#ohh and i remembered how annoyed people were thinking the dog got killed..
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/delicatebluebirdruins/735327686108561408/whistling
Your comments were disabled for this post, but I just couldn’t let this go. I’m fascinated by this. RE3R was made by an out-of-house team, while RE2R was in-house. The two teams were largely disconnected from each other, only coming together to ask questions about the game engine. Where did your information come from? Was it actually listed in the credits? And if so, I wonder how the two games could be so widely different from each other then. I know RE2R cut some content, but it wasn’t nearly on the same level as RE3R.
1 i rarely remember how to disable post things so i have no idea what happened there sorry
2 RE2R and RE3R were developed by different teams at the same time as you said chatting to keep their timelines as straight as possible (with the RE2R's team decision to leave it up in the air with who got to RPD first and how similar the campaigns ran like Birkin and Annette dying twice further confusing things with Marvins knife in re4r)
3 with the cut content the makers of the game themselves (quite a few working on the orginal Nemesis including the main director Kiyohiko Sakata making his debut for RE3R) wanted to make it streamlined to make it a straight run through bascially keeping the ongoing main story points and being cut throat with other things (those things were probably going to end up as DLC because Carlos did pick up a extra pouch during the siege, Tyrell did get into trouble by someting other than zombies considering how he looked when he got to the hospital and something broke that wall in the RPD, and you cannot tell me were not going to get a Marvin DLC somewhere in there and I almost forgot Nicholai how did he get off the train? how did he get to the courtyard in time to see Jills battle with Nemesis where was he in proximity to see that fight and Nemesis infecting her.)
(yeah RE3R is slightly more action orientated then 2 its almost as if she's a trained veteran part of an elite team or anything)
my only thought when reading that silly comment was oh yeah like this guy who actually fucking worked on RE3R and then went on to RE4R
there is not a lot of information about M Two studios but here is one thing https://www.gamesindustry.biz/tatsuya-minami-reportedly-starts-new-capcom-backed-studio-m-two-inc
"So RE2 started [development] first," said Fabiano in a recent GameSpot interview. "But one thing to clarify is that when we decided it was the right time to work on that game, we knew that we wanted to remake RE3 as well because it would essentially tie up the trilogy. We had already brought back the RE1 Remake with the remaster, and we were working on RE2, so we knew we wanted to have RE3, too. So it's not like it just came out after one year RE2 was done, and then suddenly you had RE3. It was planned."
he commented further: "But just to be clear, they didn't start development at the same time."
Simultaneous development should come as no surprise to those familiar with the industry's creative pipeline process. Fabiano explained that RE3 was in active development for three years, and had some overlap with RE2's development. In fact, what the RE2 team was doing with Mr. X helped inform the RE3 team's work on Nemesis, the towering tyrant-like pursuer pursuing Jill in that game.
"We saw what [the RE2 team] were doing with Mr. X, and he kind of upped the ante in their reimagined version of that game," said Fabiano. "And so when the RE3 director saw that, he was like, 'Okay, well I need to take Nemesis to the next level.' And I think that comes out in what players will see."
[if Nemesis was exactly like the Tyrant in RE2R people would be bitching because Nemesis in the remake is a cat he is toying with us he can come into small rooms like the safe room where you get the bolt cutters]
I think i shared this article before but here it is again for this quote
Fabiano: We had members of the original team working on the game so they were extremely excited to completely rebuild their vision for what Raccoon City should look like, as well as being able to tell a fully fleshed out narrative with today’s technology. We were also pleased to be able to tie the stories of Resident Evil 2 and 3 together more than in the originals. It’s always a challenge to figure out what to include and what to change or adapt but we’re happy that we were able to stay on target and realize our vision. (this particular interview was June 1st 2020 and its Peter Fabiano announcing RE3R and I suppose by default RE2R are finished projects)
#just addressing the parts in your ask i understood#i need clarification on the others i might be missing the obvious#the something was the tyrant and i will die on that hill#asked and answered#also don't get me started on Elliot in re2r that makes me twitch a bit#tvirus broken down to its bare essentials is rabies with necrosis (zombies look dead aren't dead)#and just look at elliot... he gives me a headache#100% petty i do not want people who spend most of their time bitching about RE3R levelling nitpicky petty shit to get anything more from it#long post#RE3 is more than clock tower (it is still there in a different form) is more than the graveyard (which is bleh)#long and rambly as usual#ohh and i remembered how annoyed people were thinking the dog got killed..#i was so certain the dog was gonna be there i put him on my bingo card#hope i answered some things of your question
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𝗗𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲 𝗝𝗔𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 part 1
(Ok sooo here’s my first time trying to write something original and good god am I nervous soo I hope you all enjoy)
The sun has now just rose above beacon academy signaling the start of a new day, while many would view this day to train or study to improve themselves as huntsmen and huntresses. For the (SUPER AWESOME AMAZING AND SERIOUS) team called team RWBY their is only one word that they would call this day
...
...
𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚
*At Team RWBY’s dorm room*
Yang: *laying on her bed looking throw her scroll before tossing it next to her* uggg I’m booored.
Weiss: * gruntingas she stops working on next weeks homework* normally I would scold you on your bluntness I agree it is quite boring today.
Blake: * siting on her bed reading her por - u mm I mean Um her “high class literature” yeah I agree but what do you ya think we should do?
Yang: *in a thinking pose* ummm how about we got the club?
Blake: *shaking her head* seriously is that all you can think of?
Yang: *in a hurt tone* HEY!!!
Weiss: besides we can’t the bullhead terminals are shut down for repairs after YOU AND NORA ALMOST DESTROYED IT BECAUSE OF YOUR IDIOTIC FIGHT *glaring at Yang*
Yang: *waving her hand defensively* hey in my defense Nora started it server her right for saying that pancakes are better that wallfls and besides I won it in the end.
Blake: no you didn’t Nora clobbered you into the ground.
Yang: *angry* hey whose side are you on anyway!?!?
Blake: *rolling her eyes* anyway how about we head to the library?
Weiss: that’s an excellent idea Blake. I think some time in the library would do us all some good.
Yang: ugggg no not the library I though we decided to kill our boredom not to kill me!!!
Weiss: you can stand to improve your book smart you barbaric bimbo *glareing at Yang knowing fill well that she probably a single second in the library during the new semester*
Yang: hey I’ll have you know that physical strength and training are more valuable than reading a few book right sis?
*silence*
Yang: *confused* umm sis???
*yang and the girls all turn to look at Ruby’s bunk to see that she’s laying on her stomach kicking her feet in the air in a childish manner headphones on her head humming along to a song not paying attention to the argument going on*
Yang: Ruby? *no answer* hey Ruby?? *still no answer frustrated Yang walks over to Ruby lifts one side of her headphones and screams in her ear* RUBY!?!?!
Ruby: *leaps I. The air in shock before landing on her butt in shock* owww *rubbing her butt to suve the pain before glaring at Yang* why would you do that?
Yang: sorry sis but I could get your attention what were you doing anyway?
Weiss: yes I would like to know too? *internaly* probably reading on of her childish comic books uggg what a dolt?
Ruby: ohh I was just listening to JAGames *ploping herself off the ground before jumping back on top of her bunk*
Weiss: *confused having never heard of what that dolt they called a leader was talking about* JA who???
Ruby: *gasping in shock before using her semblance to bolt over to Weiss getting right up to her face* YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF JAGAMES!?!?
Blake: *anoyingly picking rose petals out of her hair and book* let’s assume we haven’t who are you talking about?
Ruby: *wipping her head around to Blake before screeching* HE’S ONLY THE GREATEST DUSTTUBE SINGER OF ALL TIME!!!!
Weiss: DustTube??? You mean that stupid website where people post those idiotic videos of themselves???
Blake: I wouldn’t say that DustTube it that bad you can make some serious money if you’re committed to it.
Yang: yeah but a DustTube singer is not a good thing to hear cause most of them are absolutely horrible *cringing as she remembers that Oum awful rap named “It’s Just Today Mate” by Ten Team*
Ruby *scoffs like she’s offended* ugh JAGames is nothing like them he’s a thousand times better than them his singing, his rhythm, and his music makes it look like all those other wanna bees are just babies playing with a baby piano.
Blake: huh seems like you know this guy a lot?
Ruby: of course I do I’m his number one fan after all I’ve listened to all of his music and bought all of his merch and all his albums JAGames’ music have gotten me through some tough times so I will always love him even though he has never shown his face.
