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witcheswritings · 3 years

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Rest in me

Summary: (Modern!AU) In the aftermath of a terrible accident, Hinata and Sakura struggle to start anew.

Lenght: 3098 words

Author: CireneMQ (Nohara-Cirene)

Translator: Rainbow.feathers (Rainbowfeather)

Fandom: Naruto

Relationships: Sakura Haruno/Hinata Hyuuga

Warnings: Descriptions of severe injury, descriptions of recovery.

Disclaimer: This fanfiction was written as a commission for the very creative @wombatking who was kind enough to prompt us this beautiful idea! If you want to commission us anything don’t be afraid to ask!

September and the leaves lose their color by fall. In a tenuous way, as, little by little, the greenery gives way to ocher tones.

Intricate parallelism with reality that is not yet assimilated; the irrecoverable loss of everyday life and the illusions that take rot like leaves on the ground. Compost for pain, distant hopes that try to sustain the impending collapse of the will.

And the juxtaposition of effort and resentment, of resignation and denial.

Sakura leaves the hospital, withdraws from the care and the smell of antiseptic that for three months have kept her in a different world and now they’re part of a bubble that no longer exists. She returns to the real world with that involuntary feeling that she is living in a very long nightmare, but that sooner or later it will end.

During her recovery, she repeated herself that although it was all bullshit, life would be lighter when she finally returned home. She missed the fresh air, the school, her friends and Hinata.

Yes, her girlfriend had done almost the impossible to stay by her side.

During her stay in the hospital there was not a single day where she did not visit her, even with the pressure that Hiashi exerted on the schedule and mandatory activities for his first-born. Sakura, aware of the peculiar family situation, kept repeating to herself about how lucky she was to have her. There was nothing she could ask for that Hinata hadn't done for her. For that reason, seeing her waiting in front of the door was not at all surprising.

Hinata was there, with the kindest smile in the world and affection coming out of her pores..., and everything that Sakura anticipated that she would feel, the happiness of being free, of returning to "everyday life" with her, turned to bile in her throat; life was not lighter, the nightmare was not going to end.

She tried to smile, but the joy didn't reach her green eyes. Hinata understood instantly, trying to dilute her sadness in the subtle touch of her lips, a moment of tangible calm.

“Let's go home, Sakura.”

Suddenly the world turned upside down. Ordinary details became unrecognizable, from the drive home to sinking into the mattress; the air was different, smelled of cracked faith and a chaotic form of suppressed despair.

“Are you comfortable?”

“Well... it's not like I feel anything.” Vinegary smile that Hinata sweetened with the warmth of her own.

She arranged cushions behind her back, taking special care not to move her abruptly. Sakura gritted her teeth, annoyance stemming from the boredom of being treated with the fragility of a dry leaf, yet she said nothing. It was the truth, the plainly crude and revolting true.

The time, when "Sakura! Sakura!" was chanted by those who attend the soccer games and the adrenaline of scoring a goal ran through her blood, would never return. She was a brittle leaf under the sole of a world that was hers, but that no longer recognized her as someone capable of setting the pace.

Still in grief, she held Hinata's gaze and invoked the iron of her own character; she couldn't give up.

“My mom says the wheelchair they ordered has arrived. I'd like you to help me set it up, it'll be fun, don't you think?”

“Of course! Your strong lungs will do a lot...”

The months of hospitalization were filled with "solutions" to her situation, such as the new computer that, based on voice commands, allowed her to communicate with the world in the same way as she did before. Sakura's mother had taken the time to research all the rehabilitation therapies she could, including pseudo-sciences that promised fantastic results. Sakura agreed to practically all of them, even though they were mentally exhausting.

“I plan to go back to school, although I'm not sure how I'll do it. Mom has her doubts, and I don't want to depend on anyone for that.”

Hinata sat on the mattress, tilting her head and giving her a look full of tenderness. She had known her long enough to know that dependency was unthinkable for the usual Sakura, so she preferred not to pull that string. The Hyuga's hand raised to Sakura’s cheekbone to give her a sympathetic caress that said everything that the pink-haired woman did not want to hear in words; namely, compassion.

“Then, we will have to hurry up so you can handle that chair.”

However, things do not always turn out as you imagine them, Sakura would learn this as soon as her inert body was secured by the security straps to the device. What began with the excitement of starting over ended in tears and anger.

Her lips were dry, and she was annoyed at the failed attempts to get the wheels to obey as Hinata, standing in front of her, urged Sakura to reach her.

“Blow again, Sakura. Remember; a loud puff is forward.”

“I know, I know.”

The lips formed an "o" again and stuck to the bulb. Instantly, the girl released the air forcefully and the wheels began to move, but again drew back as she took a breath before withdrawing completely.

“You have to inhale when you have already removed the mouth from the bulb, otherwise the reader interprets it as you want to go backwards.”

Her jaw was trembling. She had already memorized the theoretical instructions, but putting them into practice was something totally different, something Hinata couldn't understand as much as she wanted to. Sakura clenched her eyelids wanting to calm down, until the sweet voice of her girlfriend pierced her eardrum with the annoyance of a bell.

“Let's see again what the manual says...”

“I already know the fucking manual, Hinata!”

The girl's eyes widened, and she recoiled from her girlfriend's outburst. The anger was evident and even understandable. Sakura Haruno, the one who was a star and was always going a thousand an hour, tied to a chair and without the immediate patience to assimilate it. Hinata looked down and fiddled with her fingers.

“I'm sorry… it wasn't my intention.”

“It’d be better if you go home, I’ve had enough of feeling useless ... For today.”

“I’m really sorry, I…”

“Please, Hinata.”

Although what Sakura said sounded more like an order than to a request, Hinata did not add anything, except for the goodbye kiss that her girlfriend received coldly.

That same cold ended up keeping the girl awake until dawn, but it was the debacle in conjugated tears that each one kept in their respective beds, which encouraged them to do something for the other.

Sakura to apologize for her attitude, Hinata to change her empathy for the love that covers everything, even if she doesn't understand it.

With their hearts set on each other, they recalled the tragic events that led them to end this way.

********************* ********************* ********************* *********************

The darkness was beginning to beat the light. It was getting dark, but visibility still revealed the silhouette of two girls playing next to the pier. Sakura and Hinata, with joviality and tenderness on the cusp of falling in love at their short sixteen, sitting with their feet in the water.

