#one of these is very. no ones gonna fucking get that one but thats okay bc i get a giggle out of it okay
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FINISHED ACT 2!!!! I promise I'm taking my time
Act 1 live reaction here
Here are notes I took while reading!!!
Hi vagabond fella… you're cute
Huh. So the world ended. Okay
Happy birthday john, you fucked up!!!! My god!!!!
Oh interesting… wonder if the kernel will come back later
I like this sprite lmaoooo silly guy
“It's a long way down” Hey. Hey wait a sec. Isn't that deltarune
HEY THE BUNNY WHERE DID IT GO
Bro Rose probably thinks you're dead lmfaooooo
House trapped. LIKE THE TITLE HOMESTUCK DO U GET IT
Am I supposed to ignore the Stop Scurrying button btw. He will scurry to my hearts content
HEY WHERES DAD.
“Would you like to play a game?” C…caliborn….? :3
We scurried until we couldn't scurry anymore
Aw he's scared :( WALK ACROSS IT ur fine…
A voice?? Is it the blue text. The sprite
OMG ITS THE VAGABOND!!!!
Sorry rose I'm not reading allat
So wait. Did the game cause the meteors or is it just saving people from them. Why was there no warning
Betty crocker is born /j
Nvm sprite said No <3
NOT NANNAS ASHESSSSS LMAOOOO
“Hoo-hoo-hoo” HEY I SAW CALIBORN GIGGLE LIKE THAT IN A FIC. I know the Striders have more to do with Caliborn but let me reach
OH its the sprite
Dave. Honey. Nows not the time for your rap
Which admittedly has fun rhymes
AW FLUCK IT
Dave what are you yapping about
THE FUCKIHG CAR OH MY GOD
DAVE OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU STILL GOING
Fluthlu… I love you
I'm not even gonna try to spell that but I like the other squid octopus creature as well
Oglogoth… goth !!!!
Hey wait. The horror terrors are part of sburb. Is the game influenced by their lives and interests. Like. Deltarune
OH PSYCHE!!! hi Dave
Sword!!!!!!
Wow your room is really mHEY I KNOW THOSE GUYS. THATS THE FELT GUYS. SQUAREWAVE AND RHE OTHER ROBOT. I KNOW THOSE ONES!!!!! OHHHHHH
Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable
Oh Dave. Oh Dave
Hey wait is this earlier in the day.
Okay this is definitely earlier in the day
Aw. He doesn't wanna make satire of the sburb review
FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS……
Is that. John's hand???? what the fuck is happening in midnight crew
Flagrant Homosexuality
YOU CANT BE SAYING THAT WHITE BABY (I was told that they use slurs, slur count 2!!!!)
Her life depends on you playing that game Dave
Ewwww what's the shit under the door
It's okay Dave piss probably isn't that bad. It's also probably Apple juice You're fine
HE GOT PISS/JUICE ON HIS TURNTABLES NOOOOOO
. They're gonna fly out the window
OH MY GOD BIRD NO
Wait. Davesprite is a bird with a sword in him. Omg is that bird the beginning of Davesprite omg!!!!
Wizard
Rose and her mom are fucking weird
MOM!!!!!
Hardcore parkour
Jade be telling the future…. Why can she do that
LIL CAL MENTION
NARRATOR YOU CANT BE SAYING THAT (slur count: 3)
Ironic Indulgence
Btw. Are you able to. Win the strifes. I'm so confused
“Fine, you'll interrupt your reading and turn around, but you don't see what could possibly be so oh my god it's a monster.” Hi this is absolute gold this is how I type
John died :(
Yay he's alive!!!
YOOOOO SICKKKK AFFFFF MOVE
John is such a nerd I love him
JASPERS NOOO
Hi Nanna harlequin sprite
Dave is very suddenly creeped out by the puppets, okay. Don't diss Lil cal bro
Baked good hater for Life!!! Also I am just like John I have absolutely no idea what Nannasprite was talking about. We r along for the ride
HUMAN ETIQUETTE WOOOO I NEED THAY BOOK
Jade why do you know all this stuff
Haha Dave's an emoji
IS THAT A DRIPPED OUT SLAPPY
HI CAL HI BABYGIRL !!!! I like Cal he's the man
Sweet Bro n Hella Jeff is. I
Cals eyes are so shiny
HAHAHAHAH JOHN MADE A SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF REFERENCE. I can't
U and me both Rose. We Are giggling
John died again
What the fuck is happening at Dave's house
ROSE RAP ROSE RAP
WHSJSHSJSH THE LITTLE IMP????