Yang: huh soo that’s where all that stuff came from I’ve always wondered about that also *grinning* aren’t you already dating a certain noodle boy right now for shame Ruby how could you break jaunes heart by having an affair?
Weiss: I still don’t know what you see in that dolt *rolling her eyes back not truly understanding why ruby would want to date that idiot but nether the less grateful that he has stop relentlessly trying to ask her out*
Ruby: *beet red embarrassed* Yannng stop that it’s not like that all *blushing* even though I really like him and his music I will always love my sweet knight more.
Ruby: anyway I’ve got an idea since I’ve talked about JAGames this long *an ear to ear smile creeps up on her lips before shouting* WOULD YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO SOME OF HIS MUSIC WITH ME!?!?
Weiss: *appoled* are you crazy!?!? No why would we ever want to listen to your stupid music!?!?
Yang: I’m in sounds like fun
Weiss: *shocked* WHAT WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?
Yang: it sounds fun anything to beat this boredom and besides I’ve been trying to find some new music for a while now.
Weiss: fine then be that way but know that Blake and I won’t be bothered to listen to your childish music.
Blake: actually I’ll join in too.
Weiss: *absolutly shocked* WHYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!
Blake: same as Yang seems like fun also I’ve just finished reading my book so I e got nothing else better to do.
Yang: see even kitty cat wants to watch with us *blake glares at Yang for saying that* so whatcha say I’ve queen care to join us?
Ruby: *giving Weiss the worlds most dangerous weapon known to man the dreaded puppy dog eyes* plweeessszzzzzzzzzz?????
Weiss: *unable to resist the deadly powers of the puppy dog eyes* I— umm I ohhh alright I’ll listen to your stupid music what kind of music does he make anyway?
Ruby: *jumping up and down excited* yay thank you bestie ohh he mostly makes rock -metal songs some time a little bit of pop and always follows a certain theme.
Weiss: *annoyed by knowing that she’s going to be listening to that barbaric type of music* and that I is???
Ruby: *embarrassed* umm video games?
Weiss: WHAT THOSE STUPID IDIOTIC CHILDISH GAMES THAT ARE A WASTE OF TIME WHY DID I EVER AGREE TO THIS *exclaimed loudly but secretly at the same happy because deep down she is a HUGE gamer a secret that she will take to the grave* AND YOU *pointing to Blake* ARE OK WITH IT!?!?!
Blake: why not? I don’t have a problem with video games sometimes they can tell a story better that a book.
Yang: welp too late to turn back know soo sis what song are we listening to today?
Ruby: *excitedly grabs her scroll unplugs her headphones and sets her scroll near her freinds* how about his newest one it’s a remake of one of my favorites I’m sure y’all will love it!!!
https://youtu.be/wNI0VCRmQ0c
youtube
(Here’s the song if you want to sing along)
🎶following total atomic anihilation🎶
🎶the rebuilding our this great nation our ours my fall to you🎶
🎶that’s why we at vault-tech have prepared these educational materials🎶
🎶for you to better understand the seven defining attributes that make you🎶
🎶special🎶
🎶the future fotells a tale of when the world goes🎶
🎶BOOM🎶
🎶BOOM🎶 (when the world goes BOOM BOOM)🎶
🎶nobody prepared🎶
🎶don’t think anybody cared about the🎶
🎶SOLE TRUTH (nobody cared about the SOLE TRUTH)🎶
🎶oh the bombs🎶
🎶they rose🎶
🎶 now everybody knows the🎶
🎶DOOMS DAY DEVICE(DOOMS DAY DEVICE)🎶
🎶claustrophobia🎶
🎶autotrophic🎶
🎶catostrophic hell🎶
🎶will be soo🎶
🎶and be up in the sky🎶
🎶even when the world feels🎶
🎶lonely and cold inside🎶
🎶even when the heart feels🎶
🎶BLISTERED FORM THE SCENES🎶
🎶for they will fall🎶
🎶For they will rise🎶
🎶for they would tear apart the view 🎶
🎶from your very eyes🎶
🎶take your hindsight and Change the world🎶
🎶FOR A NEW BEGINNING🎶
🎶for its now your chance🎶
🎶to use your hands🎶
🎶descend through the cracked in the dirt🎶
🎶WHERE YOU STAND🎶
🎶take on the vast open🎶
🎶MASQUERADE🎶
🎶THIS IS ATOMIC RENEGADE🎶
🎶following total atomic anihilation🎶
🎶the rebuilding our this great nation our ours my fall to you🎶
🎶that’s why we at vault-tech have prepared these educational materials🎶
🎶for you to better understand the seven defining attributes that make you🎶
🎶resources are scarce prepare yourself for homicidal🎶
🎶RAMPAGE (HOMICIDAL RAMPAGE)🎶
🎶 claim you’re rightful place🎶
🎶mark the writing on your face turn a🎶
🎶NEW PAGE (WRITING ON YPUR FACE TURN A NEW AGE)🎶
🎶well the bomb🎶
🎶they took🎶
🎶your land and now you’re🎶
🎶LEFT ALL ALONE (LEFT ALL ALONE)🎶
🎶Thers masses of🎶
🎶rebellious🎶
🎶proposterous, demonical🎶
🎶CARNAGE READY FOR YOUR BONES🎶
🎶use your senses and you’ll🎶
🎶PROVE YOU’RE WHOLE AGAIN🎶
🎶you’re the hero of this🎶
🎶LAND DEMISED WITH PAIN🎶
🎶for they will fall🎶
🎶For they will rise🎶
🎶for they would tear apart the view 🎶
🎶from your very eyes🎶
🎶take your hindsight and Change the world🎶
🎶FOR A NEW BEGINNING🎶
🎶for its now your chance🎶
🎶to use your hands🎶
🎶descend through the cracked in the dirt🎶
🎶WHERE YOU STAND🎶
🎶take on the vast open🎶
🎶MASQUERADE🎶
🎶THIS IS ATOMIC RENEGADE🎶
🎶now let’s begin with some simple instructions on what makes you a
SPECIAL 🎶
🎶strength🎶
🎶build your ability’s to carry more🎶
🎶persecution🎶
🎶will keep your aim right where you want it to be🎶
🎶endurance🎶
🎶bronze will tackle foes but how long for?🎶
🎶charisma🎶
🎶socialize enemies are closer than you think🎶
🎶intelligence🎶
🎶outsmart your foes with gadgets capable of removing harm🎶
🎶agilety 🎶
🎶build your reflexes to defend from approaching scum🎶
🎶luck🎶
🎶Tatic and strength is one thing🎶
🎶but some times all it takes is good luck🎶
🎶now take your world and throw it upside down🎶
🎶one man pushes through🎶
🎶ONE🎶
🎶MUTANT🎶
🎶AT🎶
🎶A🎶
🎶TIME🎶
*insert guttiar solo*
🎶for you will rise🎶
🎶through hell and back🎶
🎶you fortell of time when you were under attack🎶
🎶put your hindsight and change the world🎶
🎶for they will fall🎶
🎶For they will rise🎶
🎶for they would tear apart the view 🎶
🎶from your very eyes🎶
🎶take your hindsight and Change the world🎶
🎶FOR A NEW BEGINNING🎶
🎶for its now your chance🎶
🎶descend through the cracked in the dirt🎶
🎶WHERE YOU STAND🎶
🎶take on the vast open🎶
🎶MASQUERADE🎶
🎶THIS IS ATOMIC RENEGADE🎶
🎶TAKE THE WORLD AND BEGIN🎶
🎶THE CHARGE OF THE DAMNED🎶
🎶BE SURE TO DEFENS🎶
🎶YOUR BRETHREN FRIEND🎶
🎶YOUR ARMY DECENDS🎶
🎶YOU SAVE ANEW RACE 🎶
🎶UNTILL THE END🎶
Ruby: *nervous* sooo what do you girls think???
Yang:That. Was. Awesome Sis that has got to be one of the best songs I’ve ever heard it was soo action packed.
Blake: I have to agree that was a very good song not my cup of tea but still very good nonetheless.
Ruby: YAY that two for three sooo bestie did you like it???
Weiss: *quiet as a mouse and as stiff as a board before throwing her hands up in the air and screaming*HATED IT THAT WAS THE WORST SONG IVE EVER HEARD
RUBY: *almost as pale as a ghost and on the verge of tear* W-w WHAT!?!?!?