“I will do it! I'll swim to the rock and show you that I could also be the star of the diving team; I don't care what Ino says.”

In between stolen kisses from Sakura and laughter that was heard alongside the first crickets. Hinata was smiling softly, enjoying her girlfriend’s energy that used to fill her with warmth.

“You don't have to prove anything to me, plus you already know Ino.”

Sakura stood up, letting go of her girlfriend's hand. Her will and the desire to feel the adrenaline that conquering every challenge left her, led her to jump into the water and submerge to start swimming to the huge rock that was on the other side.

Hinata looked at her, while she shook her head at the audacity she manifested in everything. That was one of the things that made her fall in love with Sakura; the freedom she lived with. It was a pleasure just to watch her exist, an extreme fascination that the Hyuga couldn't ignore, just like that moment.

The mauve eyes watched her girlfriend's head come out every so often to take a breath, while the distance between them grew. At last, Sakura touched the rock with her hands and instantly turned to look at Hinata and smile at her. The damp feet began to help her climb slowly, making sure twice to hold on firmly to some protrusion and fitting her feet in every nook and cranny.

The effort ended when she was able to sit on the rock and then pull herself up until she was standing on it. Hinata narrowed her eyes, barely appreciating the movement in which Sakura blew her a kiss with her hands and lowered herself to jump.

Sakura, for her part, watched the dark water and her mind made quick calculations of how far she would have to push herself in order to rid herself of the bulging rocks looming below. It was at least five meters high, and the race would have to be sped up to go far enough and land at the proper depth.

She stepped back again, counting back five steps. Good thing the rock was big enough, otherwise no one would have the courage to run and jump, as she was about to do.

3, 2, 1…

The initial impulse was good, Sakura perceived it the same as when she started to run from three quarters of the field towards the goal. It was going from zero to one hundred in just a fraction, but she was more than used to that lift off. The floor was about to run out and with that she prepared to bend her knees a little and take as much momentum as possible in the last two steps.

However, when the right leg leaned against the edge of the rock, the moisture left by herself before, betrayed her in the most brutal way possible.

The foot slipped. Sakura's momentum was nullified and she violently rushed down. The worst of the case is that she already had her center of gravity positioned forward, just a fraction of a second before she slipped. The inertia did its job, Sakura fell headfirst into the water, while the last rays of sunlight allowed Hinata to watch the crash.

Hiashi's daughter's scream occurred as she threw herself into the water to go after her girlfriend. She was never the best at athletics, but this time she didn't give up. Her arms worked their way through the water, swallowing some liquid that she ignored in her desperation to advance.

When she finally arrived, Sakura was sunk beside the rocks, inert as a scandalous amount of blood swirled around them in the scariest landscape she had ever witnessed. She took her in her arms and dragged her so that her head could be in the open air, then she gave her the kiss of life and luckily, the pink haired girl responded promptly. However, what gave her some peace soon turned into a different nightmare.

“I can’t move,”

Hinata's screams overshadowed the crickets, the sound of running water, and the music of some friends who were also enjoying the first party of the summer. Immediately, several approached the lake in order to respond to her call for help.

The next thing Hinata could remember would be the blue and red lights and the sirens that beat her intermittent crying. Paramedics who with a grimace, revealed the terrible state of her girlfriend. Upon arriving at the hospital and after the respective medical tests, Mr. and Mrs. Haruno received the sad news.

X-rays and the subsequent tomographies as well as complementary resonances that confirmed what the doctors had already anticipated: Severe neck injury.

Fourth and fifth vertebrae fractured, with oppression to the spinal cord and consequent injury to it. Loss of mobility and sensation from the neck down, on top of what all of it entailed; paralysis.

The collapse of illusions and dreams. The severed wings of the young woman and the despair and fears that came with it... In addition, guilt on Hinata, the same guilt that brought her down in the hospital corridor when her girlfriend's mother explained the situation to her.

The debacle of a newly blossomed button and the broken heart of whoever witnessed it right before their eyes.

********************* ********************* ********************* *********************

With the rays of the sun lighting up the sky, Hyuga left the comfort of the sheets to gain ground on all the tasks that her father overloaded on her shoulders.

She fulfilled this, yearning to make Hiashi change his mind and give her dreams a chance. The same dreams that, with what happened with Sakura, took on greater strength and filled her psyche with decision.

Hinata would be a nurse, she’d take care of people's lives with her characteristic tenderness, but she would spice up her courage with the strength that her girlfriend showed... And she would start immediately.

She changed her clothes to more decent ones and descended the stairs with renewed will. The sleepless night and the memories strengthened her walk and she tried to stay that way.

In no time, she was, once again in front of the Haruno's front door and they let her in with their usual kindness. If they had anything to be grateful for, it was the time and heartfelt support she provided for their daughter.

Hinata knocked on the door of her girlfriend's room and the characteristic "come in" didn't wait, nor did she have to say anything before Sakura spit out the same thing that hadn't let her sleep the night before.

“Before you say anything, I need you to forgive me. Yesterday I was..., it's no excuse, but...”

“You don't have to say anything, I'm sorry to pressure you like that.”

“No, Hinata, listen to me...”

“I don't want to hear it. Just tell me what clothes do you want to wear, let's go out.”

Sakura frowned. Although she understood what was coming out of Hinata's mouth, she couldn’t digest the intention behind it, nor that firmness in her voice, something completely out of the ordinary in her.

“Go out? Where?”

“On a date.”

With more love than Sakura thought she deserved, Hinata took time to help her get dressed. As they did so, she kept talking about the activities she had planned to do together at school. Sakura's green eyes scrutinized her girlfriend's movements and expressions, her throat tightened in a knot and the feelings that threatened to break out of her orbs, condensed into tears.

Gritting her teeth, she drowned out the tears and blamed the sunlight for crystallizing her eyes. Hinata smiled, she knew she was hiding behind a lie, but she wasn't going to dig; she wasn't going to expose her.

“Alright, dear. Let's go!”

Ten minutes later, they were walking down the sidewalk on their way to the park. It was the first time that Sakura had transcended the world from her wheelchair and that filled her with an inhospitable vulnerability.

She barely spoke, the silence was filled by the banal comments of the other, in addition to the noise of the cars moving down the street.

The habit of going for an ice cream before taking a seat on their favorite bench, was a routine that both maintained as something sacrosanct, and this time would be no exception.

