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canmom · 1 year

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seasonal anime: Mahō Shōjo Magical Destroyers

This one's an odd one.

I think the best place to begin with this one is... here's some lines from the sub. The official sub, from Crunchyroll (I think).

And for this particular show, subtitling with imageboard memes seems actually quite appropriate. But it's still so weird to see memesubs go official! It reads like a fansub!

As for the show itself... it's odd. I watched it pretty much entirely on the strength of the OP, which has both some lovely animation cuts including a little Weilin Zhang. Nobody figured out who did the car still. But where it really caught my attention is the glitched out second half that looks somewhere between SBAHJ and trans girl aesthetics. Here's a taste:

Based on that I expected something in the vein of Madoka, playing around with the form. Well, it's not that! Still trying to put my finger on what exactly it is.

I think I broadly I get what it's going for, sending up genre tropes and invoking various flavours of otaku subculture stuff with a really modern reference pool. And I appreciate that it's willing to go weird with it; episode 2 for example has a surreal battle on a drug induced psychic plane and they are willing to get quite experimental with the imagery (also obligatory EoE nod)...

The henshin sequences likewise go pretty hard! Blue, the sex/masochism themed one in particular, gets her brain corkscrewed out and turned into a weapon. Lots of blink-and-you-miss-it stuff in all three.

There's other cute visual ideas riffing on the otaku theme; e.g. in episode 3, a mech is assembled like a model kit from a sprue by giant hands.

Or places where it's like... oh huh you went there then? It really foregrounds sexuality, playing it mostly for jokes but also like...

This isn't even the first time one of the characters has ended up in shibari and he stays that way for the rest of the episode.

Anyway, the story turned out to be about an alternate future where otakus become an oppressed class who are caged by the government; protagonist 'otaku hero' leads an otaku revolution, although he's more of a comic relief guy beside the three magical girls. The sort of mocking but affectionate sendup of otaku stuff feels sort of like 'what if you made Otaku no Video, 30 years on'.

So I respect its ambition! It certainly feels different.

Alas I don't think it quite comes together. The pace is pretty breakneck, but it's not so infectiously energetic as something like Kill La Kill, which is an obvious point of comparison - but then not many people can match Imaishi! Visually, the show proper is kinda rough, and inevitably falls short of the level set by its OP/ED. The story is way too overtly ironic to get seriously invested in, so you're mostly there for the jokes, which are pretty hit and miss (a lot of them are just 'haha, sex' or 'look, otaku thing'), but also it's paced so fast that they don't all have to stick.

It's a bit of a headscratcher honestly. I'm mostly still watching out of curiosity to see what they're doing with all this. It feels like there's several seeds of something in this mix; whether it will grow I can't tell.

Come to think of it, if it reminds me of anything, it's OtakuVs, the surprisingly high-effort anime comedy web series by some American weebs. The pace, tone, and sense of humour are remarkably similar. I'm probably missing some kind of precursor to both that explains it. Maybe it was poptepipic all along!

#anime #magical destroyers

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circle-bircle · 24 days

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any obscure games I can feel like a hipster playing? don't care if they're technically mediocre sometimes they vibe more that way.

sure here's a list of niche games (perhaps not obscure) i enjoy:

final fantasy 2 - obligatory rec; technically mediocre for sure and i guess you'll either feel like a hipster or a nerd and i think both are acceptable. please please please please please please etc etc

lufia 2 - as someone who has only played loz link's awakening this feels like that with jrpg fights. it is really good and the og is on my to-play list eventually but this game is just so fucking cool. plot is a little wack but whatever. music is really good too

suikoden - i personally like the first more than the second but both ps1 titles are really good - standard jrpg affair but i would consider them niche enough to put on a list here. i am sloooowly playing through the third game but i have enjoyed my time with it through the first few bits

legend of the dark witch - anime babe platformer. decent mix of easy and hard entries but i had a fun time with the series

terranigma - truthfully I haven't gotten very far into it but it is niche so could be worth your time nona

vagrant story - tbh I don't care for the plot but the gameplay is straight fire and sydney losstarot is very cool

legend of dragoon - BURNING RUSH... SPINNING CANE... MORE AND MORE.... COOOOOL BOOGIE... SUMMON FOUR GODS... etc etc. plot gets kind of wack in the later discs but holy FUCK is the gameplay so good.

etrian odyssey just in general - i had a fun time playing the fafnir knight; prolly best to google this series bc youtube can explain it better than i can

final fantasy tactics advance - not obscure but my favorite tactics game. it's a tactics game. not much more to say

ace combat - probably obscure to you if you're looking at my blog; but i really liked ace combat 2. if you enjoy plane shootey games it is good

if you like schlocky fanservice games lord of magna: maiden heaven is a fun romp with hot anime babes. twas little circle's awakening to the vast world of video games (outside pokémon and project diva) so it holds a special place in my heart. grant george voices the antag. so.... yeah

if you like mystery dungeon games i really enjoyed chocobo dungeon 2; the ffx-2 dungeon game I didn't really get into but it is niche

once i finally escape from Scholarly Hell for summer the next game i plan on playing is legend of legaia. truthfully it seems like xenogears with the combat system but i cannot tell whether it is better or worse but i will probably make a post about it in a few months

oh. you know what? play xenogears. play xenogears, nona. you should play xenogears.

or final fantasy 2. because it is good. at least if you squint really hard and tilt your head and squint a little more

#overly specific ask tag #i always have recs #if you want me to be more specific with a genre just send another ask

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keyleth-clay · 2 years

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Just for funsies, and because literally nobody asked me to, I present

KC’s Top 5 CR One-Shot Wishlist

(starting with my most wanted)

Number 1. A game using an older edition of DnD – especially if it’s, like, ADnD or 2nd edition. I was honestly hoping we’d get this with Calamity, especially considering that Matt had Halas (an archmage from the Calamity) know spells from 3rd edition that don’t exist in 5th edition. Brennan stating that Vespin was a Malconvoker just added fuel to this particular fire. I’ve never actually played DnD in my life, and everything I know about it comes from watching actual play series & reading up on info in between episodes, but even I know that there’s some crazy stuff in older editions, and since most of the cast have only played 5e, I think it would be super fun to see them see where this game came from. And, because the vast majority of actual play use 5e – which makes sense, as it’s the most recent edition of the game, and the edition that actively has new books coming out for it – it would be cool to see that just because these are older editions doesn’t mean that they can’t still be played and enjoyed.

That being said, this one would probably need to be a miniseries (Exandria Unlimited or otherwise), just to give them enough time and space to be able to experience the ins and outs of said older edition(s).

Number 2. Critical Role: The Next Generation. Okay listen.

Listen.

This is actually my absolute-number-1-most-wanted one-shot, but I knocked it down a spot because I know that it’s super unlikely to ever happen. I want a one-shot of Liam’s and Sam’s kids playing DnD – and I want Liam to DM it. He’s already DM’d for his kids, and I absolutely love his DMing style and I miss seeing him running a game. And between the handful of snippets that he’s given us of his daughter’s game with her friends, and the fact that Sam’s daughter came up with Nomen L. Frenno in The Nautilus Ark, we all know they’d come up with some incredible characters. AND if it’s set in Exandria? The cherry on top.

Also, DnD actual play series tend to be… not family-friendly, what with the swearing, alcohol, sexual references, blood & guts – none of which I have a problem with, btw, but I know that there are people who do, and I know that there are people who would love to introduce Critical Role or DnD to friends or family members, but can't because of said friends/family members' opinions of such things. I think it would be a great way to combat some of the stereotypes that certain folks have about DnD and TTRPGs in general, and also show that anybody can enjoy this game.

But, as I said, I know this is super unlikely. Sam and Liam have made it a point to not post photos or videos of their kids online (Sam has only recently started doing so) – which I completely understand and fully agree with – and they don’t even refer to them by their real names in videos – which, again, is the right decision. THAT BEING SAID, if this one-shot ever happened, I would ascend to a higher plane of existence from sheer joy.

Number 3. Adventures of the Darrington Brigade 2: Electric Boogaloo. Matt ended the one-shot with the blatant implication that these dumbasses would return at some point, and I love them so goddamn much. Where’s the AotDB sequel, Mercer?

Number 4. Literally any horror one-shot run by Taliesin. The Thursday By Night two-shot wasn’t exactly my cup of tea (I’m just not a big fan of VtM), but Shadow of the Crystal Palace was SO FUCKING GOOD. I’d love another CoC one-shot, especially because the cast has previously and would continue to go ham with the cosplay and the set design and the props, but any spooky/creepy/horrifying story with Taliesin in the GM’s seat would be amazing. Bonus point for being around Halloween.

Number 5. Obligatory M9 post-campaign epilogue one-shot. I mean, VM got their 3 epilogue one-shots (Search for Grog, Search for Bob, Dalen’s Closet) to tie up the remaining couple of loose ends from the campaign – we need The Mighty Nein, one year after C2 ended, all level 20, taking to the seas once more and taking down Uk’otoa (Uk’otoa) once and for all.

Honourable mentions go to an Exandria Unlimited series set in either Blightshore or the Shattered Teeth, but since we don’t know yet where Bell’s Hells journeys will take them (bc while M9 didn’t travel far from Wildemount, VM were quite the globe- and planetrotters), I decided to leave those off the wishlist.