(That’s all I can type was it good or shit (sorry if it was) this is the longest thing I’ve ever typed here I hope you all enjoy) (don’t worry jaune comes in next part with a secret)
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Psycho - Chapter 19+20
Chapter 19
It was getting late and Seungmin left Seohyun's apartment after the surprise he had planned for her. The sun was setting and another day has passed. Seungmin hoped to see Jun-seo, but he was also having fun with Seohyun. It was when someone unexpectedly appeared... And it caught Seungmin's attention.
"Jun-seo hyung!" Seungmin exclaimed eagerly. He was surprised and bewildered at his hyung being there. Seohyun had mentioned so many times about seeing Jun-seo to him, but he couldn't believe what he had heard then. Now, he knew that it wasn't just Seohyun's imagination.
Jun-seo glared disgustingly at Seungmin. His reaction wasn't something Seungmin had expected. Instead, it was the polar opposite of what Seungmin thought Jun-seo might've felt and react when he saw him.
"Hyung, what's wrong?" Seungmin asked confused. And, just as he was about to hug to comfort Jun-seo, but he grabbed Seungmin by the collars almost choking Seungmin.
"Bastard!" Jun-seo scowled as he punched Seungmin by the jaw.
"Hyung, what's wrong?" Seungmin asked, muddled by Jun-seo's behavior. He had never behaved this way unless he was mad at something or someone.
"You know what's wrong. It's when you don't know your limits," Jun-seo said in a low, husky tone, as he punched Seungmin again near the nose.
Seungmin couldn't take this anymore. Jun-seo had never behaved this way with him, but he knew he couldn't fight back. It wasn't what Seohyun would've wanted.
"Seohyun?" Seungmin asked with a mocking tone in his voice.
"Don't even say her name with that mouth of yours!" Jun-seo exclaimed as he kicked Seungmin, who was lifelessly lying down on the floor, blood flowing everywhere.
"Why?" Seungmin asked pretending to be innocent.
"You know exactly why, Jeon Seungmin. You knew how much I loved and cared about her. And without any fear or hesitation, you tried to take her away from me," Jun-seo said with tears in his eyes and with a shaky voice as he continued, "Why are you doing this to me, Seungmin? Why?" His voice started to crack.
"Then, why don't you try to take better care of her? Do you know how much pain she had to go through all because of you?" Seungmin said in a high voice. Rage was burning inside him, while sadness and despair were taking over his mind.
Little did they know, someone was watching them since the beginning...
"Oppa? Seungmin?" a familiar voice said in shock.
"Seohyun?!" they both said in unison.
"Seohyun, how long have you been here?" Seungmin asked surprised.
"Long enough to know everything," Seohyun said as she glared at Jun-seo.
"Seohyun-ah, I can explain," Jun-seo tried to explain with tears welling in his eyes.
"You don't need to. I got everything I need to know and, I never knew you would be this cruel," Seohyun said, disappointed and hurt. Seohyun neither any tears left nor any feelings for Jun-seo. She didn't even care that he was there.
Jun-seo glared at Seungmin with hatred in his eyes as Seungmin let out a playful smirk making Jun-seo wanting to kill him.
"Seungmin, let's go to my apartment. You can stay there tonight for the time being," Seohyun reassured him.
"Seohyun, why are you inviting a guy over at your place?" Jun-seo asked, shocked.
"To take care of him, of course. Why? Are you jealous?" Seohyun replied.
"Yes, you're mine," as those words that left Jun-seo's mouth. They made Seohyun stopped what she was doing. She couldn't even remember the last time she ever thought about Jun-seo. Even if she missed him, Seungmin was always there for her. He was always comforting her and making everything that had a bad effect on her to disappear. She forgot about her life, her worries, and Jun-seo when she was with Seungmin.
"Can't deal with it, hyung," Seungmin whined as Seohyun kneeled beside him to help him get up. Jun-seo felt defeated, miserable. All of those feelings came rushing to his head, making him feel dizzy. He put his cap and mask back on and parted ways with Seohyun...
"Now, let's get you cleaned and fixed," Seohyun said as she grabs a cotton pad and Denatured alcohol from the wooden table.
-Time Skip: After Seungmin got cleaned up-
"Welp, I guess you're staying at my place tonight since it's late for you to get home," Seohyun said.
"Fine," Seungmin muttered.
Seungmin picked up a snow globe that contained a small cabin with a dog and a snowman on the sides and it was on Seohyun's marble table beside her bed.
"Wow, this is pretty," he said.
"Yeah... Jun-seo gave me that," Seohyun's voice suddenly turned cold and heartless.
"What's wrong?" Seungmin comforted her.
"Nothing I'm fine," Seohyun said as she thinks about the time Jun-seo gave her the snowglobe.
-Flashback-
"Eeeek! I'm so excited!" Seohyun squealed in excitement.
"You can open your eyes now," Jun-seo said.
"Wow, it's so pretty!" Seohyun said in amazement as she shakes the reflective snow globe with her name printed on a heart shape gold plate at the bottom.
"I'm glad you like it!" Jun-seo said.
Then, they both hugged each other as a thank you.
-Flashback ended-
Seohyun tried to get the memories out of her head but no matter how much she tries, she still gets flashbacks of the time she was with Jun-seo and it made her sad but also frustrated.
"We should sleep. It's already midnight," Seungmin said.
"Yeah," Seohyun said as she turned off the lights.
"Good night," they both said in unison.
As she drifts away to sleep, Seohyun felt that something extraordinary is going to happen. And that feeling was getting stronger... it was getting stronger every day she was with Seungmin...
Chapter 20
The Saturday sun rose and birds were chirping on trees covered with thick snow. Seohyun yawned as she woke up to find out that Seungmin was already up.
"Seungmin? Why didn't you wake me up?" Seohyun said annoyed.
"Well, I did. But you were snoring loud and you. Looked dead so I didn't wake you up," Seungmin mockingly answered.
"What did you say?" Seohyun asked as she glared at Seungmin.
"N-nothing," Seungmin said as he smiled back.
So, what happened yesterday?" Seohyun asked that morning. Her emotions were like waves in the deep blue ocean and, nothing with Jun-seo wouldn't be the same again.
"He wanted you back," Seungmin answered straightforward, "but I couldn't let you go," he muttered those last words.
"Ohh," Seohyun said as she took a glance at the mirror in front of Seungmin's face, "It must hurt a lot," Seohyun said.
"I'm okay," he said.
Seungmin was still wounded and Seohyun suggested that Seungmin should stay at her apartment for at least one more day.
"I insist you come back to my place this night," Seohyun suggested.
"Do I still have to come back to your apartment?" Seungmin asked.
"Depends really," Seohyun replied, "do whatever you want, right now I need banana milk," Seohyun muttered.
Then, Seungmin left for work as Seohyun waved goodbye.
"Now, what is she going to do?" Seohyun thought.
Seohyun decided that she would go out and explore the surroundings that were covered with snow. As she was walking down the street, a train of thoughts came into her mind. Bad things always happen because of her. Every person she gets in contact with gets hurt and everything she touches gets destroyed. And she was worried she might lose someone because of her. It was almost like her life was cursed. Maybe she is too self-centred and there are people with worse lives than her. Or perhaps she deserved this. She was worried that she might lose Seungmin because of her... All of a sudden, her mind came back to reality when she saw someone...
Seohyun noticed that a person with a black mask and a black cap following her. She took a glance to find out that the person was very similar to Jun-seo. As soon as she, remembered what happened last night, she ran quickly back to her apartment and she slammed shut the door, panting.
-Time Skip: December 26 night-
Seohyun waited patiently for Seungmin, staring at the waxing gibbous moon in the starry black night sky. She was getting worried. She couldn't wait any longer and she decided to call Seungmin. Seungmin didn't pick up his phone making Seohyun even more worried. She relieved herself, assuming Seungmin was sleeping already. Then, Seohyun went to bed.
