#or like some parts exposed some not
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i thiiink that brutalism is abt as close as u can get to getting a building to b naked
#or other raw materials! esp wood brick stone w/e#none of that veneer shit..#i loooove it when buildings have like their pipes and beams exposed actually#or like some parts exposed some not#its like lingerie#im not a buildingfucker though#not yet
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I want to be able to talk with you about so many things but mostly I want to listen to you talk. I want to soak your voice in, watch as your facial expressions change, notice patterns in your sentence structure. What do you like to talk about? How do you like to talk about it? Do you dance around things, refusing to say things outright? Do you bounce around from topic to topic? Let me learn about you.
#basementstalker posts#lovesick#obsessive love#possessive love#yandere thoughts#yandere community#actually yandere#irl yandere#for the most part i prefer listening and keeping my own thoughts hidden#some parts (Isaiah *cough cough*) love talking but even he likes to hide his true thoughts#even with the people I've felt closest to I can't seem to expose myself entirely#I truly love learning what makes someone tick though. people are fascinating and I nean that as a compliment
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To be honest I think a lot of the horror of Elias comes from just how unlikely it is for someone to notice he’s missing
#He doesn’t have anyone close to him and the few people who do know him are only exposed to the casual smiling mask he puts#One that Elias could easily mimic or hell might even be close to the way Elias normally acts given that he has a similar propensity for#masking. Plus ogElias was never stupid. In fact he was known to be very smart. he just didn’t try to reach his full potential. also he didnt#even get high THAT often. he tried to be respectable and put some effort into preparing for an interview with James Wright#In fact the way he yearns for respect. the way he says he’s afraid of spiders. the way he is marked by the eye. hell even the implied#neglectful parent makes me read him as a parallel to Jon.#Which as we know acts pretty similarly to Elias#all things considered#Also Elias was ambitious. Sure he didn’t have the motivation to grab life by the horns as it were but he always thought he was meant for#something better. bigger. and that’s also part of what made his body snatching feel so cruel.#and o feel like a lot of these little tragic details are often ignored by the fandom#Elias Bouchard#original Elias Bouchard#TMA#the Magnus archives
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Yu after being the only member of the investigation team to not have to face his own shadow:
#imagine having to face your true self and have your deepest most vulnerable thoughts be exposed to people to gain your persona#and then finding out some random mf gets his persona right off the bat w no issues at all#if I was a part of the investigation team I’d be a LITTLE salty about it like come on#persona 4#p4#yu narukami
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doing dishes isn't supposed to be a monumental task but you know what sometimes it is and I can't explain why. anyway today I did all the dishes in my apartment yay me
#some of them were from way too long ago...#not going to expose myself too much but yeah it was definitely unhealthy#also fun fact: did you know it's not an actual law of the universe that pots and pans and cooking untensils and cutting boards and so on#have to be washed by hand?#i thought this was like. universal truth#maybe it was that way before when things weren't made to be dishwasher safe but uh they make full cookware sets t#that go in the dishwasher#like on purpose#so anyway instead of following a rule that works so strongly against me that it often prevents me from being able to cook for myself#I'm going to use dishwasher safe pots and pans and not carry guilt for taking an 'easy' or 'lazy' way out of dishes#i know I've been away a long while but it's bc things were um quite bad for a bit there and I'm still coming out of it#and part of that is going to involve figuring out what habits and rules are working against me and this is one of them so i wanted to share#also i miss you all :')#i dont have the full energy yet for tumblr but will try to be back in jan#personal
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I'm finally exiting my "not like other girls" era and choosing to listen to popular music from my tweenagerhood that I refused to listen to back then, and may i just say that What Makes You Beautiful is... unironically a banger?
#needless to say. i was homeschooled. so i was not forcibly exposed to these things in middle school#which makes for some...interesting discoveries... like the fact that i missed out on some actually really fun music...#the funny part is that i used to take pride in never listening to one direction and then i randomly heard this song one day#and i was like 'oh this is a bop! who is this by?' and then nearly flipped a table when i found out#jessica's non writing nonsense
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Good morning to everyone except the anon(s?) throwing fits in my inbox over the silly question I asked last night ! <3 /p
#i rlly hope its just one bc if not thats kinda wild ! like calm down im not trying to 'expose' anyone ajakshaks#just wanted to get some clarity. anyways this is part of why im taking a break jeez. like get it together.#talking
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I originally wrote after seeing a post joking about a very serious thing that happened to dan and phil back in 2012.
I wrote it because the post triggered some really upsetting memories for me. I had gone through that exact thing on a smaller scale and it ruined my life for a long time.
