#only to discover that it hurt so much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

befuddled-calico-whump · 4 months

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imagine Mericho finding an injured seal has been put into his thank and he doesn't realize it's selkie Sahota until he goes back to his human form out of exhaustion

even better because (as suggested by @anomalys-taxonomy ) Vic has had Sahota's seal pelt made into a jacket and he just kinda ... wears it around as a way to flaunt his control

And because it's been cut up and altered, it will actively cause Sahota pain when he's in seal form (even though he feels the most comfortable as a seal) because he needs to be wearing his pelt to shift

#i do wanna doodle this now lol #vic didn't let him shift for years so he was relieved when he was finally allowed to #only to discover that it hurt so much #he'll still do it when he's allowed but he can't stay for long #i also like the idea that things you put on him in seal form integrate to his human form #so vic also has an integrated shock collar :3 #(that he rarely uses but the menagerie's master might)#anon #t$$ menagerie au

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fearandhatred · 2 months

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i was thinking about this line from my fic:

But the fall had hurt, too. Because the wind had cut into his useless wings like knives, his skin and grace peeling away under the friction, and he had been looking right up at the multicoloured and unreachable expanse of sky just to see it fade from his eyes into dull greys.

and i came up with this. i hope the vision came through

#fearandhatred #fearandpoetry #<- check out this tag for some relatively more normal poetry #this was written at 3 am once again #i am really just out here doing anything #don't think this needs much explanation but i shall yap anyway #this is just crowley through the ages but as he discovers more about the earth he also finds more things he can compare hurt to #because in the beginning all he could compare the wind cutting into him with was the wind itself #and also abandonment. because imo that is one of the first Big Negative Emotions he ever felt besides his dreams being crushed lmaoo #but i think it's fun how this poem also implies that he's constantly thinking about how the fall hurt and how everything reminds him of it #this was also very tedious for the perfectionist in me and the proportions are STILL off #because i only drafted out the wings lmao i was not planning on including the head #then i was like wait what if people don't realise that it's wings #so that happened #and changing the proportions means changing the structure which i do not want to do #good omens #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #good omens poetry #good omens fanart #yeah tagging this as fanart because i had to draw everything out first lmao #poetry #writing

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 6 months

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so, the most recent novel i managed to actually finish writing, three long years ago, was the book of my absolute lifelong dreams and most of the time i just leave it sitting on my computer and pretend it doesn't exist because i feel too tenderly about it and i'm too proud of it and it's agony to me. these feelings are, for whatever reason, unbearable hell. but like once a year i work up the courage to reread it, and every time i'm like, "god DAMN! who wrote this?? this is exactly what i've wanted to read my whole life!!!!!!! it's simply delightful!" and then i remember that oh yeah, it's me!

#i feel like i should vow to try to query this thing like 50 times just because i love it so much and i owe it to my own love of it #and then when i get rejected because it's 155k and that's insane (but it NEEDS TO BE!) i can at least say i tried #i don't get what it says about me that i wrote the book of my dreams and now i'm too embarrassed so i pretend it doesn't exist #instead of trying to get it published #as it is apparently my lifelong goal to be a published novelist #why is my brain wired this way!??!?!?!?!#i think i'm just too scared that everyone else will hate it and it will hurt my feelings too much because it's so me #it is truly and completely my sweet little baby #and it has the same word count as jane austen's emma which i only discovered after i finished writing it #fate!!!!!!!#dollsome's deep thoughts #it's my birthday so i'm allowing myself this really self-indulgent post #getting older and still never being a (non-self-) published novelist: the story of me

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dazais-guardian-angel · 1 year

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Baizhu’s Room

(note: this was written without any leaked spoilers or lore in mind)

Genshin 3.6 finally gave us access to the back room in Bubu Pharmacy, in anticipation of Baizhu’s upcoming release and story quest. And I have to give all the praise to the designers and developers here, because this small room has some of the best environmental storytelling I’ve seen in a game in a while, with only a few simple details. Today is Baizhu’s birthday, so I wanted to talk about it a little 💚🐍🌿

Nothing in this room is neatly in its place. The chairs aren’t in position, everything on the desk is messy and strewn about, and some of the drawers are left open. There’s a pillow on the desk, as well. Baizhu is quite frail and sickly, so this all paints a picture of him constantly looking for things and working, both as a doctor and frantically on his research into immortality, without having the energy or care to keep everything neat, and probably often falling asleep at his desk out of exhaustion (hence the pillow, though admittedly it could be for Changsheng, but I kind of doubt it).