That night, Seungmin didn't come over to Seohyun's apartment, thinking that it would be the best for both of them. And she couldn't sleep when she was worried about Seungmin and his well-being, and when thoughts were overwhelming her, it was much harder. Who knew what had happened years before she was there? Her life was like a melodrama that was worth watching. Self-centred, rude, psychopathic, greedy, and dramatic. Those were the words that her father used to describe her or now her adopted father. She never knew what she did wrong. Everybody had called her many things–things that couldn't change her past but can change her future. She kept taking in those words like it was her daily dose of medicine, but it never made her change. She grew numb. Every single day became meaningless and harmless to her. It was almost like she had no feelings anymore. Those words just felt useless and worthless to her. She didn't feel the need to change herself just to fit their needs. She was always her and will always be her. There was always a mask that she had to put on whenever she was outside, and anywhere without those people, made her free, happy. Her happiness was something her parents had never accepted or even knew. Her source of happiness was never to be found, and even if she did, it wouldn't matter anymore. Nobody will ever know how much she desired happiness just for once, and her wish in life was to be free. Without people controlling her and being herself. If her biological parents didn't want her, nobody would. She was better off alone without anybody there to take care of her or to be with her throughout all the pain she had gone through. When she found Jun-seo in her life, she didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to let her only source of happiness go no matter what happened in her life. It was all because she loved him to the moon and back. He was her last hope of moving on, her destiny. Until all of a sudden, things changed... until everything breaks apart in pieces so small that she couldn't recover what once happened...
As life goes on, she started to feel like Jun-seo wasn't her true destiny... it all felt like a melodrama that had all been scripted...
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Shareable questions. All of them.
👽 Do you believe in aliens?Not in the aliens everybody else seems to believe in with UFO’s and all that crap.
👽👽 If so, what do you think they look like?They look like normal people, because... you know what. Ask Cas. He is practically an alien.
🤡 Do you have any phobias?Yeah. Snakes? Ugh. Spiders? Ugh!! Planes? UGH. (But it’s so funny the emoji for this one is clown. Perfect for Sammy.)
💀 What is your favourite thing to do?I... I have no idea. Maybe watching western movies with Cas? I never thought about this before, because normally there is just stuff that I have to do. Kissing Cas is for sure in my top 3 as well.
☕ Name the tastiest hot beverage.Ugh, you can’t tell anyone but I enjoy hot vanilla milk. I mean coffee. It’s totally just plain coffee.
🥛 Name the tastiest cold beverage.Beer.
😇 What do you believe is your most angelic quality?ANGELIC QUALITY. I don’t have one. Seriously, I don’t think I can ever be somthing as angelic.
👹 What do you believe is your most devilish quality?That I don’t wait to pull my trigger. I killed people before. Hell, I torture monsters all the time. I’m not any better than them.
🧜♀️ If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be and why?Mythical, well most of them are actually real, but whatever. ( Normally I’d say angel? But you know, not really worthy - so lets go with a monster.)I think being a mermaid would be cool? All day in the water, the other hot merpeople. Yeah I think that would be nice.
😻 Describe the sweetest moment you have had with a pet.The sweetest. When I was like 16 we stopped in a small town for a hunt. It took Dad almost 6 weeks to find the vampire, so Sammy and I had to go to school there. It was horrible. While Sammy of course had lots of friends, I didn’t. I skipped a lot of classes and waited outside for Sammy and there was the cute little dog living with an old man right next to the school. I petted him every time I waited and he ... was so happy to see me everyday.Sometimes I would even share my breakfast with him or walk with him, when his owner was too tired. God this was ages ago, but I was heartbroken, when we left that town.So never getting a pet again. Hurts just like hell, when they leave.
🌎 What is your most far-fetched ‘bucket list’ item?I don’t think there is one? Nothing is really far-fetched in my life. But I’d like to have a swimming pool.
🤔 Describe the most influential person in your life.Well he is not really from this world, but he always fights for the things he loved. He was born as a solider, but learned what it means to have a free will and there is no one else, who loves this unconditional.
🤯 Do you have a mental illness?Pretty sure, yeah. PTSD definitely. Maybe depression, too. I have panic attacks at night (when nobody sees them). Anxiety and stuff. I got it all.
🦄 If you could shape-shift into an animal at any time, what would it be and why?Huh, great question. Maybe a dog, I kinda was one before and it was kinda fun you know. Have an owner and all, must be nice.
🍣 Are you a sushi connoisseur?No ew. Why would I eat sushi when I can have burgers?
🤓 Do you consider yourself a nerd?Mhh. While I do call Sam and Cas a nerd all the time, I can admit that MAYBE I’m one too. Probably more of geek, but whatever. Maybe it already makes me a nerd saying that.
📆 Have you set goals for your life? Or are you just living life in the moment?I do have set goals, but I feel like I have to just live my life, since I could easily die any day. So maybe that are just wishes and not really goals. I take the days as it comes.
📆📆 If you have made goals, name a few.Wishes. They are wishes. I would love to be married (so close!!) and would like to have a big family one day. Get some kids, get some nieces and nephews. Maybe get all my friends back. Imagine Bobby babysitting my kids or Charlie teaching them how to cheat in games.
📆📆📆 If you’re living life in the moment, explain away.Ugh I explained it above. Hunter = big chance of dying. Again.
🤩 Name a famous celebrity you dream of meeting.I wish I could meet Led Zeppelin.
🌙 Are you a moon or sun person?Sun probably, but I do love them moon as well.
🚀 If you could travel back in time to any era, where would it be?I wish I would’ve gotten this question years back, because then I would’ve said, when the Cowboys were still a big thing. But honestly? That was just a big disappointment. I didn’t like the whiskey, I looked stupid and people hated me there. So no traveling back, thank you.
🚀🚀 What kind of life would you want in this era?Well I just wished it would’ve been as awesome as I always thought. Me being the cool sherriff and getting hot chicks. (Or Cas, but lets be honest. They’d kill us)
🦕 Do you wish dinosaurs existed in our modern world?Holy shit YES.
🦕🦕 If so, would you want a dino pet? Name the kind.I would love a dino pet!! Uhm... give me a triceratops.
🎃 Name your favourite holiday.I hate them all, but christmas was nice, when Mom was still alive.
😊 What do you believe is your most redeeming quality?That I never give up?
😴 Do you get enough sleep?No. Normally I get my four - five hours and I always say that’s fine, but it’s not. Seriously I wish I could sleep more. But you know, nightmares, hunting and all that crap. Maybe I should start with naps again.
🏈 Are you a sport enthusiast?Yes! While I hate to move my own ass, I love sports. Wrestling is amazing. (and yes that counts).
🦂 Describe your best friend.Oh easy. Big blue eyes, dark wild hair. Tilts his head way too often and can’t wink properly. Smiles so rare but so beautiful. Wants to help everyone and loves the nature. Has the biggest heart and gets hurt too often.
🥑 Fruits or veggies?Fruits.
🤞 If you could snap your fingers like Thanos from The Avengers, what would you make happen?Tha. Bring Iron Man back? No uhm, I’d kill every monster on earth. Make it peaceful.
😎 Do you consider yourself a cool kid or a total square?I wish I was a cool kid.
🍭 Do you have a sweet tooth?Yeah! Nothing better than some chocolate or pie, but it’s not as bad as Gabriel’s.
🏥 Do hospitals freak you out?Not really. I mean I don’t like them, but I’m so often in one, it kinda gets boring.
🍕 What’s the best pizza topping?Meatlover.
🧘♀️ When was the last time you did something just for you?Can’t remember.
🎣 Have you ever been fishing?Yeah a lot. Dad took me already when I was a kid.
👶 Do you want to have children someday?Yes. As soon as we are ready.
🥔 Name your favourite form of the potato.There is no favorite. I love them all.
🌵 Do you have a green thumb?Not at all. Glad Cas has.
🐩 If you have one, name your dream dog(s).Small ones... that don’t remember me of hellhounds?
🍂 Winter, spring, summer or fall?Summer and spring. I hate hunting in the winter or fall, but then again it gives me an excuse to hide into even more flannels.
🐳 Does the ocean freak you out or entice you?Entice me.
🐚 Ever been scuba-diving or deep-sea fishing?Nope! but Scuba-diving sounds amazing.
📸 Do you take a lot of photos?Ehhh I never really did, because why would I? Now I take pictures of Cas or Sam all the time. They hate it.
🎵 Name your three favourite artists/bands.Led Zeppelin, Motorhead, Metallica.
🎵🎵 What about your three favourite genres?Rock, Rock and Rock.
🎸 Can you play an instrument(s)?Never had the time, but I would love to play the guitar.
🔬 What was the best class in high school?P.E. I wanted to be a cheerleader, but couldn’t for obvious reasons.
🔬🔬 What about the worst class?Every other class. I was bad at everything.
🕹 Name the video game you have wasted the most time playing.Never played one.
🕹🕹 Name your favourite video game.I don’t think I even know one.
