romance
supercorptober 2023
"we melt into each other with phrases. We are edged with mist. We make an unsubstantial territory." - Virgina Woolf
----
Kara loved Lena.
Kara had loved Lena for a long time.
But there was a difference in loving Lena now.
It was hard to notice the difference at first.
Because there were some things that were the same.
The comfort of soft smiles and quick touches.
The sound of a quiet 'Darling' uttered across a room or a lingering heartbeat filling its whole space.
But still, there was loving Lena then, and there was loving Lena now.
----
The sound of the water running woke her up.
She opened her eyes slowly, taking in the familiar surroundings of Lena's bedroom.
Another thing that was different.
Kara smiled as Lena moved around the shared space, humming softly.
She loved that she only ever hummed when she was too tired to realize it.
Lena turned around and caught her staring.
"I didn't mean to wake you," Lena said softly.
"It's okay," Kara replied, sitting up and letting the covers drop to her waist. "I was just admiring the view."
Lena chuckled as she walked over to the bed, sitting down next to Kara, kissing her softly.
Another thing that was different now, too.
"How was your day." Kara reached up to tuck a stray hair behind her ear.
"Utterly exhausting," Lena replied, leaning into Kara's touch.
"Do you need me to beat anyone up? Get you scones from that bakery in Dublin tomorrow? Some other romantic gesture?" Kara joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"No." She shook her head with a small smile, "no, this is enough." kissing her again.
Kara felt Lena's hand linger on her thigh before she stood up from the bed, retreating with slow, tired steps back towards the bathroom, her hands untucking the hem of her blouse as she went. Kara watched the pull of her muscles as she moved, felt that territory between loving Lena before and after blend together into the pale skin of her back.
She pulled off the covers and slipped out from under them. When she stepped into the bathroom, the water running was already echoing off the tiled walls. Lena was still standing in front of the mirror.
"Let me help you," Kara said softly, stepping behind her, fingers moving carefully to the buttons of Lena's blouse.
Lena closed her eyes, giving in readily to Kara's gentle touch. The blouse slipped from her shoulders and fell to the floor, and Kara's fingertips grazed Lena's collarbone as she undid the clasp of her bra. She could feel her breath quicken and her own heartbeat do the same. Her bra joined the blouse. Then, piece by piece, so did the rest.
Kara helped Lena step over the edge of the steaming bath. The hot water enveloped her body.
Kara knelt beside the tub. "Is this okay?" she asked, uncertainty in her voice.
Lena nodded, eyes still closed as the warmth of the water seeped into her skin.
Kara's fingers worked the shampoo into a lather in Lena's hair, trying to be gentle, unhurried.
"Tilt your head back," she murmured.
Lena leaned back into Kara's palm as she rinsed the suds from her hair. The warm water cascaded over her shoulders.
Lena shivered at the contact, goosebumps rising on her bare skin.
Kara hesitated. "Are you cold?"
"No," Lena whispered.
Her fingers traced idle patterns on Lena's arm all the same.
Lena reached out, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind Kara's ear, her fingers lingering on Kara's cheek.
Kara leaned into the touch, her lips parting slightly.
And if loving Lena could feel all different kinds of ways, then kissing her certainly felt different in all kinds of ways too — could mean all different kinds of things too.
Slowly, tentatively, Lena drew Kara's face towards hers. Their breath mingling, cheeks brushing. Lena hesitated just a second, searching Kara's eyes for any sign of doubt — she knew she would find none.
Their lips met. Soft at first. But then Kara's hand came up to cradle Lena's neck, pulling her toward her, edges blurring further and further between all the new ways she had of loving her.
When they finally broke apart, both were panting. Kara rested her forehead against hers.
"Is this okay?" Lena murmured, caressing her cheek.
And Kara realized then that this all felt different to Lena, too. Felt new, too. Felt maybe even a little unknowable.
"Yeah...y-yes" Kara breathed.
Lena reached out again; this time, her hands found the bottom of Kara's shirt, already wet from the water that had spilled over.
Kara stood up, quickly pulling it off and quickly letting the rest follow.
She sank into space behind Lena, the water rising as she settled back against her. Kara's fingers grazed the surface of the water, tracing where the two met.
Some things that were the same.
"You're so beautiful," she whispered.
Some things were different.
Lena's skin flushed, and Kara's heart swelled.
She pressed her lips along the back of Lena's neck.
"Just for future reference."
"Yeah." Kara nodded and leaned in for another kiss.
"This is much more romantic than scones."
She chuckled, smiling into Lena's skin, "What about beating someone up for you?"
"Right now, I'm going to say yes. But honestly, it might depend."
"Noted. Very, very noted."
Kara's fingers traced the line of Lena's spine, spreading out across her ribs and dipping beneath the water, Lena's hips instinctively moving forward into Kara's touch.
Below the surface, it was hard to tell where they each started and ended.
Just like it was hard to tell when loving Lena had started and ended.
And even if there was a difference between loving her before and loving her now.
She was sure she was made to love her always.
---
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