feel free to explain!

Was in a very specific mood, it’s the summer and I keep seeing baby animals constantly and now I can’t stop thinking about babies and so here we are

Bonus: on my walk a tiny baby smiled at me and she went past and it made my day 🥺

babes my experience is not universal and blah blah blah but when i bring up how much pain i’m in by using positivity and humour, that is not the time to respond with sympathy and sads. like if i’m joking about it i’m either not ready to be upset about it or i’ve already done being upset about it, you being upset about it for me is just pushing me into that space unnecessarily and kinda makes me feel like i’m not allowed to like? talk? about my day? unless i’m catering to your emotions in the first place.

also, like, just match my energy, the conversation is gonna be way funnier if we’re both joking about it cuz let’s be real bodies are already engineered terribly and there’s something hilarious about mine not even meeting that subpar standard

Season finale spoilers-

Thoughts on why Izzy’s death didn’t really sit right with me.

I really and truly do not like either the “kill your redeemed antagonists” or the “kill your mentors because the mentee has ‘nothing’ left to learn from them” troupes. Now that we have confirmation that the later is what he was going for, it adds an extra layer to the death, and that’s that

Izzy was right

Izzy admits in his death speech, and we as the viewer see that part of what drove Izzy to act the way he did in trying to encourage Ed to be Blackbeard is that he was scared of losing Ed, scared he would outlive his usefulness, scared that if he wasn’t helping Blackbeard Ed wouldn’t need him, and with the life he lived, to not be needed is to be dead. Those who outlive their usefulness get sent to doggy heaven. It felt like his arc this season was about proving this wrong. That he didn’t need to useful to Ed to deserve to live. That he can find meaning and friendship, if only he lets go of this fear.

And then the writer killed him because he… outlived his usefulness to Ed. To kill a character because you love the “mentor dies when they have nothing left to teach” troupe feels bad when the mentors arc was largely about ‘what do you do when you feel like you aren’t useful anymore in the same way you were. How do you find purpose?’

Maybe some people love this and think it adds to the drama of the death, but it’s really not for me.

just took an edible and ordered four pints of Jeni’s :3

I got super moon, caramel sticky pecan buns, powdered jelly donut, and lemon bar (my all time favorite I think).

sry I haven’t been super active. I have a bunch of shit in my inbox and I apologize to everyone who has sent an ask or submission. I do plan on trying to get thru at least the most recent.

but for now, I’m having a horny evening with ice cream. come hang if u want.

2024 reads / storygraph

Lord of the Empty Isles

sci-fi/fantasy

set on a supposedly utopian planet recovering from a climate crisis, where bonds between people are able to be seen and manipulated (by some people)

follows a young man whose brother was cursed and killed by an infamous outlaw 5 years ago, and he’s finally able to curse him back - but it rebounds, as he’s somehow fatebound to the outlaw

to find a cure and save them both they have to team up, and he quickly finds out that the resources the outlaw is stealing go to the thousands of people neglected on prison planets, and he has to go against what he thought was right to help them

no romance, aroace MC, focus on platonic relationships

arc from netgalley, out june 6

One of my favorite horror tropes, possibly of all time, is “it’s the whole town.” Like, ok, you never consider that your arrival (no gps signal, a popped tire, etc.) was planned. But some smiles are a little too friendly. Holes in the story go conveniently overlooked. Don’t look too closely at the walls. You have more questions than answers and, when you finally turn around, your new friend has fashioned a noose. You call for help, but the medic arrives with a gun. That sinking, icy realization. The butcher, the baker, the mail carrier. The safe-house was built with locks on the outside. The firefighter, the schoolteacher, the neighbor. When “our community” means you are outnumbered. Hunting you takes a village.

Just a heads up that I’m going to be taking a break from making fandom content.

I’m at a point now where I want to express myself and fanart just doesn’t seem to cut it. At one point I’ll come back to doing it but as of right now, I can’t give a time frame for when that will be.

Be patient cause I know when ST5 comes out the Jancy brainrot will return, Trust me on this.

Idk about Scott Pilgrim stuff cause I’m very invested in two characters only and they aren’t very popular (ok Neil’s kinda in the middle tbh, Stacey though no). Also I feel kinda alone in my rarepair. I know there are others but even then I still feel lonely in it. It’s difficult making rarepair stuff and atm I don’t have the energy to continue doing it. Very sorry about that!

I will sometimes make text posts about random headcanons in relation to my ships if I have any cause it’s bound to happen. So fandom stuff won’t be completely gone.

Anyways expect to see some poetry and more original illustrations coming from me. Heck my ocs may end up becoming a big part of my art who knows!

I hope you all can understand. I must let my creative voice scream and give me a chance to figure out who I am more. This is something extremely important to me as a soon to be art major.

I do hope you will all support me in this new era of my blog. Original content isn’t as big as say fandom stuff I know but I do hope you’ll enjoy whatever I make :]

Ok bye! Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Sending hugs if you need one <333333

i’ve been trying to get through hoh for literally like a week now but it’s so hard bc the way my fave nico is treated is absolutely ABYSMAL and i know it only gets worse

So far in BG3 I have two save files and two Tavs, Elio and Lilac. Elio is between acts 1 and 2 (just got done at the créche and monastery,) and Lilac is very early act 1, i haven’t even gotten to the grove with her. Elio is a tiefling draconic bloodline sorcerer, and is a nice and competent young man who rolls decently and helps people where he can. Lilac is a drow bard who once rolled so shittily that I had to reload my save file because I accidentally killed Gale.

