fuck you olivia wilde burn in hell ugly granny eat shit war is finally over 💋

dont worry darling should get a hearts of darkness style documentary

out of the woods (jason sudeikis x reader)

summary: after your boss sets you up on a date with your longest celebrity crush, you were pretty sure that was as wild as your friday was gonna get...turns out you shouldn't be tempting fate.

warnings: anxious thoughts, smutty inclinations, olivia.

a/n: so....i wrote the nanny thing? this is mostly fluffy and a lot self indulgent. obviously the kids are mentioned and will be making appearances in later parts, so if you feel uncomfortable with that, skip this one. 

hope you like it! (you can totally curse me for that ending. i know)

tagging some friends without who this would never see the light of the day @calzone-d @thisismysecondrodeo @tedssweaters

statistically speaking, you shouldn't be nervous: it's not like that's the first time you step into the house – by now you could probably say where everything is stored in that kitchen, or slid a joke over the fact that he's obviously organized the living room a bit before you came over tonight – or as if the man at the stove is a stranger by any means.

however, statistically speaking, the chances of you being here tonight, just you and jason, in a date, were never that great to begin with, so...

no, scratch that. up to 6 months ago, there was simply no starting scenario that ended up here, even if alexi never missed a chance to tease you about him whenever the man was brought up. one downside of being friends your boss, you figure. as the years passed, you gave up "hiding" your stupid, incurable celebrity crush on jason sudeikis, even around her and seth. it was harmless, after all. made your face warm with embarrassment when you overheard plans that included him being made? without a fault, but it usually granted you a night off if the man was coming to the house.

til they sat you down one morning to ask if you'd be interested in meeting his kids, seth's eyes gleaming with mischief as he held his hands together in a plea for you to not forget you loved their boys, who would miss you terribly if you sacked them for a hot, newly single comedian.

the three of you were laughing when you told him to kindly fuck the hell off.

except now jason's here, close enough to touch. he's here, and this feels like a whole lot more than flirty jokes late at night, more than stolen glances after a big award ceremony, his hair a mess, clothes askew. certainly more than the almost kiss that got you here in the first place, the feeling of his hand on the side of your neck as he said if he was gonna kiss you he'd do it properly still burning your skin days later. this is real, it's deliberate.

so fuck statistics, you're a mess.

"i need to tell you something" the voice brings you back to the moment, watching as he sets down a plate full of gooey cookies right by the glass of wine he poured you earlier "i'm a fraude. i actually can't bake to save my life" his face is full of guilt as he drops down on the fluffy carpet, the fabric of his trousers raising goosebumps on the exposed skin of your thighs. "if you said you wanted dinner, that i could work with. dessert...brought out the worst in me, i'm afraid" you're trying not to laugh at the man's proneness to the dramatics when he breaks one of the warm sweets in half, practically moaning around the first bite "worth it. so fucking worth it, yn"

"what did you do? these look amazing" it's chocolate ones, big and melting, your favorite kind.

"asked otis to take a pic of the box last time you got 'em from your favorite place"

"really?"

"i'm a terrible father, i know. in my defense, i did try making a batch before i resorted to cheating with help from my child, i promise you"

"jason! you didn't need to do that. we could have gone for ice-cream or something, that'd be just fine" the thought of him trying and failing to make you your favorite food was all too endearing, sweet and amusing to the same degree.

"you're picturing it right now, aren't you? it wasn't pretty, yn. smoke detectors went off, yet the things were still raw on the inside? i mean, how?" his body turned to you, knees bumping while your eyes trailed the way his long fingers broke bits and pieces of chocolate to bring it to his mouth. "these on the other hand..." you felt caught by the grin spreading over the man's face, so you took a bite too.

"fuck me!" the words rang in your ears a second too late to be taken back. if this wasn't the only thing that made it better somedays– you foresaw a long trip to john's in the near future, always one to drown your sorrows in sweets rather than the often sour taste of alcohol – you'd be cursing the place with more fervor right now.

"see, i had a feeling ice-cream wasn't gonna get me that" you felt yourself warm up when the guy winked at you, voice dropping an octave.

"i hate you" from the way he was still staring, he didn't believe your words for a second: sometimes it was good being a terrible liar, after all. "i'll have you know that the right ice-cream could get you this"

"really? where can i find it? for future reference, i mean"

"you'll be the first to know when i have it locked in. jury's still out" you snook in a little taste from different shops every time you had his babies, but he didn't need the details. if anyone was aware of how hard some days could be, it was him. the media frenzy seemed to get worse every week, not that you were keeping track (you definitely were. it was hard not to, harder once you got to know them)

"i'll be waiting"

was it possible to go through the whole spectrum of emotions in just a few hours? it had always been a silly type of question for you. you felt everything so deeply that switching up was never that easy, but, with some comedy playing on the tv, the nerves cursing through you were far different from the ones earlier: now, sprawled out on his carpet, the knowledge that jase was pressed up close didn't freak you out, it made you relaxed, even if were painfully aware of every little touch, every accidental nudge when laughter made his body shake, head resting on a Frozen themed pillow. you were surrounded by the man: the heat from his body, his scent, the way he pulled you back every time you started to drift away a few inches

you were almost drowning in him, yet all it seemed to do was make matters worse. you should've guessed it: if not for anything else, for the way your stupid heart picked up it's pace whenever you managed to make him laugh over the time you'd known him, the way every weird little thing you learned by being around seemed important. it would never be enough, not when it came to this man, would it?

"i...think i should go" before you got sucked in any deeper.

"wha' happened?" he sat up when you did, back pressed to the couch, eyebrows scrunching together as his mind played back the last couple hours. what had he done wrong? "yn. hey, what's it? was it me? did i do something?"

"no! jason, no. it's fine. you were wonderful" this felt all too easy, was the thing. nothing happened, you hadn't even kissed yet, but here you were, all in your head, getting carried away to some point in the future where this was some sort of routine to your days. stupid. it might feel easy, but it wasn't. it wouldn't be, not out of your naive fantasies, anyway. your phone was on top of the centerpiece, your purse hanging from the coat hack down the hall. good.

"you're running off like the house's on fire, sweetheart. i can't be that good" his laugh was humorless, his eyes earnest as he moved slowly, intertwining your fingers. "i'm sorry"

that did it. the way he was so quick to apologize for something that he didn't even know what was broke you.

"is it okay if i kiss you?" it wasn't much more than a whisper, all the bravado you had melting away when he didn't look away, nodding his head.

"only if you want to" this whole exchange was just short of giving you both whiplash, yet it was better do something insane than it was to just leave. if you kissed him, you would have that. even when he inevitably decided not to see you again. you would know what it felt like. "do you?" it felt like deja vu but it wasn't, his fingers caressing your cheek, the hold steady but gentle, like he knew you needed that point of contact as you brought yourself closer.

he tasted sweet, warm, the kiss tentative, each drag of your mouths together making a shiver run down your spine. for a moment it didn't go any further, then his lips parted a bit and you pushed yourself more into his space, tongue darting out as strong hands rumpled the material of your dress while yours pulled at the hair on the back of his head

one second you were awkwardly kneeling on the floor, trying to breathe and kiss and commit every second of this to memory, the next he was pulling you into him. onto him. like he wanted this as much you did, the scruff from a couple days without shaving causing you to moan into his ear whenever jason drew back to let you breathe, his mouth never leaving you, just diving down to your neck, your collarbone, any patch of skin he could reach without having to let you go before he came back up for more.

"off!" you're sure there's an ebb to be made about all those freaking layers but the one word is all you manage as you pull on the green hoodie he chose for the night, grinning when its out of your way, his sly smile morphing into something darker as you grind yourself into the man's lap, just a bit, seeking friction. he's hard under you, tense, like's he's trying to figure out how far he can take this tonight, how far you want him to. "jas..." whatever was about to follow that whisper of his name gets cut off by the harsh sound of his doorbell.

"fuck's sake" it's a deep groan, head flexing back to look at the ceiling, nervous laugh bubbling in your throat when his hold goes stronger for a second "a fucker, whoever that is. can you please get that?"

"gotta let me up first, sir" seems like a conscious effort to ease his grip, your legs a bit wobbly when you stand up, trying to reorient yourself with arousal burning deep in your veins.

if your knees were unsteady as you walked to the door, he didn't need to know.

"is jason home?" that voice is a like a bucket of icy water over your head, eyes blinking fast at the porch light glow illuminating harsh green eyes raking through you.

olivia. olivia is here. shit.

"yeah, he's..." she pushes you out of the way then, carrying a sleeping daisy in her arms through the hall, otis holding onto the back of her coat til he spots you.

"YN!" his voice is loud and excited, body crashing into yours in a tight grasp "did you know we were coming home?"

if only it was that simple, little guy.

Maroon

Maroon is looking back on her relationship with Harry in a linear way. It was the surprise song 26 May, 2023, the first show after 20 May.

'Red'...

Taylor wrote 10 of the final 30 Red TV tracks after Harry entered the chat in March. @taylor-on-your-dash has this Making of Red post which shows it was complete 4 months after they met, it's release was 7 months after 'The Very First Night'.

It is wild to me that people say Red can't be Haylor but 1989 was inspired by a '3 month relationship', yet Reputation is about Joe, who she started dating 5 months before it's release, Rep was mostly done by then. Rep's vault tracks will surprise some more than 1989's did!

All this is to say, we know Maroon is Haylor because it is not filled with All Too Well rage and the title references Red. The Lyric Video also includes a pink/maroon sunset, which similar to sunsets referenced in Cruel Summer, INTHAF and Slut!

Lyrics

When the morning came we were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf 'Cause we lost track of time again Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend "How'd we end up on the floor anyway?" You say "Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how" I see you every day now

The first verse remembers the start

Harry's unreleased track, Hunger, is similar in meaning to Maroon. It opens with a similar line "Candles burned down to the floor." New Years Day also includes Candle wax on the hardwood floors.' Finally, Taylor included the incense in the lyric and music videos for Lavender Haze.

The first verse is very 1989 feeling, they sound young, hanging out and enjoying each others company. The room mate is most likely Ben Winston, he stayed with Ben while dating Taylor and renovating his current house. some of the This is Us Harry scenes were shot there.

And I chose you The one I was dancin' with In New York, no shoes Looked up at the sky and it was

Harry and Taylor danced with no shoes in New York after 1D's first Madison Square Garden performance 4 December 2012. Taylor is looking up to the sky in the photo of Harry lifting her.

Harry also mentioned barefeet in the leaked Trouble "And we could take this anywhere / Cause were we’re going / We don’t need no shoes" Trouble was leaked 20 April 22, 6 months before Midnights.

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon

This verse remembers a passionate fight, like the album Red Taylor described the emotions from that period as red, and later on Lover as Golden. The wine stained dress or shirt here is also in:

Olivia “This isn't the stain of a red wine, I'm bleeding love”

Clean “you're still all over me like a wine stained dress i can't wear anymore"

Blood rushing to cheeks is blushing, in Gold Rush Taylor also referenced this "I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush"

The mark on Taylors collarbone may be the possible hickey here, from the night before she left the Virgin isles.

Rust growing between telephones indicates they stopped calling, Harry also references this in From the Dining Table “Even my phone misses your call, by the way”

When the silence came, we were shaking blind and hazy How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbin' with your head in your hands Ain't that the way shit always ends? You were standin' hollow-eyed in the hallway Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us I feel you no matter what The rubies that I gave up

This verse is the aftermath of the fight in the one before, with apology flowers, not talking and paying for it.

Harry cries with his head in his hands

Now that we don't talk and Afterglow "I lived like an island, punished you in silence" also refer to silence/not speaking

'The rubies I gave up' to me is treasure, rubies being the red theme. To me this is in the Pay for it' Haylor theme, however Taylor has referred to her friends as Junior Jewels in YBTM, she may have she lost friends in the break up.

Standin Hollow-eyed in the Hallway refers to the Hallway theme

The carnations not roses means they were plagued by things going wrong. Harry referenced the Carnations in the Satellite MV:

And I wake with your memory over me That's a real fucking legacy, legacy (it was maroon)x2

The outtro is after some time has passed, she wakes from an adult dream remembering her lost muse. Taylor and Harry have a surprising number of songs about this:

Wildest Dreams (Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha (ha-ah, ha) / Wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha / You'll see me in hindsight / Tangled up with you all night

Ready for it...? In the middle of the night, in my dreams (my dreams) You should see the things we do (we do), baby (baby, mmm, eh)

Little Freak - "You bring blue lights to dreams" and "A wet dream just dangling"

Cruel Summer "Fever dream high in the quiet of the night / You know that I caught it"

(Forgive me for this but my brain is running wild still about Liv being fake pregnant undercover)

---

It had taken some getting used to, starting her days with the odd addition to her routine of slipping herself into the bodysleeve, capped with a firm silicone belly. They'd scrapped the foam option during the planning process, after a squadmate mentioned that its squashiness didn't feel anything like what she'd experienced during her own very real pregnancy, a drum-tightness and rigidity, a biological safeguard against a world of pokes and prods. The foam belly also just looked, well, off. And if there was one thing Olivia didn't want to risk whilst undercover, it was drawing attention to the wrong details.

