothing down the top of your bare thighs. Eddie waited until your eyes lifted to his, holding your gaze for just a touch too long- long enough to have you squirming with anticipation.
“Bend over the couch for me. Hands in front.” Eddie nodded, his voice dropping into that dark rasp it always did when he’d step into this domineering role with you.
The faded green carpet lacked it’s usual softness, coated with glitter from the decor and you hadn’t got a chance to vacuum yet. The usual crocheted blanket was folded over the arm of the couch, a reindeer throw pillow next to it. You set the pillow in front of you, so you’d have something to grab onto, bending over the arm of the couch.
Your eyes stayed forward, Eddie’s hum of approval muffled out by his heavy soled footsteps moving closer to you. “Hm, how many strokes does a naughty girl deserve?” Eddie sighed animatedly. He was putting on a show for you, for him too.
“What do you think?” Eddie tapped the side of your hip lightly with the cane, dragging the cool plastic over your ass.
You shuddered, the hook of the candy cane ghosting over the crack of your cheeks. “I don’t know, sir.” You grit, eyes closing, fighting the quake in your voice. “Three?”
“Three?” Eddie scoffed, halting his movements, the hook side of the cane pressed against the fatty flesh under your ass. “Try again, sweetheart.”
“I don’t know.” You whined, toes wiggling into the carpet. You were throbbing, dizzy with the desire for Eddie to touch you, spank you, fuck you- do something to you.
“Hm, better watch it, naughty girl.” Eddie hissed, eyes narrowed in on your ass. He pressed the cane up, lifting your cheek so he could sneak a peek at your puffy lips, already slick with your own arousal. “Can see why you got on the naughty list. Little bratty thing, aren’t ya?”
“‘M not.” You pouted, chin dropping into your outstretched arms.
“Oh, I don’t think that’s true.” Eddie tsked, the cane moving closer and closer to your pussy. “And I think you should get a stroke for every month you were naughty this year. Twelve.”
You squirmed, hips wiggling and rocking in place. Eddie grinned, smoothing a hand over your spine. You jumped, relaxing under the familiar touch. “How’s that sound?” Eddie muttered, tapping your shoulder blade gently.
You turned back, chin hooking on your shoulder to meet his gaze. “Twelve?” Eddie asked, his hand still rubbing over your spine soothingly, like he did every night to lull you to sleep.
It made your heart swell with a warmth that had your cheeks burning with tingly heat. “Yeah.” You whispered, squeaking at the small squeeze Eddie gave your hip.
Eddie’s hand rubbed back down your spine, setting the candy cane on your upturned ass, shedding his sweatshirt slowly. “Think you’ll remember to be good this year after this?” Eddie questioned, tossing his sweatshirt on the chair behind him.
“Yes, sir.”
“You know what happens next year if you’re not good, right? If you’re on the naughty list again?” Eddie grabbed the cane slowly, dragging it over your ass and thighs.
“No, sir, I don’t.” You choked out, clenching the pillow in front of you.
“You get double.” Eddie said surely, bringing the cane down behind you. You felt the air on your skin, knees tightening with expectancy, the lingering threat looming closer and closer. “After that, I’ll just have to come down here every month. Cane you and make sure you get a monthly reminder to be good.”
You whined behind closed lips, hips lifting at the threat. Eddie grinned, lining the candy cane up to your ass. “And believe me, if I have to come down every month, take time outta my schedule to teach you a lesson, I won’t be as nice as this. You better consider yourself lucky this time. Better learn from it.”
“I will.” You panted, arms shaking from how hard you were clenching them. “I’ll be good from now on. I promise.” You sounded so sweet. Tone so airy and pouty and adorable, that tone that made Eddie’s vision blurry with desire.
“Good.” Eddie nodded, tapping the cane against your ass. “I’ll make sure of it. Count ‘em out for me, baby.”
You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath in through your nose. The cane pulled back, a whoosh! filling the air before it was snapping into your skin, a biting sting from the plastic spreading in a line across your cheeks. Your hips jumped, a tiny huff of a whine leaving your lips at the shock. It wasn’t nearly as unpleasant as the wooden cane Eddie used in the past, but still uncomfortable.
“One,” You breathed out through gritted teeth.
Eddie lined up the cane again, higher this time, before it was pulled back and sailing onto your bare skin, harder. Hard enough to have your head snapping up, toes bouncing off the carpet.
“Two!” You squeaked, Eddie’s hand on the small of your spine to steady you.