There’s medicine on the bedside tables, which is probably just as much for Baizhu as it (and all the other medicine in the room) is for his patients. The bedside chair indicates he likely sits with patients there a lot so as to be as comforting as possible, but again, it’s also likely for people like Gui and Qiqi, when Baizhu is the one in bed. The sole small washtub thing stuck in the corner behind the screen... just makes me sad. I don’t know why in particular... it just does.

All of this, combined with the lighting, and the new, unique song, creates a room that manages to feel both warm and welcoming during the day, but solemn, lonely, almost suffocating, and unbearably sad at night, completely befitting the person who practically lives here, and the two very different sides he has. I say “practically”, but we have no indication so far that Baizhu actually does live anywhere else -- with his low energy and poor health, and all those damn steps leading up to the pharmacy, I’m fully convinced now that he does live here full-time, after seeing the state of it, which is... heartbreaking. He puts on a smile for everyone around him who are relying on him to care for them (and he loves his job, he truly does!), but his tiny, cramped patient room seemingly doubles as his living space, and even though Baizhu may lie and try to hide his own suffering... this room itself does not lie, and said suffering is bleeding from every corner here. The music is elegant, gentle, comforting, and soothing, but also delicate, weak, mournful, and again unimaginably lonely...... just like Baizhu. 💔

If you haven’t been here yet in the game, I highly recommend you visit it at least once; the atmosphere is simply unmatched. I can’t wait to see what happens here in Baizhu’s story quest, and how it will wreck our hearts even more 💚💔

#genshin impact #baizhu #meta #i guess it's meta #me posting non-bsd meta? it's more likely than you think #I too live in this room now ever since I discovered it...... it makes me FUCKING cry 😭💔 I love it so much even though it hurts :' )#it's so beautiful..... and so sad...... ugh my heart #i need him now!!!! it's only one week now but I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER AUGHHHHHHHHH BAIZHUUU *sobs*#he is going to ruin me and he's already ruining me #just from his description and a damn ROOM #been dutifully logging out here every day I play as part of my good luck ritual #and will definitely do my wishing here #he Will come home (with Qiqi's help)#there's so much love put into this room i am just so happy and emotional over it #so much care is put into genshin....... yes not always but a lot of the time #in the worldbuilding and in little details like this #baizhu..... :' ) 💚💔#i will say though that aside from this room there's a new house on the edge of Qingce Village #that has some medicine packs on the ground around it like in the pharmacy room #i'm pretty sure it also is related to his story quest just like this room #but regardless i don't know if that may in fact be his house instead #we'll just have to see

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extradimensional-catboy · 16 hours

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Well, well!

Look who’s finally back in town! Hello again, world! What did I miss?

#Hello!! It’s been a hot minute #hasn’t it #It’s been a long road #in this dimension and in the ones I fixate on.#It’s been a whole year. Crazy #I had just wanted to roleplay as and doodle my favourite lil catboy/lighthearted teasing #Then I became a part of the community #My nature as a partial lurker never really went away #And my fixation on this franchise has taken a bit of a backseat lately #But I’ve grown so much as a person cause of this site #My initial discovery of Kirby ask blogs #The beginning of my true attempts at digital art #Discovering of the full extent of the lgbtq+ community (hey #And that’s only in my earliest days!#I learned how to navigate around twists and turns to outsmart login walls!#I figured out a goal for my future!#I learned how to socialize after years of limited social connection!#I picked up a certain penchant for chaos and mischief •`w•#And I found people I belong with.#I know that social media frequently leads to hurt. But for me? I’ve grown #a place where I belong. So that choice I made?#Yeah #I chose correct.#magolor #kirby #tw: eyestrain #ask blog #Long post #but only in the tags