🔪 Do you have an interest in serial killers or do they just freak you out?Ohh Sammy boy has some real interest about serial killers! Holy shit. I don’t care mostly.
🦗 Do bugs give you the heebie-jeebies?Yes. God there was one time Sammy and I were caged in with a milliion of bugs and NOPE. Never again.
🎱 Confess the last wish you made on a magic 8 ball.Please let Cas love me back.
😑 Describe the most annoying thing ever.I’m so easily annoyed. You ever hunted some asshole ghost completely wet because he threw you into a pool? Fucking annoying to walk back to Baby for three miles in wet clothes. But also small things, when nobody listens to you. When there is a mess in my kitchen. When people assume stuff without knowing me.
☺ Describe the greatest thing ever.Waking up late and cuddling more into the warm sheets, while Cas tightens his arms around me. I love to pretend to be still asleep, just to see what he does.
🏠 Growing up, how was your home life?It was hell. I was practically an adult at the age of six. I mean I love Sammy more than myself (which is not hard btw) and I would take care of him anytime, but I never had... friends or fun and all that jazz.
😜 Are you silly or serious?Silly. But I can be serious if needed.
🥩 Steaks: Well-done, medium-rare, or still mooing?Medium-rare. But lets be honest, I eat every kind.
🍄 In your opinion, are mushrooms tasty little morsels or just a dirty fungus?Ew. I wouldn’t know, I don’t eat that stuff.
🥑 Best way to eat an avocado?To not eat it. :)
⛪ Are you spiritual?Haha, I have no idea how to answer that one.
⛪🕌 If so, describe your beliefs.Well?!?! I obviously believe in everything.
🍔 Burgers or dogs?Does that question imply, people eating dogs is a normal thing? Burgers.
😤 Describe something that gets under your skin.Unfairness.
🧟♀️ Do you think the world will end in zombies?Apparently it does, because that is just what happened.
🐉 Is there a dragon you chase?Yes.
🥞 In your personal opinion, should food be free to everyone?YES. Seriously.
🐍 What animal are you scared of, if any?Spiders and snakes. @anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam
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oc tag!
i was tagged by @shysimblr @cillaben @crabb-sims and maybe some others i can’t remember oops. but i’m finally gonna do it
1. What is your name? zelda bloom
2. Do you know why you were named that? someone thought it would be a good idea to name me after a video game??
3. Single or taken? oh.. *blushes* that’s kinda complicated? but i think i’m taken right now *smiles*
4. Stop being a Mary Sue! what’s.. a mary sue?? i’m confused?
5. What’s your eye color? light blue, like my dads!
6. How about hair color? sandy blonde, again like my dads.. i think i got a lot of my dad’s genes honestly, hehe
*7. Have you any family members? yeah of course! there’s my mom and dad, my younger sister audrey. my aunt june and my cousin faith, and of course my 3 babies, kane, isaac and eden *smiles* they’re my world
8. Oh, how about pets? yeah! 2 dogs.. they’re not living with me right now though, but hopefully soon *blushes*
9. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like? i don’t like people who hurt others. i won’t say who i’m talking about but he would know if he read this!
10. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? i love to read! i could read forever, but it’s kinda hard when you have 3 kids.. oh! but i love being a mother. does that count as a hobby? i guess not really..
11. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before? umm, i don’t think so? definitely not intentionally
12. Ever… killed anyone before? oh my gosh, heck no!
13. What kind of animal are you? i asked caleb and he said i’d probably be a fox because i’m such a vixen.. what a dork *laughs*
14. Name your worst weaknesses. i think i’m too nice? and easily influenced. i get that from my mom i’m pretty sure. she’s exactly the same!
15. Do you look up to anyone at all? my parents for sure. they are my heroes
16. Are you straight, gay or bisexual? i’m straight!
17. Do you go to school? no not anymore
18. Ever want to marry and have kids one day? well i already have kids so there’s that i guess.. but do i want to marry? *blushes* yeah, i would really like that
19. Do you have fangirls/fanboys? umm, not that i know of?
20. What are you most afraid of? anything happening to my family, or caleb..
21. What do you usually wear? it depends really! some days i just go for a t-shirt and jeans and other days i feel like dressing more.. you know, girly!
22. What’s one food that tempts you? oh my gosh, cookies for sure! i remember when i still lived with my parents and i would eat ALL the cookies *laughs* i got told off a few times for it
23. Am I annoying you? no! i’m enjoying answering these. i just realised that makes it sound like i love to talk about myself! i don’t.. i just never really get to talk about myself at all
24. Well, it’s not over! oh, there’s more? cool!
25. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)? middle class!
26. How many friends do you have? there’s my best friend scarlett but i barely see her anymore.. she went to san myshuno to pursue her writing career.. i do miss her. ohh, but then there’s jasper! he’s such a good friend i adore him. i don’t really have that many friends..
27. What are your thoughts on pie? i’m not that keen on pie..
28. Favorite drink? coffee, all day everyday
29. What’s your favorite place? i think it will always be the house i grew up in
30. Are you interested in anyone? *blushes* obviously..
31. That was a stupid question. no it wasn’t! ..okay maybe a tiny bit?
32. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? in the ocean! i love the ocean
33. What’s your type? i’ve only ever been in love with one guy and he’s 100% my type so can i say he’s my type?
34. Any fetishes? fetishes? oh my gosh *blushes* no!!
35. Camping or indoors? i’ve never been camping but it sounds fun!
i don’t know who’s been tagged but i’ll just tag @englishrosesims @cowplant-pizza @octo-sims @a-kind-red and @oaksim
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11(33) Questions meme
So I got tagged by @writsgrimmyblog quite a while ago, and didn’t get around to answering it since I was travelling, so got further tagged by @dictacontrion and @huldrejenta. So this is very long. Hence the cut thing.
RULES:
- Always post the rules
- Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you
- Write 11 questions of your own
- Tag 11 people (or however many you want)
As for my questions, I’m tagging @eidheann, @dracogotgame, @capipuff, @awesomedig, @comingupwithusernamesishard, @noeeon, @i-didnt-wanna-do-it, @firethesound and then if you guys who tagged me wants to do my questions too, I wouldn’t mind readig your answers :D
@writsgrimmyblog asked:
1. What’s your favourite quote from a book or poem? I'm not the best at picking out quotes and I've never been big on poetry, but Kate Tempest has some texts that really digs into my soul. Seeing her at the third biggest stage at Glastonbury, a spoken word artist drawing such a crowd - was pretty powerful. So I chose this quote from her 'Tunnel Vision':
"The myth of the individual has left us disconnected, lost, and pitiful" (which sounds a bit bleak, but the whole poem/album is really powerful, and it ends on a sort of hopeful note.)
2. What song makes you want to dance like nobody’s watching? I only ever dance like nobody's watching :D latest to Pumarosa at their set at Glastonbury, and then to some pretty heavy techno waiting for Josefin Örn's set at the Glade. While I don't listen to it much on my own, nothing really makes me let loose and not give a shit like hard electronic music does wrt dancing.
3. What’s your favourite ship to read? Currently Larry. Fic wise it's such a varied pairing to read - covering so many themes and settings - so I never manage to get tired of it. I also really love Tomlinshaw, but Drarry is always in my heart - my first and deepest fandom love.
4. If you could own one item of clothing belonging to any celebrity what would you pick and why? Umm, is it weird to be in a celeb related fandom and say that I don't really pay that much attention to celebrities? I guess in the sense of overall style I usually like Kristen Stewart's choices and I'd probably be more than happy to wear her wardrobe at all times. But for a single item I'd probably go for one of Harry Styles's lush and luxurious and ridiculously expensive floral blouses and pair it with a pair of high waisted skinny jeans and my brogues.
5. Gif with a hard or soft ‘g’? Well, as I usually pronounce file formats in Norwegian, the hard g is the only one that makes sense. I suppose we do have a version of soft g too, but that would make it yif, and that just sounds weird. So hard g it is!
6. What’s your favourite fanfic ‘getting together’ trope? Hmm, does coming to terms with one's sexuality count as a getting together trope? That always hits me really hard and feels very emotional. Otherwise I guess friends to lovers and enemies to lovers, with loads of pining and ust.
7. What’s your guiltiest pleasure? I'm not sure I actually have a really guilty pleasure? I used to watch a lot of Americas next top model, just because I loved seeing the process with the photo shoots, so maybe that's a little guilty with regards to how the modelling and fashion industry perpetuates some very unhealthy things.
