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sineala · 2 years

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Captain America/Iron Man: Invasion Force

Hi, internet! I'd like to tell you the story of how I discovered a glorious piece of new 616 Steve/Tony canon that has somehow remained unknown to us for twenty-four years! A lost treasure! And it's great.

So for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, a couple days ago I was looking for digital versions of the recent Captain America/Iron Man miniseries. (Yes, I legally own it in issues, trade, and digitally. I own it many times.) And those came up, all right. But what also came up was something I'd literally never heard of, called Captain America/Iron Man: Invasion Force. And I thought this was weird because, as a Steve/Tony fan, I figured I'd heard of all the Steve/Tony miniseries there were, right? But this was new. This was a four-issue team-up miniseries I had never even heard of and here it was on the internet. I'm not going to link it, but if you like to, um, read comics online, you know what I mean, right?

The upload dates on this thing were this April, but the miniseries was dated 1998. At this point I was wondering how in the world there was a Volume 3 Steve/Tony team-up I'd never heard of. And then I clicked on it and it was even weirder, because it was a bunch of tiny blurry lo-res screenshots of a comic being displayed panel by panel in a program I didn't recognize. But it definitely looked like 1998-era Steve & Tony art; it was clearly a legit comic.

We have so very, very few actual Steve/Tony team-up comics and so finding a brand new one that none of us had ever heard of before was a treat. And it's actually a fun read! This is delightful!

So I did some digging (and also Magic did some digging) and it turns out that this is from a long-defunct free digital comics line that Marvel ran from 1996 to 2000, consisting of what they called Marvel CyberComics, which is the most 1996 name I have ever heard. I hear modem dial-up noises in my head when I read that. CyberComics were new original comics for a wide variety of superheroes that were basically comics that had been lightly animated as Shockwave files, with some sound effects.

Eventually Marvel took those down from their website and I gather that they don't have the source files anymore, but, according to a 2011 CBR article, the guy who wrote a lot of them, D. G. Chichester, did in fact still have the source files, and in 2011 he put the Cap/IM one up on YouTube (1, 2, 3, 4). And from then on they languished in obscurity -- as of yesterday I think Part 4 had something like 24 views -- and then a couple months ago someone screenshot all of them, and here we are.

(They are hard to read, especially on the YouTube version -- you can zoom in a whole lot on the RCO screenshots -- but the YouTube version preserves the animation, so it's more fun in that respect. The first video doesn’t have sound, but the rest do.)

Captain America/Iron Man: Invasion Force is pretty fun. 1998 is one of my very favorite time periods for Steve & Tony and I am so excited that there is an entire brand-new team-up miniseries from that era of them being friends and punching aliens together. They have some nice banter and it's a fun team-up and they have each other's backs the whole way through and the ending is nice and happy and it's a fun read and I am just so happy that there is new Steve & Tony content from my favorite era. It is a shiny new present for all of us.

Also, if you are a Steve/Tony fan, you will probably enjoy the beginning of the first issue a whole lot.

We open with Tony and the beautiful woman he has taken on his yacht, because of course he has a yacht. They are having a great time together and are clearly interested in having an even better time in the near future, at which point Steve shows up at Tony's yacht to interrupt his hot date and tell him that they have to go meet aliens. You know, the plot. So Tony tells his date to head belowdecks and get started without him, although at this point it is pretty obvious he won't be continuing the activity he had planned.

And then Steve apologizes for ruining his date, and the conversation goes like this:

STEVE: Sorry for the visit, Stark. TONY: No, you're not. You live for this "duty calls" routine, Captain America. I hope you're not waiting for me to salute. STEVE: I expect you're saving that for the young lady. TONY: I'll make you a copy of the video. What's this about, soldier?

So I'm reading along, going, okay, okay, Steve's apologizing, that's sweet. Tony's having some snarky banter. And then Steve is MAKING A DIRTY JOKE ABOUT TONY'S BONER???? And in response, Tony is OFFERING TO MAKE HIM A SEX TAPE???????

Like, uh. None of that went where I expected it to go. At all.

And, hey, now we can all enjoy the knowledge that Steve is the kind of guy who likes to make dirty jokes about Tony's dick, and now 616 can join Ults in "list of comics universes where Tony canonically offers a sex tape of himself to Steve." Just bros being bros, uh, watching each other's sex tapes. These guys, internet. I can't even.

I just. Yeah. I'm going to need to contemplate this.

And, honestly, the rest of it is pretty good, too! They team up! They defeat the bad guys! They each have a fun interior monologue about their motivations, and the end is very sweet, as Steve thanks Tony for his help and Tony, uh, offers to buy him a desert island.

Anyway, Invasion Force here is a fun Steve & Tony team-up with some excellent banter, friendship, and fighting aliens together. It is a lost comic from one of my personal favorite Avengers eras, and also it contains some fun commentary on Tony's personal life. I am so glad that we have now refound it and all of Steve/Tony fandom can enjoy it.

#posts i actually wrote

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bigfieldstraveler · 2 years

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Hey guys. That's Alex. Or "weeds-or-wildflowers". Or "insider in orbit" . As some of you know me or remember from twitter or deartv forum.

I just wanted to say i needed to step back from walking dead series and fandom completely because it crushed me bad all recent months were too much misery to add to my already progressive depression and mental health ruined by war in my country. Please tell those like Yana or Amal or Klarka or Valentina or Dying light or anyone from deartv or twitter friends who might be worried that im ok physically and i just deleted twitter and logged out everywhere because being caryler in this fandom became unbearable.

I thought it's gonna be less painful after some time but no. Im not angry or furious or desperated anymore but i think it turned into infinite sadness and i don't think I'll ever overcome this whole "experience" that happened with caryl spinoff with something else. And i don't think ill gonna be as invested ever with anything else.

As to sdcc...i got some thoughts after lurking here and watching whole panel.

Couldn't miss seeing Melissa and as result watched whole thing.

Whole speculating on my part coming from my limited knowledge about some events behind the scenes and official statements or what was said.

- i was happy to see Melissa again. She looked healthy and that's what important. I hope she's as happy as possible in her personal life beyond what happened with spinoff and amc

- she was so sad but im not sure and don't think there's only one reason but mix of things. She was overwhelmed by show ending but at same time it seemed she was uncomfortable.

- yeah during some moments Norman reached to her she seemed uncomfy but i could interpret wrongly.

- but also seemed like she was warming up to him during other moments. So generally mcreedus got me in mixed feelings. I don't feel like im good character judge when it comes to people's body language and actions especially with someone like Norman and Melissa. But impression i got that he either tried to be "seen" as good supportive friend or he really felt guilty and needy for Melissa's support or both. So maybe Melissa's underwhelmed replies to him was her trying to keep distance because she didn't know how sincere he was. As many of us.

- that leads me to speculation that 80% of rumours were truth.

I speculate that's what happened:

1. After fallout of Daryl and Carol bonus episodes especially Carol one, amc decided to change spinoff course and form. And they also started to think about options.

2. Kang " got called to the carpet" by amc and she made quick and sketchy changes into s11 script or at least A part removing some daleah, possible Carol/Leah and caryl interactions out of the picture. Leaving reapers arc almost fully to drive plot.

3.i think in the end of the year caryl spinoff still supposed to happen and Kang was still showrunner. Last time Norman was on noticeable liking spree and public caryl support he posted on December 31st caryl tweet. I believe it was still happening. Then something happened which i believe was his sheldue getting filled and his fiance getting hers that created conflict for Norman to get everything he planned fulfilled. That's where i believe first talks about time/location changes started.

4. Talking about richonne and Rick movies i believe in February Gimple and Kang already worked on bringing them back not through movies but other type of project. Kang who didn't seem to talk about richonne/Michonne since her leaving eventually made huge thread on twitter about richonne even reaching to SG to promote couple in most desirable way for richonne fans possible (SG is much known and opened richonne fanboy)

5. I believe when Andrew visited set in the end of February that's when things became more concrete for richonne and neggie spinoff and less concrete for caryl and that's when sheldue issues became solid problem as Norman was bringing it to amc knowledge he can't do spinoff in that time on that place because he needs to be with his family in France.

6.that's when i believe amc started to think about options without Carol as new caryl spinoff format was already about driving plot to "endgame" point which is Rick reuniting with everyone.

7. I think mcreedus couldn't solve issue and that made their relationship on set more tense that led to fight on set which i believe wasn't as dramatic as some think but it pushed Melissa to step back from spinoff, maybe phrase that she needs a break was said by her as she got tired from all difficulties and misfortunes that came to them and fight with Norman only pushed her to final decision.

8. Richonne fan who i wont name but i guess many know who that was. Who originally found out about caryl spinoff cancellation and upcoming richonne spinoff from Nicotero got it from him during Walker Stalker. GN said at that moment already that caryl spinoff was cancelled because Melissa either "got tired" or "needed a break". So grain of truth is there, in that " she needs a break"

- here i don't think she really wanted a break from playing Carol rather than she needed break from drama behind the scenes. By this speculated order of events i don't think Norman stayed as excited as before after February and i don't think he desired things how they happened and don't think he just wanted to kick her out of his orbit.

- i believe he had idea things gonna work out but they didn't and Melissa saying final no was taken personal and touched his ego.

- following reaction from fandom and carylers especially made it only worse. And his sm childish sometimes deranged activity has some proofs of what i wrote happened.

- here please hear me out. Im not justifying his behaviour or anyone else's. Im trying to understand what drove this man actions from things i observed.

- so i think amc sacrificed Melissa/Carol more easily cuz their contracts weren't equal and they didn't want to lose more losing Norman. His spinoff is still under question.

- Norman would be ok without filming his spinoff but just taking money from contract but amc wouldn't. So here why they made this spinoff in certain location with such unsatisfying conditions for them. It still will be better paid than no spinoff.

- as for future idk what in amc plans regarding caryl. By things i saw at sdcc i don't think things are certain in any way. Caryl either gonna get their ending (happy or else) in the main show or Carol supposed to appear somewhere in twdu just to wrap her and caryl story if Norman not straight out lying there. Melissa's skeptical expression is either her knowing caryl story ends on main show (which can be flashforward as i said) or she just skeptical because she doesn't trust Norman and his words anymore and after that happened if there will be possibility to bring caryl back together as their separate show or her cameo she's not certain they won't fool her and fans again. And even if they wouldn't be able to fool her, fans will be gone already or just won't buy any promises and she won't take advantage to promise anything herself anymore because now she knows she doesn't have any voice to keep promise.

- as for richonne spinoff and else i really don't care. Couple years ago i shipped them and cared about characters when they were still on the show. But now? Don't care about AL or Rick. Richonne dynamic is established romantic but is underwhelming for me personally. Not because established but it seems became stale and Kind of very trivial in bad sense as can be with ship under Gimples direction through years. AK was bit better but still doesn't come to me as interested as she was with caryl during season 10. So i really don't know what they are gonna to explore with richonne there.

Neggie is "chewed plate " of mutual hate which doesn't develop characters so i don't see point of their spinoff either.

Sure these fanbases have lots of invested people for making couple seasons but from art and creative point i dont see point of these spinoff existence.

Caryl was only one that kept me and had most sense. Tales has interesting concept and showrunner whom eps on twd i respect but i wont be watching that any longer.

- that said i want to watch last episodes but only to find out that caryl ended up happily ever after. Even if there stupid travels to Europe and dumb side missions in between.

I just don't believe in quality and sincere love from twd creators to keep things realistic and true to characters.

- as someone said caryl belongs to fans

You all guys are amazing passionate people from all corners of the world. Without you there wouldn't be even possibility considered to continue their dynamic.

Gimple never cared much about caryl since season 6 and im not certain about Kang ( really don't know what that woman really thinks and feels regarding them) so caryl never had much chances if there weren't fans imo.

I remember before they introduced Leah, in same month AK implied that caryl can happen only on spinoff but even that under question. So maybe just maybe we really didn't lose in this.

We don't know what these bosses supposed to do with them in spinoff.