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eoinmcgonigal · 5 months

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it's really upsetting me so to get it off my chest i'm gonna confess that the positivity posts i saw yesterday really hurt. i didn't realise that was a thing in this fandom, and i wish it wasn't because those things inevitably leave people feeling left out and like their presence isn't worth anything to the fandom (plus readers, rebloggers and commenters are integral to fandom community but don't usually get a shoutout). i'm already struggling because of this horrible trend towards using threads in discord which renders most of the servers inaccessible to me, i feel extremely isolated and alone and unwanted, but i was doing okay muddling along churning out fic and a few silly polls and posts now and then until yesterday. the fic i posted today just made me feel so sad after i posted it. it was a lovely fic :( but like what is the point. if i'm worth so little i might as well not be here. why put the effort into making things if no one notices. i already feel so lonely it's like i'm being torn in two, posting things now and then brought me comfort but idk what i have now

#i'm in a deleting everything kinda mood #no one remembered me? oh. okay :(#fuckin hurts so much #i want to finish the johnny stuff but i feel so unbearably miserable now and i don't want to spend hogmanay like that #but i also can't bear to leave it unfinished #i wish i'd never scrolled my dash yesterday then i'd never have known about those posts #it brought me so much joy to write and share those fic #absolutely crushing to discover i don't inspire the same joy in the fandom #i was kinda impressed with having written so much i thought it was kinda cool #maybe it's just really fucking annoying idk #sorry just so lonely and upset and the places i find sanctuary are falling to pieces and i'd actually like to die now thanks #so much shit is going on irl you have no idea and i don't have a support network it's terrifying #nothing i do is worth anything #no one wants me #did u no my mother discarded all the photos that had me in them? kid me just. discarded. she took everyone else and threw me out #shit like that hurts i wish i had a new family or friends to chat to as a distraction when shit gets bad #i mean i get discord dm notifications (not server mentions) if anyone dms me but lol guess how often that happens #i get tumblr dm notifications it's been the only place i've talked to anyone for ages so shoutout to those two wonderful people #god i just. want to be included?#i tried #i failed #fuck.#maybe this is goodbye idk i had stuff to finish up/share #and a million more fics i wanted to write #i don't even know if i can face doing tomorrow's johnny fic #i wanted to do the 12 days of christmas too :(#but the fact now exists that i just... wasn't good enough for this fandom :'(#also i can't face the notifications tab #if it's not a Direct Message i won't see it #god there was SO MUCH i wanted to share! there were gifs i was gonna make to share the suffering and gift fic and silly posts

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david-watts · 1 year

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I’m actually so pissed off at that like. it started when I was a kid because I would get anxious and have nausea as a physical symptom so I’d mention feeling sick whenever something potentially anxiety-inducing came up but never actually threw up and that got labelled me a hypochondriac. at age four. and at age seven I’d do shit for attention. I suspected I had asthma and was overdramatic about it and I was RIGHT to think so but I got labelled a liar. and a hypochondriac. I’d be in pain? I’d feel sick on a near-constant basis because I was developing severe mental illness and also there was someone, possibly through actual government instructions, though partially because she was a total cunt of a human being, literally persecuting me (and others) on a near-daily basis. so I’d often feel ill. that was of course considered ‘hypochondria’ even though literally what was that meant to be? fuck’s sake. and then when I like. started going ‘hey I think there’s something wrong with my body’ I’d get told to stop overreacting. and then! I started actually getting problems noticed and like. I’d get told to push through it. how do I push through a spine injury that left me bedridden for days? if I’m not given the time of day to figure out what’s wrong with me of course I’m gonna try searching online for solutions and inevitably be wrong the first couple of times! oh, what’s that? you definitely have ptsd and adhd? oh that’s what those symptoms are! wait, what, you’re saying that I can’t possibly have those problems...? despite having the exact same symptoms as you? considering that these are the same people that insist every winter that I have reynauld’s never checking that I wasn’t experiencing literal frostbite because my grandpa had it I ought not to be surprised... it’s the default reaction. way to ignore everything. just call the problem a liar and have done with it knowing you’ve done ‘all you can’

