most unrealistic thing ab house is people acting like james wilson isn’t funny as hell

(Brief) CG!House headcanons cuz I just think he’s neat

-Will make up some inane story for everything you ask him. If you ask why he needs a cane, he’ll say something that is most definitely a lie and very obviously unbelievable, and when you call him out and say it’s not true he’ll pause and go “mmm…yeah, you’re right” and then blatantly lie again. This can go on for several hours.

-If you work for him at PPTH and you start slipping, he’ll let you sit in his office and maybe play with his tennis ball.

-He’s a good cook (canon), and will likely - probably - cook things for you if asked (not canon).

-Is better with older regressors, think 7-12.

-It goes without saying that he’s not the most caring caregiver out there. He’s more of a really close uncle cg than a father. He knows he’s not like his father, but…well, he doesn’t get as close to you as either of you would like.

-He bought a toy doctor’s kit just for the hell of it and occasionally plays with you. In the end, the “patient” has racked up a list of symptoms that likely mirror his current case.

-He also made a fake MRI machine out of cardboard that is used more frequently than you would expect.

-Isn’t really a nicknames sort of guy in general. He’ll usually call you by your first name (apart from the occasional “kid” or “kiddo”). Though he did call you “squirt” once semi-ironically.

-He’s not exactly gentle, but…quiet. If you need someone less crass at the moment, he’ll look you in the eye and speak in low tones that just border in soft.

-If you also have chronic pain, he’ll do whatever it takes to make you as comfortable as possible.

-He has a small box of your age regression things in his closet. Not all of them, but those deemed “most necessary”.

-Very tone-focused, especially for more sensitive or younger regressors. He’ll make it very obvious that he’s being sarcastic and very obvious that he’s being genuine and make his boundaries very obvious as well (hint: he’s better with older regressors because he, frankly, doesn’t have much energy to change diapers continuously.)

-Wilson can and has babysat for whenever a case is so much of a puzzle that House doesn’t want to leave it alone.

-On bad pain days, after work you’ll both sit down to watch either monster trucks or a movie of your choosing. If it’s a kids film he really will try to focus on it with you for ten minutes tops then focus on work again.

-He’ll accept any benign things you give him for the pain in his leg, even if they don’t work. He does, however, tell you that they won’t work.

-He makes it very clear that he’s a caregiver, not a regressor. He believes that age regression is a valid coping mechanism, but thinks and feels he’s too far gone for it to ever work for him. Also, he’s just fine staying miserable. Or so he tells himself.

house: wilson we need to see what the brain looks like when gay sex happens let’s get in the mri machine …!!!

what does "disregarding/ignoring/violating the rights of others" mean in aspd crit. can someone list some examples because i cannot think of anything except abuse, torture, s*xual abuse/assault (specifying cus theres also just physical assault/battery), etc (just cus its how i described my abuse/assault that happened to me and not cus i think all pwaspd are abusive lmao)

Well, yes I think we can all agree those would be included but sometimes it's more nuanced and less blatant than that. The thing about any of the above (plus stealing and stalking which also belong on that list I think) is the way it's done - little to no remorse, easily justifying it to yourself, etc. are a major part of this disorder so if someone were to do those things and have trouble being ok with the fact that they did it, then imo it wouldn't count as disregarding/ignoring their rights. With that in mind I think it becomes easier to the see the less obvious things.

Stuff like using a reserved parking space because "I got to it first" or "they don't need all these spaces", openly speaking about information told to you in confidence especially private things like medical information or outing someone as lgbt, intentionally making someone uncomfortable for your own amusement/ends, etc along those lines. Rights to privacy, solitude, peace, comfort, freedom of choice, etc are also included in this.

I talk a lot about Greg House as a [Spoiler alert for House MD seasons 1-early 6]

(diagnosed in canon) example of ASPD because there aren't many, and he's a particularly good example for this question.

Ways House violates others rights include putting a cochlear implant in someone who refused it because "he's choosing a disability which is messed up when there are many others who don't get to choose", manipulating information to get consent for procedures patients wouldn't have consented to otherwise, telling cashiers whoever he's talking to will buy his lunch and walking away immediately afterwards so they're pressured to do so, stealing SO MUCH of Wilson's food, walking into rooms not just even if the door is closed, but especially if the door is closed, encouraging/demanding his team break into patients' homes without consent including stealing their keys, going behind Wilson's back to question his exes about him, harassing multiple people who have made it clear they don't want to speak to him, turning a group of potential employees into numbers (cough cough 13 who stays that way forever by choice), making games out of both patients and employees' lives (he does this job exclusively for the pleasure of "solving puzzles", as he puts it, and is willing to break the law and violate ethics codes if it means solving the puzzle even if the patient ends up deceased for him to do so), disrespecting workplace safety practices in big and small ways, jumping his place in line for MRI/other machines and lab testing, setting up differentials in and refusing to leave others' offices to get things he wants/needs, and intentionally making everyone he employs and/or is employed by uncomfortable for the sole purpose of "making sure they're cut out to work for him" or making them worried about fighting with him so he can get what he wants, respectively, and oh yeah literally practicing medicine and sometimes surgery while high 25/8 and sometimes while hallucinating.

This is literally just off the top of my head there are so many more because it was a long time ago and if you think we are demonized now, just look back at the 2000's or before.

Out of context, any few of those may just make him selfish, a prick, or unconventional yet effective at his job, but combining that with both his feelings about doing those things (it is extremely rare that House feels any remorse and usually only if he crosses a line so badly that it risks his ability to continue his life as he knows it) and his other symptoms, you get ASPD. The fact that he has to actively try to remember others can have boundaries and deserve respect is what makes it ASPD, and means he isn't a prick or selfish, he's just struggling to understand what seems like an obvious concept to others around him.

The same goes with anyone else; these things are fairly insignificant by themselves but if its more a true personality trait (happens across multiple situations including to people you are close with and strangers etc) then it starts to hold weight as a symptom - sometimes moreso than the larger rights violations you mentioned above because hopefully those are few and far between while more minor things like this can be seen as a constant/daily thing.

Super good question and I appreciate you asking it. /gen A lot of people see that bit of criteria and jump straight to violent crime and just assume that's what it means and whilst it definitely can be, not everyone with ASPD is so disregarding of others' rights that they commit violent crimes.

Ok I would like to play a game of two truths one lie!!! Two of these are actual things that happened in house md and one of them I made up

1. There is an episode where house gets shot, spends the entire episode hallucinating about the case he was doing and solves it. when he wakes up he tells the doctors to treat him with ketamine and that fixes his leg pain issues.

2. House hallucinates wilson's dead girlfriend through multiple episodes and then eventually ends up having hallucinated intercourse with her

3. House shoots a corpse and puts it in an MRI machine to see if bullet fragments in someone's body would do enough damage to warrant them not using it on the alive guy. The MRI machine explodes.

One of these is actually a lie I am not pulling a trick (but it is mostly true minus some parts)

All of these sound equally terrible

I really hope number 3 is the lie because I think that's the only one that genuinely breaks medical ethics agdjflajs

- realized i’ve been treating house md like it’s as tightly written a show as breaking bad or better call saul - which it most definitely isn’t. those shows have downright spoiled me and trained me into analyzing every single detail because EVERYTHING holds meaning over there in the gilliverse. that’s not necessarily the case in most other shows, and definitely not in house

- therefore me sitting here overanalyzing “everybody dies” and rewatching it 7 8 9 times achieves nothing. i said it myself, so much in that episode doesn’t add up - the dental records, house escaping the fire, the phone in wilson’s pocket. even before that there are things that don’t add up - the tickets, why house has to go to prison now when in the past he and the team have broken so many MRI machines, why this crime warranted his parole ending when he literally went out of state with wilson earlier, etc etc

- my point is “everybody dies” does not necessarily have to hold the answer to house’s mental state 5 months after its events. it cannot tell me for sure whether he decides to live or decides to die after wilson passes - its intention is to tell me whether he decides to die or decides to be there for wilson now. that’s all.  but it can point me to possibilities, and right now it’s pointing to both.