When AL left show and movies were announced Gimple couldn't stop talk how he hopes Daryl will meet Rick again. He never talked about Carol in same way as SG didn't care much about her in twdu back then but i can be wrong. He could plan to give caryl space in their spinoff just to develop them into romance and kill her later just before Daryl will find Rick. Or he just didn't see importance of Carick relationship in general. Just thoughts how things could be unfaithful in way we can't imagine but also there could be other misfortunes in way of that spinoff later during production.

- i just want caryl fans to find peace and sort of happiness even if Melissa won't ever appear as Carol in twdu.

You all deserve better. Please don't fight each other and try to forgive other fans who mistreated Melissa, Carol and our fandom for years. Their souls are shallow, fact they get something or are happy because you're unhappy doesn't mean they will be happy as this in some time in future. I don't wish bad to them i think we really need to forgive them and each other and ppl like SG and Norman more even if it's too hard. But i don't believe this twdu ship gonna be good for long sail.

Please stay healthy sane and wish good miracles to happen for everyone of you and our ship ❤️

#caryl #twd #tw depressing stuff #twd negativity

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regardingjenmish · 2 years

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There was a weird amount of meltdowns/concern trolling about Misha not being announced as a guest at the con yet coming from destiel and Misha fans too. All of the more rational thinking people were trying to get them to calm down and realize that he doesn’t have an exclusivity contract with ce like Jensen and jp do, so of course he wasn’t announced immediately. And also trying to get them to realize that inviting guests from outside spn is a good thing, because that means there’s a chance of shaking up the panels. The same people who constantly complain about how boring cons are because they’re always the same (and I too wish the panels changed up each con to help keep things fresh, especially with no new spn content for the actors to talk about) immediately started complaining about changes being made. Like ???? Do you want change or not? I swear some people in this fandom exist solely to complain about everything, and it’s so frustrating.

I was actually thinking about this since yesterday (i think i even jokingly said to a friend that i hope they bring jack quaid so we have a better j2.0 panel) but I actually do think it’s a possibility that they will bring in some people from maybe TB or that other one (i mean they already kinda did with Keegan). I’m gonna be honest and say I don’t think I would mind it because I do wonder how that would go. Plus if I’m honest, I just want something new from them. New teams of people at panels, separate J panels (and team them up with others ffs). I feel like it would be basically the same as if SPN and TVD did cons together or Lucifer cast (idk these two are the first ones i can think of right now). I think with Honcon they’re gonna be testing what works and what doesn’t so it could go any way. They are obviously aware that spn ended but conventions are gonna continue (hopefully) so they gotta try some new stuff. And Misha is always gonna be a part of it because like it or not, he’s the third lead. But like you said he doesnt have a contract with CE the way Jensen has it and also his projects aren’t directly tied to CW and i think here they will try to bring in projects that aren’t directly tied to that damn network. Which is why they announced him as a ‘highly popular special guest’ (Idk if im making sense anymore)

And as for the fans, unfortunately 70% of them only know how to complain. I wouldn’t pay much attention to them because no matter what they will not be happy.

#anonymous #i really hope im making sense #but if there is any confusion let me know bc i even confused myself at one point

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class1akids · 3 years

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jta in the anime is making me miss the kids and the more lighthearted interactions ahh im happy we at least have this

It’s nice that we have the anime indeed.

I miss the light-hearted moments as well, but what I like even more is when those characters who we normally see joking get also their emotional moments and character development.

It doesn’t ring true to me that Deku would be the only one who “cannot be a child anymore”. All their lives changed, they’ve all seen horrible things, they all suffered losses, they all have decisions to make on why they go on (and actually Deku’s is the least interesting, because he has no choice, duh...) and I’m really sad that we are denied these moments.

And you can of course ask me, but how do you know you won’t get is flashbacks?

Maybe we will get some tiny scraps - but it won’t hit the same way. The further we get from the war, from those very first days of chaos, the less it will work on an emotional level.

Like, if your emotional comfort character is anyone other than Deku, than all you get is hurt / no comfort. Deku got All Might sitting by his bedside holding his hands, tons of hugs from his mom, the full support of the vestiges and the top 3.

Shouto got an off-screened reunion with his mother and an uncomfortable family discussion and got booted out of his own storyline. He got basically no comfort from anyone, as one of the characters worst hit by the war arc.

Bakugou got no family or a good word from anyone, got tied up, got shrugged off by his supposed important mentor, no acknowledgment for almost dying to try to save Deku.

Aizawa got one panel, but no reunion with his class or Eri - the people who kept him going.

Tokoyami was never shown or mentioned by Hawks, after everything he did.

Momo lost two mentors, and we got no follow-up, other than a brief moment at Shouto’s bedside.

I could go on...

#bnha critical #i am so beyond pissed that we didn't get more of the class #and aizawa and mic #after all they've been through #we would have deserved a proper wrap-up

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sarahjtv · 3 years

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BNHA Chapter 307 Spoiler Thoughts: Vigilante Deku

The leaks are out, but this seems like a shorter chapter than what we’ve gotten in a while. On one hand, that kinda sucks because less content for us. On the other, I’m glad because I hope that means that Horikoshi is going easier on himself after working on the manga, 3rd movie, the anime, and the upcoming BNHA exposition over the past couple months. I’m honestly shocked he hasn’t had a break since I think New Years. At this point, I want him to give himself a break. That would be better than have him grind for shorter chapters each week like the Joint Training Arc had when it first came out in Jump (that was torture good god...). Anyway, not too much to say here, so I’m probably gonna keep it short too this week. Again, I probably won’t be 100% correct until the official translations come out on Sunday:

The main 2 characters we see in this chapter are Yo Shindo (Vibration boy) and his GF, Tatami Nakagame (the girl with that weird Telescopic turtle Quirk) from the Provisional Lisence Exam Arc. I hope y’all who voted for Shindo in the popularity poll (I still can’t believe that even happened) are happy he finally made a comeback in this chapter. Only to get his ass kicked later in the chapter LOL.

But really, they are our “Heroes” in this chapter taking heat from the public. Shindo and Nakagame are both officially in their 3rd year of high school, so that basically confirms that the new school year has officially begun. This means that 3rd years like Mirio, Tamaki, and Nejire have officially graduated high school and are probably sidekicks to their respective mentors (we’re not sure where Mirio stands with this yet though)! And our 1-A kids are now 2-A kids! Strange that the last chapter showed them still living the 1-A dorms though, so I wonder when they’ll move to their new dorm rooms. I also wonder if we’ll see the new 1st years. If there are any... Maybe I’m thinking too far into this...

Anyway, Shindo and Nakagame are leading some of the public to their school for shelter, but the citizens aren’t sure about Heroes anymore. I don’t really blame them. Heroes have protected people in the past, but their actions and inactions caused a lot of deaths and lost homes. How can you keep faith in your heroes if they can’t give you 100% reassurance that things will be ok?

Oh, AND FREAKING MUSCULAR IS BACK! And of course he’s out for blood! Shindo tries to go up to stop him like a hero. Though it is a noble effort, he gets absolutely destroyed by Muscular. This kid was 🤏 close to dying. Muscular is that freaking strong!

And I’ve heard word that some fans think that Shindo was attacked because he looks like an older Deku I TOTALLY BUY INTO THAT THEORY HAHA! And we KNOW Muscular is targeting Deku in particular for revenge. Given how Muscular’s intelligence was an E in the Ultra Analysis book (if I remember correctly), I’m not surprised he made this mistake. NGL, I kinda feel bad for Shindo here. Kinda.

And the final panel shows Deku in what is basically his vigilante costume AND HE LOOKS SO BADASS IM HERE FOR THIS SHIT!!! His costume is all ripped up and ruffled AND HE’S FINALLY FULLY WEARING HIS BUNNY HOOD AND METAL MASK LIKE HE’S SUPPOSED TO HELL YEAH!!! Those two pieces of his costume have just been hanging there for a majority of the series and we rarely ever see them in action, so I’m so glad to see them in use here. Also, I noticed that Deku’s vigilante costume looks a lot like his beta costume from the early drafts of the series. The menacing look to it especially brings this home. I wouldn’t be surprised if Horikoshi took inspiration from his earlier ideas for this. He’s done it before with Mt. Lady and Yui Kodai (1-B’s Size Girl) who were both early concepts for Ochaco Uraraka.

Finally, Deku being here confirms two things:

1. He’s still in Japan. He is not in the States like some of us thought (myself included). Ngl, I would’ve loved to see Deku in America doing American things, but it makes sense that he would stay in Japan since this is where the villains broke out of. He needs to stay to protect his home.

2. We have not made a massive time-skip like some people thought. If the war arc ended at the end of March, that means that we’re at lest 1-3 weeks ahead if the new school year has started. I’m really glad we didn’t make a big jump in time. We need to see what Deku’s up to as a vigilante right now. We also need to know of what happened during this time. Also, since he’s still in Japan, Deku shouldn’t be too hard to find. At least for those closest to him.

Speaking of, WHERE ARE BAKUGO AND SHOTO??? Deku’s 2 closest friends are still nowhere to be found! I want to see our boys! I want to know what they’ll do. I still have no doubt that they’ll go after Deku eventually, especially Bakugo and maybe Ochaco. I think Shoto will join in the Deku search too honestly. If Deku’s presence can drag the villains out, then maybe he can drag Dabi out? Especially if Shigaraki decides to go after him. Kill 2 birds with one stone sort of thing. I just want to see Shoto again in general haha 💙!

And that’s pretty much it! Again, shorter chapter so I hope Horikoshi is getting some rest for himself (Edit: Fan Scans are out and I counted 16 pages this week. That’s like 1-2 pages shorter than usual, so it’s not that short. Still hope Horikoshi gets some rest though). Apparently we’re still getting a chapter next week though. I hope our mangaka doesn’t burn himself out. Though I’m soooooooo excited to see Deku’s vigilante adventures and I hope he absolutely folds Muscular in the next couple of chapters now that’s he’s stronger. I need to see Vigilante Deku throw hands! Please let me see that!

Me @ Shindo:

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ramuoto · 4 years

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TOP 10 MANHWAs

if anything good came out of 2020, it’s my discovery of manhwas.

well, it’s not like i’ve never read a single manhwa in the past 15+ years but tbh, the ratio of manhwa:manga i consume on a weekly basis has jumped exponentially this year. previously it was like 1:99 and now it’s like 90:10 LMAO.

so, just to remind myself that the world is still full of good things, i had to make this list. which i will probably edit in the future, if i can be bothered to. :)

anyhow, this list was not made in any particular order, just whichever came into mind. it’s loooong so be prepared! (I’ve read way more titles than mentioned but just included the ones worth checking out)

for whoever stumbles across this list, i hope some of these resonate with you and i hope they make you as happy as they made me.

pic credits: https://geekculture.co/geeks-guide-to-transmigration-novels-avoid-death-at-all-costs/

1. Ebony

https://mangadex.org/title/41838/ebony

Bahahah omg he looks evil there! But our dearest archduke is hardly that aww. Soz, I just ripped off the covers of the manhwa cos I can’t find a panel I liked more than another. I mean, this manhwa is a GEM. I can’t even begin to describe this because everything about it blew me away. This is not something you read when you are craving for fluff, or just wanna have something brainless after a hard day at work or if you just wanna have some eye candy lol. This is something you pick up on a weekend, when you have time, because you need those hours to digest, appreciate, clutch your chest, tear a little because you find yourself falling in love with these characters. It doesn’t have any of that cliche isekai, romance, revenge themes going on. It has a solid plot, backed by incredible characters, beautifully woven by the authors and artist with incredible pacing that keeps you on your toes and keeps you looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe I would have been happier if I found it after it was completed lol. HAVE I CONVINCED YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANNA READ IT?! like, idk, just go. JUST GO READ IT GDI.

p.s. it says there romance but naaaaaaah, dont go in with that expectation. :) this story is so much more than that.