8. Most relatable 1D (or solo 1D) lyric?
“If tomorrow you won’t be mine, won’t you give it to me one last time” JK LMAO but no one can convince me that song isn’t fucking hilarious.
For real though, I’m more of a melody than lyrics kind of gal, so I’m not entirely sure? Maybe this one, for good luck, since I’m making some changes in my life (also bonus since they are Louis’ lines :D):
“I think I'm gonna win this time,
Riding on the wind and I won't give up,
I think I'm gonna win this time,
I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck,
I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck”
9. If you could give one piece of advice to a celebrity, what would it be? I don't necessarily feel like I have any good basis for giving advice to celebs, but I guess just remembering to keep a healthy perspective towards the world, and to use their platform for good. Their participation in politics and activism could do more good than I think a lot of them realise. (But stay informed and think before you speak.)
10. Tell me your favourite joke.
You know, I literally can’t think of a single joke. I guess I could search for some, but that would sort of belie the point.
11. If you were famous for a day, what question would you most dread being asked during an interview? I think anything related to diet/workout routine/keeping my body in shape would make me feel really uncomfortable and objectified.
@dictacontrion's questions:
1. If you could have one billion dollars or the not (or only incidentally) profitable superpower of your choosing, which would you choose and why? As my big dream/my favourite thing to do is travelling and seeing the world, my chosen superpower would probably be teleportation. BUT teleportation would still leave me with the issue of spending money and getting days off work (unless I used the teleportation for criminal purposes I guess). So I think I'd go for the billion dollars, which not only would enable me to travel as much and however I'd like, but is such a ridiculous amount of money that maybe I could use it to do some good in the world.
2. What article of clothing makes you feel most awesome? The way I dress is incredibly dependent on my mood, but I guess maybe my denim shorts? Mostly because of the setting in which I would wear them. I love the feeling of warm air and sun on bare skin more than practically anything, so the few occasions where I'm able to wear my denim shorts I feel happy and awesome from the get-go :)
3. How did you get into your most recent fandom? That must be the 1d fandom, so long story short: a 1d fanfic based m/m novel tickled my curiousity, Harry's 'not that important' even more so. Got recommended the fantastic gryles fic “If this is love” by sunsetmog which I read and adored, and diving deeper into sunsemog’s fics I then read “I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow” which till this day still stands as one of my fave ever fics. Then followed some arbitrary tumblr searching and blog following, and in time the rabbit hole that is Larry swallowed me hole and has failed to spit me back out.
4. What’s your least favorite/most hated book, and why? I’m terribly impatient, so I don’t really finish stuff I don’t like? So I don’t really have that passionate bad feelings about any one book I’ve read. Read some 1800s Norwegian realism/naturalism literature in high school which at the time felt like a drag, but in hindsight I’m very happy I read. Moby Dick annoyed the hell out of me, and I gave up halfway through, but I still don’t hate it, I don’t think. So I don’t really know *shrugs*
5. Describe a fanwork you’d love to read/see/watch, but don’t want to create yourself, please? Ummm, a long and plotty Ginny/Luna fic maybe. I’d love to read more femslash, but the fics I’ve seen out there are usually just little ficlet. And nothing against a good ficlet, but I’m longing to dive deep into a long and immersive wlw story. (Incidentally, if anyone have any such recs, be it fanfic or original fiction, I’d be happy to hear about it!)
6. What would be the lineup of your ideal music festival? Ahhhh this is simultaneously the hardest and the best possible question for me!! Okayyy: Grimes, Years & Years, One Direction (ofc), Pumarosa, Arctic Monkeys, Lianne La Havas, Shura, The Shins, Loyle Carner, Wolf Alice, Ezra Furman, Lady Gaga and Rihanna (the two of whom I don't listen to much, but I think they'd bring some amazing pop flair), the Kills, Chvrches, All We Are, Warpaint, Tame Impala, Susanne Sundfør, Amason and then Katzenjammer for some fun nostalgia, ohh and Kate Tempest! and Charli XCX was a lot of fun and I wouldn’t mind seeing her again. ummm okay and then a club line-up for after hours with AlunaGeorge, Disclosure, Hot Chip, Roger Sanchez, Röksopp ft Robyn, Christine Dancke and Nick Grimshaw because why not ;) (And now I’ll probably go on to regret everyone I forgot to add)
7. You’re given the power to unilaterally create one law or policy in one country - what is it? To nationalise all natural resources so their riches would benefit the people rather than a few rich private business owners and multinational corporations who are often not even based locally.
8. If you had to commit to living in one place for the rest of your life, what would it be? Part of me wants to say London, but I think realistically I'll have to choose Bergen (in Norway)<3
9. Thinking about your life a year from now, what’s one thing that you hope will be different? I hope I’m no longer in this limbo between life phases and will have got to implement the changes I’m going for properly.
10. What’s one thing that you hope will be the same?
My relationship.
11. What’s the last thing that made you laugh?
Was out with some friends for beers last night, which included many laughs, but I can’t remember what in particular that made me laugh. I hang out with these people way to rarely. They’re such great people, and hanging out with them feels so relaxed.
And last but not least, @huldrejenta‘s questions:
1. What was your favourite album as a teenager?
Depends on when you asked me. If I was 13, probably “The Eminem Show”, but as a 17-year old, most definitely Arctic Monkeys’ “Whatever People Say I Am That’s What I’m Not” (which still stands as one of my all time favourites)
2. What’s your favourite album now?
Pumarosa – “The Witch” – fantastic album, which I wholeheartedly recommend.
3. One pairing you’d love to have more fanfic/art about?
As mentioned above, Ginny/Luna. But also more femslash in general would be pretty fantastic.
4. What’s your favourite villain in books and/or movies?
I’m not a villain kind of lady, but maybe Umbridge? I don’t think anyone has ever given me as bad feelings as her, because she’s such a realistic villain in a lot of ways. She’s not caricature evil like Voldy or Sauron, but an everyday, self-involved, closed minded evil. And that’s a very effective kind of evil to hate.
5. Do you believe in supernatural phenomenons? No
6. You can have dinner with any person from history, who would you choose? This is kind of an impossible question. So many interesting persons through history. But, actually, I think I’d really have loved to have met my grandfather on my father’s side. My dad is quite old, so his dad was born in the late 1800s and died long before I was born, but he was a teacher and from the sound of it, incredibly foresighted and modern for a man of that time. Which are values he’s very much passed on to his sons. My dad is amazing. My grandfather was a teacher, and during the Nazi occupation of Norway during WW2, he was among those who lost their jobs because he refused to teach nazi ideology to his pupils. And this was in a small, working class industry town, and my dad has told so many fantastic stories about him. I’d love to have met him and talked to him.
7. Name three things you like about yourself :)
While I’m pretty shy, I’m also kind of tough in some ways. I went to Japan without much of a plan and winged it as we went. I started playing rugby at age 27. I started singing in a choir I found by googling, where I didn’t know anyone. I wish that toughness spread to other sides of my life, but at least it’s something.
I can sing, something which brings me immense joy.
I have a pretty good memory, combined with wide spanning interests and curiosity, so I remember a lot of weird facts and random things.
8. Hogwarts era Drarry, yes or no? Depends. 8th year, post war/canon, yes. Canon divergence (other than ewe), mostly no.
9. What was the last thing you googled? The lyrics for some 1d songs for one of the questions further up :P
10. Favourite Harry Potter book? Hmmmmmmmmmm I don’t know? Maybe Prisoner of Azkaban? They’ve all had very profound effects on me though, so it’s like choosing a favourite child.
11. Favourite museum/gallery? I’ve seen a lot of amazing museum during my life, so that’s kind of impossible to answer as well. But maybe, for nostalgic reasons, Bryggens Museum in Bergen. Because my dad used to take me and my sister there sometimes during weekends when we were little, when my mum needed to sleep after a night shift at the hospital. And he’d tell stories and we’d look at the archaeological spots and the seasonal exhibits, and we’d get soda and cake in the museum café.
My questions:
1. Do you have a song stuck in your head right now? Which one?
2. Do you have any plans in the foreseeable future that you’re looking forward to?
3. What’s your favourite place inside your house/flat?
4. What hobbies do you have outside of fandom?
5. Do you speak any languages besides your own?
6. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
7. If you could meet the leader of your country and tell them whatever you wanted, and be guaranteed they’d listen to you, what would you say?