I was going to delete it because it seemed too far and too personal.
But, I think people should read it anyway.
imagine if you posted private thoughts & photos of yourself to a place where you are certain only you and maybe, at most, 20 or so people will see them-
its your only safe place...
now imagine if suddenly a lot more than 20 people find out who you are. like millions of people. and, despite your best efforts, they find what you thought was your most deeply hidden secrets.
oh shit...
your employers see them. your coworkers see them. your friends all know now. oh god your fucking family have now seen that. All of it sent to them by some of the many complete strangers that watch you online.
oh fuck nonono...
What do you even do? What do you even say? You have no idea who or how many have seen.
maybe everyone has.....
There is nothing you can do but try to minimize the damage being done. all by yourself.
its just impossible..
what feels like the entire planet is pointing, laughing, calling you slurs and telling you to kys
you seriously consider it for a moment...
you have to just go on silently pretending that nothing happened at all. Live. On. Camera. in front of the entire fuckin world
How the fuck would you feel?
#let those damn photos die please#sorry this isn't directed at any one specific#i feel like people just have zero understanding of how bad things got for dan here#like social media was far more interconnected than it is now#it took no time at all for everyone to collectively find out about all of this it was like watching a wildfire going out of control#this was a small part of a really heartbreaking series of unfortunate events around the time#dan has repeatedly stated how traumatic this time period was for him#please let these men finally have some peace and safety for once let certain things go into the abyss#just really wish people understood how it actually feels to be in this position#from personal experience#it fucking sucks it makes you feel so so bad about yourself and dirty and exposed it never leaves your mind#it was supposed to be safe..#in reference to d+p
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me: hey brain if you could stop being a jealous motherfucker that’d be great
my brain: [continues staring at art people have made for other things that are similar to my things and becoming more and more spiteful that they aren’t making art of my things]
#ugh and the worst part is I will never ever gain the popularity of the other things#they absolutely deserve all of the attention and love that they get but my stuff is almost as good#and just bc it didn’t get the same kind of following during a certain window it will never get a chance to be exposed like that again#and like. The other things are what inspired me to do my things#but. but I still want some attention and I know I’ll never get that#and so I’m just. ugh. urgh. raugh. yyeah
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rant <3
#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc#she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities#+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family#so this shouldnt surprise her this much#why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too#she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh#and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith#but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion#w an agnostic no less#ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu???#and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable#especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to#expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends#anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable#shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying#cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird#also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me#why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life#maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man
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omg i may have just added another stommy-not-stommy fic to my wips 👀
#i say stommy not stommy bc it is very much one sided on tommy's part and also features steddie sooooo#👀👀👀#i saw a tweet went '... what if...' kept scrolling then like an hour later opened a note on my phone to start jotting down a VERY BASIC ide#which then snowballed and now i have a little bit of dialogue and some beginning expose and Tommy Lore and and and#i am rubbing my lil raccoon hands together rn#mack writes
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‘the most crucial skill that a good drinksmith needs is listening… drinksmithing is all about having conversations with your guests’
tea house owner!reader energy for real
#my mind shot straight there when siobhan said this in the hsr event#hey guys#what if i just steal the concept of the event and write a continuation?#the reader does spy on people and accept bribes for jobs blah blah blah#but they also offer free therapy over tea!#(but only if they like the person if course) (everyone else is getting eavesdropped on)#…i started writing this as a joke but hey it could be fun#if i ever write a continuation of that fic i might do something like that#high cloud quintet members coming for therapy after baiheng dies#reader helping couples talk through problems in their relationship calmly#i’m a sucker for characters who are very elusive and sneaky and cold but when it comes to it have a heart of gold#‘yes i will expose your enemy’s business blah blah but hang on let me help this lost child find their parents first’#‘oh you’re not being patient? you think your rivalry is more important than this child? actually you can keep the money and leave thank you#[turning to child] ‘now tell me where you last saw your parents’#and with their connections from the various dealings they’ve had around the xianzhou they’d be really good at dealing with these situations#and with regards to the jing yuan aspect of things i firmly believe he needs somebody with kindness and warmth in them to fall for them#reader can’t all be bribery and dodgy deals#imagining him coming to the shop one day to get some information they’ve gathered or whatever#and they’re like ‘shush not now i’m hearing this girl vent about her shit partner’#or doing something nice#and he falls even harder#sorry i have gone on an absolute tangent here#i don’t know what demon possessed me#maybe i will write a part two who knows#that reader would certainly be a fun one to flesh out#r’s random thoughts
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The most disappointing thing about Roshi is that there are glimpses of a legitimately interesting character in there but it’s completely and utterly covered up by so much utter disgusting trash it’s not worth it.