2. Bring the love

https://mangadex.org/title/44472/bring-the-love

This...this!!! THIS MANHWA NEEDS MORE LOVE. If you need a lot of fluff, a little, ok maybe quite a bit of sadness and tragedy, sweet sweet romance, cutie pies, please, look no further!!! Again, pacing, character development are so important to me and this manhwa aces it. I love the 2 MCs very much. And the side characters too. :)

3. A Stepmother's Märchen

https://mangadex.org/title/39474/a-stepmother-s-m-rchen

When I first read this, i fucking cried. like please don’t ask me why. it’s not like its an absolute tragedy but I was just rooting for the MC so much and I really want for everything to go her way. That’s how much I adore this MC!!! I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO NORA! HAHAHHA. okay soz. I need to keep this spoiler-free.

Anyhoo, there is nothing typical about this time travel plot. Sure, she goes back to try to undo the stuff that went wrong but phew, she certainly changed things so much everything that comes her way have made it so her previous experiences can hardly help aaaaaaand that’s what makes it fun! I sometimes wish the pacing could be a little more consistent, and there could be more characters I could love a little more wholeheartedly (so i wont have to be in so much despair when i read this sometimes lol) but omg the art, isn’t it pretty?! I’ve re-read this soooooo many times but the art blows me away all the time. And have I already mentioned how much I love her?! I LOVE YOU SHULI! AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

4. Lady Baby

https://mangadex.org/title/34691/lady-baby

I literally LOL-ed when I saw this cover. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY. WHAT LADY BABY?! ehehehe. okay anyway, uhm, this is already incredibly popular. im not sure if i need to elaborate but yes, it’s adorbs!!! i dont think i like the MC as much as i love her family lol. and everyone else who adores her. im looking forward to when they get older. :) actually not really. please stay cute for as long as yall can! but yeah, i do wish the plot can move a lil faster. i want to see more character development in the other kids too COME ON!

5. Death Is the Only Ending for the Villainess

https://mangadex.org/title/47754/death-is-the-only-ending-for-the-villainess

am i allowed to reveal how shallow i am rn? like the previous choices were all like ‘wow-deep-plot’, ‘wow-character-development’ and this one i just included cos of AESTHETICS ALONE?! the novel covers are breathtaking!!! the manhwa art is amazing as well. and the harem is great! LOL. as for plot... uhm... it’s alright. it’s pretty engaging and i quite like the MC, she’s smart and independent and i love how she views them all antagonistically at all times HAHAHHA. her past is kinda... weird though and i do wish they’d stop referencing it. cos... girl why do you wanna go back to reality!!! stay here! it’s way more exciting!

i love the whole isekai/reincarnate/transmigration theme and this is honestly one of the better, not-so-cliche or cheesy ones HA.

6. Beware of the Villainess!

https://mangadex.org/title/47286/beware-of-the-villainess

do you already see the whole villainess theme?! am i suppose to start feeling embarrassed about my choices?! NO! cos this one is AWESOME!

again, another wildly popular title. for good reasons. it’s hilarious, our MC is as real and candid as it gets and LOOK AT THAT BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY. DO YOU SEE HIM?! IMPLANT HIM INTO YOUR MEMORY NOW!

it’s highly entertaining and breaks all isekai-reincarnation-villainess plot stereotypes. definitely one of the titles i look forward to every week.

7. Who Made Me a Princess

https://mangadex.org/title/32506/who-made-me-a-princess

what? why did i choose this?

BECAUSE OF CLAUDE OF COURSE. ahahaha. okay aside from the amaaaaaaazing art and the beautiful people, the plot is not too bad. a little extreme at times but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. it’s currently on hiatus though and i was highly annoyed by how the first season ended. (YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.)

i hope the plot can move faster in the next season! and that our dearest MC athanasia can you know, finally be a little more useful... like omg just tell lucas already!!! and tbh girl, no matter which guy you choose, i approve. :D

8. The Flower That Was Bloomed by a Cloud

https://mangadex.org/title/37648/the-flower-that-was-bloomed-by-a-cloud

i featured this before, mostly out of frustration HAHAHA. do you see why i chose this cover?! yeah, i support this (unpopular) pairing okay! the other one is doomed!!! no matter what the author is trying to do now!! I DONT SUPPORT IT!!! lol.

anyway, i had to feature this cos the art is unique! and the story is great. :) and i looooooove listening to the ost while i read it. it starts out kinda slow but as the pace picks up, you won’t be able to stop. and you find yourself conflicted at various points. it did win an award for a reason.

no matter what, i still think dowun is best for her okay. it’s dowun or nothing. he’s devoted to her, we all know that! he just needs to ditch that annoying female guard!!! ok yknw what, maybe nothing is better. :/ *cries*

9. Solo Leveling

https://mangadex.org/title/31477/solo-leveling

why do i even bother? this manhwa is popular enough.

the art is great. the MC is great. i use him and his gang as my wallpaper.

im just not sure i like how this season’s plot is progressing. :/ but i guess it brings us nearer to solving the mystery in the first leg of the manhwa. i just enjoyed the whole part of him leveling up and now that he isn’t really leveling up anymore... idk. am i hoping for more plot shit like bleach (oh wow now u quincy?)... idk man. anywho, no regrets starting on this series and marathon-ing it to death.

cross fingers the plot picks up and doesnt get too complicated for its own good.

10. The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

https://mangadex.org/title/31606/the-reason-why-raeliana-ended-up-at-the-duke-s-mansion

okay, tbh, by the time i reached 10, i still have like 15 other series i was considering LMAO. i even considered lengthening this top 10 to top 15. but that would just be more of me and my nonsense. so... why did i choose this?

COS I LOVE THE 2 MCs!!! they’re adorable. the plot is again, kinda far-fetched at times (i literally laugh my head off at some parts) but it’s isekai-reincarnation okay! anything is possible in whatever magical crap country you end up in! lol. and i like how straightforward it is... in the sense there’s no 2nd lead. like okay i mean they are there but we all know they have no chance. oops. sorry!

and cos i can’t give up on the other titles i have, imma just list them down, without pictures... cos im tired. HA.

11. Doctor Elise

https://mangadex.org/title/29474/doctor-elise

Kudos to the huge improvement in art style lmao. The good... lovable MCs, engaging plot. The bad... sometimes lengthy, incredulous medical moments (i work in the medical field so i... idk. sometimes this borders on iryu LMAO and i need to remind myself this is romance) otherwise, this is a highly highly entertaining read.

12. Seduce the Villain's Father

https://mangadex.org/title/46775/seduce-the-villain-s-father

This is another of my ‘father-love’ whims. MC is adorable and ML is handsome. enough said.

13. The Villainess Lives Twice

https://mangadex.org/title/49644/the-villainess-lives-twice

This is like a lesser version of Ebony and Bring the Love combined HAHAHA. The plot and premise is great and it’s awesome to marathon! I don’t find myself loving the MC as much as I should but the ML is a darling! I just find her a little toooooooo gloomy. Like come on girl, be more spunky!

14. The Stereotypical Life of a Reincarnated Lady

https://mangadex.org/title/46790/the-stereotypical-life-of-a-reincarnated-lady

I dont know why I like this so much HAHAHAHA. It hardly has a plot. I just find the MC and ML amusing i guess lol.

15. I'm Stanning the Prince

https://mangadex.org/title/45586/i-m-stanning-the-prince

Sometimes I wonder if I should be ranking this higher but I kinda feel this manhwa is trying to achieve too much with an underpowered MC. I love her... but I just don’t like how she’s just a pawn of everyone else and I dont know how she can change this situation of hers. It’s cute though. the MC and ML. and the ML reminds me so much of american/jap Mackenyu.

16. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

I HAD TO. the art is so pretty! but girl, dont use the hour glass so much! you look a little too old! i would appreciate it if MC stops basing too much of her moves on the “past” tho like idk you are gonna sound unoriginal soooooon like develop your own thoughts soon okay? <3

17. Inso's Law

ANOTHER ONE. omg. im a lil on the fence regarding this but i like MC too much. and her harem LOL. i dont see where the plot is going either but i just hope for a happy end... ):

18. Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

HAHAHA. this is sooooo sooooooo cute, i would have ranked it top 15 if it wasnt licensed by tapas tho cos they are a joke. WHY NOT TAPPY GDI.

19. Miss Not-So Sidekick

Uh-oh. Is this a top-20 list now? anyway, the MC for this series is GOLD. im not liking where it’s currently heading tho thus the lower ranking.

20. IRIS - Lady with a Smartphone

omg IVE NEGLECTED THIS FOR TOO LONG. lemme go buy more chapters hahahaha. it’s a tad too lengthy... otherwise i like the MC and yummy ML!

still not enough?

Special Mentions - Okay, these will be unranked cos I don’t think these are that good but probably still worth a read.

I've Become the Villainous Empress of a Novel - this is new, im looking forward to how it progresses wheeeee.

Lady to Queen - It’s a ruthless manhwa. There was a point i started reading all sorts of sadistic content (i was running out of content i swear) and this was one of the better ones. I appreciate the MC very much. the plot now is a little weird and im a bit wary of the MC’s sister... hopefully the ML can be more useful. he’s pitiful though. but dude come on, dont rely on the wrong gal.

Goodbye, In-law - I’m not sure if i like the current progress buuuuuuut MC and ML are cute so who cares.

The Duchess' 50 Tea Recipes - plot is still engaging. MC and ML are cute. i dont know where the plot is heading towards though.

A Falling Cohabitation - this is interesting and fun but a lil lengthy.

Light and Shadow - the sequel is out!!! i highly enjoyed this entire series!!! i would have probably ranked it a lil higher if i did this post earlier but too many series have overtaken this in my heart lol.

This Girl Is a Little Wild - is the hiatus ending yet? i would add it back to top 20 if it came back LOL. it’s highly entertaining tho. ML is adorable.

The Duchess With an Empty Soul - pretty nice. MC and ML are a little boring. i think it can end soon. LMAO.

A Capable Maid - it’s amusing how she gets her powers for all sorts of situations lol. the prince is creepy tbh. and im secretly rooting for the other king hehe.

Beware of the Brothers! - it’s cute and heart-wrenching at the same time! not too sure im digging the latest plot development but okay... i’ll take it. they’re all cuties.

Living as the Tyrant's Older Sister - hehehe. it’s cute. duke is kinda silly but the latest chapter made me squeal!!!

The Evil Lady's Hero - idk where the plot is going but MC and ML are adorable!!!

The Dragon Next Door - HAHAHA. it’s hilarious.

The Youngest Princess - she’s growing uppppp noooooooooooo

Virtues of the Villainess - ginger is hilarious. i dont see where the plot is going tho... and cant say i like the ML yet. i dont even get to see him much, hello?!

The Justice of Villainous Woman - pretty wholesome... i like the MC! (the ML is fine. no one else to contend with so...) can u end already?! lol.

Amina of the Lamp - hey, what happened to this? it’s pretty inconsistent but i do like the MC and ML... and the art...

The Villain's Savior - this is some sadistic shit. i reserve it for when i feel sadistic. i pretty much wanna see MC happy but idk if she’s making the right choices. :/

I Don't Want to Be Empress! - HAHAHAHA uhm it’s getting interesting. i just want ML to step up more...

La dolce vita di Adelaide - I FINISHED THIS! and it’s wholesome, feel-good and cute. some parts felt a lil extra but ah whatever.

The Black Haired Princess - plot. move. faster!!! otherwise the MC and ML are pretty cute.

The Abandoned Empress - im a lil on the fence but i know how popular this series is. it started out HORRIBLE. i hated the ML so much. and then i found the green hair boy creepy. like MC, you need better taste in boys. it’s certainly getting more interesting now though. so please, continue to make my money’s worth!!!

Lucia - i. am. not. guilty. of. anything. *smut warning* anyway go read the novel. it’s better. hehehe.

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim - i do not need to elaborate any further.

Past loves

I created this section just to remind myself, that what i could like one day, i could hate the next LOL.

The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess - I know this is wildly popular. but i lost interest in it once she grew up. i dont think she’s particularly lovable. soz.

Survive as the Hero's Wife - another popular choice. I find the plot kinda boring now. MC and ML are cute though.

Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid - another popular one. again, boring plot. like cant it end yet? oh you mean we need to wait for the real female lead to show up? dont need luh.

I Am a Child of This House - wow. the plot is shit now. and i do not support the MC and her guard. soz. she’s OVERPOWERED tbh.

This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage - idk what happened but my enthusiasm for this died.

Charlotte and Her 5 Disciples - i don’t get it. i dont get their obsession for her.

#manhwa #fav manhwa #ebony #bring the love #a stepmother's marchen #lady baby #death is the only ending for the villainess #beware of the villainess #who made me a princess #the flower that was bloomed by a cloud #solo leveling #the reason why raeliana ended up at the duke's mansion

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stray-tori · 3 years

Text

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :(((

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message

why

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

#an innocent sin #dohye x noah #noah x dohye #long post #tori talks #tori has opinions #reactions #yes I do this often in our dms #poor mei #toriqueue

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cogtortion · 3 years

Text

I want to...

Type slightly faster than I can think a good way to ruin a good brainstorm is to make it wait for your fingers to catch up. As far as free flowing thought goes I think I will need to achieve 110-120 words per minute, at least. This should be easier to accomplish if I do not bog myself down with being forced to type with proper grammar, spelling, punctuation etc - thats not needed in a brainstorm-to-paper situation, and as long as you get your point accross [to yourself] and can understand the thought reading it later, there is no reason to slow your mind down just to let the fingers add a comma, capitalize something, or make sure it a proper sentence. This may have been defined already but I am going to call it Draftstorming, it what would come before a rough draft. It’s something for your eyes specifically, since you know how you will interperit oddly worded sentences with shortened words or bad grammar, you dont have to word it like you are explaining a thought to someone else - you already understand what you mean, so shortcuts in typing are fine! Edit later, if you need to share it, work it into a rough draft, but during draftstorming do not worry about gramma, spelling, etc. Just keep up with your brain, even if it means shortening words or spelling awkwardly. Don’t ruin your train of thought because you are trying to spell the word “awkwardly”!

Actually understand how to properly take advantage and use AWS, what the different services do, and not have to fumble my way through hoping I can wing it. I have too many good ideas that just need to combine some new-ish server/service magic to make possible. Some of my ideas just simply cant be realized with a plain server or hosting package anymore. AWS just has so many interesting things that seem magical, it seems like if someone knew what they were doing on AWS, could code, and design, they could pull off some awesome tech wizardry. I want to be a wizard. Hey at least I can [kind of] code and design already!

Build a habit to meditate [suggested book] mostly for the desire to more quickly and ably change my state of my consciously overall. To get “in the zone” on a project can take hours. Using meditation we could speed up this process and many other immensly. Even meditating just for 10 or 20 minutes a day, there is nothing but an upside over time 24/7. Many types of meditation to consider, we would be coming at it not in a spiritual sense or to lower anxiety, but to increase our ability to better control our emotion and train of thought during our life. I think I’d be happy with 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes before bed, or in the evening. Thats enough time im willing to give up for the permanent benefits, but to build a habit, just start, doesnt matter how long you manage to meditate, youll do better each time. It will feel forced at first and real life changes I could notice would take at best weeks, but likely months, but if you can force the habit for the time then when the payoffs start coming, it will be great time invested. You have to stick to it through the first parts the best you can, its a learning process. Just imagine if you could sit down to work and through the slight training, get in that mode within minutes, and just manage your control over emotions so that being able to change that state to what is needed or wanted. Without the meditation practice, so much of your time is wasted quieting down thr brain of thoughts that hinder your productivity, creativity, and so much more. /ramble

I want to create a web based VR coding environment. Sort of like the video editor Loiloscope, but 360, where each file can be slid around, zoomed bigger or smaller, and maybe grouped or linked in a cloud, selecting a file makes it large enough for editing, etc. [added 6/29/2021]

I want to create a simple type training game. Something like nitrotype but more options, I’d love it to be focused on coding too, since basically all type training games ignore the characters we need to use the most, { ( [ < ; > ] ) } etc. But would also love to be able to train speed typing where punctuation and whatnot are not needed. [added 7/1/2021]

Build a version of default google chrome homescreen - Where sites/links can be added, but also organized into folders if needed. Some way to make a quick page of sites you want to access quickly but without a limit, yet some way to still make it very quick to navigate no matter how many things you add. Can be offline, done as a personal tool and in the future a sort of admin panel for life. or something. [added 7/1/2021]

Get better at coding - Using exercism.io to learn new languages and codewars.com to build skills off of it and dive deeper, along with other sites of course. [added 7/1/2021]

I want to add to this list - this is the placeholder [added //2021]

#want #goals #wishes

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

Note

thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers ! another ask for u : im soo afraid in the next chapter momo will be homophobic towards ht !! I mean except Zzx who seems at ease with his sexuality, the other boys all seem kind of homophobic. Jy called ht repulsive bc he called him pretty while he was a guy, Ht is very agressive in his advances (which i linked to toxic virility which entails homophobia) ; then both of them changed for the better bc of their feelings for another man. 1/?

Good evening, dear anon-san!

“thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers !”

I’m glad you’ve enjoyed them! Every time people send me questions it always makes me happy and to be honest, a bit taken aback because I’m just a little old me. But I’m glad my answers have had such a positive reception and given people food for thought. And it’s always a pleasant surprise when people feel like they can come to my ask box with their interpretations and strike up a conversation.

Homophobia is a very complex topic, and I wondered where I should start to unravel this ask. But soon I realized before I can even begin that I have to take a moment to sort out my own feelings. Whenever people say the boys in 19 Days are abusive or homophobic for whatever reason I tend to get ticked off. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, often sparked by my own bias, but something that can very easily cloud my answer and make it unfair for you. Exchanging interpretations and perspectives requires a level of objectivity and the ability to rise above your own bias. I can’t dismiss something just because it uncomfortably pokes my nerve. Instead, I should take a step back, try and see things from another point of view, and find some common ground.

I’m not saying I had to struggle to agree with you on anything but your ask certainly reminded me of how challenging yet rewarding it is to actually listen to an interpretation that differs from my own and try to objectively look at the story from that point of view. It hurts your brain at first but is surprisingly freeing in the end.

Because you addressed so many things in your ask, I will tie my answer together under the theme of homophobia and give it some structure that way. This will be my great 19 Days - homophobia edition. \(^v^)/

Sexual orientation and environment

Let’s start with the biggest context you brought up in your ask: social and cultural environment. I’m not familiar enough with Chinese culture to have anything definite to say about its attitude towards LGBT people. Of course, I’ve heard of the discrimination and even blatant hate by their government but I don’t have any idea about how ordinary, modern-day Chinese people view others with different sexual orientations. Not to mention, it’s always risky to take fictional works as an accurate representation of the milieu in which they’re set.

But I do think that 19 Days discusses homophobia in societies, though on a more general level. As Jian Yi has come to realize his feelings towards Zhan Zheng Xi, we’ve also gotten glimpses of his struggles. They’re surrounded by other kids in school, and from the very early chapters it’s been implied two guys being that close together or comfortable with that level of skinship turns people’s heads (ch. 53, 54, 55, and 57):

Of course, those panels also poke fun at the stereotype of girls being interested in cute guys being cute together. The girls stare, take pictures, and even smile knowingly. This bothered ZZX because it put him in awkward situations and created misunderstandings that would be embarrassing to correct. And the more he would try to deny and correct them, the more he would probably end up looking suspicious. But the bottom line is, he was increasingly conscious of the weird looks and attention JY’s antics were attracting and didn’t want people to get the wrong picture of his friendship with JY. All of that could give us some hints on how two boys being close might be viewed by their peers, but it should also be kept in mind that those kinds of “gay panic” moments are a big part of the humor you find in 19 Days.

Having a crush on someone of the same gender gets more serious tones after JY kissed ZZX (ch. 142)

The secret was finally out in the open. JY had carried his feelings in his heart for a long time. He had wanted to confess them so many times and often hidden them behind jokes and antics. Perhaps every time he had jumped to hug ZZX he had caught a whiff of his scent and enjoyed the feeling of him in his arms. But to take the definite last step of confessing and lifting that curtain had always terrified him. And who wouldn’t have been scared? Not only would you have to come out but also risk losing your childhood best friend. It could be JY had even thought of never telling ZZX about his feelings because it could go horribly wrong.

For a while, things are somewhat put on pause after the first reveal which I found very realistic. JY wasn’t flat-out rejected but ZZX most definitely needed a moment to sort out his own feelings. He pestered JY to be straight with him (pun not intended...) and made it clear it would be safe for JY to rely on him and free himself of the burden. Despite that JY was still very unsure if his confession won’t result in ZZX abandoning him because “gay” is abnormal and disgusting (ch. 164):

Even when JY finally confessed he was expecting to be rejected in disgust (ch. 209):

But he had sort of reached the point of just finally getting it all out even if ZZX wouldn’t return his feelings. Even if it meant they wouldn’t be friends anymore. At least he had said it. He had heartbreakingly little faith that their kind of relationship wouldn’t be completely doomed. Thank god he had fallen for someone like ZZX. I don’t think I’ve never been as grateful for a character like him before.

A tangible example of how Zhanyi and their environment collided was Xiao Hui’s character (ch. 158):

When she called JY a disgusting gay, it was the first time he was facing that kind of homophobia. Though her actions were frustrating, I think Xiao Hui’s character was a good addition to Zhanyi. At first, she lashed out both because she was hurt and publicly humiliated but also no doubt because she had internalized the idea that heterosexuality was the norm and anything else was abnormal and wrong. Later on, she had had time to lick her wounds and calm down (ch. 258):

She still has a crush on ZZX but even though she probably realizes she doesn’t have a chance she still wants a clear rejection from ZZX. It still hurts and stings but doesn’t upset her as much. It could even be she’s a little happy for them. I think Xiao Hui’s character is a good example that people are capable of changing and reflecting when they’re given a chance. And no one should be forever held accountable and punished for the mistakes they made and have since bettered themselves.

In a broader sense, I think Zhanyi also discusses what kind of future a same-sex couple could have in society (ch. 268):

That drawing on the wall is my favorite Zhanyi moment. As cute as ZZX drawing him and JY together was, it also carries some bittersweet undertones. The original drawing represents the norm: a boy and a girl in love but if there are no skirts involved, it’s a whole other story. To be open about their relationship would most probably never be an option for JY and ZZX. Something as simple as holding hands in public would take courage and threaten to complicate other aspects of their lives (school, work, family). They don’t have the same privilege as straight people to openly and safely share their feelings and have that universal experience.

Your ask was mainly about Mo Guan Shan and He Tian, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about their environment since you also referred to it. And the easiest way for that seemed to be to talk about the progress of Zhanyi. As you suggested, it does seem the society in which all of the characters live is very much heteronormative which puts pressure on the characters to fit in. And if they fail that, they will face homophobia and most probably feel the need to hide their true selves. Case in point, Zhanyi.

Boys being boys

As much as I know that phrase is deemed Problematic™ these days, I think it fits the dynamics of the boys of 19 Days. They mess with each other, and all of that is typical humor for the comic. Personally, I’ve never taken any of their teasing and good-natured bullying seriously because it’s how 15-year-old boys are around each other.

However, I just finished talking about the environment under which influences and discourses the boys have grown up. I don’t feel like I can ignore what I had just been saying and brush it off as “oh well, they’re just boys” if they’ve always been surrounded by certain attitudes. Does that mean the boys have also internalized those attitudes towards gay people despite having feelings for someone of the same sex? Does that make them a representation of toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia?

In all honesty, I’m struggling to answer those questions. On one hand, I do agree that society’s norms of what is masculine put a lot of pressure on boys when growing up. You have to act, talk, dress, and be in a certain way to be accepted, and it doesn’t take a lot for kids to internalize those ideas. And as you said, acting or looking gay (not to mention, actually being one) is probably the worst a young boy could be. Being gay is often linked to everything a proper man shouldn’t be: sissy, effeminate, sensitive, weak, submissive, on the bottom. The list goes on and on.