8. What movie did you watch over and over as a child, and what was your favourite thing about it?
9. What’s your favourite thing about each season through the year?
10. If you were to get a pet tomorrow, what would you call it and why?
11. How did you discover fanfiction?
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man, i don’t want to write anything... i’m tired. i will write anyway.
i had a dream about being surrounded by people but being, sort of, for some unexplained reason, unable to communicate with them. like, i could talk and they might have heard me, there’s no reason they wouldn’t have, but they didn’t respond to anything i did. we were in a mall and the floor was glass. toward the end of the dream there was a blizzard and the glass had cracked. i tread carefully, but it never broke.
right at the very end, someone asked me a question, and as i opened my mouth to respond i woke up because my alarm went off. i was so incredibly frustrated for about half a second and then i couldn’t remember what i had wanted to say any more.
oh! there were also zombies. and undead, but they were different from zombies. i had come to the mall to do something about them but i got sidetracked and then people stopped paying attention to me. that’s how i got there.
it was really complicated, but i don’t remember what exactly was happening. i was trying to bring the dead back to life? but the zombies were beyond help and converting the undead into the FOR REAL dead. i spent a lot of time in a garden shed and under a concrete ledge.
dreams aside, i woke up and got ready for the day and then sat at the computer for a little bit. i think i was checking tumblr? i was so hunched over the dang desk that i may as well have been laying on it.
then we went to gramma’s! before we left dad was being super passive aggressive and i’m not sure why. it was really confusing and also annoying. mom ended up leaving without him and taking us to gramma’s. i put on some music and didn’t think about it too much.
the easter celebration was good. i totally wrecked my cousins at batman dice. the score was 1 to 2 to 3 to 16. and i visited with gramma and her friends and neighbors a lot. apparently dad’s mom barbara was also supposed to attend but she wasn’t feeling well. dad showed up eventually and brought the batman dice game with him. after that it was lunchtime. i gorged myself on my aunt’s salsa and tried to also eat fruit and chips and potato salad and an apple cinnamon cookie... i got so sick i passed out on the couch. grampa woke me up to get me to go lay on his bed instead. it was a little warmer in there and i felt the room spin around me while i dozed. i heard my name one point and i think it was mom telling a dumb story about me, but i felt my muscles tense up for a few seconds anyway. an hour later my brother came to get me and i rolled on my back and my whole abdomen just throbbed and every single heartbeat was a wave of nausea.
i felt junky the whole way home but i tried to count the number of songs i listened to while we were on the highway and that helped. when we got inside i hung out with the dogs a while. i tried to brush some of the mats out of diogi’s fur but wiley and eve were suddenly very interested in standing directly on top of my lap and tipping diogi over. my brother and i fed them, and then after i coaxed eve into eating her food they were outside for a bit. and then i came upstairs until i got a little hungry. i went downstairs to reheat some rice from my family’s previous burrito adventure and had a tiny cup. dad left to go take barbara to the hospital. she spends a lot of time there.
i mean, i don’t doubt that she is sick and needs to go. but... there are a lot of ways she could make this, easier and less expensive for my family? like one time she slipped and fell and hit her head on the bathroom door. she called our house in the evening and thought it was morning, so we went to check on her.
if she’d had, say, one of those life alert things or a check-in plan now that she’s living alone she wouldn’t have been laying there for almost a day. and i think this inability to take care of herself is part of what led her to the decision to kill her dog, DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE WERE WILLING TO AND HAD PREVIOUSLY TAKEN CARE OF THE DOG WHEN SHE DIDN’T WANT TO/COULDN’T, AND ALSO THAT HE WAS NOT THAT OLD YET. HE WAS 2 YEARS OLDER THAN EVE, BUT HE IS A TOY POODLE. HE LIVES LONGER THAN 14 YEARS. THEY CAN BE REASONABLY EXPECTED TO LIVE TO 16-18.
like yeah, i’m sorry your husband died and you aren’t putting your life back together. i’m sorry you both suffered an addiction to nicotine that led to the disease grandpa developed. but when we are forced to take you to the hospital because you have no system in place to get yourself anywhere or alert people when you are not doing well, you don’t even take the doctor’s advice, and you refuse to stay in rehab because they don’t let you smoke when you’re hooked up to an oxygen machine! you had a heart attack and you walked out of the hospital a few days later when they wouldn’t let you smoke!!! you stole grandpa’s pain killers while he was alive! you tried to sell your house despite EVERYONE telling you that was a bad idea for many, many reasons!!! you ditched all your furniture in preparation for selling the house anyway and tHEN CHANGED YOUR MIND. you killed your dog and changed your mind the next day so you got a cat, AND THEN YOU DITCHED THE CAT A FEW WEEKS LATER. and then you got ANOTHER cat, and then moved to minnesota or wherever WHERE YOUR FAMILY ASKED YOU NOT TO BRING A CAT AND YOU BROUGHT IT ANYWAY, and then moved back a few months later because you didn’t like paying rent!!!!!!!!!!
i’m sorry life is hard. i’m sorry that bad ideas seem like good ideas to you??? but you’re hurting literally everyone you come into contact with. you’re not even nice to dad when he comes to do your chores for you. you’re just a jackass and you smoke when he’s in the house even though you know the smell makes him sick. and the new cat is too terrified to ever come out from under the bed.
i hate barbara. not as much as i hate craig, because she doesn’t seem aware of what she’s doing, but god it’s hard.
i did put on some bug spray before i went outside this evening. it helped. tomorrow i gotta go to the mental health hospital place. i am afraid that i am not sick enough for their help. because i am too sick to NOT get their help. but i might not be sick enough for them to give me a spot on their roster. like some kind of hellish middle ground.
do i play up my anxiety? would that be lying? am i really not that bad? maybe i should downplay it. but then i’m less likely to get help... am i not depressed/anxious enough because i know i need help? usually with depression it’s like “ohh it COULD be worse, i must not be bad enough for real help.” i know, the cognitive dissonance is making my head explode too.
being evaluated is horrible. what if they happen to catch me on a good day and get the wrong idea? what if they catch me on a bad day and i’m not good enough? standardized tests, medical evaluations, people watching when i say “hey look at this!” they’re just clouds, sammie.
my legs are miserably itchy. i can’t sit comfortably with the itching cream on. the texture of the chair’s fabric against my calves is irritating. the wood of the desk rubs my thighs wrong. my feet are rough and catch on fabric like velcro and they never seem to sit at quite the right angle. my back hurts. my stomach hurts. the skin on my fingers and knuckles is splitting because i wash my hands too much and don’t drink quite enough water. and my body is always telling me i need to go to the bathroom but when i try to go i can’t because there is nothing there. i just went 20 minutes ago. and if my eyes water for any reason something in them gets really dry and it burns and hurts.
it doesn’t even help when i’m, like, outside and not on the computer. my abdomen starts really hurting when i’m out on walks and it only fades, doesn’t go away. my eyes hurt when the sun’s up. i’m tired all the time. eating is usually awful. the lawn is wet and muddy on my feet and i immediately get bug bites. nothing on my body is healing properly.
i’m just... really frustrated tonight. i saw my sister at the easter party. i asked if her childhood stomachaches ever went away. she said no, and it still usually hurts when she eats. i don’t know how she functions if it’s anything like this. no wonder she never wants to do anything and gets irritable if she can’t eat what she wants.
i’m afraid it’ll never go away. no one can even figure out what’s wrong. i’m not any more anxious than i was while i could go to school. the only thing i could think of with the doctor was that it was years of general anxiety that built up this problem. at least with depression there’s literally a chemical reaction happening in your head that can be changed with medication. but like, they can’t even find an ulcer or anything. there’s just... nothing wrong.
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code: calico
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: role play fuck my brains out bc i just virtually sucked someone's cock and got nothing in return
Stranger: why did you do that?
You: that's not a bad question
You: idk i thought i'd get something in return
Stranger: i guess so. some reward :D
You: yeah exactly
Stranger: it's like in movies, why girls are sluty
Stranger: they want something in return
You: hah i mean it's only fair isn't it?
Stranger: i think its kind of self deception
You: that's also not a bad remark
You: i always blindly believe men
You: i mean not blindly but
Stranger: we believe what we want to believe.
Stranger: so the important thing is what we want
Stranger: i mean, people want to "live happily ever after"
You: tru
Stranger: they imagine family, love and so on
You: but what do i want
You: i don't really fit into that tbh
Stranger: o.k., so what do you want
You: i mean i don't want family
You: i guess i wouldn't mind love but i don't expect it
Stranger: o.k., maybe you want relationship?