Hinata asked for two cones, the same flavors as always, the vendor handed them to her while looking curiously at Sakura in the chair. Hinata caught that and directed him her sharpest gaze, intimidating him with the hostility he perceived in her.

She paid and turned around, suppressing the kindness that characterized her in order to teach a lesson to the vendor who was watching Sakura with that rude curiosity. But when she got to her, she realized that it would be difficult to maneuver with two ice cream cones and at the same time push the chair.

Sakura looked away, not wanting to see her struggle accommodating both ice creams in one hand and taking her to their bench with the other. Feeling humiliated, she endured the grief of the situation until they were both face to face; Hinata on the bench, Sakura tied to her hopelessness.

“Do you want to try mine?”

In a simple question, the pink haired girl broke down. She was not even able to eat a little ice cream on her own, something so easy and absurd became impossible in her situation and that was only the watershed for everything else that would come; school, life… Bullying.

People like the ice cream vendor, who were used to seeing her energetic and unstoppable, now looked at her like a freak. Sakura's sob could no longer be contained and Hinata could see in the foreground the cry of defeat and doom that split her girlfriend in half.

In another time, she wouldn’t have thought of having the emotional strength to give a word of comfort to anyone, she’d always considered herself as a nerd without charm, a crying girl who depended on everyone; weak, invisible. But since Sakura came into her life, her perspective on herself had taken a momentous turn. That pink-haired girl, with beautiful green eyes, had supported her when needed and taught her every day how valuable she was.

Hinata could never put into words her love for her or her gratitude for everything.

Sakura had built bridges of steel in between Hinata and her inaccessible willpower. It supported her in the fight for her dreams and diluted the negative feelings that stemmed from her father's continued disapproval.

Rising from the bench, she reached for one of the wildflowers growing in the grass. She knew she couldn't ease the pain, but at least she would try to give back a little of everything Sakura had given her. Hinata squatted in front of Sakura, filling her eyes and her smile with love trying to lighten the situation.

“It's going to be difficult, but I'm not going to leave you. I love you.”

With the utmost delicacy in the world, she brushed the cheeks bathed in tears, tracing the path of the salted drops that now trickled like a spring. Sakura paused at the feeling, stunned by her girlfriend's actions.

“Go ahead and get it out. I will hold you, you can rest in me.”

#sakura haruno #haikyuu hinata #sakuhina #naruto fanfiction #commission work #taking commissions #commission #fanfiction #trigger warnings #severe injury

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bookdragonlibrary · 5 years

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Fifth Tuesday YJ appreciation

1-3 ; 4-6 ; 7-9 ; 10-13 ; 14-16 ; 17 ; 18 ; 19 ; 20 ; 21 ; 22 ; 23 ; 24-26

—————————— Quiet Conversations

- 1st January. Ok so this is happening in the same time that part of the previous episode.

- Silas tries desperately to connect back with his son :( Now their motivations are reverse.

- He feels bad :( That’s why he wasn’t there in the previous episode :(

- I love than you still see Fred’s true form in his reflexion. How did you feel Vic? Wait, did he spend the whole day outside?!

- The Father box has spread :(

- Where’s Gar?

- Jeff is there! And so is Dreamer! What didn’t they call the New Gods sooner?

- So Metron is an inventor among New Gods as he created Motherboxes, Fatherboxes and boomtube and his Mobius chair I guess.

- So it was a runaway note :(

- “We’ve talk” Now the Team will ask questions and discover she’s dying.

- So cute Fred wants to stay for his BF and Tara is concerned for Violet.

- Brion is a little bit confused with everything going on...

- Is that a M for Metron? Nope, it’s a nose xD Wait, what? The Source Wall. Source of what? The universe? Are this people? Is it people who are the source of this wall?

- Aw Harper got a bruise :(

- “Must be great to have a lot of people worried about you...” Her father seems pretty careless, yeah.

- Love Tara’s big smile! :D This is promising!

- Dhabar. I suppose this is in Qurac? Violet had to boom tube there.

- Cousin? Oh it’s her mother! But Violet seems pretty emotionless. I mean, of course, she never met her :(

- Can Violet speak Arabic because she remembers it from Gabrielle’s memories or she can speak any languages thanks to the Motherbox technology like Scarab?

- So the Center is built near the Star labs. Erdel initiative again. It’s the Zeta lab. Ed talked about it in the previous episode.

- I wonder how Atantis was designed to be understood underwater. Are Atlantis also lips readers?

- Since they can’t communicate, how did Kaldur know she wants to go?

- This is Eduardo senior.

- A41. There are 40 Leaguers? :o Wait, what is the A designation for already? Since B is for the Team. Kaldur is now 27.

- His magic is rusty but it worked perfectly. Imagine how powerful he would be if he had finished the magic school! :D

- So she’s Indian! :D

- She is happy! :D That should have been so frustrating to not be able to communicate with people. I think they have no idea where she comes from since they can’t hear the language underwater.

- Silas Stone is A42. So Jace just authorized him. Nope. Dr Irons.

- Thanks for the body horror. That wasn’t necessary. I think Vic and Violet are cursed because they are both through enormous pain this season...

- So the nose from earlier belongs to Gog. So all the people in the wall are gods.

- Minosyss Ring. Must be outside our solar system.

- “My brother.” So Clark still considered him as a brother?!

- Put him in a coma? I know it’s logical but still :(

- Jace covers her phone. Should be her mentor. So they isn’t someone she wants the Team to see? Bad news :/

- Whoa! The parademons’ lasers are strong enough to put Superman inconscious :o

- This is a strike! :D

- So Conner has his Kryptonian name: Kon-El!

- “I’m glad to see you.” At least, this has changed :)

- So the League is still after the Furies and stolen minerals to finish whatever machine this was.

- Wait! Granny had finished her machine already?!

- Now the Team now she is also working for Darkseid.

- Clark as his best man? He didn’t have better choice?

- “1.5 Kryptonian” So Conner isn’t 50% from Clark and Lex.

- Harper’s brother, Colin, has a black eye? This can’t be rough housing.

- “If i say anything, you have to tell the authorities.” So Harper is more afraid of being separated from her brother than she is of her dad.

- Why “of Atlantis”? King Orin isn’t sufficiant? Oh it’s for introducing him to the girl :)

- She noticed he lied. Thanks to her meta powers? I know people think she is Dolphin, so maybe she has something similar to their sonar to... feel emotions and feelings of people?