On the other hand, do I think you can see that in the four main boys of 19 Days? I suppose it’s possible if that’s the direction you want to take. If you look at anything through those lenses, you can probably find toxic masculinity everywhere. Do I think HT, MGS, JY and ZZX are homophobic because they possibly showcase traits of toxic masculinity? I guess. I don’t know. I see where that interpretation comes from, but some part of my brain never manages to make the full connection between those two. I’m constantly having a feeling that my way of thinking differs from your interpretation but I can’t properly validate or argue my opinions.

Perhaps taking a look at the examples you mentioned might help. You talked about JY being homophobic when this was his response to HT calling him good looking (ch. 108):

I can’t exactly deny that panel couldn’t be taken as toxic masculinity. I might even agree with you on that. I wouldn’t probably go as far as saying JY was being homophobic but it does seem like his masculinity was threatened or questioned in that situation. Interestingly, I’ve seen that phrase pop up a lot in yaoi/shounen-ai comics. Characters who are in a gay relationship don’t often feel comfortable with guys complimenting them - or even the guy they’re in love with. I’ve always wondered that. Does that mean there’s a level of self-denial in those characters or is it just a cultural thing? Does it embarrass them?

In general, I think all of that has to do with their age, and another good example of that would be ZZX and JY’s reaction to HT messing with MGS (ch. 289 and 298):

I’ve seen people calling those moments homophobic as well and can’t really agree with them. I would say those reactions have more to do with teenage boys being awkward and embarrassed. HT putting the moves on MGS in front of them is embarrassing and something they don’t wish to see. I mean, I wouldn’t want to see my friends constantly acting like that around me either. Seeing public displays of affection embarrasses me and makes me awkward as hell. (Though, I don’t know if that’s just a Finnish thing...)

In short, I see a lot of how the boys act around each other just natural to how teenage boys are. They mess with each other and standing up for yourself in that sense (for example, getting revenge, being physical, or returning the verbal teasing) is important and typical. That’s how I see JY’s words in the example you mentioned: he felt like HT was messing with him and shot back. All of that could, of course, be seen as internalized toxic masculinity, but I don’t think it’s quite as blatant as people sometimes make it out to be. I’ve always taken it as boys just being boys and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

What comes to HT being pushy and overbearing, I don’t see that being connected to toxic masculinity and making him homophobic because of that. It feels a bit of a stretch and shakey. Instead, I actually think HT is quite comfortable with both of his own feelings for MGS and the idea of same-sex relationships in general (ch. 187):

The little heart-to-hearts JY and HT occasionally have also show us that despite often making fun of each other, they can take it more seriously when needed. JY would have never asked about having feelings for another male if he couldn’t trust HT wouldn’t make fun of him.

The case of Mo Guan Shan

You talked a lot about MGS, so I thought I’d take a closer look at his character separately. You made some interesting points I’ve also been thinking about and was glad they popped up in your ask.

Since we’ve talked about toxic masculinity so far, let’s continue on that. You mentioned that MGS is prone to homophobia because he’s had to act tough. Upholding a certain kind of image is essential in gangs. Being weak and submissive - aka gay, as I talked about above - isn’t an option in that line of work.

I agree with you on all of that. Why MGS is so uncomfortable with HT being physical with him is at least partly because he can’t come across as someone who can be taken advantage of (ch. 250):

If he can be physically overpowered and made vulnerable, it means he can be submitted. In the masculine world, physical strength seems to be the final and ultimate law that settles all the disputes at the latest. And if you lose in that you’re on the bottom or at least lower on the hierarchy. Now, multiply that mentality by a lot to fit it in the world of teenage gangs and the borderline criminal underworld. So, yes, I would most definitely say MGS doesn’t want himself to be put in that situation. Much less anyone finding out about it.

Then again, the story has kind of revisited that idea when HT “joined” MGS’s gang and his underlings started seeing HT around more. And they seem somewhere between intimidated by HT and impressed their boss has managed to make someone like HT call him “brother”. That fits the same mentality of strength, but I can’t honestly see Buzzcut or other members of the gang giving MGS a hard time even if they found out about HT’s affections. Chances are, they would be even more impressed, bless them.

Overall, I think MGS lashing out (or being homophobic) is mostly due to him not trusting HT and HT slowly but surely wearing him out and making him see his own prejudice against people like HT. Yelling out insults has been the easiest way to fight HT’s affections, although it’s not proven very successful. It’s also important to remember MGS is fairly inexperienced when it comes to love and romantic affection (ch. 222):

He’s always been rejected and discriminated by his peers and over the years, he’s started to mirror that behavior and push people away. Having crushes (let alone having a girlfriend) has never really been a concern for him. And it’s not like he’s had time for something like romance anyway because working has taken so much of his time. In this regard, MGS isn’t that mature or experienced and tends to get uncomfortable and lash out very quickly.

I’ve already talked about the note and what kind of role I think it will have (if it will be addressed at all). And I’m not really worried about MGS saying something homophobic to HT. I think we’re way past of him being like “I don’t speak to a homo” at this point already. He’s been aware of HT’s affections for a good while by now and even tentatively warmed up to some of it (for example, the aquarium date and the studs). (Even though, I think it’s still too early to talk about MGS being in love with HT.)

MGS has come a long way, and I might even say he’s gained some sexuality-related maturity on the way. Slowly but surely, he’s become comfortable with having HT around, and if after all this development he would say something like that, it would be a pretty big step backward. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t throw insults and lash out but let’s not forget we’re talking about a purebred tsundere here. That’s always going to happen with him.

And while we’re keeping it real, it’s not like HT would pay any mind to those insults. After MGS asked for the studs, I think HT’s resolve has only strengthened.

I hope this answer makes some sense, to me it feels like a bit of a mess of this and that. A lof of “I can’t deny that but still...” You really threw some hard questions and challenged my thinking a lot. Thank you!

#19 days #tianshan #zhanyi #Jian Yi #He Tian #mo guan shan #Zhan zheng xi #answered ask

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nightsonights · 5 years

Text

one shot- n.m + z.k

masterlist

summary: after a heated fight with zion, you go to the prettymuch house for space but instead you find something else.

warnings: slight cursing

part two here

•••

i blotted my bloodshot eyes against my cotton hoodie as i rang the doorbell once more; attempting to subside the puffyness of my eye lids.

i listened in prolonged silence as the artificial bell rang throughout the house; instilling it’s demanding demeanour into anyone who listened.

as i waited anxiously, my attention turned to the little things that left me vulnerable under the dim porch light illuminating the domestic pavement of the prettymuch driveway.

my poorly painted toenails. the course hairs sticking out of my satin bonnet. my blotched cheeks and the smallness of my eyes.

*”i love you.”*

there are no other words in the english language that could accurately and explicitly describe the act of loving someone.

to many, the phrase was thrown around at the beginnings of casual toxic affairs or during the aftershock of one night stands.

but to zion and i, it was a phrase that defined the foundations of our relationship.

loving each other through our flaws and weaknesses. through our greatest achievements and adventures.

loving each other so much that you can’t imagine a life without one another.

*”do you even love me anymore?”*

i didn’t want to notice the small differences. zion retreating to his side of the bed every night.

the lack of intimacy; the nimble touches and simmering kisses.

the lingering pulls of his blunt during the periods of darkness.

*”i don’t know”*

anything would have been better than obtaining the knowledge that my boyfriend didn’t love me. the boy that i saw my entire future with didn’t love me anymore.

i brushed away the tears running a fresh trail down my flushed cheeks. my fingers trembled in disinclination to ring the doorbell again, coming to terms with the personal stupidity of the situation.

look at me. i have no one to turn to in my time of grief besides my boyfriend’s friends. i had turned into the girl i never want to be.

i was the girl who built her life dependently around a man.

and now i had nothing to show for it besides the theoretical tearing of my apposing ventricles.

i turned away from the door shamefully; mustering the little pride simmering inside of me to walk away from the porch.

“y/n?”

i hesitated before turning adjacent to the previously closed entrance, my glossy eyes meeting the stature of nick.

a singular gold link chain hung dominantly against his collarbone, the speckles of gold reflecting onto the cursive ink imprinted into his chest.

nick rubbed the grogginess out of the slant in his eyes. his eyebrow arched as he acknowledged my distressed state.

“you alright?” he inquired.

“i’m sorry, i’m okay. i didn’t realize how late it was. forget i was even here” i disregarded sheepishly, wanting nothing more than to forget this moment of vulnerability.

“nah, it’s fine. you shouldn’t be out here alone. come inside” nick pleaded. he stepped aside and held the wooden door open, the dark of his eyes silently negotiating with my melodramatic subconscious.

i reluctantly caved in, simply feeling the weight of my feet brush over the welcome mat and onto the wood panels of the prettymuch house.

“you good? did zion do something?” nick asked, examining the dried streaks of salt down my cheeks.

“nah, it’s nothing nick” i brushed off passively, ”i just needed some space.”

“you sure? let me talk to him” nick suggested, shutting the door behind me. his eyes bore into me, a subconscious pout painted on his lips.

“nick please don’t. i don’t wanna talk about it. i-i” i chocked, my lips quivering in place of my speech.

i hung my head in shame at the tremble of my voice; my cheeks burning in forlorn anticipation. i could feel the rays of curiosity radiate off of nick but i couldn’t find it within myself to express my hardships.

nick’s hand fell on the hard of my shoulder blade, rubbing reassuringly against the cotton twill of my hoodie.

“he just... he just really said some shit this time. i-i’m sorry” i sniffled, harshly rubbing away the dampness in my eyes.

nick slowly engulfed me in his warm embrace; his large hands apologetically rubbing the small of my back. i returned the hug; my fingertips feeling cold against the bare of his back.

i basked in the comforting enclasp that surrounded me; missing the feeling of knowing i was loved. knowing i had someone in my corner during my time of grief. knowing i had someone who just wanted to see me happy.

as we pulled away, my lips curled into a partial grin.

“thanks. sorry once again” i mumbled, my voice waving with the guilt that consumed me.

“anytime. don’t be sorry. you’re always welcome here.”

we stared at each other in blissful silence before nick slowly inched his face forward. he gently cupped the contour of my jaw and pressed his lips firmly against mine.

his lips molded against the plump flesh surrounding my mouth; finding refuge in the forbidden movements.

for a split second, i found comfort in his touch. in the light scent of his cologne. the way his hands curved against the flesh of my cheekbones.

but my body immediately tensed up; acknowledging the universal embargo that prohibited this moment. i pulled away, breath uneasy as i stared in perplexity at the face of my boyfriend’s best friend.

nick’s peachy complexion transitioned to a ghostly grey as he struggled to comprehend the situation he’d gotten into.

“holy shit. im so sorry” he breathed, both of you distancing the space between you.

“oh my god. what the fuck” i gasped. i clasped my hands over my eyes, rubbing the arches of my eyebrows as i let out a collective sigh.

“i-i don’t know what came over me” nick stammered.

“he’s your best friend! he’s my boyfriend!” i chastised, already feeling the guilt overwhelm me.

“i know, i’m sorr-“

“stop apologizing! sorry isn’t gonna fix any of this! h-he can never never know about this,” i ranted, trying to grasp the entirety of what happened, “oh my god. he will never forgive me.”

“y/n, it didn’t mean anything. yo-you were crying an-and i wanted-“

“nick please just shut up! i-i can’t. i can’t. goodnight.” i turned my back on nick and made my melancholic strides towards the isolated guest bedroom.

i slammed the door behind me, pressing the curve of my vertebrae against hard of the wood. i glanced upon the shadow of the neatly made bed in the dark of the room.

“fuck” i mumbled to myself. i closed my eyes at the growing headache forming at my temples.

violently kicked off my slippers, i shoved the duvet to a side.

i curled my limbs underneath the sheets and forcefully closed my eyes; allowing the darkness to entangle itself with my welcoming grief.