He watched you carefully. If this was the normal cane, you’d be crying by now- sniffly in the least. He lined it up lower, where your ass met your thighs. He lifted his hand, bringing the cane down with the type of strength he used with his hard soled slipper, hard and quick, pulling the sound he was looking for right out of you.
The yowl, punched straight out of your core, back arching and hips wiggling away. “Ow! Ow! Three!” You hissed, a white knuckled grip on the pillow. Your nose burned, tears brimming in the corner of your eyes now, the sting was searing now, leaving a sizzling sting that had you bouncing from foot to foot.
Eddie smirked in satisfaction, stilling you again with his hand firm on your lower back. “You learning your lesson?” Eddie grunted, the candy cane falling back down again, that white line imprinting your skin before disappearing, your cry following like clockwork.
“Yes!” You whined, and the petulant, bratty foot stomp that followed had Eddie’s cock lurching. “Four!”
“You’re gonna be really good this year, aren’t ya?” Eddie growled.
Swish!
“Yes! I’ll be good! I’ll be good!” You groaned, a watery, pathetic wail. “Five!” You bounced from toe to toe over the couch, hips shaking like you could possibly shake the sting out that way. The ache between your legs was blinding, rivaling the sting growing furiously on your backside.
Another stroke came before you were ready, quicker than the last time but just as unforgivingly searing. You cried out, a bubbling sob that tore from your throat. “You gonna make me do this again? Gonna be on the naughty list again?”
“Noooo,” You cried out. Your face rubbed against your arms, snotty cries from a burning nose and throat that you tried to soothe.
“What number was that?” Eddie tapped the cane lightly against you.
“Six.” You muttered, so pitifully sweet it made Eddie’s heart burst. The sniffle that followed was even more piteous, wet and snotty and somehow still bratty.
“Hm, ‘s not lookin’ great, baby.” Eddie teased, the cane snapping against your sore skin. “Already forgettin’.”
“Se-even.” You sobbed, head pressed into your arms, slack over the couch.
Eddie was nearly drooling, watching the way your hips rocked onto the arm of the couch for friction, catching glimpses of your pussy.
“You wanna be on the nice list.” Eddie nodded, striping you again right across the middle of your ass.
“Eight.”
“You know what nice girls get?” Eddie pressed, watching your shoulders shudder before he caned you, higher this time.
“No!” You hissed, knees buckling and legs quaking after the hit. “Nine.”
“Good girls who are on the nice list,” Eddie leaned forward, hovering over your squirming frame. “Get their pussies eaten out.” You whimpered, hips grinding down harder on the arm of the couch. “They get my tongue used on them as a reward for being so good.”
“Please, Ed, please.” You babbled, throbbing, needy, and your mind already numbed with the overwhelming sensation of pleasure and pain. “Please.”
“Nuh-uh-uh.” Eddie tsked, shaking his head at you. “You haven’t been good.” His hand rubbed over the hot skin of your ass, tickling just above your hidden pussy, grinning at the whine you gave. You stomped, huffing into the couch. There she was, the little brat he loved to play with.
“If you were good,” Eddie grunted, swinging the cane back and forward into your burning skin. You wailed, hand slapping into the couch, clawing at the cushion to keep yourself from reaching back. “You’d get eaten out.”
“T-Ten.” You whimpered, a pouty sound. Eddie could practically see your face- brows creased in a frown, lip jutted, tear stained cheeks and a runny nose.
“I’d use my tongue on you,” Eddie purred. You whined, nasally and desperate, hips swiveling down for friction. “I’d make you cum over and over and over.”
You gasped when the cane cut into your ass with an unforgiving snap, an inflamed imprint left in its wake. “Eleven.”
“I’d even let you sit on my face so you could grind down just like that.” Eddie teased, tapping your rocking hips with the cane lightly. “Let you do that on my face instead of on the couch, rubbing your pussy all over my couch like that when you’re getting spanked. Seems awfully naughty, if you ask me.” He tutted.
Your toes curled, his words were cruel, teasing, made your body burn with embarrassed heat- yet you were so close.
“I don’t think you’re gonna be very good this year. Don’t know if I believe you.” Eddie shook his head. “You’re supposed to be getting punished, not enjoying this.”
“I-I’m not.” You panted, shaking your head furiously.
“You’re not?” Eddie scoffed, setting the cane to rest on your ass. His hand dipped between your thighs, fingertips sliding through your sopping folds easily, smirking at the gasp that tore from your throat.