Financial had balked, of *course,* but the silicone really did look more convincing of the two, right down to the skin tone and the way natural light reflected off it.

And so it was.

Olivia didn't mind the new routine, not really. The whole op had been a good distraction, and it had been with slightly more gumption than necessary that she'd jumped at the chance to take it when Vice came calling for volunteers. Elliot had been gone for over a year; it seemed his resignation was well and truly cemented. And, if Olivia was being honest with herself, she'd spent so much time in disbelief of it, and had spent so much energy quietly hoping against it, that the grief never gained a foothold in her heart, and the deep sorrow she knew *should* be at the fore had been tucked away so quietly and without fanfare that the idea of facing it now terrified her.

She'd cried alright, abruptly ducked into an empty interrogation room with Cragen's words bounding off the walls while she'd gasped against the panic, the burning in her lungs, the sting in her eyes.

But of anyone, Olivia knew she'd never really processed it at all, the realness of it, the existence of it, or the devastating lack thereof.

Because therapy was for everyone else. Acknowledging pain was for *them.*

But not Olivia. Never her.

She tugged an oversized tee over the fake bump, relieved to see that it still covered the upgrade to the seventh-month belly. It'd been a hell of a risk going undercover with a variable like a pregnancy. But Vice had had their reasons, and the role itself hadn't been terribly difficult to play. Olivia had even done some research for it and had, to her surprise, enjoyed it all more than she'd ever acknowledge. There was no time for things like grief now, and certainly no *room* for it, either.

Olivia eyed her reflection as she pulled the day's look together, unable to help the way her hands ran over the slope of this new abdomen, and held her belly with a familiarity that had nothing to do with the last few months of practiced motion.

Something caught in her chest, a stray emotion, and her hands dropped to her sides as she turned away from the mirror.

Not Olivia.

Never her.

JESUS CHRIST ROSA YOUR MIND

i am obsessed with this. liv having to wear the belly for an undercover op, liv having to wear the belly while confronting that elliot is gone and she is alone and she's getting older and all those dreams she had for herself aren't coming true and maybe they never will and maybe this is the closest she will ever come to experiencing pregnancy and it's not even real and she knows it's not but there's something about the way it makes her feel that makes it so she can't put it down and

i just

i'm screaming over this

CERTIFIED CLOWNPIERCE FICTIVE PLAYLIST(TM)!!

Aka @clownpierced's playlist :D Cause mine was before this one and I did both of ours fhfjjs

Again!! Not all the songs are on Spotify and some might be specific versions so that's why there's also the YouTube one with all of the proper songs

(And yeah we have like most of these songs in common but y'know)

[Spotify playlist]

[YouTube playlist]

Tracklist:

1. Dr. Sunshine Is Dead (Will Wood)

2. Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D. (Will Wood)

3. BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA (Will Wood)

4. Ruler Of Everything (Tally Hall)

5. & (Tally Hall)

6. Turn Off The Lights (P!ATD)

7. A Gorey Demise (Creature Feature)

8. ENTER: A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO FAKING YOUR DEATH (Jhariah)

9. DEBT COLLECTOR (Jhariah)

10. Whose Eye Is It Anyway??? (Jhariah)

11. BAD LUCK! (Jhariah)

12. Flight Of The Crows (Jhariah)

13. Punk Tactics (Joey Valence & Brae)

14. Bad Romance (Halestorm)

15. Bitches (MSI)

16. Blame (Bastille)

17. Blood // Water (grandson)

18. Left Behind (DAGames)

19. Break My Mind (DAGames)

20. Just Gold (Caleb Hyles)

21. I Got No Time (CG5)

22. Control (Social Repose cover/mashup ver.)

23. Darkside (Neoni)

24. Brittle Bones Nicky (Rare Americans)

25. DESTROYA (MCR)

26. Everybody Likes You (Lemon Demon)

27. My Ordinary Life (The Living Tombstone)

28. Everybody Loves Me (OneRepublic)

29. Are You Satisfied? (MARINA)

30. brutal (Olivia Rodrigo)

31. Ballad Of The Lonely Hearts (BVB)

32. Achilles Come Down (Gang Of Youths)

33. Dysphoric (Cavetown)

34. Goodbye (Bo Burnham)

35. Body (Mother Mother)

36. Freak Show (SIO)

37. Gasoline (Halsey)

38. Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart (Mitski)

39. Sweet Hibiscus Tea (Penelope Scott)

40. Little Lion Man (Mumford & Sons)

41. No Children (The Mountain Goats)

42. Mr. Brightside (The Killers)

43. My Alcoholic Friends (The Dresdin Dolls)

44. New Americana (Halsey)

45. Nobody's Hero (BVB)

46. Told Ya So (Get Scared)

47. Sarcasm (Get Scared)

48. Hail To The King (Avenged Sevenfold)

49. Requiem (Avenged Sevenfold)

50. Hokus Pokus (ICP)

51. My Axe (ICP)

52. Spy? (WHOKILLEDXIX)

53. I Can't Decide (The Scissor Sisters)

54. Killer (The Ready Set)

55. Fighter (Jack Stauber)

56. Teen Idle (MARINA)

57. Enemy (Imagine Dragons)

58. Honey I'm Home (Ghost and Pals)

59. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Daft Punk)

60. The Horror And The Wild (The Amazing Devil)

61. Farewell Wanderlust (The Amazing Devil)

62. Liar Liar (Burn In Hell) (The Used)

63. Prisoner (James Arthur)

64. Renegades (X Ambassadors)

65. Resurrect The Sun (BVB)

66. Revived (Derivakat)

67. Casino Royale (Derivakat)

68. Scotty Doesn't Know (Lustra)

69. Bitchboy (The Oozes)

70. Fuck Away The Pain (Divide The Day)

71. Royals (Lorde)

72. Dear Diary, (BMTH)

73. Parasite Eve (BMTH)

74. Crucify Me (BMTH)

75. Alligator Blood (BMTH)

76. The Fox And The Wolf (BMTH)

77. sugar honey ice & tea (BMTH)

78. Welcome To The Black Parade (MCR)

79. Centuries (FOB)

80. Uma Thurman (FOB)

81. w.a.m.s. (FOB)

82. 20 Dollar Nosebleed (FOB)

83. West Coast Smoker (FOB)

84. Build God, Then We'll Talk (P!ATD)

85. Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time (P!ATD)

86. Emperor's New Clothes (P!ATD)

87. Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (P!ATD)

88. There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet (P!ATD)

89. Victorious (P!ATD)

90. Bleed Magic (IDKHOW)

91. Absinthe (IDKHOW)

92. We Both Reached For The Gun (Chicago)

93. Combat Carousel (Nombra101)

94. ClownPierce's Theme (Nombra101)

95. Born To Win (Nombra101)

96. NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A (Tobt Fox)

97. Hello Kitty (Jazmin Bean)

98. ECHO (Crusher-P)

99. Karma (VocaCircus)

100. KING (Kanaria)

101. Mary On A Cross (Ghost)

102. Running Up That Hill (Loveless)

103. Blow My Brains Out (Tikkle Me)

104. Hayloft (Mother Mother)

105. Hayloft II (Mother Mother)

106. World's Smallest Violin (AJR)

107. Burn The House Down (AJR)

108. Bang! (AJR)

109. Eleanor Rigby (Remastered 2015) (The Beatles)

110. King For A Day (PTV)

111. Black Cat (Never Shout Never)

112. Thnks fr th Mmrs (FOB)

113. Ancient History (SIO)

114. Devil Town (Cavetown)

115. Love Like You (Caleb Hyles & Ashe cover)

116. Sweater Weather (The Neighborhood)

117. Strawberry Blond (Mitski)

118. My Demons (STARSET)

119. Lock Me Up (The Cab)

120. Teeth (5SOS)

121. Tear In My Heart (TOP)

122. Partners In Crime (SIO)

123. Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back (MCR)

124. The Last Of The Real Ones (FOB)

125. Wolf In Sheep's Clothing (SIO)

126. You're Gonna Go Far, Kid (The Offspring)

127. Angel With A Shotgun (The Cab)

128. Icarus (Bastille)

129. Crazy = Genius (P!ATD)

130. Fear & Delight (The Correspondents)

131. Starkiller (Bear Ghost)

132. Paper Planes (M.I.A.)

133. Do It All The Time (IDKHOW)

134. Devil I Know (Allie X)

135. Royalty (Connor Maynard)

136. Looking Like This (Lyre Le Temps)

137. Build Our Machine (DAGames)

138. The Devil's Swing (Fandroid & Caleb Hyles)

139. Kiss Me (Jazzotron vs Jamie Berry)

140. Swagger Stagger (Lucas Pittman)

Hi Stigy! What are some books that you recommend to someone who is trying to get back into reading?

OOOOOOO by all that holy i love this question. Ok so that depends on what you like.

Want to cry your eyes out? Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi time travel but with strict rules that had me BAWLING even my ma who i just told about it was crying.

Romance? Spoiler Alert and All The Feels by Olivia Dade. Romance novels but with fanfic vibes. Adore it.

Sci-fi? The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi guy has this amazing way of writing that just pulls you in and suddenly your laughing at all the jokes with him and the characters. All the pop culture references.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells. Murderbot just wants to watch TV and be left alone. Done It get that? No no It doesn't. You will laugh and feel seen.

Women's lit? When Women Where Dragons by Kelly Barnhill, ever wanted to have your rage felt? To feel seen for all the trauma and hell you have been though? Ever wanted to breathe fire and burn everything to the ground only to find yourself in therapy and healing? Read this.

Dystopia that actually is the world rebuilding? A Psalm for the Wild built by Becky Chambers, wholesome just wholesome. Dex is the tea Monk we all long to be.

Fantasy? His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman. This one is tricky because there is a lot of anti-church with it. Now im a Christian and i love this but that's between me and God.

Not as inflammatory? A Queen in Hidding by Sarah Kozlove i recommend the audiobook highly Imogen Church voice will make you weak.

Manga? The Saviors Bookcafe in another world. Absolutely adorable pure sugar just hits you like a drug. Book 5 (final vol) comes out in May.

Let me know if you want more taylored recs lemme know and I'll be happy to help. Fyi reading is hard to get back into. It took years for me to pick up actually reading again and not just audiobooks listening. If you can use Libby (USA app) it connects to your library and let's you download books and audiobooks too. Apparently Spotify also let you download books but it costs money.

Album Review: 'HOLY FVCK' - Demi Lovato

Holy fvck really is the perfect way to describe the past few years for Demi Lovato.  

In 2018, the singer suffered a near-fatal overdose, which left her legally blind. She came out as non-binary, preferring to go by she/they pronouns. She became the ambassador for a conspiracy theory website. She revisited past trauma on 2021’s Dancing with the Devil... The Art of Starting Over. She had beef with that frozen yoghurt store, which drew criticism from fans and critics alike. 

Lovato now channels all their fear, longing and fury into big, chugging, metal-inspired riffs and snarling pop punk on her eighth album. But while everyone and their mother seems to be jumping on the bandwagon, trying to score a collab with Travis Barker in the hopes of becoming the next Olivia Rodrigo, Lovato’s love of rock, metal and emo is true. Not too long ago, they recounted the time she crowdsurfed at Norwegian black metal band Dimmur Borgir’s show as a teenager in an attempt to evade the moshpit. 

And Lovato wears her influences proudly on her sleeve. 

First single ‘SKIN OF MY TEETH’ is a formidable tribute to Hole’s ‘Celebrity Skin.’ ‘Demi leaves rehab again/When is this shit gonna end?’ Lovato drawls as she longs to be free of her much-publicised demons (‘but I can’t ‘cos it’s a fuckin’ disease’). ‘SUBSTANCE’ owes a lot to Jimmy Eat World’s ‘The Middle,’ the singer searching for meaning in an increasingly shallow and fragmented world. Though it’s kinda ironic that Lovato would decry a lack of substance in the world while choosing to align herself with a platform that pushes misinformation… 

‘EAT ME’ is vicious and ragged, with Royal and the Serpent’s Ryan Santiago providing the sickly-sweet yin to Lovato’s raspy yang. It wouldn’t have looked too out of place on Poppy’s I Disagree, at the same time maintaining a Muse-like grind. The title track has a slinky groove and dirty, filthy bass akin to The Pretty Reckless, with riffs like flames licking at the walls and Lovato revelling in the leather-clad melodrama. Standout ‘BONES’ has ‘Trouble’s Coming’-era Royal Blood in its blood, an underrated cut of salacious disco punk that has the singer wanting to jump a lover’s bones (natch). 

HOLY FVCK is as preoccupied with the sexual as it is the sacramental, Lovato making her desires known while burning down the toxic purity cult that Disney kept her imprisoned in for so many years. 