#kc speaks #Critical Role #CR Cast #literally how the hell do i tag this #kc's top five

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ajoytobeheld · 7 months

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End of Year Travels: Part One…ooooooh

December 14th, 2007

Hello and other festive greetings, I trust this blog finds everyone eating mince pies or at least contemplating the eating of mince pies. We managed to witness the xmas build up in Canada, North America and Japan so my brain is now riddled with carols and Cliff Richard songs.

The last two and a half weeks was a lovely finale to a extremely surreal year, we witnessed sunshine, frost bite inducing snow [has anyone else heard that apparently when you get frostbite your fingers feel like warmed marshmallows, ie, crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside??? Ellen informed me of this a couple of days into our trip and I think that lovely image is definitely worth sharing with as many people as possible] and Gareth wearing little blue pants and a knitted mask at dinner. ( He had clothes on under the pants, which in a way makes him a bit like a freaky superman) (Pictures to follow)

The plane ride to LA was rather touching for us all as we were able to watch the masterpiece that is Ratatouille, which made some of our more sensitive members nearly cry, perhaps because of the parallels between the morals in the story and our own lives. The take home message is that “Anyone can cook,” and I like to apply this to myself as “anyone can make music.” Apart from that awful brother/sister duo on The X Factor. They really should be stopped.

We started out our adventure in LA which was a sprawling hubbub of confusing juxtaposition. There was poverty combined with the promotion of celebrity glamour (e.g people begging outside the kodak theatre where the Oscars take place) and a lot of Scientology related buildings. It’s WEIRD how seriously they all take it - there was the L Ron Hubbard Celebrity Community Centre (which we were assured did a lovely brunch), the L Ron Hubbard Christmas display, the L Ron Hubbard life exhibition and the various L Ron Hubbard workers trying to convince you to do “personality tests.” It apparently is the religion of now and in La would go perfectly with your Hermes bag and small obligatory dog. But LA did contain Ameoba records, which has everything. No, honestly, everything.

We also made a video out there, which sounds far more glamourous than it actually was because it was filmed in a recording studio so it could have been anywhere. But it was nice to sit around in the sunshine. I can’t say too much about the video before it is aired to the five people who will watch it, but it does involve small furry things which meow. I may have said too much. There is also a starring role from our lovely sound technician/tour manager Todge, which is maybe not Oscar worthy but should be given a nod from the Baftas. [Actually it’s up on youtube now so CHECK IT. And don’t worry, although it’s hard to believe given the skill of our acting, we are all alive and well. Although I have pulled a tendon in my knee. But that has nothing to do with the video.

There was also an afternoon spent in Melrose in the hopes of celebrity spotting (unsuccessful) which saw us discovering some ‘interesting’ Necromance shops featuring human bones, posters of how to perform surgery, books with titles like “the most fashionable clothes for mourning”, and my personal favourite– black toilet paper.] We did some shows also in LA, San Fran, New York, Boston, Ottowa, Toronoto and Montreal. San Francisco seemed to be where the crazies liked to hang out and generally talk to themselves, while we were having cocktails I witnessed a man continuously lifting a plastic bag up and down for an hour at what we thought was a bus stop. It turned out to a lamp post. He wasn’t waiting for a bus. He was just slightly eccentric.

New York was particularly fun as we got to play with our friends Johnny Foreigner again who were there recording their debut album, it also meant we got to go to Whole foods again which is perhaps the most magical food store in New York. [or the world] There was also a good two hours where is seemed Bright Eyes might come to our show, which where perhaps the most nervous of my life, I turned down cake because I was so nervous. He couldn’t make it, my dreams were dashed. [and you missed out on cake]

Boston was where we first witnessed lots of snow leading to cold feet and constant giddy excitement from Neil, who really likes snow. [aaaaaaand they gave us freshly baked WARM cookies when we arrived at the hotel. Pretty sweet.] In Ottowa we got apples in the hotel and some people received free champagne on their arrival. It was also where we got our bags throughly searched at the airport, with Gareth getting his toothbrush and ipod (!) swabbed for drugs. How cliched do they really think we are, we are strickly a // injected into the eyeball sort of band.

It was also where seven shots of a mysterious substance turned up on the right hand side of the stage [the crowd did try to help us solve the mystery by calling out that the drinks were called ‘Tracksuits’ …which didn’t really help]. We all accepted it politely and drank some (apart from Neil because he just isn’t cool) and luckily it wasn’t Rohypnol. It was alcoholic Irun Bru.

Toronto was where we were reunited with one of our favourite places, and caught up with some lovely people from Arts and Crafts including our favorite driver Aaron, who we convinced to come to Montreal with us the next day and miss work. His constant farting in the car made this journey rather difficult. [The drive was so loooooooooooong– why can’t they just build cities closer together??? It’s just open space in between…it SO wouldn’t make a difference. But luckily we were entertained on the way by our new driver Sam and his stories of how as a wee lad he excitedly volunteered to do a presentation on Toxic Shock Syndrome thinking it sounded really cool…until he realised it was to do with tampons. Gutted.]

We had heard so much about Montreal and were all rather excited about getting to see this lovely European style town where the fact they spoke French and they weren’t IN FRANCE was a huge novelty. I attribute that statement to myself, novelty for me is of course normal life for the Montrealians.

The thing about being in a band and that is places you want to see…you wont, you will see the street you are on between sound check and performance, which means you will see the restaurant/ Tim Hortons you eat in.

We supported Broken Social Scene, and the venue was rather beautiful but the fact wehad to get up at half five in the morning really really sucked… …to be continued…

As this blog has turned super long we thought we’d give you lovely readers a break. That is if anyone persevered to get to this bit. Also it gives us something to do when we inevitably get bored next week. So stay tuned – Part 2 to come. Lots of love, Ellen and Aleks x

#2007 #lc!blog

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kakeroi · 2 years

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Online Games - The Best live Games Pastime

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capriciouswriter207 · 2 years

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Hi! I want to help with your empires smp dnd project, because I love both of those things a lot and generally know quite a bit about them. But quick question, how do I help? What's something specific I could help with. I know a lot about dming, watched all of LDShadowLady's videos, and am generally an ideator. What can I do to help, and how do I get it to you?

Hi, thanks for the interest!

So far, I’ve written stuff on:

possible cleric deities & warlock patrons

Currency (mostly because of cp)

Dragons

And I still plan to write some stuff about:

Minecraft hostile/neutral mobs

Different planes of existence

Basic world history

possible adventure hooks/dungeon locations

(obligatory mention of the overview of everything I hope to include and a neat little temporary doc with everything that's already written)

But what I definitely need the most (and am procrastinating at the moment) is just basic lore and history about all the empires. You say you've watched all of Lizzie's episodes and I have not watched any, so you could definitely help with that. For these sections, I'm looking specifically for the following info: basic history, goverment type, exports, notable alliances and enemies, notable locations and landmarks, notable events, climate, demography.

What I also need is for someone (knowledgeable) to read over the doc for phrasing and such, but that's something for way later.

I'll send you my email address in a PM, to facilitate communication.

#empires smp #empires smp s1 #empires dnd #already many thanks for the help!#should probably write a more concise post in the near future

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getoutofmyjaneway · 3 years

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Beta Cannon: the Pre Voyager Era of Kathryn Janeway | Mosaic v The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

This weekend, I got a copy of the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway from a local book store. For how frequently we speak about Mosaic in the community (despite having some flaws) I was shocked that I had not heard a lot about this book and assumed it was a bad thing. And yeah in some regards it was (see @mia-cooper’s post on the subject). I have a lot of feelings (I’ll post a proper review at a later point) but one thing that did stick out to me is the divergence from what we have considered Beta Canon, aka, the extended universe of Star Treks told through novels, short stories, video games, etc. After completing the novel, I jumped right into my old standby copy of Mosaic, which has dictated a lot of Janeway’s back story since 96. Both of these novels cover the beginnings of Janeway’s life and how she was shaped into the woman we know.

TLDR The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway changes a lot of things for no reason. Some of these are for the good. Some for the bad. And some, for like no good reason at all, like it was fine as it was, and was accepted cannon for like 25 years, but sure fine whatever.

I will mention that, as Mosaic has been a book in my library and I have read it too many times, so of course, I do have a bias toward it. Additionally, I feel like it is fair to mention here that authors of Fanfiction have leaned on this as their bibles since 1996 as Mosaic is written by Jeri Taylor, one of the show-runners for Voyager. Because of its connection with a showrunner, Mosaic is also integrated into the canon of the show. It seems that most points that are taken from Mosaic in the Autobiography are only included because of their existence in cannon material.

Anyway, this review is going to focus on the characters that shape Kathryn and I will end with my final thoughts. This is long so to respect your dash, you are going to have to click keep reading. You’re welcome.

Obligatory Spoiler Warning for ALL of Mosaic, chapter 13 of Pathways, and chapters 1-7 of The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

Edward Janeway

In all media, I feel like we can safely say that Kathryn Janeway is in fact a daddy’s girl. Her relationship with her father is very important to her, so it is interesting to see how it is portrayed very differently in both novels. In Mosaic, a lot of the highlights of Janeway’s earlier years revolve around time spent with him. From giving her special attention after ‘Your Sister’ was born, to consoling her after her losing tennis match and subsequent walk home in the rain, and trips to Mars, Kathryn mentions great fondness of quality time spent. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway he is more described as an absent father, one that she always wanted to see and please. When he was home, she wanted all of his attention and to impress him greatly. She wished to follow in his footsteps after gaining a love of flight and the stars with a plane ride and a telescope he gave her. He tried to prepare her by detaining the events of the current conflict with Cardassia and inviting Starfleet brass over for dinner. Overall, in her early childhood, it makes more sense for Edward to not be around often. There is not a lot of conflict between the sources, other than the details of the aforementioned tennis match and different childhood nicknames.

