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cheriladycl01 · 3 months

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Random Girl - Lando Norris x Actress! Reader

Plot: Y/N being spotted in the most random places you could think off and its gets to the point where people joke that they wouldn't be shocked if she posted a story from the ISS.

Credit to lqvesoph for the GIF

Lando knew his girlfriend was a bit ditzy, but that was the whole appeal that she came with. However, what he didn't expect was when he was at race weekends by himself that she couldn't attend, he'd get notifications from gossip pages, new articles and pap pages showing his girlfriend to be spotted in the most random places possible.

It first started when they had only been dating for a few months, they'd met in the McLaren paddock where she'd been invited to a GP and brought her motorsport loving father along with her. They'd hit it off immediately. Lando was shy, having this well known actress talking to him like she'd known him all his life and kind of fumbled at the opportunity to ask her out to dinner after the race.

Of course, you had swooped in asking him yourself.

After those few dates, you both became busy. Crazily enough he still didn't know much about you. Obviously he knew enough, like your age and that you were from England and all of those other weird Wiki facts that people added to your profile after you'd stated them in interviews.

So when he saw a news article that was a picture of you, in what he deemed to be loungewear on a countryside town in the UK helping your dad out mucking the stables he couldn't help but texting and asking where you were.

When you'd replied at home, it made more sense but he was shocked as you seemed like the definition of a London city girl.

And of course you were a London City girl, but that didn't stop you going back home, to your routes and getting your hands a little dirty.

After this, you were then cast in the GranTurismo movie as Audrey the girlfriend of Jann Mardenborough. You made friends with Emelia Hartford, Archie Madekwe, Joshua Stradowski, Darren Barnet and Sang Heon Lee. Of course you were already familiar with Orlando Bloom and David Harbour having acted with them before.

It was funny however, how it wasn't public knowledge that you and Lando were an item yet and you were in a movie to do with racing. You both found it bazar, but it also wasn't the usual type of movie you were in. So when fans watched and then realized who you were rumored to be dating it all made sense.

The next was he was in his drivers room with his team mate Oscar, they were both aimlessly scrolling through TikTok waiting for their typical Thursday media duties when all of a sudden Oscar practically spat his water out, choking on it.

"Mate that's disgusting" Lando complains flicking the spitty water off his wrist.

"Tell me why your girlfriend is on my TikTok for you page weightlifting in the middle of London!" he asks rewinding the video just to make sure he wasn't seeing things and that it was you.

Without a doubt, it was you. Even with sunglasses and a Mclaren cap covering your face from the general public, he knew it was you. Not only could he tell it was you because he'd seen you so many times in the paddock and hanging out with his own girlfriend Lily that he'd introduced you to and you'd both become fast friends. But the noticeable thing was the massive keychain you were holding.

You were known for loosing stuff, so one Christmas the grid decided to all get you something to attach to your house and car keys. So whenever you left the house you didn't loose them. There was a pink fluffy ball attached that Max had got you, your Mclaren Car Key was showing, the Pirelli wheel Lewis had got you. The picture of you and Lando, Lando had got for you, there was an Yves St Laurent charm from Lewis and much more but it was so specific that Oscar knew it was you.

"What do you mean my girlfriend is weightlifting on your tiktok" he asks crawling onto the sofa from the ground that he was sat on, budging up closer to Oscar and looking over his shoulder to where he phone was playing the small segment.

There you were, placing your keys into your bag before hitching it high up on your arm and lifting the weight. It was heavy and from the rest of the video not many other people had managed to do it. However you there, in your high heels and short skirt you lifted it up no problem. He knew it was in your range as you often would work out with him, and sometimes you had a better stamina than he did. That was because of some of the movies you'd had to train for in the past, making you have a really serious work out regime.

The crowd applauded you before you did a kind curtsy taking the drink from the guy who was recording the video. As you lifted your glasses up taking a drink, people stared to recognize you and started to ask for pictures and autographs. The video cut out to the next lifter before he could see what occurred from the fans that were around you.

"Babe what the hell is this on Oscar's titkok of you weightlifting for free drinks from randoms in the street! Are you okay did you get mobbed? The video cut out before we could see anything. My god its so dangerous you shouldn't be out alone!" he scolds before even saying hi to you.

"Hello to you to Lando" he laugh and he sighs.

"You shouldn't do stuff like that baby, I worry!" he explains and you just giggle.

"I was fine Lan, I had security waiting for me behind the camera and there wasn't too many people! I was fine and got home all safe!" you smile into the phone rolling your eyes at your mum who was awing at how cute he was being. After a while he hung up needing to go for media duties.

Then during your first summer break together, you, Lily, Oscar and Lando all wanted to go on holiday together. So you all suggested somewhere you wanted to go, that couldn't be your home. So Lando suggested Lapland, Lily suggested Bali, Oscar suggested Greece and you suggested Florida, specifically Disneyworld so of course, yours had to be picked being the most likely place to be seen.

And of course if you were going to Florida you had to bring Logan... so obviously when pictures were released of you and the others being toured round the parks by a cast member and finding yourself building cars in Test Track in Epcot and Lando making a Lando Log out of it. The parks were extra busy when you guys went as well so you had to have your security walk round the parks with you, so you guys just drew all the attention to you.

After this you were in New York, filming the ending of the movie you were currently the lead in. So you couldn't come to the first race after summer break.

So when Lando was chilling out at home after the first race waiting for you to land back in France so he could drive and get you, he was watching TikTok's. He was aimlessly scrolling until he saw a video that was those ones where people go up to strangers with headphones and ask what they were listening too.

The guy clearly had no idea he was talking to you, a very famous actress but Lando once again was shocked how you seem to get yourself into these situation.

You politely take one airpod out and offer him a sorry i didn't understand. He asks what song your listening to and your reply had Lando bursting out laughing as it was Voulez-Vous by ABBA. He watched as you walked off with the song playing in the background as you took note of the camera and waved with a big grin.

He checked the comments knowing there would be an outrage that the guy didn't know who he was speaking too. And he was right of course.

-user1: how has my guy fumbled like that in front of Miss Y/N

-user2: no way my guy didn't know he's speaking to the richest young actress out there right now...

-user3: boy don't know Y/N Y/L/N and he's into F1... blunder fr

-user4: it's so funny where Y/N is caught out and how normal she is, she's just one of us at the end of the day

-user5: Y/N is spotted anywhere fr

The next time was when your mugshots got released, now this was the one that Lando found the most shocking. But after hearing your side of the story he was laughing and your manager eventually got the LAPD to apologize for their actions and their mistreatment.

"So Y/N some pictures were released of you ahead of this weekend following a big apology from the Los Angeles Police Department. Can you explain to us what happened?" the F1 interviewer asks and you chuckle a little.

"Yeah, its actually really funny considering i spent the day in a holding cell because no-one could get hold of me. So i was driving to set to start filming, and I was pulled over. I still don't know what I was actually pulled over for, they never ended up telling me. But when i was asked for ID i accidently handed over my Fake ID from the movie set. Once i realized my mistake I stupidly forgot we were in America where officers are a little more hands on and he decided to arrest me for handing a fake id to an officer of the law and interfering with an ongoing investigation. Obviously once people from set realised i wasn't just late they came down to the office and explain what i was trying to do, they re watched the footage from both my dash cam that was on me, and the officer's footage and it was deemed as an unlawful arrest so they let me go. I have no idea who leaked the mugshots but I still look good!" you exclaim making the interviewers laugh.

"That's quite the story Y/N, what do you get yourself into!" he offers making you laugh even more.

In the winter season, you taken some time off so you could travel round with Lando both for his last few races and his winter break, you spent his off season with him travelling from Bali, to Australia, to Finland, back home, and then to Thailand. But you had one request and that was to go tAmerica or South Korea to watch a KPOP concert.

You wanted to see StrayKids live, and so Lando not only got you front row tickets but also came with you to their LA show. You were sat in a normal bit of the crowd with other fans who when they noticed it was you were screaming before the artists themselves even came on.

It was even more funny when the group came out on stage and it took them 4 songs before they recognised you.

"Holy shit guys is that Y/N Y/L/N?" Chris asks looking down at the crowd where you were sat.

"Huge fan!" Hyunjin shouted, even though you had worked together before in Versace as Brand Ambassadors. Same with Felix and Yves Saint Laurent. Fans went crazy at the interactions happening and when it went viral later people only commented on the fact that you were just casually at a KPOP concert with your F1 driver boyfriend.

The next time was when Lando, who wasn’t opposed to going to a casino himself walked in on his girlfriend after a race at a casino. She was there at the Poker Table with winning chips animatedly talking to the dealer.

“Babe?” He’d asked you with a laugh surprised to see you here!

“Omg baby! Hi the guys said you were coming here and I wanted to surprise you but I ended up coming here a few hours to early and now I’ve won 30k. I’m thinking I’ll get you a new watch with that” she grins as if this 30k has just changed her life. When they know that 30k is absolutely nothing to her.

“You, how do you find yourself in these situations” he laughs looking over at you before tossing one of your chips into the pile looking at your current cards.

“Hey bet with your own money baby!” You frown at him everyone around the table laughing.

“Are we at the high stakes table right now?” He asks looking round and seeing some familiar faces of very rich men.

“Yeah baby why?” You ask nonchalantly, like it was nothing.

“My god, okay let’s wrap this up and go meet everyone else at the club”

And the most recent time was when you started live streaming from the top of the HollyWood sign after making the long climb up there.

Lando just watched from Bahrain, at pre- season testing while you were just climbing up to the Holly wood sign and showing the world where you were currently at.

He did worry for a second about your inability to know what you should and shouldn’t be showing the world and when. But when you panned round to show the two security with you in casual gym wear he was more settled.

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leonardcohenofficial · 9 months

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there’s a great write up by someone on here that i will have to search for in which they discuss how the ultimate evil for david lynch is sexual violence against women (even more severe than murder, which is often auxiliary to that type of specific violence); twin peaks is incredibly soapy—on purpose! lynch and frost are playing with form and content on purpose to examine incredibly difficult subject matter through a (for lack of a better word) more palatable format—which most of the time i think works to its advantage and makes those moments of visible horror so much more effective (i use “visible” rather than “true” or other similar adjectives because the horror is always there, it’s embedded in the entire town, shows up in every generation we see in screen and we watch them grapple with it in different ways, but that’s a separate post)

however—and i’ve talked about this before—i find that once you’ve watched fire walk with me it is so much harder to watch the show because the ignorance of nearly every single member of the town (yes, including cooper) pervades the way the action unfolds. twin peaks viewers knew the premise of the show going in and we get to discover details and information alongside the characters. when albert rosenfield comes in as the only voice of reason and reality, it’s set up to be jarring to both the townspeople and to the viewer. why?

sheryl lee said in an interview, “fire walk with me was very difficult for me to watch… and, emotionally it’s a reminder: this is a movie, but this continues to happen every day and how can we stop it? when i watch fire walk with me now, as a mother, i watch it and i think look at all those signs that were being exhibited. this girl was in danger, and look at all these people that were in her life. what would have happened if someone, somewhere, somehow could have helped or stopped it? that’s hard to watch.”

much has been discussed critically about fire walk with me and whether or not it’s exploitative in the ways that it portrays sexual violence against women. while lynch does not shy away from making that violence visible, it is done so in an attempt to make the viewer examine their own relationship to that violence and how it shows up in their own lives. the audience is forced to think about the ways that they are complicit in how and why these violent acts occur and what they can do to stop it, which is why for many it is an uncomfortable watch. for others, it is a painful (and speaking from my own perspective) necessary watch because lynch didn’t make a horror movie, he made a documentary.

fire walk with me is necessary (in my humblest of opinions) to understand why the pieces that lynch and frost put into twin peaks work. there’s so much backstory to how they weren’t originally going to reveal who laura palmer’s killer was until ABC made them, lynch wasn’t around during much of the second season so things got a little off the rails storytelling-wise, etc. etc. but fire walk with me allows them to tie difficult, often horrifying threads (ben horne unknowingly attempting to have sex with his daughter, the townspeople’s distancing of albert, the hands of random townspeople trembling as BOB attempts to claw back into the material world, the list goes on and on) back to the central thesis of “sexual violence is the ultimate evil, it is completely avoidable, and you have a responsibility to recognize the signs and stop being complicit”

#twin peaks #david lynch #fire walk with me #this is a huge essay but i’ve been really thinking about this lately as even though i love—LOVE—twin peaks (i have a twin peaks tattoo!) it #has been getting really hard to engage with lately and for me this is why; the combination of the fact that FWWM is an incredible #examination of horrific real life violence and because of the ways that we see the ignorance of everyone else (purposefully) put on screen #in short i think david lynch is a master for this reason but man if it isn’t hard (and important! but hard!) to engage with!

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fuckyeahgoodomens · 2 months

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David and Michael interview with Emily Aslanian for TV Insider, 10.7.2023 :)

David: So Gabriel shows up at Aziraphale's bookshop naked. He's lost his memory. Where does that leave our good heroes?

Michael: Well, Aziraphale, for someone who is of a slightly nervous disposition, for a naked... his ex boss to turn up outside his bookshop in Soho in the daytime, naked and wanting a hug, is not necessarily what Aziraphale had on his bingo card that day. But once he comes in and Aziraphale has to take him in, we discover that there is a mystery to be solved.

David: Yes.

Michael: And Aziraphale enjoys a mystery, but doesn't enjoy things like the end of the world or the stakes being that high.

David: He enjoys the mystery a little too much for Crowley's like.

Michael: He does a little bit.

David: Crowley just wants this sorted and he doesn't want you indulging your fantasy of being a private eye.

Michael: That's right, Aziraphale gets to really enjoy that. But they are forced, you know, they're a team of two now anyway, because they become detached from their respective head offices. But this forces them together even more. They've only got each other to rely on and they have to solve this mystery. And the clock is ticking. So it starts a whole chain of events that starts off potentially not being as high stakes as Season One. But as it goes along, we realise the apocalypse was just the beginning.

David: It was nothing! It was a mere bagatelle! How much time passes between Series One and Series Two. Do we know exactly?

Michael: I don't know exactly. But things have changed, obviously, between... I mean, Aziraphale is thoroughly enjoying himself. He's sort of got what he wanted, which is to be able to be in his bookshop, listen to music, watch shows, eat nice meals, drink wine, hang out with Crowley. He's a little disconcerted by not having the company behind him because he's such a company man. So that's a bit strange. But Crowley is...

David: It's not worked out quite so well for Crowley. He has the liberation of being free from Hell breathing down his neck. But he has lost the company apartment. So he is living in his car now with his pot plants. So circumstances are slightly reduced for him and he can't quite let go because we see him on a park bench catching up with Miranda Richardson's character Shax, who's taken over from him, trying to dig up a bit of gossip and find out what's really going on. So they have the freedom of not being watched over. But for Crowley, it's not worked out quite as well as perhaps he imagined.

Michael: What are they looking for in each other, I wonder?

David: In each other...

Michael: Well, I mean, I think, they sort of... on the surface, the things that annoy them the most about each other are actually what they are most compelled by.

David: Crave, yes, yes.

