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i-am-the-oyster · 3 months

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Hi there, I also have a quick question about this post (Paul's guilt about hurting John, possibly evidenced in song notes during the making of RAM, and its source—that he left John, despite having promised not to).

Are you saying Paul felt guilty towards John, and knew why, during the making of RAM? And, if so, how would you square this with Paul's notorious 'grief rant' phonecall with Hunter Davies shortly after John's death, where Paul appears not only upset by the idea that he hurt John, but also unaware of what he could have done to cause this hurt?

"But what had really got Paul upset that day was an interview with Yoko in which Yoko was quoted as saying that Paul had hurt John more than any other person. Paul thought they were amongst the cruelest words he ever read." (Hunter Davies grief rant fun)

Was Paul bullshitting Hunter? (Go, Paul)

Was Paul being defensive and angry b/c Yoko blamed him for hurting John in public?

Was Paul not surprised to hear he'd hurt John (after all, they hurt each other often), but struck by the 'more than any other person' part?

I don't mean to say you're right or wrong. I'm just curious to hear you elaborate on this. Meaning, your take on Paul's guilt, and how accessible it was to him consciously. I've long been thinking about him hearing this claim, 'you hurt him more than anyone else', and how different that would have landed, depending on how aware/guilty he felt.

(Whether Paul was right to feel guilty or not is a completely different matter, and doesn't play a role on my question.)

Thank you for the wonderful meaty (sorry Paul!) ask!

I think Paul *did* feel guilty at the time, but I wouldn't exactly say Paul was bullshitting Hunter. The thing that always jumps out at me from that transcript is where Paul says:

There's only one incident I can think of that John has mentioned publicly.

(emphasis mine)

Isn't that an interesting distinction in the context? It makes me think that there were deeply private things that they each did to the other but Paul feels certain that those things would never end up the subject of public discussion.

I don't buy the image of Paul as lacking self-awareness or self-reflection. BUT he is extremely good at re-framing things in a positive way "so many times I had to change the pain to laughter" AND he is a very contrary person. He seems to often instinctively push against whatever narrative the person opposite him is proposing, especially where the topic needs some nuance. (eg the one time he approaches the topic of Jim's violence is in response to Stern pushing Paul's own "idyllic childhood" bit).

So back to the version of their story that had in mind when I made my original post. (Which I'm not married to, but seems like a plausible scenario worth exploring). Paul and John are in a codependent relationship, John has clearly expressed his terror that Paul might leave (as he did with Cyn). John's behaviour has become erratic and (at least borderline) abusive. Paul knows that if he lets go John will "take a tumble", but he's exhausted and Linda is teaching him to take his own desires and needs into account in a much healthier way. (Not to suggest Paul was never selfish in the 60s lol, but he wasn't practicing actual self-care).

John is spiraling, and pushing Paul away in that heartbreaking pattern I call "see I knew you were going to leave". (I'm sure there must be a name for it in psychology). Linda doesn't yet realise the depth of feeling she's dealing with. Paul knows how terrified John is, he's promised he won't be like the others, he won't leave. But he can't do it any more. John finally convinces him that he actually wants him to leave, he bawls his eyes out in front of Mal, and he disappears to Scotland.

I think he would be absolutely wracked with guilt.

And then I think as part of his recovery from that depression he would reassure himself that he did need to leave, that it was the right choice, that he and John could continue to care about one another deeply and move on.

I think Yoko's statement was unnecessarily cruel hurt him, and triggered that contrary response. What's she even talking about? What did I do? The worst ever?!

Thanks again!