- I love that their gesture of respect is a fist on their forehead, maybe to imitate the sonar of dolphins? This is the tiny details which show a fantasy culture ;)

- Yes, she must talk to her mentor as they’re talking about Violet.

- Brion is sad and lost :(

- Now she says Halo instead of Violet. Why?

- That was a good speech actually. It made him smile again.

- Aw! So Vic was still missing his father :3

- “I am here to watch him die.” Thas wasn’t the plan, dude!

- “I have never seen a Fatherbox completly override an organic system.” Wait to see Violet!

- “Death is common place.” The problem between humans and gods, they don’t see things the same.

- Clever idea, Jeff. And Conner just throw him xD And Metron just stand up like nothing happened xD

- “0.5 of nothing.” Is it because he half human? (mostly)

- Sha’lain’a and Clavin Durham, Kaldur parents! I know he was named after him but I ignored his character was also his adopted father.

- Dolphin (I will call her like that until she has a name, because refering as the girl isn’t pratical) doesn’t like hug. Or to be touched in general? Because of the trauma I think :(

- So Kaldur’s parents adopted her? Hey, Kaldur has a little sister now! I knew he was a good big bro figure! :D (So please don’t ship them, that would be gross I think :/ )

- Calvin comes from San Diego.

- “It is more than I ever received up there.” She should have a heartbreaking backstory :’(

- “I have known bad men” I don’t like when tragic backstory involve a young girl and bad men. They often take the same route... :/

- It’s great someone finally says to Kaldur is a good person :3 We waited for this since season 1 and he particularly deserved it after season 2.

- I live M’gann knows this is a lie but still acts like it’s true to make Harper talk :)

- So Harper has the gun to bring it away from her alcoholic father. And guess let’s try it after I suppose?

- “Alcohol and fire arms, not a good mix.” “Duh!” The call back xD

- I love how she said she’s a big sister protecting her little brother and reminds her she’s a kid too :’( And then telling her it’s normal to be more afraid of a unknown situation (what comes next) than the present situation (which is worse but at least familiar).

- Even her voice is hearbreaking! :(

- Did you notice on the board in the background “Living with abuse is not a life”?

- Violet still wants to “fix” people, meaning bring them peace?

- We see Brion watching Fatherbox’ soul and understand what Violet is/ the difference between Violet and Gabrielle.

- “The soul of the Fatherbox has returned to the source.” So all Mother and Fatherboxes come from the Mobius chair.

- Vic is now Mobius tech. No more Fatherbox. Good news.

- “No and yes.” What is that supposed to mean? And who was he looking at while saying no?

- Finally a hug between Vic and his father! Maybe now Fatherbox isn’t a threat anymore, Vic think it’s safe to be with his dad again :)

- So Violet wanted to heal Gabrielle and go stuck in her body instead. Could it still be possible to resucitate Gabrielle? Can it happen if Violet actually die for real?

- “Everyone reacts differently in difficult times.” Gabrielle’s mother has such a deep philosophy.

- Samad lost his brother and Gabrielle’s mother lost her husband and now her daughter :(

- She is so sweet to Violet! :’(

- Tara and Violet hug!

- M’gann bring Harper and Colin to Child Protective Services. I hope they would have new parents! Who would they be? Someone we know? Would they be heroes too? As Harped is a vigilante in the comics. Batman will adopt her? Or would it be M’gann and Conner?

- Dolphin is happy! :D

- And here is Wyynde, King Orin’s guard/councelor? AND KALDUR’S BOYFRIEND?! This is so great! I knew he was bi in the YJ show! (Edit: Greg said he’s polysexual actually.) This was straightbaiting for people who wanted to ship Kaldur with Dolphin!

- Jace is so happy to see Violet back! :)

- Tara is talking to Slade! And she seems wanting to stop her infiltration mission because it’s a good environment for her! :)

- The message at the end!

It was a really great episode with a lot of happy endings and characters moving on.

#young justice #YJ reviews #watch young justice #watch young justice outsiders

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rina-rambles · 5 years

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Hold On To That Feeling

Daydreaming and feeling overwhelming surges of inspiration is normal for me when I’m separated from the means to write (in other words, my laptop) for any extended period of time. I admit that very few times in my life have been so hugely joyous that a certain urgency to capture it in words lasts past the event. Some people have the gift of being motivational rather than nagging and I fully believe that it is the seven-hour car ride next to Sam and my number one baby that I owe this determination to not procrastinate anymore to.

The happiest and saddest experiences are either the easiest or hardest to put into words. In my grief for Max in 2015, I tried desperately to put into words the sudden sense of mortality I felt, being able to remember him as a little pup as if it were yesterday. But unlike my externally forced graduation speech back in 2010, which told as neutrally as possible of my hellish high school years, I couldn’t find the words for my sweet boy. The ever-expanding graveyard is since that summer where I find my ultimate peace and maybe that’s all I can ever say about it.

Maybe because I’ve admired and looked up to One Tree Hill actress and my idol Shantel Vansanten for so many years now, but I finally understand why she says “I look for inspiration in everything around me.” There was a time when I used to wait for that surge of urgency to write, but now many writing courses and pep talks later I’ve realized that it takes as much determination and focus as it does genuine inspiration to be productive. Every time I have heart-to-heart talks with Sam, I come away feeling more talented and capable for it so I owe it to her and myself to capture all the moments that it brings me joy to think about.

After the family vacation through Bruges in Belgium, the French war memorials and last but far from least Watford’s Warner Bros Studios three years ago, I always regretted not pushing through the procrastination to write about how much lasting joy I gained from October 10 2014. Naturally, it was my psychologist who helped me make use of that day of bliss at every turn, by using the happiness of the memory to put me back in a good headspace during stressful and less joyous times. Because I’ve figured out the key to making memories long-lasting for me personally, it is and always has been music. The more Indian weddings I attend the more certain I am that any Indian function my possible future wedding may have will be a sangeet only. I have a carefully chosen anti-anxiety playlist of positive musical associations and have to give even my least favourite One Tree Hill character, Peyton Sawyer, credit for one truth:

But I digress, being a huge fan of John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars after the film adaptation released in summer 2014, come the sightseeing in Belgium that October it was the soundtrack’s peppy track Boom Clap I tuned into as we walked the quaint streets of Bruge. The film’s love story took place in Amsterdam before terminal cancer turned it tragic and hearing that song on a tourist boat ride in Belgium felt close enough to the movie magic to be a joy to recall.