Michael: And so they’re sort of bound together, aren’t they? In all kinds of ways. I think Aziraphale is both infuriated and maddened and very stressed out by Crowley’s constant questioning of things. Things that Aziraphale thinks are just… those are the rules. Crowley being a sort of rule breaker and a rule bender, he finds incredibly stressful. And yet I think that’s sort of what he craves.

David: Drawn to.

Michael: He’s drawn to that.

David: Irrepressibly.

Michael: Yes.

David: Yes. And I think probably Aziraphale’s very consistency and very even-temperedness is something that Crowley kind of craves as well. There’s a sort of security in that which he doesn’t really get anywhere else. But, yes, they bicker away, but clearly with the security of a couple who know they can't really exist without each other. But I don't think... they never really admit what they are to each other. There's sort of understanding that they've only really got each other now, and therefore they rely on each other hugely. And, you know, as soon as Aziraphale is in trouble, he calls up Crowley to come and help him. There's no question there's...

Michael: Someone once said, what do any of us have but our illusions? And what do we ask of anyone but that we be allowed to keep them?

David: That's... who once said that? Should I not ask you that?

Michael: Don't ask me.

David: Don't ask you that.

Michael: Let me just say that.

David: It's lovely.

Michael: And sounds clever.

David: Michael Sheen once said something about illusions. It was really nice.

Michael: Whenever you hear someone say, 'A wise man once said', it's usually me.

David: It is usually you.

#good omens #michael sheen #david tennant #david and michael #dm #tv insider #interview #michael interview #david interview #david and michael interview #ac #tv insider 2023 #good omens meta #fun fact #s2 interview #videos #transcripts #video interview

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mapileonxputellas · 6 months

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Beckham II: 1 New Beginning

Please find instagram aesthetic here.

Post here explains how I've wrote it, I think it's quite simple.

This is the first part of my new series and I hope you enjoy xx (3k words)

“Do you ever think about how crazy it is that you’re an icon in Barcelona and yet your dad played for Real Madrid?”

“I try not to think about that. I think that bothers him more than me.”

“Does he have any Barcelona shirts?”

“Of course he does.”

…..

“David, how does it feel watching your daughter play for Barcelona?”

“It’s the best feeling in the world. I’m guessing you were expecting some kind of rivalry but I’ll always support my daughter.”

…..

Barcelona, February 2023.

One down, nine to go.

It was like clockwork in your brain. Training would finish, everyone else would rush to get back into the training room and get back to their everyday life. Yet here you were, on your own, just how you like it. You and the ball. Free kick after free kick after free kick. Ten in total, all from different areas, all with different aims but each one just as equally important in your brain.

Barcelona was a dream. You were here with the best players in the world but you hated letting anyone down. Every little mistake was over-analysed, picked at all because of who you were. At the weekend it was a wonder save which stopped one nestling in the top corner but that didn’t matter. It hadn’t gone in and therefore didn’t meet your expectations.

The expectations you put on yourself, multiplied by that moment four years ago.

You loved your father but many people probably didn’t understand that there wasn’t a gene for taking good free kicks.

Unbeknownst to you, all of this was about to change. “You’ve got a visitor.”

“If it’s another journalist, tell them I’m not interested.”

You couldn’t be bothered with whatever reply the press officer would tell you. It was the same every day. Someone wanted to speak to you, you said no. They came back the next day.

You’d think they’d get bored after four years of consistent turn aways but that was never the case. You did the press conferences, the interviews after games but a sit-down full-length interview was not something you felt like you could ever handle.

So you carried on, resetting the ball in the correct spot. Back to just you and the ball.

For February it was a sunny afternoon in Barcelona, the sun was still shining for the mid-afternoon with minimal wind. Perfect conditions to practice and as your teammates had pointed out you hadn’t needed any more persuasion to get that training vest on, your tattoos on full show. Along with football they were your biggest passion, your phone was full of tattoo inspiration and little doodles you did when you were bored, they were a big part of you and maybe the image you wanted to create for yourself.

You took inspiration from everything, football, the environment, your father. Growing up many would say you were already a carbon copy of him but the tattoos were the icing on the cake. Your mother may not have been as happy about them but they promised to accept all your passions and that included turning up every few months with a new collection of tattoos to show off.

…..

“Maria, is she copying you?”

“You’ll have to ask her. No of course not, I would say we take great inspiration from each other. We’ve got a few matching ones, I’ve done a few on her and she’s done the same to me. That’s kind of what started our friendship.”

“You both have ‘looks can be deceiving’ on your necks, is that true for her?”

“Depends on what you think of her. Maybe some find her scary but you have to find out if that’s true yourself.”

…..

You could hear someone approaching you, watching as you took the next kick nestling it into the bottom corner underneath the imaginary wall.

“Y/N, have you got five minutes?” The unmistakable voice of Sarina. Many people would love Serena Weigman to turn up at their training session, not you. Not now.

Shit. You almost didn’t want to turn around. Maybe if you stayed facing the other way she would leave. Leave you be in the bubble you’d created for yourself, nothing good could come out of this conversation.

But of course the Dutch woman wasn’t going to leave that easily, edging closer to you. “I only want to talk.”

“I gave you my answer a year ago.”

“Lots can change in a year. Five minutes. If you still want me to leave after, I’ll leave.”

Maybe it was worth hearing what she had to say. Nothing could change your mind anyway, you’d hear whatever she had to say and then she could leave.

You knew what she was here for and it didn’t surprise you what came out of her mouth next. “I want you back, I name my squad next week and I want you ready to play for us at the World Cup.”

“And I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“The fans are not that accepting, the players don’t deserve to be drawn into that drama because of me.”

“There’s always drama in football.” Maybe she had a point but off the back of the Euro’s success the lionesses have had nothing but positivity from the media and public. “We’ve lost Beth, we’ve lost Fran and I think the players would welcome your experience in that position. It’s your decision but I know deep down you want to prove people wrong and I want to give you that opportunity.”

“Some would say I don’t deserve that.”

“It will be different this time.”

“How?”

“It’s been four years, everything’s changed. We protect you guys, you have support systems in place, we have support systems. It’s not individuals anymore, it’s a team.”

“I made that decision to protect myself.” Almost four years ago you’d sent that letter, asking not to be selected for international duty again. They had no choice but to accept it and when Serena came into the role she approached you but you told her a tournament on home soil was not something you could mentally cope with. Not yet. “Why would now be different?”

“I’ve watched every game you’ve played in the last 18 months. I know you may not see a difference in yourself but I do, the interview after you lost to Lyon showed your spirit, your drive. I need players like you, it won’t be easy but I don’t want something that happened four years ago to stop you showing the world how talented you are.”

You were conflicted. Of course you’d love nothing more than to prove all those who bashed you before wrong, to make a difference on the world stage after winning every trophy you could with Barcelona. On the other hand it was just opening a can of worms you’d hidden all those years ago. Although you were only in Spain it felt like a different world, you turned your comments off on social media and they never came back on. Interviews were a no-go and your former friends were now distant acquaintances.

“Can I think about?”

“Of course you can. Like I said, the squad goes out on Tuesday so I need an answer by Monday. Any questions, I’m coming to the match on Sunday, maybe I can speak to you after?”

“Thank you.” With a soft squeeze to your shoulder she was off, except now you couldn’t focus knowing you were about to make a decision which would change everything.

…..

“You seem distracted.”

In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best idea to accept the dinner invite from Maria and Ingrid but you knew your best friends wouldn’t take no for an answer. The three of you along with Frido were sat at their dinner table, tucking into the tapas you’d ordered from your favourite restaurant and it wasn’t lost on any of them how your mind was elsewhere. Casually picking through your food was a total opposite to the way you usually devoured this.

“Y/N?”

You’d been debating on the way whether to speak to someone about it.

Maybe your dad? He’d gone through something similar but he was in Miami and would only just be getting up.

Your mum? She was the most rational option but she would never understand that pride of pulling on your national shirt.

Your therapist seemed the best option but the earliest session she had for non-emergencies was tomorrow.

“Y/N!” In your own little world you’d even forgot to answer their questions. “Are you alright?”

It could help speaking to them, couldn’t it? “I had a visitor after training. Sarina Weigman.”

“Shit man, I thought you said no.” Maria Leon was your best friend from the moment you stepped foot in that training room, you bonded over everything from tattoos to food. You’d been her wingman in getting with Ingrid and had a mutual understanding of each other’s situations with your respective national teams even if the circumstances were very different.

“She wants me back but I don’t know, this feels different from last year.” If Bonnie, your 5-year-old beagle, adopted 3 years ago to signify a new chapter in your life, wasn’t by your feet they would definitely be anxiously tapping the floor right now.

“They probably feel your absence more because they’ve lost other players.” Frido added some context. “Not that you wouldn’t have always walked into that team but now you definitely would. You’d be their main player.”

“I can see you’re considering it.” Ingrid pointed out. “When she came last year I could see you were like, definitely no, now you haven’t turned it down immediately.”

“There’s no right or way wrong to feel,” Maria tried to comfort me. “Only you can decide if you want to go back there.”

“I miss it.”

“Of course you do.” Ingrid agreed. “You wouldn’t watch all their games if you didn’t.”

“It’s just the fact that I’m comfortable here, I have been for so long and now I’m going to throw myself back into four years ago.” Four years ago when you’d been forced to move away from your club at the time in Chelsea and accept the fact that one mistake had changed everything. “Plus the media attention, no-one wants that in the lead up to the world cup.”

“They were your friends, I’m sure they’d understand.” Frido tried to make you see that side of things. “Shit happens in football but what happened to you when completely over the top of that.”

“I isolated them.” Of course you had friends in the squad at the time, in fact best friends. But as soon as you made the move to America you slowly distanced yourself from them as they did to you. You hated letting them down and completely understood that being associated to you meant unnecessary exposure where perhaps they would not want it.

“So you’ll make friends again.”

You’d changed as well, grown into a completely different person in that time. Your appearance and attitude on the pitch were a distinct opposite to the crippling shyness you had yet to shake off. “Maybe.”

“You will,” Maria assured you. “Plus I think Bonnie told me she wanted a sleepover with me.”

“Oh did she?”

“I’m not swaying you either way but if that’s what you want, I’ll support you all the way.”

“We all will.” Frido added wrapping her arms around you to bring you into her side. “We love you.”

“Thank you, I love you all too.”

“Speak to your dad, maybe even your mum. I’m sure they’d want to help.”

One of the funniest moments in your life had to be watching your teammates introduce themselves to your parents when they came out to watch your first match in the Blaugrana. Watching their nerves dissipate when they realised how down to earth, especially your mother was, when it came to their children. Of course their name brought so much extra attention to you but you couldn’t have asked for a better upbringing.

Maybe it was their words that made you do it but subconsciously you knew the best thing to do was to ring them. So as you got into bed that night, once you got back, Bonnie at your feet watching, you rang the number you’d had memorised for years.

“Hi baby.” His voice almost brought tears to your eyes. Although you tried to be as independent as possible, wanting to be your own person, you sometimes wished you could just go back to spending every night in his arms.

“Hi dad.”

“What’s wrong?” You hated how easily he could read you, how those two words were enough for him to know something was wrong.

“It’s nothing.”

“You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know dad.” Out with it. “Sarina Weigman came to visit me today, she wants me to go and join them in the next international break.”

“And what do you want?”

“I think I want to.”

“You think?”

“I just know that if I do I’m just going to be brought back to that moment.”

“Then you’ll go back to a moment where the referees made a terrible decision. Football fans are fickle you know that as much as I do but you’ve watched it back enough to know that nine times out of ten nothing happens. The commentator did you no favours, Phil didn’t stand by you as he should have and the media hung you out to dry.”

“I know.”

“But as awful as it was it made you the person you are today and your stronger now then you’ve ever been before. If you want to go back then you’ll make it work. I know you will.”

“Thanks dad, now how is…”

,,,,,

“How many times have you watched that tackle back?”

“Over a thousand times.”

“Do you think you should have been sent off?”

“Of course not.”

……

You loved Barcelona, from the moment you stepped through those doors 3 years ago you’d been welcomed in and never looked back. In 2019 you moved to America but your year out there was plagued with depression and homesickness resulting in a lack of game time, when Barcelona came calling it was a difficult decision with your family ties but they had a project, they had a good set up and you knew the onus wouldn’t just be on you. The first six months were still tough, working out Spanish football to both play with your teammates and counter the opposition but by the end of the season you felt at home for the first time in 2 years.

Your role this year had been heightened by the loss of one of your midfield partners in Alexia, but you were adaptable and that’s probably how you found yourself 4-0 up, having just scored a second goal in the second half.

“It’s almost like you’re trying to impress someone.” Mapi whispered giving you a half hug as you walked back into your own half.

“Shut up.”

“I bet she’s panicking that you might turn it down now.”

“She’s got other players Maria.”

“But none of them are you.”

The match stayed at 4-0, some of the youngsters coming on to see the game out.

You’d never been in a team like this, of course you had little arguments and there were small groups within the team, but everyone worked so hard for each other. And with that came the protectiveness, when you joined you were only 21, now 24 and the older ones took you under their wings. You’d been daunted a lot at the fact of playing fellow English players in the Champions League but they’d been your shield for those moments.

It blew your mind when the younger age groups joined you and they speak about that moment. Most of them staying up late to watch it making you feel old. But that meant they came to you for advice a lot of the time. Maybe this time though it was time to get advice from them.

“Hey little one.” Maria Perez was the first one you spotted in the changing room. “You played really well today.”

“Thank you.”

“How are you feeling about being called up?” It was only yesterday that the Spanish squad had been leaked and she was once again in it.

“Excited, another opportunity to prove myself.”

��I like that you see it that way.”

“Everyone should, it’s no different to playing here, as long as you be yourself you can never be disappointed.”

…….

@jillsmithjournalist: Serena Weigman is present at the Barcelona match. No current England players are playing however star player Y/N Beckham scored twice. Beckham has not played for England since she withdrew from selection in August 2019 amid public backlash and a rumoured feud with England manager Phil Neville. Could a return be on the cards?

@newlionesses_x: Surely she can’t just pick and choose when to come back.

@wslfan: Fine without her last year

@england123: Liability for England

@barcelonafan: All you hating on Beckham are crazy, one of the best players in the world and you don’t want her back because of something that happened 4 years ago, grow up. Could tell she struggled when she joined us but this past year she’s been exceptional, people change, mistakes happen (even though she should never have been sent off in the first place)

…..

You’ve known your decision for a long time but you still delayed giving it as long as possible before you could wait no longer. You could see she was the only one left in the hospitality area as you entered, the table she had chose overlooking the pitch you’d just performed on.

This was what you wanted and now it felt only right to give yourself that opportunity again.

“I’ll do it.”

#woso imagine #woso #woso x reader #woso imagines #barcelona femeni #lionesses #engwnt #david beckham #beckham #football

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lovecanyon · 1 year

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dad!harry’s coachella interview blurb!!!!

DAD!HARRY’S COACHELLA INTERVIEW

“Harry, I recently found out you have two children. So to begin with I brought you a record of lullabies that were recorded by Stevie Nicks!”

Harry smiles as he gets handed the record. He couldn’t wait to show Y/N this.

“Thank you so much.” Harry beams. “My fiancé is going to love this record so much.” He waves the vinyl that had Stevie Nicks’ name plastered on the cover. He felt jittery about telling his future wife about it.