Despite never explicitly coming out as transgender/making any indication that I used other pronouns my brother has started to they/them me and it’s a beautiful thing.

Very random rant/ramble incoming ^^;

So… I’ve been playing this dress-up game called Everskies recently.

I dropped it for a few months because of boredom; The minigames you play to get currency are time consuming, repetitive, and generally just not worth your time since the rewards are small. I liked the cosmetics in Everskies but the gameplay was just meh to me. But, I got back into it a few weeks ago and…

I didn’t know this game had a shit ton of drama to it 💀

Like, is this just a requirement for dress-up games? Do they need to have bad devs and an equally bad community?? I don’t get it. I’ve been grinding as best as I can in Everskies only to find out the best way to get the most valuable currency (stars) is gone. Also, adding loot boxes to the game that you can only open with 200 stars right after removing said method to get stars is WILD like what’s the point then?

Not to mention, the team claiming loot boxes aren’t gambling is fucking insane too. Like yes, loot boxes promote gambling. You can’t say they don’t. You don’t know what you’re getting from them and considering the best way to get stars to open them is by buying them with real money…? Yeah. It’s literal gambling. Like, be real for a moment, please.

I swear, this genre of video game is just cursed. At this point, I just pick the lesser evils and try my best to enjoy them by ignoring their flaws. I just wanna dress up my OCs man. I don’t need this shit 😭

Keep thinking about that one scene in my fangan. Yeah I know it’s literally just a concept in my head and I’m treating it like a real scene and it’s really interesting so I may talk about it later. But it’s basically later on where Kayo confessed her (pre kg) murder to Tsubasa, and how it was essentially impulsive and how she got an innocent person arrested for her crime and never confessed. And she starts breaking down over the memory and how she was completely selfish for what she did and could never forgive herself and is constantly consumed by the regret of what she did.

And when Tsubasa forgives her, Kayo gets really angry and calls him stupid for forgiving her as everything she did in the situation was essentially selfish. Tsubasa doesn’t refute what she says. More so saying that her selfish behaviour was more so in self preservation, and the way she acted within the situation, even if it hurt a lot of people, was understandable considering the trauma she went though, and forgives her for that. And Kayo is really shocked by this as she would’ve expected Tsubasa to simply refute her by saying she wasn’t selfish and is a good person at heart because he didn’t lie about how Kayo put herself first in the situation, and rather interpreted it with a different perspective compared to her extremely self loathing view on it. And that almost makes thing better than Tsubasa essentially lying and seeing a new perspective on her crime from someone other than her and especially rather than denying everything she’s saying, makes her confused and freaked out but rooting a new perspective in for what happened.

But even so Kayo gets defensive saying that even so he may view what she did in that way, he doesn’t have full context of the situation and why she did that. And once again Tsubasa agrees saying that is completely true, but from what he has gathered about the situation and his own ideals and beliefs makes him willing to forgive her, even if there are people out there who wouldn’t. And having her emotions actually be validated by someone instead of being denied in order to “help” her is completely new to her after how the rest of the students tried to comfort her after she attempted murder in chapter 1.

And even if Kayo still can’t forgive herself for what she did the fact that someone was willing to see from her perspective after she had done something like that, she just completely broke down for having been truly accepted by someone who was willing to understand her situation. And Tsubasa didn’t advance any more trying to use typical tactics to help her. No hugs, speeches about how you have to forgive herself, just sitting there while Kayo is letting all her emotions out like that, as he knows she is a person who has a lot of boundaries.

yeah so uhhh. Essentially my protagonist has a milgram esq backstory and stuff and this scene is heavily influenced by the themes of forgiveness in Milgram especially when it comes to murder. And Tsubasa’s reaction to her situation is very much how I wish to be treated when I feel like I’ve done something horrible. Not being said I should stop hating myself or I am actually a good person and was acting out. But having my situation empathised with and not denying everything I say, just looking at it from another perspective. I guess why even being from a fangan I’ll probably never make into an actual thing it just sticks out to me so much. As even if I haven’t straight up killed like Kayo did, it’s almost an expression of how I feel when I act out, or get angry, and can’t forgive myself for anything and projecting my personal suffering onto my characters and have them grow as a person and move on is very inspiring to me even if I’m the one writing it. And even if it’s a lot harder to get to that point irl than writing down as a concept

guys i had a rly good first date today :)

2024 reads / storygraph

A Botanical Daughter

historical fantasy

a taxidermist and botanist who live in a greenhouse in a botanical garden, far away from the disapproval of Victorian London

when they receive a shipment of a strange sentient fungi, they cultivate it inside a corpse of a recently murdered girl - who was the best friend/lover of their new housekeeper

as she grows and expands her desires they have to deal with their feelings about the potential monster they’ve created

yesterday people from work came to see the puppies and like

i’m remembering why i don’t make friends with non-dog people anymore