Seeing the war memorials on the next part of the trip it was my Dad’s excitement and the sheer scale of historical melancholy that made it unforgettable, being there to witness the 100th anniversary of WW1 was obviously an immense and sobering experience. But all that took place before one of the happiest days of my life, the one I’m sure I would think back on if J.K Rowling’s Patronus Charm existed in real life. In a way, I understand how she made the joy-sucking Dementors a metaphor for her own depression because that single day has had the strength to carry me through hard times ever since.

Harry Potter was what turned me into what I define myself as today: a fangirl. The fascinating Marauder era still holds a very special place in a heart no longer seventeen but probably happier than nearly a decade ago. It makes me feel old to think that the first Potter film adaptation came out sixteen years ago, 2001 was incidentally the same year to give the world Karan Johar’s Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, which initiated my ten-year obsession with SRK.

Coming back to the Watford experience, I can safely say it was life-changing: Between Tom Felton’s humorous tour guide recorded narration, the animatronic Buckbeak that actually bowed and blinked and my first taste of Butterbeer, I was floored long before the most exhilarating and then emotional parts of the day. The simulated broom ride which thanks to the souvenir videos and photograph reminds me more than anything else how happy that day was, is still something I just have to watch to feel intense surrealism to this day. But my favourite photograph that day is of me posing behind the Privet Drive sign. It’s hilarious to think that on the set the awful Dursley’s home exterior is right next to the ruin of Lily and James Potter’s house.

Already soaring on a wave of bliss that had begun with the HP film scores blasting all the way to the parking lot, standing in front of that scorched wall is where I got really emotional because somehow the couple who are dead before the series even begins have always meant the most to me. Yes walking through Diagon Alley’s set with the incredible detail on all sides I genuinely felt like Harry in wishing I had about a hundred eyes at once. But somehow it was still that ruined Potter cottage that I remember responding to now; the fictional sacrifice for their baby’s life as stirring and inspiring as anything else that trip.

When I was sixteen I once had a crush on a boy just because he resembled the fifteen-year-old James Potter from the Order Of The Phoenix film adaptation, incidentally my last non-celebrity / fictional crush to date.

Needless to say, that went nowhere and Harry Potter has stayed an important happy place for me longer than anyone in school ever did. There might still be times when the high school years negatively affect how I feel about myself but those days are few and far between.

Luckily for me, it’s a fact that time heals all wounds and someday only those powerful happy memories will remain. As Albus Dumbledore wisely said after all...

Even as a writer, with a craft as creative and yet honed by habit as many others, the end result of a piece like this isn’t always in sight from the beginning. There’s always the fine line of discussing a work in progress with my cheerleading family and figuring out on my own what feels right. I’ve had all sorts of advice; to combine experiences or don’t, or to be honest and heartfelt but draw the line somewhere. But at the end of the day, I know that the only way to get the words out is to find my own flow and go with it. All the song lyrics and Disney mottos about following your heart have got to come from a place of some kind of experience I suppose, so that’s what I decide to do with every word.

The theme of this article is holding on to joy and describing some hugely happy moments in my recent past would not be complete without the last week’s trip to Kottayam in Kerala. Some say this past week, with a royal Indian wedding and such a fabulous vacation with old friends deserves its own article and maybe someday it will get it. After all it took three years to pay tribute to the Potter joy as this article does.

But stand-alone tribute or not, the vacation after the Scindia wedding deserves a very heartfelt mention for inspiring me to write again in the first place with the love from old friends and simply breath-taking experiences. In a way, it does tie into the whole filmy Potter experience because Chacko Uncle shared his jaw-dropping world so modestly with us. How often does the average person get to sneak onto an active TV set and witness a girl prance onto the stage to an iconic SRK song?

For almost a decade my love of Bollywood became a way to connect with my roots from abroad and now it is always being in India that finds some way or other to remind me how much I will always admire King Khan. Granted there’s a huge nostalgia factor now but that song choice and moment in a little corner of that studio, trying to sneak a peek without tripping over the wires or squealing out loud was something I won’t forget in a hurry.

Over the next two days, the thrills just kept on coming, whether it was the epic serenades of our very own crooner Charles (the man stole my heart with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and kept it awed with a freaking Swiss German number) or getting to feel like a film star speeding along the backwaters, it was definitely like the Warner Studios tour in that I wanted to drink in all the sights and hold on to how I felt in the moment.

I’m not normally particularly keen on selfies, but with the enforced dressing up for the wedding before the Kottayam vacation, maybe the habit of sharing spilled over to that part of the holiday. Cruising along the backwaters I felt able to define wind-swept hair quite literally and even the slight motion sickness became easy to ignore with the sun kissing my exposed skin and finally getting to put my prescription sunglasses to good use. The picturesque backdrops helped me to feel beautiful and for that, I am more thankful than anything. Here’s hoping ten years don’t go by until the next reunion, visits to the south are as much a fascinating window into Mom and Dad’s past as anything else.

As my former obsession show used to say “by its very definition, glee is about opening yourself up to joy” and with experiences like these under my belt I might yet learn to do just that more often.

Despite the way it crashed and burned, Glee did teach me to never stop believing and I like to think I’m one step closer to that faith with the power of all these good experiences to guide me. One Tree Hill creator Mark Schwahn made the idea of “someday” a trademark of many couples he wrote and I think my someday of just feeling good might be a lot closer these days. To end on one final OTH quote because it has words for everything

I’ve come to realize that I don’t have to dismiss the bad things in my past in order to find happiness, but I feel like my perspective on the years of teenage suffering has changed and that, for now, is good enough.

#personal #oth #one tree hill #glee #kerala #backwaters #harry potter #watford #warner studio tour #lillian adler #srk #ddlj #peyton sawyer #quote #julian baker #mark schwahn #journey

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elsajeni · 6 years

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SWRarepairs 2018 Letter

Hello! Thanks for checking in! I’m sorry if you saw this letter in its draft state -- I wasn’t expecting matches to go out as fast as they did! It’s all complete now. You’ve seen my likes/DNWs section in my sign-up already, but let me restate it here so it’s all in one place, and then we’ll get to the ship-specific stuff:

Likes: family feelings; bantering or bickering; moments of humor even in the darkest situations; pining; misunderstandings that turn out all right in the end; poly relationships; casual relationships; hurt/comfort.

