#old-ish vent art
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Lost in the Fire
#art#dragons#fantasy art#dragon#fantasy creatures#inks#ink art#seramore#wdhgwid#burn#old-ish vent art#the horror of grief
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#rxg1nald art#not tagging the other ones cause ummmmmmmm#this one is more vent ish kinda#but i like how it came out so thats why im sharing#idk man its been like a day im tired#might draw morice and k’nuckles if i still feel like picking up my pen#i will be okay chat!!!!!!#i think the old man would be chill with me#at least a little bit
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Confusion With Oneself
February 23rd, 2024
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Cringe is dead, draw your middle school furry ocs and think about how you’re still an angry, sad kid, just older.
#thirteen-year-old dragonkidalumnus would be ECSTATIC#anyway#vent art#sort of?#alum does art#alum’s characters#art redraw#oc revamp#furry art#drawing on the right is from 2014-ish
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posting my sona/oc because i felt like it on a whim so here she is lol
her name's baek-ryang (백량, meaning white coldness, loneliness or cleanliness/purity), based off of a japanese long-tailed tit or shimaenaga! funny considering her name is in korean
i ought to draw her more, it's been a hot minute since the last time i drew her and that was for my own birthday... 😂
#⋘ 『 ─ noms' art; 』 ⋙#oc#baek-ryang#really need to update her... shoddy excuse of a ref sheet#some of these are a bit vent-ish but ignore that#all of these except for the last drawing are old art after all lmao 😂#she's somewhat of a shapeshifter#mostly limited to humanoid and bird form tho#rkgk
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Does anyone have any tips for dealing w what i can only describe as Fussy Toddler Brain
#like. idk its executive disfunction combined w a delightful helping of Something is Wrong but idk What is Wrong#and its also not Wrong enough to be a Real Actual Issue just enough to not let me get anything done#plz brain i have homework i dont have time for u to do this why are you upset#like. u know how some sewing machines can Sense Fear and only like certain people like an ornery old horse?#i feel like both the sewing machine and the poor fool trying to operate it#and i Just Ate Food so i know its not low blood sugar or anything#hodgepodge's rambles#vent#ish????#idek its not Vent Worthy its just i wanna work on art homework!!! but i cant!!! i am Stuck!!! and Grumpy!!!! for no reason!!!!
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i wish all people i was mutuals with years ago but who suddenly vanished from the internet and deactivated without a trace a very i miss you
#going through old deviantart posts and comments and really feeling this#seeing ppl i was mutuals with from like 2017-2019 just no longer posting in years or deactivated with no way for me to find them...#also when ppl i didnt know i watched suddenly post for the first time in years and then i go through all their art from the past decade#i hate feeling nostalgic and knowing we will never get those times back#you never really appreciate the moment until it is gone and you can never get it back#vent...ish#rambles
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sometimes i wonder if what i'm saying and doing is offensive to people on the autism spectrum since i am not diagnosed.
And sometimes i want to taste the protagonist from some old detective fiction.
Would this be classified as a repost of my art? Eh idk
#vent? ish?#tw vent#i still really like this art#even if it is a little old#hihihi old married twice man with not enough synonyms to describe his long thin friend#he needs more#give this man a dictionary#or google#my art#sketch
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Wondering why I feel so bad about my body and then remembering I haven't been able to take my antidepressants in two days 💀
#I'll be normal again tomorrow <3#not art#vent ish???#no but legit I like. I have really bad body image issues from Ye Olde Anorexia Days and it's been FUCKING me
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woah hey a year has been passed wowie :0
First two weren't posted here cos they were too long ago & not CJish related but love the way he took up 70% of the year lol
[ Full images + templates below :} ]
[TW for Bright Colors, maybe blood & very very vague themes of depression/suicide for like 2 drawings I believe]
Long text about the arts if anyones actually curious!!
January: An old OC I completely forgot about until making this. He's based on old radio like things :}
February: Played Person 5 Royal last year & drew Joker cos idk he's neat. Fun fact, the same day I fully finished the game was the day Storm & a Spring came out. Also while grinding in the game, I had his Bidding & VoaC covers on repeat. Which was a bit annoying to do since they weren't on Spotify yet & YT on mobile didn't have looping then.