- and i suppose that’s what i don’t like - having to hold two contradictory ideas in my head. either house keeps living or he dies. the show can’t answer that for me

In My Veins (3/?)

House, M.D. Fanfic

Thanks to everyone for reading and for the notes left. I really do like reading your thoughts, so keep them coming. Also, those worried about House and Cuddy getting back together quickly, don't worry. It's not that simple, no matter what was in the last chapter and what you might think after this chapter. Also, fair disclaimer, I might have some details wrong as far as what happened at the end of the show... sorry, just go with it. And I know Cameron was gone... she's back because without Wilson, I needed a but of a sounding board. She won't be annoying, don't worry.

My song companion piece for this chapter is APOCALYPTIC by Halestorm. You can find it on Youtube. Great band, and it really inspired the ending. Also if I actually owned House and characters, I wouldn't have to write fanfic...I just would have made it all canon, so there's that.

A huge thank you to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie on Tumblr for helping to brainstorm a but and for reading all my stuff and helping edit and give feedback on what works and what doesn't. Enjoy!

xxxxx

"House isn't dead?"

Cuddy looked up from her desk to see Dr. Cameron entering her office with the memo she had sent out to everyone on the board about hiring House. "I know. I rehired him."

"No, I know. I just meant... you're not surprised? How long have you known?"

"Wilson told me at the funeral." She went back to her work then like it was no big deal. It really wasn't to her at this point.

Cameron was quiet for a moment, digesting all of this. "So you've known this whole time that he faked his death? Why didn't you say anything?"

"It wasn't my place."

"It wasn't your place to let everyone who was grieving know that he was alive?"

Cuddy had a 'seriously' look on her face when she glanced up from her file. It was House... the only two people legitimately grieving for him were Cuddy and Wilson. "No, it wasn't. I was no longer his boss. I was no longer his girlfriend."

"Why?"

Cuddy breathed deeply. "I was already gone. Wilson was dying. He wanted to be there for his best friend for once. I wasn't going to be the one who stood in his way."

Cameron was quiet again. "You're still in love with him."

Cuddy's eyes widened. "I am not...I'm the one who ended things. He drove a car through my house!"

"And you still love him," Cameron insisted.

"I left to get away from him."

"Leaving someone doesn't mean you stop loving them."

"Is that why you're back here working at the same hospital as Chase?" Cuddy deflected then.

Cameron was quiet for a moment. "Is that why you rehired him?" she countered with a pointed look.

Cuddy sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I hired him to keep an eye on him. Wilson was all he had. I just want to make sure he's not going to self destruct more than normal."

Cameron just shook her head. She could see House entering the hospital through the glass door of Cuddy's office. "I hope you know what you're doing, otherwise the hospital is going to be ground zero when the time bomb goes off."

The two women exitted the office and walked out of the clinic just in time to hear House's declaration. "Ladies and gentlemen, I have cured death!" he started. "Elvis is back in the building. If you've got questions, direct them toward Dr. Cuddy," he pointed in the direction of her office in the clinic with his cane. He then started toward the elevator.

Cameron simply looked at Cuddy, as did the other staff in the lobby. "Yeah, this isn't going to blow up at all," she said sarcastically, walking away from the mess House had seemingly already made.

Cuddy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "House, my office," she called before he could get too far.

He stopped and smiled slightly. "I knew it wouldn't be long before she just had to have me," he commented as he passed the nurse's station on the way into the clinic. "You bellowed?" He smirked as her office door closed.

She wasn't going to let him get to her. She wasn't going to bring up the kiss or anything about them. This was all going to be professional. "Maybe give the staff a few days to readjust to you before you start making bold declarations like you did this morning. Most of them are still shocked to see you alive."

"You mean you didn't post my picture all over the hospital and announce my out of retirement tour? Bummer," he commented.

She rolled her eyes. "The only people who got a memo was the board of directors. I have to notify them of any new doctor I hire in as a department head. Or in your case, a co-head."

He arched an eyebrow. "Co-head? I don't share my dictator power, you know that."

"Well you're going to have to learn. Dr. Chase took over diagnostic medicine when you left. He's done a good job, and I'm not going to demote him just because you've come back."

"Chase stole my department?"

"You left, House, that's not stealing. The hospital wasn't going to just keep the department around without an attending to run it. Chase was the most qualified. And he takes more than one case at a time," she countered, taking a seat behind her desk and crossing her arms. It was the safest place for her right then. It kept a barrier between them.

"You're really keeping him in charge of my department?"

"He's not in charge. You're both in charge. It's a good thing, House. It's going to let you ease back in. It gives you the puzzle you need. And Chase isn't Foreman... he's not going to butt heads with you or override you. I'm the only one who gets stuck in that particular level of hell."

He didn't like that arrangement, particularly, but she did have a point. Chase wasn't as bad as Foreman. He could usually manipulate Chase into getting what he wanted. "This isn't going to work," he said simply before leaving to begin the familiar walk back to his old office. He knew she wasn't going to give in, so he was stuck in the situation, at least for now.

When he stepped off the elevator, he walked down the familiar hallway. He passed by a familiar office and stopped long enough to give it a look, seeing the new name on the door. Taking a deep breath he continued on until he pushed open his old door with his cane and stepped inside.

"House..." Chase looked up from the file he was starting to review. "You're not dead."

He just gave the other man a look. "Clearly." He moved further into the office, going to the desk and dropping his bag, looking out the window toward the balcony that was on the back of what used to be Wilson's office. He breathed deeply again before grabbing his bag and turning to leave the office just as quickly as he'd come in.

"House!" Chase started.

"If you've got questions, call Cuddy," he called over his shoulder.

"We have a case!" Chase called from the open office door, only to see House continue walking. "House!"

House got on the elevator and went back to the main floor. He marched right back into Cuddy's office, past her objecting assistant. "I need a new office," he stated, leaning on his cane as he stood in front of her desk.

She took another moment before looking up from her file. "What's wrong with your old office?"

"Don't like it. Chase made it into a shrine for his ex-wife."

Cuddy just rolled her eyes and went back to her work. "You aren't getting a new office."

"I can't work in my old office. And while we're on the topic of needs...I need to hire a new team."

She looked up again and leaned back in her chair since he clearly was not going away. "You don't need to hire a team. The Diagnostics Department is already fully staffed with a team of excellent doctors."

"That's Team Chase. I need Team House. You have two department heads. We each get a team," he insisted.

She shook her head. "That's not how this works. You share the team that's there. It's not unreasonable. You personally only take one case at a time... I'm not hiring more doctors into that department for one extra case. I don't have the budget for that because I hired you."

"My salary is not equal to what it costs for my own team."

"No, your salary isn't. But when I hired you, I not only had to budget for your salary...I also had to budget for your lawsuits, the MRI machines you always seem to misuse and break, and all the other various incidental costs that come with employing an egomaniac like you," she pointed out. "Use the team. They're good."

He clenched his jaw for a moment before hitting his cane on the ground a few times. "Fine. I'll use Team Chase under protest. I still need a new office."

She shook her head. "There is no office available. Your office is fine. It's the biggest office outside of mine."

"Right... great idea. I'll just use your office until there is one available."

Her eyes widened and she pushed her chair back from her desk. "You will not!" She stood to face him.

"Then find me another office. Otherwise I'm moving in."

"I told you, there is no other office."

"Alright, Roomie," he said, moving to take a seat in one of her more comfortable chairs. "When my stethoscope is on the door, it means I've got a hooker in here."

She managed to contain her temper, instead moving back behind her desk. Maybe if she just ignored him, he'd realize he wasn't getting the attention he wanted and just go away.

xxxxx

House stood on her porch, beating on her door with his cane.