#prettymuch #nick mara #zion kuwonu #nick mara preference #kyla

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krpk-remaking · 6 years

Text

on kurapikas view of himself and his relations with leorio and prince woble (again)

this is a continuation of/add on to this post i made! you dont have to read it to understand this but i would really appreciate it if you did! also, shoutout to mags @senritsus again for helping me with this, again! <3

im gonna be talking about kurapikas very negative of himself, the importance of leorio to his arc (again, i know) and ill go more in depth about the importance of prince woble, since i forgot some important parts in my original post!

1. Kurapikas Selfloathing

Kurapika seems to truly believe, that the people around him dont, or shouldnt care about him. Right now he sees his quest for revenge as his only reason to live, though that might be slowly changing (hopefully).

Here, he refers to his journy finally beginning, the journey he wanted to take way back when he first left, but his clan was murdered only six weeks after he left and after that his only reason for traveling was his quest for revenge.

It was the purpose he had give himself and now hes scared of where he should go, when that purpose is fulfilled.

He genuinely doesnt seem to be able to fathom, that anyone could truly care about him

Heres Mizai, directly telling him, that Leorio cares about him, “values him highly” to which Kurapika responds “I wonder about that. To be honest i really dont think my ability will be of much help within the dark continent.”

Kurapika measures his worth to others, especially Leorio here, through his ability to fight.

He wonders if Leorio values him. He doesnt know, hes unsure, after Leorio has tried to call him for over a year, Kurapika thinks that the only thing Leorio could possibly value about him, is his ability to fight.

He thinks thats the reason, that Leorio suggested him for a position in the Zodiacs.

Kurapika thinks his only reason to live his is revenge and as such sees no worth for himself as a person.

He really doesnt see himself as human anymore and just someone, who lives for a revenge, a beast in humans clothing.

The reasons he keeps pushing Leorio away and denying, that Leorio cares about him in any ways is that hes scared to get close to people since he doesnt want to suffer through the pain of losing someone again, hes scared to let people close because he seems himself as bad influence, and he believes he doesnt deserve any care Leorio shows him. Hes still not convinced that Leorio truly cares about him as a Person (see: “I wonder about that”), which brings me to:

2. Kurapikas Relationship With Leorio

Ive said it before and ill say it again. Leorio and Kurapika are absolutely crucial to the others development. I have made a post about this but it wasnt very thought out and really mostly just me, being very very mad at three am, so ill talk about it properly now.

2.1 Thematic Connection Through The Narrative

Back when Kurapika first left his village, he left to explore, to have fun (as instructed by Pairo), and to find a doctor. Leorio wants to be a doctor. Togashi easily couldve made Kurapika leave for just those reasons or for any other reasons. Leorio couldve wanted to be anything else but both of them want to find/want to be a doctor and i do believe that has a lot of significance.

I think this is the exact moment, Kurapika came to truly appreciate Leorio, after seeing how he is actually dedicated to helping others and after finding out that he wants to be a doctor. And, maybe not so coincidentally, Kurapika also seems to be at his best during the first arc, even laughing. The only other time he laughs is way after the hunter exam arc, when Gon and Killua have their food fight, but thats it.

Though, this has a lot to do with Kurapika being around Children, who seem to calm him down (possibly because they remind him of pairo) Ive actually kind of talked about that too! The thematic connection continues with the fact, that both had a friend die.

This adds on to the moment, where they actually truly became friends. Kurapika realizes that Leorio has experienced loss too and they connect through that fact on a personal and thematic level. Also, during this arc, when Killua and Gon are constantly paired up, so are Kurapika and Leorio but thats probably just so the four protagonists could all stay in their little group.

And of course, The Zodiac Connection. Their appearances are obviously similar:

And Pariston seems to have some features from Leorio too, same with Ging and Kurapika They seem to be foils of eachother in a way, more obviously with Ging and Leorio with the whole caring about Gon thing. Ging and Paristons Relationship mirrors the Relationship Leorio and Kurapika had at the very beginning, before the Hunter exam started, though theirs was more lighthearted because they were still teens while Ging and Pariston are fully grown adults. Pariston and Kurapika also both seem to have two sides to their personality, that they dont always show, Kurapikas being his happier side that was mostly showing during the hunter exam when he had a strong support system and Paristons being his sinister one thats very unlike the cheery public persona he puts on, mirroring Kurapika once again. Right now, in the manga, Ging and Pariston are working together, while Kurapika and Leorio are apart and Paristons and Gings teaming up also happend, while Kurapika went to join the Zodiacs, reuniting with Leorio. Since Ging and Pariston are so important to the others arc right now, I think Leorio will definitely come into play sometime this arc.

Also, a sidenote: This arc seems to be shaping up to be the chimera ant arc equivalent for Kurapika and hopefully Leorio too, since it comes almost directly after it, does not involve Killua and Gon at all (just like the chimera ant arc had no Leorio and Kurapika), involves the dark continent in a way (just like the chimera ant arc, since that is where they came from) and has Killua and Gon seperated, like Leorio and Kurapika where during the chimera ant arc.

Killua and Gon begun the chimera ant arc together and ended it with their Seperation. Leorio and Kurapika begun this arc seperately (with a short reunion) and maybe they will end it with being together, but this is mostly just me hoping.

(And this time its Mizai dealing with all of their teen angst.)

2.2 Personal Connection, Their Relationship

I really have seen barely any meta on their relationship which i think is a crime because its really so good and interesting, so, here i go!

Kurapikas and Leorios Friendship starts out very rocky, obviously. They butt heads when they first meet and have a lot of petty arguments well after that but as their bond strenghtens those lessen.

At the beginning of the hunter exam arc, they were pretty much at eachothers throats, then they learn about eachothers real motivations, spend more time together and begin to value eachother more.

here are some moments where leorio helps kurapika loosen up

and here are some where its obvious that kurapika does think highly of leorio and sees him as his equal.

Selflessness seems to be a trait Kurapika admires. When it first became obvious that Leorio actually wanted the money to help people, their relationship immediately improved.

As shown above, by the time they reach the island stage, Kurapika trusts Leorio enough to want to team up with him.

And the appreciation is definitely mutual. Leorio sees Kurapika as his friends and he values all of his friends highly. Also, Kurapika appears to help him be more rational > stopping him from attacking that old woman > trying to calm him during arguments

(Not when Illumi was threatening Gon and Killua though but thats very understandable.)

Then, during the yorknew arc, Leorio starts their tradition of calling and not picking up and later insists on helping him, and tries to calm him, multiple times, eventually succeeding (kind of).

Later, when Kurapika comes down with his fever, Leorio is right there, taking care of him. It shows how much he worries for and cares about Kurapika and how he really doesnt want to lose another friend.

Heres him telling Melody to take care of Kurapika, knowing that she will be at his side as a colleague.

Then, way way later when they finally reunite, after Leorios been trying to call for so long and Kurapikas been climbing the mafia ranks and pushing everyone away, they still care so much about eachother.

Kurapika feels better with Leorio around and hes thankful for him but still believes that he doesnt deserve any care. And its obvious to everyone, except Kurapika apparently, that Leorio cares, so much.

Leorio also feels better with Kurapika around, someone he knows and trusts. And they do know eachother well. Kurapika notes, that he isnt even “the shy or socially anxious type” , which either implies that this is a very stressful situation for Leorio, or, that Leorio is just using being “uncomfortable” as an excuse to see Kurapika. Though it really is more likely that its the first one, im just throwing this out here.

Then of course, theres this, which ill never shut up about:

Its Kurapikas Mentor, telling him, that hes gonna need allies he genuinely cares about to progress forward, to which Kurapika thinks that he was right since progressing forward like this wasnt that simple, but his solution to that seems to be wanting to get even stronger, he doesnt want to endanger anyone, he doesnt want to care about people, but its not that simple in reality, cue: pictures of Gon, Killua, Leorio and Prince Woble, the four people he canonically cares most about. Since this is the section about Leorio, ill go more in depth about his panel here and later, ill talk about Prince Woble.

Hes thinking about moments where they made him happy/made him care about them, Gon and Killua with their food fight in the park where they cheered him up and Leorio on the phone. Its him calling to check up on Kurapika. Kurapika really did appreciate it so much, even if he doesnt show it, even if he keeps pushing Leorio away. And he does care about them, even if he doesnt want to! The way Leorio expresses care for his friends, which is very vocal and direct, is so good for Kurapika because even if he still cant really believe or accept it, its still something he appreciates, somehow. I am not (!) saying that they will definitely end up with eachother but they are definitely incredibly important to the others character development and i dont think Togashi will forget about that. Now, for my last point.

3. Kurapikas Relations With Prince Woble

Prince Woble is so, so important to Kurapika, this isnt news and Kurapika holds an incredible amount of empathy for little kids, seen in his interactions with Gon and Killua too and now with Prince Woble.

He really is very dedicated to protecting Prince Woble in this arc, prepared to full on die for her. To directly quote my other meta post about this,

“Kurapikas arc appears to very much be about him finding the human connection, that he lost when his clan was killed, again, effectively making this found family story a Big Deal thematically. Him finding a new purpose in life through taking care of Woble would be, in my opinion, a thematically satisfying ending for Kurapikas arc, since its been said by many in-story characters that his search for revenge will only destroy him in the end”

Though, the important part, that i neglected in my first post since i cant read, is, that when Kurapika thinks about the people he cares about, he also thinks about her.

I really, really hope that this is some kind of foreshadowing of him actually taking care of Prince Woble in the future. It would be the perfect way for Kurapika to find new purpose in life and for him to become human again, in his eyes. Also, i am a little worried about the dark aura that Kurapika senses from her sometimes, but i really dont know what to make of that as of now.

Anyways, you did it! thank you so so much for reading i really appreciate it! If you have anymore thoughts please come send me an ask or something im always open for discussion! always!!

#LONG LONG POST #SORRY!#THIS TOOK ME A LOONG TIME #HXH #HUNTER X HUNTER #HXH SPOILERS #KURAPIKA #LEOPIKA #STRAWBERRYMETA

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kikithedeceiver · 5 years

Note

Are you going to translate kagerou daze last chapter? I can’t wait

Well...okay. I’m gonna be honest with the Kagepro Fandom here.

It is not likely Iwill post the RAW manga for the fandom anymore

I will get the manga, yes. But at this point, I don’t evenwant to contribute anything to do fandom to help with access to officialcontents.

It was a very hard decision to make, but with how theKagepro fandom is acting today, I have decided I will not post the Kagepro RAWson Tumblr anymore, and will remove all RAWs I have scanned once I get thesubscription.

TL; DR: At thispoint, the fandom is too toxic, therefore I have no more desire to provide themanga chapters even though there is only one chapter left. Sorry to those whowere not involved in this, but screw it with the antis who now run the fandomand hope you’re happy.

Also still shipKanoKido and don’t see HibiMomo as a “pedophilia ship”

Listen. Back when I joined the fandom, it was a simplertime. Yobanashi Deceive came out, followed by Lost Time Memory and Ayano’sTheory of Happiness shortly after. Those days were simple as we all cried overKano and Ayano, and think of the potential plot LTM revealed as we all waited forMekakucity Actors to come out. We also had awesome contents on translatorstranslating some fancomics (with permission) and a good amount of fanfics andfanarts provided by the fans in this fandom.

Of course, we had some discourse over which was better:KanoKido or KanoAya; and over Shounen Brave’s MV being leaked online. And wehad major discourse over how MCA went, but in the end it’s just agree todisagree and move on to focus to other medias Kagerou Project was released in,or just move away from the series in general.

Right now with the fandom, however, they cannot agree ordisagree over ships. Majority of the fandom anyway. Today the fandom…other fandoms really, just love to throwthe word ‘incest’ and ‘pedophilia’ left and right with ease and spread theirflames in their posts, tags and replies. In everything, really. Even when theyposted official art, they feel the need to scream in their tag to tell usshippers to fuck off and die for shipping what they think is ‘incest’. I also knowthere are those who are disgusted over my display picture of Kano and Kidokissing, which an old friend of mine edited when that episode of MCA aired(won’t reveal name because I don’t want you to attack them). And even feelgross out over the pic in my blog of Kano petting Kido’s kitty ears.