March: The Hawaii Part ii album cover :} I did post that eventually but that's the time I actually made it. Had listened to TME a couple of months before then which got me into the album, so months later I drew it cos why not? [Also the month Vol.1 fully released on everything. What's funny is my gallery for that day was a handful of memes I saved at 4am before I fell asleep. And then the next image saved is when I woke up which was a screenshot of the whiteboard in TfaR lol]
April: First main Jash art !!! And its not even with any of the songs from Vol. 1 lol. I had his Moss cover on repeat again & now that all of Vol. 1 was out, I drew Heart in some moss. Or really in the image from the video.
May: Lil animation I made of Heart with the song Don't Hit the Lights! Link to my post & the song can be found here :}. Still really like the song & even the drawings. Might remake em eventually idk
June: Sky/socialc1imb's Clue AU! I like murder mysteries & this one was real interesting so I drew it a lot lol. Might remake that one or one of the others I made at somepoint? It'll be a bit later if I do but ye
July: A redraw of a HMS piece I originally made back in May, based on the Three Wise Monkeys thing. I like the idea of it so I keep wanting to remake it.
August: I honestly can't remember if I posted that art or not. Actually yea I don't think I ever did PFFT. It's one of the few drawings I did of myself this year & its from CJs Not Perfect cover [as you can tell by the lyrics on it]. Also one of the very very few vent-ish arts I made. I like the background more than anything but its still neat ig?
September: Art for one of the best songs ever. I love Fine, I'm Fine its so good & I listened to it for like 70% of the 20+ hours it took me to make the drawing. Still proud of it so there's the sketch I drew on paper, the one on my tablet & then the final versions.
October: There was a lot from this month due to Jashtober. I still like this one lot & it wasn't insanely rushed so I picked this one to show lol.
November: I have no idea why I made a fun lil soul. I was having an identity crisis over my art style & ig decided to draw the guy who is a walking identity crisis/j
December: Same as September. One of my favorite songs ever was covered & released, so I made a drawing like everyone else lol.
#time is wild#also love the way my art style changes each month or two#anyway tho im actually pretty happy with how much better I've gotten#have a lotta plans for more HMS/CJ stuff#just quite busy & overloaded atm lol#more will hopefully come tho#chonny jash#moss post#-atlas art-
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Half IT here, how long have you had Arson? and I would make sure the fans are actually working and not just making funny sounds that sound like they're working- maybe keep an eye on the battery inside in case it starts to expand or anything (or replace if its really old)
And my ps4 overheats, but i just have wooden blocks under its four corners to keep heat from trapping under it. Maybe a similar set up could help?
This is he:
I've had him for a few years now, about 4+ ish I think?
Lets walk over to the power settings real quick-whoops, accidently unplugged Arson from the wall /j
It says 2 minutes Arson can't survive but maybe 30 seconds max. Do not suggest replaceing the battery, please, I have tried everything in my power to get one.
Dell has discontinued my laptop's battery and would rather me trade it in for 1/8th of the price I paid for it to get a new laptop, and the only other alteranate part I could find has been out of stock for 11 months. I'm mad about it and made like 50 posts about how technology isn't meant to last anymore and big companies bank on it but alas.
anyway
The fans work fine, they're not making any noise and they respond just fine when I change the settings, and automatically if I run something intensive, and I've cleaned them so there's no dust.
Take a look at temp core:
Everything looks good now. I was going to run skyrim or something intensive like what I use daily, like art programs or stream labs, or even calmly writer, but I don't want to deal with a hotter keyboard at the moment lkdhgslkdgs. Twitch stream chat sometimes gets to view the tempcore live and watch the numbers, and it's pretty funny.
I usually get a notifciation if it gets too hot and will shut off to protect the system, so I shut it down or use ice/fridge trick and it works.
Also I know it's a joke but Arson really DOES work as a pretty good heater in winter months. The back of the laptop is basically a big vent that pumps out hot air.
Sometimes he crashes randomlybut thats,,fine. Dell's hardware tests dont bring up anything I don't already know and I have a SDD and extra internal harddrive thats a Terabytes worth so it's not storage
(I have money put back for a new laptop when this shell yeets, since it's slowly deterioating, so it'll be fine when it does as long as my art and stuff is backed up)
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I just finished reading Johnny the Homicidal Maniac by Jhonen Vasquez. To be honest, I didn't really know what to expect going in- all I've ever heard about it was from people going "Can you believe Nickelodeon asked a guy who makes stuff like that to make a children's show!?" After reading it, I can say that it's definitely interesting in a way I don't think any basic plot description could've fully prepared me for, and I kind of want to dump my thoughts about it as I just come away from it.