Eddie’s finger sunk into your soaking hole, pumping in and out at an agonizingly slow pace that had your head lifting, eyes pinched in pleasure. You were close, he could feel it, feel it in the way you clenched and strangled around his finger. He pulled away just as quickly as he put them in, your eyes flying open at the loss.
“What-”
“Look at this,” Eddie commanded, his fingers coated with your sticky arousal, pointer and middle finger spreading, webs of your slick forming with ever widening of his fingers. “You think someone not enjoying this would have that? Hm? Look at it.”
Your cheeks were scorching with heat, lifting your gaze shyly to his dangling fingers in front of your face, shaking your head lightly.
Eddie hummed in satisfaction, pulling his hand back, wiping your release over your burning ass. You yelped, jumping at the burn of his touch on your sore skin. Eddie’s lips curled, grabbing the candy cane off your hips.
“Last one.” Eddie muttered, lining the festive decoration up against your skin, tapping gently. “You ready, baby?”
“‘M ready.” You sighed, cheek pressed into your outstretched arms.
Eddie was sure he was about to bust at the sight of you- glassy eyed, sniffling lightly, whimpering with every roll of your hips. Oh, it was too fuckin’ much.
Eddie brought the cane down hard- hard enough he thought it might snap in half. The final blow that had you gasping, a strangled whine huffing out of your chest in a gasping heave before your body tensed, quivering at the sensation the impact left.
“T-Twelve.” You whimpered, cheek pressed against your arm, so spacy in ecstasy you were dribbling out of the corner of your mouth.
Your ass was stinging with that itchy, red-hot irritation that had you desperate to rub it out, only you knew it would only make the ache worse. You were throbbing between the legs, slick and frustrated, desperate for him to touch you.
Eddie’s hand skated in a feather light touch over your ass, passing so delicately over each of your lips, coated with your own slickness. “You learned your lesson?” Eddie hummed, swallowing the spit that filled his mouth at the sight of you, presented so perfectly over the arm of the couch for him- for him to fuck you.
“Ready to be a good girl? Be on the nice list?” His hand didn’t stop, sliding down the inside of your thigh, pushing lightly so you’d spread your legs.
“Yeah,” You sighed, airy and a little pouty, cheek still pressed to the couch pillow.
“Yeah? Look at me, baby.” Eddie patted your thigh gently, hovering over you.
You blinked, looking up at him with sweet, glassy, rounded eyes. “You alright?” Eddie asked, scanning your features carefully, testing the waters of where you were.
“Yeah.” You hummed, lip jutting ever so lightly. “I’ll be good now.”
“I know you will.” Eddie nodded. “Are you alright? You with me, baby?”
“Yeah.” You nodded, shimmying your body so it contorted and angled towards him. “I’m ready to be good, so you can fuck me now.” The bluntness of your words mixed with the light, breathy tone, so deceivingly sweet- it made Eddie’s head spin.
“Yeah?” He grinned, dimples creasing. “I was gettin’ to that, baby.”
“You can get to it now.” You hummed, slipping out of that hazy fog that he always got you in, back into your bratty ways. Eddie’s lips twitched, biting back a smirk. “‘M ready for it. I’ll be really good this year.”
“Alright, you earned it, I guess.” Eddie teased, pulling you by the small of your waist back up the arm of the couch. “How you want me, babe? This good?”
“Yeah, just let me-” You snatched the pillow in front of you, pushing it under your chest. “Ready.”
“You sure are, holy shit.” Eddie muttered, eyes glued to your parted thighs, your sopping cunt making his head reel at the sight. “You gonna be a good girl? Be my good girl?”
“Yes,” You whine, hips wiggling back further to him. “I’ll be good, so good, please.”
Eddie slipped two fingers into your sopping hole, pumping in and out just as slow as before. Your toes curled, body jolting with that euphoric, white hot bolts of pleasure. A small whine, quiet but pathetically desperate slipped from your lips.
Another whine followed, huffier this time, more demanding. “Alright, alright, I gotcha.” Eddie gritted, pumping his shaft slowly, smearing his own pre-leakages over his head, down his shaft. “I gotcha. Relax, baby.”
Your vision blurred at the feeling of him pushing into you, that achingly familiar stretch, your walls tightening with every slow roll of his hips further and further into you. Your ass was raw with the still fresh strokes of the cane, Eddie’s hips and groin snapping into the irritated skin with a purposeful punch of his cock inside of you.