#it's not reynauld's because it looked felt and reacted exactly like frostbite and let me tell you NEVER jump directly into #a hot bath or anything the frostbitten area will feel like it's dunked into boiling water and it hurts so badly #I wasn't even LOOKING for frostbite symptoms I was trying to prove a point that if I were paying rent this temperature would be illegal #and I went 'what temperature must it be for extremities to go numb and red/purple' and I accidentally discovered it was frostbite.#they still wanted to take my only heat source away because it gets a bit chilly in one corner of the room #because they didn't put the heat pump in the right place #how do I explain to them that no matter how much I strengthen the muscles in my back they're still gonna hurt and get overworked #trying to straighten my spine?#because. uh. if playing hockey didn't help much #if I try and do exercises to help buff them up so to speak that's just gonna push them towards 'overworked' faster #from EXPERIENCE!#I just have to bitch about this. this definitely didn't have an actual effect on me developing actual hypochondriac tendencies!!#that was sarcasm I think it definitely did #I used to think that I'd damaged my nerves somehow that time I ran away because my fingers were difficult to control and numb #but never thought it could be. y'know. frostbite. especially when stripped out of my covers in near freezing temperatures #still paranoid she'll start doing that again if she decides that we Must Follow Her Routine She Never Communicates #the frostbite thing is. forefront of my mind because it's been cold lately #I'm mad. I'm really mad. I feel like my body's failing me and I can't even SAY that because of how I get treated.

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rowenabean · 11 months

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.

#went round to the SAME friend's house today and had the conversation i've been needing to have i think #feeling much better for it #the grief is still there but it's much less complicated i think? there was a layer of disappointment and hurt about old things that i was #only just starting to discover were there and had absolutely no idea what to do with #(i am pretty self-aware about what's actually happening for me but not always good at knowing what to do with that)#and she really helped me to name it and identify where to start moving forward #and also to move some of it out of my locus of control - i tend to think everything that happens is in some way my fault or if i was #different it wouldn't have happened #and she said actually it sounds like maybe x made a mistake which hurt you and you need to forgive her #and lots of things are coming free with that statement #so the grief is obviously still there. and the hurt's still there but it's cleaner somehow. easier to hold.#at last for the day #thank God for wise friends #(best friend's family/friends are everything happens for a reason people and i hate that tbh)#rowena adventures #feeling honestly much better for this

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stinkrascal · 2 years

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the concert was soooooo fun but im not gonna lie im so happy to be home with my sims :’)

#the concert was on saturday!!! it was SOOOOOOOOOOO FUN #we spent the night at my bfs parents house afterwards so we spent the day with them yesterday! it was nice to see them again #the drive from our house to new orleans is like three hours so it was easier to go back to his parents house instead of going home #since they only live about an hour and a half from nola. and they said we're always welcome to come over :D theyre so sweet #we didnt leave their house until like 9:30pm lol theyre so sweet i love them #they always send us home with so much food and toilet paper 😭#my bf’s mom is my bestie #the concert on saturday was sooooooooo much fun u guys i had a BLAST and i got very drunk lol #we saw suicideboys live they are soooo good live. nola is their hometown so the show was super energetic #y’all i lost my whole voice it still hurts 😭#my little brother was there too lol #when he discovered that we listen to suicideboys he said ‘really?? but you’re old’ 😭😭😭 HATE HIM #he’s literally 3 years younger than me like stfu i’m not OLD >:(#i got a video of my little brother and my boyfriend in the mosh pit together it was really cute #THERE WERE SO MANY CUTE ALT GIRLS AHHHHHH im so sad. i wish i was a cute alt person #its hard having no sense of fashion among many cute girls ;( but the crowd was super nice everyone was so happy to be there #big concerts are so fun omg. ive never been to a big concert before so i was pretty nervous to attend but it was amazing!!!#they played our favorite songs during the set too :')) SOOOO FUN #but im very happy to be home I MISS FRANKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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mellifloraa · 1 year