Edward is in a crash aboard an experimental ship on Tau Ceti Prime which leads to his death. This is where the big differences begin. In Mosaic, Kathryn and her fiancé are also on board. In Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, Kathryn is still on the Al-Batani. The fall out of this event has a great effect on Kathryn of course in both novels. As this is a missive shaping event of Kathryn’s life, I felt it very jarring to be changed. This moment shaped Janeway and gives us good context for why she handles situations the way she does. I see this trauma and I understand her character better, for dealing with the loss of two of the most important people in her life all at once.

Gretchen Janeway

The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway was good to Gretchen Janeway as her character is basically a blank slate. We know little about her from Mosaic as it mostly focuses on Kathryn’s relationship with her father (and other male influences in her life). It is nice to learn more things about Grechen as with Edward’s job, it is likely that Kathryn was mainly raised by her. Other than being an artist, she also wrote some of the Flotter holos and wrote a number of children’s stories about the people of Bajor during the occupation. She does a lot of humanitarian work with the refugees from Bajor during the occupation. She loves to garden and get her daughters involved. She has a close bond with Phoebe due to their overlapping interests, but you can tell that she strives to support her in what she does. Overall, I like getting know Gretchen to be someone of than Kathryn’s mother.

Phoebe Janeway

I was shocked when researching Memory Alpha for this review, Phoebe is never named in any Cannon media up to this point (Star Trek Prodigy could very well change this). We know Janeway has a sister and she is an artist, but that is it. Both novels keep her very similar personality-wise. In both stories, Kathryn is not looking forward to being a big sister. They also both mourn the loss of their father together. In Mosaic, she is not mentioned much. Kathryn tells her she is not old enough on an off planet trip and Phoebe plays pranks on her. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway goes much more into depth. They don’t get along when they are younger. They fight a lot. I feel this is a very realistic portrayal of real siblings, vying for attention and approval, snapping when they don’t get their way. They both excel at what they do, Kathryn in her studies and Phoebe through her art. They seem to need to one-up each other at every turn. As they grow up, they grow closer together, as many siblings do. Points added for giving Phoebe a wife, something which has been included in a lot of fanfiction. Overall, there are no big conflicting points.

Mark Johnson

Kathryn’s fiance at the time of the Voyager’s disappearance, Mark is a very different part of Kathryn’s life in both novels. In Mosaic, he is a childhood friend and went by his middle name Hobbs. Seemingly always two steps behind Kathryn, he did a lot of the same activities that she did, tennis and swimming in the underground cave systems. He did these poorly, and this makes Kathryn always look down upon him. They reconnected after her father’s death and she fell head-over-heels for him. Personally, I always felt this was a little uncharacteristic of Kathryn, to run away from her responsibilities to be with a man. It just seems very out of character and has always bothered me. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway takes a completely different approach. She meets Mark as a friend of Pheobe and her wife as a widower. They hit it off and they fall hard. You can see the conflict in Kathryn as she debates how to move forward with a relationship as they have different outlooks on life. She has a drive to explore but does not want to be an absent parent. She debates quitting, which I don’t think is something Janeway would have ever done. Overall she decides to accept Mark’s proposal just before taking command of Voyager. This makes the Dear John situation a lot more believable as it makes sense that he would want to move on with his life much quicker. Overall, I have to just ask, why? I know Mark doesn’t have a lot of character, but why change basically their whole relationship dynamic?

Justin Tighe

Justin is a character I actually like for selfish reasons. This explains why I was very miffed that he was nowhere to be seen in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Justin is Kathryn’s first love, they were coworkers, engaged and in love, and dies in the same accident that takes her father. As a person who always wanted Chakotay and Janeway to get together, this incident perfectly gives the reason. She is afraid to get romantically involved with a crew member because of the nature of the job. This dynamic is seen between Picard and Nella Daren in TNG very well. Kathryn has learned the hard way that she can lose a person under her command and how it feels when you are in love with that person. In early Voyager, you can see she isolates herself from the crew and it takes time for her to get comfortable. And during Night she relapses to her old ways. This is the way I have always justified Janeway’s reluctance to have a romantic relationship during their time in the Delta Quadrant. By understanding her background, I have a lot of respect for that choice. Her relationship with Justin really shaped how she handles relationships and without the impact he had on her life, it actually makes her character weaker.

Owen Paris

Owen is Kathryn’s mentor. In Mosaic, they meet as he is reviewing her junior honors thesis advisor on massive compact halo objects. From here they gained a relationship built on respect and learning. It makes sense that, as he was her personal mentor, that she would be close with his family, and why she would seek out Tom as a person to bring with her to the Badlands mission. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, she does not meet him until she is on the Al-Batani. This doesn’t only weaken her relationship with Admiral Paris, but moreover weakens her relationship with Tom. If he was her superior officer, why would she develop such a ‘big sister’ mentality to Tom if she didn’t have as many opportunities to meet him?

Tuvok

Mosaic does not go too much in depth with Tuvok and Janeway’s relationship, but its sister novel Pathways does. In Pathways, Tuvok meets Janeway when he is an ensign under her command of the USS Bonestell. The Bonestell and the Billings, two ships that Janeway served on, tend to get confused a lot. Most sources have Janeway’s first command as the Voyager, Including Voyager itself - “It doesn't seem like my first command is shaping up the way I expected,” Janeway Shattered. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway has her and Tuvok meet on the Al-Batani. I actually really like the dynamic between them, as they grow to respect each other over a much longer period of time. I also like that, though Janeway climbs through the ranks, it does not change their relationship dynamic as she still relies on him and asks him advice as if they were equals. I think giving them a longer time to build their relationship. Also would like to note that Janeway and Tuvok also had a friendship with the original CMO of Voyager, Dr. Fitzgerald. I always wanted to know more about the Pre-Caretaker crew and I would have loved to see this dynamic and how the grief of losing a close personal friend in the Caretaker incident would impact them both.

Also I feel obligated to shout out the Janeway and Tuvok story in Star Trek Waypoint One-Shot. I need to get around to doing a series retrospective, but this short story I have not seen anyone talk about and I love it so much. Please read Waypoint. Okay next.

Other characters

Cheb - Janeway’s boyfriend in Mosaic. He was kind of an asshole and got her into trouble. He is not in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway and I see no problem with this.

Boothby - “[he is the] head groundskeeper at Starfleet Academy. When I was a cadet, he used to give me fresh roses for my quarters,” Janeway Revulsion. Boothby is not in Mosaic. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, it is explained that her mother loved to garden and this was something that Boothby did as a gradian figure to make her feel at home and destress. Makes sense.

Aisha - A childhood friend of Katheryn’s. Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Mosaic has this weird thing about highlighting the relationships with only the men in her life, so it is nice to see her have some other female friends.

Nexa - Katheryn’s roommate at the Academy. Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Nexa helps broaden Kathryn’s horizons by helping to learn about Exoliguisticts, first contact, and the Betazoid culture. Again nice to see her have other female friends.

Riker - Yes they go on a date in Mosaic. He is not mentioned in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. I know he is a gag character but I still liked it.

-----------------------

Final Thoughts

A lot of characters were changed between these two novels. There is a lot to like and a lot to hate. I really like what the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway did with characters like Tuvok and Gretchen Janeway. Other characters were not so lucky (Justin, sweetie I’m so sorry that they would erase you like that, oh my god). It’s a mixed bag, but one thing I need say is... why?

We have had a good thing going here with the established canon as is. Mosaic (and Pathways) is the foundation of which the last 25 years of fanworks and the relaunch novels are based on. Why change history when it is already written?

Always, would love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading my novel of a post. I will see you in the full review.

#star trek #star trek voyager #kathryn janeway #janeway #voyager #voyager book club #star trek novel #the autobiography of kathryn janeway

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127-mile · 3 years

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DANS LES CATACOMBES | IN THE CATACOMBS. the sign above the door was written in french. it read: ARRÊTE! C’EST ICI L’EMPIRE DE LA MORT. - paul aertker, brainwashed.

PAIRING: Hanse x gender neutral reader.

GENRE: Established relationship, horror, angst.

WARNINGS: Mention of bones, drugs and alcohol, non-explicit mention of cults, blood and human sacrifices, mention of deaths, of the use of a ouija board and voices.

PLOT: You thought a walk in the catacombs would be a nice date, but how wrong you were.

WORD COUNT: 1.5k.

A/N: This is part of the Legends never die, the untold stories collab hosted by @nayuyeons. The tags are a lot scarier than the fic.

“At the end of the 18th century, major health problems linked to the city’s cemeteries led to the decision to transfer their contents underground. The Parisian authorities chose an easily accessible site, then located outside the capital: the old quarries de la Tombe-Issoire, under the plain of Montrouge. The first evacuations took place from 1785 to 1787 and affected the most important cemetery in Paris, the Saints-Innocents.”

“The bones, previously left loose, are carefully organized in the walls, on the model of quarrymen’s hagues. On the front, the rows of shins alternate with those of skulls, while behind the facings pile up the remaining bones, often very fragmented by the consequences of their fall.”