As the title would suggest, its most noticeable surface-level feature is that there is a lot of gore. It gets about as brutal and graphic as it can with its cartoony art style- I was actually a little bothered by it a couple of times. There are a lot of things reminiscent of Invader ZIM beyond its art style- it shares a lot of the same humor, its randomness (often to the point of stupidity), and the chaotic nature of the story progression. (There are also two aliens that show up in a few pages that I'm pretty sure are the same aliens that appeared in the IZ episode Abducted, which would mean that ZIM and JTHM take place in the same universe...? Interesting.) In a lot of ways, it had the same energy as ZIM, but lacking the restraints of a children's network- admittedly, it was very fun and tickled the twelve-year-old ZIM fan part of my brain.
The story itself is a bit trippy and somewhat disjointed. There are lots of times where Johnny will go on long monologues about how he sees himself and the world (alongside blocks of text at the beginning and end of each issue from Jhonen himself). The actual story is cut up in-between little unrelated comics of various characters getting slaughtered and mutilated in some way, facing their inner turmoils and making other people miserable, or yelling incoherent word salads and then getting murdered. You are often left unsure as to whether some of the story's events were really happening or just Johnny dreaming or making things up. It also gets kind of cosmic horror-ish at one point, but that proceeds to end itself somewhat abruptly.
I haven't looked at any discussion of the comic and what it's *really* about yet, but my first impression coming out of it is that it's... a lot of things, really? It's a nihilistic black comedy, but I got the feeling that it was also somewhat of a vent story- A lot of JTHM is dark humor and absurd scenarios for the sake of societal criticism and expressing frustration with the world. It brings up a lot of ideas about what the "nature" of humanity is, if there is a caring God, the good and bad of living, and ultimately, what the true "evils" of society are and what causes them- all told through the eyes of a weird morally bankrupt loner that likes torturing and murdering people he doesn't like.
Most of the people that Johnny goes after are assholes and bullies, generally bad people, or anyone that just generally upsets or inconveniences him in day-to-day life. His arc throughout the story is discovering who and what "controls" him in his search for true freedom- and through that, he realizes that he, himself, is a massive contributor to why everything is so awful, eventually seeing people like himself as one of society's issues (but not really doing anything to change or control his behavior, which, to me, suggested he really never attained the "freedom" he desired so much). It was quite interesting to have a main character like that.
And, while I do not really know anything about Jhonen Vasquez as a person, a good amount of Johnny's traits struck me as... maybe a bit of a projection? A lot of the blocks of text from Vasquez at the start of issues will have him describe his thoughts and behaviors, and then in the story, Johnny displays a lot of those same thoughts and behaviors, like his hatred of sleep resulting in him regularly staying up the entire night and his tendency to experience loneliness and sadness (though, of course, these blocks of text might also be Jhonen simply putting up a persona as well.) Still, though, I wouldn't be too surprised if a lot of things about Johnny were in fact an exaggerated depiction of the author's own perceived negative traits and turned into an edgy serial killer character (especially since I know that this is indeed the case for a lot of Vasquez's characters, like ZIM in his inability to realize when his ideas won't work and Dib in his undying need to prove himself above all else in IZ.)
JTHM was one of the most unique things I've read in a while- it's one of those stories that sticks in your brain and leaves an uneasy feeling in you when you come away from it, but it definitely has a lot of substance to it beyond the "edgelord serial killer gorefest" surface-level appearance. It doesn't give you any moments of comfort in its overt negativity, but I think it manages to come out as something meaningful beyond just a nihilist "everything is awful and there's nothing you can do about it" message. It's definitely not for everyone, but if you're up for it, I'd really recommend giving it a shot.
#rambles#shoe talks a lot#johnny the homicidal maniac#jthm#i hope none of this sounds too dumb to someone who knows more about the inner-workings of jthm than i do
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New intro Post
New intro post! How exciting! This is my celebration for reaching 25 followers so fast! Thank you all for your overwhelming support in this journey, it really has been a lot.
If you're new here, my boyfriend and I are both introjected from extremely problematic medias revolving around a very bad person that lived in real life. We are both from fictional medias, bit the person of which we introjected is very much real, and We've gotten a LOT of shit for it.
Spaces that claim to be safe spaces for systems-- or God forbid, safe spaces for *problematic* introjects and alters, tend to be rude or spiteful towards individuals who are factives from problematic sources.