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i'm feeling very emo about herculaneum rn bc of that statue post btw

#i'm reading more about it bc i was never taught about it in school #it's a city that was just about 13km away from pompeii and was also buried in the eruption of vesuvius #but it got buried under 5 times as much volcanic ash as pompeii so it was really difficult to excavate #and bc of that because pompeii was easier to get to that city became more famous #real excavation on herculaneum only seriously began in the 1920s and real preservation only began in the 1980s #the city was architecturally and artisticallly beautiful on rival with pompeii and we've retrieved a number of gorgeous statues #but there was a city built near the excavation site that really damaged a lot of the building foundations through water runoff #and a lot of the remains we've found have been sadly damaged by the elements as well on top of being not very well preserved to begin with #so in the 80s italian authorities basically said “start protecting this shit we can't lose this” and officially halted all excavation #to focus instead on preserving what we had already discovered rather than finding new things #and if that isn't just the perfect example of why i love archaeology and sociology #it's not all about what you find and how you find it but how you care for it as well #how are you gonna take this beautiful ancient city that's been gifted to you and say. i'll protect you.#i'll make sure you don't get hurt. i'll make sure your foundations are strong. i'll make sure you're still beautiful.#i'll protect the citizens who called you home once. i'll make sure they're taken care of in death.#i'll make sure that you're respected.#reaching your hand back two thousand years and caring for those people and the things they loved.#fuck man i'm fucking crying over this rn

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enbeemagical · 4 months

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did you know you find the coolest stuff in the back stock of old used bookstores

#bookstore stories #don't go into staff only areas if you're not staff tho #at the least it's annoying and at worst you get hurt #anyways guess who spent nearly their whole shift cleaning up in back stock and discovering a lot of stuff #these cool ancient-looking coins (??idk if they're actually money lol)#a griffin mug #mask with a peacock feather #SO MUCH DUST AND DIRT #broken glass #wooden curlicues that broke off something #so many bits and bobs of holiday decorations #teeny tiny doll-sized scissors #a dragon figurine #more dust and dirt #a single magic the gathering card #a pride flag in with some very heavy metal magnets (?)#like #we have so much stuff back there #OH YEAH ALSO A TUBE OF 'EXTRA FINE' GLITTER #i handled that one like a live grenade lol #accidentally knocked the skeleton over at one point. picking him up was the first time in 5+ years i can remember intentionally touching hi #idk man i don't like plastic skeletons #so many boxes too

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zincbot · 5 months

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broken foot everything sucks

#ugh i'm just very upset and frustrated. glad to be home from the hospital though after 6 fucking days #i place my value on acts of service so i'm basically dead weight rn #also the way i broke my foot was extreme and horrible. like i almost lost the foot level #everything is so much harder to do and i feel guilty for complaining or being frustrated cause all my loved ones are like #frustrated with me for being hurt and frustrated with me for the way i'm trying to navigate now #i've only been home for a few days but i already don't like what i'm discovering about my abilities to do the things i usually do #at least i'm not at the hospital and my kitty is here. i'm gonna go one day at a time and i'm gonna recover but.#this is my winter. this is what winter is gonna be #ugh.

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stromblessed · 6 months

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Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

#blue eye samurai #mizu #akemi #kinuyo #bes #women are birds okay they are BIRDS #the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show???#when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her #akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger #NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women #because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right?????#and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME #also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad

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i-am-hungry-24-7 · 2 months

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Simon taking care of you when you accidentally injured yourself. Just fluff cuz I need fluff :D .

cw: pet names (princess, love etc.)

“Simon, I’m home!”