‘HEAVEN’ is a dizzy, wailing ode to self-love channelling Marilyn Manson’s ‘Beautiful People,’ with Lovato trying to reconcile the deeply-held Catholic beliefs of their family with masturbation, inspired by Matthew 5:30 (‘If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off, because it’s better to lose one part of your body than your entire body to hell’). She plans on christening every square inch of LA in every position possible on SUM 41-style filthfest, ‘CITY OF ANGELS.’   

’29,’ however, is a much, much darker.  

‘Thought it was a teenage dream, just a fantasy/But was it yours or was it mine?’ Lovato spits back, allegedly at their ex, Wilmer Valderrama, a grimy, gasoline rainbow of a rock banger that’s since become an empowering catch-cry for hundreds of women on TikTok who’ve also been preyed on by older men. The singer doesn’t hold back, offering up skin-crawling lines such as ‘Just five years a bleeder, student and a teacher/Far from innocent, what the fuck's consent?’ But it’s definitely among the most cathartic of HOLY FVCK’s tracks, its chorus thrashing like a wild animal that’s burst out of its cage. 

The crux of the album, though, lies with ‘HAPPY ENDING.’  

‘Am I gonna die trying to find my happy ending?’ Lovato wonders, ‘And will I ever know what it's like.’ It paints a brutal portrait of the realities of addiction, never truly free of her demons. It also has a lot in common with her 2018 track, ‘Sober,’ released after suffering a relapse, but this time, Lovato seeks to turn hopelessness into something hopeful. ‘The feeling I hope that people take away from listening to this song is that I hope they don’t feel alone,’ she told fans via her website. ‘In this song, it’s talking about feeling so hopeless but I want my fans to know they’re never alone and someone has felt this way before and made it out of it.’ 

Then we reach the halfway mark, and the album’s tension begins to wane, Lovato soon retreating into the inoffensive Disney pop rock of years past (bar ‘DEAD FRIENDS,’ of course). The scuzzy sleaze rock of ‘HELP ME’ (featuring Emily Armstrong of LA rock trio Dead Sara), however, is a bright spot, taunting and swaggering back at the listener ‘thanks for your useless information’ and shoving their pointless opinions back in their faces. 

If you’re gonna go full rock and metal, complete with the metal-style V in the album title and the bondage and crucifix imagery to match, then commit. Why hold a ‘funeral’ for your pop music if you’re just gonna end up getting cold feet halfway through and end up resurrecting its corpse? 

HOLY FVCK is a long overdue burst of anger from Lovato. Rather than wallow in her pain, she revels in it, entices it and grabs it by the fucking throat – at least for the first half of the record.  

It could also do with a little subtlety: For every stark confession, there’s a cliched platitude or goofy lyric. Lovato’s boasts of being ‘ungodly but heaven-sent' can also come off as trying too hard at times. 

Still, ‘[y]ou can’t have light without dark,’ Lovato recently told the LA Times. ‘The dichotomy was really important to me, and I had to take my anger out of the shadows in order to heal. I am owning my dark side, and it doesn’t have to take me down.’  

And by doing so, she’s never sounded better. Hopefully Lovato keeps fvcking things up like this… 

- Bianca B. 

HSMTMTS 2x12 Review

Second Chances was a lacklustre finale for an uneven season. Let’s dig in!

Earlier this week I re-watched S1 in preparation for the S2 finale and the contrast between the two seasons is jarring. In almost every way S2 has been worse and after seeing this finale I’m less optimistic that Tim will be able to fix the long list of things that have gone wrong. Tim has said in some of his interviews today that pretty much all of S2 was written before the pandemic and that they didn’t have to do as much re-writing as people might think due to the stringent safety measures Disney put in place. Of course, that removes an excuse for the bad writing we’ve seen so much of this season as according to Tim what we saw of S2 is largely what he envisioned minus big crowds and background dancers.

 Across his many interviews today, the one consistent point is that Tim does not have any real plans for future seasons; things like Ricky’s endgame he hasn’t decided on and he can’t even guarantee the summer season the finale sets up due to the weather in Salt Lake. I do think a S3 is an almost certainty given the show’s popularity but I’ll take Tim at his word that he truly doesn’t know if they’ll be renewed since it seems to be a new Disney tradition to wait until seasons are done airing before making a renewal decision (the same thing happened for the popular and well received Mighty Ducks: Game Changers which got a silent renewal only after all of S1 aired). That being said as poor of a season finale as Second Chances is it is also a terrible potential series finale. In large part it goes back to his lack of planning, he wants to keep all options open but in doing so Tim is crippling the show’s ability to deliver any pay offs or tie up loose ends.  

The one mostly well done plot line this season was Portwell which got a happy ending tonight as they canoned. The only good thing about the big brother angst was that it was so insane that it had to be addressed and sure enough it was and Gina got her first kiss with a guy she really liked. If Tim is to be believed the reason we didn’t get an on screen Portwell kiss was not because of their age difference or covid concerns but because he felt that everyone’s first kiss was different so he wanted it off screen so viewers could fill in the blanks themselves. Tim’s line of reasoning is profoundly stupid. Imagine if they had Jamie show up and he and Gina talked off screen and Tim tried to claim that because everyone has a different relationship with their own siblings that he wanted the audience to fill in the blanks as to how their conversation went!

Still we saw great character development on Gina and EJ’s part as both really grew from the people they were in S1. As Tim noted, EJ bringing Gina back in 1x10 was kind of the set up for this story line. The only thing missing was a brief Portwell scene sometime in eps 2x01-2x04 to set them up. The consistent development they got from 2x05-2x12 is unlike any other ship on the show; only Rini exceeds their development. 

Unfortunately I don’t think that will last in S3 because Tim will always favour Ricky over EJ and if he wants to do Rina he’ll dispose of Portwell before doing so. I was surprised that they never bothered to have Ricky and Gina have a conversation about Gina’s S1 confession. It was a huge mistake to have Gina pine over Ricky for half the season and it was no surprise that Gina’s story line got instantly better once she stopped interacting with Ricky. Tim has made clear in interviews that he’s still interested in the possibility of Rina which makes his poor writing of them even more bizarre. What conclusions are the audience supposed to draw from the Rina story line this season? That Ricky never cared that much about Gina? That it’s totally fine for the show if they don’t interact for 6 eps in a row? That Gina has moved on? I’ve said before that a wiser man than Tim would recognize that doing both Portwell and Rina will do tremendous damage to the show and he should pick one and not do the other. Of course he’s not that smart but it is wild how he’s accidentally written their story line to make for a perfect end to Rina. 

Second Chances was great and is the only part of the finale that would have been well suited to being part of a potential series finale. 

The Rini closure was a sad inverse of their S1 opening night confession. They’ve fallen so far from being the it couple of the series and I fear Tim doesn’t actually know what to do with them now. He really needs to decide if he’s tearing down that treehouse for real. 

The less said about the Valentine’s chocolates the better but at least Gina and Nini are cool again and Nini can explore her budding music career with Jamie’s help. Tim repeatedly said in interviews that the scripts about Nini’s music career were all written before Driver’s License came out and I think he understands that the audience is just going to see the show as copying from Olivia’s life. 

The wildcats just deciding to drop out of the Menkies was a lame cop out. Tim has said he always meant for that to happen though they were originally going to compete at the Menkies then drop out (presumably that’s where we would have heard Lily singing Home). Somebody should have mentioned the $50 000 prize money which the East High theatre department could surely use after Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara burned it down (remember that story line that had no consequences?). And that NYU scholarship could have been life changing for one of them and yet no one even brought  it up once this season. 

I did like the twist that it was EJ and his dad who got Mazzara into Caltech. He’d be a fool not to take it but I’m glad he confessed to Miss Jenn. She’s had a really rough season and I hope she redeems herself in S3.

Howie was acting so weird tonight and last ep that I have a hard time believing he was really so awed by Kourtney’s talent rather than feeling guilty for helping to steal the harness. The harness is another useless plot device; there are no consequences for Lily stealing it, she’s not caught, East High pulls off another version of the transformation off screen, and then East High withdraws from the Menkies anyways. Doubtless the harness will eventually come up to serve Rily angst. 

At least Lily was straightforward, I’ll give her that. She has such an odd way of speaking, almost child like. As awful as it is there is potential for a forbidden/secret romance story line with Rily. It really does not speak well to Ricky’s character that he’s so easily fallen for Lily’s act when he has no reason to trust her and she never apologized for making fun of Big Red during the auditions or making Ashlyn feel insecure during the dance off. 

The one way in which S2 was drastically better to S1 was in regards to the Seblos story line. Clearly Joe being bumped up to regular made a big difference. We got the first same-sex kiss between two boys and the first love song sung by one boy to another in Disney history and that is a legacy to be proud of. Of course, there was still some Disney censorship such as Carlos and Seblos being unable to use the word gay in the same ep that focused on Carlos singing In a Heartbeat to Seb. 

S1 of HSMTMTS had a clear direction, the wildcats would have to try and come together to stage High School Musical and Ricky and Nini would have to decide if they still had a future together while Gina and EJ had to work on being better versions of themselves. It was simple sure but it worked very well. There was a lot of heart but also a lot of humor and the show never took itself too seriously. What has S2 had? Beauty and the Beast was hardly the main focus of the cast or the writers and the central couple that S1 was built around is now broken up either for a long time or for good. There was a lot less of the meta moments that jokes that made S1 such a hit, for far too many eps this season the show took itself way too seriously. Hell even the lighting this season was darker than in S1. 

Olivia Rodrigo’s team had complained in a recent article that Olivia wouldn’t be able to potentially tour until fall 2022 due to her contractual commitments which is a sign that they think a S3 is very likely though I wonder how late S3 filming would have to start to keep her occupied until late 2022. There’s no confirmation of this but I thought it might be worth keeping an eye on; a post on r/hsmtmts by someone who claims to have a source working on production says that the plan is for S3 to be a summer theatre camp possibly with Camp Rock renditions and the plan for S4 is to jump 6 months ahead to the final semester of senior year and end with Ricky, Nini, Big Red, and Kourtney graduating from East High. They also say that part of the delay in the S3 announcement is a conflict between Tim and Disney executives. Tim wants to move production to LA and film on sets as it’s easier and cheaper while the Disney execs still want some on location shooting in Salt Lake. Again this is all unconfirmed but if it pans out it will represent a major shift in the series. 

Regardless if Tim wants the show to remain successful he needs start planning out what he wants to happen. He should not assume he’s getting more than 4 seasons. If the series gets a S3 but then is suddenly cancelled then how would he want all the main story lines to wrap up? And if they make it to S4 where does he see it ending? The graduation of the current juniors is a logical series ending point but if Tim wants to do something different he needs to start thinking of that now. I can’t say I’m excited anymore for S3 but I do really hope that Tim and his writers can turn things around and that will only happen if they recognize what they did wrong and learn from their mistakes. 

Until next season Wildcats

Piano Sonata n08

Pairing: Hana Lee x MC (Riley) Summary:  Riley was no expert in classical music but she easily sensed the tempo was increasing erratically, notes were missing and some of them sounded just downright wrong. It was unlike Hana to play carelessly, disregarding rhythm and accuracy. It could only mean one thing, Hana was furious. Set during TRH3. Genre: Hurt/comfort. Angst? Rating: T Word Count: 1600+ Notes: In honor of the CG of Hana crying </3  This was sitting around my filled with spider’s webs AO3 profile. Written while listening to  Mussorgsky's "A Night on Bald Mountain" if anyone is interested in feeling the pure rage. Fic title refers to Beethoven's Piano Sonata no 8, the 1st movement. The last piece mentioned is Hungarian Rhapsody no 02, by Liszt. Riley stands at the threshold of the music room. The heavy sounds of agitated music pierce the air, filling it with something... intense. Yes, intense would be an appropriate way to describe it. The stiffness in her stance, the way Hana's body moved, her tense expression... all of it screamed rage.

Although Riley was no expert in classical music, she easily sensed the tempo was increasing erratically, notes were missing and some of them sounded just downright wrong. It was unlike Hana to play carelessly, disregarding rhythm and accuracy. It could only mean one thing, Hana was furious.

She had to be. A few hours ago, Barthelemy had just walked out the door of their home carrying away their daughter and there was nothing they could do to stop it. It enraged Riley as well, made her blood boil with fury, her skin burn a thousand degrees. She wanted badly to just bolt and take her family with her, go wherever. But she knew this cluster would follow her anywhere. They needed to take Barthelemy down for good.

So she and Hana devised a plan alongside their friends to do so through Godfrey and everyone would leave for Auvernal in the morning. After that was settled, the heaviness of the day they just had started to take its toll and make way for exhaustion. Once Riley and Hana helped their friends settle in for the night, Hana excused herself claiming she was too agitated to go to sleep yet. She might not have said it with words but Riley was perceptive enough to notice Hana meant she needed a moment to herself.

That was something she could understand. Hana had an overall sweet and kind disposition, but that was not to say those were the only emotions she was familiar with. However, her upbringing did not allow her to properly know how to express anything else and she had a tendency to either shut down or deal with it all by herself, often involving quiet, solitary brooding, and an over rationalizing attitude.