Sexy Likes, if you go in that direction: light bondage; lots of talking during sex, both sweet and dirty; realistic funny or awkward moments. If you're writing about teen characters (since some relationships I've requested would lend themselves to that), I'd rather not have anything explicit on-page, but I'm fine with offscreen or fade-to-black implied sex.

DNWs: rape/non-con unless specifically requested; incest; explicit scenes with underage characters; detailed description of bodily fluids; drastically different AUs (I don’t mind what-ifs or canon-divergent type of fic, but I’m not interested in coffeeshop AUs, supernatural creature AUs, A/B/O, etc. – you know what I mean); infidelity; unrelentingly dark and grim stories (I like a glimmering of hope).

Star Wars canon preferences: you can probably tell from my request list that I love and miss the old EU/Legends content. For any relationship that features Legends characters, I’d be very happy with a purely-Legends-based fic, but I also love gluing the loose ends of Legends continuity into the loose ends of sequel trilogy continuity; please feel free to mix and match Legends and canon material!

Relationship-specific prompts:

Lando Calrissian/Mara Jade, Lando Calrissian/Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker

I liked Lando and Mara’s EU relationship, and wasn’t too happy with the “it was a cover” retcon – show me the time, or times, that it wasn’t just a cover. Or, how about an earlier meeting in their lives, when Mara was brand-new to Karrde’s organization, or during the few days they must have overlapped at Jabba’s Palace?

I’ve always liked Luke and Lando as a romantic pairing, too, so why not bring it all together? Three people who all care deeply for each other, who aren’t often in the same place at the same time, but when they are, well... let’s meet over a mug of hot chocolate and see where the evening takes us. (I’d prefer this with everyone on more-or-less equal footing -- not with Luke and Mara as an established/married couple and Lando as the outsider.)

Winter Celchu/Leia Organa

I’d like to see this as a youthful experiment between friends – something casual that doesn’t last, but that remains a fond memory and a little bit of an in-joke.

Oola/Leia Organa

There wasn’t a LOT of time for dancers to hang around unwatched at Jabba’s Palace, and they were only there together for a couple of days (and even that, only if we fudge the timeline a little). But sometimes it only takes a couple of days, and sometimes all you need is a few bright stolen moments.

Wedge Antilles/Leia Organa

This is definitely a Legends-influenced pairing for me – I’ve always been really fond of their close friendship in the EU novels. This is another relationship that I like better as something casual, more of a FWB arrangement that grows out of that friendship or a fling that ends happily than a long-term romance -- maybe during their early days in the Rebellion, or during the post-ROTJ period where Leia and Han are still sorting their shit out.

I’d also be interested in bringing this into the sequel-trilogy timeline. Leia and Han have separated, her kid has run off to join the Dark Side, the Republic she helped to found has turned in a direction she can’t follow -- maybe she can find some comfort, or some help, with an old friend.

Talon Karrde/DJ

I’ll be honest, I don’t really have a plan here, I just think this is a fantastic idea. I was thinking about Karrde the whole time DJ was on screen, and half-expecting him to turn out to BE Karrde, and I am delighted by the idea of this pairing. I think there’s something interesting here about grey areas, and the “rogue with a heart of gold” archetype, and what, realistically, it means to play both sides against the middle when one side is clearly and melodramatically evil.

Biggs Darklighter/Luke Skywalker

I like this best as a teen relationship that grows a little awkwardly out of their friendship, is fun while it lasts, and transitions pretty easily back into friendship when it ends. That said, whatever you do with this pairing, it’s going to be a little bit tinged with sadness; if you prefer it a LOT tinged with sadness, I’d also be delighted with a fic taking place in the brief window between when they reconnect in the Rebellion and the Death Star run.

Alternately, get weird with it -- find a way for Biggs to survive, or bring him back from the dead. Write that Space Winter Soldier AU that I secretly kind of love, or Luke being haunted by the literal ghosts of his past.

Wedge Antilles/Luke Skywalker

I would really like something that brings Wedge into the sequel trilogy timeline, and especially a look at what Luke’s choice to isolate himself means for their relationship. Was Wedge ever on Ahch-To with him? Have they been in contact at all since he disappeared? When he’s found, is Wedge in a rush to see him again, or are his feelings more complicated? (As you may be guessing here, this is an area where I am very comfortable with a “not actually dead” AU! If you like a more tragic tone, though, do feel free to go with the canonical ending of TLJ.)

The one thing I absolutely don’t want is for Wedge’s absence from the sequel films to be because he’s dead. We are not at home to the Moping Island of Widowhood, thank you, leave it as just a regular old Moping Island.

Wedge Antilles/Wes Janson

Let’s be honest, I’m mostly looking for more Wraith Squadron/Starfighters of Adumar-style shenanigans here. Alternately, this is a pairing that lends itself to hurt/comfort – both of these guys have more than enough canonical close calls. Or why not a bit of both? If you’re feeling ambitious, you could fix Isard’s Revenge for me by writing their reunion after they’ve both believed each other to be dead for weeks.

Myn Donos/Gara Petothel | Lara Notsil

Hurt me. Do your worst.

Listen: I re-read Solo Command recently and spent, conservatively, 90% of it crying about these two. What really works for me is those agonizing scenes where Lara’s trying to convince Myn to stay away from her, and clearly trying to convince herself as well – I’d love a fic that puts them in a situation where it would be so easy to give in, or a situation where she does give in and then has to try to figure out how to take it back.

Leia Organa/Han Solo/Wedge Antilles, Lando Calrissian/Leia Organa/Han Solo

What can I say, I love a threesome. With either of these, what I’d most like to see is Leia and Han inviting a friend (or, in Lando’s case, a friendly ex) into their bedroom as a one-time fling or a casual, but ongoing, FWB arrangement; I’m less interested in a long-term triad. If it’s Lando, I’d love to see a little tension between him and Leia as they sort out the boundaries of their respective claims on Han, but ultimately I do want this to be a happy, fun encounter for everyone involved. If you go with Wedge, I’ve always been very fond of his close friendship with Leia in the EU, and I’d like that to be his closer tie to her and Han.

Obi-Wan Kenobi/Owen Lars/Beru Whitesun

Obi-Wan -- Ben, now -- stays nearby, after he leaves the baby with them. Maybe it’s to keep an eye out, to make sure Anakin’s child doesn’t draw any undue attention. But maybe it’s not just that.