"Stop making so much noise. You're going to wake up Rachel," Cuddy said, pulling her robe tighter around herself as she opened the door.

"Not my problem. I wouldn't be here banging on the door if her mother weren't such a controlling idiot," he pushed past her.

"Right. Why don't you come in. We can talk about how I'm the idiot," she shook her head as she closed the door. She had expected to butt heads with him again, had even expected him to show up at her house to argue his point. But she hadn't expected it so soon. He hadn't even been back a whole week yet. She also wasn't sure what, if anything exactly, had set him off.

"You said I could have a team."

She just looked at him for a moment. Really? This was what he was so upset about? "I already told you. You do have a team. Chase and the three fellows that make up the diagnostics department."

"And I already told you. That's Chase's team. I want my team."

She gave a soft laugh. "There are four doctors...five, counting yourself, that make up the diagnostic department. Six if you count bugging Cameron in the ER with your theories. Seven if you count me vetoing your crazy theories and unnecessary procedures. That's more than enough to bounce theories around and handle your single patient of the week. I'm not letting you hire anyone else."

"First of all, you're not a real doctor, so you don't count," he started in on her. "Cameron isn't nearly as helpful now as she was when she worked for me. And Chase's team is too busy dealing with Chase's patients to be worried about my patient. I want my own team," he insisted angrily.

"No," she crossed her arms. "There are three doctors you can use to your heart's content. One patient a week does not justify me adding another team to your department."

He rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot!"

"You already said that," she pointed out.

"You're a horrible doctor. And you're cheap. You being a cheap idiot is what killed my patient!"

Ah... so that's what this was about. His patient had died. "You want to blame me because you didn't figure out the diagnosis," she stated.

"I'm blaming you because you're too cheap and too stubborn to let me have my own team. If I had my own team, they would have focused on my one patient instead of my one patient and Chase's three! My patient died because I don't have a team that is focused. We missed something because the team had to split their focus! They had to split their focus because you have some ridiculous urge to try to control me! This is on you!"

She gave a laugh. "Really? I think you've more than proven over the years that I have no control over you. You're uncontrollable," she countered. "Even when we were together you made it clear that I never controlled you."

He clenched his jaw and turned a bit more to really square off with her. She wasn't pissed off enough yet... he'd poke a different spot, push a different button. "That's what this little power play is really about. Me. You're still hot for me. And it drives you crazy."

She arched an eyebrow. "What are you even talking about?"

"You're pissed at me over everything that happened with us. This is your way of getting back at me for the way things ended."

"Don't go there," she warned lowly. That was a very dangerous hole to go down.

That's exactly where he wanted to go. He'd found the exact button to push and now he wasn't going to stop. This was the reaction he'd wanted. "Our entire relationship, you constantly said you never wanted me to change who I was. You knew how screwed up I was. You acknowledged it. I think it even got you off. You said you never wanted me to change. But in the end it did matter. Turns out that you really did want me to change after all. You probably thought you were such a great catch that you could make me change."

"I didn't break up with you because you didn't change. And for the record, I never asked you to."

"No, it was because one time when I thought you were dying, I slipped up. I thought I was losing the woman I loved, and I took a pill to numb everything for a few hours because I didn't know how to deal with that kind of pain."

"House, stop," she swallowed hard. She could feel her temper flaring with every word.

"I made one mistake. One. And the almighty, perfect Dr. Cuddy just couldn't be with anyone who isn't as perfect as she is! Only aside from your ass, there's not a perfect bone in your body."

"One mistake?! You think you only made one mistake our entire relationship? I never said I was perfect, but you...you lied to me. Multiple times. You weren't there when I needed you. You never showed up when I needed you... it was only when it was convenient for you and your damn ego! When I was sick you brought your whole team to try to diagnose me!"

"Because I was trying to save you!"

"You don't get to run around playing God! You can't decide who lives and dies, House! You can't save everyone! I didn't want House the doctor, I wanted House the man I loved!"

"This isn't about money or even you being stubborn. This is about you and me. This is about you being so angry at yourself that despite everything I've done, everything that happened, you can't help but still want me. You're still attracted to me, and you hate it,  hate yourself. So you're blaming me... taking it out on me with the one thing that you can control. My work," he growled angrily.

"If that were true, why the hell would I have rehired you?!"

"Because you want to fuck with me... in both senses of the word!" He yelled at her. "It's not my fault you can't control yourself around me. It's not my fault you still want me and what only I can do for you. It's not my fault..."

She interrupted him with a hot, angry kiss. It was searing and fierce, biting his lower lip roughly. When they both pulled away a moment later, they just stared at each other... really, more of a glare. They were both angry...at each other, at the situation, at the truth. They both were upset. That was it... the gasoline had been poured on and this was the final spark that caused the explosion.

Her hands fisted in his shirt pulling him against her as her lips crashed hard into his. His cane dropped as his hands yanked her robe open and began roaming possessively. There was nothing tender or gentle in the way he touched her... nor in the way she touched him. This was raw, unbridled passion and lust... tension that had been building between them probably since things ended if they were being brutally honest with themselves.

Her robe finally fell from her shoulders and her back hit the wall hard. His fingers were rough on her skin, grabbing her body in ways she knew would leave bruises, but she couldn't bring herself to care... leaving her own marks on his body from her mouth and nails.

She didn't even care about his shirt, going straight for his belt and jeans. They weren't going to make it to her bedroom. Even if this weren't such an urgent need for both of them, she wasn't ready to invite him back into her bed. So she shoved him down on the couch, yanking his pants over his hips in the process. She moved to straddle him, teeth moving over the skin of his neck until they sunk into his pulse point hard, eliciting a deep groan from his chest.

His fingers dug into her hips hard enough to leave fingerprint bruises, and his eyes were dark as they met hers. He quickly pushed her to her back underneath him on the couch, unwilling to give her the control he knew she wanted. His mouth ravaged every inch of available skin, biting and sucking, leaving marks everywhere that would serve as a reminder of him. At the same time his hands moved underneath her nightgown groping possessively, pulling her close and making sure he reminded her that no one else knew her body the way he did.

She gave him a few minutes to think he was in control, but there was no way she was letting him keep it. Her hands groped his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it somewhere to the side. Before he could realize it, she gave a shove to flip him to his back, which sent them both falling off the couch. He landed on the floor with a thud and a grunt, and she landed on top of him triumphantly. Her thighs straddled his, and she pinned his wrists to the floor on either side of his head, refusing to let him touch her for the moment. Her mouth ran along his throat, teeth grazing the skin as she dropped her hips.

xxxxx

By the time they were done, they were both still laying on the floor where they'd landed when they rolled off the couch, only he was now on top of her. His shirt was on her coffee table, his pants still around his ankles. They both had red marks on their bodies that would most likely turn into bruises, bite marks in various places, and she'd left rather nasty scratches down his back with her nails that had broken skin.

Neither said a word. Neither even moved until soft footsteps were heard in the hall. "Mommy?"

Shit. Rachel was awake and apparently out of bed. She gave House a shove so she could slip out from underneath him. "Go back to bed, Sweetie. I'll be there in a minute, okay?" She called to her daughter, hoping her voice still sounded normal. She waited until she heard the footsteps fade back down the hallway before getting up, still without a word to him. She straightened her nightgown and picked up her robe as she disappeared to take care of her daughter.

House laid on his back, staring up at her ceiling for a few moments before finally sitting up and redressing. Pushing himself up, he limped over to where his cane had landed and picked it up before silently letting himself out of her house. He stood on her porch for a few moments, trying to process his conflicting thoughts and feelings before shaking his head and starting toward his bike. He couldn't let this happen again. He knew he'd never be what she needed. He wasn't the right guy for a single mom. And he knew that she knew that. So he wasn't going to torture himself with the rejection that would inevitably come.