What the fuck is happening
I WANT TO PLAY A GAME is this a caliborn reference. Anyway uhhh Bro is kinda weird what's going on with him
Why does he have a camera in the saw guy figurine. Bro. What's uh up with you
BRO REALLY IS A NINJA…. Whys he jusy moving Cal around
Dave. I know you said your Bro is awesome but I think he's just really weird. He's silly
I do think it's interesting. John doesn't like his dad even though his dad is great (worst thing is he ignores that his kid doesn't like betty crocker goods). Rose hates her mom, but.. for like, the wrong reasons?? Like yeah her mom’s an alcoholic and seems neglectful but she doesn't seem to do the Irony shit Rose says she does. And then Dave seems to think Bro is the absolute best even though. This is not a great situation. I wonder what Jade's family is like
Also John and Rose avoid their parents but Dave's Bro seems to avoid Dave. interesting
Anyway POOR DAVE HE GOT SMOOSHED
Hey that letter is the same as the one in the trans dirk comic I saw :0
NOOO I WANTED TO SEE BRO
Yoooo John that's a cool weapon actually
That's a big boy right there what a big boy
ROSE THE FIRE ITS AT UR WINDOW
YO WAS THAT SILHOUETTE JADE?!?!?! JADE YAAA
Big boy!!!!!!
HEY I WAS INVESTED IN SEEING JOHN FIGHT. Oh at least we can see Bro. Wait how's Rose
??? JADE???
OOP NOPE. VAGABOND
What the fuck is happening I
vagabond is so silly I like him
Hey guys I think a king hurt vagabond. Just a guess. Probably reaching idk /j
VAGABOND PISS SCENE ?!?!?! YIPPEE!!!
Oh nvm. Btw can we get this guy a burger
HES SO HAPPY OVER THE. idk what that is DANGANRONPA BLOOD IN A CAN!!!!!!
HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE ON THESE SCREENS BTW. Wait I'm shouting so much. But what the fuck. Dave has his sprite??? Yay???? I thought he was gonna fight Bro??? What happened to Lil Cal???
Hey isn't that Jade's symbol on the pumpkin
Yooo that's such a cool cutscene actuHUH HOW IS IT THE END OF THE ACT AGAIN
The frick….
Anyway. Thoughts: I like Vagabond. Jade is mysterious. Dave gay. Bro creepy. Someone pls save Rose. John you gotta put your big boy pants on and fight those ogres. Good act!!! idk why people say the pre-trolls stuff is boring I'm enjoying myself
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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Mark Alan, Count of Queanbeyan
+ explanation & lore
Okay first I'll explain the drawing itself, and then go into Mark's lore a bit, so stay with me!!!
First of all, yep. Mark with long hair. When I first conceptualized how he'd look in this au, I just genuinely could not imagine him with the typical long curly wig. And that irked me, bcs its just sooooooo historically inaccurate for him to have had short hair, no wig. I sketched him and Jense out as chibis, I drew Mark with short hair, and literally wrote "haha wow he looks so bad with long hair!!" Hello, can I take back that statement? It's actually shocking how good he looks???? Maybe it's a testament to my skill that I could make this work. But I did! And man, shameful to admit, but this might be my best portrait ever 😭😭 Funny tho, guy I've barely drawn, and never as detailed as this, ends up being one of my favs. Mark, you bastard!!
^ lmao as you can see, I tried out a more Seb type wig and then realized ahhhhh nah, he needs a different style. And it worked so, yay!!! I've thought a lot recently, "man it would suck back then if you looked shitty in a wig" and I rescind that. I'm telling you, you think a man would look bad in a wig? I say think again, you're just not conceptualizing the right type of wig for him.
Also wow, its crazy thst I can finally actually visually see what he would look like next to others like Seb and Fernando in this au. Hehehe look at them!!! The boys!!!! Just need Jense :,)
Anyways, I digress, some lore notes about Mark since I don't think I've really talked about him in this au on main much.