#that got tangenty #i hope you like text :)#crepe ask #paul's guilt #the breakup

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bebemoon · 6 months

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look for the name: MARIA FERNANDA

catholic guilt clothing "icons" corset

jean paul gaultier graphic printed mesh mini skirt in black and grey

r13 low rider leather cowboy boots

christian dior saddle shoulder bag w/ buckle and key charms

{beauty and hair} frances bean cobain c. 2o15

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franklyimissparis · 2 months

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“if paul was bisexual/queer why wouldn’t he just come out by now?” why WOULD he tbh 😭😭 like idk i just think at 81 years old it’s probably not something PR man paul particularly feels the need to share publicly

#especially since he’s married to a woman - knowing paul i feel like he’d probably (incorrectly) think it’d be a betrayal to nancy/linda #i get the vibe that for paul it’s a bit ‘out of sight out of mind’#like yeah i’m not with a guy right now so why tell people #who knows maybe he’ll shock us one day but it seems like despite him clearly having some unresolved feelings and pent up guilt abt john #he’s also content with leaving things as they stand - continuing to emphasise how much he loved john without making a statement #all of this is assuming that he’s even cognizant of his own queerness which is doubtful at times 😭#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #john and paul

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impercre · 29 days

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Big Controversial Take when if comes to my Paul but I don't think he's a victim. He makes a lot of noise about how guilty he feels but actions speak louder than words. I think he was a boy who let a lot of things go to his head and was young and arrogant enough to think he could mold his following into something he wanted. I also don't see his phase as The Preacher as a genuine 'mea culpa' because to me it's Paul doing what he's always done- centering himself and still trying to mold his following into what he wants it to be. He's also throwing a lot of very vulnerable people under the bus for the sake of his 'guilt'. People who are vulnerable precisely because of his actions like Alia and his own children.

#the place you dare not look {paul muad'dib headcanon}#Paul is a lot like Louis in tvc #he sorta fetishizes his guilt #but never really does anything constructive with it #he feels guilty and then just continues devouring people #while complaining no he's the REAL victim here

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gingerylangylang1979 · 8 months

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Everybody focusing on the Ayo and Jeremy comment exchange when I'm watching for incoming data about her and Paul.

The Ayo and Jeremy Insta thing is amusing but I'm not reading anything deeper into that except her play dragging him. Jeremy trying to engage on social is so funny because he's years behind and doesn't know what he's doing, haha! It's like Carmy at that party. But really y'all need to be tuned into the gossip about the other one. Like I view all celeb rumors I'm not claiming any truth until real receipts come through, if they do, if any exist, but I'm finding this way more interesting.

#ayo edebiri #jeremy allen white #paul mescal #never cared about celeb gossip much until the bear ugh #lord forgive me #catholic guilt

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ljblueteak · 2 years

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Copies of handwritten lyrics/doodles included in the Ram archive edition box set. Looks like we’ve got some of “Rode All Night” and “3 Legs.”

#paul mccartney #linda mccartney #these doodles are the best #the floating martini above the dog is chef’s kiss #and these lyrics and notes…the one about guilt!

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roseguided · 2 months

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i think a lot of how irulan acts in messiah is a product of the enviroment she's in. she wasn't given much of a choice to marry paul, it was something that was made for her. yes, she's perpared for something like this her entire life but she didn't have her own autonomy in the situation. i think, deep down, she resented that a little. irulan is dutiful, she's strong willed, smart, & has her own sense of independence. she doesn't apperciate the feeling of being cornered or having her opinions go unheard even if they're met with opposition.

so, imagine not only having your choice taken from you but then you're made to marry someone who will never love you. who can be quit cold toward you, mean, cruel. no support, no compassion, nothing. just like running into a brick wall or having ice stuffed down your shirt. & on top of it, paul was always very open about his love for chani, his happiness, his desire to have a family with her. not with irulan. & that's thrown in your face every day for over fifteen years. irulan didn't start out as someone unkind nor does she want to be, but she had to do something with these feelings.

she turned her heartache, her sadness, over being rejected, on how she was treated, into resentment. bitterness. anger even at times. it's all she figured she could do when bearing it, turning the other cheek, became an impossibility. she isn't sure when she got so resentful, when she got so mean, but it's apart of who she is after a while. deep down, she just wants what she'll never have. to love, to be loved. to her the enviroment she lives in is hostile.