“There are 6 million skeletons stored in the catacombs ossuary, which is about 3 times more than Parisians! The Municipal Ossuary of the Catacombs is one of the largest ossuaries in the world.” (i translated these parts from the catacombs website back from my doyoung catacombs fic, i just used them again)

You barely hear the guide's voice, far too busy trying to ignore Hanse's lips on the back of your neck, his hot breath against your skin, and his hands gripping your waist. Several times you have tried to push him away, but the lack of movement does nothing other than to prompt him to stay glued to your back.

"That's not what we're here for." you whisper as you step on his foot hard enough to make him wince.

"I'm bored, I already know everything he's telling us." he responds by letting his arms fall to his sides.

You know, he knows it, you were next to him on the plane when he was reading the catacombs website. But it is an obligatory passage before the special visit begins.

Because yes, it is not a visit like the others.

Normally, the Paris Catacombs tour happens during the day, when the sun is high in the sky, and only the accessible and secure parts are visited, but today is a special day.

The tour takes place at night, and what will be visited will be the caves where strange events are said to have happened.

"Do you think the rumors are true?" he asks in a low voice, he refuses to be heard by the guide, he prefers you answering him, rather than hearing the boring and slow voice of the man who has been doing this for far too long.

"Some people were traumatized by the caves, but they were also drunk and on drugs, so I don't know how much we can believe the rumors."

And the events happened more than fifteen years ago, so water has flowed under the bridges, and who knows if the rumors haven't changed over time.

He nods, and finally the guide starts moving so you take his hand in yours and you follow the group.

"Are we allowed to use professional equipment?" someone asks, and you hear the guide chuckle.

"I do not advise you to do it, the caves are very unstable, we do not want interference, or too strong waves to cause the caves to collapse on us. That would be sad, especially because you signed a waiver that forbid you from suing us."

Always read the waiver before signing it, you think, looking around. The man stops in a first cave, and he clears his throat. You have the impression that a mere burst of voice could bring the place down. Everything echoes, even your breathing.

“Apparently in the 1980s a cult found a way to get to the catacombs to perform sacrifices. You would like me to tell you that these were animal sacrifices, but no. Authorities found remains of humans that have been drained of their blood right in the middle of this cave."

Looking over the shoulder of the person in front of you, you notice a dark stain on the floor, but it's not strong enough evidence to prove that it happened. It could be a wet stain, or some idiot spilling something on the ground years ago without the guide seeing it.

"Do you have something that has been proven? Because we are wasting our time."

Your eyes widen when you hear Hanse's voice. He really isn't the most patient person when it comes to a guided tour. You suddenly remember when you went through the most haunted museum in the United States, he practically pushed the guide aside to make the tour himself.

You don't blame him, you don't even get mad, it actually makes your heart beat a little faster.

"If you wanted to get to the good stuff immediately you should have entered illegally." the guide responds by continuing the tour.

About twenty minutes pass, the guide tells more stories as strange and impossible as the other. Hanse is getting more and more annoyed, you can feel it by the way he squeezes your hand every time he enters a new part of the catacombs.

"There are loads of haunted places in Paris, why did you choose the catacombs?" he mumbles, and you shrug your shoulders.

"Maybe because you've always wanted to visit them?"

"And here we are in the last cave. This one is dedicated to our impatient young man in the back of the line."

If Hanse had less restraint, he would certainly be insulting the guide, but instead he steps further into the cave. "Come on, surprise us with another made-up story."

"This one is not made up." he says in a firm voice, and Hanse throws his head back laughing. His laugh hits against the walls, and the echo makes you shiver in an unpleasant way.

"So you admit that the others are made up? What are you willing to do to make money." he answers, and you wonder if the guide will hit him when he clenches his fists.

"You gave me your money to hear these stories, so shut up and let the others enjoy."

"Come on baby, let him do his job." you whisper as you take his arm, your head resting against his shoulder.

“In the early 2000s, a bunch of teens decided to enter the catacombs illegally, and they got lost. Unfortunately, when they were found they were already dead. Since then, the people wandering too far away in the catacombs, or people who come to renovate say they hear voices."

Everyone is silent, even Hanse, which is strange.

"A video was found, a video that was never allowed to be shown to the public in an attempt to trace the identities of these people, but the police were allowed to watch it, and informations were leaked."

"In this video you can see the teens running, presumably being chased by someone. Or rather, by something."

Whether this story is true, or made up, your eyes widen, it's crazy.

"Some people can still hear the teens calling for help, screaming and crying because of the thing chasing them."

There is silence in the cave, and you look around, frowning. You don't know if it's because of the story, or some trick played by your mind, but it feels like you are hearing a claw all around you. As if someone was scratching one of the walls.

"Do you hear that?" you ask near Hanse's ear who nods his head.

“People, so called paranormal professionals came with a ouija board. And by wanting to talk to the teenagers, they called something more powerful, something even worse than what caused the teens' deaths."

Your blood freezes when you hear a sudden cry. The scream is so loud, and so close to your ear that you are sure if you turn around you will see someone behind you screaming their lungs out, but there is no one there. You do not feel any presence behind you, and even Hanse who is looking around, does not react.

"What was that?" you ask, panicked.

"One of the teenagers. They want to get out. They are tired of being locked up in the catacombs. And I understand them. It's hard to always be here, to have to listen to the cries of the grieving souls without being able to go out."

A new scream is heard, and this time, you have no choice but to put your hands against your ears to muffle the noise that could make you cry because of how loud and so full of pain it is.

"Stop it, make it stop, please!" someone exclaims.

If you are paralyzed, Hanse seems unable to stay still, he is ready to pounce on the guide who is scaring everyone. Who is scaring you, you, whose heart hasn't even raced in the most haunted places you've visited in the past three years.

"It's okay, we got it, you know how to tell stories, and you know how to scare us, now bring us back to the surface!" he growls, and the other tourists seem to agree with him.

Except that..

Except that when you turn in the direction of the guide, he is gone.

#victon #victon imagines #victon scenarios #hanse imagines #hanse scenarios

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brokehorrorfan · 3 years

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Blu-ray Review: The Sergio Martino Collection

Following a successful first foray into the genre with 1971's The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh, Italian maestro Sergio Martino rode the giallo wave for a prolific period in the early 1970s (and continued to dabble later in his career). Arrow Video has collected their previous Blu-ray releases of three Italian thrillers directed by Martino - 1971's The Case of the Scorpion’s Tail, 1972's Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key, and 1975's The Suspicious Death of a Minor - into a box set, appropriately dubbed The Sergio Martino Collection, with a new slipcase designed by Marc Schoenbach.

The Case of the Scorpion's Tail follows Lisa Baumer (Evelyn Stewart, The Psychic), newly widowed after her estranged husband dies in a mysterious plane crash. She's informed that she's the beneficiary of his $1 million life insurance policy, of which she claims to have no knowledge. Suspicious, the insurance agency send an investigator, Peter Lynch (George Hilton, The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh), to follow her from London to Athens where she will collect her cash payment.

The script, credited to Eduardo Manzanos (The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh), Ernesto Gastaldi's (Torso), and Sauro Scavolini (All the Colors of the Dark), employs a Psycho-esque misdirect, killing off the presumed lead at the end of the first act. The subversion works marvelously, but the movie becomes more procedural - and less interesting - after the fact. Peter assumes the focus of the story, teaming with journalist Cléo Dupont (Anita Strindberg, A Lizard in a Woman's Skin) as they weave through suspects to uncover the killer before more lives are claimed.

Clearly produced in response to the success of Dario Argento's genre-shaping The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, The Case of the Scorpion's Tail no only has a prolix animal title (which, in this case, has no relevance to the plot), but also evokes early Argento's aesthetic, from the stylish cinematography by Emilio Foriscot (The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh) to the jazzy score by frequent Ennio Morricone collaborator Bruno Nicolai (Caligula). Of course, the ubiquitous black-gloved killer, gory death scenes, and obligatory bottle of J&B are present.

The Case of the Scorpion's Tail has been restored in 2K from the original camera negative with original lossless mono Italian (with newly-translated subtitles) and English soundtracks. Chris Malbon designed the new cover art, while the original poster is on the reverse side. The individual Blu-ray was previously released in 2018.

A 2006 audio commentary with Gastaldi is presented in Italian with English subtitles. Notably, he explains that because the film was a co-production with Spain, writers from both countries had to be credited, but he wrote the screenplay himself. Martino sits down for a 47-minute interview in which he discusses the film in detail, including the real-life inspiration, production anecdotes, and its shocking violence (to which he attributes the film's success). Hilton is also interviewed, the highlight of which is when he candidly describes Strindberg's early breast implants as "two blocks of marble."

Film historian Mikel J. Koven provides an analysis of Martino's gialli output with a focus on Scorpion's Tail. He makes a fascinating point regarding the filmmaker's lack of a signature style; unlike his contemporary giallo luminaries Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci, and Mario Bava, Marinto adapted to whatever genre he was making. So Deadly, So Perverse: 50 Years of Italian Giallo Films author Troy Howarth celebrates Gastaldi's prolific career in a visual essay, making a strong argument that the journeyman screenwriter is worthy of the same reverence placed on filmmakers. The theatrical trailer and an image gallery are also included.

Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key is certainly one of, if not the most conspicuous giallo titles, in addition to being one of Martino's stronger efforts in the genre. (The phrase previously appeared on a mysterious note from the killer in The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh a year prior.) Screenwriters Gastaldi, Scavolini, and Adriano Bolzoni (A Fistful of Dollars) integrate borrowed elements from Edgar Allan Poe's 1843 short story "The Black Cat," introducing Gothic flourishes among the giallo tropes.

By today's standards, the film requires a number of trigger warnings before the murders even begin. The opening scene introduces Oliviero (Luigi Pistilli, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly) - a once-successful author now suffering from writer's block who drowns his sorrows in alcohol - exhibiting abusive, chauvinistic, and humiliating behavior toward his wife, Irina (Strindberg), and their Black maid, Brenda (Angela La Vorgna), in front of a party of people.

From there. the plot consists of several threads: a serial killer armed with a billhook targeting women; the cover up of a murder for which Oliviero is the primary suspect; the arrival of Oliviero's niece, Floriana (Edwige Fenech, Five Dolls for an August Moon); Oliviero's unhealthy obsession with his late mother; and Irina's fear of their black cat, Satan. It ties together nicely for the most part, offering several twists along the way, all handsomely captured by cinematographer Giancarlo Ferrando (Troll 2).

Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key has been restored in 2K from the original camera negative with original lossless mono Italian (with subtitles) and English soundtracks. Matt Griffin designed the new cover art, while the original poster is on the reverse side. The individual Blu-ray was previously released in 2016.

In a 32-minute interview, Martino discusses his influences for the film beyond Poe, which include a real-life murder-for-hire plot and 1955's Les Diaboliques. He also credits Quentin Tarantino for helping people to discover his work all these years later, talks about working with the cat, and more. Unveiling the Vice is a 22-minute retrospective from 2005 with Martino, Gastaldi, and Fenech, all of whom reminisce fondly about the production. Tarantino comes up again, this time with Fenech noting that he pointed out to her that Your Vice marked a transition in her career from playing wholesome characters to being the “bad” girl.

Three other featurettes include: a visual essay by film historian Michael Mackenzie exploring Martino's contributions to the giallo genre, a featurette on Fenech's career by film historian Justin Harries, and an interview with filmmaker Eli Roth in which he expresses his love for the film and explains how Martino influenced Hostel: Part II.

Although its title is intended to evoke Martino's earlier thrillers, The Suspicious Death of a Minor (also known as Too Young to Die) blends the wonted giallo tropes with poliziotteschi (Euro-crime) elements and unexpected doses of comedy. The atypical mash-up is potent, with entertaining action set pieces ranging from an extended car chase to a gunfight on a roller coaster along with such colorful dialogue as "Boy, I'd love to kick her in the crotch" and "Any telltale traces of love juice, doctor?" (Its broad attempts at slapstick tomfoolery are less successful.) If nothing else, the genre blending makes the movie stand out among its peers.

After setting the tone by barraging the viewer with a Goblin-esque prog rock theme by Luciano Michelini (who composed Curb Your Enthusiasm's unmistakable theme) - which is repeated liberally throughout the movie - Marisa (Patrizia Castaldi in her only film role) and detective Paolo Germi (Claudio Cassinelli, Slave of the Cannibal God) are introduced at a dance hall. Marisa is being chased by a man, and it's not long before the assailant catches and kills her. It’s not the killer's identity that’s a mystery - he’s shown on camera committing the deed (albeit hidden behind dark sunglasses) - so much as his motivation.

Paolo soon discovers Marisa’s body, setting into motion an investigation into a serial killer targeting underage prostitutes. The script, written by Martino and Gastaldi, doesn't tread lightly around the sensitive subject matter, particularly from the point of view of its crass lead character. The Suspicious Death of a Minor would make for an interesting pairing with Hardcore; instead of pornography, its exploration into a similarly seedy underworld exposes an environment of violence, drugs, corruption, and exploitation.

The Suspicious Death of a Minor has been restored in 2K from the original camera negative with original lossless mono Italian (with subtitles) and English soundtracks. Chris Malbon designed the new cover art, while the original poster is on the reverse side. The individual Blu-ray was previously released in 2017.

Martino gives another lengthy interview, this time 42 minutes, in which he dissects the film in detail, beginning by addressing the blended genres and the misleading title. He also discusses the tragic helicopter crash that killed Cassinelli on the set of his later effort, Hands of Steel, as well as a non-fatal stunt gone wrong during Suspicious Death. Troy Howarth's audio commentary provides further context regarding the film’s approach and other aspects of production in a conversational tone.

The Sergio Martino Collection is a perfect primer for anyone interested in exploring the giallo genre beyond Argento, Fulci, and Bava. As far as gialli and Martino's contributions to the genre go, it's a fairly eclectic sampling. Those who already own the original releases have little incentive to double dip, but otherwise it's a no-brainer, as the set ends up costing about the same as the individual releases but includes the slipcase.

The Sergio Martino Collection is available now via Arrow Video.

#sergio martino #giallo #italiano horror #70s horror #1970s horror #gialli #arrow video #dvd #gift #article #review #marc schoenbach #the case of the scorpion’s tail #the suspicious death of a minor #your vice is a locked room and only i have the key

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smallmediumproblems · 3 years

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Neuralblendered Podcasts

Seeing people play around with Neuralblender, so I had a lovely idea: What do podcasts look like? Let’s start with the creepy ones, and of course, the obligatory:

[Image description: A Neuralblender image from the prompt The Magnus Archives that resembles several cluttered filing cabinets and shelves. The lighting is washed-out and tinted faintly green, and the cabinets all appear to be a worn and rustic wood. Description ends.]

Not off to a bad start. I love that it knew it needed a swatch of glowing green but wasn’t sure what to do with it, so it’s just kind of emanating up from between the shelves. 8/10, good aesthetic but could use more eyes. Please note that these ratings don’t reflect on the podcasts themselves, merely Neuralblender’s interpretation.

More under the cut because Lots Of Images, I will probably run out of space so I’ll try to group them by flavor. Death by Dying, I am SO so sorry, but all of yours came out... deeply unsettling. Even for Neuralblender standards.

[Image description: A Neuralblender image from the prompt The Silt Verses that resembles a close-up of sand dunes, or maybe a pale yellow wrinkled cloth. There are two splotches of darker yellow that are more textured like scales or scabbed skin, and in one corner there are lines of black marks that look like text. Description ends.]

Nailed the verses, not so much the silt. Much more desert-ey than I was expecting. Maybe it’s looking at distance shots of rivers...? That almost looks like ripples in water, with little islets in it even. I’m realizing I have a fundamental misunderstanding of what silt is and looks like. 7/10, needs more crabs.

[Image description: A Neuralblender image from the prompt The White Vault that resemble an interior doorway in some kind of ice fort. The walls are opaque white and look like chipped stone or thick ice, and there is a sort of utility panel on the wall next to the doorway. The doorway is a large, simply hewn arch. Blue light shines in from somewhere, as though through ice. Description ends.]

THAT’S what I’m talking about! It’s not that it looks like Outpost Fristed, even a little bit. It’s just got all the elements smushed into one little square. Technology from the arctic base, including just a hint of halogen lighting? check. Ice? Triple check, I literally said the word three times in the description. Kinda spooky? Probably something hiding around the corner through that doorway? Quadruple check. The only thing it’s missing is a stone altar of some kind, and I’ll excuse that because the archway looks like it’s from an ice witch’s castle. 11/10.

[Image description: A Neuralblender image from the prompt Archive 81 that resembles a crowded line of people outside a building. The building is large, brown, unmarked, and industrial-looking, perhaps a warehouse. The entire image has a purple tint and grainy, distorted edges, which makes it look like a distorted video image. Description ends.]

That’s... Huh. Not sure how to feel about that. Like, for the first season, I dig it. That’s definitely probably what the actual archive looks like, I’ll give it that. If I saw this without context, I would say it looks haunted af and belongs on a creepy pasta forum. 8/10, I’m liking the meta aspect of it being a video shot but it’s missing the later seasons.

[Image description: A Neuralblender image from the prompt I Am In Eskew that resembles a very wide shot of a landscape, as though taken from a plane, with grassy farmland and some tall buildings. The farmland has distinct green and light brown squares. The buildings are thin and white with many windows, almost like skyscrapers or apartment buildings from a much closer angle than the rest of the landscape. There is a line of trees on the horizon under a clear blue sky. At the bottom of the image, there is a block of thick white and black lines that resemble text. Description Ends.]

FKJDSGFJK IT’S SO PLEASANT! Yes, hello, come to Eskew we have rolling farms and weird spine buildings. I’m noticing all sorts of things now that I’m looking closely at it, there’s something that aaaaalmost looks like a mausoleum in the top rightish corner. And is that just a pit? In the middle on the left? 10/10 because damn if that not-text doesn’t almost look like the word Eskew.

[Image description: A Neuralblender image from the prompt The Underwood Collection that resembles some kind of typing and/or printing device. There’s a typewriter keyboard in one corner, and something that could be a small, black, electric piano board in another. Most of the image is taken up by something that looks like an industrial printer or fax machine. Description Ends.]

I don’t know what I was expecting- something a little more organic, maybe? Books? Papers? Bugs...? I adore the fact that it has the same color scheme as the Magnus Archives one. 7/10, no spooky ghost light.