The interviewer laughs as he watches Harry look down at the record.

“You really love her huh.”

“I really do!” Harry says, biting his lip trying to suppress a smile but he fails once his lips curl into a grin. He really did love her a lot.

“Since you love your fiancé so much I have here this shirt that says I love Y/N.” The interviewer unfolds a white shirt revealing Y/N’s name printed onto the fabric. What really made the t-shirt was a photo of Y/N and Harry fitted to be a heart.

Harry lets out a breathy laugh as he stares at the shirt. He completely loved it.

“Can I wear it now?” Harry questions grabbing onto the fabric. He really wanted to tear off the shirt he was wearing and put on the I love Y/N shirt.

“You know what, I would love that!”

Almost instantly Harry peels off the yellow shirt he was wearing and replaces it with his new one—his new favorite.

Quickly fixing his green necklace, Harry swipes down the wrinkled fabric.

“I’m never talking this off.” The musician smiles. He truly was never going to take the shirt off.

“I can tell. Your face lit up so much once you saw it.”

“I just want to ask you about the bracelet you're wearing. Who made it?” The interviewer points down at the colorful beaded bracelet on Harry’s wrist.

A smile forms on Harry’s lips as he glances at the brightly colored beads. The story of how he got the bracelet was one of his favorite moments ever.

A squeaky voice calling Harry makes him turn around to find his son. He was wearing one of his shirts which was so baggy on him that it almost touched the ground.

Standing up from his crouched position, Harry catches the tiny body that slams into him.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

Beau jumps up and down in Harry’s hold which makes him laugh. He wanted to know why his bunny was so excited.

“What’s up B?” Harry beams, making the three year old shove something into his grip. Looking down at his hand he finds a beaded bracelet. “Is this for me!?” The father playfully gasps.

“Yes I made it with mama!” Beau smiles, feeling proud of the bracelet he made for his father.

Analyzing the colorful beads, Harry finds his name misspelled with only one R, so it’s spelled ‘Hary’. His name not being spelled correctly made it even more special to him.

“I love it. I’m never taking it off.”

Harry grins thinking about one of his favorite memories. He had the best children ever.

“My son actually made it for me.” He answers the interviewer which makes him widen his eyes enthusiastically.

“Your son?! That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“My name not being spelled right makes it more special to me.” Harry breathes out a laugh. He always wore the bracelet that misspelled his name, to shows, events, red carpets and even on movie sets. Wherever he was, the beads were on his wrist giving him good luck.

It never left him.

“I heard your little Inez is a David Bowie fan.”

Still wearing the I love Y/N shirt, Harry giggles as he nods his head. Inez was the number one Bowie fan. She loved every album of his since Harry had played them over and over.

“She is, all she listens to is Bowie!” The singer grins. “Since she was in her mum’s belly.”

“Since she’s the biggest David Bowie fan, I would like to give her this vintage Ziggy Stardust onesie.” Nardwuar hands Harry the kids size shirt.

Harry lets out a chuckle as he unfolds the small onesie to reveal David Bowie’s character Ziggy, Inez’s favorite. He knew once his daughter saw this a gummy smile would grow on her face.

“Inez is going to love this. I can see her face already.” Harry predicts little Nez’s reaction.

“I also have this David Bowie plushie for her!”

Harry loved it.

“This is so cute. I just know she’s going to be obsessed with this. Thank you so much.” Harry smiles at the interviewer feeling thankful.

“It’s not a problem, I know how much you love your family so I brought gifts for all of them.”

Being a headliner for Coachella was something Harry had never expected. He didn’t even expect all the fame after the band broke up, yet here he was getting interviewed about his solo career and even better his new family life.

It was an amazing feeling.

“So you’re going to perform at Coachella again this weekend?”

“Yes, weekend two.” Harry nods. He performed at the festival for the first time last week and it couldn’t have gone any better.

After the performance he drove his family back to their rented Palm Springs house, cooked his favorite pasta for them and had a dance party with his two troublemakers.

Even though it was 11 PM both of the Styles children were up on their feet instead of in their beds sleeping, Inez who barely started walking was attempting to jump up and down like her father and brother but just ended up flat on her bum.

Almost instantly, Harry swoops up Inez in his arms and continues to dance with Beau. Ironically the music that they were dancing to was Harry’s new album that hadn’t been released yet.

Harry’s House was Y/N’s favorite album so far. She loved watching her lovies dance around to the songs that were written about her.

And that’s exactly what she was planning to do.

Holding one of her disposable film cameras, Y/N snaps a few shots of Harry jumping around with their kids.

It's 'cause I love you, babe

In every kind of way

Just a little taste

Know I love you, babe

Music for a Sushi Restaurant was one of Y/N’s favorites. She vividly remembers the day he wrote it, it was one of the best days they ever had together.

“Mama come and join us!”

Beau’s voice made her put down the camera and rush over to her dancing family. Catching Harry looking at her made a smile grow on her face. She loved him so much.

“How was it?”

“It was one of the most exciting weekends I’ve ever had.” Harry beams.

tag list: @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ivegotparticulartaste @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @academiaghosts @japanchrry @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @seguin-styles1996 @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @kaitieskidmore1 @cherryfragrancx @ssuziess @milkiane @golden-hoax @flwrmuse @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @iluvjj @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @stellarossii @scenesofobx @manifestrry @lomlolivia

#harry styles x reader #dad!harry #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles writing #husband!harry #harry styles one shot #harry styles fan fic #dilf!harry #harry styles blurb

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londonspirit · 6 months

Text

Was there ever any doubt that Our Flag Means Death Season 2 wouldn't end in thrilling fashion after taking all of us on a rollercoaster of emotions? Probably not, but show creator David Jenkins and writer John Mahone, who teamed up on the script for the finale episode, seemed distinctly driven to squeeze as many tears out of us watching as possible. With the dynamic between Stede (Rhys Darby) and Ed (Taika Waititi) seemingly fractured as of the season's penultimate installment, it was unclear how — or if — the two men might eventually reconcile, but a new threat to the Republic of Pirates, alongside Ed's realization that maybe he isn't meant to be a fisherman after all, sends the two back into each other's arms, literally.

While some characters are afforded something resembling a happy ending, with Stede and Ed deciding to try their hand at being innkeepers as they watch the Revenge sail off into the sunset under Frenchie's (Joel Fry) command, not every single crew member emerges from the finale battle unscathed, chief among them Ed's first mate and formerly ruthless right-hand Izzy Hands (Con O'Neill), whose parting words to Ed may be the very thing that the former Blackbeard needs to hear in order to fully come to terms with accepting the man inside him all along.

Ahead of the Season 2 finale premiering on Max, Collider had the opportunity to reconnect with Jenkins to discuss some of the episode's biggest moments. Over the course of the interview, which you can read below, Jenkins explains why Izzy's speech is both a eulogy for the character and a statement about the show itself, how the Season 2 premiere and finale bookend each other with those beach scenes, and why he wanted to use that Nina Simone needle drop in particular. He also discusses why the season concludes with a wedding at sea, what the finale sets up for Season 3, and more.

COLLIDER: I feel like my first question, in a completely non-serious way, is: how dare you, and my immediate follow-up is: what gives you the right?

DAVID JENKINS: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Also, I am God to these creatures! But it was hard. It was a hard decision.

The episode kicks off with a somewhat more lighthearted moment, which is Ed realizing he's not cut out for the fishing life after all. On the heels of Stede and Ed’s big fight in the episode prior, why did it feel important to have Ed humorously have the revelation of, “This isn't what I really want after all?”

JENKINS: Well, I like the idea that Season 1 is about Stede’s midlife crisis, and Season 2 is about Ed's midlife crisis. I like that he had a little prima donna moment where he thought he could go and be a simple man, and then it's revealed that he really isn't a simple man; he’s a complicated, fussy, moody guy. No, he's not gonna be able to catch fish for a living. For him to be told that, “At your heart, you're a pirate. You have to go back and do it,” he doesn't want that to be true, but it was true.

Speaking of characters that have a revelation about themselves, Izzy's speech about piracy, about belonging to something and finding family, feels like the thesis statement of this show. Was that the intention behind it?

JENKINS: When I wrote that, I wanted to give Izzy a proper eulogy for himself. He gives a eulogy for himself, but it felt true writing it. Yeah, this is how he sees piracy, and also that's not how he would have viewed piracy in the first season. He would have viewed it as, “I'm here to dominate you, so you work for the boss.” By the end of his journey in the second season, he sees that they built him a unicorn leg, he learned to whittle, and he mentored Stede. He's learned that, actually, a pirate crew works differently than what he thought and that they are all in it together, and they do this for each other. So it felt right for Izzy’s arc, and it is kind of an overall statement about the show.

It's interesting that you call it a eulogy, because, by the time we get to the scene where we know Izzy's not going to make it, it feels like he's using his last moments for Ed more than himself. He has those final words to Ed of, “They love you for who you are. Just be Ed.” Is that the kind of the thing that Ed needs to hear in the moment — even as he's losing, arguably, someone he's known even longer than Stede and is just as close to on an emotional level?

JENKINS: Well, I like that Izzy gives that to him, and then Izzy also apologizes to him because he says that he fed his darkness and that they were both Blackbeard together — that Blackbeard wasn't just Ed, that they did it together. In a way, it's very much for Ed, that speech. The “we were Blackbeard” is claiming that he is also Blackbeard, that Blackbeard is not just Ed’s creation, and I like that for him, too, because he's worked so hard for that — and then just to say, “You can give it up.” There can never be a Blackbeard again as far as Izzy’s concerned because he's dying, and they did that together.

I wanted to ask you about the Stede/Ed reunion. We get Ed finding Stede's love letter that was written all the way at the beginning, and then also the beach fight/reunion. It's definitely a callback to the dream, but was that always the way that you wanted to bookend the season? Here's the dream and the fantasy, and then this is the real moment that we get to have?

JENKINS: It was nice. I knew that I wanted to have the Republic of Pirates at the beginning and end up with the Republic of Pirates. I think the reunion of it was a nice surprise, but it felt right. And finding the letter in a bottle — if you have a letter in a bottle, it's thrown out somewhere, it has to pop up somewhere, you have to see one of them at some point. But yeah, there's a circular nature to it, and that's why I thought it would be good to use Nina Simone at the beginning and at the end as a callback. This dream in this way did come true, and they made it come true.

When I talked to you at the beginning of the season, you mentioned the Nina Simone needle drop, but couldn't say anything about the significance of it at the time. I talked to [music supervisor] Maggie [Phillips], as well, about the needle drops throughout Season 2, and she said you always had a very clear vision for what song you wanted there. A lot of people know the original, but why did you pick Nina's cover? It strikes a different tone; there's a hopefulness to it in a lot of ways.

JENKINS: Yeah, it's wistful. There's a lovely part that sounds like church bells, which is great for the wedding part of it, and then it's just moving. I love her interpretation of it. It’s wistful, positive, and it felt like the end of the show to me. There's a size to it that, up against these images, I just was like, "Yeah, this would be really good. I want this to be in the show."

I did want to ask you about the wedding because on the heels of Izzy's death, it's bittersweet, but also, it's a sign this crew has become a family, and they can still find happy moments and reasons to celebrate. We’ve seen Black Pete and Lucius reconnect, but also reconcile and navigate through Lucius's problems and have their own, almost parallel trajectory journey as a couple alongside Stede and Ed in a way. Was that something that you always wanted to close the season on, the two of them getting hitched?

JENKINS: Yeah. We knew we wanted a matelotage in the season, which is the real term they had for marrying crew members. And yeah, they've always been in relief to Stede and Ed, and they're a little bit ahead of Stede and Ed in how much they can talk about things. So to have a bunch of family things in the season, like a funeral and a wedding, and have the parents kind of watch the kids sail away, felt right, and all of those things seem to work well together and build on each other.

Speaking of Ed and Stede watching everybody sail off, that was an outcome that was somewhat surprising, I think because where they are, you think maybe they're going to end up sailing off with everybody else.” But no, instead, it's just this sweet, lovely note of them getting to play house for a little while. What inspired that turn for them?

JENKINS: I think that they've come to the point in the relationship where they say, “Yeah, we're gonna give this a try,” and that's where the story really gets interesting. That will-they-or-won't-they is interesting to a point, but the real meat of it is always like, “Can they make the relationship, and can they do better than Anne and Mary?” That's the question that we all ask ourselves when we end up in a serious relationship is: can we make this work, and can we get through the hard times? Then they're both very damaged, and it's gonna be a challenge for them, and that's where the story gets interesting.

I'm not sure you can really tease much for a Season 3, but we talked before about how you have your vision for where you want to take this, and based on what we see at the end of Season 2, the implication is that we're going to have Stede and Ed off together, but is the plan to also continue with the other characters as well in their own places?

JENKINS: Yeah. Frenchie’s in charge of the Revenge, and I think Frenchie's Revenge would be an interesting place to work and an interesting ship to be raided by. Then I think that the Revenge means a lot to Stede, and it would be very hard for him to give it up, and he hasn't had a great track record of that. So I think the odds of them all finding each other again are quite high.

All episodes of Our Flag Means Death Season 2 are available to stream on Max.

#our flag means death season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #spoiler #our flag means death #ofmd #david jenkins #interview #collider article

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alwaysonthemend · 10 months

Text

Author’s Note: Coming to ya’ll once again with yet another Jake fic that’s just self-indulgent smut. Inspired by the lovely (read: horny) conversations that I had with my Jake lane besties yesterday. Blame them, not me. This fic is also inspired by the Gibson TV interview that Jake did a while ago because of this post from @indigofallingsky

If you haven't seen the interview, you can watch it here.

Content Warnings: Swearing, jake being a huge flirt, oral (f receiving), fingering, spanking, choking, p in v sex, unprotected sex (ik it's bad I just have a problem), squirting, softdom jakey, semi public sex, sir kink, lil bit of spit play maybe? and a shit ton of dirty talk. 18+ MINORS DNI

Word Count: 5293

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You’re nervous, to say the least. And more than that, you’re frustrated because you’re so nervous. Being a photographer, it’s literally your job to be around famous people – and you pride yourself on never getting starstruck or anxious. You’d discovered quickly that most of the celebrities you interacted with were assholes anyway, and the few that weren’t assholes had either been boring or just plain weird. You’d stopped giving a damn years ago.

But now, as you stood there waiting to introduce yourself to the man you would be photographing, you couldn’t stop the butterflies that erupted in your stomach as you watched him. You’d heard of him and his band before. You loved their music and you’d even been thinking of buying tickets to one of their upcoming shows if you could manage to get the time off from work. You knew what he looked like, but nothing could have prepared you for actually seeing him in person. He was gorgeous – sinfully so. You couldn’t help but stare as he walked around the room, introducing himself to everyone that he would be working with for his interview.

The first thing you noticed was his hair; it was messy but beautiful, like someone had run their fingers through it haphazardly before he showed up. It was a gorgeous brown – almost copper when the light reflected on it. It looked especially gorgeous in contrast against his navy blue suit. And Jesus, did that suit fit him so well. He wasn’t a very tall man, but his entire body looked strong – solid. His thighs filled out those suit pants in a way that should be illegal. And his face… you could stare at it for hours. Plush lips, a perfect set of white teeth, and brown eyes that reminded you of bourbon. And of course he would be a fucking guitarist.