Black Heart

Author: locke-writes

Title: Black Heart

Request: House is, well he’s House. He’s always right and never really wrong. Except for when he let you go. You’ve not seen him for years. When you’re checked in to the hospital House won’t stop until he figures out what’s wrong and he won’t stop until he can convince you of giving him a second chance. For: @onlyanevilangel

Rating: T

Word Count: 2229

Warning: Hospitals, Medical Tests

As House sat next to you in the hospital waiting for you to be discharged he thought back to how it had come to this point. Luck was not necessarily something House had a lot of. People said he was lucky when he came up with a diagnosis for something that had nearly killed a person but that wasn't luck that was simply being a doctor. After every mistake he had made in his life he had determined that his luck must have run out when he was only a child. But then you came walking, or rather fainting, back into his life and he thought that maybe luck hadn't run out, just that maybe luck was waiting for something big.

The two of you had met when you both were fresh out of medical school and working at a clinic. It wasn't the fancy hospital either of you had dreamed of going to but it was a place to practice medicine and really that was all that mattered. House never particularly liked the job, most of the time showing that animosity to the patients themselves while you were grateful for any experience and strived to show kindness to all patients who entered the clinic although you did have your fair share of rude ones.

He never could pinpoint the moment that he fell in love with you. Reflecting on it he thought that might be because as soon as he realized that it was love he dropped everything and left. The two of you had started out friends who would occasionally go out for drinks when not on call or having to appear for a shift the next day. House could tolerate you and you understood House's personality which was something that no one could say they full understood. Not even now would anyone say that. 

You gave him six months of his life and in turn he left you. You loved him and he loved you, the words never spoken but felt entirely. 

Six months was all that you had together and it was all you believed you would ever have together until fifteen years later you'd meet again. Or rather until fifteen years later you were forced to meet again.

Every single day you were around illness, it was not something you'd ever thought much about. Eventually you would become ill, it had to happen at one point. Yet the symptoms pointed to absolutely nothing that you had ever come across. Doctors that you had been referred to had claimed nothing was wrong, fatigue and naseau were possible symptoms for a variety of things including a regular stomach virus. Yet despite what everyone seemed to say you knew something was wrong.

The only thing you knew when you entered PPTH that morning was that you had an appointment with a gastroenterologist. While you believed that it was something other than a stomach virus there was no one else that you could think to see. If a stomach virus was the common consensus then a stomach virus you hoped it would be. However that appointment would never come. You supposed that was what you got for passing out in the middle of a hospital lobby. 

When you awoke you were laying in a hospital bed hooked up to multiple machines. You shut your eyes as quickly as you had opened them once the bright lights nearly blinded you. Staying like that for a moment you only opened them again when you registered who had been looking over your charts.

"Took you long enough"

"I want another doctor. I didn't want to find you, I never found you. You need to go and get anyone else I don't care who, just as long as they aren't you."

"Look I know I'm an asshole…"

You interrupted, "Not just an asshole. THE Asshole"

"If you want to know why you fainted today then you'll let me take your case."

"Anyone but you. There's someone else here that can answer the mystery question and it isn't going to be you or anyone involved with you. I've spent fifteen years of my life without you and I'll spend the rest without you too."

"There might not be more years if you don't let me take this case."

"Greg, I just got up and now I have to see you. I feel like shit but this, talking to you is pure torture. You want this case you can take this case but I want someone else here whenever you are. I'm not rehashing the past. Find someone to stick around and deal with this shit again, or leave again, your choice."

House knew you had your reasons not to trust him, all very valid ones at that, yet he couldn't help but feel hurt by the fact that you'd rather someone else take his case. All he wanted was for you to be out of this hospital and on your way again. He only wanted you to be healthy again and while it would be nice for you to know he knew you would refuse to listen to the fact that he still loved you. Wilson had never been informed of you and Wilson was the only person he could trust to keep the past a secret.

As he slipped out the door you leaned back in the bed and closed your eyes. Part of this was your fault in a way. You hadn't checked the full faculty list only the doctor that you were supposed to see. There were plenty of other gastroenterologists in other hospitals, just because this one had a few awards and was named best in the state didn't mean you had to see this particular doctor. It just meant that you'd definitely see this one because you could.

But of course the one person in your life that you never wanted to see again, there he was. You'd given him six months of your life, found yourself in love with him and him with you, then he up and left. He'd taken what he'd left at your apartment, slipped out in the middle of the night, had quietly quit the clinic job, and then disappeared without a word. You tried calling him for a period of time but all the calls were ignored and eventually you gave up. Fifteen years later your face to face with the one person you have the most regrets about dating without the ability to leave.

He was still the same Greg you had fallen for back then. Older, of course, but still the same tall, handsome, stubborn, know-it-all, that had charmed you back then. You had fallen for him quick and you had fallen for him hard. 

You began contemplating what the hell you were going to try and do to keep feelings from returning.

Wilson was the only doctor in the entire hospital that he could trust to keep this secret if it slipped out. House refused to tell the real reason and left it simply at the fact that he pissed off another patient. It happened often enough that it was the most believable of excuses. 

"So what have you been diagnosed with before coming here?"

"A stomach virus. You aren't even going to introduce me, Greg?"

He pointed to the man sitting in the corner, "This is Wilson. He agreed to be here because he has nothing better to do. Those other doctors are idiots."

"Obviously. If I believed what they had said then I wouldn't be here." You turned away from him, "Hello Wilson, pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise. I apologize on his behalf"

"Never apologize on my behalf. You don't know what you're apologizing for. What tests did they run?"

"Nothing. When the symptoms include fatigue and nausea they don't tend to look any further. Wilson, I take it you have no idea why I actually asked for someone else to be here because you most certainly wouldn't be apologizing."

"I assumed he had pissed you off. He does that often. I assume now that by you're using his first name you know one another?"

"You want to tell him Greg or should I?"

"Keep it a secret. I'm going to schedule you for a CT scan, we'll be able to tell if there's an actual issue causing you to pass out connected with your stomach."

 "That just means he doesn't want you to think he's a bigger asshole than you already do. 15 years ago we dated, were in love, and then after six months he disappeared."

"House doesn't strike me as the in love type of person but now I'm understanding why I'm here."

"I feel insulted here" House interjected.

"You should." You replied.

"You're always a jerk but I think that sort of tops it all" Wilson chimed in.

"It just seems like you think I stopped loving you which is why I left. I don't think you've even considered the truth which is that I still love you and regret what I did every single day."

Before you had the chance to speak he walked out of the room and after a minute of silence so did Wilson. You were left alone to process what had been revealed. You'd never forgotten him in all your time apart and apparently neither had he. 

You'd been taken by another doctor to the CT scan. After his confession you figured he'd want to stay away for a bit. He'd come back to the room to go over the results and maybe you could talk to him then. He needed to know that you kinda still loved him too. That you may have never stopped being in love with him or at least those feelings had lain dormant for a period of time until there he was, suddenly before you once more being the same self you'd known all those years ago.

He came in with Wilson and discussed the results. Cirrhosis of the liver but not just cirrhosis but an enlargement of it. There were varying reasons for cirrhosis but not for enlargement and a blood panel along with an MRI were scheduled for later. House of course already had an idea of what it was yet wouldn't tell you until the tests confirmed. You stopped him from leaving your room but sent Wilson on his way.

"You love me?"

"Honestly how could I not."

"The fact that you left kinda said otherwise."

"You want the truth?"

"Why would I want the lie?"

"I was afraid of fucking it up. I was afraid that I was in love with you. I was afraid that me taking this job would have driven us apart which was why I didn't tell you I had quit. I'd ask for a second chance but I'm sure that I don't deserve one, I think you'd agree with that statement"

"If I wasn't still in love with you then I would but it's hard to say second chances aren't deserved when you're in love with a person"

He stared at you for a moment, "You love me? After everything?"

You shrugged, "I thought I wasn't. I thought I'd gotten over you, fifteen years is long enough to forget a person but sometimes, and apparently this is one of those times, feelings just come rushing back as though they had always been there"

"So. You forgive me? And you don't care about this?" He questioned lifting the cane.