Tears brimmed your eyes, of pleasure or pain or both, you weren’t really sure. The sensation was enough to have you mindless, cheek smushed into the couch cushion, whimpering. “Fuck, you gonna be my good girl? Be my-my nice girl?” Eddie hissed, eyes half-lidded, hypnotized by the sight of your pussy swallowing his cock with every roll of his hips.
“Yeah.” You whined, a ghosting of a whimper tailing on your words.
“Yeah.” Eddie grunted in a mocking tone, fingers sinking into the fat of your hips. “Holy fuck, you feel so fuckin’ good. You know that? ‘Course you know that. This feel good? Am I makin’ you feel good, baby?” His hand fell on your ass, a stinging hand print left in its wake on your already sensitive skin.
You yelped, head snapping up at the impact, red manicured nails curling around the needlepoint pillow, grappling at the loopy stitches while Eddie plowed into you from the back. Fingers bruising your hips and waist from the way Eddie was using your body to fuck himself, until he finally halted, heavy breathing gasps of pleasure. He pulled out, a thick stream of his own release drooling out of you and towards the faded floral upholstery.
Somehow, the lights on the trees and strung along the walls seemed brighter now, with you curled into his neck. Eddie blew the smoke away from you, towards the chilly night air that crept in from the open window.
“I think I kinda get it.” Eddie muttered, a hand rubbing down your back soothingly, pulling you out of your post orgasm hazy state. You hummed, nuzzling into his chest, curling into his body for warmth from the breeze that swept in. “Get why you like all this stuff.”
You lifted your gaze, eyes still glowing with the remnants of emotion, but rounding in the sweetest way. “Yeah? You gettin’ in the spirit, Munson?” You giggled softly.
Eddie snorted lightly, rolling the cigarette between his pointer and thumb over the ashtray. “Maybe.” He shrugged. “You lettin’ me spank you with a candy cane really got me in the spirit, babe.” You laughed, head dropping to his shoulder, eyes batting up at his.
The candy canes lined the path to Eddie’s trailer the next day. You helped him put them out in the freezing cold, occasionally rubbing your tender ass when he’d swish the decoration playfully, eyes dark and dazzling at you. One lone candy cane stayed inside, hanging on Eddie’s bedroom door knob to make it look more festive, or so he said.
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Dreamland II: Golf Clubs, Diana Fowley, and Mulder's Father
(Courtesy of: @theparadigmshifts)
Dedicated to @goodshipsmulder~
I started out this post trying to draw parallels between Mulder's golf clubs and his past relationship with Diana. Yet, nothing about the Fowl One screamed "golf" or even upper-class country club to me; not enough, at least, for Mulder to spend money on and continually reuse a pair of clubs at her insistence.
However, I stumbled into another entirely other theory-- one that connects directly back to the late Bill Mulder.
Here we go~
DIANA FOWLEY, GOLF CLUBS, AND ORIGINAL THEORIES
Diana Fowley and golfing don't seem to fit in the same sentence: ease and relaxed calculation doesn't quite jive with bold and determined manipulation.
She's career driven: her work ethic caught the eye of the Consortium either before or after she and Mulder discovered the X-Files; and she took trips back and forth from Europe to Tunisia weekly to report her findings. Not to mention, she and Mulder were partners during his first couple months to first year on the files (if my timeline is accurate), and she's shone to fix his singular focus more firmly to "the work" in service of her own end goals. Diana's compliments and wheedling in The End imply she's not slackened her pace years later, and that she believes she can pick right up where Scully left off and do more and do it better.
Perhaps she and Phoebe Green were sporty types, more inclined to low cardio workouts to keep active and in shape. This would be an interesting juxtaposition to Scully (a tomboy Navy brat who had better things to do than hit horsehide with a stick); meaning, she lacked the sporty inclination of Mulder's previous exes.
Or, perhaps, the golf clubs are another manifestation of Mulder's fleeting interests after moving back stateside. Perhaps he took it up briefly, memories of his blueblood years leading him to that low impact sport first before he switched to swimming (maybe golfing was too mind numbing or it wasn't mind-numbing enough with other people interrupting his focus.)
Perhaps he took it up because Diana suggested it; or maybe he was trying to "find himself" in the wake of Phoebe cheating or Diana leaving.
However, speculations with maximum Fowley influence don't quite fit into the timeline suggested by the room's "design."