When he finally made it to you, you had to fight to keep your voice steady and your eyes on his.

“I’m Jake.” He said, giving you a dazzling smile as he extended his hand towards yours to shake. You took it, praying that he didn’t feel the slight tremor in them.

“I’m Y/n. I’m going to be your photographer today.”

“Hi, Y/n. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The sound of your name from his mouth made your knees weak and you mentally rolled your eyes at yourself. “ Do you work for Gibson?”

You nodded.

“Yep! Have for a few years now. All I’m going to be doing today is taking a few candid shots of you while you play and then we’ll do some actual posed shots afterwards” You gave him your best attempt at a professional smile.

“Well, I’m lucky to have such a gorgeous woman taking my picture.”

Your jaw dropped as he walked away from you, calm and collected after saying such a thing to you. Your eyes followed his retreating form as he went to take a seat on the little stool in front of the camera. He turned over his shoulder and locked eyes with you. He winked and you could feel the blush as it overtook your face. You dropped his gaze quickly.

You took a seat on another stool by the wall. You wanted to listen to him before you took him over to take pictures.

“Whenever you're ready, Mr. Kiszka. I’ll be asking you questions, but we’ll cut me from the final so it will be just you speaking.” The director, David, explained to him. “Let’s start with your full name.”

“Full name?” Jake asked him, a half smile painting his pretty lips. “How long do you want me to-” he chuckled. “Jacob Thomas Kiszka, sir.”

His eyes locked on yours as he said the word, and your lips parted yet again as he pinned you with his gaze.

“I don’t know.” He laughed, eyes snapping back to the camera. You glanced around to see that no one else seemed to have noticed him looking at you. You let out a shaky breath, your nerves completely unraveling the longer you were in his presence. Get a grip, y/n.

“And tell us what you play.” David asked, and you watched on the little monitor as the second camera angle zoomed out for a wider shot.

“I play guitar for the band Greta Van Fleet.” He answered, and you marveled at the smooth sound of his voice. David continued to ask him questions and you couldn’t help but be impressed – Jake was clearly a master of his craft, and yet he didn’t come across as egotistical or too self-assured. His talent spoke for itself and your heart raced at the quiet confidence that the man exuded. He was a gorgeous balance of confidence and professionalism.

Every so often though, Jake’s eyes would sweep to find you. They’d linger on you for only a moment, before finding the camera again. Each glance was so fleeting you almost felt like you were imagining it – wishful thinking, and all that. But it kept happening; enough for you to believe that it had to be on purpose. You bit your lip, trying your best to remain focused on the job at hand and to stop the blush that seemed to have taken up permanent residence on your face.

Once David had asked all of his questions, he asked Jake to actually play his beautiful red Les Paul. Jake rose from his seat and strode quickly towards where his amps had been set up. He breezed by you, giving you another pointed stare from the corner of his eye. This time, you stared back – meeting the challenge in his eyes. He smirked.

You watched him as he plugged in his guitar and strummed the strings once, checking their sound. He turned a few knobs on his instrument before strumming the strings again, this time seemingly satisfied.

“Anything in particular you want me to play?” He asked, directing his gaze towards David.

“Nope. Just whatever you would like to, really.”

Jake nodded once before beginning to play. The sound he coaxed from the instrument was beautiful, each note crisp and clean and oozing with sex appeal. His quiet demeanor melted away to reveal a man who was a master at what he was doing. You stared as his fingers danced across the strings and frets, effortlessly quick as he played. His face was focused, lost in his own world.

Your cheeks blazed as you felt wetness seep into your panties as you watched him. Your breathing picked up and you felt as if your heart was going to beat out of your chest as you watched toss his head back and close his eyes. You could only stare as he rocked his hips into his guitar in time to the beat of the song he was playing. You’d never been this affected by anyone in your entire life.

Your core ached and you clenched your thighs together. Jake’s gaze shifted to meet yours at the movement, and his eyes practically sparkled as his eyes drank in your form. There was no hiding your arousal from him. You trained your eyes on your shoes, unwilling to meet his eyes. He tore his stare away from you and retreated back into guitar world. All you could do was sit there in agony as your lust for him grew by the second.

Finally, he finished and David walked over to him and clapped him on the back.

“That was great, Mr. Kiskza. Excellent.”

“Thank you, sir.” Jake smiled, unplugging his guitar from the amp.

“I’ll be turning you over to our photographer now, Mr. Kiszka. She’ll take good care of you.”

You wanted to shrivel up and die as David said the words but you just plastered your work smile onto your face and rose from your seat.

“Right this way, Mr. Kiszka.”

You led him into the little photo room off to the side of the main studio. It was a small space – adorned only with a backdrop on one side of the room and your equipment on the other side. One singular wooden stool had been placed in front of the backdrop. You walked over to the lights and switched them on.

“Just have a seat right there.” You told him and he complied without a word. You positioned yourself across from him, camera in hand. You peered through the lens, adjusting the viewfinder and fiddling with the settings until you found what you liked.

“Alright, Mr. Kiszka. Let’s just start with you playing for a bit.”

“Yes ma’am.” You prided yourself for only letting your eyes widen for a brief moment before you schooled your expression.

He began to play a soft tune and you walked around towards the left side of him, snapping shots as he played. The lights behind him from that angle created almost a halo around his head and brought out the red in his hair.

“Good. That looks good. You can stop playing now.” You walked back in front of him. This was easy – slipping into work mode in order to distract yourself from the sinful thoughts that had been plaguing your mind since he walked in. “Now look up to your left for me.”

“Like this?” He asked, turning his head.

“Chin out a little bit for me.” He followed your direction.

“Good. Now turn your body towards the door.” He swiveled on the stool. “Cross your left leg over your right and hold the body of your guitar in your lap.” He situated himself just as you explained. “Perfect. Now turn your head slightly to look at me."

The look he gave you was domination incarnate, his eyebrow raised just slightly, his eyes holding a challenge in them, and his plush lips just barely parted. You swallowed thickly as you took the picture.

“O-okay, now legs apart for me. Right hand in your lap. Hold the guitar in your left.”

“How do you want me to hold it?” He asked, giving you a smirk. You bit your lip.

“Prop it against your thigh.”

He furrowed his brows at you. You sighed and walked over to him. You nudged one of his feet out further with your own and you did your best to ignore the way the muscles of his thighs strained against the fabric of his pants. You ignored his stare as you walked around him, assessing the position. Slowly, you placed your hands on his shoulders, turning his torso to face the opposite wall. You could feel the warmth of him through his suit.

“May I?” You asked him, gesturing towards where he was holding his guitar.

“You may.” His voice was pitched lower, husky and smooth as whiskey.

You reached out and carefully took hold of his guitar, situating it so that it rested against his thigh at an angle.

“Take your left hand and hold right at the base” Your cheeks flamed as you realized the way your words sounded – the double meaning not lost on him either. He gave you a shit eating grin.

“You're good at this.” He said, voice nearly a whisper and dripping with… something, you just weren’t sure what.

You huffed a breath as he rested his hand against the body of the guitar, right where you’d told him to. Mustering all the confidence you had, you met his stare. “Thank you. Sir.” The grin that overtook his face was downright sinful but you ignored it as you walked back over to the center of the room to take the shot. “Look at me.”

“Last one. Would you mind setting the stool off to the side for me?”

“Of course.” He said, voice saccharine and eyes glittering. He placed the stool by the wall.

“I want you to face that way.” You jerked your head towards the right. “Hold it in your right hand, down by your side.”

He complied.

“This good?”

You cocked your head to the side, eyeing his position.

“Step your left leg forward just a bit.” That looked better. “Now look to your right, over my shoulder. Chin up. Perfect."

You released a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding as you snapped the final picture.

“Alright, I think I’m finished here. Thank you, Mr. Kiszka. You’re free to go.” You hated the feeling of disappointment that took place in your gut.

“Shame. I was enjoying myself.”

“You like posing all pretty for pictures?”

“You think I’m pretty?”

Neither of you moved for a long moment. It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop and your breathing was embarrassingly heavy. Every line in his body was drawn tight, like he was ready to spring into action at any given moment. The look in his eye was dangerous – threatening even.

Finally daring to break the spell, you turned around and switched the camera off.

“It was a pleasure working with you, sir.”

He simply hummed and exited the room quickly, not even glancing back once.

You released the tension that you’d been holding in your shoulders and let out a shaky breath. You could hear him in the other room saying thank yous and goodbyes, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go back out there. As much as you wanted him, you couldn’t put your job at risk like that… and anyways, the longer you thought about it, the more you became convinced that he had just been messing with you – harmless flirting since he’d obviously caught on to your attraction to him. You shook your head at yourself and cringed – you couldn’t believe you’d been as forward as you had with him. Sure, he’d most definitely started it, but you’d allowed your self control to fly out the window. Damn you, Jake Kiszka, you thought as you began to pack up the equipment.

Once you were finished, you grabbed your purse and headed for the door. There were still several people there, milling about as you passed through. David was off in the corner, speaking to one of the sound guys.

“Am I done for the day, David?” You called to him, stopping just by the door.

“I release you from your duties.” He said, giving you a kind smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” You waved and exited the filming room.

You’d made it almost to the end of the hallway when you heard someone clear their throat. You spun around quickly, startled at the noise.

“Woah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” You knew that damn voice. Jake emerged from one of the doorways, a grin on his face – the same one he’d been giving you all afternoon.

“What are you still doing here?” You asked him, clutching your purse tighter to your chest. He had taken off his suit jacket, leaving him in nothing but a black button down. He’d untucked it and unbuttoned all of the buttons except for a few at the bottom. His necklace glittered where it rested against the tan skin of his chest. His guitar case was nowhere to be seen.

“Waiting for you.” He said simply, shrugging his shoulders.

“Me?” You couldn’t help but ask, suddenly afraid – despite the fact that he’d been openly flirting with you for the better part of two hours.

“Forgive me for assuming,” he said as he stepped towards you, caging you into the wall with his body, “but I could see it all over you in there. You want me. I want you. Figured we could do something about it.”

You swallowed, brain working a mile a minute as you processed his words. There was no lie. You wanted him – and apparently he wanted you too. And doing something about it was sounding better and better by the second.

“What did you have in mind?” You finally asked, voice coming out far more confident than you felt.

“Oh, lots of things.” He said, voice low. “Been thinking about all the possibilities since the moment I saw you.”

“There’s a dressing room down the hall.” You said quietly, nodding your head in that direction. “Locks from the inside.”

“Oh?” He said, cocking his head to the side. “Can’t wait long enough to go somewhere else, huh?”

You flushed.

“No, sir.”

His eyes blazed at your words. Fast as lightning, his hand shot out to grip your bicep tightly and he all but dragged you down the hall. You pointed to the door to the dressing room and he ripped it open. You stumbled through the doorway, dropping your purse to the floor. He kicked the door shut and locked it and then he was on you – forearm pressed to your chest to back you into the wall. His face was inches from yours and you could feel his breath on you as he spoke.

“I’d like to kiss you now.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

He crushed his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, immediately plunging his tongue into your mouth. You submitted to him willingly, allowing him to lick into your mouth with no resistance. He tasted like cigarette smoke and somehow that turned you on even more, and you whimpered quietly into his mouth. His palms settled on your waist in a way that you could only describe as possessive, and he dug his fingers into your flesh as he kissed you. You threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled, earning a groan from him.

He pulled away, a string of spit connected your mouths as he drew back to look at you. You thought he looked gorgeous earlier, but that was nothing compared to how he looked now; his hair was messier and his cheeks were flushed, and his plush lips were swollen and slick with spit. He looked so fucking pretty.

“You taste just as good as I imagined.” He said darkly. “Wanna taste the rest of you.”

Without warning, he attached his lips to your neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin. He slotted his thigh between your legs and you moaned at the pressure. You rocked your hips forward on him, desperate for any type of friction on your throbbing pussy.

“Please, Jake.” You whined as he nipped at your ear.

He pulled away from you sharply.

“You call me Jacob or you call me sir, understood?”

You nodded.

“Words.” He urged, eyes ablaze with lust.

“Yes sir.”

“Good girl.”

He attached his lips to yours again, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth. He tapped your thigh, signaling for you to jump up. You did, wrapping your legs around his waist as he gripped your ass with both hands, walking the two of you over to the vanity in the corner. He placed you gently onto the counter.

“Can I taste you, sweet girl?” He asked, lowering himself down to kneel on the floor so that he was eye level with your dripping cunt.

“Yes, Jacob.” You whined.

You toed your heels off, allowing him to slide your skirt off of you, tossing it impatiently somewhere in the room. He nudged your knees apart, splaying his palms on your thighs to keep you steady. He eyed the wetness leaking through the cotton of your panties and chuckled.

“You’re fucking soaked. Look at you.” He said, nuzzling his nose against you and inhaling deeply.

“Please.” You begged, pussy throbbing with your need for him.

“Please what?”

“Please. Need you. Need your tongue.”

“Yeah?” He asked, giving you a grin. “Where do you need it?”

You whined and rocked your hips towards him.

“Jake-Jacob.” You corrected yourself. “Need your tongue on my clit. Please, sir.”

“Since you asked so nicely.” He looped two fingers into the waistband of your panties and pulled – effectively ripping the thin fabric. He wadded your ruined panties up and slipped them into his pocket.

“For safekeeping.” He said, before licking a stripe up your weeping center.

“Oh, fuck!” You yelled, threading your fingers through his hair. Your other hand gripped the edge of the counter as you threw your head back. He swirled his tongue around your swollen clit, suckling on it in a way that was almost too much. You cried out with each movement, his tongue playing you like that damn harmonica you'd seen him play on stage.

Without warning, he plunged his tongue into you, and he pressed his thumb to your clit. His other hand gripped your thigh, squeezing so tightly you were sure you would have bruises tomorrow.

“Gonna make you cum on my tongue, sweet girl. I want to taste it so bad.” He said into your heat, and you moaned loudly. He increased the speed of his thumb on your clit, and his tongue plunged in and out of you mercilessly, and it didn’t take long before you felt that familiar coil beginning to tighten in your belly.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” You mumbled out, legs beginning to tremble.

“Give it to me.”

It was like your body was waiting for his permission. No sooner had he spoken the words, your orgasm was tearing through you. Your entire body shook as you came, and you called out his name as he kept working you through it, prolonging your pleasure.

Jake rose from between your legs and you moaned at the sight of his face covered in your juices. He swiped a finger through your folds to collect your release and then wrapped his fingers around it, groaning at the taste of you.

“You taste sweeter than fucking candy.”

“Kiss me.” You demanded, and you were embarrassed at the blatant neediness in your voice, but it melted away quickly as he met your demand. You could feel him, hard as a rock in his pants. You reached up with shaky fingers and began to undo the buttons on his shirt. When they were all unbuttoned, you slid the shirt off his shoulders and your eyes wandered over the expanse of skin, tan and glistening with sweat.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” You whispered, sliding your palms across his chest and up to squeeze his broad shoulders.

“So are you, sweet girl. Slide back for me.”

You did as he asked, scooching back on the counter until your back pressed into the cold mirror of the vanity.