"I think it's going to take time, and probably a lot of it, for you to be forgiven. But eventually you probably will be. As for the cane, I have questions about how and why but no I'm not at all bothered by it"

"Well then. Once we get this diagnosis confirmed then, dinner maybe?"

"Yeah fine, Dinner."

One in a million that's what you were. Of course you would have some completely rare illness. Of course. It could never be something simple like a virus, it had to be malformation of arteries causing a blockage around your liver. One in a million. 

Budd-Chiari syndrome. It was rare and it wasn't deadly but it also wasn't necessarily curable. House had another doctor set up a prescription for you, he didn't want it to look like he was writing you unnecessary prescriptions and potentially have his license questioned because he was in a romantic relationship with you. Or was about to potentially enter a romantic relationship with you, depending on how the first date went. You had also been put on the transplant list, your liver was functional but it could continue scarring until it failed and then when the liver failed so would the spleen.

House was worried, both about screwing up again but also about your diagnosis even if he was the one who had given it. But he pushed worry out of his mind and focused on where he was and who he was with. Waiting for a nurse to bring the discharge paperwork he had taken your hand in his, running his thumb across your palm. Relationships never seemed to stay hidden for long at PPTH and if he was being completely honest he didn't want this one to.

Second chances were always somewhat of a myth for Gregory House. He was glad they weren't a myth for you.

house wilson moments that make my heart physically clench every time:

-when house starts to jokingly diagnose a patient based on their drawings and everyone else is like “the fuck?” but Wilson just jumps in like “indeed...the blue clearly means...”

-house is in the mri machine and wilson does a little voice “House? this is god” and house acts like it’s the cutest thing anyone’s ever done

-when wilson spends Christmas with house instead of his wife and they eat Chinese on the couch laughing and it’s a romantic montage

-actually every episode that ends with a montage of them laughing and talking but you can’t hear the dialogue

-house saying “I love you”

-when house gets a motorcycle and asks Wilson to dinner and tells him that unlike his wife he’d make it worth his while

-when they’re wearing tuxes and smoking big phallic cigars and house keeps jokingly telling Wilson about animal penis sizes to throw him off his game in poker and then they both laugh so big and bright

-same episode when house’s plan to trick Wilson into losing poker and coming to help with a patient doesn’t quite work and then Wilson comes anyway and is like “I would have just come if you’d asked...”

-when house tells Wilson he’s dressing like he’s in love with someone at work and Wilson just blushes and says he’s not

-that time Wilson is a little mad at house but still, with one look, tells house he’ll create a situation where house can get the patient alone and prove his crazy tick theory

-when Wilson wakes up from surgery and house is wearing glasses reading by his bedside in full on husband mode

-wilson saying the only things that work in his life are his job and house

-wilson gives house the first edition joseph bell text and writes “Greg made me think of you” and then the fellows find it and ask Wilson if they know who it’s from and Wilson says it’s from Irene Adler, house’s one true love that got away....

House MD season 2

30 second episode recaps from someone whos just watched em for the first time and has bad recall

