hi so our last post died, and things have gotten kinda worse with the arrival of our other cat, my elder brothers homelessness, and the racial abuse getting hurled my way
we’re two disabled black lesbians trying to navigate employment discrimination and the American healthcare system, and tbh we’re losing. we originally had to split everything between 6 people, but due to my brothers getting evicted, everything we have (and everything we don’t) also goes to them
like last time, I’m still waiting for a doctor but recently they told me to call back in November. I’ve been calling since April. I believe the stress of everything is causing a flare up of something and I have no idea how to manage it, on top of my new seemingly random food sensitivities that keep popping up. I’m exhausted all the time and sometimes can’t even get out of bed.
on a brighter note, my girlfriend applied to five jobs, but their phone was shut off this morning so it’s urgent that they pay their bill.
we were able to get some necessities early last month due to peoples help, but we can’t make it stretch with 8 people. it’s a shitty situation all around and I wish we didn��t have to ask but until my gf can get a job and I can find out exactly what’s wrong with me, this is literally all we have.
I’m not gonna link my PayPal anymore because people are harassing me with my deadname
my cashapp is $silvertheestallion and my gfs is $Peachjammn
my Venmo is cherryadventure2
thank you so much for reading
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How would you feel about the concept of self aware!Bailey who slowly becomes obsessed with the person controlling the PC?
Oh shit, that's actually brilliant. Like, he's known PC their entire lives, but suddenly they develop an entirely new personality, presumably much different than the one they had before. Suddenly, they're extremely competent, or intelligent, and they're certainly attracting attention that they weren't before.
Obviously, it's his business to know things, so he starts paying extra attention. Acutely studying things that happen. And it seems like their moves are almost calculated. Some moments, he starts to notice, seem like they last ages. They can change their attitude at will. Sometimes, it's like they know what's going to happen before ever does. Like they've lived it before.
When he tries to deviate from his routine, it seems like something won't allow it.
Baily is a canny guy. Enough of a change and he'd figure something out.
You enter the orphanage, only to run smack into Bailey. He glares at you for a moment before grabbing your shoulders. You flinch, thinking he's going to hurt you, but all he does is stare into your eyes for a moment before releasing you.
He leaves without a word.
+ Stress
It starts to drive him a little crazy. There's something he can't put his finger on; something he can't control. The more he thinks about it, the more it seems like his life tends to revolve around the PC. He knows he interacts with other people-- he has memories of doing it. But it seems like he's never actually doing it. Only knows that he has.
How are they getting all this money, anyway? His demands are purposefully outrageous. They are making more money than most people in the entire town and have some to spare. No one is that good at surviving here.
No one. Unless they're cheating somehow.
Someone enters your room. It's Bailey.
"Time to pay up."
You hand him the money, and he cards through it for a moment, seemingly counting it out. There's a strange look on his face, and he looks at you with suspicion.
"How'd you get this?" He holds it up accusingly.
You stare at him with confusion on your face. He's never cared how you got it before. In fact, he deliberately avoids asking.
You don't answer.
He snarls and leaves, slamming your door shut as he does.
It hits him one day. As insane as it sounds, he understands. Everything fits a little too perfectly.
He doesn't tell a soul. He doesn't want to end up in Dr. Harper's care.
Or would this place even allow him to tell anyone? Would Harper even have protocol for that, or would they just stare at him lifelessly like they tend to do sometimes?
Bailey gives you a creepy stare— and yet, it seems he's looking right through you. Almost something behind you. You peer behind yourself, and there's nothing.
"I know you're there," is all he says before returning to his paperwork, dismissing you without an explanation.
It gives you the chills.
+ Stress
He's left irritated, but more than that, he's curious. What is it you want? Do you get off on this? Watching this wretched little shithole suffer?
What does this have to do with PC? Why did you take over them? Why are you helping them?
You're not a God-- he's relatively sure of that. But you have enough power to get this little orphan out of trouble. Enough foresight to keep them safe and somewhat healthy.
What do you want? Why do you let it all happen?
...Or is this what you want?
Bailey drags you to his office. You aren't sure what you've done. You've paid him, and that's usually all he cares about.
Once you're inside, he locks the door, slamming you against it with a hand on your throat. Again, he's not quite looking at you. It's somehow more unnerving than if he was glaring.
+ Stress
"What do you want?" He snarls, baring teeth at you.
You don't understand what he means. You try to respond, but only wheezing breaths escape you as he clenches your neck.
+ Willpower
"Why are you doing this?" He hisses, squeezing harder. You feel bruises forming.
+ Pain
+ Arousal
He holds you like that for a moment, quaking in anger, before he suddenly releases you in a moment of clarity.
"Get out. I don't expect you to have the answers."
You scramble through the door holding your throat, not wanting to give him another chance to attack you.
W̴h̵a̵t̷ ̵t̵h̷e̶ ̵h̷e̶l̷l̶ ̸w̷a̴s̸ ̴t̶h̸a̷t̵ ̶a̴b̶o̴u̷t̸?̴
Once he notices it, it's impossible to ignore. They win every competition. Commit crimes but evade the police. They can do things with such ease that it's unnatural.