He is, of course, Seb's closest servant. His Groom of the Bedchamber(yes that term makes me feel rabid.) He's actually also based on a real guy, whom was described as the Emperor's "favorite" and despite not technically having very important positions, he had a lot of influence because of his closeness and connection with the Emperor. So, yeah, I think that's gives a pretty good pic of Mark in this au :)
He's actually pretty satisfied with his role, but he does feel a bitter and jealous when interacting with others like Jenson and Fernando. Because Mark doesn't have a title, well not in the same way. He's a count, not a King, not a Prince. Yes he's nobility, but not in the same way. And he's satisfied being under Seb, because that's what Mark was raised to do, take care of and keep Seb in line. But often realizes he's never going to be on par with him, not in the same way Fernando can, even if he's Seb's closest confidant.
To build on that. He's very satisfied with his role, and even continues to be satisfied when Fernando comes into the picture. Fernando and Seb don't get along, Mark is always going to be the closest to Seb, always going to know him the best, take care of him the best. But he realizes, he would never get to marry Seb, he's not ranked high enough for that. He was raised to do what's best for the Emperor, he's never going to be able to compete with Seb the same way Fernando can. He really wants Seb and Fernando to succeed! To grow closer! But it still really hurts sometimes.
His closest friend, other than Seb, is Jenson of course(and eventually Fernando, after they stop growling at each other like they're Seb's dogs.) But he does get bitter about Jenson sometimes. Jenson is a prince, who had some great performances in battle. But eventually got tired of that lifestyle, and "retired" to being part of Seb's court. Mark can't really understand that. How do you throw that level of prestige and freedom away. How do you just become the Emperor's servant, when that was never what you were born for. But also, I think Jense definitely uplifts him, they just get along so well, and Jense truly cares for him, no other motives :)
LOL sorry I realize how depressing this sounds 😭 I think all of the above is just Mark at his most bitter, but he's genuinely pretty happy. Think of the whole "not bad for a number 2 driver thing", that's him in this AU. He knows his station, and god damn it, he's gonna be the best, most loyal groom there ever was!! He just cares for Seb so deeply, and it truly is his life path to serve him. Seb cares for him too, feels like he can always rely on him and always be reassured by him and his eternal presence in Seb's life. It's nice to have someone you can always fall back on. Sometimes literally. Yes he makes Mark carry him to bed.
Not to stray away from just Mark, but aaaaahhh the Martian in this AU. Just Mark having to put up with Seb's brattiness all the time, and care for him all the time :) He's so tired of catching Seb naked tho...Seb please put clothes on, this is not befitting of your station. Seb takes Mark with him everywhere, and they share the same bed on trips. Mark is always the first Seb goes to to ask his opinion. I said earlier that Mark feels like he cannot challenge Seb in the same way Fernando can, but Seb really wants him to honestly! He loves hearing Mark's thoughts and opinions. Mark is widely known as Seb's favorite, and is often seen as the second authority in the palace and in the court.
As for Webbonso? I think they really dislike each other in the beginning just because the roles that they're in. They both feel like they're pitted against each other, and ir doesn't help that Seb loves to tease them and often favor one in front of the other(he later realizes how shitty this is, and tries to rectify it, because he never intended to make them actually jealous, he just loves being bratty.) Eventually they realize they're in extremely similar situations(both beholden to and stuck eternally with the Emperor), and find comfort in each other in that.
Yep that's right...the palace is honestly one big polycule djkfkglg. But I hope thay explains Mark in this AU well enougg???? All you need to know: Seb's long-suffering servant.