“Take off your top.” He said, voice suddenly hard and demanding.

You gripped the bottom of your shirt and pulled it off, revealing the lacey bra you had on underneath.

“Shit.” He said, eying your breasts through the fabric. He reached behind you to unclasp your bra, allowing your breasts to spill out for him to admire. Wordlessly, he wrapped his lips around your left nipple, biting at the hard nub. You moaned at the sensation.

“You like that? Like when I bite these pretty nipples.”

“Yes.” You cried, and he bit down harder – the sharp pain serving as a warning. “Yes sir.” You corrected, tossing your head back.

Suddenly, you felt one of his talented fingers slipping into you and you whined loudly.

“Jacob!”

“Yes, sweet girl?” He asked, but you had nothing to say in return. You opened your mouth to ask for more, but all that escaped you was a loud moan. He caressed your walls with his fingers, eyes affixed to your face as he watched you surrender to the pleasure.

“You look so pretty like this, y/n. All needy. Your cunt is dripping.”

“All for you.” You told him, toes curling in pleasure. He added another finger, curling them inside of you in the most delicious way.

“God, look at you.” He said, leaning on his free arm as the other fucked into you mercilessly. “Never seen a prettier sight.”

You whined, and the sound came out as almost a squeak. The pleasure was overwhelming, and you could feel yourself hurdling quickly into a second orgasm.

“Already?” He asked you, cockiness dripping from his words. You clenched around his fingers, his tone spurring you on even more. “My needy little girl gonna come again for me? So soon?”

“Yes, please sir, let me cum. Please!”

“That’s it, baby. You sound better than my guitar. Cum on my fingers. Come on.”

Your mouth dropped open into a perfect ‘o’ as you came again, this one even more powerful than the first.

“Shit! Fuck!”

“Careful, y/n. Don’t wanna be too loud. Someone might come in here, just to see your pretty cunt squeezing my fingers.”

You’d never been one for dirty talk, but Jake was making it work. Something about his smooth voice saying such filthy things was driving you wild.

“Jacob, I need you to fuck me. Right now.”

“Oh you do, huh? Little kitten desperate for my cock?”

All you could do was whine in answer, brain cloudy after two orgasms.

“Mmm. Wanna feel your pretty pussy wrapped around me.” He said, pulling his fingers from you with an obscene squelch. He took your hand in his and pressed it to the noticeable bulge in his pants. “See what you do to me? Jesus, I’ve never been so hard.”

“Fuck me. Need it so bad.”

“Patience baby.” He laughed. “Lemme get a condom. I’ve got one in my wallet.”

You grabbed his wrist in your hand tightly, stopping him from reaching into his pocket.

“I’m on birth control. And I’m clean. I want to feel you, sir. Please.”

“Fuck.” He said through gritted teeth, eyes so dark they looked black. “Dirty girl, aren’t you?”

You watched, mouth watering as he unbuttoned his pants. He slid them down so that they pooled around his ankles, and you moaned seeing that he didn’t have any underwear on.

His cock was big – bigger than you’d been expecting. The head was pink and weeping with precum where it curved upward to rest against his soft stomach. He was a sight to behold.

He brought his hand up to rest underneath your chin, fingers just barely grazing your skin.

"Spit."

You did as he commanded, allowing your saliva to drop from your mouth into his waiting palm. He groaned and wrapped his hand around his base, your spit mixing with his precum to make the perfect lubrication

“Can I taste you, sir?” You asked him, giving him your best doe eyes.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” he said, one hand pumping himself slowly as the other caressed your jaw. “As much as I’d love that, I wouldn’t last if you did. And I wanna cum in your sweet cunt.”

“Next time?” The question slipped out without thought and your eyes widened at the implication.

Jake smiled, wide and dazzling.

“Next time, baby.”

He pumped himself a few more times, using his thumb to smear his precum over his head. Finally, he nudged the blunt head of his cock through your folds, gathering your wetness.

“You ready for my cock, baby girl? Ready for me to split you open?”

“God, yes. Please.”

He gripped your hips in his strong hands and pulled you to the edge of the counter, allowing for your feet to touch the floor.

“Turn around and bend over, y/n. I want you to watch in the mirror while I fuck you.”

You moaned and did as he asked, pressing your ass back into him as you bent over the counter. You rested your forearms on the counter, and watched in the mirror as Jake slipped into you. Your pussy throbbed as you watched his mouth fall open – his brows clenched together and a breathy moan fell from his lips. The stretch of him was overwhelming as he pressed into you, slowly sinking into the hilt. He groaned in your ear as he finally bottomed out and you dropped your head back towards him. He pressed wet kisses to your neck as he stilled, allowing you time to adjust to his size.

“Jesus, you’re so tight wrapped around me. Smooth as fucking velvet.” He said, lips brushing the shell of your ear.

“Move, Jakey. Please move.”

“‘Jakey,’ huh?” He chuckled, beginning to slowly rock his hips into you. “I like that.”

He quickened his pace, pistoning in and out of you. You watched in the mirror as his face fell slack with pleasure and sweat dripped down his temples and neck. You pushed back into him with each thrust, desperate and needy for him.

“You want me to go harder? You sure you can take it, pretty girl? You’ve given me two already… think you can give me another one?”

You moaned loudly, high pitched and pornographic, at his words.

“I asked you a question.” He ground out through clenched teeth, wrapping his left arm around your waist to pull you into him. His other hand delivered a hard slap to the side of your ass.

“Fuck! Yes! Harder, sir!” You cried, the sting of the slap only adding to your pleasure.

“God, you feel like a fucking dream.” He groaned, slamming into you at an impressive speed. The sound of his hips slapping against you was loud, and the wet sounds coming from in between the two of you were lewd and unmistakable. If anyone walked by the door, there would be no doubt about what was going on in here. He slapped your ass again, this time much harder, and you wailed at the extra pleasure the sting gave you.

“Fuck, y/n, I’m close.”

You have no idea what comes over you as he says that in your ear, but you’re opening your mouth to say the words before your brain has time to process it.

“Choke me, Jacob. Fuck, I want you to choke me.”

“Oh, fuck.” He practically whined, wrapping his right hand around your throat. He squeezed lightly as he pounded into you.

“Harder, Jakey. Harder. Please.” You wailed, and his fingers tighten around your throat. Your head began to swim and your vision wavered as your climax finally starts to build up again. It’s overwhelming, a feeling like something is trying to claw its way out of you.

“I’m gonna cum.” You wheezed out, and Jake moaned nto your ear.

“Give it to me. Cum on my cock.”

Jake released his hold on your throat and finally, your orgasm overtook you. Your vision whited out and your whole body began to shake madly. You screamed Jake’s name as you cum and distantly you hear him as he reaches his own climax. He’s moaning curses into your damp skin but it’s like you’re in another plane of existence. Your orgasm seems to go on forever as you clench around Jake – drawing every drop of cum he has in him. You've never had an orgasm last the way that one just did.

He stilled in you, and the both of you sit there, breathing heavily.

“Y/n…” Jake says, voice wrecked and shaky. “You just- have you ever done that before?”

“Done what?” You slurred, brain covered in a fog.

“You fucking squirted. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

You shook your head.

“No. Not done that before.”

Jake slipped out of you carefully, the both of you hissing at the feeling. You swayed where you were bent over the counter and Jake placed a steadying hand on your back.

“You okay?” He asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah, fuck. I’m great. Just need to sit down.”

Jake grabbed his shirt and placed it on the floor before helping you ease down onto it.

“I’ve never cum that hard in my life.” You told him, a sleepy smile gracing your lips. He gave you a matching one in return. He looked so pretty looking at you like that – hair a mess, skin slick with sweat. He looked completely fucked out.

“Me neither. Holy shit.”

You giggled.

“Come back to my apartment with me.” He said, pulling his pants back up and buttoning them.

“Jake I don’t think I’m gonna be able to go again for at least a week.” You told him, letting your head fall back to rest on the wall.

“No, I’m going to make you dinner and draw you a bath. And then I’m gonna cuddle the shit out of you. Come on.” He helped you to your feet.

He grabbed his shirt off the floor and gathered your clothes up as well, handing them to you.

“Sounds pretty nice to me.” You giggled. “God, I’m probably going to get fired. There’s no way none of them heard that.”

“Good.” Jake said, slipping his shirt on over his shoulders. “Now they know who you belong to.”

“Oh I belong to you now?” You jokingly challenged, carefully stepping back into your skirt and wincing.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Jake said with a smirk. He looked like sin incarnate. “I’m never letting you go.”

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#jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fanfiction #jake kiszka #dee's writing

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sappyspeare · 21 hours

Text

wymack and kevin hcs post-canon

currently writing a 5+1 of kevin and his dad trying to talk to each other without screaming and crying (mostly on kevin's part). so here are some hcs that i cant fit into it

after Kevin goes pro and Wymack retires and moves in with Abby, there is always obviously room for their foxes, but a small, single room for Kevin. it's unspoken that that is for Wymacks son, Kevin Day. he tells everyone who comes into the house that it's his son's room but they can use it while he's gone. Kevin will always stay there and they never talk about it.

They do eventually talk about Kayleigh. Wymack helps Kevin by telling him stories about his insane girl boss mother and they have a good cry about it.

Wymack Abby and some new foxes are watching a pro game where Kevin is playing and there's a moment where Kevin stands with his hands on his hips and yells at a player and all the foxes are like omg. it's mini wymack and wymack threatens to put them through a marathon

Wymack goes to all of Kevin's games. no matter where it is or when it is, he will be there because he is a proud father first and foremost

There is always a front-row seat kevin keeps for his father

Kevin calls Wymack every week to update him on life and stuff. the new foxes realise that wymack is significantly happier after a 20-minute call in the privacy of his office once a week

Wymack walks Dan down the aisle according to EC but have you considered he does it for Kevin too. because those two are his Kids bro

Wymack loves seeing how close Kevin and Abby are because i said so

Kevin and Abby try very hard to get Wymack to stop smoking and drinking and Abby is nice and patient and Kevin is ofc a bitch about it

anytime its a holiday Kevin Andrew and Neil will always come to see him. the others will come too but those 3 will come first and leave last

when Kevin gets his hall of fame moment he dedicates it to the man who taught him how to love the game and himself aka his dad and lets just say wymack needs a moment

kevin gets more tattoos over the years and also looks more like wymack as he gets older

sometimes when kevins in town wymack lets him run foxes practice and its always fun for the kids to see them standing next to each other, father and son because it just looks so Right until Kevin yells at them to run faster or get off the court

Wymack keeps in touch with all his foxes, but Kevin later learns that he also keeps contact with Jean which makes him. so happy because finally Jean has more good influences in his life

ALSO their first father son heart to heart is after rikos funeral where wymack is like 'so. do you want to get blackout drunk' and kevin obviously agrees

Kevin starts calling wymack Dad or sometimes Father after he graduates . sometimes he refers to him as Coach in interviews or in public but everyone knows who he means

Wymack buys the first racquet for Kevin's daughter (she exists in the EC)

(also i dont like thea. sorry. so smth smth kevin adopts a little baby girl and single-dads so hard that wymack is put to shame)

wymack loves his granddaughter like crazy and spoils the shit out of her

Kevin takes a rough hit during a game and Wymack almost charges into the court to take out the punk who tried to hurt his kid

wymack often gets badgered by media trying to get comments about kevin or the other foxes post-graduating and going pro and if hes in the mood he will give them a line about how proud he is of x kid but in such a cryptic way that only that kid could know what he means

this is especially true for neil and andrew but sometimes kevin calls him the next day like 'did u have to talk about the time i did X when they asked u for a comment on my game' and wymack is like. yes. next question

Wymack and Kevin argue a lot it is their love language

but god forbid you talk shit about David Wymack in front of Kevin or in any public space because not only are you bringing down the wrath of the Foxes on you, Kevin Day is a petty bitch and will ruin your life, your career, and your will to live if you fuck with his dad

and vice versa because who the fuck do you think you are messing with david wymack's kid?

TRAUMA ALERT: in the EC it says neil only cries when he gets the call about wymack. but consider: kevin has to make the call. goodnight

ok im done now i just have a lot of feelings

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ingravinoveritas · 2 months

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hey, if you watched comic relief, did you think david looked unbearably tired? he sounded near tears at times and idt it was just bcs of the charity videos

Hi there! I'm not in the UK, so I wasn't able to see Comic Relief while it aired, or any clips until now.

I didn't notice the tiredness at first, but it definitely seemed to become more visible later in the show, as did the sounding near tears. This moment (which I got from a fan on Twitter who compiled all of David's bits) in particular really got me, as it's so apparent here...

As to what could've been causing this, I think there are several things that could have been happening, possibly even all at once. Up until I got into Good Omens/David/Michael, I wasn't at all familiar with Comic Relief, but having watched the show for a few years now, there are some really striking things I've noticed about how it's structured and what it involves.

On the one hand, you have lots of famous actors and comedians and musicians putting on a show and telling jokes...and then on the other, you have emotional videos of people in dire situations, both in the UK and abroad. And because Comic Relief is live, it's much harder to build in transitions between these two things, so you end up dramatically shifting from lighthearted to serious and back, and it leaves you with a bit of whiplash as a result.

So if those abrupt tonal shifts are difficult for us an audience, they must be even more challenging for the host(s), including David. I think the live aspect of the show makes it very similar to theater and how David might have reacted in differing moments during Macbeth, because we're seeing emotional reactions in real time, without the benefit of editing. Tonight was also the last occasion of Comic Relief that Lenny Henry was hosting after nearly 40 years at the helm, so I feel like that probably made David emotional as well, given how much he has worked with and admires him.

As for the tiredness, it seems there were at least a few interviews that David did prior to the broadcast, so he was probably running around all day trying to get everything done. Then you add to that the chaos of multiple hosts on stage and everyone trying to find their marks (which seems to have been something David was stressing out about a bit in one of the interviews today), plus the charity videos, and it's no wonder that he looked so drained.

(Another thing I also wonder is if David's demeanor had anything to do with sharing the stage with Davina McCall, who was allegedly outed as a TERF last year. Given the attacks from the anti-trans loons that David and Georgia have endured over the last several months, I can imagine that he might not be comfortable co-hosting with someone who espouses such views. And for the record, there was something about Davina that inexplicably annoyed/seemed off to me long before any of the TERF stuff came to light. It seems like my instincts have been confirmed in that regard...)

So yes, those are pretty much all of the things that came to mind regarding David's demeanor at Comic Relief. He's probably been running himself ragged lately with new projects since Macbeth ended (the Genius Game hosting gig, for one, and an appearance on the SmartTV game show, plus multiple upcoming Comic Con appearances), so hopefully he can find some time to relax and breathe in between all of this, because he more than deserves a break.

I hope this helps to answer your question. Thanks for writing in! x

#lxvenderjewel #reply post #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #comic relief 2024 #red nose day #it breaks my heart to see him so wrung out #and to wonder what if anything else could be going on #but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds #i just hope David knows that he is lovely #and deserves good things #thoughts #discourse

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colbyskies · 9 months

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Obsess Over Me

4.8K words Bill Kaulitz x Male Reader Bill confesses his feelings for his bandmate, sick of watching the way he touches a bunch of groupies the way he wishes he would touch him. After a night of clubbing, he asks M/n to take him to his hotel room, not able to hold himself back anymore.