#tbd#// i'm almost recovered so i was watching db and like#// roshi actually has moments where it's like wow i wish we got more of this instead of the rest of him#// he has good moments with krillin and tien and goku and nam i don't think he really interacted with yamcha#// hell even in super his top episode i felt was actually intriguing it was just that it was still ROSHI so i couldn't afford to care#// idk why i'm even putting this out there i guess i'm exposing myself for liking some parts of a bad character#// then again i like JACO so my tastes have always been questionable
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dumping this here bc i dont feel like posting it anywhere else
#finally stylized his scars in a way that i like and can do consistently#i always draw them differently bc im so indecisive#but i always make sure to add some greens and purples in there#im happy with how this turned out and WILL be drawing his scars like this FOREVVERRRR#im actually very particular abt the colors i use for him#i like to use a tanish/pinkish base for his skin#bc burn scars but also i hc him as half indigenous (on his mom's side)#and then the green and purples bc i like when ppl make him look a bit zombieish... IT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME#and even his suit colors like#the black parts are greenish and the red is always more on the magenta side but a bit darker/dirtier and unsaturated#compared to the colors i use for peter which is more#of a pinkish red like almost salmon and then a sort of turquoise blue#just very vibrant#i also like to draw wade with one of his cheeks ripped out/exposed#again zombieish#I PUT A LOT OF LOVE INTO HIM OKAY
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.
#as someone who was in abusive relationships (one of them physically abusive)#and who exposed another abuser once#some of the reactions to the excerpts and the twitter summary of maya's book have been a bit triggering ^^;#like ppl not actually reading/listening and taking in what she is saying#but jumping to conclusions and generalizing#also ones who want to support her and claim to 'believe the victim' (but don't actually read the whole story she's telling first)#that happened to me as well and it fell back on me; not them lol#i suppose it's a normal consequence in these scenarios and there are also people who listen and take in what you're saying!#but they obviously don't make as much noise#(p.s. I'm reading it now -free trial of kindle unlimited- maybe I'll say something about it after I'm finished maybe not)#(it could have done with some serious editing and a digital format for the digital edition)#(so far parts that are fictional are very obvious)#(ziall are american style conservative religious brothers with purity rings - but british :3)#(btw i don't think people should feel bad about pirating it since she talks *so much* about how rich she is lol)#(the class difference between them is actually a really interesting aspect - sth she feels drawn to :/)#(she even exaggerates it making oliver come from a more humble background than the others in the band)
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One thing about my worldbuilding that isn't really important, I just think it's cute: the Pokemon anime is a TV show within the main gameverse and it's meant to educate kids about certain Pokemon while telling it's own story that's very, very, verrry loosely based on Red's journey.
#saying bc castor caught a few episodes of it and hes a fan#i take a few things from it or at least inspirations from it but for the most part its its own thing#also i think red watches the show and really likes it. hes really flattered. blue thinks gary is funny as hell#the main thing i take is the implications behind meowth's character but he's not a legit example of a pokemon learning to talk#idk if that makes sense. also humans assume that each and every pokemon speak the same language#when... its not like they cannot communicate with each other. this is where aura and telepathy kind of come in#every pokemon is capable of some form of telepathy that varies among species#but untrained- they can talk with their own species and others within that family- like canine pokemon can talk to each other#but otherwise nope. they cant really talk with one another. at least not inherently#its something a pokemon can be trained to do like extend their telepathy so that feline and equine pokemon can hear them#and it takes a LOT to learn how to do that with a human#usually caught pokemon naturally learn to do this since theyre usually exposed to a ton of different pokemon#... mayyyybe theres a quality in pokeballs that helps with that? i dont know i havent figured that out yet#also its easier to learn how to hear other species talk than it is to actually speak it#so a lot of caught pokemon can understand what their trainer is saying and ofc can hear battle commands#but they wont be able to actually talk to them#in pmd however this is all completely out the window. all pokemon understand one another and they also understand humans#bc their auras evolved overtime so that telepathy with all pokemon is natural to them#idk why that is yet exactly... i have to iron that out but these are my ideas for now#maybe it was something the legendaries did... it could also just be a side effect of pokemon growing to have their own civilizations#it is VERY weird for castor when he enters bc he hadnt learned telepathy with every type yet but suddenly bam he knows everything#and its very surreal to him to suddenly have a steelix talking to him#echoed voice
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