Ep1: they gotta cure the death row dude so he can go back to death row to b killed, cameron is Bad at telling ppl they're dying, house n Wilson had lunch with the coma guy, they cured death row man, also they changed the theme and I hate it Ep2: House has hayfever lmao, this cancer girl with hallucinations is honestly just the coolest she's so positive I love her, shes nine and got chase to kiss her hero,, house an Wilson have a shared balcony amazing, Wilson is so good and pure and is amazing at his job holy shit I love this man. House actually 'temporarily killed' the patient to cure her and made people run drills on a dead man. House is 400% going to buy a motorbike Ep3: i prayed for Cuddy's handyman to fall off her roof past the window and then god answered my prayers and he did, house broke into Cuddy's house mainly to look at her underwear lbr and then won the 'can we chop off his arm' argument, house secretly speaks spanish and waited for the most dramatic moment to reveal this, they gate crashed a cock fight (ayy) and saved the patient Ep4: the patient is a doctor with an ego ((according to house lmao pot, kettle)) who wanted to sit in on the diagnostic process and honestly is actually full of himself,, house puts him on a tippy table and cranks it up, foreman made a patient cry except he was pretending to be house lmao house got in shit,, Cameron needs to stop please, can the patient get his head out his arse please. house gatecrashes the press conference that the patient called and managed to put him into cardiac arrest on live television and eventually cured him of everything cept bein a knob Ep5: Wilson's handwriting is such doctor handwriting and house definitely bought a motorbike and made Wilson pay for it he's so pleased with himself. The kid keeps getting electrocuted but like,, by his own body. House is avoiding his parents but Cameron n Wilson aren't letting him get away with it. I love house n Wilson's friendship so much it's worth 5k apparently lmao. These patients are fukin serial liars jc why are ppl like this, it was rADIATION wow houses dad is a fucking DICK. There were so many good interactions and the house/wilson ship is sailing Ep6: there was a cyclist who took a LOT of drugs which turned out to be curing him of the thing he had, house is a douchebag but we all knew that - he may b a dick to mark but m sure mark deserves it n I love him anyway. Wilson remains a sweet boy even if he cheats idgaf he's adorable look at him ((wilson: i net someone who made me feel funny, me: was it hOUSE)),, he n house are balcony buddies and house shud stop stealing his food, and he should definitely stop digging thru stacys life but actually fuck it why not he's not gunna let go of this why is she so pissy i wanna know Ep7: I love houses new pet rat Steve McQueen,, Wilson is 4000% done with houses Stacy related antics which is fair tbh he should stop but I actually don't give much of a shit about Stacy I've taken against her....he did deserve what she said after reading her file tho. The patient may have given Cameron aids and Cameron got high and slept with Chase, who she may have given aids lmao these ppl r messes but not as much of a mess as that father/son relationship jc...i dont remember anything else about the patient whoops Ep8: chase is being suuuueeeeddd and he keeps lying about why lmao,, house fuckin reamed him one which was probably called for but maybe not like that, turns out chase screwed up cus his dad died and foreman is houses boss ((supervisor)) now how well do u think that's gunna work (((not very))) Stacy's still a bitch and has ~~feelings~~ Ep9: foreman is in charge and house is doing his utmost best to be the dick of the year and it's fucking hilarious honestly I love this man the shit he pulls jc,,, Wilson is super aware of houses antics as usual and had a mild gay panic when foreman started to question him about house,, the patient was a big ol Faker™ but surprise surprise she was actually sick this time ((house totally injected her with a load of stuff so she’d b readmitted after they’s released her)) Ep10: house solved a case thru the phone alone and spent most of the ep at the airport except for those five minutes when he almost slept with Stacy who once had a terrible experience with curry apparently and called house a vindaloo, nice restraint very well timed phone call thank fuck,,, they will sleep together tho and I am Not Happy about it....the power play amongst the fellows is a boiling pot of trouble - the patient was v interesting I enjoyed the word scramble game Ep12: WHAT A GOOD FUCKIN EP so the patient orgasmed in the white chamber while unconscious and covered in burns but more importantly house gatecrashed the lecture of his old archenemy that he had arranged just so he could disturb it and criticise the dude who got him thrown out of med school for snitchin on his cheating all whilst Wilson told him to get better hobbies (('a hooker anything please')),, to test this dudes migraine meds he gave deliberately himself a migraine and the meds didn't work (unsurprising) so the fellows turned out all the lights while he had a nap under the table,, wilson took a diff approach and deliberately made a Lot of noise because he is a Shit even if he hides it better than house,,,, then house dropped a tab of acid and took a bunch of antidepressants, and cured his migraine as well as the patient Ep13: houses leg was super duper sore but at least we got some fantastic house/wilson interaction when wilson pretended to be God during that MRI, even if house hit him with a cane.... The patient was a teen supermodel who seduced her own father to get whatever she wanted,, house was super sure she had cancer and it turns out she did but it was testicular because she had xy chromosomes and was immune to testosterone - which was really fucking interesting...... Also cuddy played house like a violin and gave him placebo saline instead of a morphine shot to prove to him that his leg pain was psychological Ep14: House is stealing organs now. Ok so technically he did get the husband's permission to steal his newly dead wife’s heart for the dying old dude with a strangely young daughter but only after he kneed house in the balls super hard. House spent the whole ep goin on at wilson about the affair he thought he was having and at the end wilson showed up on houses doorstep but sURPRIse !! It was his wife who was sleeping around!! poor baby Wilson I know what goes around comes around but he's such a kicked puppy cmon Ep15: Wilson and house living together is a recipe for disaster and I'm living for it so good so many good interactions I love that house is gunna keep him for his food ((I'll never b over house hearing the voicemail about Wilson's new place, looking over at him sleeping on the couch and then deleting it so he has to stay)). The patient had a super cool marriage and didn't have lupus except whoops actually not a happy marriage his wife is tryna kill him thru gold poisoning. House needs to stop accosting ppl in bathrooms and should also stop destroying marriages Ep16: oh man good shit so,, first of all house n Wilson are still living together and there are some Domestic Antics happening right here including but not limited to a prank war which house desperately tried to get Wilson to participate in, the peak of which had house making Wilson wet the couch and Wilson sabotaging houses cane. The patients mum was ridiculously overprotective and house essentially kidnapped the patient to find the tick noone else thought was there,, surprisingly Wilson helped set that up despite the fact house was the reason he woke up wet that morning Ep17: first things first house could absolutely clean everyone out at poker if he knows Cuddy's tells that well through just a phonecall,, also he needs to stop calling Wilson out on his toenail varnish habits lmao. The patient was a smol boy who presented the same symptoms as an unsolved and dead case that house had 12 yrs ago so he really wasn't gunna let this one go cus he's like a dog with a bone. They were in formal wear all ep which was a Good Look™ and Wilson's retelling of how he won the poker championship may have been one of the cutest things I have ever seen Ep18: Emma from Glee is here and she has the black plague,, her gf decided to donate her liver n Cameron was all het up cus house had worked out plague girl was gunna leave her and sending the gf in blind would be ~~unethical~~ but turns out she knew and deliberately did that so Emma would stay with her out of guilt lmao. In other news Cameron's pissy cus foreman 'stole' her article and house spent most of the episode napping cus wilson is fuckin up his sleep cycle ;) I'm upset there was no physical wilson Ep19: the most annoying patient so far appears in the form of a 15 yr old faith healer with herpes. I feel like the degree to which unrelenting niceness irritates me rly says something about me but eh oh well. Chase (ofc it was chase) kept a tally on who was winning God or house, faith healer managed to shrink a womans cancer tumour through giving her herpes (((a miracle praise be))) and during poker night house called wilson out on sleeping with said cancer patient and discovered wilson was actually living with her whoops bad Wilson ((he totally regrets his life choices ((he should)))) Ep20: HOLY SHIT ITS A TWOPARTER AND FOREMANS GUNNA DIE !! Ok so,,, there was this cop who couldn't stop laughing till he could but then it got a lot worse and then foreman caught whatever it was which they began to realise when he smirked as house shot a corpse to see what a bullet in a brain would do to an MRI ((spoilers it broke the machine)) anyway long story short it wasnt the pigeons and the cops dead and foreman is gunna die even after that shitdick move he pulled where he stabbed Cameron with a needle so she'd go to the apartment Ep21: HOO BOY OK SO a lot happened so much happened the most important thing is foreman by the end of the ep is mostly kind of ok - he's just a bit muddled on his lefts n rights. During the ep house was stressed the entire time cus even tho he denys it he does love n care for his ducklings,, he even cares enough to deliberately attempt to poison Steve McQueen which didn't work but can be added to the list of stressful events. Cameron grew a spine a lil bit I literally yelled when she berated cuddy and she forced the biopsy cus foreman had the foresight (ayyyyy) to make her his medical proxy even if house managed to find the problem anyway so it was ultimately unnecessary and has just resulted in some possible brain damage Ep22: house keeps trying to pick a fight with foreman and failing because Foreman's all happy go lucky now, the patient was mad because of a thing and killed her baby accidentally on purpose, the music that played during the baby autopsy was super unnecessary and bizzare, and in the end the woman had cancer but she's refusing treatment cus of the baby guilt. Cuddy didn't have cancer, which we know because Wilson ((WILSON NOT HOUSE)) stole her dna and ran secret tests in the middle of the night, but it still wasn't a date Wilson despite what house said about skin lessions she was actually just going to attempt to use u as a sperm donor - have fun at the L-word marathon with house you big sad loser (I love u) Ep23: we meet an old house friend which is Super fun he is ridiculously naive and I love that he calls house g-man holy shit. House is now giving cuddy injections as part of a fertility treatment which is nice of him especially seeing as his leg was in a Lot of pain this ep,, like a LOT...he's self-injecting morphine now which is probably bad :/ house's friend's daughter was the patient at one point she pooped out her mouth gRoSs and house ran a paternity test n told the girl she was actually the dudes daughter ((except he was lYINg in support of his friend)) he does care Ep24: HOUSE GOT SHOT WHAT IS IT WITH THIS TEAM SUFFERING RN JC this was a very fun episode of 'guess when house is hallucinating', spoilers the answer is all the time the whole ep takes place in his head. That aside I absolutely loved the hospital gown/trainer combo (no I won't apologize) and the fact that house did almost none of his physio - instead relegating it to others which is....not how it works. The hallucinatory clinic patient was freaky deaky his eye exploded and so did his dick but dw cus to escape the hallucination house killed him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what can u do. At the end house woke up n requested ketamine we'll see how that goes

Season 1

House’s You Don’t Want to Know episode parallels Sherlock's Plot

Several parallels between Sherlock and House MD that have been pointed out recently. 

Now, it’s been a long time since I watched the show, but one thing I remember quite well is the recurring joke of “It’s never lupus” from House (the reason is that lupus usually takes years to diagnose in real life, so not ideal for a show with a “Disease of the week” format). This “joke” parallels the “It’s never twins” tagline that we’ve had since TAB (even though Sherlock solves the My husband is 3 people case in TSOT by immediately identifying 3 identical twins). 

Given that:

 House MD is another show that took a lot of inspiration from Sherlock Holmes (#UnderstatementOfTheYear, they barely changed the names and even made House live at the 221, and he and Wilson live together on an on-and-off basis throughout the series)

Mofftiss give us references to all Holmes adaptations (even the one in which they’re mice)

Moffat actually wrote Johnlock as an interspecies lesbian couple in Doctor Who

I thought it’d be worth a shot to look it up and see if House ever actually had a case of lupus on his hands. And it turns out that he did, actually. In episode 8 (4x2) of season 4, titled You don’t want to know. It’s almost like they’d planned to use this plot since forever ago (the episode aired for the 1st time somewhen between 2007 and 2008) ;)

(Btw, I’m getting my information on this episode of House MD from Mycroft Wikipedia and this transcript, so if you see something wrong or inaccurate feel free to correct me)

Also: Huge spoilers for both House MD and Sherlock.

Essentially there are 3 main plotlines in this episode, and I feel they’re all somewhat relevant to Sherlock in general and TST in particular

The patient of the week

The patient in this episode is a magician whose heart stopped when he was dumped in a tank full of water. (wow, we’re already off to a great start)

There’s also a bit about the magician bleeding in an MRI because he’d swallowed a key for one of his tricks (so of course the MRI’s magnet ripped it out of his intestines).

Then the magician’s nose starts bleeding profusely, and someone on House’s team suggest it was due to cocaine use.