It is their last show of the tour and thankfully David has granted them a few weeks of vacation to cool down and party. That starts tonight. No photoshoots, no interviews, no meet and greets or talk shows, they’re done for a couple months. They love the show business, but it gets overwhelming when you’re playing show after show after show with hardly any time to yourself. It’s exhausting, so any break, even if it’s two days, is taken like a one way ticket to paradise.

The second the show ends and all the equipment is packed away, the five boys pack into the car and drive to the nearest club. They want to have some fun before they have to fly back home in a couple days. M/n is driving with Bill in the front seat and three other eager boys in the back.

All the windows are open, the band preferring natural air over the AC while driving down the empty roads. Bill's dreads fly around his face in the wind, locks of black and white blocking his vision, yet he doesn’t care. He revels in the feeling of the cool air on his warm skin, still high on adrenaline and hot from the stage lights from the show. His fingers dance on the edge of the door where the window would be, watching the way the wind pushes his hand as he lays his head against the headrest, his eyes closed taking in the moment.

M/n occasionally glances over to the singer at a red light or a stop, watching as the street lights or headlights from other cars brighten his complexion. Bill is beautiful, his makeup skills are something M/n admires, people always think Bill is weird for wearing makeup as a guy but M/n loves it. His skill with a makeup brush is something the other has never seen before, his style, and his hair. Out of all the time he’s known Bill, the way he looks right now has to be what M/n would consider his most beautiful style.

The boys in the back seat are loud, either loudly singing with the music playing as background noise through the radio or excitedly talking over each other about plans for their vacation. Over the years M/n has grown used to the sound, he wouldn't trade it for the world. He loves the way that despite being around each other practically 24/7 there is still so much they can talk about. It is almost endearing how much they have to say to each other.

It only took a few more minutes before M/n pulled into the parking lot for the club they all agreed upon. Taking one more look towards Bill, who is now looking back at him, he shuts the car off and steps out onto the pavement. He throws the keys to the car filled with their bodyguards who were forced to follow, knowing none of the band would be able to drive themselves home by the end of the night. He doesn’t know why he looked at Bill, but something made me want to. Made him want to memorize the way Bill looked in that moment.

As soon as they step into the bar, they head towards a closed off booth in the corner of the club prepared for them. The venue knowing they were coming beforehand thanks to a call from their manager, something he did good for once. They love the fame but at the same time it has its downsides, like having to check over your shoulder every time you go out and watch for stalkers or paparazzi. Something they have all had their fair share of.

They settle into the round booth, Georg going to get rounds for the whole table, some beer and shots go around bringing them to the brink of tipsy. Starting off the night to a good start. They make simple conversation with each other, talking about the tour and how the show went, any annoying things that happened. That section is mainly filled with complaints about David.

Once all their minds are fuzzy, they leave the table looking for something—someone—to entertain them for the time they’re at the club. Each of them choose carefully who they want to bring back to the table, not necessarily picky, but wanting good options. Bill’s the only one who stays behind this time, telling the rest of the group he’s not in the mood. None of them think anything of it since it isn't the first time. Bill tends to leave himself out of the groupie party, occasionally dipping into fulfilling their fantasies of sleeping with a celebrity, but not as often as the others. To him, it doesn’t serve him the same purpose. He isn’t into having casual sex with random people he finds in a crowd or toying with the heart of a fan. He wants something more permanent and yeah every once in a while he might go out of his comfort zone, but tonight he has someone else on his mind.

Tom usually takes the longest finding someone to spend the evening with, wanting someone he’s really attracted to. Someone not too loud, but talkative enough to hold conversation, not too dressed, but covered. Tom loves removing their clothes for them, it is his favourite part of the night as he has explained to the band many times in great detail. Slowly stripping the girl he’s with of her clothes as she whimpers for him to quicken his pace. He is a tease and he knows how much it drives every girl that has the opportunity to be under him insane.

M/n is slightly picky as well, usually sticking to someone who has black hair, beautifully done black eye makeup, and dresses in tight clothes that hug each curve perfectly. Yet he tends to always ignore the fact that the majority of girls he brings back to his hotel room or into his bed look strikingly similar to his stunning singer.

As they take more shots and get more drunk with the girls and each other, they get more touchy. Moving from occasional light kisses on cheeks or lips, to collarbones or the parts of breasts exposed in their shirts. It always takes M/n a bit longer than the rest to get to the point where he's touching every part of her. Almost like he’s waiting for everyone else to be preoccupied before he starts to play his game. He takes pride in the way he can unravel anyone with just his eyes. Always waiting until the girl is practically begging him to touch her, watching as she eyes the rest of the guys, envious of what they’re doing with the girls they brought back to their little booth in the corner.

Only then will he indulge in her desires. Starting at her lips, pressing his firmly against hers as he holds tightly onto the small of her waist, dragging small moans from the back of her throat. This time though he feels sharp eyes on him and he knows exactly who they belong to. He feels the others stare quite often when he decides he doesn’t want a girl's company like the rest of the band, instead watching as M/n brainwashes the girl at his disposal. M/n loves it, he loves the way Bill studies him.

Then he moves down her neck. Pushing her head softly with the tips of his fingers trailing gentle teasing kisses down the column of her neck, sucking once he reaches her clavicle. This always has the girl a whimpering mess, knowing that he's not giving them everything she wants, just the bare minimum of what they could have drives them through the roof. Though he is surprised to hear a muffled more boyish moan a little ways away from him. Deducting it to one of the others occupied with the woman they brought back he resists the urge to open his eyes to actually check.

Continuing down the girl's chest, he reaches the top of her breasts, leaving feather-like kisses as he pushes her shirt further down wanting more access. As soon as she realizes what he wants, she helps him remove her breasts from their captivity, letting out the one closest to his mouth. Bill will never understand how someone could do something like this in the open. Let themselves be completely controlled in the public eye where anyone can see what they’re doing.

M/n opens his eyes to look around the table, seeing the rest of the boys in a similar position as he is. Only to find Bill, who doesn't have a groupie wrapped around his finger, staring directly at him, one of his hands lost somewhere under the table, a blissful look on his face. M/n smirks, staring back at him before putting the girl's nipple in his mouth. Swirling his tongue around the bud like he would do if he were giving a blow job something he has done quite a few times. He hears the same groan he heard earlier and instantly connects the dots. Bill is turned on from watching M/n tease this poor girl and he's palming himself in his jeans as he watches. What a voyeur.

He trails his kisses back up to the girls neck, now focussing on her collarbones. He loves Bill’s collarbones. The thought hits him suddenly, almost causing him to stop the motion of his mouth on the girl's beautifully pale skin. Skin that is a very similar colour to Bills. He moves his hand to the girl's inner thigh, teasing the sensitive skin with light touches that make her instinctively spread her legs.

M/n watches as Bill bites his lips to suppress another moan, the singer imagining that it’s him M/n is playing with. His cock twitching at the idea of M/n’s hands all over him, controlling him, worshipping him, instead of some random groupie pulled from the crowd. The girl moans quite loud at the hidden actions of M/n’s hand under the table and Bill knows exactly what he’s doing. He snaps out of his fixation and gets up from the table, desperately needing a drink to forget everything he just did and will his dick to soften in his pants before he confesses to something he's not ready for.

M/n doesn’t follow him, thank god, he doesn’t know what he would do to explain what just happened. Did M/n find it weird? But he watched him the entire time too, what does that mean? Anxious thoughts rush through Bill's head as he approaches the bar, ordering himself the strongest drink on the menu.

He is only there for a few minutes before he feels a familiar presence next to him. “Why’d you leave?” The voice deep next to his ear almost makes him whimper at the feeling of warm breath fanning against the side of his neck. Unfortunately the music is so loud that they have to be close together in order to hear each other. Any other day Bill would be swooning at their proximity but right now he’s scared for M/n’s reaction of Bill’s actions.

“Needed a drink,” he responds, he knows that M/n doesn’t buy it from the way he raises his eyebrow at him, but thankfully he doesn’t push. Bill is still hard and lusting after the other, trying his hardest to will away his thoughts, but he can’t stop from examining M/n.

The way his lips move so close to Bill’s face every time he talks to him, Bill would be lying if he said he is paying any attention to the words falling from his sinful mouth. Only imagining how his lips would feel pressing into his body, leaving him a mess beneath him. When M/n moves to take another sip from the drink in his hand Bill can’t help but watch the muscles in his arm flex with each movement, arms his wish would trap him against a bed. Or the way his eyes grow dark with lust when he talks about some groupie he fucked during their tour.

God does Bill wish he would look at him like that. He wants the other to treat him like a groupie, throw him around in the bedroom then toss him out the next morning. He wants him to use him, but not just once and that’s one of the reasons Bill doesn’t advance on his desires. Bill wants him to be the only one M/n uses, that requires commitment. Commitment he fears M/n doesn’t have or isn’t ready for. He moves closer to M/n, pretending to not be able to hear another story from the tour, something he and Tom had done together.

Bill shuts him up before grabbing his hand and dragging M/n to the face floor. The other following eagerly behind wanting Bill as much as the other wants him. Neither of them are in control of their actions, the drunken fog covering any rational part of their mind telling them not to. No one would care to notice two boys dancing on the floor drunk out of their minds in a cluster of people and if they did they’d think Bill is a girl.

The two dance sensually, M/n occasionally grabbing a girl to dance with. Dancing behind her, her hands in his hair, and his lips attached to her neck, watching Bill as he kisses and sucks on her clavicle. His hands move up and down her sides, revelling in the way Bill watches his every move, from the way his hands trail to her breasts squeezing them to the way he buries his face in the girl's neck. He does this both to arouse Bill and to piss him off, M/n wanting nothing more than Bill to take what he wants.

As soon as he’s done teasing Bill with another girl, Bill decides to be bold. He trips over his words, not out of nerves, but from the fog in his head. No rational side of himself holding him back from grabbing the back of M/n’s neck to put his lips right next to his ear.

“Take me to your room,” he tries to whisper huskily, yet his voice fails him, coming out desperate and needy instead. M/n groans in response, holding himself back from jutting his hips into Bills. They can dance, but they can’t go further than that in the public eye, they both know it despite their drunk minds.

“Go get the car,” M/n tells Bill, there’s no argument as Bill goes to do what he told him to. Walking outside he finds the car full of bodyguards and asks one of them to drive them back to the hotel. To which he groans but compiles, stepping out of the car and into the other the band took to the club.

In the club, M/n tells the rest of the boys that he and Bill are heading back to the hotel getting a teasing comment about them being too pussy to stay from each of them. M/n snickers at them before heading out to the car knowing that what he’ll be getting tonight is far better than what any of them will be getting.

The car ride back couldn’t be any longer, both of them desperate to lay their hands on each other. Their hard cock throb in the confinements of their jeans begging to be touched. It is almost torture, not being able to knowing that the bodyguard in the front seat can see their every move. As soon as they get to the hotel, the both of them run though the lobby, impatiently running up the stairs to the floor they’re staying on, and throwing themselves at M/n’s door.

“Fuck.” M/n struggles to slip the key into the slot to open the door, his hands shaking with excitement. Of course Bill’s hands rubbing themselves along his shoulders and down his back until they’re pressing into his waist doesn’t help his focus.

Finally he unlocks the door, getting the both of them inside before making sure all the locks are secured. It’s risky to do this, they both know that just as they both know that their manager has a key to their room and could get in at any time he wants.

“Come on,” Bill whines at M/n’s slight hesitation, pulling him by his belt towards the bed. He presses his lips firmly on the others, “fuck me.” M/n brings his gaze to Bill's face, the look in his eyes anything but the innocent persona he puts on for the cameras. His cock throbs and he groans at the thought of fucking Bill hard into the mattress. His brain quickly generating images of Bill desperately moaning under him and begging him to fuck him harder.

He pushes Bill back until his knees hit the edge of the bed causing him to fall on his back, his white and black dreads sprawling out around his head like a halo. Bill is an angel. Neither of them have ever craved anyone so much in their lives. Bill sits up and starts to pull on the hem of M/n’s shirt, before easing it over his body in one swift motion. M/n returns the favour pulling off Bill's tight clothes, sticking to his body slightly from sweating while they danced. M/n presses himself into Bill, their warm chests touching as they kiss.

Bill is still sitting at the end of the bed with M/n standing in front of him, both of his hands on Bill, one in his hair and the other on his neck. Both of Bill’s hands rest right above M/n’s hips, grabbing onto the flesh that resides just on the edge of his waist. M/n pushes Bill onto his back, guiding him further up the bed until his head is resting on the pillows.

He kisses him roughly, Bill's lips smooth just like he expected them to be. Bill deepens the kiss forcing his tongue into M/n’s mouth, trying to take control. M/n moans at the taste of the other, vodka, cigarettes, and vanilla lip balm, a taste he’ll soon grow addicted to.

Bill grows desperate, pulling M/n closer to him by his back. Whimpering into the kiss as it becomes more sloppy and breathy. His breathing is erratic, but he doesn’t want to pull away for air, wanting to feel M/n against him until his lungs forget to breathe.

He doesn’t need to since M/n takes his opportunity to trail kisses down Bill’s neck the same way he did to those girls earlier. Teasing Bill in way’s he’s never been teased before, turning him inside out. His stomach flips the further M/n goes, the muscles in his abdomen flexing once he reaches right above his belly button. He kisses around it, like it’s sacred feeling the way Bill's stomach turns against his lips. M/n trails further, right above Bill’s hip where his star tattoo is. A tattoo M/n has always loved, he presses rough kisses to it, biting and licking the skin, leaving a purple mark in his wake. Bill is moaning desperately, rocking his hips into the other wanting nothing more than him to touch him. He’s never been so desperate for someone before.

M/n comes back to Bill’s lips, diving into his mouth hungrily. His back arches off the bed, thrusting his hips into M/n’s moaning loudly at the contact he created. Bill digs his manicured nails into the others ribs needing more.

“Please…I need you so fucking bad..take me M/n.” All of his words slur together this time not from drunk fog, but from the dizziness M/n makes him feel. The way his heart pounds out of his chest as M/n caresses his sides the further down he traces his body in kisses. Remembering each of his curves, freckles, or scars. M/n thought his body to be perfect.

“You’re so beautiful, baby. Let me take my time,” M/n mumbles against his skin, the vibrations of his voice on his lower stomach causing him to moan the sensation hitting his dick at a perfect angle.

“Look at you.” M/n pulls away from Bill’s body, the singer whining at the loss of contact. “All desperate underneath me like the beautiful slut you are. You want me so fucking bad dont you, baby.” Bill whimpers, squirming under M/n’s gaze, wanting nothing more than him to just touch him. To press his hands onto his dick and stroke him. His head is lulled back into the pillows, his eyes only slightly open, the length of his lashes making it almost impossible to see the boy controlling him. “Use your words, baby. Let me hear everything your slutty mind wants me to do to you.” Each degrading phrase sends a wave of pleasure through Bill.

Whining Bill responds, “Fuck M/n. Touch me everywhere. Unravel me. Use me. I don't care, please, I just need you to touch every part of me.” M/n groans at Bill's filthy words, removing his pants and boxers quickly so he can aid Bill in removing his as well.