I’d love basically anything you do with this -- a one-time fling that everyone is a little embarrassed about in the morning; an arrangement that sees Obi-Wan stopping by the homestead infrequently for dinner and conversation and, after the kid goes to bed, a night of companionship; a full-on AU where Luke grows up with Uncle Ben as essentially a third parent.

Flim/Gilad Pellaeon

I saw this in the tagset for this exchange last year and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. The way I see this pairing, it all comes down to it really being about Pellaeon and Thrawn -- whether he believes Flim is Thrawn and Flim takes advantage of that, or he knows Flim isn’t Thrawn but accepts him as close enough (as long as he stays in character). With the latter, you might even go with Flim not knowing that he’s been found out and thinking that he has to stay in character... and apparently Thrawn would have done this, so... (Whether Thrawn ever actually did do this, or whether it’s a fantasy that Pellaeon was never able to act on, I leave up to you.)

This is one of my sort-of-exceptions to the “no rape/non-con” clause. It’s a pairing that lends itself to questionable or compromised consent, and I’m into that. The line between what’s “dubcon” and what’s “non-con” is blurry, but as much as possible, I’d prefer that you stay on the dubcon side of it -- deceit, coercion, and uncomfortable power imbalances, yes; violence, physical force, or explicit non-consent that’s ignored, no.

Mara Jade/Darth Vader

This could go in a lot of different ways, from something as relatively innocent as an uncomfortable attraction between two people with no one else to talk to, to something as dark as the Emperor ordering one of them to the other’s bedroom. Whatever direction you go with it, I do want it to treat the power dynamics and age dynamics here seriously, and to lean into the darkness that’s present in what we know about Mara’s childhood and youth -- no one here is having a good time or doing something they’ll be happy to look back on.

This is the other sort-of-exception to the “no rape/non-con” clause, for similar reasons. As above, questionable, compromised, or coerced consent, yes; violence, physical or Force-based force, or explicit non-consent that’s ignored, no.

(This is NOT an exception to the “no explicit scenes with underage characters” clause. If you write this with Mara as a teen, please keep anything explicitly sexual off-screen.)

#swrarepairs #exchange letters

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souridealist · 6 years

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Hello, Yuletide writer! First of all, I’m sorry it took so long to get this letter up, and I am genuinely touched you didn’t just say “to hell with it, this disorganized motherfucker is getting whatever she gets.” (And then I posted it half-written by accident, good Lord, why am I like this).

General Likes and Dislikes:

I DNW’d suicide and deportation, due to personal experience with both. I would lump POV character suicidal ideation under the heading of suicide, but ‘tactical’ suicides (eg: captured spy with an arsenic pill) don’t upset me at all. For example, I have a couple of canons that could allow for “Okay, my grand plan is that I die a little bit and then come back!” and others which could allow for situations where death is preferable to capture, and you can feel free to explore either. It’s specifically mundane, depression-based suicide depictions that I need to avoid.

Deportation I would prefer you interpret a little more broadly. Acknowledging canon events are fine, but I’d rather the story not focus intensely on characters being forced to leave their families, their homes, their lives. (For reference if useful, I discovered this is a hard fictional limit while watching episode 1x08 of The Good Place.)

Other than that: I’ve requested all the canons here because I enjoy them, so canon-subversion fic is not really what I’m looking for here. I’m okay with dark, grim stories, but I’d prefer they not be hopeless ones. I like stories that are honest about characters’ flaws without condemning them.

I... hope that nails down some of the more nebulous points, in some way!

On to general likes: I’m really into things like epistolary fic, mixed media, in-universe documents, outsider POV, Rashomon stories, anything like that. I have no strong feelings on first/second/third-person or on past versus present tense, so run wild there.

As a general rule, I’m going to be entirely happy to see non-nominated / non-requested characters make cameos or indeed take a central role in the fic, as long as the characters I did request are central as well.

I’m a deeply polyamorous shipper at heart, and that informs a lot of these requests, but most of the relationships I ship are relationships where I just plain enjoy all their interactions, so gen works. I am also perfectly comfortable receiving smut for Yuletide, including for the teenage ships. One of my absolute favorite things is smut that uses sex to explore the characters and their relationship; relatedly, I like awkward human details more than idealized sex. (I don’t feel a need to get into things like historically-accurate lamb intestine condoms unless you really want to, though.)

The only specifically-sexual DNWs I’d add are scat play, A/B/O, and parental incest, though I’d be frankly surprised to see the last come up with these canons. (Watersports are okay, since I know they’re often grouped with scat play without distinction.)

Now, by canon! (Which may contain spoilers for their original canons). Also, as a note, I have more to say about some canons than others, but it’s not a measure of enthusiasm; I just don’t want to delay this letter any longer.

Summerlong - Peter S. Beagle

I loved this book’s lyricism, its sense of atmosphere and place, the wonder and beauty that ran through it all. And I loved how old the story felt, how timeless, and how nobody in it was young. Most of all, I was intrigued by the interplay between Lily and Lyonesse. A lot of it was sketched offscreen, related second-hand and in negative space, but there was still a sense of something layered and deep. I’d love to see it pulled into focus, whether in the form of missing scenes or post-canon stories.

Standout moments in my memory: when you forget that Persephone loves you. The dinner-party scene.

(Though I liked the book, I was very much disappointed that Abe and Lyonesse slept together. As I said, I’d be glad to see that played out with Lily instead, if you chose.)

Girl Genius

I am here for camp and shenanigans and gears on things and unabashed technobabble and the sheer glorious enthusiasm that spills out of every page. I love the canon’s sense of zany mayhem and bodice-ripper pulp novels and the way they’re willing to touch on very dark, sad, brutal things without ever losing its energy and color. I wouldn’t want to see them stripped down and rendered ordinary, but if you can get that sense of brilliant experimental chaos in a coffeeshop AU or a college, knock yourself out.

My other favorite thing about the comic is how it revels in Agatha being someone spectacular and extraordinary. We’re not here to watch our protagonist struggle and suffer, we’re here to watch her struggle and triumph. It’s great.

I’m also very, very much here for Tarvek/Agatha/Gil OT3, and this is one where it has to be an OT3 for me to like the ship; as far as I’m concerned, they all three need each other and care for each other. None of it’s going to work with only two; someone would be missing, no matter who it was. If you don’t want to write that kind of story, I’d much rather get straight gen than a story that picks a “team” in a love triangle.