WHAT WE KNOW
(Courtesy of: @amplifyme)
What we do know is: the bed had to be the first neglected item in this room, surrounded as it is by piles of boxes, knickknacks, and junk. The golf clubs were a more recent addition-- more to the front of the line-- and look older and used. There is also upturned plastic totes, old boxes separate from the neat storage boxes in the back, a basketball hoop, a punching bag, a bowling pin-- all a bit used-- and Cougar's sports memorabilia, as well as fuzzy dice, a flat bat or rowing paddle, and newer magazines and file folders.
The bedframe is blocked in by boxes and junk on three of its sides, meaning it was the first item placed into this room. Next to it are boxes stacked professionally, and high. It's unlikely that Mulder would have done so neat a job. And the overturned totes, sports gear, and assorted mess are more recent additions-- hastily packed or thrown together, toppling and spilling out easily with one swing of the door: in other words, Mulder's work.
Thus, the stages are revealed.
The bedframe was placed first; at an undisclosed time later, the boxes were professionally placed around it; and at an undisclosed time after that, Mulder chucked in at least two totes, a lamp (he wedged into the second layer of boxes), fuzzy dice, and sports gear on top of a pullout or loveseat or fabric chair. The golf clubs fall into that addition. And lastly but also undisclosed (and likely on-going), he stuffed in light, assorted papers or shirts or whathaveyou he was too lazy to put away properly right then.
Let's break this down in layers.
EXAMINING THE EVIDENCE: BEDFRAME, BOXES, AND TIMELINES
The bedframe and boxes must be tackled first.
His bedframe is empty (though intact) and neatly set aside in the corner of the room. That seems to be stage one of unpacking and rearranging-- meaning, in my opinion, Mulder crammed the boxes in right after his and Diana's relationship ended. Mulder chooses smaller spaces to sleep (the couch, the bed he bought after Monday); and he also tends to collect but never unpack his hoarded loot. Those boxes can't be casefiles from the FBI since they'd never let him keep them longer than required for a case; and his most treasured valuables are kept in the basement, anyway. Leaving one to believe they're his belongings: things he brought over from Oxford (if he did) or things he bought after moving out of the dorms.
And when was Mulder no longer living in dorm rooms? Post his education, likely around the time he and Diana were dating.
Two theories present themselves: Mulder's things were moved from Diana's apartment after she left, and he never unpacked them; or Mulder himself recently moved into this apartment after Diana left.
The latter would have to mean he had somewhere else to live for the five years he and she were together. However, there's a few in-canon points that negate this theory, broadly pointing to a close or working relationship that spanned two apartments rather than one house:
Mulder tells Scully in Home that if he could "settle down" it'd be "in a place like this." Settling down, in his case, meant the home as well as the environment-- living in that location with those people in that kind of a house was still a fantasy without any tempered reality. Mulder would have lived in his parents' home on the Vineyard then in dorms in Oxford and back in other dorms in the States. Afterwards, the commute to the FBI would have excluded a house if in included his focus; and both he and Diana were very focused on work back then. To Mulder, owning a house was still a fantasy, not yet a practical reality, something he associated fondly with better days and better dreams for the future.
On top of that, Mulder is out of place in houses or suburbia, neither fitting in nor feeling in his own skin when prancing about in Arcadia. Yes, he was proving a point to the neighbors (and to Scully); but he wasn't comfortable there: it was too much, too spacious, too empty; and he found corners to wedge himself into-- hopping up on cabinets, hedging himself in with pillows, cramming in a chair up close to the door instead of other manners of surveillance, etc. (That's an entirely other meta post.) Mulder displayed discomfort above and beyond "proving a point": he wasn't used to the "stereotypical American life"-- he was weirded out by the austere space of it.
Mulder is further unsettled by suburbia in Amor Fati: in that case, he has command of his actions (to an extent), doesn't have to play to "the rules", has his sister, and is (seemingly) largely in charge of his life. And yet, it's "too perfect", leaving him to wonder why he's there. Mulder wasn't surprised to see Diana sweep in and seduce him (post here)-- he was shocked when she not only embraced a slower-paced life but wanted to also further domesticate it.
In Mulder's mind, settling down included a home and kids-- whether it was he and his sister riding bikes and eating bologna sandwiches or a distorted view of Diana wanting his babies and raising his sons-- and a rest from constantly running. Permanence. He looked upon it whimsically, not cynically or longingly like he would if he'd tried his best at that vision and failed (i.e. bought a home, had a "life", and lost it to work.)