[Image description: A Neuralblender image from the prompt Hello from the Hallowoods that resembles the front of a house. The house has white boards and clean white light coming out of one window and one open door. There is a person-like shape near the door standing behind a green blob that could be a hedge. Several orange circular objects float around the image with black markings on them, they look a bit like jack-o-lanterns. Description ends.]

Full disclosure: I don’t really go here. But I see it talked about enough that I had to add it. On one hand, I feel like NB adorably misunderstood the entire sentence, or thought that I made a typo. On the other hand, I have genuinely no idea how accurate this is or is not. ??/10, aren’t there supposed to be... woods...?

[Image description: A Neuralblender image from the prompt Welcome to Nightvale resembling a paving-stone walkway leading forward, with light silk curtains off to both sides. The path and the curtains are both bright, nightvale-ian purple, and the path leads off into complete darkness. Description ends.]

Well, it got the color down, that’s nice. Not sure about the entire rest of it. I’m sure that Nightvale HAS cobblestone roads lined with silk curtains that lead into the void, but is it a defining part of the podcast? I would not say so. Where are the angels? The hooded figures, the government agents? The lights above the Arby’s? 5/10, looks more like a circus than a small desert community.

[Image Description: A Neuralblender image from the prompt Old Gods of Appalachia. Most of the frame is a tall, broad mountain range covered in fluffy greenery that looks like foliage. In the foreground, there are several blue objects that look corrugated and manmade. The sky above the mountains is filled with streaks of pale purple and roiling black clouds. On the left of the picture, halfway offscreen, there is a tall structure or figure outlined in dark black and sickly green. If it is a figure, it looks corpselike. Description ends.]

Yoooo this might be my favorite one yet!! It’s got industrial decay, weird magic lightning, lots and lots of trees, biiiiiig mountains. I did not at all notice the... thing... over on the left, on the first pass, it is creepy as hell and definitely adds to the overall. 11/10, that sure is an Appalachia.

#podcasts #unreality #neuralblender #I haven't had good luck with neural blender up until I tried these #so this is exciting for me

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morethanaprincess-a · 3 years

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As they’ve started to become relevant in a few verses and threads, I wanted to write a little bit about some of Sonia’s extended family. Thus, here is some information about His Royal Highness Prince Arthur, Duke of Neuchatel (King Alexandre’s brother and only sibling, and Sonia’s uncle) and his family.

Note: Each member of this family is referred to as “His/Her Royal Highness” or “Your Highness,” despite Arthur and Olivia being the Duke and Duchess of Neuchatel. Because they are the sole Royal Duke and Duchess (with their titles granted to them upon marriage by the former King), they are addressed as Royal Highnesses as opposed to “Your Grace,” which is how other Dukes and Duchesses within Novoselic would be spoken of and to, if a servant or commoner is addressing them (at parties, or among those in the aristocracy, they are referred to as ‘Duke’ or ‘Duchess.’ No, it makes little sense and yes, it’s a lot to learn if your muse ends up working for/with Sonia in the Royal Family or your muse plans to marry her).

Everything is under the cut, as it’s pretty long!

His Royal Highness, the Duke of Neuchatel - Also known as Arthur, Duke of Neuchatel or informally as Arthur Nevermind (his last name, like his brother King Alexandre and his niece Princess Sonia, comes from their Royal House), he is King Alexandre’s only sibling. Born two years after his brother, Arthur proved himself to be charming and charismatic at a young age. Where Alexandre was thoughtful, introspective, and considerate, Arthur was bold and captivating. He loves a healthy competition no matter where it’s found, but he still grumbles that his brother still bests him in chess. His hobbies included shooting, skiing, and, to his mother’s dismay, gambling.

Despite being ‘the spare,’ Arthur relishes in being in charge, delivering orders and having his plans executed perfectly. It made him an ideal football captain in school as well as a member of the In Utero Student Council during his final two years of high school (he chose which events he wished to engage with. They were few and far-between). He consistently received the fastest training times throughout his military training, from obstacle courses to rope climbs to assembling firearms to driving tanks. His eagerness to guide others to victory made him an asset in the Novoselic Royal Army, where he completed his obligatory two years. He married Lady Olivia, daughter of the Duke of Vaud, two years after the Royal Wedding of-then Prince Alexandre, heir to the throne, and Lady Valentina, daughter of the Duke of Ticino.

Now, he is a full-time working royal for the Novoselic Royal Family with charitable interests in war veterans and science/technology. He’s an avid fan of the national football team, luxury fashion, wine, and his collection of rare watches and sportscars. He attends every Monaco Grand Prix and keeps a yacht on the French Riviera (which, on occasion, he’ll invite his wife along. This is not a frequent occurrence).

Before Sonia comes of age and graduates university, he is the one fulfilling many of King Alexandre’s international obligations, so he is often away from home. He prefers to travel in style (or rather, he prefers to have his entire life to be lived ‘in style.’).

Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Neuchatel - Also known as Olivia, Duchess of Neuchatel or informally as Olivia Nevermind, is the wife of the Duke of Neuchatel and Sonia’s aunt. A bit shorter and fuller in the bust than her sister-in-law Queen Valentina, Olivia could be best described as ‘meek and mousy.’ While the King and Duke have golden hair and blue eyes, and the Queen with her platinum hair and green eyes, Olivia still retains the expected (if not requisite) blonde hair of the Royal Family, though hers is a mix of dirty and ash blonde. She has round brown eyes that can make her look permanently surprised if she’s not in control of her emotions.

Olivia is a gentle, soft-spoken woman whom, since birth, has been raised to take her place in Novoselic’s aristocracy. As a child, she loved embroidery, piano, and ballet, but was forced to give up the sport after her teachers insisted she was ‘too chubby’ to continue. From then on, she took up tennis and gardening as hobbies, with the latter carrying on well into her adult life. After marrying Prince Arthur and becoming the Duchess of Neuchatel, Olivia’s interests are, first and foremost, their two children and raising them to be the future Duke of Neuchatel and members of the Novoselic aristocracy.

She spends far more time at home than her husband, though she participates in every official engagement and function the Royal Family asks of her. She is a popular choice to be featured in documentaries and interviews, such as recorded tours around various Royal estates. Her philanthropic efforts are focused mainly around agriculture, animal conservation, horticulture, and children’s charities, and when she becomes of age, Princess Sonia and her aunt often share the duties for animal conservatory and children’s charity efforts.

While she does eat meat, she eats very little of it and tends to choose more fish and plant-based meals. She supports organic farming and hydroponics, and is the host of the annual Novosonian flower show. When she is able to go and invited, she loves to attend Wimbledon.

His Royal Highness, Prince Liam of Neuchatel - Also known as Liam, Prince of Neuchatel or Liam Nevermind, he is Sonia’s eldest cousin on her father’s side and four years younger than she is. A bit taller than his cousin and far more muscular (if not stocky), Liam is brash, loud, and generally unafraid to speak his mind in most matters. If there’s quips being slung in the Royal Family, he’s one of three possible suspects (the others are Queen Valentina and Prince Arthur).

Liam likes to be active and to have a good time, or a good laugh. During Princess Sonia’s first year attending the annual Masquerade Ball, he and some school friends from In Utero Primary School let loose a flock of makango into the ballroom, causing a great uproar when the animals took a dip in the champagne and chocolate fountains and scurried up skirts and trouser legs. Since then, Queen Valentina tends to frown whenever he’s discussed.

He’s not the biggest fan of school, though he has some talent for mathematics and statistics. Languages, literature, and history tend to put him to sleep. What he does like is physical fitness and sports, and won’t hesitate to try most athletics (ballroom dancing, and most types of dancing, are exempt. He hates these). He is primarily a polo and rugby player, but he enjoys football as well and likes to watch boxing and racing. Like his father, he enjoys being part of a sports team, though not necessarily leading it.

Upon graduation, he elects to attend university (or rather, his father tells him he’ll be going) and fulfill his obligatory military service during the school holidays (mostly so he doesn’t become mixed up in his usual partying crowd). While he wanted to be properly deployed, most of his military responsibilities involve defense, particularly at the Novoselic border. He’s frustrated by this and finds it difficult to focus, so during his holidays he’s often found in Spain or Greece, wherever the it-crowd has designated the coolest spot to see and be seen. And like his father, he quite likes luxury goods, expensive liquor, and sports cars. He’s also known to be quite handsome, with his mother’s ash blonde hair and his father’s blue eyes (otherwise known as the ‘Nevermind Blue.’ Sonia’s father, uncle, and Sonia herself all have them, as well as Liam).

Generally, if anyone’s going to appear in the tabloids, it’s usually Liam, and the Royal Family’s PR team has quite a job making sure anything incriminating never sees the light of day (or the light of a screen). His parents wish he’d settle down and actually have a real, meaningful relationship (that looks good in the eyes of the press and the people), but there’s no one special in his life. His charitable interests involve fitness and sports organizations, and he’s present at as many matches as he can. He loves when he’s sent to the Olympic Games to represent his country in the audience and in interviews.

His Royal Highness, Prince Samuel of Neuchatel - Also known as Samuel, Prince of Neuchatel or Samuel Nevermind, is the brother of Liam and Sonia’s cousin. He is two years younger than his brother and six years younger than Sonia. Where Liam is muscular, Samuel is not: however, he’s a good four inches taller than his brother, with long, golden hair (which he usually keeps tied back) and brown eyes (his mother’s). Samuel was one of the earliest targets of Liam’s jokes and jabs, and therefore he’s a bit quieter and considerate when it comes to his comments. Thoughtful and polite, he’s the ‘spare’ of the family and his parents worried he would grow up with a very thin skin. He didn’t take to athletics or military training nearly as easily as his brother Liam (though he took to video games: they bond over Mario Kart and Smash. It was a harrowing moment in Liam’s life the first time Samuel beat him at both).