I firmly believe this hateful stance comes from a place of not understanding, so I've created this blog to give people who don't understand a chance to talk and speak to us without losing their cool as we also stay anonymous on this blog. They're always nice until they find out who you are /hj . Since it's creation, the blog has since turned into a big place for problematic factives to just feel safe and seen. I'm beyond happy about this, and glad my blog can serve both purposes. More under the cut!
We post a lot of everything!
We answer asks from people who have questions about us or about being problematic factives, we make positivity posts for problematic factives, problematic factive culture is... posts, and lots of other things you could think of. Feel free to vent in our askbox or message us for a chat! We'd love to have a friend.
Some things off the top of my head that I can't do on this blog (but if you end up making a blog for these things and need a mod, totally hmu!)
Stimboards/Moodboards etc. - I would literally love to do these but the problem is I know like nothing about anyone. Of you were to ask me for a Donald Trump moodboard I honestly do not know what I would do my mind would just blank. That being said, in decently good at making them so if there were a person I knew well enough to do a stimboard on, I definitely could
Icon edits - This is somthing I'm capable of doing, but it isn't something where I would want this entire blog to just turn into requests. If you're making a blog specifically for these creative requests things totally hmu
Art - I cannot draw but my hope is that that changes in the future.
-
Meet us!
My last intro post didn't really have any information on us as people let's try and fix that.
I can't tell you my name, but you can call me Anxiety. I'm the main mod and significantly less source connected/more source ashamed. I go by he/Anxiety with Anxiety being able to work in place of either a name or a pronoun. Unless the host is helping out with something, anything that isn't labeled comes from me. I'm the only one out of the two of us with the physical ability to type so when he posts something, it's a little special occasion and deserves a label.
My boyfriend doesn't have a name option other than a source one. On the blog he has only been referred to as my boyfriend, but if you need a name for him, call him NPC. He uses he/him pronouns and will sign off any post that he thinks up all on his own with -NPC and tagged with # npc posts
Tagging
Here is some of the tagging we use on this blog
# problematic factive culture = Problematic factive culture is.. posts
# kindness and positivity = Kind and Positive asks we've received
# good thoughtful questions = Good questions we received as asks
# positivity post = Positivity posts
# problematicfactive blog things = things that ate moreso related to one of the mods or running the blog than they are about problematic factives
# rainy day drafts = drafts that could be super old because I made them and them left them in the drafts so I could post when I don't have anything else to post
# queued because I am asleep 😊 / queued because hopefully I'm sleeping = posts that I queue to be 5-ish hours away from the last post. I often post somthing at 12 am Eastern Time regardless of the last something was posted, so those early morning positivity posts tend to also be queued with the tag
If you come across us and like what we do, consider boosting or realigning this post! I'd love for as many people to find out we exist as possible
# askers experience = Asks sent in where an asker tells me about their life
# npc posts = posts my npc wrote as a mod on this blog (does not apply to posts where "my boyfriend's answer" is me paraphrasing or trying to speak for him)
#intro post#problematic factive#problematic source#problematic introject#factive#introject#plural community#plural#system#sysblr#problematicfactive blog things
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Missing Thoughts
January 2nd, 2024
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on a more personal and actual vent-ish note
personally i've been basically a walking imposter syndrome and struggle a lot with feeling like i may not fit into the communities i am a part of. its been very difficult for me to find my place in fandoms and groups, and ive been kind of crying after past friendships the closesness of which i just cant seem to experience again and i am very scared that my value and worth as a friend may be connected to the quality (or lack thereof) of my art/craft.
i know this does sound silly but only recently i had found someone i really vibed with and we seemed to really get eahcother and be on the same page about art and writing, and they just so happened to kind of "drop" me at the same time they started to read the first couple of chapters of my current wip, which. well. yea. i think my brain took that and just went with it.
so. yea generally i havent been in a very good place mentally. i miss friendships that i used to have, i miss that closeness and these bonds and i just dont know how to make friends anymore. i dont seem to remember how to actually create connections in fandom. i dont know anymore how to fit into spaces if im unable to make "content" for these spaces. i dont know how to fit into spaces point blank.
im scared of losing friendships and messing things up and im so damn scared that someone will be interested in me as a person and then notice that im not what they thought i am. im scared of being myself because thatll be too much. im scared of pretending to be someone else because that will never give me the deep and fulfilling connections i yearn for.