But House thinks the cardiac arrest is a symptom of something more serious, so he orders a biopsy on the magician’s heart while 2 of his team go to the patient’s appartment, where they find an old fortune-telling machine (think of Sherlock’s premonition lines in t6t), rabbits (Rosie’s pink rabbit onesie, and Rosie’s mirror Bluebell the glowing rabbit) and marijuana (Mrs Hudson’s herbal soothers). So they theorize that one of the rabbits could have given the magician pericarditis (inflamation of the envelope around the heart, ie burnt his heart). Let me rephrase that: they think a rabbit(John’s baby) caused the magician(Sherlock)’s heart to start burning

However, House then diagnoses the patient with tularemia from his rabbits. Interesting fact about tularemia: symptoms include  

fever, lethargy, loss of appetite, signs of sepsis, and possibly death [...] The face and eyes redden and become inflamed. (blind Sherlock theory, anyone ?)

The patient then has bleeding around his heart, which could be a sign of cancer, so House tells his underlings to find the cancer.

The patient then predicts he’ll die the following day (again, Sherlock’s premonition in T6T + TRF in which Sherlock realizes Moriarty’s plan is to get him to kill himself, and he fakes his death the following day), which is “confirmed” when the doctors find out that he has a lot of internal bleeding.

The team then has 2 new theories: contaminated blood transfusion (Sherlock certainly had a blood transfusions after Mary shot him, and I’ve seen theories that Sherlock is drugged throughout T6T), or amyloidosis (an accumulation of amyloid in the body -- “A rare development [of amyloidosis] is a susceptibility to bleeding with bruising around the eyes, termed "racoon-eyes"”) (sounds like red-eyed Sherlock pics during setlock).

The patient then has a grand mal seizure ( “type of generalized seizure that affects the entire brain. Tonic–clonic seizures are the seizure type most commonly associated with epilepsy and seizures in general, though it is a misconception that they are the only type”. -- and we suspect that Sherlock’s brain is being affected by something) and a kidney failure, which convinces House that the patient has amyloidosis. But the treatment requires irradiation for a bone-marrow transplant, so they have to prove this decisively. 

Eventually House suggests they test the contaminated blood theory on himself, since he has universal receiver blood type; the transfusion does make him sick, but not with the same symptoms as the patient, so he insists that it is amyloidosis and refuses to let anyone examine him. Eventually Thirteen (the openly bisexual recurring character) drugs House’s tea (see the Sherlock is being drugged theory again) to test his organs while he is unconscious and buy time for the team to test the amyloidosis theory (which House realizes as soon as he wakes up). When he complains that she drugged him, she answers that he drugged her (first). And this has interesting implications for what’s happening on Sherlock. Could this mean that John is drugging Sherlock for his own good somehow? For instance to keep Sherlock into a coma so that his body heals? If EMP theory is correct and John has power of attorney over Sherlock, it’s very possible.

Wilson (obviously Watson to House’s Holmes) stops by House’s office, and their conversation about blood types causes House to realize that his patient has lupus. (because that’s another thing I remember from House MD: often talking with Wilson about more or less unrelated topics causes House to get to the correct diagnosis for his patients -- Wilson is House’s conductor of light, if you will). 

And House then deduces correctly that he finally has a case of lupus. 

So given that “It’s never twins” is a similar recurring “joke” that we’ve had in 2 episodes already, after Sherlock solved a case where the solution was twins, I think one of the main characters actually has/had a twin, and we will learn more about them in TLD.

And there’s probably going to be something wrong with Sherlock’s eyes.

Thirteen’s Huntington’s chorea

It’s also the episode in which House and the audience learn that Thirteen’s mother died of Huntington's chorea (a neurodegenerative disease), and that if she has inherited it, she only has about 12 years left to live. (doomed to die after a long illness like Emilia Ricoletti in TAB). 

She refuses to be tested for the disease however, and when House has her saliva tested in secret and presents her with the results, she refuses to look at them because she says that not knowing makes her live her life to the fullest (a reasoning that House doesn’t understand at 1st, but that he seems to accept at the end of the episode). (one reason for the episode’s title)

However, we learn in a later episode that she does have Huntington’s chorea.

It is also later revealed that Thirteen went to prison because she euthanised her brother, who also suffered from Huntington's, out of a promise she made to him to end his life when it was time. In "After Hours", Thirteen risks the life of a friend to fulfill her promise to her, leading Chase to theorize that if Thirteen commits herself to keeping all her promises, she does not need to blame herself for killing her brother and can, instead, blame the promise. Thirteen later tells him he is right, and that she is scared the guilt will consume her and destroy her life. 

(and my heart is breaking as I consider this, but could Sherlock’s childhood trauma be that he had to euthanize a sibling? It would fit with the emphasis T6T put on the vow he made in TSOT)

Thirteen is also closeted to her father in regards to her sexual orientation (and illness). (sure sounds like John)

Cuddy’s panties

In this episode, House also challenges his team to bring him Lisa Cuddy’s thong, without her knowing about the challenge (as a means to test whether they can break rules without getting caught). Since Lisa Cuddy is the hospital’s director and their boss, the challenge seems near impossible. However, as a reward the winner gets to nominate 2 other competitors, and House says he’ll fire one of the nominees.

First Amber (Wilson’s future late wife) and another underling try to trick House into taking Amber’s underwear (and making him think it’s Cuddy’s), but he isn’t fooled (wrong color).

Then it turns out another underling, Cole, actually obtains Cuddy’s panties and gives them to House. (since Cole’s nickname is Big Love because he is a Mormon, and the love triangle between Mary, John and Sherlock in T6T, I’m pretty sure he’s a John mirror, or rather, that Mofftiss cast John as Cole when they took inspiration from this story)

At 1st House is puzzled as to how he got it, but when Cole nominates his friend to be eliminated, House realizes that Cole made a deal with Cuddy to get the thong.

Since the objective of the exercise was to find out which of the underlings could conspire with House to trick Cuddy, and that Cole did the opposite (conspired with Cuddy to trick House), House fires him. 

Subtext-wise, that could translate to Sherlock as Sherlock thinking he’s conspiring with John, and finding out that John is conspiring with someone else (my bet is on Mycroft, he has authority over the other characters but still has to answer to other people, like Cuddy) to trick Sherlock. Which could lead to Sherlock (temporarily) rejecting John (just like House fired Cole)

Just a magic trick

Another nice touch of the episode is House himself doing magic tricks with cards and debunking magic tricks, so we kwon for sure that House=the magician=Holmes=Sherlock.

There’s a conversation between House and the magician at some point, in which House asks his patient how he did a particular magic trick and the latter says “Ah, if I explain, it becomes mundane”. But House insists that “The fun is in knowing”. (so subtextually it’s House asking himself really)

Basically, this conversation/episode is about whether it’s more fun to know or not to know how a trick was done (hence the episode title, and also reminiscent of Sherlock refusing to tell John how he did his “magic trick”, ie faked his death in TEH). And if you’re a fan of Sherlock Holmes, you probably agree that for us the fun is in knowing how it was done -- that’s the whole point of the mystery genre.

And the episode confirms this. True, House never got to know how the magician’s tricks were done, but he solved the important mysteries of the episode:

What caused all of the magician’s symptoms (lupus); House even gets him to admit that he dos want to know what his illness is.

Why Thirteen got so afraid when she accidentally dropped something (Thirteen’s mother had Huntington’s chorea and in a later episode we learn that Thirteen does have Huntington’s chorea)

How Cole obtained Cuddy’s underwear (he made a deal with her).

TL; DR:

I’m calling it now:

TLD (ie episode 2 of season 4) will give us more information about the mysterious twin we’ve been waiting for; knowing Mofftiss, it could even be an actual (Evil?) Twin story done right.

It will probably deal with Sherlock’s eyes being impaired (possibly even blinded)

It may also deal with Sherlock finally explaining exactly how (and why) he faked his death in TRF to John

AND WE WILL HAVE EXPLICIT CONFIRMATION THAT SHERLOCK AND JOHN ARE IN LOVE IN TLD.