You: i don't even know what it feels so
You: i can't really feel any romantic feelings towards people?
You: it's kind of
You: sad actually
Stranger: do you feel like life is meaningless?
You: yeah
Stranger: maybe out of boredom you just try to have some "fun"
You: i mean exactly
You: i don't expect anyone to love me because i know i probably won't love anyone so
Stranger: oh
Stranger: by the way
You: yes?
Stranger: one good song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voi-aQlvP68 heard it yesterday in a movie
Stranger: stange movie, "Calico Skies"
Stranger: strange
You: i'm listening to the song and i really like it, thank you!
You: noted, i'll put it on my to-watch list :)
Stranger: what you said reminded my of the lyrics of this song
Stranger: she's kind of sad because she knows a man will love her, be she will not so much
You: okay i really like the song??? the voice is so nice also i rly like this type of music
Stranger: do you watch Game of Thrones?
You: i watched like 2 season but then i stopped hhh you?
Stranger: i watch it. yeah, 2 season was impressive. the red wedding, isn't it?
You: yup
You: i see there's so much drama now hahah
Stranger: :) yeah, they lost it, i guess
Stranger: the beggining was building impressive,
Stranger: anyway
Stranger: you are f or m?
You: f
You: you?
Stranger: m
Stranger: so why girls suck cocks, it quite nonsensical
Stranger: gross acitivyt
You: i mean tru but i guess it's for the dude's pleasure? also it's kinda fun to have so much power over someone
Stranger: yeah, but this is zero sum game - pleasure for the dude, but for the sucker what?
Stranger: nah, it never appealed to me
You: it's a lot of work actually but i guess all of this is just giving and receiving
Stranger: i think physically it's quite troublesome
Stranger: for a woman
You: i mean it usually takes time??
You: and then everything just starts to hurt bc the dude can't come that fast and it's just
You: uh
Stranger: yeah. crazy stuff
Stranger: but people do many crazy things :)
You: hah that's true
Stranger: what's your country?
You: uk
Stranger: old good uk :)
You: hahahahh
You: you?
Stranger: russia
You: oh nice!
You: ive never been there but i rly want to go to moscow
Stranger: come sometimes, we'll drink a lot of vodka together
You: oh my god no vodka always kills me
Stranger: :D
Stranger: it kills everyone
You: that's like my top three worst drunk moments all involved vodka it's the devil
Stranger: ha ha ha
Stranger: wine is also tricky, it is very intoxicating
Stranger: try a lot of red wine
Stranger: you'll see :D
You: i love wine tho
You: but yeah it also hits pretty hard hahahah
You: how old are u tho?
Stranger: 28
You: ah i'm 24
Stranger: vow vow, we would make a perfect pair :D
You: hahahh we really would :)
Stranger: anyway, why people always try to pair at all?
Stranger: natures call?
You: i have no idea
You: i mean is it really tho
You: i don't think it's nature, it's the culture
You: the society
You: everyone is always shocked when i tell them that i'm single and i don't want kids because they're like??? but how??
You: everyone expects things according to the society they live in and it's kinda annoying sometimes
Stranger: yeah, it's quite strange. everyone want to live by that stream: family, kids, happy life. no alternatives
You: exactly
You: it's like i'm obliged to live my life by this rule
You: and i'm weird if i don't follow
Stranger: but even if people remain single, they want to get romantically involved
Stranger: that is also strange
Stranger: it's like some software inside of us,
You: tru. i sometimes catch myself wishing i'd have a boyfriend and a house and two kids and a dog bc i remember i wished for all that when i was a child. and then once again i see that my parents told me that this is how it is? you get older, you get married, have kids, a house, a job and that's what i also wished for when i was younger
You: i was raised by these values
You: and now that i'm older and i don't want that anymore but i feel like at the same time a part of me maybe still hopes that one day everything would just go the way a young me dreamed it to be
Stranger: when i was younger, i also had dreams about family. and all people about 20 yo i know have the same. almost all.
You: really?
You: what do you want?
Stranger: with time i have seen that this is very big struggle, family, kids, relationship, and "you do not get what you imagine". so i drop those young dreams. they were not realistic. it was illusions of young person. i did not know life and did not know the world.
Stranger: i want to rise above the problems of this life. to get free.
Stranger: not to get entangled more and more
You: the first part!!
You: i really believe that this is what contributed to the majority of crap i had to go through as a teenager and up to this day
You: u see but how does one get free
You: i feel like time to actually! enjoy this life is running out and at the same time i feel there's just sooo much left of it and i'm just passing by, doing things that don't make me happy
You: (bc i don't really know what makes me happy)
You: (imma go brush my teeth and shit i might be gone for about ten minutes okay?)
You: (and shit does not mean take an actual shit i just meant it as "and other stuff")
Stranger: o.k., yes, please do the needful. i'll have some time to reflect. :)
Stranger: i see it like this: I want to be happy just by existing. To rise above my own mental structures, that don't let me feel happy, don't let me feel light and content. I think, if one in his soul "takes everything very easy", not burdening himself with so many false ideas about why he is this or that, and just tries to be, to exist authentically, as a being that is free, then it is good state of consciousness.
Stranger: just to feel that lightness.
Stranger: do i need to do something for that, some big projects of life? I dont think so. Just need to give up some mental stuff. It's all in the mind.
Stranger: if man will simply change his mind, he can be happy. And so many jobs, responsibilies and relationships will not make him happy. It will be just a lot of troubles.
Stranger: anyway, we are all after happiness. the only question is, where is that real happiness
You: that's actually a very interesting perspective that i do find myself agreeing to but at the same time i feel like in theory it sounds ideal and simple but it's really hard to just let go of what's in your mind
Stranger: you are right :) it not easy
You: i was very hung up on the happiness thing as i felt unhappy all the time. and i wondered whether or not you're ever really happy in life. and i asked my mother (u know the older the wiser or smth) and she said that happiness isn't really a long period of time but rather a moment here and there that makes you happy to be alive
You: and that thought made me really sad at the time because i always felt like happiness is something that comes in time - when you get older, wiser, more experienced etc but now i'm discovering my mother wasn't really wrong?
You: at least that's how i experience life
You: my colleague tho, she lovES life. literally loves it. the most positive bright cheerful happy person i have ever seen w my two eyes. and it's just weird bc what did she do how did she achieve this bliss how can she see this life so full of good things
You: it's just
You: so weird
Stranger: it depends on what we do. I think, it's real assessment of ordinary life - happiness are just rear and fleeting moments. but i my life there were some periods where i felt very happy for considerable periods of time. no i do not feel so happy. and with age, happiness diminishes, i think, because the body begins to make a lot of problems. then one is not as energetic as before. and you have to work and survive with less and less energy to accomplish that.
Stranger: i thing technologies, computers, internet steal a lot of happiness
Stranger: i went to asia for some time, and after few months i revived the joy of life
You: that's true but it's also what made it really tough to keep living - that it won't get better in time. i was really sad and depressed for the majority of my teenage years so being alive while people kept telling me it's only gonna get harder wasn't really a good thing for me i guess. but at least my expectations weren't that high hahah
You: that's true but at the same time i depend on them to distract me from life so it's really in contradiction
Stranger: it can get better
You: ohh where did u go
Stranger: it must
You: i mean that's what i want to believe but like someone give me idk an age at which it gets better hh
Stranger: with good strategy, there is way. i think so. because I experienced it for a while. I does not depend on the age
Stranger: i may be unhappy for the rest of my life, if i do not try, and stay as i am
Stranger: but if i will apply whatever i learned about happiness, i may achieve something, as i had before.
You: that's a really nice and positive thought
You: i'll keep it in mind
Stranger: if there is hunger, there must be food. so if we are hungry for happiness, it must be out there. or inside of us.
Stranger: oh my god, it's 1 am here
Stranger: forgot myself while talking this stuff :)
You: but it's just so annoying my time is ticking?
You: hahahah
You: i really enjoyed it tho
You: it's rare to find someone to have this kind of conversation with
Stranger: o.k., lets think of a keyword by which we can find each other on omegle again.
Stranger: :)
You: okay
You: :)
Stranger: i know. "Calico". you'll find me by this.
You: good one. i'm going to write it down so i don't forget :)
You: also so i don't forget to download the songs
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