#headcanon: irulan corrino #i hope this makes sense #been thinking abt this for a hot minute #poisoning chani was cruel of her and she knows that #she does have moments of guilt / regret over it esp when it causes her death #but at the time it felt the only real way to get back at paul #outside of her instrictions from the RM to do so #dune spoilers

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apopcornkernel · 4 days

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“I did dream about her... all the way to darkness. And the dreams were... shameful.”

?!?!?! JEAN-PAUL I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT??????

#another win for the catholic guilt enjoyers i guess BUT STILL???!!!?!!#like you're a grad student calm down........#dcposting #dc #batman #jean-paul valley

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sourkilko · 1 year

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Sword of Azrael redraw!! Based on the page under the cut

click 4 detail

#azrael #jean paul valley #dc #batfam #scoptophobia #I am not immune to catholic guilt twinks

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ohitshoneybee · 9 months

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guess whos finally watching midnight mass and having Thoughts and Feelings (its me, im very normal about father paul (and also hamish linklater))

#i just #i love him so much #oh my god #midnight mass #father paul hill #father paul #maybe its just the catholic guilt that i find hot #cause matt murdock is a walking meat suit of catholic guilt #and also the priest from fleabag #oh dont get me started #andrew scott my beloved

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cbrownjc · 2 years

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So how slow am I that it took a comment on another post for me to remember that the last person Louis said “I love you” to out loud immediately intentionally fell off a roof and killed himself (Paul)? And then his mom went and blamed him for that death, saying he must have said something to cause it.

I mean, duh. So of course he might have issues saying “I love you” out loud now. That whole thing was one of the emotional states he was in when he was turned. So he’s been locked in it for who knows how many years now? (At least 20 or so.)

Also, I remember distinctly after he was turned and fed for the first time, and he was talking about how he had to go home, he mentioned Paul as one of the people he had to go home to. It’s like he forgot Paul was dead at that moment he was so disoriented.

Paul is still basically the root of Louis’ ongoing despair.

Also, Claudia wasn’t only supposed to be his redemption wrt what his killing of the Alterman ignited IMO. Her becoming more Louis’ sister as she grows older in this adaptation (instead of his lover, which, yes, she does in the book) fits her still into a beloved family spot just as he finally loses Grace completely.

But she can’t really be a redemption for him. Especially wrt Paul. He wasn’t to blame for what happened to Paul. But who knows for now if he’s ever come to terms with that.

#Louis de Pointe du Lac #Interview with the Vampire #amc iwtv #iwtv #Paul de Pointe du Lac #guilt #is it catholic guilt?#idk i'm not catholic

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simplegenius042 · 7 months

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Music Monday & Last Line Tag

Tagged by @poisonedtruth

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @shallow-gravy @direwombat @voidika @g0dspeeed @adelaidedrubman @chazz-anova @cassietrn @deputy-morgan-malone @strafethesesinners @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @strangefable @derelictheretic @wrathfulrook @inafieldofdaisies @minilev and @jillvalentinesday

Paul Yellowjack is a character who has gone through many changes. He started as Silva's first real father figure, a teacher who raised her on morals to live by, protected her from Adam when the poor-excuse of a man wanted her back, and lead his people in a revolution against their violent oppressors on the Archipelagos. Ultimately, after the massacre though, he ended up as a tragic fallen hero whose core morals corrupted when put through tragedy after tragedy, leaving bitterness to take his heart and (regrettably) lash out at the world, before Silva could restore his hope again. Left down a dark path for so long he can no longer return as the man Silva once knew (even if there are shades of him deep inside the villain he has become), and sadly neither wishes him to, Paul because of his self-loathing, Silva because of the pain he inflicted on her. There is a longing between them, but both have gone down two different paths, with no way to return to one another (or at least, that's what both believe). I believe this song reflects his turmoil perfectly. I'll probably explain in the tags.

youtube

"I want you by my side So that I never feel alone again They've always been so kind But now they've brought you away from me

I hope they didn't get your mind Your heart is too strong anyway We need to fetch back the time They have stolen from us