Out of respect for her, Riley gave her space. And a few minutes soon turned hours, prompting Riley to go looking out after her wife; she was not about to let the woman she loved dive into misery land. She took a wild guess Hana would either be by the lake or the piano room, and soon enough the sound of a haunting melody pierced through her ears.

Usually, when Riley would find Hana playing, she'd inconspicuously move closer and quietly sit nearby, enjoying the feeling of being let in into something so intimately Hana's. But tonight she was not seeing beauty or contemplation, she wasn't feeling closer to Hana... She was seeing madness, and one that imposed high mountains surrounding her wife.

The hell they had to face ahead of them was brutal, vicious and cruel. This was no time for madness. Madness wouldn't solve the issue, if anything it would make them reckless, and that would mean playing the part Barthelemy expected them to play. No, there could be absolutely no madness!

"Hana", Riley calls out to her once, then twice, to no avail. "Hana!" She calls again, more forcefully this time, but her pleas were still met with no response. "Hana, snap out of it!" Riley nearly screams this time, smashing her own hands against the piano keys, her body trembling with indignation.

"WHAT?" Hana halts abruptly, shooting an angry glare at Riley. “What do you want, Riley? What could you possibly want that I could possibly do right now?” She goes back to playing a little less erratically this time, her eyes focusing on the piano keys, and Riley could feel her still reeling of anger. “I couldn’t protect our daughter, what’s left for me to do?”

“We get her back, Hana. I need you to work with me on this. Fight with me.” Riley replies, awkwardly leaning over the piano trying to block Hana away from the keys.

It’s Hana’s turn to smash her hands against the piano keys now, pushing the bench forcefully back while abruptly getting up. “I’m enraged, Riley, I want his head served to me with his blood. I want to tear it off myself!” She paces back and forth across the length of the piano room, every inch of her body trembling, her hands picking nervously at the sides of her head. “I want to feast on his flesh and throw him to lions!”

Riley steps up, blocking Hana’s path as she grabs both Hana’s wrists with her own hands, trying to calm her wife down at the same time as trying to tame her own anger. “What do you think I want?” She barks, narrowing her eyes and forcing Hana to look at her. “Do you think I’m not pissed off myself? I’m furious, Hana.”

Hana struggles to get out of Riley’s grasp, but Riley wouldn’t budge. “Let go of me, Riley.” Hana says as she continues struggling. “Please.”

“No.”

“Just let me go!”

“No! I won’t leave you, Hana.”

The anger in Hana’s eyes starts to slowly subside as it gives way to frustration and exasperation. After a few more failed attempts at releasing herself, Hana’s whole demeanor changes and what Riley sees instead is even worse. It’s... despondency. Riley lets go of Hana’s wrists and engulfs her in a crushing hug.

“I love you, Hana. We will get her back, ok? I promise you, I promise you we’ll get her back.” Riley says over and over again, instilling hope or whatever she could in her wife. Hana responds by holding onto Riley for dear life, her body shaking as she starts sobbing. The force with which Hana’s fingers is digging into her skin is verging on painful, but Riley endures it. It can’t be more painful than the ache Hana was feeling inside, then what she herself was feeling inside.

“I can’t imagine not raising her, not seeing her every day, not being there for all her milestones, to sooth her when she cries.” Hana rubs one of her hands in her eyes, fighting back her tears and not entirely releasing her hold on her wife. “What are we gonna do without her, Riley? How are we supposed to do this?”

“It’s not going to happen, Hana. We will get her back.”

“She must be so afraid, Riley, so scared. Just thinking about it is driving me insane.”

Riley couldn’t go there. The thought was unbearable. It was bad enough that someone took away their child, but adding in that he was a traitor and a murderer was too much to handle. She couldn’t allow herself to despair thinking of how scared Aurora was. No, she had to fight, and she needed Hana to fight as well. She grabs both Hana’s arms and search for her wife’s eyes. “Hey, look at me.” Hana doesn’t move. “Baby, look at me. Look at me, Hana,” Riley insists.

Hana raises her chin so as to stare into Riley’s eyes, her own moist with all the crying. Riley moves her hands to both Hana’s cheeks, brushing her thumbs just below Hana’s eyes, wiping away the tears and the pain. She holds Hana’s head in place, trying to convey everything she felt with her gaze.

“Do you remember Olivia’s training?” Hana nods affirmatively. “We use our anger in our favor. We let our love for her drive us.” Riley brushes a stray of hair out of Hana’s face and brings their foreheads together. “We are forged in fire! The higher the flames, the greater our strength. We’ll come out of it stronger. We will make Barthelemy regret the day he decided to mess with our family and we will make him pay! For Aurora and for Queen Eleanor, we will bring him to justice!” Riley said, pouring her heart out with every single word that comes out of her mouth.

Several minutes pass in which they stand in silence, taking comfort in each other’s embrace and drinking in each other’s presence. Eventually Hana sighs deeply, shaking her head as if coming out of a haze. “I’m sorry I got a little lost there. It just felt so overwhelming for a moment.”

“It’s ok, love. You’re allowed to be upset. Just let me in and I promise I’ll always be here for you if you need me dragging you back.” Riley said calmly, keeping to herself the relief she felt in seeing a resemblance of the Hana she knew. She can’t say she ever saw Hana so angry before.

“I love you and I love our daughter. I’m ready to fight for our family with you.” Hana tries a shy smile that ends up looking more a grimace than anything else, but at least the sentiment was there.

“There she is, there’s the woman I married.”

Riley reaches out for Hana again, planting a kiss on Hana’s forehead. She then rests her chin on top of Hana’s head while encircling her on a loose hug.

“You know, when all of this is over, I will have someone make me a life-sized piñata with Barthelemy’s face and we’ll have so much fun trashing it to pieces.” Riley offers, her voice the most relaxed it has been for the past minutes. “I’ll make an event out of it, a holiday even! The trashing scumbags festival. What do you think?”

Hana manages a real if weak smile this time. “It has a nice ring to it, although we can work on that name.”

“I’m thinking hiring an orchestra, go on full pomp and circumstance mode. And I know just the piece the orchestra could play, you know that one from the cat concert on Tom and Jerry.”

Hana makes a face, completely lost as to what Riley was talking about.

“You know, the one tada tadadada dada dada...” Riley goes on making weird noises, mimicking the melody of Hungarian Rhapsody n 2 by Liszt. She knows how Hana enjoys when she goes classical.

And true to form, Hana’s smile goes a bit truer now. “I can agree to that.”

“That would make it very solemn, it’ll be the event of the year.” Riley finishes the thought, grinning slightly.

“Thank you, darling. For making me feel better."

Riley places a quick but meaningful kiss on Hana's lips and grabs her hand, leading them towards the door.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep. We’re gonna need our strength tomorrow.”

Hi! Can I just say that I love your writing, thank you for satisfying my daily dose of Sonny Carisi💚💚💚 If you're still taking requests, could you do: 21) “What do you mean she’s my new partner? She tried to kill me last week!” “Sounds like a you problem.” 11) “You’re insane,” “You love me,” “Not right now I don’t.” 78) “Okay so I love you. Don’t let it go to your head”

Bickering

A/N: Hey Anon <3 This got broken up into 3 different scenes, so I hope it all makes sense! But, I adore goofy Sonny so ding dang much! Also, could you imagine Sonny jogging? I cannot. Though, while coming up with his jogging attire, Sonny in short shorts floated through my mind. Try and get that image out of your head. I hope you enjoy <3

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How the fuck did Sonny let Amanda talk him into this? She had him convinced that women liked guys who went jogging. But god did he hate it. He was sweaty and gross, his un-gelled hair hanging limply in his face, completely out of his comfort zone in a dark grey muscle tank, and matching basketball shorts. His knees hurt, his feet were sore, and his side was starting to cramp. His lungs burned and he woke up way too early for this shit. This was not how he wanted to spend his days off, and he was definitely not doing it in the mornings before work, no matter how Amanda pressured him.

Sonny finished a trail in the park, sweat dripping down his face. He turned onto the sidewalk, jogging through the suburbs of NYC. If he could just push through until he made it home, then he could call it a job well done, and then never do it again.

He was down in the bike lane, leaving the sidewalk open to the public, who were walking like normal people. As he went around a parked car, though, there was a shout from behind him.

“Look out!”

Sonny’s instincts took over, and he dodged to the left, out into the street. An incoming car honked as it swerved around him, a woman on a bike passing by his right side where he was moments before by the parked car.

“Watch where you’re going!” you yelled, losing control of your bike, leaping off before you crashed into the parked car. “What the hell’s your problem? The bike lane is for bikes.”

Sonny got out of the middle of the road, coming to stand near you. “I was letting the general public use the sidewalk,” he explained defensively.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, whatever,” you replied, getting back on your bike and riding away. Sonny shook his head, continuing on his shitty run, even more disenchanted than before.

 ****************

Sonny finished his weekend by staying at home, relaxing, and more importantly, not jogging. Happily dressed in his work suit, Sonny made his way into the precinct, a bag of zeppoles in one hand, a coffee in the other.

“I brought breakfast,” he announced to his coworkers, dropping the bag on his desk.

Amanda grinned at him. “I hope you brought extra—we got fresh meat.” Sonny only had enough time to quirk an eyebrow at her before Olivia came out of her office, a new detective trailing behind her. His eyes narrowed as they connected with yours.

“Oh no, not her,” he muttered under his breath.

Amanda glanced at him, but Olivia cleared her throat, gaining everyone’s attention. She introduced you, telling them that you had just transferred into Manhattan, and ending with, “she’ll be partnering with you today, Carisi.”

Sonny spurted, “what do you mean she’s my new partner? She tried to kill me!” There was a moment of silence as everyone looked between you too, confused.

“Me?” you asked, incredulous. “You were the one that tried to make me crash my bike!”

Sonny scoffed. “I wasn’t trying to do anything to you! You were the one that—”

“Enough you two!” Olivia said, her voice cutting through Sonny’s voice. She gave Sonny a hard look. “You’re going to get over this, and you’re going to be taking her under your wing, got it, Carisi?”

He sighed, defeated. “Sure thing, Lieu.” Olivia nodded, heading back to her office, leaving you standing there, glaring daggers at Sonny. Amanda was giving Sonny a smirk, her eyes lit up playfully, and he murmured under his breath, “she did try to kill me….”

“Sounds like a you problem,” Amanda replied, chuckling, and he glared at her.

 *******************

It had been about a month since you and Sonny had been partnered, and your relationship was about the same, i.e., driving each other up the wall. Somehow, though, you both managed to work well together, even if you argued constantly.

You were tailing a perp through a crowded street. Sonny had split from you, trying to head the perp off. You could see him in the crowd ahead of you, looking like, well, a cop. The only thing was, this meant the perp also saw him, and drew the same conclusions. He turned around, eyes latching to yours, then took off in the other direction, heading for the park across the street.

“Freeze, NYPD!” Sonny yelled, your voice echoing after his as you both took off after him. The perp had a head start, tearing down the stairs. Sonny, with his long legs, easily outpaced you. But even so, he was only halfway down the stairs by the time the prep had cleared them, making it to the grass. Unwilling to be outdone by Sonny, you made up your mind. Putting one foot on the banister of the stairs, you leapt over it, your body weightless as you flew through the air, arms outstretched. You heard Sonny’s shout as you collided with the prep’s back, both of you slamming to the hard ground. You grunted as you landed, pain shooting through your body.

Sonny made it down the rest of the stairs as you pushed yourself to your knees, taking the cuffs out of your back pocket. The perp was groaning on the ground, not resisting as you cuffed him.

“You’re under arrest,” you muttered, just as Sonny made it to you.

“What the hell was that? He chastised you, his hands on his hips.

You glared at him. “It was me catching our perp.”

“No; it was you being stupid. What if you seriously injured yourself?” Sonny asked.

You pulled yourself to your feet, and Sonny grabbed the perp, dragging him to upright. “I don’t live in ‘what ifs,’ Carisi. I live in ‘I’m a badass’.” You grinned at him, and he rolled his eyes.

“You’re insane,” he shook his head, leading the perp back up the stairs.

You followed, still smiling smugly at him. “You love me.”

“Not right now I don’t.”

 ******************

As much as you hated to admit it, Sonny was right—your methods were a little on the…dangerous side. So, you tried to scale it back…tried to. But Sonny brought out the wild side of you; you weren’t sure why you felt the need to show off in front of him. Maybe it was because it made you laugh when his accent got thicker when he was distressed or upset. Maybe it was because he had the most colorful insults you’ve ever heard. Or maybe you just loved riling him up. Either way, you realized you needed to take some precautions if you were unable to stop yourself from trying to one-up him. Which is why you started wearing a vest under your shirt, barely visible, only if you really looked.

“What do we got, Son?” you asked, crouching behind the low wall.

Sonny was in front of you, barely peering around the wall. “I see…our perp with our bait…. But someone’s walking by…and they got a kid?”