#heres mark in a wig. if thats your thing! a thing that. no one asked for :)#BUT WAAAAAHHHHH MAN IM SO PROUD OF THIS HONESTLY#how the fuck does he look so handsome???????#i never in a million years thought this wouldve worked. but yep! it does!#but i will say. bro looks like he should be on a dollar bill dhfkkglv#okay anyways yes i understand that this is extremely niche and very confusing to anyone outside my circle#but i hope you like it even if not????? im super proud of this one 🤭🤭#my first time rly drawing him honestly. every other time has been chibis or an obstructed view#BUT THIS. THREW MYSELF INTO THE DEEP END. and i didn't drown!#gotta draw jense next. and his silly bicorn hat. cause hes that kinda guy#i was gonna put mark and jense together. but man i hate keeping art to myself that i finished already#im proud of it! must click post! no hoarding!! or ill never post it lol#aaaahh man im getting drawing men im surprised#im so happy w his expression. w his squiggly eyebrows. he looks very introspective#f1#formula 1#mark webber#boy king au#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#*sometimes I realize. man if i just took away the historical clothing and wigs and stuff#my art would have such a wider appeal 😭😭#but then i realize. nah i dont give a shit. i draw what i want!!! and you guys will take 1700s Mark and you will LIKE IT
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todays ch15 spoilers without context presented to you by: this guy almost forgot it's saturday 🫠
#OOPS. well its not too late for a post yet obv but i was not gonna post anything today I FORGORRRR anyways.#one of these is very. no ones gonna fucking get that one but thats okay bc i get a giggle out of it okay#fellow norwegians might understand the reference but youre just gonna have to trust me on this one when i say its mildly funny#joker out#holidate spoilers#bokris#well ACTUALLY its not too hard to get. if anyone wants to let me know their guesses for these spoilers in my inbox: youre more than welcome#there will only be one or two more chapters after this one so if you wanna play guessing game then nows your chance
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit
#sorry. i dont think theres any good and plausible explanation for rhine to still be a kind or gentle person in general#she can (and SHOULD) have her moments. but it'd make so much more sense (and be much more impactful) for her to be inherently cruel#because look at all the stuff thats happened#i love the indomitable human spirit trope. dont get me wrong.#but rhine has that in the way she WONT stop her research till shes either dead or murdered. she is not gonna be gentle kind and optimistic#she watched all her kids (that she was SHOWN to care for) get very brutally murdered.#had to then go and kill her next creations that she didn't consider perfect (which most certainly fucks a women up. no matter what you say)#made the 'perfect creation' and the way she treated him was obviously a HUGE contrast to how she was before (being gentle and nuturing)#and left him (albeit with what we can guess was good intent) with NO goodbye just#a recommendation letter. a text. and his final mission#she could have good intent#and still care for others#dont get me wrong!!!!!!!#but shes. human???#humans can be (as much as i hate to say it) a tad selfish when it comes to survival#and being antagonized demonized AND shunned by teyvat and even her own people. having to survive multiple gods wrath#isn't. gonna be good for the human psych#and it isn't gonna be something fixable#look at how furina progressively faltered over a hundered years WHILE being adored#she already started waning in her ethics and morals (as someone immortalized as a human WOULD)#with exposing lyney and all of that when it was VERY clearly the morally wrong thing to do (which her as a human would know)#and being relatively pessimistic and clearly spiralling#(no hate. i love furina with all my heart.)#if thats how FURINA started going#imagine rhine who has nobody (save maybe alice. but i doubt she'd be constant given her spontaneous nature and refusal to sit still)#shit man. even I'D go crazy and be horrible.#its okay and natural to be bitter#and its not as if anybody was there to help#hexenzirkel has a ton of women who survived their own nations falling yes#but not ONE of them (from what we know) has had circumstances any where near rhine's
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yk no one really talks about the ending glitch thing (from what ive seen) in f and c like yeah its a whole blink and you miss it type thing but the implications !!!!