M/n touches Bill just as he asked. Holding his cock in his hand, he runs his thumb over the head, Bill flinches with a moan, the feeling almost overstimulating. M/n continues to stroke the singer, loving the way his voice sounds like he’s singing with each noise he makes.

He kisses Bill’s chest as he strokes him. He takes Bill's pierced nipple into his mouth, tugging on the metal loop dragging loud moans from the dread head. Bill’s hands find his hair, holding him firmly against his chest, wanting to feel more of his tongue and lips. M/n nips the area leaving it swollen and purple against Bill’s vampire-like skin, he wants to mark every part of Bill’s body. He wants everyone to know that he did this to him, the Bill is his.

M/n’s cock leaks precome, needing Bill just as Bill needs him. He reaches under one of his pillows and pulls out the bottle of lube he put under there. His fingers trail to Bill’s thighs touching him so softly that it almost tickles, just as he did to the girl earlier. Bill now knows exactly why they like it so much, he spreads his legs just as the other wanted.

M/n lathers up his fingers before pressing into Bill, leaving kisses on his thighs as he stretches him. It is uncomfortable at first, but soon Bill falls into the pace M/n started, loving the way his fingers slide in and out of his body. Suddenly, M/n curls his fingers and hits a spot in Bill that causes him to moan louder than he ever thought was possible. His breathing grows heavier as M/n works him open, the kisses on his thighs doing little to help bring him away from his orgasm.

“Ahh.. M/n…if you keep going I'm gonna come already..” As if he doesn’t hear him, M/n continues, sticking a third finger into Bill and stucking harder on Bill's sensitive thighs. Leaving marks everywhere his lips touch. “Ahh~” Bill moans as M/n curls his fingers into his prostate once more. Not being able to hold himself back anymore, he comes all over his stomach for the first time that night.

M/n removes his fingers, licking some of Bill’s come off his stomach before moving up on the bed to kiss Bill who’s riding out his orgasm. Bill tastes himself on M/n’s lips. His legs continue to shake as he tells M/n he needs him, that he wants him to fill him up. “Anything for you my beautiful angel.” M/n whispers against Bill’s slightly parted mouth, kissing him harder than he has that night and pressing his cock into him.

Bill is overstimulated, the feeling of M/n pushing into him right after he came bringing him close to the edge once again. It’s too much but at the same time it's perfect. He has to hold back a pained groan as M/n reaches a spot with his cock that his fingers couldn’t.

As soon as he’s fully inside of Bill, he waits for him to adjust to the feeling. He rubs circles into his hips, pushing his thumb into his star tattoo every so often eliciting a soft moan from the other.

“You can move now,” Bill whimpers, starting to grind his hips on M/n’s cock pulling a groan from the male above him. They rock at a rough pace, fast and desperate. M/n hangs over Bill, so close every part of them is touching. Bill holds onto M/n tightly, feeling his cock slide in and out of him grazing against his prostate with every thrust, igniting a fire within his lower stomach but not enough to send him over the edge.

M/n traps him against the sheets of his mattress with his muscly arms just as the singer imagined, his sweat beading at his forehead as he dives further into Bill. He kisses him again, pushing him further into the bed as his kisses grow sloppy getting closer to his climax.

“I’m close,” Bill warns with a moan, digging his fingers further into M/n’s shoulders, the heat in his stomach growing with each thrust. “Me too, baby,” M/n says breathlessly into his neck, starting to bite and leave bruises on his skin. With each bite and each thrust, so rough, the fire spread from his stomach to his groin sending Bill over the edge. His legs start to shake again and he no longer has the strength to hold them around M/n’s waist.

He comes over both of their stomachs, M/n using him to chase his own orgasm. Using him until his body is convulsing from the overstimulation and assault on his prostate. He whimpers and moans pulling M/n closer despite the pressure, clenching around M/n’s cock and bringing him to his climax.

M/n falls on top of Bill, both of them huffing out of exhaustion. Soon M/n rolls off the singer, slowly pulling out of Bill some of his come follow the path of his cock, leaving Bill to whimper at the sensation. He rests a bit before getting up to get a wet cloth to clean up the both of them and give Bill a glass of water.

“Thank you,” Bill says as he sits up to take the glass, flinching slightly at the pain in his lower back. His voice is rough from the noises he made and from the long show they had just a couple hours prior before.

“Of course, baby.” M/n kisses Bill’s forehead before sitting next to him on the bed. “There is no way our neighbours didn’t hear us.” Bill mumbles, blushing, embarrassed at that fact. Thanking every god that no one from the band is rooming next to them, especially thankful that it’s not Tom knowing for sure he would tease him any chance he got. Also it’s kind of just gross hearing your sibling having sex. “You are very vocal.” M/n teases the singer, pressing his lips to the curve of his neck, Bill moving his head slightly to the side to offer him more access. Bill blushes again knowing that he is quite vocal and not only when it comes to sex.

“Well, they’ll know you’re mine then.” M/n whispers possessively against the singer's neck before moving to kiss his lips, this time the kiss is soft unlike their ones before. Bill can feel the way M/n’s lips fit on his perfectly.

“I’ve been wanting you for so long,” Bill confesses, pulling away from the kiss. “I know.” Bill's eyes blow wide. Has he really been that obvious? “I’ve been wanting you for a very long time Bill, you are gorgeous, how could I not?” Bill chuckles lightly, putting the glass on the nightstand and laying down under the covers now a ruined mess from their activities. M/n follows, spooning Bill from behind.

“Goodnight, beautiful.” M/n kisses the top of his shoulder. “Goodnight, baby,” Bill whispers back lazily, already falling asleep in the comfort of M/n’s warm arms. Yet also scared that once he wakes up M/n will no longer be in his bed and they will move forward with their lives pretending this never happened.

#bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x male reader #bill kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel #georg listing #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz x you #gustav schäfer

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allycat75 · 7 months

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Screaming into a void time (another long one, sorry)...

Ok, I have tolerated these shenanigans with the Boston bonehead and his merry band of clout chasers and liars, watching his soul decay while everyone (including me) debated whether he was married or not, how many ceremonies they had, how they traveled and where they lived (and was it even their ugly-ass house in MA or NY) but I have to lay down some cold hard truths for our anxiety riddled pothead.

Your decisions, forced or not, have led you to this horrid point. Your only choices may have been between a turd sandwich and a giant douche (thanks, South Park) but you made that choice. And something tells me you didn't just come to this point out of nowhere. There were probably a string of missed lessons along the way that painted you into such a corner.

I know you may be fragile right now but you need to hear this as I suspect you are not hearing it from your loser friends or listening to the ones who do have your best interest at heart.

You are teetering on the ragged edge, my friend. I just saw the first trailer for Pain Hustlers and I can see why they released it only a week and a half before it is in the theaters- because Netflix wants to bury it. Another in a long line of duds your team should have been adept at steering you clear from. You better hope the strike last long enough to where Red One has to be postponed until next year, otherwise you will pull off the hat trick of working your ass off on three movies that have showcased how little anyone cares (you or the audience). I could be wrong about Red One, but this was filmed during your fugue state where the real Chris disappeared and was replaced with a stoned automaton who had no problem selling out everything he believed in. Not conducive to the best creative energy.

Well, buddy, it is time to wake up. You are aware of what is going on in the world, right? You used to have a website that cared about this stuff. Too bad you couldn't use this time off from the strike to pour into that instead of pretending to get married to a woman you refuse to touch or even sit near, breadcrumming two weddings by leveraging the poor boundaries you have established with your family and friends and giving the worst interview to GQ, making you look like a tone deaf, moronic, pretentious asshole.

You need to separate yourself from these racist, anti-semites NOW. While some outside the fandom are starting to notice, it will catch on like a house on fire if you aren't careful. Remember how easy it was for the fandom to find out all this shit about them last year? And now look at what is going on outside. Hamas is a terrorist organization who wants nothing more than to have Jews exterminated from the planet. And here in the US, we have someone vying to be Speaker of the House (second in line for the Presidency) who describes himself as "David Duke without the baggage"; you remember David Duke, right? You used to stand up to him before you were made to look like a fucking joke).

There is no such thing as a little bit racist, or a little bit antisemetic, and for all intents and purposes, you married one, with all her "baggage". Certificate or no certificate; pictures or no pictures. This isn't one of those things that you can claim plausible deniability. You are in it. And if you think your privlege can save you, maybe it can, but I doubt it. It may not have happened yet, but the Sword of Damocles is hanging just above your head.

It comes down to the difference between intent and impact. No one really believes this has been your intent, but that matters little to those impacted by your actions. I know you have "cyclical unhappiness" when you think about the small stuff too much, but too bad. There is no way to take yourself out of the equation. You are not a used car lot balloon, who frantically moves every which way until the air is let out and deflates into nothing. You are a grown human being and like all of us, have a responsibility to understand your place in the universe. Otherwise, you are just stepping over bodies with such carelessness- the teacher in Portugal who only thought she was supporting a charity, your friends trying to promote one of your crappy movies, only to have it derailed by your drama backstage, fans getting harassed and even receiving death threats for speaking the truth we see with our own eyes. You may not be doing these things with your own hands, but that does not absolve your responsibility.

As I said before, this is your time to wake up. Coming clean with pure heart and honesty is the only solution at this point. If you wait too long or dig your heals in, like we have seen before, it will be too late. Do you think Jinx will want to partner with an antisemite loving dog dad? What studio will hire you, even for your one movie a year? Based on your crappy decision making skills, I have a feeling any pottery you sell will be break even with the amount of pot you smoke. So invest wisely and I hope your accountants are more trustworthy than the rest of the people you have surrounded yourself with.

Now, I am actually a very kind person who for some reason is still rooting for you. I still think there is a good person buried deep in there. These are rare and may be why I can't give up just yet.

You have the con this weekend. I know you can't promote Captain America, but think back to what he stood for. You even referenced him and how you aimed to be more like him in that god forsaken GQ video. So do it, you dummy! You will feel much better when your soul is unburdened. Then follow the advise I and many others have given before:

Get a good therapist and do the work

Decide if you really want to act or not; if so, take some classes to shake the cobwebs off; If not, are you going to be ok giving up the perks?

Don't use weed as a crutch

Establish clear boundaries with family and friends

Remove relationships (personal and professional) that are no longer serving you or even doing you harm

Listen to what your head and the universe is telling you

Do not get into a relationship until you have an idea of who you are and at least get to the "like" stage

To quote Florence and the Machine (Wish That You Were Here):

And now I'm reaching out with every note I sing And I hope it gets to you on some pacific wind Wraps itself around you and whispers in your ear Tells you that I miss you and I wish that you were here

#boston bonehead #you are the company you keep #Used car lot balloon #Do better #legacy

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pers-books · 5 months

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INTERVIEW

Jemma Redgrave: ‘Doctor Who will keep me young’

The actress would be happy to be remembered for the sci-fi series, she tells Dominic Maxwell

Jemma Redgrave: “My character wanted to make her way on merit. That wasn’t difficult to play”

Dominic Maxwell

Saturday November 25 2023, 12.01am, The Times

Jemma Redgrave has a problem. “Every time I get a new office,” she says, “it blows up.” Granted, she admits, the first time we saw her office — in the 50th anniversary Doctor Who special of 2013 that featured Matt Smith and David Tennant — it was in the Tower of London, and that one has stayed standing. Otherwise, though, in her role as Kate Stewart, the head of the Doctor’s paramilitary allies UNIT, her workplaces seem to routinely explode. That they seem to get swankier and swankier each time only seems to make them more vulnerable to the zap gun.

She won’t give anything away, and the BBC is keeping under wraps each of the three 60th anniversary specials, which start tonight. Yet you have to fear for the giant floating Marvel-style Unit HQ that features in the trailer. Redgrave doesn’t appear until the final part, which pits David Tennant’s returning Doctor against Neil Patrick Harris’s Toymaker, a villain not seen since 1966. She will, however, be the one other holdover from the 50th anniversary specials. “Yes,” she says with a disbelieving smile over morning coffee in a north London café, “I think it’s just me and David.”

She and her sons, now aged 29 and 23, had watched the series ever since it returned, after 16 years off our screens (a one-off comeback starring Paul McGann aside), in 2005. She wondered for a while why seemingly every other actor she knew got a role in it. Hers, though, has proved to be the longest-running.

She first played Kate Stewart opposite Smith in an episode in 2012. She didn’t realise the significance of the surname at the time: Stewart is the daughter of Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, the head of Unit from 1968 to 1975, during the eras of Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker. All of which is catnip to the fans, some of whom, as emissaries from Doctor Who magazine, were on set doing a story on her first day. They helped her to join the dots.

As Kate Stewart in the Doctor Who 60th Anniversary Specials (BBC)

Stewart, after all, didn’t use her full name. “She didn’t want to take advantage of her connections and wanted to make her way on merit,” Redgrave says. As the daughter of an actor (Corin Redgrave), the niece of two actresses (Vanessa Redgrave and Lynn Redgrave), the granddaughter of actors (Michael Redgrave, Rachel Kempson) and the cousin of actresses (Joely Richardson and Natasha Richardson), she knew where Stewart was coming from. It can be tedious spending your time fending questions about how you’ve got where you are today, after all.

“That you’re some sort of nepo baby? It can be, can’t it? Sometimes those questions go on and on and on, many, many, many, many years down the line.” Redgrave, a gifted under-player of a scene, gives a surprisingly full-hearted chuckle. “So that wasn’t a difficult scene to play.”

Redgrave appears only sporadically, but has rubbed shoulders with six doctors: Smith, Tennant, Peter Capaldi, John Hurt (in the 50th special), Jodie Whittaker and, coming soon, Ncuti Gatwa, who will take the lead once Tennant’s celebratory trilogy is done.

There have been rumours that Stewart and UNIT are getting their own show, but Redgrave insists that this is news to her. Then again, it’s rare for her to be permitted to admit even that she is in the first Gatwa series. She has to sign an NDA each time she shoots the show so that nobody, with the exception of her partner, who may be staying with her in Wales during shooting anyway, knows what she is working on.

She understands the rationale for this, although it can become absurd. During lockdown, because travel was restricted, the BBC sent a car to her north London home to pick her up for filming. On the way to the car she bumped into Smith, who lives in the area, walking his dog. He asked where she was heading. Cardiff, she told him. He asked what she was working on. “I said, ‘I can’t possibly tell you. I’ve signed an NDA.’ And he said, ‘Oh well, send them all my love.’”

Redgrave is a young-looking 58. Her extensive stage work includes appearing in a London production of Chekhov’s The Three Sisters with her aunts. Her TV work includes starring in the series Bramwell as well as recurring roles in Holby City, Grantchester, Silent Witness and Cold Blood. How would she feel if the world remembered her most for her sporadic role as the head of UNIT?

“I think that’s OK,” she says. “I grew up watching Jon Pertwee. And Jon Pertwee doesn’t change in my imagination. The people I grew up watching don’t get older in my imagination and I will remain in the imagination of the children who watch this 60th-year episode. And that is a kind of lovely thing. So I’m very happy to be remembered as Kate Stewart. Also, she’s a formidable woman. She has humour and heart and courage. And she’s vulnerable and aware of her limitations. So she’s kind of human in every possible way, even though she exists in a world of aliens and tech.”