“What?!” This was supposed to be a simple bait and bust; your bait gets the perp to sell him drugs, and you and Sonny take ‘em down. But in the rush to set this up before the perp had a chance to flee the city, Sonny didn’t have a vest on, while you did. As such, you wanted to take the lead on this, but Sonny stubbornly refused.

Sonny’s eyes went wide as the perp sussed out that this was bait; he pulled out a gun, turning towards the woman and child who were innocently walking by. “He’s got a gun!” Sonny reported. He made a move to go around the wall, to try and protect the civilians, but you were quicker. Shoving Sonny back against the wall, you pushed past him, making it between the perp and his targets just before he pulled the trigger.

The bullet hit your stomach, and you grunted as you doubled over. Sonny reacted on instinct, firing his own gun, hitting the perp once in the chest.

“[Y/N]!” Sonny yelled as he booked it to you. “Shit, are you okay?” Tears were instantly in his eyes as you groaned in pain. “Don’t you die on me, dammit,” he murmured. “I…I care about you too much….”

You glanced up at him, grimacing in pain. “W-what?”

Sonny averted his gaze nervously. “Look, I know we bicker, but I…I really like you, okay? Maybe even love—”

“Carisi, I’m wearing a vest, dude. I’m not, like, dying,” you murmured, your cheeks burning at his deathbed confession.

His eyes went wide, a blush high on his cheeks. “O-oh…” he trailed off.

Pulling yourself to your feet, you checked on the woman and her child, who were thankfully fine. Then, you lifted your shirt, undoing your vest to examine the bruise already forming on your stomach. “So, uh, wanna talk about it?” you asked, glancing up at Sonny as you pulled your shirt back down.

His face was still red, his eyes anywhere but yours. “Not really.”

You grinned at him. “Aww, come on, Detective Carisi. You said you looovvveedddd meeee~!”

“I only said that cause I thought you were dyin’,” Sonny replied, huffing.

“Don’t be like that. You know you love me,” you teased.

Sonny let out a frustrated sigh. “Okay, so I love you. Don’t let it go to your head,” he grunted, moving towards the perp’s body. He pulled out his phone to call Liv, let her know about the shooting.

You smirked after him, but as you watched his back on the phone, your heart fluttered in your chest. So, maybe you had a thing for him, too…. You’d tell him one day, but for now, it was more fun teasing him.

The Rules IV: Triggered

Author’s Note: Thank you all soo much for your input!!! It helped me out more than you know! This was fun as hell to write and I hope you’re down for a ride! It’s about to go down. There are two songs that really hit the nail on the head for this part, they are linked below! Happy Reading my people!

Pairing: CEO!Henry Cavill X Reader

Warning: Angst. SMUT. DRAMA.

Want to catch up! Click HERE

Song Inspirations: Jhene Aiko: Triggered (First Part) Jhene Aiko: P*SSY Fairy

If your heart slowed anymore, you’d collapse. But it wasn’t just the lethargic beat of your heart that slowed down. The kiss. The fucking kiss was being replayed in your head over and over, the way she cupped him, the way his lips touched hers and he deepened it. You feel the bile rise at the helm of your throat and you step back.

“Excuse me.” You whispered to a bewildered Alex, “I need to leave.”

He noticed. You could tell by the way he looked back to Henry and then you. His tall frame went from relaxed to apathetic. “Is it him?” He gave a wave in Henry’s direction and then stepped closer to you. “Y/N?”

“I can’t talk about this right now.” You attempted to push your way through the crowd and caught an opening into the gala hall. Alex was on your feet, his long strides made it easy for him to catch you. “Hey, I can’t talk about it right now.”

Your mind raced, he took a month away from you, was it because the entire time he had her? Were you some fucking mistress, side-chick, side bitch… Homewrecker? Inwardly you taunted yourself with the unceasing line of insults to yourself. Fuck! Fuck.

“Look.” Alex cleared his throat and stepped closer to you. His presence kept you from bolting into the nearest room and destroying everything in it. You were grateful for that, maybe. “He is not worth you not enjoying this night. Do you know how beautiful you are right now? Every eye in the building was with you when we arrived. Make him mad, but don’t let him win. He did nothing to deserve a win apparently.”

The pep talk worked and more and more you were starting to understand why Alex was a friend you didn't want to lose regardless of what happened. The first dance is casual, you fight tears watching the woman touch his hand, laid her hand on his chest and laugh like he was a comedian. He wasn't that damn funny. You stay for an hour, it was required to stay an hour, you have done only what was expected of you and nothing more. Alex took you home, the car ride is silent besides the occasional murmur of a curse word under your breath.

Home is what you craved more than anything, once the door was closed and Alex's driver left you released a scream that scared you, followed by a sob as you felt your heart literally break. What a fucking feeling? Grief for someone who didn't deserve it. You didn't drink to solve your problems, so alcohol was a no. Sleep was the obvious answer.  The dress felt like it burned your skin, you were certain it didn't, but the fact that it came from him made it poison. He was poison, that you willingly chugged down like a vintage wine and now the repercussions had finally made their grand entrance. And fuck them.

Why were you looking them up, they were a known couple, known to everyone but you? You typed in his name and nothing but her appeared Billionaire Henry Cavill and Olivia Tate grace the Emmy's with their presence. Will this playboy finally settle down? Olivia Tate has HC's heart around her finger. You were sick again. You throw the phone on the couch and screenshot the picture of him kissing her. Is this the future Mrs. Cavill?

You changed clothes, slipping the crop top and leggings on. You knew it wasn't the end of the night. And you were right, sleep does not come. He sends you seven messages, each of which you stared at trying to formulate a response, but they didn't merit one, until the last one.

Henry: I've been looking for you for an hour. Where are you?

Henry: You left without a word? Are you mad or something?

Henry: A response would be nice.

Henry: Y/N

Henry: Y/N. I'll find you later.

Henry: Be there in ten.

Y/N: Drive safe. Are you bringing the wife with you?

You hit send of the picture you'd saved.

Henry: Wow.

The wait for him to arrive only infuriates you more, your mother had always said your temper was like a wildfire, once it sparked it would consume everything to the ground. You knew she was right; Henry even knew your temper needed to be managed, but no one fucking managed you. This included Henry. He didn't knock. He never did really, he entered with his perfectly tailored suit and an eye roll. And the lamp crashed behind him. He ducks, but his face is shocked.

"What the fuck was that?" he hissed.

"My fucking two-hundred-dollar lamp." You picked up the shoes and hurled them across the room next and he ducked as if he knew they were coming and charged towards you. You moved from his grasp. "You have been with her for a year!" It roared out of you and then the tears followed. "Why did you even come over here? Did you think I would be okay with it? Do you think I want to be your whore? Come when you say, fuck when you say and then you go home to her. Don't touch me!!"

"You're not going to let me explain, are you?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Explain Henry, tell me what lie did you conjure up, while headed here. She's just a friend. I wasn't with her." you shake your head and Henry folds his arms across his chest. "Is she the reason you wouldn't let me kiss you?"

"Are you finishing acting like-."

"Say it!" You cut him off and step closer to him. You wanted to hit something, but his face was too pretty for that shit, and despite your anger, your mother raised you better than that, "Like what Henry? Get out."

"Y/N."

"I said get the fuck out!"

His jaw clenched and he pushed his hands through his thick mane of brown curls, ending the polished look he had earlier. "I'll call you later."

"Oh, no the fuck you won't." You opened the door to Alex standing there with his eyes on Henry. Why was he back? "He was just leaving." You explained to Alex. "Bye."

Alex stepped aside and held up the brown bag, you could smell the Chinese and noticed the wine bottle. "We didn't get to eat." He explained. The smug grin on his face sealed the night, he was a good guy.

You smiled and watched Henry stare at him before looking back at you. He shook his head, "Goodnight."

"Fuck you." You whispered.

In the past hearing, people say they were numb sounded foolish, of course, they felt. A human cannot simply shut it all off, but you were wrong. So wrong, it was easier to go numb than to feel. It started with work, your time invested in the company allotted you vacation three fucking weeks, paid and free.

The first week you spent with Alex, not fucking his brains out like a part of you wanted to but being a friend. He allowed you to talk, you told him everything and he listened with no judgment and that made it easier. Tia was around too, she spent the night with you when she could, in between hair appointments and makeup slots. Her career was changing fast, you were happy for her even if you barely showed it at times.

The second week you shut them both out. You told them you were out of town, but you were in your apartment with food and tear-soaked pillows. His phone calls had stopped, but you feared it was only because you changed the number. Work could contact you via email if they needed to, but no one even called you during the first two weeks. The marketing strategy you left would do well, you knew it. And besides your certainty in your program, you didn’t care what Cavill Industries did at the moment.

The third week, everything went numb, there were no more tears to cry. Every inkling of him that existed was gone, including the $6000 dollar dress. You burned it and at that final act, the night was gone from your mind. He’d broken the rules. You’d both set them and when he kissed her, he disqualified himself.

The first day back to work your anxiety had you in its grip. Every phone call and opening of your door you dreaded. But he didn’t come. He wasn’t even in the building, according to your boss and that eased everything. You could work with him not being anywhere near you, and that made you apply to the other firms that had once been interested in you. You got two calls immediately. Matheus Corporate wanted to hire you without an interview and after the offer they sent, you were taking it. You typed out your resignation letter and turned it into HR. It was the right choice.

It was a month before you saw him again, and the Cavill you saw briefly in the lobby looked nothing like the one you had grown accustomed to. His hair was wild, and he had a beard, an actual beard. His slate-blue eyes were tired as were his movements. Just seeing him triggered you, the horrid memories of that night flooded your head and the pain resurfaced. Being numb would not be possible around him. You knew it. You hid in the stairwell like an idiot and avoided him. Nine more days of work here and you would be clear.

“Look, the way I see it, we are friends now.” Alex kicked his feet up on your desk and looked to you for affirmation.

You gave it to him nodding your head and chugging down your third bottle of water. “Yes, we’re friends. So, when I call you up at midnight and you’re with your little girlfriend cuddling and things you still have to make an appearance.”

“Girlfriend?” He scoffed.

“You heard me.” You pointed at him.

“I’m hoping one day the little girlfriend, I am cuddling will be you.” He smiled. “There is no rush and no expectation for it. But I didn’t want you to leave this place, oblivious to the fact that I really like you.”

Your heart warmed and you smiled. “Nine days to go and your boldness is out the bag.”

He shrugged. “Did I get brownie points?”

“A whole cake.” You said. You were back to work an hour later, singing under your breath when the door opened.

“I told him to wait outside.” Your assistant said, trying to beat Henry in the office. She turned to you. “Ms. YLN, Mr. Cavill is here to see you.” But he was already in front of your desk.

“Get out.” He said to her.

“Whatever you have to say to me, she can hear.” For some reason, you knew if the door closed you would succumb to him, “Speak.”

“You are not leaving.” His voice was not composed, just wavering and near weak. “Y/N.”

“Gianna, you can go.” You exhaled. What the hell had happened to him? She left the room and the space that once seemed huge started to shrink. Henry walked towards you and you held your hand up when he reached your desk. “What?”

“You changed your number.”

“What did you expect?”

“For you to give me a chance to explain,” His eyes plead with yours for the opportunity. “Can I have that please?”

“You don’t owe me an explanation, I was never yours, right?”

“You’re still mine.” The slight possessiveness came back to his voice.  

It made you weak for a moment, your hitched breath took over the silence. “Hurry up, Henry.”

“She is my girlfriend.” He said.

The words punch at a wound you were certain was nearly healed. You hoped he was going to say that he left her, the pathetically infatuated part of you wanted him to say, she dumped him. But he just reaffirmed what you already knew. Olivia Tate was the official girlfriend of Henry Cavill. “Thanks?” You swallowed. “Why are you here?”

“I don’t want her to be, I want you.”

“You are making no sense and I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to throw things at you here. I just wanted to leave all this in the past. Go be with her.”

“Y/N.” He said your name as if he was fighting for breath. “There are some things you do not understand about me. Things I would rather not talk about, but I don’t want her.”

“Then leave her! Damn it.” You bit out. “You are a grown man. You can make decisions on your own. If you didn’t want her then end it. End it now.”

“I can’t talk here.”

“Where else are you gonna talk?” You laughed. “My place? Hell no.”

“Mine.” He shook his head. “I’ll send a car for you after work. Don’t make them work Y/N. Just come.” He looked at you. “Please.”

“Fine.”

 You didn’t fight his orders on meeting him, curiosity reared its ugly head and you were gone. His home was at the edge of town, the driveway curved up a hill and lead to the glass estate. It was incredible. Had you been here on better circumstances, you would have enjoyed the view. You stepped out and the door opened. Henry had shed the suit for a black shirt and black sweats that hung at his waist somehow accenting his frame. Fuck. Were you even going to be strong enough to say no to this god? One last fuck? Just to say goodbye fuck, it wouldn’t be frowned upon.

You argued with yourself and walked into the home, the décor was much like his office dark brown woods with a modern sense. You stood in the foyer and looked at him. The closer to the door you were, the more likely you were to say no to him without hesitation.