more in tags
#like ive seen two ppl bring it up so far and get very little notes so sad#this is why im writing a pwish fic or well trying really hard to and idk if it even classifies as that#fionna and cake spoilers#okay so basically the idea is scarab and prismo whole roomate sitch blah blah blah scarab has been avoiding looking at prismo. like basical#y ignoring due to being mad and embarrassed then either smth brings attention to the glitching or scarab notices it and its like whu huh ?#bam prject prismo gone now its og pris and scarab is freaking the fuck out and has to figure out how to deal#then to the meat its gonna be like getting to know each other better backstory stuff and like figuring out what is going on while trying to#keep like the wishmaster position lookinh normal like nothings wrong or smth w/ the big boss#its all notes rn and i haven’t written fic in the longest but !!! i think it should be touched on more#prismo#scarab#yeah thats all im tagging ughh im so busy though idk if ill be able to even write the dang thing#i want to though 🫵 thats the important biz#mielmbles#prismo could die also like idk i got a bunch of steps and dialogue written#now the actual real question is if ill share the fic or just preserve it in my notebook like the other ones
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Idk if you saw or not but a new chapter of the fury of a shattered mirror dropped last night! I haven’t read it yet but I thought I should let you know 😎👍
awughgh HELL YEAH!! ive been away from my laptop for a while so i didnt see, thank you birdy!! :] this is the best news ive had all day hkjgh <33 excited very excited going to read it now <33
#volta transmissions#SKILLS ARE BACK BABEYYYYYYY!! ehehehehe :] oh i LOVE seeing them come back from just ''??????'' SMILES REALLY HAPPILY#welcome back to the world little ones... oh im so happy to see them... :'] ''You do you softie'' EHEHE... skills interactions :D! yay!!!!!#okay i'll add more liveblogging in the tags as i go probably hkjhg <33 i appreciate you very much birdy <33#''the avant-garde prick is just making shit up again'' HAKJDHKJ... ''You did us proud holding out til the end'' WAH... ENDURANCE... ;O;#WELCOME BACK ENCY SMILES!!! no motorics skills yet though thats to be expected hkjh <3 ency ''you have the facts'' and#empathy ''and the emotions'' HKJGH IS THAT A FACTSFEELINGS SKILLSPOSTING REFERENCE /J lots of voli talking!!! very happy about this <3#VOLITION - ''if we had the logician here...'' ''...'' ''damnit i thought that would work'' HAHAJKSHDSKJH SMILES. HA.#''Punch something. maybe Coach will show up'' HHFKJH... oh my god this makes me so happy... cmon we gotta get the gang back together...#half light!! hello!! my darling!! LETS GO!! ough buT NOT ENOUGH TO GET ARMS BACK NOOUIGHJ MOTORICS WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE BUDDIES???#''try to get eyes back online'' ''come on come on--'' OUGH I LOVE... i love how theyre all supporting each other as they come back online..#TEAMWORK!! CMON LETS GET EVERYONE BACK!! YEAH BOI WE GOT A MOTORICS BACK UP!! HELLO PERCEP! calm down! you need composure in here!!#THE JOYWIRE... OUGH STOP STOP IM SO FOND... VOLI CMON. nooo ourgh takes damage... ''You were really gonna cut me out?'' AWAH... WAHHH!!!!!#ow my heart my HEART. chemi baby my little darling... hugging him kissing his forehead... THERES OUR LOGICIAN HELLO DARLING!!#hkjh trying to cue in interfacing DAMN :'] good metaphor anyway concept it was very well laid. voli keeping track of each of them too hehe#HI DRAMA YAYY! platonic love story! friends!!! ''Neuroplasticity's off the charts.'' ''I'm surprised you know a word that long that isn't-#'''amphetamines''' ''Dextromethorphan asshole'' HAJKSH YOU FUCKING TELL 'EM! YOU'RE NOT E-CHEMISTRY FOR NOTHING!!!#again with trying to get Phys back in hkjhg INLANDDD SMILES HI THERE DREAMER!! Logic just like ''yeah. i hate it here.'' ''have you tried?'#okay this is the 20th tag. hopefully a reblog will be enough to finish out my thoughts but god knows i have so much to say hjhg#esprit: Birdy
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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finished mashle. finished mashle. finished mashle. the fanfic authors LIED TO MY GOOD FACe
#WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SUMMONED IT.......WHAT DO YOU MEAN......WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT HIS FEAR OF GHOSTS???#like WOW my heart is bouncing accross the country rn but WOW okay. yeah okay this is fine im#HHHNNMMNNMMNNNM#mashle#so many characters to love......#i do just. find it so fucking funny. after all the shit his bio dad pulled mash was like no. no one is going to get the CHANCE to redeem you#AND HE BECAME THE PASSITIRE UHBBJJNNNNNMG IM SOBBINNN NNNGGGG#im. so. distraught. over. DOMINA.........i think thats his name goooooooooodddd fucking lorrrddddddddddd#sorry someones ahvjng a baby on tv and the sounds r very graphic wth#ignoring that.#red blue gays strike again . to me.#my faves besides mash and punkrock sound gal#was anna. and mother fucking FINN HELLO IM GONNA PUMP YOU WITH#no im not finisihing that sentence thats too much even for me#u know me i love sibling dynamics so this comic FED#i keep seeing stuff ab dot having a sibling too so im Assuming its from the fanbook? which is a innaccessible to me rn hnmng#so i will just. STALK THE WIKI YAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY#enstars all over again HHCJSGSVXVX#i love that everyones so fucking weird. they all have flaws its v prominent. gorgeorus to ME#lemon has a mash shrine me too girl. but for finn.#FINN AND THATS ITHER GUYYYYYYYYYYY I DONT RMEMBER HIS NAME#i promised my bro id make him a powerpoint on the charas#so ill learn their names then.#all of mashes siblings were v unique deaugn wise i was obsessed. frat boy was so funny to me#GOD I NEED TO KILL SOMEONE W A WORD WALL AN THIA MANGA BEFORE I COMMIT CRIMEA AGAINST MYSELF
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need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭
I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO
#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl#i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads#but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice''#practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl#it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits#and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot#but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road#i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH.#he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit#and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ????#also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl#and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper#its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ???#ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town#and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times#MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL#im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord#IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING#i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think#so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly#during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone#but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us#so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl#AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM#driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl#after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad#but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl#dandy.cmd#vent //
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‘you don’t seem too happy tho :(’ cunt I’ll bite you
#THE ACTUAL CHEEK OF HER LET ME CALM DOWN BEFORE I RANT FUCK MEEEEE THIS GIRL THIS GIRLYPOP EVEN#right so I’ve got a mate that I fell out with a couple weeks ago and she’s not confrontational but she IS the type to hold grudges#and express them in like. really petty ways. so like we settled our argument ages ago and I moved on bc i have a life#BUT IT’S OUR OTHER MATE’S BDAY PARTY TODAY AND IM NOT THAT CLOSE WITH THIS MATE BUT THIS GIRL IS HER FLATMATE YEAH#SO EVEN IF THAT MATE DIDNT INVITE ME DIRECTLY THEN THIS OTHER MATE THAT I AM CLOSER WITH WOULD HAVE#bc basically me her and another girl make a trip like we’re very close and it’s a very rigid trio set up#like you CANNOT invite two and not the other yk? guess what she fucking did#i only FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS PARTY BC THE THIRD GIRL IN OUR TRIO VERY CASUALLY WAS LIKE OH WHAT R U GONNA WEAR#AND I WAS LIKE??? TO WHAT??? AND SHE WAS SO BAMBOOZLED BC THATS HOW MUCH OF A GIVEN IT WAS THAT ID BE INVITED#BC MY MATE INVITED HER BUT NOT ME#and I’ve known that since yesterday morning but I was like okayyy okay im saying nothing am I fuck getting aggy bc I didn’t get INVITED#like that’s embarassing I’m staying silent. which I stick to until suddenly 5pm today#my mate that invited the other girl but not me messages me going#‘are you coming?’ GIRL??? AND THEN PROCEEDS TO TRY GASLIGHT ME LIKE ‘I MESSAGED YOU ABOUT IT’#YOU DID IN FACT NOT#AND I CANT PROVE SHES BEING INNOCENT AND PETTY BC WE FELL OUT AGES AGO BUT IT CERTAINLY FUCKING FEES LIKE IT#and even tho id acc like to have gone to that party I cut my nose off and was like nah im gonna sit this one out it’s just awkward now innit#and she was backtracking by that point bc i think she thought she’d just make me feel marginally uncomfortable and then I’d crawl over#like no bitch!!! and yeah I was a bit mardy on text and she HITS ME WITH THIS#‘are you okay’ ‘yeah you two have fun’ ‘you don’t seem too happy tho?’ YOU FUCKING RECKON???#furious tbh im scheming over how to retaliate even though i KNOW i shouldnt#petty petty girls grow up pls#hella goes to uni
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My theory is that corazón doesn't want law (and children) to be part of the family bc he wants to protect them so he just scares and hits them away
#which is like fucked up way to do it but 🤷🏻♀️#baby 5 hitting law again ahdkaj#the officials aged like milk in like 16 years damn....#so law is someone with money that lost everything kinda like doffy which his father renounced to have everything i get it i get it#oh law had a sister too ooh.....#mr baby or whatever his name is damn.... he was a dapper middle aged man#there are nuns in one piece??? so was there a jesus christ??? do you think he gets compared to ace or thats just me#very funny thay mingo tells giolla not to spread misinformation lmao#law wanting to kill corazón bc everyone else died so its not fair this asshole gets to live.... well...#when the nun said theybwere going to let the kids leave... yeah no....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 701#jaguar d saul and the nun are the same character kinda#someone out there is going to love you no one is born to be alone/someone out there will help you and be kind to you#also trebol or diamante said that you cant win a fight with force of will and law said that exact thing to luffy....#hes gonna prove them all wrong#oh lmao even doffy and corazon there crucified like their father damn#the father explaining how they will enrich their life not like riches but like in their hearts... heart motif again#okay the father is fucking stupid lmao#yes we just moved from mariejoa and this is my government name#they lasted one (1) day ajdhask#i would hate my dad too if he was that fucking stupid lmao#now my theory is in shambles.... well cora dod protect him by not telling... i guess it mingo made his mind up he wouldn't be able to#make him change his mind#why does cora keep falling over... just a show of his kindness or is it to make the kids laugh..... bc baby 5 laughs and#pranks him with the tea always#YEEEES cora is telling law to run away form doffy bc the tenryuubitos have beef with the D.s.... two theories confirmed in one hell yeah#i need to make my one piece conspiracy board i am serious#episode 702
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i remember i'd hear about how my state is one of the most dangerous places in terms of sex trafficking and i would think, what an awful thing. how terrible is it that my state has such an issue with trafficking that it's enough for it to be a well-known, well-documented serious danger/risk area.