Samuel is also an excellent student: history and art are his favorite subjects, though he gets exemplary grades in everything at In Utero. His hobbies and passions include visual art (he likes to sketch and paint) and playing the violin, and during the summer months he enjoys fishing. He’s very well-read and enjoys attending theatrical and musical productions as part of the Royal Family. Several of his drawings have been framed by his mother or King Alexandre and displayed in various Royal homes. He’d love to have something hung (besides a portrait of himself) in the National Gallery one day.

Upon graduation, he both chooses to attend University (seriously, he couldn’t get there fast enough) and to serve in the armed forces by joining the Novoselic Royal Air Force. Thus, he learned to both drive a tank and fly a plane before he could drive a car. Samuel loves flying for both work and fun, deeming the air to be the only place his family can’t chide or tease him. After his obligatory service, the Royal Family keeps a small, private plane for his singular use.

As he will not inherit the Dukedom (that will go to Liam), Samuel is both career-minded and a full-time working Royal. His charity work and proposed policies revolve around the arts, from new museums to theaters and productions to educational and grant opportunities. He is always working to add more cultural exhibits to every city and town in Novoselic.

It is often said by the press and public alike that Samuel acts more like they’d expect from the future Duke than Liam, a comment that never fails to upset the entire family.

#more-than-a-princess headcanons #(I have so. many. drafts. to write right now)#(But before I got to a few of them I thought this was necessary)#(Their historical AUs are altered depending on available technology of course)

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adamwatchesmovies · 3 years

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Tarzan & Jane (2002)

Tarzan & Jane is a clumsy, badly animated, unimaginative, cheap, embarrassing sequel to the 1999 Disney film. It may say “An All-New Movie!” but this is clearly 3 episodes of a TV show stitched together and bookended by a wraparound story in an attempt to recuperate some of the funds spent creating them.

The Wraparound story Tarzan and Jane have been married and living together in the jungle for a year now. Jane (now voiced by Olivia d'Abo) is wondering how to celebrate with her husband. Each of her ideas prompt Tantor (Jim Cummings), her father (Jeff Bennet) or Terk (April Winchell) to remind her of a past adventure.

Tarzan and the British Invasion When three of Jane’s friends come to visit, she tries to prove to them that her new home can be fun. Tarzan worries his wife is embarrassed by him while two hungry panthers start planning a jungle feast.

Out of the dusty library of obligatory plots comes this story. Bad jokes. Predictable plot. The animation varies in terms of quality. If there's a highlight, it's a scene in which Jane and her friends take refuge inside a log. It changes shape and size more than Megatron did in the original Transformers cartoon. By being completely forgettable, its the worst of the stories we get. In other ways, it’s the best - it's not awful enough to haunt you after it's done.

Tarzan and the Volcanic Diamond Mine When two diamond hunters ask Tarzan to guide them to a nearby volcano, he accepts. While there, he will get Jane a diamond as a gift. Unfortunately for him, the evil diamond hunters are evil.

This story is a lot more fun to discuss because it’s absolutely ludicrous. So these two guys come to Africa looking for diamonds. I’ll believe it. When Tarzan offers to lead them to the volcano that is literally filled with thousands of diamonds, they immediately think of how they are going to stab him in the back once he is facing the other way... even though he saves them both from a river full of crocodiles. These must be the greediest, most short-sighted treasure hunters ever. The King of the Apes lives in the jungle and owns nothing. They really can’t leave even a single diamond behind? Even if you absolutely had to backstab him, at least do it when you’re within sight of the camp where you can make your escape; not in the middle of nowhere where you're still surrounded by hungry beasts and run the risk of getting lost forever. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Without giving too much away, let’s just say that there's some surfing going on in this story, and it is not on water or tree branches.

Tarzan and the Flying Ace An old friend of Jane’s comes to the jungle to say hello. Robert Canler (Jeff Bennett), a pilot for the British Air Force, makes Tarzan jealous. But is he simply frightened that his wife will cheat on him with a refined gentleman, or is there something genuinely sinister about the pilot?

This story plays like a bad rom-com. No one communicates and wild assumptions are made for the sake of the plot. The story is contrived and once again, the villains in this would-be series have little foresight. They always forget that by meeting up with Tarzan and Jane, it means that they are in AFRICA. Even by plane, it would take ages to go there and return. The best part of this story is a scene where a downed pilot fires “warning shots” at some hungry panthers. Who fires warning shots at carnivorous wild cats? It makes no sense. If the guy really wanted to live, he would have killed at least one of those predators.

Overall, Tarzan & Jane is horrible. The animation is bad. Even for television, the characters change quite a bit from episode to episode. Their movements and actions look odd. You can tell none of the film's talents had anything to do with these stories. The voice acting is painfully bad and the writing awful. All three tales feel like they were taken from the bin of “ideas for when you have no ideas for your children’s TV show”. Plots make no sense, characters' actions make no sense. I doubt anyone even googled the words "diamond", "volcano", "Africa" or even “Tarzan” before production started. I got through it because I was able to calculate that there were probably only going to be three stories and that every twenty minutes it was going to change drastically. Breaking down the pain into chunks makes it bearable - though the one bad song feature doesn't make it easy. I haven’t seen many of the Direct-to-Video Disney sequels, but I'm certain they can't get much worse. I can’t recommend this film but I didn’t absolutely hate it. This is merely a titanic disappointment instead of a disgusting cash grab. (On VHS, May 23, 2015)

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piaclerc · 5 years

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CNCO meets Queer Eye:

Erick Brian Colon Part One

So this took me forever cause I was sick and behind on school work. Also I got stuck with Tan. BUT ITS DONE! Dedicated to @dan-thehoe and @oh-angel-eyes for fueling my Erick content❤️

JVN

Jonathon would walk in and be like

“OH MY GOD HES A BABY! WE GET TO MAKE OVER A BABY!”

Erick would try to be slick about and be like “Nah I’m a man I’m 18”

And Jonathon would have nONE OF IT

We already know Erick knows how to use the hair gel

His glorious long hair from La Banda forward was perfectly styled

I feel like he wouldn’t know about sodium laureate sulphate either

But like when Jonathon tells him this

“Okey...”

Jonathon has a heart attack

TRIP TO THE HAIR SALON

Would get him an awesome fade

Leave it longish on the top

But like not to the point where it’s like a Mohawk waiting to happen

Kinda like the length Chris has but without the fringe

Would definitely jokingly teach him how to shave

And Erick would be all embarrassed

Jonathon WILL cradle him like a baby

Erick 100% would put glitter in the hairdryer

Jonathon would be like WE HAVE GOT TO DO A FASHION SHOW

GLITTER EVERYWHERE

Even though Erick isn’t fluent in English, Jonathon is extremely patient and the most supportive

None of the Fab Five would laugh or make fun of him for trying to say something or getting stuck

Jonathon would be the first to give him a hug each time he gets something difficult right

Turns into an obligatory hug every time

Erick won’t say it but he secretly loves all of the hugs

BOBBY

I feel like Erick would want a very non flashy room design

Basic colors on the walls, bed, bookshelf, closet

Corner for his guitar and practicing/recording himself

Gaming corner cause boy is a big gamer

Gets two bean bag chairs

Bobby sees all of this and raises it to the next level

The walls are painted white but with blue undertones

Erick definitely goes to help pick out the different pieces to go in his room

Touches literally everything

Buys five different colored bean bag chairs

His bed has a drawer under it that’s ANOTHER BED

You bet one of the boys is permanently taking shifts in that.

His book shelf looks like a grid so he has space for his little knick knacks

Little presents he gets from tours or pictures take this space

His music and family photos also go on that

He gets a computer with those rainbow light up keyboards

Bobby has to drag him away from the store so he’d stop buying stuff

Bobby would teach Erick how to rearrange stuff so that the room gets a different feel

Remember that tic tac toe bookshelf?

The parts come off and can be rearranged and now it’s a side table

Bed can go in the corner or in the middle of the room to change the focus

Erick is there taking notes and already planning his own design to implement.

His mom is in the back like YOU BETTER KEEP THIS ROOM CLEAN

Erick listened cause we know the mommas got the real power

Karamo

We know little baby Erick is learning to speak English

Karamo would do his best to help Erick be able to reach this goal

Karamo learns different linguistic techniques

Works with Erick to put together a schedule that Erick can follow despite the tour schedule.

Would only be like 10 minutes cause we know their management is being trash about giving them a break rn.

Would definitely give him some relaxation techniques where he just tries to read or watch TV shows in English or with English subtitles

Erick would definitely rewatch some of the telenovelas on Netflix with English subtitles

And Elité in English

I feel like Karamo knows that Erick is disciplined.

Like this boy really woke up early/stayed up late to put soap in the toothpaste in Chris and Richard’s bathroom

And caught it on video

That takes some skill and patience

So Karamo would get Erick to do crosswords/word searches/sudoku

This way Erick can relax when he’s on planes or when he’s waiting

Doesn’t do anything too big cause Erick is still a baby

Finds Erick’s old video of him doing pick up lines and melted.