In evidence of this, Mulder is shocked when Diana returns-- but not hardened against her or drawn back into a life with her. There are no ties beyond the past; and those ties weren't definitive enough for him to have closure or even completely sever, a classic Mulder move. There were five years between them; but nothing that would jeopardize or taint the idealistic world Mulder is trying to bring to fruition by recovering his sister and restoring that happy homelife lost to her abduction.
So, what does that mean for the bed and boxes? When Diana left, she probably emptied her apartment and sent over his share of the belongings-- assets of a partial but incomplete merger. Those stayed stored and cluttered around his bed while Mulder philosophically took the couch. They're not enough clutter to have filled a house, but more than enough to spill over into two apartments.
EXAMINING THE EVIDENCE: ASSORTED AND SPORTING ITEMS
But that leaves the clubs, the bowling pin, the basketball hoop, the punching bag, the rest of the etc ceteras, and the totes stacked (read: jammed) frontside.
Compared to the Cougars jersey, the golf clubs, bowling pin, punching bag, basketball hoop, etc., appear older, used, and worn.
Turns out, the Cougars are a Houston football team jersey-- and where were Mulder and Scully recently during the opening events of Fight the Future? Despite not attending yet another football game together, it would be like him to pick up memorabilia that had special significance to him about them. If that be the case, Mulder, it would seem, associates Scully with football. Perhaps she prefers it to other sports (until baseball ranked higher up her list after The Unnatural, that is)-- in fact, that would make sense: part and parcel of the stereotypical, all-American Navy family raised on Thanksgiving meals and afternoon football.
Meanwhile, the golf clubs and other sports gear can't be a recent Mulder purchase-- not only because of their wear and tear, but also because of the extent of their wear and tear in contrast to the general lack of time Mulder has to devote to sports other than a morning swim, a once-in-a-while basketball game, and the sports tv he ingests come rain or shine. We've seen him shoot hoops (Paper Hearts, later Two Fathers), we've even seen him sink a bowling ball dead center (Elegy), but we've never seen him take up golf or boxing.
So, if they aren't recent purchases... what were they?
THE REMNANTS OF CHILDHOOD
Bill Mulder was murdered in Anasazi and buried in The Blessing Way; but his house had to have been cleaned out and sold sometime after his death.
Tena Mulder always avoided peering into the past, avoiding it entirely whenever her son pressed her for memories (and ultimately burning her children's photos in Sein und Zeit to protect its secrets.) That leaves Mulder to pack up and sell or hire to have the house packed up and sold.
I believe the sports equipment was from his childhood. It would explain the wear and tear on the basketball hoop (referred to in a deleted Two Fathers scene here) and the bowling pin, as well as the presence of the unidentified sporting stick and fuzzy dice. (It would also explain why he stuck them with his new magazines and papers.)
But most importantly, I believe the golf clubs were his father's.
Golf requires a particular set of skills: silent calculation, strategic aim, and the ability to reposition oneself if the original swing goes wrong. While Mulder destresses through aggressive play (whether swimming alone or working alongside others he trusts will have his back) and Gibson Praise out predicts his competitor's next move and CSM plays by the blind hand of luck, Bill Mulder retires away from stress, decisions, and consequences, preferring to keep to himself (post here and here.) Preferring not to compete.
Perhaps the punching bag was Bill Mulder's, too: a solitary way to release his pent-up feelings of helplessness and rage.
CONCLUSION: A SEQUENCE OF EVENTS
Diana moves to Europe; and Mulder either moves out of her apartment with the bedframe (minus mattress) and boxes or moves her boxes into his bedroom (and sells the mattress he might not have liked to begin with.)
Years later, his father dies. Mulder, a packrat at heart, can't let go of the happier times he connects with his childhood gear. Tena likely wouldn't want it cluttering up her already cluttered basement; so, he shoves it into his unused bedroom, stuffing them all to the left. In the tote closest to the door, he put his easily retrievable items (i.e. magazines, rumpled shirts, fuzzy dice, a few assorted bats, and miscellaneous filing folders) that he retrieves at will.
After Mulder's return from Houston, he opens the door and chucks in the jersey. However, it disturbs the balance of his haphazard system, beginning an avalanche that he quickly closes the door against. With the door in place, disaster is avoided, for now.
A few months after that, Morris Fletcher flings the door open and watches in appalled indignation as Mulder's junk spills onto the floor.
Thanks for reading~
Enjoy!
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