I want to ask, how can the antis who claim Kano and Kido aresiblings, can see petting as sexual? You could have chosen to see it as abrother petting his sister’s kitty ears because it is cute and fun to tease herfor that, but no. Just because Kano and Kido are alone within a picture…or apanel frame really, you guys choose to view it as a romantic relationshipinstead of a sibling relationship, getting angry over it and spreading hate.

Ironic for antis who claim Kano & Kido are siblings, butjust seeing them together doing something makes you think it’s romantic anyway.

What’s more. Age gaps. Ever since another discourse over ships happened when my friend tried to makepeace with shippers (and sadly failed and upset over it when you guys flamedher), I have heard of this thing called “Half your age + Seven” to dictate whoto date with, and what is appropriately shippable, like HibiMomo. Honestly thispost have the best response over it, but I will quote the replyhere.

so a 16 year old can’tdate a 14 year old? so an 18 year old can’t date a 16 year old? so a 40 yearold can’t date a 27 year old? a math expression should not be the regulation ondating ages…

and if it’s shippingwho tf cares? not hurting anybody because they all fictional…

To be honest, this reminds me of Dead Poet Society. Ifanyone had seen the film, maybe you recall a scene where poetry is calculatedby math as well. This is that level of stupidity. The fandom today is doingsomething what could be considered excrement on what is acceptable over whatis fiction and bringing that over to reality. The reality where your parents,grandparents, classmates or anyone you know also have age gaps, and that reallyyou are more upset over fictional characters dating instead of real-life issuesof incest and pedophilia.

Other than that little discourse fiasco, there are otherthings, but I will not go into detail. Instead just says this tiny fandom justfeels too entitled with their belief and doing uncalled for things likebackstabbing and limiting others to enjoy supporting the fandom in their ownway. Also to let the antis go free by just sit by and watch. I understand thosewho are just tired and don’t want to deal with them. But for those who actuallyenable the antis to do what they want because you guys just don’t care, youguys are part of the guilty party as well by letting them grow and think it’sa-okay to be like this.

With that being said, I do not feel the need to post thefinal chapter anymore. You guys will have to figure it out yourselves or justwait and hear bits and pieces of it maybe. But I don’t even want to post what Iknow. Instead I will just share those RAWs with who I am friends with and whomI trust, plus those who are more mature because instead of flaming, they justlet others enjoy what they ship and do their own things.

The chapters being taken down will also remove myself as aRAW provider to the fandom, which I am thankful because I do not need to dothis anymore, as I, again, I hate scanning and always believe I would get intotrouble.

I know there are those, like my friends and mutuals I havehere on Tumblr, who wanted to read the manga since they do not have access tothem where they live. I am sorry for doing this to them too, but it just isn’tworth it in the end.

Instead, I will spend my remaining days in the fandom asjust someone who hears bits and pieces of Kagepro fandom here and there while Iam enjoying myself more in another fandom or doing other things I enjoy inlife, instead of spreading hate when someone doesn’t agree with you. I willstill look forward to Jin’s next album and when Mekakucity Reload to come out, andalso I might finish my KanoKido Oneshot requests and multichapter stories Iwanted to finish, but that will take a longtime since I’m planning to focus other writing instead.

But what I look forward to the most is when the series’ end,so then it can be put to rest for real and I can officially leave and let thefandom to slowly die. Might hear some things, but it will be a dying fandom atthat point.

The asks are still open for yelling. But it will just provea point. But right now, I believe I have blocked a lot of anti, which goes toshow how toxic this fandom has become. If I do get any asks/anon hate though,feel free to blacklist #discourse and #negativity, dear followers. Tumblralways had that option at least, you guys just need to use it when you’re onthe app without xKit. Also I will just answer those asks once, then block them afterwards (if you’re sending an ask through anon, you’re IP blocked).

If you guys read this whole thing (over 2 pages at thispoint), then I thank you for reading this. And more so if you understand what Iam doing. Sorry to those who are upset over this, but not to the antis who areupset and possibly raging if they read this.

Because with antis running the fandom, I want no part in itby providing them the last manga content.

#kagepro #kagerou project #kagerou daze manga #kagepro fandom #kiki's kagepro scans #kiki's raw scans #discourse #negativity #Anonymous

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bigsquinky · 5 years

Photo

quick sketches from a shapiro and mulligan alien au ::3c i wrote something too for this scene. I dont write stuff very often so its rough but i will put it under the cut here

the storage corridor was dimly lit, sparks from exposed wires lighting the way down the destroyed passage. the alamanium steel doors were crushed, thrust open unnaturally with an inhuman force that rendered them useless. all the way down to the end, large dents and ruptures could be seen along the walls, identical to the ones leading back down the main hall.

Shapiro was not happy. Not happy at all

she had been away for just a moment, something to do with confirmation for a shipment or going over some trivial documents, nothing out of the ordinary of what usually happened during the day. a lot was expected of her, but there was no way she could supervise training cadets, overseeing daily maintenance, and everything else in their quadrant of the ship. she was only gone for the smallest moment, but thats all that was needed for everything to go wrong. a large crash echoed from the training bay, followed by the audible screaming of a few cadets, as well as, oddly enough, the odd roars of cheering.

whatever ruckus had occurred while she was gone left the bay in shambles, large craters on the ceiling and the walls, lights and equipment broken, everything would have to be replaced, everything brought back to code. it was going to be a bureaucratic nightmare. oh, and that one cadet would have to be taken to the emergency wing. but he was the least of Shapiros worries at the moment, he would be fine anyways, Grutians were known to be virtually indestructible, if anything, only his pride was wounded.

No, Shapiro's worries were down that busted up supply hall, and as the appointed quadrant manager, she needed to bring everything back to efficiency quickly, before more reports would be required. A large group of cadets and employees gathered behind her in the hall, all murmuring in fright and surprise at what was happening. Shapiro clicked at her belt and put a regulatory protection field between her and the crowd, preventing them from moving any closer into the supply hall. the frantic chattering of a cockroach in a labcoat was heard coming closer to the scene of the mess, as O'Reilly banged on the field, his muffled pleas to Shapiro to wait for an armoured squad fell on deaf ears. It was her responsibility, and this mess was going to be fixed, even if she had to make another one.

She made her way down that hall, mentally preparing herself for the struggle that could happen. From day one, that cadet only got in trouble, and caused her trouble. She thought that keeping him on probation would solve at least some of her problems. its not like he was doing any of this on purpose, but this Cadet Mulligan seemed to attract trouble wherever he went. It was everyone else that seemed to have problems with him, stemming from eons old beliefs in superstitions that beings like him were considered cursed, or biological mistakes. she at least knew how it felt to be looked down upon, being Atharian meant that from birth she had to work harder than most to even get to where she was now, but she still had more of a privilege than the cadet did, even if he was half Arachnian. But because Shapiro worked so hard and gave up so much to get where she was, it jsut meant it could be torn away from her so much easier, her higher ups were just waiting for her to fail, giving her all of this work knowing full well not even the most able of commanders could not complete what she managed to in a day, and she knew it. Despite all her successes, all she needed was one slip up, and it could come crumbling down beneath her. She could not afford to show weakness in a time like this, not again. not ever. she reached the end of the hall, and pushed the big storage room door open

to say it was a mess was an understatement. Shapiro could barely creak the door open enough to squeeze through with the large shelf of various supplies toppled over in disarray. the only light in the room from the working emergency lights lit the clutter in a dim, cold blue light. She quietly navigated the maze of toppled over supplies and stock, taking expert caution to make her presence in the room unknown. if one did not know about the events leading up to this mess, one would assume the ship had made course through an asteroid belt. Shapiro's pointed ears perked up as she finally heard the source of her troubles. Mulligan was there

Shrouded in the darkness, he was hard to make out. Shapiro squinted, as hard as the emergency lights tried to do their job, they were beyond overdue for repair after the beating they took today. What she could make out of his figure however, broke Shapiro into a cold sweat. Finally, she clued into the seriousness of the situation she put herself into, wishing in the back of her mind that she did listen to O'Reilly, although she would never admit he was right if she ever got out of here

Even though he was sitting, he towered over her, his head short of hitting the ceiling. the once recognizable Atharian frame that he had donned was gone, instead a colossal figure grunted and snarled, writhing in confusion as his he tried in vain to reconstruct himself. he panted heavily, clutching his head with two large arms, while four other appendages scratched at his body and braced himself to the steel storage case. Mulligan twisted and contorted but to no avail, a large fist slammed into the wall behind him, leaving a large dent. Shapiro silently stared petrified, her breath ragged. She attempted to shuffle herself backwards and out of there without being noticed, a hand moving slowly to her belt for a plasma taser, in case she needed to defend herself, but instead she misstepped, her foot knocking a small provisions can into a panel, causing the latter to reverberate, and her presence to be known

Mulligan stopped and jerked his head unnaturally towards the sound, breathing heavily, his face partially blocked by his arm. Shapiro froze, and their eyes locked. Mulligan's expression changed from a look of fury, to distress, as he let out a booming cry. he shifted back into the dark as far as he could go, his back against the wall. His breathing was rapid, with a look of horror on his face, it was like he was a scared animal backed into a corner. Crying out in a foreign tongue, what sounded like a plethora of backwards wailing to Shapiro, Mulligan's arms frantically moved into a defensive position, and attempted to cover his face. He continued to wail as Shapiro got off the floor and steadied herself, cautiously moving closer towards the creature. Mulligan tried in vain to move further back and away, but he could not move anymore, his large form made it impossible to break out of this corner. His breathing quickened, and his speech became broken and more unintelligible as he choked back tears. He violently flinched as Shapiro brought up her hand to her scouter, combing through old catalogues of alliance data to find translation as to what the cadet was saying. The scouter laboured for what seemed to be an eternity before it made a cheerful beep as it finally calculated a basic translation of the cacophony. Mulligan continued to cry out in panic as Shapiro finally read what he had been saying this whole time

" GO AWAY! AWAY FROM ME! MONSTER! AM MONSTER!"

the script had scrolled across the screen multiple times as Shapiro stood there in silence. Mulligan closed his eyes as he continued to shake and repeat the devastating message. His fingers dug deep into his face as all the sounds around him started turning into static, letting out one last painful cry before he quickly stifled himself in a swift jolt. His eyes shot open, his breathing ragged, as he looked down and saw a small purple hand lightly touching at his knee

Shapiro sat up tall, facing away from Mulligan with her hand on him, her three fingers slightly stroking and patting his thigh. He brought a quivering hand down, dwarfing her hand as he gently brought it into his. Shapiro continued to look straight forward, as Mulligan's breathing slowed and became controlled, his shoulders relaxed, and he slowly leaned forward away from the wall, and the two sat in silence

She waited a while, before she finally spoke. "Mulligan, what happened?" He sat there. Shapiro repeated herself in the same unwavering but quiet tone. "Mulligan, what happened?" Mulligan swallowed, his entire body still shivering. "It-It-It happened so fast, I couldn-couldn't stop- I just-" "Mulligan, what happened in the training bay while I was gone?" Shapiro didnt want to escalate things, but she had to get Mulligan to talk before a security squad busted through that temporary field. Mulligan stammered. "It-it-it was Giraldi. He came up to me, saying it was my fault he was taken off the scouting mission. He-he slammed me against the wall, I didnt do nothin', I just took it until-" He paused "-'til he brought up YOU." "Me?" Shapiro finally turned slowly to look up at mulligan, the faint blue glow partly illuminating his face. His expression darkened, his fangs were bared and a low growl escaped his lips. "He said shit that was deplorable, about Atharians, about you, that it was beneath him as a Grutian to take orders from a bug. Disgusting shit about what he could do and no one would stop him, and he called you, he called you a-" Mulligan's grip on Shapiro's hand tightened. She let out a small yelp as Mulligan gasped and pulled his hand away "IM SORRY!! Im sorry-im so sorry i-". Shapiro grabbed his hand with both of hers this time. She looked at him intently, her spots glowing faintly revealed the makings of a pained expression, the first time she had bared any resemblance of feelings to anyone since that time. She took his hand and rested her forehead on it, as Mulligan's breathing calmed down. Mulligan exhaled. "Af-After that, I lost it. i lost control, i could only see red as i flung him around that room. When i remembered what was happening and where i was, I freaked out and ran off here. I got, so scared that what happened last time was gonna happen again, i had to calm down fast, but i couldnt! i was still so upset about everything, and then-" He stopped. He turned his head to look at Shapiro, his purple, polycoria eyes the only thing visible in the shadows. "Im so sorry, Lieutenant Commander"

Shapiro closed her eyes, and exhaled, still keeping her grip on Mulligan's hand. "Whats done is done, Cadet. We cant change that. I dont know what will be decided by the Commander, or if a higher council will be brought in but-" She smiled slightly "- i thank you for standing up for me, Mulligan" She felt Mulligan's hand shrink in her own, and felt the growth of another finger, until it finally slowed, and he locked his fingers with hers. She looked up at him, his form back to that of a fake Atharian, and a tired smile on his face. His two eyes, once four, while displaying no signs of his metamorph mutation, are slightly red. "Thank you Shapiro." She smiled back. "Dont thank me just yet, someone will have to clean up this entire mess!" Mulligan chuckled, and the both of them walked out of the storage hall, still holding each others hands.