“I can’t shut you out of my mind.” He confessed. He had shaved, but his hair was still tucked behind his ears, longer than normal.

“Just tell me.”

“I met Olivia in college.” He sighed. “We used to date off and on, but it was never more than sex. Never.”

“That’s all it is with us.” You interrupted. “Hence the reason I don’t need this talk.”

“Then why’d you come?” Henry stared. “I have been infatuated with you for months and when I finally got the opportunity to be with you, I jumped at it.”

“Don’t feed me bullshit.” You held your hand up.

“Who do you think hired you?”

“Why can’t you just leave her?” You asked.

“She knows things about me that can ruin me.” he stopped talking. “Liv is talented at getting the things she wants. If I leave her, she’ll spill it.”

“Oh, get the fuck out of here!” You laugh. “You expect me to believe this Lifetime movie shit? You got a girlfriend and you want me too. Admit it.”

“I don’t want her.” He shook his head. “I want you.”

“You can say it until you’re blue in the face. If you don’t show me, how in the fuck am I supposed to believe that this… isn’t just a way for you to get what you want.”

Henry sunk to his knees. “I’ll beg you.”

“Dogs beg.” You spat.

“Anything.” He rasped.

“Do you know how bad I hurt? I didn’t work for weeks. I didn’t care for weeks. We’ve been together a month. Do you think my behavior was normal? Do you think yours is normal? No. We are bad for one another and I just…”

How did he get up so fast? You moved back and he was on you, his steps heavy and determined. He caged you against the wall and then you realized, his face was wet with tears.

“You have to believe me.” He whispered and the fear clawed through him. “Please.”

There was an urge pushing you to leave this place, nothing good can come from him. But his face was pained, you’d never seen this part of him. You cupped his face affectionately and your lips graze his cheek. It feels as if he shutters and then you just do it. You hesitantly kiss him. Your lips touch his and the energy that passes through you ignites a groan.

“Please.” The plea is accompanied by him responding to the kiss, tenderly. He leaned into you, his body blanketing to you and taking whatever breath you thought you had left. But you were sure that he took your breath away without a kiss. His brow furrowed as he deepened it pushing your head against the door. He wrapped his arms around you, swaddling you in his muscles while somehow it wasn’t the muscles that you felt. For the first time, he was being himself with you. He allowed you to feel what you didn’t even know was there.

He pulled back from you and he moved as if he was dizzy. The breath he had stolen from you had made it's way back to you and you inhaled. There was more than a desire that flickered between the two of you.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

His eyes flashed with a little hope. “Same.” Henry didn’t wait for permission he just scooped you up from the floor and kissed you again, this time it hurt. The hurt is so fucking good.

“I want,” the words were caught in your throat. Was this right or were you spiraling? “I want you, here. Right here.” He lowered you both down on the steps so that you were straddling him, you didn’t care for his comfort. You wanted him to feel you. “You remember the rules?” You whispered. Your tongue licks his lips and then dives in and he’s taken back, gripping your ass that is winding on his dick. You can feel him through the sweats. “Hmm…”

“I could never forget.”

“Don’t cum unless I say.” You smiled before kissing him again. You bucked your hips on and his eyes widened the lust pushing through. “You hear me, sir?” Your voice was low and filled with lust. “I want to fuck you right here.” He grew harder, flinching against you. “I want you to moan my name when you cum…”

Henry’s hands were in your hair, pulling you back so he could see your eyes. “I’ll do whatever the fuck you want me to, just fuck me.” He begged.

“Did you miss me?”

“Always.” He groaned lowering his head to your breast. He sprung the from the blouse and ripped it in two. “Always.”

You wanted to believe him, but the lingering hurt from the past month. “If you lie to me again,” You unsheathed him from his sweats and stroked your hand down the length of his cock. You swiped the precum that oozed from the tip down and pumped again. “Missing me is all you’ll know how to do, sir.”

“Fuck,” He jumped in your hand and sucked air in through his teeth.

“Understand?”

“I-,” He moaned when you increased your speed. “Oh fuck.”

“Yeah,” You were so turned on by the way you were making him feel. You now understood why he wanted to be in control of everything in the bed. It was sexy as fuck to watch what you could do to someone. You could watch them unravel, put them back together and do it again.

Henry pushed the pen skirt up and easily ripped the panties. He tossed them behind you and his fingers were in you. Prodding and working, you fucking missed him, even though you shouldn’t have. “Y/N.” He moaned. “I’m almost there.” He panted.

You stopped stroking him and began to ride his fingers, lifting yourself from them and then back on until the next time Henry pushed his cock in. He was fighting every urge he had to allow you some control in this thing. He threw his head back when he was fully inside of you and stilled.

But you wanted to fuck him. You wanted to ride him slow and draw out every fucking moment you could with him. So, if you regretted being here in the morning, the walk of shame wouldn’t have too much shame. Your walls sealed around him and he gripped your hips trying to stop you from fucking him, but you continued. Your rhythm was wild, you used his shoulders like an anchor and smiled down at him. His face was red and misted with sweat. His curls were soaked, and he was mesmerized. Your tits bounced in front of him and your eyes were rolling. “Y/N.” He warned and you felt his cock grow harder and then he growled, shuddering in your breast as if he had waited forever to cum inside of you.

“Seems you broke a rule.” You laughed and continued to fuck him. He made sounds that only made you wetter for him and the man was part machine. He had to be as his cock grew back rigid and he was still shuttering from coming the time before.

Henry licked his fingers and slapped them onto your clit before he pulled you towards him. His fingers knew how to work your pussy. Moving in circles and then another slap before he started back again, and you were about to cum. You didn’t want to. You shook your head and Henry looked up at you, “I won’t last another time. I ca-,” Your pussy shook around his and your thighs locked down as the pleasure surged through your body. “Shit!” He yelled before slamming into you and spilling his cum again. “Y/N.” He rasped.

The floor wasn’t a bad place to lay for the time being. Henry was wrapped around your naked body and there was no need for cover. He kept you warm enough.

“Was she the reason you didn’t kiss me?”

He exhaled. “She,” he paused. “I never know when she will decide to come back into my life.” He admits. “And up until you, it was easier not kissing, that way when it ended… there were no emotions in it. It was just fucking. I can’t do that with you, okay? A single glance from you could make my heart stop, a kiss would have shattered me.” Henry admitted.

It was quiet for a while. Just deep breaths and kisses all down your body. “Let’s go to bed.” You said finally. “My boss would be mad as hell if I missed tomorrow.”

“I’m throwing you resignation away, and if you’re having problems out of Mike… I’ll fire his ass.” He stood up and reached his hand out to you. “Come on, the bed is the proper place to make sure you’re so tired work isn’t an option.”

  His bed was comfortable, the sheets were so soft you were tempted to ask where he got them. You slept peacefully entangled in the muscled mass that is Henry. But it was not a complaint to make, being without him for so long made you grateful you could listen to him breathe and feel his heart against your back.

“Thank God.” The unfamiliar voice came from the bottom of the bed.

Your eyes narrowed as the bright sun made its way through the windows. The blonde hair was the first take away, it was Olivia. You scrambled from under Henry’s body. “Henry!” If she wanted a fight, you were ready to fight her, you’d just prefer to not be naked while doing it.

Henry groaned and once he caught sight of her he jolted up from the bed. “Olivia. You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Don’t be rude. I was just saying thank God.” Olivia leaned over his legs and looked at you. “I hated watching him mope around here. He looked like a puppy, sad because his bitch went away.”

“Bitch? I beg your pardon, Henry if you don’t get this woman.” Henry gave an admonished look to Olivia and gripped your hand. It didn’t comfort you. It just pissed you off. You snatched your hand away from him. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” One more foul word from her and you’d fight naked.

“Excuse my manners, darling. I’m Olivia and I am so glad you are here. It seems we have some rules to introduce.” She pushed up from the bed and left the room. “Chop, chop Henry, dear. Bring your bitch, I have a plane to catch.”

We All Need The One Friend

Chapter 8

Hours rolled by as sunlight shifted to moonlight. Friendly competition soon became dangerous as personal tensions rose within the group.

"Rise of Batman!" One person guessed of Jordan's pose.

"Transformers!" A friend playfully argued.

Jordan changes poses in hopes that it might be easier to guess.

With time up, Jordan cracked up as everyone failed to guess his term.

"Okay, what even was that?" Simone giggled.

"Back to the future." Jordan responded in a 'duh' tone as if everyone should've known. "Greatest movie of all time!"

"I've never watched that movie in my life." Simone chuckled, "Plus, the greatest movie of all time is Parasite. Hello!"

"Jordan doesn't do subtitles." J.J laughed. "Like have you met my man?"

Everyone joined in the laughter, but Simone couldn't help but feel like it was strange that she hasn't known a small detail like that.

The game went on as Vanessa took the reigns.

"One word." One person shouted.

"A place. No no, a person." Another one added to list of clues.

"Uh, a painting.... a movie." Layla interjected.

"No, a plane. Wait, what?" One of them fumbled over when Vanessa switched stances.

"You're on a plane."

Giggling, Vanessa changed gestures again.

"Bald. You're bald. A bald eagle." J.J guessed.

"No, not an animal." Vanessa choked up.

"Aye, no cheating." Jordan chuckled as Vanessa spoke.

"C'mon guys." Vanessa encouraged, ignoring Jordan's rules. "You had a poster of him in your room when your ten." She spat out in Asher's direction.

"Samuel L. Jackson!" Asher shouted, jumping up as if he won the lottery.

Liv glanced between the two of them as if they grew two heads. It was stupid how one small detail held a bigger picture.

"Well, you don't get a point for that one." Simone scrutinized, gaining a careless shrug from Vanessa.

The game rolled on, leading to Spencer's turn.

Galloping his feet and twirling his arm, Spencer caused everyone to gather into fits of laughter.

"A cowboy," Jordan shouted first.

"The rodeo." Asher chuckled.

"Wild, wild west." Layla joined in, holding back her laughs.

Adding to his performance, Spencer shook his foot hysterically, while twirling his arm like a madman.

Finally catching on to his charade, Olivia thought back to the night she made Spencer rewatch all her favorite childhood movies. Quoting one of her favorite lines, Spencer had her in hysterics for half an hour. She could still remember him using her belt as a rope, shouting 'There's a snake in my boot'.

"Woody," Olivia muttered with a small smile.

"What?" Her brother asked curiously, not completely hearing her response.

"It's woody!" Olivia laughed, which Spencer replied to with a smirk.

They met each other eyes, before bursting out, "There's a snake in my boot!"

The entire group fell out laughing, excluding Layla.

Spencer returned to his seat grinning like an idiot, but couldn't help but to notice his girlfriend's harsh mood.

"Hey, are you alright?"

Layla nodded lightly. "Guess I am just tired." She muttered, not bothering to look in his direction.

Sensing there was more to it, Spencer left it alone, not wanting to cause a scene in front of his friends.

"Alright, I have the perfect game to play next," Vanessa announced, as she returned from the house with her bottle of booze. "Anyone up for a game of Never Have I Ever. The more you've done the more you drink."

Her announcement soured the mood as Spencer immediately shut down her idea. "Sorry, Ma." Spencer asserted firmly. "Ain't bo drinking happening this weekend."

His eyes flew to Olivia, followed by everyone else's. She rolled her eyes at their dramatics.

"Oh, please. Don't stay sober on my account." Olivia dryly encouraged. After all, this was the first time in weeks she'd been completely sober. With all of her friends within proximity this weekend, drinking wasn't an option for her.

Noting Liv's bitter tone towards her, Vanessa tried to ease the tension. "Sorry, Liv. I forget that you don't drink. That was so insensitive of me." She apologized, placing the booze on the ground.

"It's okay. It's not something I'd expected you to know, so.." Liv shrugged it off, dismissing the subject all together.

"No, liquor. Got it." Vanessa summed up, ignoring Liv's clear implied diss of Vanessa's newness to their group.

Asher rubbed Olivia's thigh, silently asking her to lighten up. Cocking up a brow, she gave him her iconic 'I could careless' glare.

"No drinks doesn't mean no turn-up." J.J cheered. "Introducing the burns of all burns -- jalapeno-infused pickle juice."

"What don't you have in that box man?" Spencer questioned, seriously wondering where J.J randoms items came from.

"Let the burns begin."

---------------------------

"Alright, never have I ever walked in on my parents doing it." Simone started the game off.

First victim up, Asher gulped down his first dose of the throat burning juice.

"Oh, God. Asher. No!" Olivia cringed.

"I don't wanna talk it." Asher chuckled at the memory. "RV trip...'08....super weird."

"Oh, you're gonna talk about it." Spencer and Jordan laughed together.

"Not the one to up to Sanoma. How could you not to me?" Vanessa asked playfully, catching Olivia's attention yet again.

Liv couldn't help but wonder just how much did Vanessa know about Asher, that she didn't.

"Cause I was scarred for life," Asher replied, oblivious to the questionable expression of Liv's face.