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8 Ways to Read the Books You Wish You Had Time For

Neil Pasricha

When I tell people this, most say, “Oh, yes, for sure, yes.” But then two seconds later, they say “I just wish I had the time.”

Well, you know what? I’m calling shenanigans on that excuse. Because the truth is we do have the time.  A University of California report shows we’re consuming more information now than we ever have before — more than 100,000 words per day. Think about how many texts and alerts and notifications and work emails and personal emails and news headlines and fly-by tickers and blog feeds and Twitter spews and Instagram comments you’re reading each day.

With all that garbage reading, who has time for books anymore?

In an earlier HBR piece called “8 Ways to Read (a Lot) More Books This Year,” I shared how for most of my adult life I read five books a year, tops. I had a few slow burners on my nightstand, and read a couple of books on vacation if I was lucky. But then three years ago, I read fifty. Fifty books! In one year. I couldn’t believe it. I could suddenly feel books becoming this lead domino towards being a better husband, a better father, and a better writer.

Since then, I’ve tried doubling down on reading. I’m now reading somewhere above 100 books a year. Sure, I sometimes hit slow patches, and bare patches, and slip into social media black holes. But here are eight more things I do to get back on track:

1. Live inside a world of books. Most people have a bookshelf “over there,” where the books live. But one day last year, my wife just dumped a pile of about ten picture books in the middle of our coffee table. What happened? Our kids started flipping through them all the time. So now we just rotate them and leave them there. It’s a path-of-least-resistance principle, much like how Google leaves healthy snacks on the counter for employees, while chocolates are hidden away in cookie jars. We’ve put the TV in the basement, installed a bookshelf near our front door, and slipped books into car seat pouches and various nooks around the house. Argentinian writer Jorge Luis Borges said: “I cannot sleep unless I am surrounded by books.” This is how we now choose to live. (Even if you’re trying to declutter, or don’t have a lot of space to store books, you can always visit your local library for books and return them when you’re done.)

2. Go “red” in bed. My wife generally falls asleep before I do, and that’s when I strap my red reading light on my forehead. Why red? Michael Breus, author of The Power of When says the theory is that red light aids melatonin production. And bright lights have the opposite effect, according to The Sleep Health Foundation of Australia. Too-bright lights, or a bright screen, can make you feel more alert. Bedtime reading should help you wind down, not wind you up.

3. Make your phone less addictive. Cell phones are a distraction machine. Our cell phones are designed to be smooth, sexy, and irresistible. Don’t believe me? The book Irresistible by Stern School of Business associate professor Adam Alter will quickly raise your awareness of the addictive designs going into smartphones. They’re like pocket slot machines. So how do you resist the urge to reach for it? Make it less appealing. Move all of the apps off the main screen so it’s blank when you open it. Leave your cracked screen cracked. Move your charger to the basement so it’s an extra step in your low-resilience nighttime and morning moments. If you must have your phone in the room while you sleep, enable “Do Not Disturb” mode to automatically block calls and texts after 7 p.m. Slowly, slowly, slowly, you can prevent your phone from becoming so seductive.

4. Use the Dewey Decimal System. How do you organize your books? By color? By when you bought them? By big random piles everywhere? There’s a reason every library uses the Dewey Decimal System. It makes sense. Books fall neatly into ever-more-thinly-sliced categories around psychology and religion and science and art and…everything. What’s the benefit? You make connections. You see where your big gaps are. I spent one Saturday organizing my books according to the Dewey Decimal System and, in addition to scratching an incredibly deep organizational itch, I now find books faster, feel like my reading is more purposeful, and am more engaged in what I read, because I can sort of feel how it snaps into my brain. What tools do you need to do this? Just two: I bookmarked classify.oclc.org to look up Dewey Decimal Numbers for any books which don’t have a DDC code on the inside jacket, and I use the Decimator app to look up what that number means. Oh, and I use a pencil to write the Dewey Decimal code and the category on the inside jacket of each book before putting it on the shelf.

5. Use podcasts and BookTube to solve the “next book” dilemma. As you start ramping up your reading rate, the biggest problem soon becomes “Well, what should I read next?” Going beyond piles in airport bookstores and what’s trending on bestseller lists means plunging into backlists and bookstore side-shelves to get intentional about finding the books that really change your life. In an era of infinite choice, the value of curation skyrockets. Podcasts and BookTubers (a subset of YouTubers focused on books) are now a reader’s curation dream machine. Where to start? In podcasts, “What Should I Read Next?” by Modern Mrs. Darcy tackles the problem head on and “Get Booked” by Amanda Nelson at BookRiot offers custom book recommendations. I also have my own show “3 Books,” during which we ask guests like Chris Anderson of TED, Judy Blume, or Chip Wilson to share three books that most shaped their lives. And: BookTube? Yes, BookTube. There’s a great overview of it here, and some starter channels to get you hooked are Ariel Bissett and polandbananasBOOKS.

6. Unfollow all news. Sure, sure, I preached before about how I cancelled my five magazine and two newspaper subscriptions to focus solely on books. But you know where the news followed me? Online. That’s where you need to go hardcore: Unfollow every news site on social media, and remove all bookmarks to news sites (remove all passwords, too). Remember what political scientist Herbert Simon said: “What information consumes is rather obvious: it consumes the attention of its recipients. Hence a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention, and a need to allocate that attention efficiently among the overabundance of information sources that might consume it.” (Want to go deeper here? I recommend reading “Why You Should Stop Reading News” on Farnam Street and “Five Things You Notice When You Quit The News” on Raptitude.)

7. Read on something that doesn’t do anything else. As author Seth Godin told me in an interview, “People rarely read a book in iBooks because you’re one click away from checking your email.” If we can be interrupted, alerted, or notified, we will. That’s not good for diving deep into new worlds. So what do I suggest? Real books. Real pages. On real paper. Yes, I’m OK with killing trees if it means gaining the ability to disappear into your own mind. Only real books let you be the full director of the show, after all. No voice replaces your mental voice, no formatting or display screen affects the artistic intentions of the writer. Sure, I get it if you need bigger fonts, or if you drive all day and prefer audiobooks, but I’m just saying that if you want to be a real book snob for the rest of your life just like me, actual books are where it’s at. And, if you must use a device, just make sure that e-reader can’t receive texts.

8. Talk to your local booksellers. My favorite bookseller of all-time is Sarah Ramsey of Another Story Books in Toronto. I walk in, I start blabbering, I start confessing, I share what I’m struggling with, and she hmms and hahs and sizes me up as we wander around the store talking for half an hour. She finds: a good book after my divorce, a good book before my trip to Australia, a good book as I struggle with my kids. And then I walk out with an armload of books that completely fit my emotional state, where I want or need to grow, and those that resonate with me on a deeper level. If you believe humans are the best algorithm (as I do), then walking into your local independent bookstore, sizing up the Staff Picks wall to see who’s interests align with yours, and then asking them for personal picks is a great way to find books you’ll love faster. (Here’s a list of indie bookstores in the U.S. if you want a place to start.)

So are you ready to read? Raring to go? Or are you one of those people who first needs to hear some rock-solid science to help change your behavior? If you need another couple of reasons: In 2011, The Annual Review of Psychology said that reading triggers our mirror neurons and opens up the parts of our brains responsible for developing empathy, compassion, and understanding. Reading makes you a better leader, teacher, parent, and sibling. Another study published in Science Magazine found that reading literary fiction helps us improve our empathy and social functioning. And, finally, an incredible 2013 study at Emory University found that MRIs taken the morning after test subjects were asked to read sections of a novel showed an increase in connectivity in the left temporal cortex — the area of the brain associated with receptivity for language. Just imagine the long-term benefits of cracking open a book every day.

https://hbr.org/2019/04/8-ways-to-read-the-books-you-wish-you-had-time-for?utm_campaign=hbr&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social