And I want you We can bring it on the floor You've never danced like this before We don't talk about it Dancin' on, doing the boogie all night long Stoned in paradise Shouldn't talk about it

And I want you We can bring it on the floor You've never danced like this before We don't talk about it Dancin' on, doing the boogie all night long Stoned in paradise Shouldn't talk about it Shouldn't talk about it

Coldest winter for me No sun is shining anymore The only thing I feel is pain Caused by absence of you

Suspense controlling my mind I cannot find the way out of here I want you by my side So that I never feel alone again

And I want you We can bring it on the floor You've never danced like this before We don't talk about it Dancin' on, doing the boogie all night long Stoned in paradise Shouldn't talk about it

And I want you We can bring it on the floor You've never danced like this before We don't talk about it Dancin' on, doing the boogie all night long Stoned in paradise Shouldn't talk about it Shouldn't talk about it

And I want you We can bring it on the floor You've never danced like this before We don't talk about it Dancin' on, doing the boogie all night long Stoned in paradise Shouldn't talk about it

And I want you We can bring it on the floor You've never danced like this before We don't talk about it Dancin' on, doing the boogie all night long Stoned in paradise Shouldn't talk about it Shouldn't talk about it

And last line for The Years In Hope County, which is getting pushed for possibly next week.

"We've come a long way. You've come a long way," Elsa tells [Sylvester], downing the latte in her hands like shots at the Fairgrave's bar, "You may not see it but... we're already honouring them, just by being alive."

#far cry the silver chronicles #far cry 5 #oc: paul yellowjack #fic: the years in hope county #oc: elsa omar #so with paul and silva one of their favourite pass times was dancing #and their dance was always a way for them to feel connected with each other and express their familial affection to one another #however the “dance” as described in the song has changed #“you've never danced like this before” being a euphemism for “you've never desired to kill me before”#who “they” refer to are those who have “stolen” silva away from paul especially now in his villainy #that being the residents of hope county and her remaining family like elsa + persephone and allies like gavin and kamski and etc #“coldest winter” and “no sun is shining” refers to both literal examples #like the archipelagos #as well as metaphorical #like his emptiness and loss of silva #“we don't/shouldn't talk about it” refers to both the lack/loss of communication between silva and paul #and paul's guilt preventing him from acknowledging and processing the event that completely destroyed any chance of recovering silva's love #“i cannot find a way out of here” is essentially being unable to escape his eternal servitude to zachariah the orchestrator #“you're heart is too strong anyway”#paul acknowledges that the morals he and others' had taught silva has made her defiant and against his attempts to bring her into villainy #(which also stops silva from giving up and is part of the reason she refuses to join eden's gate and their violence in the future)#it is something he can't help but feel pride and relief from #there's more but you can probably come to your own conclusions on what those are #Youtube

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thestarsarecool · 1 year

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We’re still looking at the painting of Linda. Why hasn’t [Paul] included his most recent paintings of her in the book?

“I haven’t done many later paintings.”

I thought he had continued painting her since she died.

“They’re not of Linda. They’re just of turmoil.”

Has the pain eased?

“People say time is a healer, and time heals by erasing. That is a sad fact. I love my mum, but I’m not so sure I’ve got a very clear picture of her face in my mind. I’m not saying I could ever forget my mum or my dad or Linda or John. In some ways you remember them more, but the details…When she died all of us in the family expected her to walk in the door, and we don’t now.”

He says he feels bad about the fact that it becomes more difficult to conjure up her face.

“This is life, this is guilt. If we’re lucky we let ourselves off a little bit more, that’s what I’m trying to do.”

— Paul McCartney on the death of Linda McCartney, September 11th, 2000, the Guardian

#I am so fascinated by Paul’s quotes on guilt #I will make a compilation one of these days #I think I have written down like 8 quotes where he brings it up #paul mccartney #the beatles #beatles #linda mccartney #john lennon #mary mccartney #my quotes

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bluebear-d · 1 year

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