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genderplugin · 8 months

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tw// me being annoying

ok so like for gender and sexuality are completely divorced people shut up i haven’t reconciled that and ever since i came out and it has broken my brain >:(

i guess i am probably bisexual but i def like boys more but i seriously hate talking about dating stuff/attraction with my friends because i swear i can literally feel their perception of my gender change whenever i talk about it. it really scares me because like i will feel lots of guilt around my gender and how i’m “performing” and idk i’ve had so many experiences now where i’ll talk about boys i’m obsessed with and people will just talk to me like i’m a faggot or twink 😭 idk i usually feel pretty ok with how i’m perceived with friends but like as soon as i talk about attraction like i literally wanna put my hands on my head and rip my skin off. i’m def not lesbian but there’s like such a stigma around all trans girls being lesbians and i’m terrified to be seen that way too… i feel like people poke fun at it in both ways where if i like boys i’m gay and if i like girls i’m actually just a straight man and i can’t fucking win… i don’t know the amount of times i have been called a twink when i go out dancing has had such a bad effect on my sense of self 😵‍💫😵‍💫 (also fuck djboywife lol). it’s gotten to the point where i like literally get sad when gay men are attracted to me and it happens literally all the time. even last summer i was seeing this guy for like a month and he would say so much shit to me that wasn’t mean spirited but would get in my head so badly :-( like he would always ask my to top him and one time said my facial hair was tickling his face (immediately started laser after this) and i was like oh this person definitely sees me as a man :)))) and like i was dumb enough to ask him about it and he said he was attracted to how “androgynous” i am 😭

like i don’t know i don’t actually hate the idea that sometimes during sex i should feel more fem and sometimes i should feel more masc like that’s kind of a pretty idea but i swear i’ve had some of my most dysphoric moments during it and like i will literally go nonverbal.

and ALSOOO like big thing i hate the way other trans women talk to me so much. like haha funny trans women are all horny but literally they just say deranged shit to me that i doubt they would say to a cis woman so quickly and it makes me feel so gross like how about u be nice to me for like 10 texts instead of talking about what u want to do to me!!!! and then i feel like i can’t even be mad at them because i’m like a prude or something and should just be comfortable with people saying deranged shit to me when i barely know them just because we are both trans???????????? like i get being down bad sexting is fun but it’s seriously like the lack of even seeing me as a person before they start that that makes me wanna cry

really i’m just exhausted and angry because whenever i yearn i feel like i have to do it correctly or else it will affect people’s perception of me and it’s so fucking annoying. i could be literally crazy and projecting my insecurities ig but also like, i don’t know i see that pattern with how people treat me 😭😭 like i just wanna like pretty boys who actually see me as a woman but it always feels so impossible!!!!!!!!

anyways this was entirely incoherent i’m sure i started points and didn’t finish them but i’m not reading any of this again before i post i am just sad methinks

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chaosclover1999 · 9 months

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honestly so mad rn bc of the whole "lesbian bears" thing, mainly bc like,,,, when gay men wanted 2 hav our own pride flag that was 4 us and we made it "2 similar" 2 the lesbian pride flag u guys were telling us it was shitty and calling it the toothpaste flag and saying it was phobic but now u think that it's ok 2 take an entire community concept from us a community concept that was made specifically 2 address body image issues within the gay male community bc of how every1 was expected 2 b a twink ect hell i even seen ppl saying that it's misogyny that there isn't already lesbian bears but none of you see the fucking irony, we try to borrow from you so we can have something that people will recognise as us instead of something 4 the whole queer community, so the rainbow flag can be used by every queer person while we still get 2 have a flag 4 the mlm community specifically, but then we get told off, told we're being bigoted against lesbians but then when people try 2 say that lesbians should be able 2 borrow the concept of bears from us then suddenly borrowing from each other is fine, im not even against lesbians having their own version of being a bear and calling is something slightly different and using it to address any body image issues that might be happening within the lesbian community (im not a lesbian so i can't speak to what those might be) from what i can c from an outside perspective tho it seems like a lot of those issues might already b being addressed by the butch lesbian communities? i just worry because a lot of people that i c talking about it r just saying something to the effect of "being a bear shouldn't just b 4 gay men because women get more shit for having body hair than men do" just the whole way in how it's being done just sucks and is completely ignoring the struggles that gay men go through and y we needed the label of bear in the 1st place, pushing aside our struggles to say "women have it worse and therefore lesbians have it worse" i just wish some1 would acknowledge the fuckin hypocrisy elephant in the room, i started typing this when i saw a post on my dash after waking up early at like 5am so idk how coherent this is but ig i just wish we were able 2 hav fukin smth w/out ppl calling us sexist 4 wanting smth 4 ourselves and not making every single aspect of our community open 2 every1, being a gay man isn't queer lite like some of u seem 2 think it is, we hav our own specific struggles and acting like everything that is us is now just an overall queer community thing and not specifically a gay guy thing and we should move over 2 make way 4 every1 who isn't us is 1 of those struggles, 1st it was the rainbow flag, now its the word "gay" increasingly being used 2 just mean queer and now also ppl being shitty abt us having the bear community by saying "u shouldn't hav this bc women hav it worse" it just feels like we don't get 2 hav fucking anything and then when we try 2 hav our own flag just 4 us we're evil ig, idk what u would even call this, erasure? smth like that

#lgbtq discourse #discourse #rant post

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1112lw · 5 years

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Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official @ace-landofthesun @dorkalisious and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

#Arche.txt #asks #ask #long post

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