(As a note, I do prefer a three-sided true triangle to an open V, but I’m definitely okay with an open V as long as Gil and Tarvek are grumpily-fond metamours).

One of the darker threads in the comic is the way all three of them have a very painful, bloody legacy; they have all been very isolated growing up; they have all three been failed and used and betrayed by their parents. It’s a heavy thing, and there’s absolutely no need, but if you go into it, I’m interested.

Bonus points: outrageous inventions, Jaegers being Extremely Helpful About The Romance, Castle Heterodyne being Extremely Helpful about anything. Bonus bonus points: if you happen to have read the novelizations, there’s some fascinating shit in the footnotes and epigraphs. If I’d wanted anything specifically novel-related I would have nominated the novelizations as a distinct fandom, but if you want to throw in some Easter eggs or if something novel-specific always struck you as a good starting point, I’d be delighted.

Standout scenes: The entire Hogfarb’s Resplendent Immolation arc; “We could have used him as a hostage! A bargaining chip! We could have... we could have... we could have kept him safe.” / “I’m sorry.”

Clocktaur War - T. Kingfisher

These books are such a brutally detailed portrait of such flawed, tragic people who have done, and do, truly terrible things -- and yet the story is never anything but compassionate, never writes them with anything but tenderness and love. That’s what I love about it; hence the very specific DNW of villainizing anyone.

I love all three of the characters nominated, but I admit that what fascinated me most was the relationship between Brenner and Slate, though Caliban/Slate was both excellent and made a great deal more sense as a long-term romance. I requested Caliban rather than just the two of them because I also very much enjoyed Caliban’s perspective on that dynamic, and on the ways that his presence changed it.

Having said that, you probably won’t be surprised to hear that I ship Caliban/Slate/Brenner (as a V, mainly, though the possibility of emotionally-fraught life-affirming let’s-do-this-instead-of-thinking-about-how-scared-we-are threesomes did cross my mind frequently during the wait between books). I did spend a certain amount of time wailing that I wanted Slate and Caliban to get a nice little cabin, where Slate forges things and Caliban tries to ignore it, and every couple of month Brenner drops by and they all three fall in bed together and it’s kind of surreal for all of them but also a vital touchstone for all of them and NOBODY IS DEAD, but I also knew from midway through the first book that Brenner was going to die; I mostly have my peace with it.

That said: I am on board for canon divergence, and not only on that one point. There’s so much going on in the story, and in the story’s world; it’s rife with what-ifs. I wouldn’t, however, want to see the characters pulled into any less flawed world than theirs.

Standout scenes: “I can make you die slow;” the scene where Brenner is prepared to strangle Slate to prevent her allergies inadvertently betraying them all; the very quick dispatch of robbers in Chapter Five of The Wonder Engine; “He had not quite realized that he would crawl on his knees to any god that would take him.”

The Innsmouth Legacy - Ruthanna Emrys

What I love about this one is everything it has to say about being an outsider, a monster in the world, and all the ways that that does not make one monstrous. The way it takes the empty vastness of the cosmos and turns it into a source of faith and strength, this too shall pass, and, more, the way it creates justification for kindness. That drew me too, so deeply; all the ways it is about love and community in the face of emptiness.

I need to confess that I don’t know the Cthulhu mythos that well, beyond these books. However, if you’re a huge mythos aficiondo and were all excited to include a bunch of details, I’ll probably need an index but I will be thrilled to know they’re there, because I still love that kind of thing.

I requested Aphra and Audrey as my favorites - in particular, I loved Audrey’s drive and determination, how quickly she clutched on to magic with both hands and would not let go, next to Aphra’s slowly opening heart. However, I do love pretty much the whole of Aphra’s spreading odd family, so if you want to write a more ensemble piece, absolutely feel free. In particular I loved the confluence, the idea of these people, all unexpected, finding such a view of each other’s souls, and coming back to find it was impossible not to care for each other deeply, now. Or, in other words, the soulbonding is both group and canonical.

Note that although I’m interested in the soulbond elements of the confluence and have at least a passing interest Aphra/Audrey, I’m not asking for any shipfic that suggests their connection is deeper within the confluence. Just different.

While I’m on the topic of shipfic, there’s a lot to possibly unpack with the legacy of Innsmouth and the question of having children to carry that legacy on, in a story where Aphra falls in love with a woman. Should that be an idea that bites you, I’m intrigued!

Regarding the deportation DNW vis-a-vis the destruction of Innsmouth, anything on par with canon is fine.

I feel like talking about standout scenes would be redundant at this point (CONFLUENCE), but I also need to give out a shoutout to all the many and varied beach scenes in Winter Tide.

Although I haven’t read Deep Roots yet, I intend to, and even if I haven’t read it by Christmas, I spoil myself for things constantly, so incorporate it as much as you please without fear.

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard

This broader franchise is a huge part of my childhood, going back all the way to the first couple of Percy Jackson books, and the Norse were a delightful pick-up to the cast. Alex and Magnus charmed me immediately, weak as I still am to Rick Riordan’s bickering love interests, and Alex is such a wonderfully shitheaded highlighter pack of a person, while Magnus is so wonderfully caring, and so utterly, continuously stunned by her. (Every other chapter. “A minor physical detail of Alex looked really nice. I have no idea why I noted that.” BOY, YOU ARE SMITTEN WITH HIM.)

Blitz and Hearthstone, meanwhile, struck me as absolutely married, the whole time; I loved their caring and their protectiveness and their trust, even when under stress. And I, er, have a history with dwarf/elf ships, to whit, that I am weak. And Blitzen kept on referring to Hearthstone as “my elf,” and frankly, at that point, it’s time to make an honest elf out of him.

However, if you don’t want to write shipfic, I also love the humor and the heart of these books, in addition to being an outrageous mythology nerd, so I will still be delighted to read gen adventure fic, or Shenanigans up at Hotel Valhalla, or just a thousand words (or ten thousand words) of the characters sitting around and snarking at each other.

Standout scenes: the pottery studio sequence; Alex telling Magnus “your fly is down” in ASL in the middle of an important bluff; Alex and Magnus talking about books and Alex commenting on The Left Hand of Darkness.

And thus, the letter is officially done! The mods reached out to remind me, so I tried to go into some detail, but please, especially after all this wait, I hope you don’t feel any obligation to my nonsense. Write the story that’s yours, that makes you happy, and I will enjoy it. Good luck, and thank you for writing for me.

#yuletide

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