He can't see you, but he knows you're there. Knows you're watching. You're aware of his presence and now he's aware of yours.
Maybe that's it. Maybe you're a voyeuristic little whore. A talented one, but still a whore.
Perhaps you get off on this. Is that it? You like watching? Or do you live vicariously through his orphan somehow? Maybe that's what it is.
Maybe you wish it was you.
You wake up with a start to find B̷̤̹́̿a̸̮͈̗͗i̶͎̳͈̽̈́l̵̙͚̈́͝e̴̱̓̏͝ÿ̴̮̝̼́͋͝ climbing on top of you. You try to scream, but he claps a hand over your mouth.
"I know you want this. Don't you? Is that what this is about?"
You can't speak with his hand still clamped over your face, but something tells you it doesn't matter. There's something about his eyes that terrifies you. You feel him hard and throbbing in his slacks, but again, he ï̷̩̠s̵̲̠̒̐n̴͚̜̓'̴̹͕̈t̸̛̮̓ ̵̦̫͐͘q̶̗́͑u̴̝͋̐i̷̝̅̄͜t̶̢̥́́ë̷̝͍́ ̵̯͂l̴̋͜o̷͙͎̚ǒ̸̻̻̈k̴͇͎̊̂i̷̛̪͒n̴̳͂̽g̵̖̏ ̴̦̌a̵̤̟͌ẗ̸͔̞́ ̵̝͇̀̅y̶͉̹̑o̸͇̝͊̌ụ̶̹͐̆.
Your sense of control cracks.
He rips at your clothes, tearing your pajamas to shreds. His left hand pulls down his slacks. His right hand holds you down.
+ Trauma
+ Stress
+ Arousal
He looks eager. He looks aroused. He looks incredibly pissed off. He looks {n̷̺̤͘u̷͙̎ͅl̶̰̈́ḷ̴͖̈́̓}
He can't touch you, but he can touch them all over. That's what you want, isn't it?
He wouldn't have looked twice at them before. Even now, something inside of him fights. Tells him no. A voice that isn't his. Something trying to control his movements. Control his thoughts. Control him.
Oh, no. He doesn't fucking think so. But if you can get in here, he can get out. He's aware, and he knows that wasn't mean to happen. But now that he is, he just needs some time. Some time to prod at the fraying seams of reality to find a crack.
No, he can't touch you.
Y̶̩̰̋ė̸̥̗͑t̶̻̆.̶̛̫͙̍
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Wondasho physical affection / gestures headcannons because why not:
• Emu gives the most hugs and the most crushing ones. She cannot go 10 minutes without clinging to someone.
• sometimes she picks the others up and spins them in the air [to nenekasa's horror]. Rui has to lift and bend his legs so that he doesn't fall on her
• Rui always hugs from behind. Just completely drapes himself all over the others (Tsukasa is the victim of this most often because he's the second tallest and Rui doesn't have to bend too much and also doesn't immediately throw him off like Nene 60-70% of the time). He tends to hide his face in others' shoulders / necks / chests etc. when hugging. His hugs are the longest
• Nene is the one who initiates any physical affection least often. She prefers smaller or subtler gestures. She does like to hold hands a lot, or lean down on someone's shoulder / back when they're sitting next to each other
• Tsukasa gives forehead kisses (it ends up being to Emu most often – she also loves it the most. Nene pulls away more often than not and Tsks doesn't reach up to Rui's forehead normally so he only gives them to him when they're at eye level or feels the need strongly enough to pull his face down for it)
• while we're at it Rui likes kissing hair. Taking a few strands in his fingers and leaving a gentle chu on them
• Tsukasa constantly gives motivational or reassuring pats on the shoulder / back but quite often he does it so fast and with so much force that it ends up being a slap that leaves the others out of breath for a moment. Nene falls victim to that the most. He also does that a lot while laughing
• Rui gives headpats or gentle pats on the shoulders. The latter happen a lot when he fixes their positions during acting
• Emu loves to play with others' cheeks, be it poking at them, pulling, patting. She keeps booping everyone's noses when they least expect it to see their reactions
• whenever someone is frowning or too deep in thought or seems upset Nene always flicks their forehead
• Tsukasa started giving amateurish back massages when the others were tensed up. The others picked up on it and began doing the same for him. They like to take turns massaging one person once someone started doing it already.
• continuing this ^^ Surprisingly Nene is the one who starts doing it most often for Tsukasa since she pays attention to his acting a lot on rehearsals and is therefore usually the first one to notice it if he's tense
• Tsukasa and Emu enjoy playing with others' hair (Tsukasa often starts doing it subconsciously when deep in thought) and sometimes end up having braiding competitions
• often when sitting next to each other, Rui likes to bump their legs together. If he does it with Nene there's a 100% chance it will turn into a kicking war
• Emu is trying to teach them all a special wonderhoy greeting handshake but she keeps adding something new every time so it's gotten so long they sometimes struggle to remember it. Discussions to settle on one fixed handshake are underway but they still can't choose
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