You opened the front door, only to see Simon sitting on the couch. Hearing your voice, he raised his head from the book he was infatuated with these days, and a low hum left him as a welcome.

“I’ll go shower first, the weather’s hot as hell, and I’m stink.”

You tossed the key onto the plate, nonchalantly passed your lover, but Simon could sense the difference in your movements.

“Stop.”

He stood up from the couch, and came straight towards you.

Oh no, you’re so fucked up.

“Hey, Si! I’m dirty! put me down!”

Simon ignored your yelling, scooping you up and over his shoulder.

“Don’t move.”

He demanded, and you swallowed hard when he grabbed your left ankle, and lifted the trouser legs.

“You’re hiding this from me?” His coffee-like brown eyes narrowed in disapproval, throwing you daggers while all you could do was let out a sigh.

“Sorry, Simon. Don’t want to concern you.”

Crooking his eyebrow, Simon darted his eyes back to observe the wound on your left calf. A long, deep cut went across half of your flesh, blood just managed to stop dripping, and fortunately didn’t stick your injury to the clothes.

“Where do you get this?”

“The parking lot of the market. Didn’t see a rock and stumble over it, and the pin sticking out of a wall dug into my leg when I tried to steady myself.” You shrugged.

You knew he was worried and hated to see you get hurt, that’s why you try to sneak to the bathroom and deal with it yourself. Simon’s eyes softened when he learned how you get yourself injured, but you had a feeling that he wouldn’t allow you to do things alone for at least a week.

“let’s go shower.” He picked you up swiftly as if you weighed nothing, and you just melted into his touch.

“You gonna help me?” Even though you knew the answer, you still asked when he strode to the bathroom.

“You think there’s other options?”

“... No.”

“Good Girl.” planting a kiss on your forehead, he kicked open the door.

“Close your eyes, don’t want to sting them, love.”

Your satisfied grumble when his hands attentively scratched your head made Simon chuckle. He put you in the warm bathtub, and the little chair looked comical under his bulky stature, but you didn’t laugh at him this time, instead focusing on his hands.

His hands, working magically through your hair, carefully not to tug your hair with too much strength. The hands that always protect you, the hands that are littered with scars, soaked with blood, but massage your shoulders when you are tired, shuffle your hair when you playfully argue with him, place on your belly when he hugs you from behind and whispered his affection to you.

He reserved all his tenderness to you, and you wondered why you were lucky enough to have this man as yours.

“Told you to close your eyes, love.”

You smiled when Simon finally discovered you had been staring at him from the start.

“Am I not allowed to watch my beautiful husband?”

“Don’t complain when the sud run into those pretty eyes then.” He huffed out a laugh.

When it came to you, he just couldn’t do anything but surrender to your adorable cheekiness. He thought when he couldn’t help but give your cheek a peck.

You sat on the edge of your bed now. Simon had dry your hair, and made you put on your underwear and his black shirt.

He was kneeling in front of you now, picking through the gauze and disinfectant. He seemed to find all the things he needed. Placing them aside, he took your ankle in his hand again.

“It’ll hurt a bit.”

He traced circles on your thigh to soothe the pain when he sprayed the antiseptic on your wound and waited for it to dry.

“You’re doing well, love. We’re almost finished.”

He cooed when he saw you blinked away a tear hanging on the corner of your eye.

Nodding, you watched him cover the wound with gauze and secure it.

“Thank you, Si.”

You chanted softly when his thumb caressed on the tape. Simon didn’t let go of your ankle when you thanked him, but landed a kiss beside the gauze.

“A spell for faster healing” The childish glints in his eyes were obvious when he lifted his head to meet your eyes.

“Don’t know you’re such a romantic person, baby.” You poke his cheek with a laugh.

“Guess there’s more of me yet for you to figure out.

He threw the bottles back into the medkit, and finally stood up after kneeling for ten minutes.

“Anything you want now, princess?”

“cuddle with me, Simon. The wound hurts.”

“Who’s the one trying to hide it thirty minutes ago?”