"Alright, my turn. Never have I ever bought 300 dollars shoes for my one night in Vegas." Simone teased Olivia's bad spending habits.

Tensing up, Liv looked everywhere besides at Layla.

"No cheating. Drink up, Liv." Simone laugh, unaware of the big secret she just revealed.

Layla's eyes narrowed in Liv's direction, fed up with the secrets.

Spencer gawked at his girlffriend, realizing that he and Liv might have to come clean sooner than expected.

"Alright, never have I ever said I love you just to get someone to hook up with me." Vanessa added to game.

All the boys drank besides Spencer.

"Yikes, that was a test that you all failed." Vanessa taunted, "Besides Spencer."

"My bro is a real one. When he says it, he means it." J.J admired, increasing the growing tension between Spencer and his love interest.

In Liv's case, her heart clenched at the mentally, replayed memory of Spencer professing his love for her. She yearned to have a chance just to tell him how she felt, despite the chance he no longer felt the same.

However, in Layla's case, all the times that Spencer claimed to love her we're burning in a flame of betrayal. Because despite that fact she had no solid evidence, that conveyed her worse thought she knew Spencer wasn't being truthful with her.

"You're a lucky one, Layla."

Layla's sneer went unheard by the majority of the group besides the two people who knew the jig was up.

Unaware of the conflicts brewing, J.J continued the game. His hand already pointing at his aimed victim.

"Never have I ever ran naked through a football field."

Admitting the embarrassing memory, Jordan gulped back his shot of pickle juice.

"Jordan! Tell me you didn't!" Simone teased.

"Okay. Okay. I did it. I run through the field, butt naked." Jordan chuckled. "What was it? Freshmen year?"

He and J.J chuckled laughed over the recollection.

"Varsity team stole all of our clothes, thanks to Ash -- over here --- acting like he owned the place during tryouts" Jordan recalled funnily.

"Cause I did." Asher cockily popped his collar. "It's called confidence."

"Confidence. Okay." Jordan playfully mocked. "Whatever you want to call it. Your dumbass stays getting us in trouble."

Asher nodded with a knowing smile. But Vanessa saw nothing funny about it.

"Wow." She gasped seriously. "Okay. Never have I ever crapped all over folks that we're supposed to be my friends."

The laughter stopped, and the smiles dropped in reaction to Vanessa switch up.

"Uh, Vanessa it's alright." Asher tried to jump in before she took things too far.

"It's just jokes." Jordan defended himself, not seeing the harm in messing around.

Vanessa's scornful expression was enough for Jordan to see that she couldn't disagree more.

Maybe it was her role as a protective sister that came into play. Perhaps, it was the jealously towards Vanessa knowing things about Asher that Liv didn't. Or maybe it was simply that Liv didn't feel Vanessa had any right to make presumed assumptions on any of the dynamics within their group when Vanessa barely knew any of them beyond a first-name basis.

Whatever it was, Vanessa's attempt to trash talk her twin was Olivia's last straw. And with that, she felt it was only right to return the favor.

"Hmm, well, Never have I ever spent the summer getting to somebody else's boyfriend a little too much." Liv snapped at Vanessa.

"Liv! What the hell!" Asher choked up, unable to believe that she publically humiliated Vanessa in that manner.

"Yo, Ash. Relax. Let's just play the game." Jordan instructed, trying to ease the tension he caused.

"You wanna play? Fine." Asher groaned. "Never have I ever cheated a concussion protocol to play in a game." He added spitefully.

"What is he talking about?" Simone inquired seriously, over the entire game. "You cheated your concussion protocol? How could you not tell me something like that?"

"You mean like you told me about Princeton?" Jordan asked, trying to guilt trip her right back.

"Wow!" Simone gasped in awe, tossing her blanket aside before storming off.

"Ah, babe, wait! I didn't mean it like that!" Jordan quibbled, following behind Simone. "Baby, wait. Sweetie!"

With the fun atmosphere ruined, the remainder of the group broke off to deal with their own problems.

-----------------------------

"Can you believe Liv?" Asher groaned, as he and Layla entered the kitchen.

"Not really. Find it hard to believe anyone with all the secrets that's been hidden." Layla replied harshly.

"What do you mean?" Asher asked, clueless.

"Simone's Never Have I Ever!" Layla responded in a duh tone. "When has Olivia ever gone to Vegas."

"Olivia wouldn't lie about going to Vegas. She has no reason to." Asher scoffed.

"You mean like she had no reason to lie about being in Mexico." Layla revealed.

"Liv came to Mexico? When?" Asher asked desperately. "She never told me."

"She went to Mexico to surprise her boyfriend." Layla groaned, annoyed that she had to be the one to tell him. "Only when she got there she saw you and random girl boo'd up." She gestured towards Vanessa as the brunette and J.J entered the room.

"Wait, you and Asher?" J.J asked heartbroken, catching the last part of Layla's statement. "Since when?"

"Where's Olivia now?" Asher requested to know, needing to hear all of this from her.

"I don't think that" Spencer began to suggest against going after Liv, but was interrupted by his girlfriend.

"She's down by bonfire," Layla interjected before her boyfriend could continue to shield his side piece from the mess they made.

Bypassing the other three teens, Asher went to find his girlfriend and demand some answers. Meanwhile, Vanessa and J.J left Spencer and Layla to handle their business in private.

------------------------------

(requested by mathmaticalknight; continuing from this)

“So, let me see if I’ve got this right.” The Doctor was sitting in his chair, cigar lit between two fingers, looking at Saria with a laser-like focus. “You won the right to examine Nian in an arm-wrestling competition, took her on a date as part of the conditions, conducted the exam but haven’t shared the findings, and shortly thereafter began a relationship with her. I get all that right?”

“Yes, Doctor,” the Vouivre replied from between clenched teeth as Silence smirked from the spare chair.

He sighed, shaking his head. “Well, that’s one hell of a way to earn the ire of Medical. Dr. Kal’tsit know about this?”

“While I considered informing her first,” the Liberi spoke up, “you have more powers and more options at your disposal than she does, and I want the full consequences of her actions to be accounted for.”

“Right, right...Well, I have a few more questions that you cannot be here for due to some confidentiality issues-”

Olivia nodded. “I’ll take my leave. Enjoy your fate, Saria~”

“...Get bent,” she muttered under her breath. Once the traitor was gone, Saria leaned further back into her chair and sighed. “Well, Doctor? You have some questions?”

“Oh, I lied about that. And about punishing you; actually, I want to thank you for redirecting the Nian. Haven’t had her barge in on my private time with Se- with Gravel in weeks now thanks to you. It’s been really nice having the extra time.”

The Defender smiled. “Glad to help, from one doctor to another.”

“But, I probably should do something to smooth things over with Medical...Tell you what.” The Doctor reached into his desk and pulled out a pair of tickets...to Siesta. “An off-season mandatory paid vacation ought to be murder for a workaholic like you, right?”

“...Is it sad that you’re not entirely wrong?”

He laughed at that. “No, I get it; hell, if I hadn’t met Gravel, I’d be the same way, but with her around, even my free time isn’t exactly ‘free,’ if ya catch my meaning.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Doctor, I understood.” Ohhhh she understood. “Still, Siesta in late fall, early winter?”

“I have tickets to Kjerag in here,” the Doctor replied, a bit more of an edge to his voice.

She took the hint and took the tickets. “I’m not telling them shit.”

“And I’d never ask you to.” He shook her hand while he had the chance. “Now storm out of here as if you’re pissed at everything that’s just happened.”

“I won’t have to fake that much of the anger, either.” And with that, Saria took her leave in preparation of taking her leave.

Rather than stay in the office the whole day, the Vouivre went home and waited for her girlfriend to return; when Nian finally did, she handed her the tickets. “My punishment for not giving over your exam results. We leave the day after tomorrow.”

“This is what she came up with?” When Saria simply replied with a long look, the Nian chuckled. “I always knew the Doctor liked me~”

“He said you should take him out on the town again before we go on our vacation.”

Wow. “Don’t insult my intellect, I know he doesn’t like how much I bother him. Not that it’ll stop me, obviously, but he’s got a terrible poker face.”

“I suppose he does.” The Vouivre picked her up off the ground as she gave her a hug. “I think we should celebrate our little victory. Your results are wholly safe with me.”

“Oh, I never doubted it for a moment. The only real question is what you're planning in the whirligig mind of yours.”

Guilty as charged. “Nothing concrete for the moment, but I would like to get back at her for this.”

“And what’s that worth, in the end?” The Nian pulled herself closer, wrapping her arms around Saria’s neck. “You’re already in hot water with Medical; why make it worse?”

“Hmm...What would you rather have me do?”

Her eyes sparkled like the quicksilver of her weaponry. “Take a wild guess.”

“Voracious as always.” She tossed her in the direction of the couch, which they’d had bolted to the floor for this exactly. “Fear not, Terra, I will tame this beast in time.”

“You can try~” And as the Defender had hoped, that’s exactly what the Vouivre did.

--------

“Hey, Mom?” Ifrit came out of her room, her homework scorched around the edges but nearly finished, to find Silence cuddling on the couch with Ptilopsis. “Oh, hey Auntie. Anyway, do you know where Saria is? I have a couple questions about skeletons and since calcium’s kind of her thing, I figure I should ask her.”

Tilly’s ears perked up. “I believe she is currently in exile as a result of her concealing of vital research data from the community.”

“Oh. Well, can you tell her to get un-exiled? This assignment’s due tonight-”

“That’s my phone,” Olivia noted as she heard a ringing; with a frown but no other signs of displeasure, she got up and answered it. “Hello? Nian?”

The Nian was on the other side of the call, reclined against a sleeping Saria. “You want my exam data, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.” Sweet fucking Christmas, where they about to get the files after all?

“I have some conditions that need to be met first.” She cleared her throat. “First, you forget your immediate issues with my girl Saria and let her see Ifrit more often; second, you prevent Medical from targeting her for any sort of reprisal, because these are my medical records and as my physician, she was under no obligation to share them with you at any point; and third, you apologize to her publicly within 3 days of our return. Understood?”

The Liberi did some mental calculations before nodding. “Yes.”

“Good. Was that so hard?” And with that, she hung up.

“And so the war is won.” After holding her composure for a moment, Silence ran back into the living room and tackled Ptilopsis. “We have them!”

While the other Medic blue-screened, the Sarkaz interjected for the both of them. “Nian’s files?”

“All she asked for in return was petty ego boosts for Saria; more than a fair trade for some of the most valuable data we’ve had in years towards the Project.”

“‘The Project?’” Tilly frowned. “Olivia, the Project was terminated for a reason.”

Her eyes burned with medical malpractice. “And? Do we intend to continue to stifle scientific progress for something so inconsequential?”

“...Allowing time to review your statement,” she replied, frowning and glancing at Ifrit.

“Review my...” Silence followed her eyes, and the realization struck. “...You’re right. Nonetheless, I’m sure the rest of Medical will be quite happy when those files arrive in our offices.”

Ifrit wasn’t sure what’d just happened, but it didn’t matter. “So, Mom, anything you’re gonna do now that you’ve won?”

“...Yes. Here’s 2500 LMD; spend the night with one of your friends for me. I’ll call you when it’s safe to come back.”

“Oh dear.” The other Liberi adjusted some internal parameters. “Recalibrating evening plans. I’d hoped to have this in my diary before the euphoria set in...”