On the subject of “the sci-fi stuff”, she admits that jargon and technobabble can be hard to play: the plot may need it, but it’s hard to bring much of yourself to. So she tries to find some emotional resonance of her own. “Either that or you just play it fast. It’s one or the other.”

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She has found, too, that the fans will support her in other roles. Recently she appeared in a play, Octopolis, at the Hampstead Theatre in London. “And a lot of Who fans came to see that, which is a lovely thing. She’s a great character, but partly the reason that UNIT has continued through this series is because fans have been very vocal in their love of those storylines.”

When she was growing up, it took her a while to admit that she wanted to be an actress. “My parents split when I was young. My mum [Deirdre Hamilton-Hill] supported me and my brother. There wasn’t a lot of money around, but we did get taken to the theatre. And I think growing up in the theatre, and particularly not having a fear of Shakespeare because I encountered him on the stage and not in the classroom for the first time, was a great privilege.”

It was a trip to see the Wars of the Roses Shakespeare history plays at the RSC in Stratford when she was 13 that convinced her she wanted to act. “Before that I’d played my cards close to my chest. I didn’t have much confidence. I was quiet about it because there were a lot of people in my family who acted.” When she told her father, he gave her a complete Arden set of Shakespeare plays, and wrote “to commemorate your decision to become an actress” on the front page.

She went to the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts, after which she began to work regularly. She appeared in a TV film, The Relief of Belsen, with her father, and in Howards End with Vanessa, but beyond that has ploughed her own furrow. So is the family connection one she can celebrate at this point?

What’s lovely, she says, is going to a set and having crew members come up to her and tell her they worked with her father, or her aunt, or her cousin or her brother Luke, a successful cameraman. “And usually anybody who says ‘I’ve worked with somebody in your family’ says it because they loved working with them. So it’s suddenly not quite such an intimidating environment.”

Family fame is dwarfed by sci-fi fame anyway. “I’m ‘her from Doctor Who’. And if you’ve got a body of work behind you, people don’t talk about the name. I just feel lucky that I come from the family that I come from because I grew up with books and theatre, which is a proper privilege. There wasn’t a lot of money, but there was that, and that’s worth everything.”

Doctor Who is on BBC1 and iPlayer from November 25. Jemma Redgrave’s episode is on December 9

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#Jemma Redgrave #Kate Stewart #Doctor Who #60th Anniversary Specials #Interview

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fernsnailz · 2 months

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February 2024 Review Roundup

well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month

the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.

i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess

House of Leaves

does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king

House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.

I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again

Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)

ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes

9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.

Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan

I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.

Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king

10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.

Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.

Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.

My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.

My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious

oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.

Rebuild of Evangelion

Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”

APPARENTLY NOT

[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]

I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.

While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.

I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.

Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.

My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:

This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up

There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies

High School Musical 3

kinda slaps just a little bit

High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere

Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:

The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.

What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg

Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:

Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it

The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.

One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:

What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????

Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)

There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return.

Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that

Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny

The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.

Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.

Some YouTube videos i liked in February:

💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya) 💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could) 💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game 💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels

And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!

…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel

Hazbin Hotel

well i didn’t like it

Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.

Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago

The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.

Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:

A boardroom

A video store

Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)

Various streets

Another boardroom

A BDSM club

Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)

A porn studio

A bar

Another bar

A town square (full of cannibals)

None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.

I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.

However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.

Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.

3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY

I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.

There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk

First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.

Then, it cuts straight to this shot:

A few things here.

Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.

Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.

And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:

In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.

Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:

The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:

Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:

Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.

And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.

Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.

MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:

The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.

This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.

Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.

Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.

Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.

I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.

I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.

I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:

The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.

I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.

You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.

well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye

#to get to my hazbin hotel opinions you must first read my pitch on how i would have written high school musical 3 #jesus christ. either i gotta watch less things or learn to shut the hell up next month this is a longass post #review roundup #long post

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martinsharmony · 4 months

Text

In defense of RP Shipping and RP Fiction

I don’t normally come out and give my opinion on things like this so plainly about such controversial things. I tend to shy away from confrontational writing such as this. However this idea has been brewing in my mind for some time now so I had to write it.

I am a Real Person Shipper.

I’m seeing people talk a lot more about RP shipping (and the hate towards it) since David Tennant and Michael Sheen appeared smiling at each other in a photo after David's appearance in Macbeth.

RP Shipping is not a choice.

When I caught the shipping bug, it hit me like lightning. It occurred to me one night as I lay in bed next to the husband with which I had a deteriorating relationship: “are there stories about Dave Gahan and Martin Gore…being together??”

Dave Gahan/Martin Gore (Gahore) are in Depeche Mode. They were my 1st ship as an adult. You can read about it here. Obviously Depeche Mode is a band so there is no fictional narrative anywhere to follow. I quickly learned that RP shipping was taboo. However in my shipping community we all shipped the band so I was more or less insulated from it.

I dove in headfirst. I literally couldn’t not do it. It was something my brain needed. Sure I could have forced myself to not go look for it because of some kind of moral (?) imperative which I wasn’t even aware of at the time, but even if I stopped myself, that would not stop my brain from wanting it. Making up stories and scenarios. Finding evidence in videos, songs, interviews, etc. I shipped these two people because of what I had observed between them.

I saw love. So did my shipping friends. We all saw it. I needed to experience it. My life lacked it.

My next RP ship was Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch (FreeBatch). First I fell in love with Sherlock and John, obviously. But then as I started to follow the fandom, I started noticing the same things that others noticed. My brain just went there. I literally had no choice. It’s not as if I could tell my brain “don’t do that”. It would not listen. You can’t tell a starving person to not think about food. In fact telling them that probably makes it worse.

In my personal life, I had been through a breakup with the man I dated after I got divorced, and then I began dating a woman for the 1st time. I really started to relate what I was seeing on the screen and reading on Tumblr and in fic to my own life. I was starting to process my own bisexuality. I started to notice things about Martin and Ben that other people were noticing too. Shipping them helped me navigate that time in my life because I saw myself in it. I related to it. But it wasn't a choice. My brain just went there. Maybe I was Baader-Meinhoffing but even if I was, that doesn’t mean it’s something I didn’t need to explore, work out in my mind, and discover.

Shennant (Michael Sheen and David Tennant) is my 3rd RP ship. Yes I fell in love with Aziraphale and Crowley of course, but again, as I started to follow the fandom and David’s and Michael’s careers specifically, watching interviews, watching Staged, etc, I started noticing the same thing that many others noticed. I literally couldn’t help it. My brain, again, just went there. Also in Staged of course, they play themselves. I have to say that my RP Shipping really took off after I watched them in that. They play themselves. Their actual partners are in it. If one were to write Staged fic, is that not RPF? Where is the line between what is supposed to be okay and what is not?

Again, with this ship, I had big things going on in my personal life. Dad passed away almost a year and a half ago, and now I'm taking care of my elderly mom long distance. It's a huge emotional burden. I'm not dating anyone right now mostly because of that but also because I was in a poly relationship with the male half of a het married couple (longtime friends of mine) that ended extraordinarily painfully (so this was V or chain-style poly not group-sex poly). Since then I've been alone for more than 2 years. I'm still getting over it.

The love I see between Michael and David feels unconditional. I see adoration. If they are indeed in a healthy poly relationship, my god, how on earth did they do that? Even while navigating fame? It’s certainly a lot more difficult than my own situation. I can explore it: What kind of person feels safe to me the way I believe David feels safe with Michael? What kind of relationship can withstand the kind of obstacles they (and I) might face? What would have had to actually happened for them to be as happy as they seem to be? What discussions were had? What agreements were reached? How does one do this the right way? What does that tell me about my own relationship and what went wrong? What should have happened?

This is, in its most academic sense, a tool for my brain to heal and to discover what kind of a relationship I want. And my brain knows it. That’s why it ships. My heart doesn’t know that. It just knows I love seeing them happy together. This is the magnet that drew me.

RP Shipping helps us to work shit out in our personal lives.

I bought Spark edited by Atlin Merrick recently. One of the essays by Angela Nauss, LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) really stood out to me is titled Sympathy for the Devil: Attachment Theory and FanFiction.

The article is about fanfiction authors, however I would extrapolate this to include readers and RP Shippers as well. RP Shippers are authors of narratives in their own mind, even if they are not always written down.

From the book:

“Fanfiction authors process attachment wounds using fictional characters as proxies…to process and understand the origin of the problems encountered during adolescence.”

“Some authors write fanfiction to humanize uncomfortable aspects of their identity, grieve and repair damaged relationships, and process attachment wounds…by exploring how the character would behave in adaptive relationships.”

“Fanfiction authors project their unconscious trauma onto the characters.”

“The characters gain insight into their behavior and no longer feel responsible for their childhood attachment wounds. Through their writing, the author incorporates repressed trauma and attachment wounds into their conscious experience and achieves catharsis.”

“Writing fanfiction is a valid form of therapeutic self-exploration.”

I’ve been in therapy for several years, In fact the poly relationship I was in is why I seeked out therapy in the 1st place. I know that shipping these people, exploring aspects of that, is helping me to heal attachment wounds and the trauma caused by past relationships.

As part of my healing from this poly relationship I was in, I intend to write a meta and/or a fic about David and Michael. I know it will aid in my healing. I may or may not post it.

Also, even Shakespeare wrote RPF.

I’m seeing people say that we RP Shippers are terrible, immoral, disgusting, gross people and that we want David and Michael to leave their partners. That we want to break up their families. Let me be clear that I want nothing of the sort.

There are people out there that want to "protect" them from this “immorality” by shaming us, berating us, calling us names. Even sending certain blogs directly to Georgia and Anna! This is the exact opposite of what actions like this are actually doing. This does not protect them from harm. It creates it.

There is no such thing as thought crime.

Not only is it impossible for me to choose not to ship these people, but I also get the sense that even thinking about it is supposed to be wrong. That it makes me an immoral person.

Something I keep seeing is that people are so upset that we RP Shippers are doing this. Like, why don’t we just, stop. Just look at all the other appropriate characters that are out there to ship! Or just never start in the first place. As if this was a choice we are making to consciously ship real people.

When shippers ship a couple, do they choose that couple consciously? Do they say, hmm, I'm going to ship X person and Y person because it's...logical? Or for whatever consciously thought of reason? I'm going to go out on a limb and speak for mostly all shippers and say no. Shippers ship because we see something in those 2 characters that we are drawn to like magnets, for whatever reason. Real People included. If you're on Tumblr for a fandom and read fic, you know what I'm talking about.

Male/Male relationships is a fetish, or a kink, for me. And by extension, RPS/RPF as well. I do enjoy thinking about what might be the "reality" behind the curtain that we are shown as part of their public personas. This is part of the ingredients to this fetish, or kink, for me.

Kink is defined by Wikipedia as “the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a “bend” (a “kink”) in one’s sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with “straight” or “vanilla” sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour.”

A fetish is defined by Wikipedia as referring “to any sexually arousing stimuli, not all of which meet the medical criteria for fetishism. This broader usage of fetish covers parts or features of the body (including obesity and body modifications), objects, situations and activities (such as smoking or BDSM).”

Generally, modern sexual health thinking seems to say “So long as your fetish doesn’t get in the way of your own well-being, the safety of others, and your partners participate enthusiastically, there is nothing wrong with it.”

It seems to be another taboo to claim gay (or bi/pansexual) men as a fetish, or a kink. There are some who claim that it’s objectifying the very real experiences of gay men. I struggle with this because I can't deny that I enjoy it but I also don't want to hurt anyone.

I am not a gay man. I will never be a gay man. I am a cis bisexual woman. I can never know what that experience is like. This is, in essence, the core of the fantasy. It can feel as good and perfect and romantic and loving as I want it to be because I don’t have the parts or experience to know it first hand. Therefore I've come to the conclusion that my thoughts in my head and anything I write down in a safe space does not hurt anyone. For me personally, it’s a way to disconnect from myself. People enjoy fic for all sorts of reasons. I shouldn’t have to prove that my reasons are "wholesome" to be allowed to enjoy it.

I don’t enjoy reading het fiction for reasons I won’t go into, however they are probably not individual to just me alone. Hoards of women like me also enjoy the same thing.

So yeah. To the surprise of absolutely no one, thinking about Michael and David, or Martin and Ben, or Dave and Martin, or men in general, kissing or having sex or a romance with each other – turns me on. That leads me to state the following:

Anti-RP Shipping and Anti-RP Fiction is kink shaming.

When I say "Anti", I'm referring to those who loudly object to it. Not those who (thankfully) say "that's not for me" and move on. Just like I would with say, Omegaverse.

Because my interpretation of these real people is in reality, “fiction” in my own head, then by definition all RP Shipping is RP Fiction. It cannot be reality because I don’t know them. Therefore any stories, speculation, comments, analysis, conclusions, art, etc, IS ALL FICTION.

Real people are characters to your brain.

Obviously I don’t know them personally, so anything that I were to believe or create in my head about them is by definition, fiction. My brain makes it up according to what I’ve seen, read, heard, observed and drew conclusions from. This creates a fictional reality for my brain to consume. It can’t be reality because I don’t know them.

Wikipedia says RPF writers are “building a fictional universe based on the supposed real-life histories of their idols. Information from interviews, documentaries, music videos, and other publicity sources are assimilated into the stories. It is also very popular to write fiction about celebrity couples. Communities of writers build collective archetypes based on the celebrities' public personas".

I would never, under any circumstances, present any RPS/RPF questions, stories, insinuations, or even mention it at all directly to the actors/musicians/personalities or their partners or even anyone associated with them. I would be beyond embarrassed to do so. Even though Michael himself seems to be accepting of it, I would never present it to him. Never. (I mean it’s not like I could really anyway but still).

I believe that 99.9% of RP Shippers would do the same. It’s the .01% that have done so (and unscrupulous “journalists” looking to shock by asking questions/showing them the RPF, and those people claiming to prevent harm by sending it directly to them “for legal action” or tattletale “look at what these terrible people are doing” and blaming the RP shippers for creating it – wow talk about projection) -that make a bad name for us all. Showing it to them and asking them about it IS a choice.

If RP Shipping is not a choice, a way to work out personal mental health issues, is fictional by definition, and a non-pathological aid to sexual excitement that hurts no one if it is contained within safe spaces such as fic sites and Tumblr, then what exactly is the harm?

Tumblr is a safe space.

Why is there such vitriol against RP Shipping and RPF? You claim to be protecting the actors or people in question, but by raising your voices so loudly in various ways, you are harming the very person you claim to be protecting. I think you have to ask what it is within yourself that makes you so aggressively hate this? Why can't we just say "that's not for me" and move on?

Don't we on Tumblr and on AO3 celebrate non-mainstream ideas such as this? Or if not celebrate, at least live and let live. The fact is that Tumblr is supposed to be a safe space. I should feel safe speaking my mind here. I know quite a few RP shippers follow me so I don't feel completely alone, but I don't feel entirely safe posting this.

My morality is not yours to police.

I strongly doubt I’ll be changing anyone’s mind with this. If you’re Anti RP shipping and Anti RPF you’re probably going to stay that way.

Don’t like, don’t read.

You can unfollow, block people, block tags, filter tags on AO3...any number of things. Think of it like a trigger. Just please don't spew hate.

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