Lying on your back on the bed, his blonde hair shined under the light, but not brighter than the languid smirk he wore on his lips.

“Are you saying you don’t want to cuddle with me now?”

“Are there other options?”

“of course not, handsome.” You worm yourself into the comforter, and beckoned him to join you.

Slump down on the bed, he wiggled himself into his usual cuddling posture, arms snaked around your waist, and covered your belly with his palm.

“Anything for you, love.” You felt he kissed the shell of your ear when your eyes closed under the coziness.

#cod imagine #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost x reader #simon riley imagine #cod x reader #cod x you #ghost x you #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader

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my-chemical-rot · 1 year

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Part of me feels tempted to leave a tag saying “nice dichotomy moron! what lies outside of it” on the last post I reblogged, and part of me feels like my followers should be smart enough to recognize the inherent falsehood of categorizing the universe into any kind of binary whatsoever, no matter how pretty or sentimental the binary seems to be

#''everything is love or not love''#I admire the sentiment for the sake of art & because sometimes being fluffy and pretty is fun and all #But as far as actual philosophy or a solid understanding of the world goes: you’re an idiot #And the way that the importance or positive influence of love is overstated in society again and again #only ever hurts people suffering from mental illness/trauma; and/or people who radically reject amatonormativity #God and as far as the sentiment for the sake of art goes it would be so much more interesting if people were less close minded about love #What if I told you. love isn’t always Good? What if I told you not everyone values love?#What if you gave those ideas more space within literature and music and art to be explored?#What if we learned about the absence of love for once? What if we did something original and radical with this binary for a change?#Instead of every goddamn piece of media on the planet being about love as inherently positive?#What could we explore & discover about humanity if we focused more on different perspectives regarding love & the absence of it?

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mactavishsgfandwife · 3 months

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Simon "Ghost" Riley and Your New Cat 🌷

simon having beef with a stray cat you brought home silly little idea i had no content warnings, just cute fluff, female reader :3 not proofread!

"What the hell is tha’?" he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared in disbelief at the little black kitten in your lap.

"I found him. He’s called Lettuce," you grin, cuddling the cat to your chest. You’re well aware that lettuce is a stupid name for a cat, but it just seemed right at the time. The kitten was tiny, and had seemed very weak when you’d discovered him shivering in a box outside your apartment block. Now, he seemed a lot more comfortable, making a little home for himself on your sweater. He was so small - he literally fit in the palm of your hand - but his frizzy black hair stuck out at every angle so that he looked less like a kitten and more like a wiry pompom.

"Love," Simon laughed, rubbing his face with a sigh, "Lettuce looks like a flea. Where the hell di’you find ‘im?"

"Oi, he does not! Well, maybe a bit. I found him in a box. He was meowing at me, he looked so cold…" you stroke the kitten’s cheek with your thumb as you he meows up at you.

"You can’t keep him, he might have diseases. You should give him to a pet shelter." Your boyfriend wasn’t being harsh, he was just worried about you - he didn’t want your little heart breaking because you’d got all attached to a poorly little kitten who might not last the week. But it didn’t come off like that.

"Wh… what..?" you frown, cupping the kitty in your hands to protect it.

"I’ll drive you to the shelter tomorrow, okay?"

"What? Si, no!"

"Baby…" he sighs, trying not to upset you "you can’t just find a scruffy animal on the street and take it home."

"S’what I did with you ," you pout, pulling the same face at him as Vegetable pulls at your sweater sleeve as he paws at it.

"Look," he crosses his arms, about to explain to you the reasons why you two don’t have the space for a cat, nor the prior knowledge. What if the cat walks in on the two of you in bed? What if it bites you and his pretty girl gets hurt? What if you end up loving the cat more than Simon and it steals you away? But your pleading eyes and the tiny, stupid looking kitten chirping in your laps convinces him. If you really wanted anything, you know he’d get it for you, so he’ll let you have your silly kitten.

"Alright, fine. For now." He laughs, ruffling his hair.