💗 i would like a list of all 3 million potential pairings please 🙈

my god, i would love to take the time out of my day to give that to you, and just know that we can ship literally anybody and everybody because that’s all we ever do in the first place and you know how much i love doing that with you too. my favorite writing partner everybody, bre is hands down the best partner in the whole world, and i’m lucky enough to be able to have her at all. she’s mine and i’m never going to let her go because i love her so much! she’s literally the best thing to ever happen to me and i know i wouldn’t be here through the shitty times and all without her! everybody better go follow her right now and send her all the love i swear to god, because she’s the only person on this hell site that shows me the attention that i deserve! also that list of potential pairings is below the cut, and don’t say i didn’t warn you. 👀

send 💗 if you’re open to the possibility of a romantic ship eventually happening between our muses

all these characters are up for shipping with all your characters:

alex gardiner (paul rudd) alexander hamilton (lin-manuel miranda) alex mullner (brant daughterty) alice liddell (madelyn cline) alisha khara (jameela jamil) annie abel (luna blaise/anya chalotra) antonia moreno (victoria justice) apollonia levine (anastasia karanikolaou) arthur pendragon (niall horan) ashley spinelli (ursula corbero) aspen rhodes (sofia black-d'elia) astrid porter (karlie kloss) audrey ramirez (selena gomez) august khalil (rami malek) axel turner (charlie weber/skeet ulrich) aziz hassan (riz ahmed) bailee rose (jenny boyd) bambi prince (lachlan watson) barbie roberts (kate upton) barley lightfoot (michael clifford) beatriz velasco (camila cabello/diane guerrero)  beau hester (froy gutierrez) beck collins (joe keery) bellatrix lestrange (carmela zumbado) belle dubois (margaret qualley) belle summers (candice king) berliouz bonfamille (alex fitzalan) bernard davenport (gavin leatherwood) billie groves (kiana lede/emmy raver-lampman) billy hargrove (dacre montgomery) bindi culver (meg donnelly/rachel mcadams) bo-peep ‘bo’ patterson (amanda seyfried) brady gardiner (nathaniel buzolic) brielle stewart (alexandra daddario) bronwyn pierson (madelaine petsch) buzz lightyear (paul mescal/chris pine) calliope jung (phillipa soo) camille aguilar (jeanine mason) carl fredricksen (tye sheridan) celeste quintana (rosalia/maite perroni) chandler armstrong (iwan rheon) cinderella tremaine (lily james) clementine ahn (jamie chung) cliff egan (stephen amell) colleen lowell (jodie comer) connor catrell (thomas doherty) copper slade (nick jonas) cordelia goodwin (ryan destiny/candice patton) coriander thompson (dacre montgomery/chris evans) cornelius robinson (simon baker) cruella de vil (melanie martinez) cyrus quinney (owen joyner) daisy vaughn (isabella gomez/aimee carrero) dakota atkins (amber midthunder) dale monks (keiynan lonsdale) dalton davis (harris dickinson) daniela ‘dani’ costello (becky g/eva longoria) dash parr (jaden smith) delilah diaz (camila cabello/diane guerrero) delphine washington (antonia thomas) delta montgomery (manu gavassi) denver koch (thomas elms) devon montgomery (iain de caestecker) diego hargreeves (david castaneda) dorcas meadowes (ariela barer) dory blau (julia louise-dreyfus) duke blaise (ashley graham & matthew daddario — reincarnated)  duncan traeger (zac efron) edmund whittaker (richard madden) edwin orwell (nicholas galitzine) elena flores (jenna ortega) eleonora moretti (benedetta gargari) eleven (millie bobby brown) elio montgomery (noah schnapp/brendon urie) elisabeth ‘elsa’ andersson (candice king) elliott murdoch (kj apa) eloise thompson (taylor hill/zoey deutch) elwood leith (sam claflin) emerson wheaton (beau mirchoff) emily sondheim (eve fraser) emmy silverstein (nat wolff/michiel huisman) ericka ‘ricki’ santos (danna paola) esmeralda guybertaut (priyanka chopra) everest sorenson (adam driver) ezekiel ‘zeke’ bauer (neels visser) fa mulan (awkwafina) felix dawson (lukas gage) ferris rockwell (joshua bassett) five hargreeves (aidan gallagher/rob raco/john mulaney) florence prata (barbie ferreira) flynn rider (jacob elordi/steven r mcqueen) frank castle (jon bernthal) gabrielle dupres (louriza tronco) genevieve rizzo (troian bellisario) gill moorish (harrison ford) godwin vivar (diego boneta) grainger anslow (justin hartley) grant wesley (keanu reeves) griffin price (liam hemsworth) guinevere ‘gwen’ flores (ester exposito/ana de armas) gulliver kennedy (robert sheehan) gunner mccoy (miles heizer) halston krogen (nick robinson) hamish duke (thomas elms) harper graves (sydney sweeney) harry potter (alberto rosende) harvey wolff (joaquin phoenix) hawke bradbury (brenton thwaites) helen parr (megan thee stallion/kerry washington) hendrix palmer (mark fischbach) henley howell (dylan everett/paul wesley) henrik nilsen (herman tommeraas/chris evans) hercules sabri (aubrey joseph) hermione granger (quintessa swindell) holden krogen (jack falahee) holly la stella (olivia holt) honey lemon (irene ferreiro) hudson reid (jaeden lieberher/paul mescal/james mcavoy) irving reid (matty healy) isobel evans (lily cowles) jacoba ‘cobi’ abernathy (geraldine viswanathan) jake bennett (joe jonas) jake breckenridge (landon liboiron) james potter (noah centineo) james ‘sully’ sullivan (hozier) jane porter (zoe sugg) jasmine agrabah (naomi scott) jessica jones (krysten ritter) jim hopper (david harbour) johanna ‘jo’ gardiner (carlson young) josefine olive (lili reinhart/maika monroe) joseph ‘joey’ carnegie (chris o'dowd) juliette russo (camila mendes) juno nicks (gideon adlon/linda cardellini) justin miller (michael b. jordan) keaton green (charlie plummer/austin butler/alexander skarsgard) keifer fry (nathan parsons) kennedy sutherland (florence pugh) khalid farid (mena massoud) kiernan jost (jack barakat) kiki penn (natalie alyn lind)  kim possible (karen gillan) kit dempsey (aaron taylor-johnson/michael sheen) kristoff bjorgman (ben hardy) kuzco inca (tommy martinez) lady alvarez (camila cabello/diane guerrero) lake montgomery (jace norman/casey deidrick/jeff goldblum) lazarus (sean teale/tom ellis) lennox wells (billie piper) leonardo ‘leo’ light (armie hammer) levi wesley (gerard butler) liam wheaton (lucas lynngaard tonnesen/dominic sherwood) lilac montgomery (sophia lillis/deborah ann woll) lila pitts (ritu arya) lilo pelekai (courtney eaton) lola carver (carla gugino) macy merritt (kylie jenner) madeline hawkins (rowan blanchard/kaylee bryant) madison bloomfield (gwyneth paltrow) maggie wheaton (virginia gardner) maria deluca (heather hemmens) mariana de la cruz (victoria justice/salma hayek) marianne darden (elizabeth olsen) marisol torres (alexa demie/salma hayek) marlene phan (brianne tju) matilda franks (brooke markham) matthew murdock (charlie cox) max tian (chloe bennet) mckenzie whitman (danielle rose russell) megara creon (ashley moore) melanie carter (brenna d'amico/zooey deschanel) melody burns-newman (camren bicondova) mercutio bellini (giancarlo commare) merida dunbroch (bree kish) michael ‘goob’ yagoobian (dylan o’brien/andrew scott) mickey hader (shawn mendes) miguel rivera (diego tinoco) mike wheeler (finn wolfhard) mildred ‘millie’ brantwood (stella maeve) milo martinez (itzan escamilla/tyler posey) milo thatch (jason ralph) minerva ‘minnie’ winslett (jenna coleman) mischa locklear (jenny slate) moana motunui (auli'i cravalho) molly wheaton (saoirse monica jackson/kristen bell/kristin chenoweth) monet bugg (annie murphy) mordecai ‘cai’ baird (joseph morgan) murray bauman (brett gelman) nadja (natasia demetriou) naomi phillips (hunter king) natalie fuller (krysten ritter) nate gardiner (tom holland/thomas hayes/joe keery/adam scott) nemo fisher (nick robinson) nick novak (jon bernthal) nick wilde (jake johnson) nina baxter (laura harrier) nolan van ness (louis hynes/benjamin wadsworth) nymphadora tonks (kennedy walsh) odessa barnes (inanna sarkis) osbourne russo (oliver jackson-cohen) otis richardson (finn jones) owen monroe (zachary levi) paloma katz (brittany o'grady) paxton gardiner (douglas booth) pearl turner (maia mitchell/aubrey plaza) penny proud (sarah jeffery) perdita ryan (alisha boe/zoe kravitz) perrie wheaton (ariela barer/jessica alba) peter pan (rudy pankow) peter pettigrew (alex lawther) phil mcdermot (leo howard/dylan o’brien) phineas flynn-fletcher (michael provost) piper donahue (millie bobby brown/katherine langford/felicity jones) pippa mei (amy okuda) pollux isola (camila mendes) portia sadler (hayden panettiere) prairie gallagher (lucy boynton) quaid ‘q’ wright (jake gylenhaal) quinton saunders (jamie dornan) rain montgomery (nick jonas) ramona montgomery-wallis (lana condor/ashley park) reed knightley (arthur darvill) reign fentworth (madison bailey/vanessa morgan) reno thames (joshua bassett) richie tozier (finn wolfhard/bill hader) river montgomery (jack griffo/tyler blackburn) robin buckley (maya hawke) roger holtz (ben platt) roger radcliffe (aaron tveit) romy reyes (carmela zumbado) ronald ‘mac’ mcdonald (rob mcelhenney) roosevelt banks (spence moore II) rowan burke (andy biersack) roxanne sutton (lady gaga) rush mccoy (cody fern) russell montgomery (ian harding/hugh jackman) russell montgomery II (jack dylan grazer/timothee chalamet/adam brody) sable rosales (catherine bascoy) saint fentworth (reece king) sally finklestein (marina ruy barbosa) salvador ‘sal’ mendoza (jorge blanco) samson gardiner (cole sprouse) sandy diamandis (christina hendricks) sawyer bell (penn badgley) seamus kennedy (aria shanghasemi/michael sheen) seb seif (zeeko zaki) selena hada (camila cabello/diane guerrero) severus snape (rob raco) shawn taggart (ben barnes) shay strauss (chris wood) shia zoheir (rami malek) shiloh young (devery jacobs) shiri madani (inbar lavi) simba king (john boyega) sloane shapiro (diana silvers/linda cardellini) sofia ramirez (camila cabello/camila mendes/morena baccarin/fluvia lacerda) stefani vidal (louriza tronco) stella romero (adria arjona) steve harrington (joe keery) stevie wagner (anne hathaway/jennifer garner) sutton reiser (katherine langford/kat dennings) tandy hawthorne (giorgia whigham) tanner cohen (ross lynch) tarrant ‘mad hatter’ hightopp (hale appleman) tarryn fischer (giorgia whigham/perry mattfeld) tatum barton (ben schwartz) teddy flood (james marsden) tex navarro (bad bunny) thad abraham (dylan sprouse/chris evans) the handler (kate walsh) thomas gardiner (felix mallard/paul rudd) tierney kennedy (maisie williams) timothy ‘tigger’ trigger (jeremy allen white) tinker bell (sabrina carpenter) tj lieberman (armie hammer) tommy burns (will poulter) topher larkin (alexander hogh andersen) trey turner (jonathan daviss) ursula celia (normani/lizzo) vaughn abel (max greenfield) veronica lodge (camila mendes) vidia viento (emma dumont) vivica lang (madison pettis/tessa thompson) wanda cowell (brenda song) warren wentz (robert pattinson) wendell langston (link neal) wilbur robinson (david mazouz) winnie knox (sophie turner/jessica chastain) wren green (alexander calvert) wynona winstead (sarah hyland/cristin milioti) xander talbot (g-eazy) york pemberton (heather baron-gracie) yusef barlas (zayn malik) zack abrams (alex fitzalan) ziggy (taron egerton) zoey matthews (olivia munn)

Favorite lyrics from each of my top ten songs

Glass Animals~Heat Waves:

You just need a better life than this

You need something I can never give.

Fake water all across the road,

It’s gone now the night is calm but-

Sometimes all I think about is you

Late nights in the middle of June.

Heat waves been faking me out

Can’t make you happier now.

Taylor Swift~Wildest Dreams:

You’ll see me in hindsight

Tangled up with you all night

Burning it down.

Someday when you leave me,

I’ll bet these memories

Follow you around.

Olivia Rodrigo~driver’s license:

Red lights, stop signs

I still see your face in the

White cars, front yards

Can’t drive past the places

We used to go to

Cause I still fucking love you,

babe.

LP~Girls Go Wild:

Take my love, take my soul

You just take what you can.

When we fuck

Now it feels like you don’t understand.

LP~Lost on You:

Burnin’ like embers falling,

Tender, longing

For the days of no surrender

Years ago.

And well you know?

So smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em,

Cause it’s going down.

All I ever wanted was you.

Lana Del Ray~Summertime Sadness:

Oh, my god

I feel it in the air.

Telephone wires, above,

All sizzlin like a snare

Honey, I’m on fire, I feel it everywhere,

Nothing scares me anymore

(One, two, three, four).

[…]

Think I’ll miss you forever,

Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky.

Late is better than never.

Even if you’re gone, I’m gonna drive.

Lord Huron~Meet Me In the Woods:

I have seen what the darkness does,

Say goodbye to who I was.

I ain’t never been away so long,

Don’t look back, them days are gone.

Follow me into the endless night,

I can bring your fears to life.

Show me yours and I’ll show you mine,

Meet me in the woods tonight.

Duncan Laurence~Arcade:

I’ve spent all of the love I saved.

We were always a losing game.

Small town boy in a big arcade,

I got addicted to a losing game.

Quinn XCII & ayokay~Kings of Summer- Single Version:

Jumping off the porch like mom’s not home,

Tell me why the best things feel so wrong.

Summer nights, love ‘em how they take so long.

Run with the feeling

Of being alive while we’re still young.

Tom Petty~I Won’t Back Down:

Well, I won’t back down.

No, I won’t back down.

You could stand me up at the gates of hell,

But I won’t back down.

No, I’ll stand my ground.

Won’t be turned around.

And I’ll keep this world from dragging me down,

Gonna stand my ground,

And I won’t back down.