i want to have friends. i want to be like "those popular ones" because theyre liked. because nobody questions if they belong here or not. i want to have someone i can go to without shame and be me. i want someone to share what i love with.
idk i miss. certain old friends of mine. i wanna be alright
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October 2023 Art
for some reason i wrote a novel under the cut, for those of u actually reading, thank u for being so patient x
vvv dates + info under the cut vvv
1 - 03/10/2023 : another of my faves of last year, was trying to get better at drawing trainz, so just Edward and Toby hanging out, displaying the duality of old men x
2 - 04/10/2023 : got a new puter! one of the first things i set to doing after getting set up was to draw a Ru, of course, it was also just me trying to get used to the new MS paint..... it feels very odd
3, 4, 5 - 06/10/2023 : part 1 of redrawing random pics i have of Edward on my phone with my human version of him, this was really fun tbh, and the third here is one of my fave drawings of the year probs.. like sir.. those look heavy... what big uhh.. Glasses.. you have
6, 7, 8 - 07/10/2023 : part 2! i think i just like drawing his face... dare i say this train is cunty or will that get me exiled
9 - 08/10/2023 : something stupid i thought of and couldn't get out of my head for days so had to draw it..... little johnny from oingo boingo's only a lad, doing what he does best, fantasising about radios he wants oh so bad and running people down with a boyish craving for blood.. based on that 1 meme of the guy driving and thinking of a thing then making that insane face
10 - 09/10/2023 : based on that 1 silly vargskelethor song (that could not be less specific), had Shed 17 on the brain and was reminded of the milk song where the skeleton comes out.. thomarse dank 2 much milk and died..
11, 12 - 10/10/2023 : chooshada again :333 first a little doodle on my phone bc i was wondering about her livery, i do think she'd have originally been NER apple green but then painted NWR colours, butttt with a twist... coz i can do whatever i like... the twist is just that she's painted dark blue rather than a sky blue, coz its more her colour x
ALSO MS paint shada, wanted to draw her more uh, idk, detailed ig, idk i love this one, it also served as more train practice
13 - 13/10/2023 : previous one, but with COLOUR!! not much 2 say other than that shes very cute
14 - 18/10/2023 : saw a tweet abt old photos of engine crews posing with their crashed locos and how the NWR crews would do that, made me think of how, if Toni was (choo)shada's driver, she'd do that.. probably x .. very like her to slay in the midst of a terrible accident
15 - 22/10/2023 : predictably, i have some playlists for the ttte engines, one for Diesel which is notable here, so uhh, i have the scrapped song from the lorax "biggering" in there, bc i see it as like a Duck vs Diesel song, ik im surpassing several layers of cringe here but hear me out ok... i drew this at 2am coz i couldn't stop thinking of Duck lecturing Diesel
16, 17, 18 - 25/10/2023 : speaking of playlists, think i was listening to my Robin one here, and felt like drawing him, i have "the land of make believe" in there, which ive always found to be an oddly haunting song, so this is semi based on that, though that wouldn't be apparent if i hadn't just told u x .. this looks like vent art but tis not i was just having fun
also tiny chooshada, i was in the middle of writing something which i have literally Just remembered now and i was writing a scene where Ru is stuck between some characters who shes not looking forward to working with bc they're about to bicker the whole fuckin time and one of them thinks shes a dick, so i drew her being sad that shes forced to work with morons..... and speak of the devil, 3rd drawing is here with 2 of the aforementioned morons :D i think D+D take a liking to her, they're just a little obnoxious (love them for that)
19 - 27/10/2023 : a quick(ish) digital thing of Chooshada again that i did on the side of another project, more engine drawing practice he he, she'll be out of proportion and lacking detail but really it was just to not be too hard on myself about that, it did help i think to understand how to draw her more, plus just look at her lil face... also she has a number here, doesn't mean much other than 8 being her lucky number, other than 11, like those are just her numbers, suppose i could have it be 1188 to ref her bday, idfk x
#iko's shit#2023art#Oct2023#tw blood#tw gore#fine art#digital art#original art#fanart#original character#ocs#ocs:rushada#ocs:robin#oingo boingo#ttte#thomas the tank engine#thomas and friends#ttte humanised#ttte edward#ttte toby#ttte thomas#ttte duck#ttte donald#ttte douglas#edward the blue engine#toby the tram engine#duck the great western engine#donald and douglas#WCBF#YM&V
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