"I love you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love you!" you squeal, gently placing the cat down before jumping up with and wrapping your arms around your boyfriend. He rubs your back softly, watching the stupid fluffy ball on the sofa chirp for your attention. Just because he’s letting you have the cat doesn’t mean he won’t see it as his mortal enemy.

The next morning, after having gone out to buy cat food for you, Simon is sitting on the sofa, softly kissing your neck from behind. You’re sitting in his lap… completely ignoring his affection in favour of the kitty.

"Si, look! He can walk!" you grin, holding the kitten up so it looks like it’s standing on two feet.

"Mhm… cute…" Simon mumbles into the nape of your next, a strong hand wrapping around your waist to pull you into his chest. He is not watching the cat, he’s busy with you.

"I know right!" you ignore his advances still, gazing at your new pet with adoration, "I should make him a little hat, he’d look so sweet."

"Yeah, fuck, you’re so sweet…" Si keeps kissing you, moving between your neck and your shoulders, which are hidden inside his old tshirt.

"He’s so cute," you grin, stroking the back of the kitten’s head until it purrs, "I love him so much… he’s my baby."

That catches Simon off guard. He would never admit it to anyone, but he loves it when you call him your baby. He’s the only one you should be calling baby. This cat is stealing his girl. [gasp]

Si shoots the kitten a death stare.

"Oh yeah, he’s your baby?"

"Yeah, he’s the cutest…"

"Mhm. I’m sure," he pouts. When you’re not looking, he glares at the cat and points from his grey eyes to its little beady ones, like he’s trying to intimidate it.

A few days later, the two of you fall asleep together, with Simon spooning you and holding you close. But you forgot to shut the door. So your boyfriend is rudely awakened by a very small, scruffy kitten stomping on his chest.

"No, oi, get off of me," you can hear him grumbling sleepily as you start to stir, alongside the cute chirping of your kitty.

"Listen, Vegeta- cat. Stupid name anyways. We can’t have you disturbing the Mrs, alright?"

You can hear him pause until he hears the kitten meow softly in response.

"Tha’s right, soldier. She’s my Mrs, not yours, and if you so much as try to change that, I will never let you see her again. My girl. Mine," he pouts.

The kitten meows again, as if he’s responding to Simon’s orders. You have to try your hardest not to giggle, biting your lip in the dark as you listen to your big, tough boyfriend have an argument with a little kitten.

"Alright, now leave the lady alone." You almost think you can hear him plant a kiss on the cat’s head before he sets it down at the side of the bed.

You’re away for the weekend, visiting family, without your boys (Simon and the kitten). :(

Simon’s fine, he’s a tough guy, he has no issue being alone - that is, until he’s poorly and he needs you to cuddle him and make him tea. But you’re not there, and talking to you over the phone only makes him feel worse.

So he resorts to laying in bed, in the shade, trying to nap. Poor boy feels too ill to do anything else (he has the man flu).

With the back of his hand over his forehead, one leg over the covers and one leg under, not quite sure whether he’s awake or asleep, he closes his eyes and frowns. A little black ball hops up onto his bed, waking him up a little.

It plods around in a little circle, looking around and exploring its new environment. When Veggie spots Simon, he waddles over curiously, his little feet sinking into the soft duvet cover.

"Hey, cat," Simon smiles softly, watching the fluffy baby wander and get closer to his face. It looks up into his eyes, chirping, and brushes its fur against his cheek before settling into the crook of his neck.

He chuckles, closing his eyes as the tiny guy curls into a ball against him. The rivalry isn’t quite over for Simon, but that funny looking kitty is a little piece of you, and he’s happy to have its affection.

When you come home, it’s to the two of them, cuddled up on your bed. Silently, you change into a t-shirt and slip into bed behind Simon, planting a little kiss on his cheek.

"Told you he was cute."

how i imagine your kitten 💗

i spent way longer on this than i thought i would but it’s so cute and i loved writing it! hope you enjoy lovieeees

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