#my art #sketches #shapiro and mulligan #alien au #my writing #lmao its a lot but i got into it :3c

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oblio-k · 5 years

Text

uhhhhh im not Too Happy with this one but i cant bear to work on it anymore So. finally some slight disko and the Next Joey fic.

#9 - Stranded

“Dad, wake up!” Benjamin could feel someone shaking his shoulder. His head throbbed, and it took him a few seconds before he could open his eyes. Jake was kneeling next to him, eyes wide and shining with concern.

“What happened?”

Jake’s shoulders sagged with relief and he helped Ben sit up before answering. “The shuttle crashed. Some kind of electrical storm knocked us down. I got a couple of bruises and a little burnt before you beamed us out, but the medical kit had a dermal regenerator. Joey’s perfectly fine, somehow. We’re both okay.”

“And Dukat?”

“He woke up a few minutes ago. He got pretty burned, so I gave him the medical kit after I finished healing you.” Jake looked around, and Benjamin finally took in that they weren’t anywhere near the runabout. He was sitting on the ground, and it was fairly warm. There were a few sparse plants among the rocks and gravelly soil. “The shuttle lit itself on fire, so I didn’t have time to check what system we’re in.”

“That’s alright, Jake-o. We’re all alive, that’s what matters.” Jake smiled a bit. “I’ll try to get a signal out so someone can pick us up. Let’s go see how your brother is doing.”

Joey held up his arms as soon as he saw them, chirping happily. Benjamin knelt down next to him and Dukat, and the toddler crawled to him. The boy purred as he was picked up, his whole, tiny body vibrating with the intensity of it. “Hey, Jojo, how are you?”

While Joey was free of injury, Dukat had burns on his arms, legs, and face. He was running the dermal regenerator over a more severe burn on his cheek. “Joseph is unharmed. Thankfully, he’s still small enough that I could easily shield him from the rupturing conduits on the shuttle.”

“Hear that, Joey?” The toddler looked over at his brother when he heard his name. “It’s good that you’re so tiny! I guess Doctor Bashir doesn’t have to worry anymore.”

Benjamin passed Joey to Jake. “Why don’t you two take my tricorder and look around? Don’t go too far.”

“Sure! Ready to go on a mission, little bro?” Jake walked off, tricorder beeping. Joey waved goodbye to them, peeping. Benjamin waved back. They rounded a large rock.

Turning back to Dukat, he offered, “Here, let me.” The dermal regenerator was dropped into his hand, and he ran it over the burn. Once the injury was healed, he noticed the intense look that Dukat was giving him. It made him pause, and the unbidden thought that it was very similar to the expression that eventually led to the day Joey was plopped down on his desk came to mind.

Swallowing, he looked down at the other burns. If he matched them up to the marks on Dukat’s shirt and pants, they made a toddler-sized scorch mark. He would have been curled up around the hatchling to protect him.

“Thank you.”

“For what, Benjamin?”

“You saved Joey’s life. He wouldn’t have survived these kinds of burns.”

“Of course. He’s our son.”

The sunlight went away far quicker than Benjamin thought it would, and Joey started whining as he worked on trying to fix the shuttle’s signal transceiver. The fires had gone out while Jake explored, and he’d come back to tell them.

Jake was sitting next to him as he worked, writing on his padd. “Hey, Dad,” he asked, voice low, “you and Dukat were pretty close together when we got back, huh? I love Joey and all, but I don’t think I’m ready for another half Cardassian sibling.”

“You’re not-!” He stopped. Joey made a loud noise, and Benjamin could see he and Dukat were now looking in their direction. Sighing, he got back to work. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

“I mean, I’m going to, but thanks. He was looking at you pretty weird.”

“Yes, I noticed.”

“You were looking at him pretty weirdly too.”

“Jake.”

“Dad.” Jake was quiet for a minute, letting him settle back into rerouting power. Then, “Ziyal says her father really likes you, and Nog said she wants you to be her stepfather. You have her approval.”

Though he wanted this conversation to end and never get brought up again, he couldn’t resist the urge to joke around a bit. “I know Joey would love to have both of his parents on the station. Or even Cardassia. Do I have your approval?”

“No. I’m never moving to Cardassia, and I don’t want a stepdad.”

“Great. Because you’re not getting one. Ziyal will have to be disappointed.”

“Are you talking about Ziyal?” Dukat asked.

“Just wondering why she didn’t want to come with us,” Jake lied, raising his voice enough to be heard properly.

“She wanted to attend a Bajoran festival with Nerys. I thought she told you that.”

“Oh, right. I forgot. On Bajor, right?” Joey whined again, curled up tight into a ball in his father’s arms. “Hey, Dad, it’s getting kind of cold.”

He’d been too absorbed in fixing the transceiver to notice that as it got dark outside, the temperature in the cracked open shuttle had begun to drop. “Jake, why don’t you hold your brother? Your body heat should keep him warm.”

“Sure.”

Jake let Joey crawl into his shirt as the temperature continued to fall, and the two of them nibbled on some rations they’d found under a panel. “Try to keep him awake, Jake-o. Dukat, how are you doing?”

When he didn’t receive a response, he looked over, concerned. The Cardassian was asleep, slumped over where he was leaning against the runabout wall. Damn, Benjamin thought, hurrying over to him. He angled his head up. “Dukat!”

Both Curzon and Jadzia had joked to him about how funny it would be if he had to serve as a living heat warmer since humans were so good at staying warm. With Jadzia, he’d replied that he found it very likely since he already functioned as one for Joey. She’d just smirked at him, saying Joey didn’t count, and he now realized what she’d been implying.

She was going to find this hilarious as soon as they were all back home, safe and sound.

“You know, Dad, I really don’t want another sibling,” Jake said, giving him a forced smile as he got Dukat to walk over to the other side of the shuttle so he could continue working while keeping him warm at the same time. The Cardassian’s movements were sluggish as Benjamin lowered him down, and he almost tipped over. Benjamin wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him up.

“Jake-o.”

“Just trying to lighten the mood.”

#oblio's fics #disko #ds9 #star trek #whumptober

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babycharmander · 6 years

Text

Tagged by @sethnakht!

Rules: choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better

Three fandoms:

Portal

Coco

Grim Fandango

The first character you loved:

Wheatley!! While I played Portal first (and played it at least like, twice before moving on), the first character I truly fell in love with (platonically) was Wheatley. He embodies several traits I love in fictional characters, he’s a cute robot, he struggles with a lot of problems and has a lot of depth to him... and he’s hilarious. What’s not to love about him?

I think Miguel? I like how one of the first things we see him doing in the movie is kissing is great grandmother, sharing food with her, talking with her and playing with her, etc, even when she can’t remember who he is and doesn’t talk much--it immediately cements him as being a good kid, even if he can be selfish and does stupid, impulsive stuff, as kids do. (Also I can deeply empathize with characters that are shown to be grossed out by romance, so that helped too. XD) He’s not my favorite, but he’s the first character in the movie I really liked and I still love him a lot.

Glottis! Another character that embodies a lot of stuff I like in a fictional character. He is a lorge friend and a cinnamon roll that smells like diesel. He is sweet and hilarious and how on earth can you possibly not love him.

The character you never expected to love so much:

ghhhh ALL OF THEM??? (except Henry) All of the characters in the Portal games are so wonderful oh my gosh, and they all have way more depth than you would expect, even ones we never even see, or ones who don’t talk. I mean, heck, the PANELS have personalities. All of these characters are Very Good A++++ and while I do have a preference to all of the robots (GLaDOS, Space Core, Rick, Adventure Core, etc), of course, I still love Chell, Cave, Caroline, Rattmann... SO MANY GOOD CHARACTERS AAAA

Héctor oh my gosh. I have to admit I did not trust him at first! Which I think was Pixar’s intention--he’s portrayed as a scrappy trickster goofy sidekick in the promotional material, and in the movie he’s introduced with shady music and doing shady stuff for reasons we don’t understand yet. I enjoyed his character though, even if I didn’t fully trust him--when he first confronted Ernesto (”Those were MY songs you took!”) my initial reaction was “what? no way, no way this scrappy skeleton wrote these songs.” And then like, minutes later, you find out who he truly is... and then like after the movie I was slowly getting hit by all the fridge horror of realizing why he was acting the way he did earlier on in the movie before we realized his motivations, and oh gosh my poor tol dead son. So yeah, Pixar successfully fooled me into thinking that he was gonna be the silly sidekick and then proceeded to punch me in the gut with all of the feelings for this sad skeleton dad.

Manny! I kinda thought he was gonna be a dull, cynical protagonist at first, but nah he’s an absolute dork who wants so badly to be cool and I love him. my smol dead son who is actually older than me.

The character you relate to the most:

Wheatley. %| hi yes I am a dumb screwup whose vocal processor runs faster than her main processor, who has been a massive jerk at times without initially realizing it, who dealt with a lot of bullying that led to a lot of pent up anger, and ... yeah.

Oof... Kindof a mix between Héctor and Miguel here. I can relate to Miguel’s being stuck in a situation where he really wants to follow his dream, but his family wants him to stay in the family business. I also heard a lot of that “stupid fantasy” talk from my dad when I expressed my desire to get an art degree. I can relate to both Miguel and Héctor as artists--getting lost in creating things, experiencing the joy of sharing what you make with others, etc. With Héctor though I can relate... a lot to his situation with Ernesto, minus the murder part (and minus stuff getting stolen to that degree, though my situation did involve some of my art getting stolen, but that was the least of the problems honestly). Please do not ask me to elaborate on this.

Probably Glottis. XD; I am also a dumb idiot who obsesses over the things I like and talks about them too much. Though I can also relate a bit to Manny having a crappy desk job.

The character you’d slap:

Wheatley.

Ernesto.

Nick Virago.

Three favorite characters (in order of preference):

Wheatley, GLaDOS, Space Core.

Héctor, Imelda, Miguel.

Glottis, Manny, Meche.

A character you liked at first but don’t anymore:

N-none... that I can think of???

...No-one?

Yeah I got nothin’.

Three OTPs:

Wheatley + Space Core friendship gives me life.

Héctor/Imelda is one of the few ships I actually, genuinely like. I’m not a romance person but I really love this couple.

Manny/Meche. I don’t like it as much as I like my real OTPs, but they’re a canon couple and they’re happy together.

I tag... @jaywings, @silverstreams, @nonanalogue, @vgjustice, @drundertalescum, @netbug009, @pengychan, @im-fairly-whitty, @bazzoka-bazz, @judgechaos, and anyone else who wants to do this.

#portal #portal 2 #coco #pixar coco #grim fandango #coco spoilers #meme #this was fun #I didn't elaborate on the 'character you'd slap' because I think they're all pretty self-explanatory

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