and i still didn't think it would ever happen to me.
#familial trafficking is a very real thing and i am not okay :)#i still have a hard time coming to terms w it. i mean. thats what happened. i was trafficked. but it wasnt a stranger.#it was my fucking dad!! what the fuck!!!!!#he wouldnt stick around whenever hed bring me somewhere so it could happen. he literally left me w men he didnt even really know.#i remember one of them asked me once 'think your dad would let me keep you?' and all i could do was cry because well.#what exactly was stopping him from taking me? it sure as hell wasnt the law because me being seven fucking years old didnt matter.#im sure some of them thought about it. i just got lucky. i only got to go back home because of dumb luck. not everyone gets that chance.#sometimes i still feel like shit for using the word 'trafficking' to describe what happened to me because i know thats what it was#but it still doesnt feel like its *my* word to use. like im blowing it all out of proportion even though thats. literally what it was.#i dont know how to talk to anyone about it. just typing this made me have to put my phone down for a minute so i could try to calm down.#and then i also had to set it down for like an hour for the same reason. i just. im gonna go play minecraft for a few hours.#csa vent#trauma vent#actuallyabused#actuallytraumatized#tw trafficking#forgetting about this shit for years and having the memories come flooding back all of a sudden has been. SO difficult.#im so tired of thinking about it but i cant stop.
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feddy movie
#EUAGH#SO FUN#okay im gonna ramble abouts spoilers in the tags heads up#dont read further if you havent seen the fnaf movie#bro when springbonnie showed up i was going nuts Its ITS FUCKCING WILLYYYYY#AND TEHENE THE I CANT BELIEVE THEY HAD THE FNAF 1 LIVING TOMBSTONE SONG AT THE END LIKE HOLY SHIT?????#it was a very fun movie. not a great one but boy its good food for longtime fnaf fans like me#i really liked how they handled the dead kids. got a lot of time with them as just. kids!!!!!!#the fact i didn’t recognize matpat right away was fucking with me. i knew his voice and fcukdibg face very well how did i miss him???#it took him saying thats just a theory and my friend pointing it out for me to notice#it was the clothes im sure#i cant beleive the cupcake was so relevant#more screentime than willy#witch i mean. sad to not see much afton but hes stinky#shoutout to the scene where he gets springlocked OUHGH#also also the animatronics looked so good???? the sound effects the way they moved!!!! the practical effevts were awesome!!!#fort scene was weird not sure what thats about but its silly :]#i cant believe they referenced dream theory chicas magic rainbow and fucking sparky the dog#uhhauhhhh i think thats it yeah#look ive been following this franchise for years i cant be normal about thts movie#its a fun movie watch in theaters to be autistic with the rest of the crowd#wabbit speaks#fnaf#fnaf movie
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#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me#bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer#and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on !#unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. '#and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out#and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like#' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that#but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to???#and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand??#also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me '#or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever#and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance#which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away#like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!!#oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2#or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too '#and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs?#or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours#anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie?#so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again!#i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me#and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening????#anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me
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