Showed everyone else secretly and they give extra strong hugs now

#cnco #erick brian colon #cnco fanfic #i know its not that great but erick was harder for me to read #but i did it and im proud

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scifigeneration · 5 years

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Remember Blockbuster, Nirvana and pagers? The new Captain Marvel lives in the 1990s

by Michael Milford and Peter Stratton

Captain Marvel has fun taking us back to the 1990s. Marvel Studios

Captain Marvel flies into movie theatres from today, and apart from introducing a great new hero who combines the righteousness of Captain America and the humour of Thor: Ragnarok, it’s also a cultural reference bonanza for anyone who grew up as a child of the 1990s.

There are the obligatory references to the now-declining Blockbuster video store, a fantastic music soundtrack (Nirvana, Hole, TLC to name a few), and tech jokes galore.

We see the origin story of her character Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel, meet the Shield agents in the early days, and get set up with an interstellar conflict with some satisfying subversion of your typical expectations.

Blockbuster takes a beating, and perhaps a premonition of its future prospects. Marvel Studios.

So let’s go back to the ‘90s (like the movie’s website does) to some long-forgotten tech as well as some that has aged surprisingly well, and see how it all checks out, both scientifically and historically.

youtube

Don’t mess with this pilot.

Projecting holograms through a landline phone

Upon landing on Earth, Danvers raids a Radioshack shop and with a few deft modifications manages to set up a hologram communicator from a conventional wired phone.

The projection side of this feat would take some pretty impressive tweaking of 1990s technology (she appears to set everything up in a few minutes), but the bandwidth side of things can be analysed – that’s the amount of data needed for a hologram communication.

The bandwidth required for holograms varies widely, but figures of about 10Gbps are mentioned in the literature. There are also proposals to use 5G’s up to 10Gbps bandwidth to do holographic projections.

So if Danvers’ modifications have upped the bandwidth to modern day 5G standards, it’s feasible she could receive sufficient data to get a hologram up and running.

Verdict: A plausible projection.

Digital reading speed

There are lots of nostalgic tech moments in the movie – an internet connection dropping out, and the whole crew waiting around for a computer to read data from a CD.

Although done for humorous reasons, this depiction is entirely accurate, as anyone who lived through the 1990s can attest.

CD read speeds varied from hundreds of kilobytes (kB) per second to 6 megabytes (MB) per second. Even with the fastest disc drives of the time, it could take many seconds to read even a moderate-sized file, and minutes to read an entire CD’s worth of data (about 700MB).

Compare that to today - we have USB drives with capacities up to 1 terabyte, and read speeds of more than 400 megabytes per second.

Verdict: Painfully on point.

Fighters – not much has changed

In one of the secret hangar bases in the movie we get a shot of what looks remarkably like a Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor fighter aircraft.

We get a sneak peak at an F-22 Raptor. Marvel Studios.

With the movie set in 1995, it’s somewhat plausible there could be a prototype F-22 at a secret base – the plane flew for the first time in 1997. Danvers is meanwhile seen to be flying F-16s at a normal aircraft base.

What’s also interesting is while on-board electronics and related technology have changed significantly, the core airframe tech has not advanced much over the past nearly quarter of a century – the F-22 is still considered to be one of the best aircraft around today.

Verdict: Fighter is fair.

Lifting fingerprints off sticky tape

To escape a fingerprint-tagged room, Nick Fury grabs a piece of plastic tape and runs it over where a staff member grabbed his ID card. He uses the fingerprint on the tape on the reader to unlock the door.

Lifting fingerprints. microgen/123rf.com

Grabbing fingerprints off a surface with tape can be done if the surface is prepared through a process called dusting. Dusting uses a fine powder to stick to the oily residue left by a fingerprint, which is then transferred to a piece of tape.

But Fury doesn’t appear to do any surface preparation, lifting the print directly off the ID card, which is pushing plausibility.

Verdict: Fury’s fingerprinting fail.

What do we know about non-carbon-based life?

All life on Earth is based on the element carbon. This is why when you burn either wood or meat, all you are left with is charcoal, which is mostly just pure carbon.

But when one of the alien Skrulls dies and the body examined, the doctor says it is definitely not carbon-based.

This is theoretically possible. We’ve known for a long time that life on other planets could also be based on other elements that are similar to carbon, for example silicon.

Even though carbon and silicon might look very different, chemically they are very similar regarding the kinds of chemical reactions that are needed to support life. This is because they are in the same column in the periodic table of elements.

But then the doctor says something strange, whatever the alien is made of, it’s not from the periodic table.

This is highly unlikely. All known matter in the universe exists on the periodic table, and the alien doesn’t seem to be made of any strange unknown substance like dark matter, just rubbery green flesh.

Verdict: Off the planet.

Paging the ‘90s

Nick Fury’s pager features quite prominently in this movie. Paging technology was all the rage back in the late 1980s and '90s.

With today’s mobile and smart phones, texting (SMS and MMS), a huge range of messaging apps and always-on connectivity everywhere, you might think pagers would have gone the way of dial-up internet. But that’s not quite so.

Pagers have a much longer range than phones, are harder to hack, don’t store conversation histories (important for privacy and security), and are more reliable during natural disasters.

They are still used by many emergency services and medical personnel who need to be contactable in extreme emergencies even when all other power and communications might be down.

Verdict: Retro tech still comes to the rescue.

The verdict

She gets knocked down … and she gets up again. Marvel Studios.

The movie is a fun chance to be reminded of all the technology and culture of a quarter-century ago, and to think how much (and how little) has changed.

Read more: Virtual reality adds to tourism through touch, smell and real people's experiences

The movie’s depiction of the 1990s is generally pretty spot-on – a fun way for a younger audience to be introduced to what life was like before smartphones and ubiquitous high-speed internet. The pain of removable media, unreliable and slow internet connections, and having to go to the store to get a movie is all captured humorously on film.

Marvel Studios

About The Authors:

Michael Milford is a Professor at the Queensland University of Technology and Peter Stratton is a Postdoctoral Research Fellow at The University of Queensland

This article is republished from our content partners at The Conversation under a Creative Commons license.

#movies #science in film #science #technology #Marvel #Captain Marvel #Marvel Cinematic Universe #science fiction and fantasy #movie review

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ttakemethere · 6 years

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100 day update.

I never planned to go to Australia. Of course, at some point I decided that I would come to live here and had to start working towards it. But to be honest, I can’t remember a distinct moment when I thought to myself “Yeah, I definitely want to go to Australia”. I grew up obsessed with Steve Irwin, who fostered my love for animals, and all things that seemed to push the border of normal. Maybe it was something that had been manifesting in me since childhood. Whatever the reason was, I left home knowing next to nothing about the country I was headed to. I knew the names and locations of a few capital cities, and that it was home to some of the world’s most deadly animals, but that was it. Suddenly one day I found myself at the airport saying goodbye to my parents with my backpack, and that was it. I was on a plane, and I had no idea where I was going or what I was getting myself into. I was absolutely terrified, but I couldn’t wait.

Maui was incredible. It was a dream holiday, and exactly what I needed after 70 hour/ 6 day work weeks. Yoga in the mornings, beach hopping, sunbathing, day drinking, jungle trekking, waterfall climbing, snorkeling with sea turtles, and partying the night away with new friends from around the world; it was the perfect “welcome back” to the backpacker hostel lifestyle I had missed. Breathtaking landscapes, friendly hostel mates, delicious food, long days, late nights, and the slow-paced island lifestyle was the cocktail I needed to kick off my working holiday. It was one of those destinations that make you want to freeze time and stay forever. Eventually though I woke me up from my island dream after managing to lose my wallet (the day before moving overseas!? No worries!).I spent most of my last day on Maui on the phone waiting on hold with my bank, eventually my roommate managed to coerce me into an afternoon beach hopping break to relieve me from the stress. I laid on the shore of Makena beach while I reminded myself of Bob Marley (and my Dad’s) words “Every little thing is gonna be alright…”

Sleeping in airport terminals isn’t the most glamorous part of traveling, nor is it my favorite, but it’s something that I’m no longer a stranger to. I had an overnight layover in Honolulu, where the airport welcomes stranded travelers with a designated area to sleep in. While the benches didn’t make the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on, I was able to catch a few hours of good rest. In the morning I woke to a beautiful sunrise bidding me a final goodbye from the states, and after the longest walk of my entire life to the other side of the world in the terminal, and a goodbye call to home I boarded my plane. A window seat in econcomy on a budget airline promised me that a year of adventure laid just a sore neck and a close of my eyes ahead.

The day I arrived in Sydney I felt pretty overwhelmed. I had just moved to the other side of the world, and since I’d lost my wallet, I only had the bit of cash I had brought with me. I was feeling pretty grateful for an exchange rate that worked in my favor, a hostel kitchen with 8 (eight!!!!) stoves, and a clean bed to relax in after the journey over. My first priority was to get my money sorted; it didn’t take long for the Sydney sticker shock to set in and I knew I needed to work it out. I was up with the sun my first morning to head to the bank where I learned two things: 1. It gets cold in Sydney (who knew that Australia actually has a winter too?!) 2: It would be over a week before I could get access to my money Deep breaths, everything is going be alright. Stressing out about it wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I’ve got this; I’ve done the whole hungry budget backpacker thing before. No worries.

In the midst of work/life chaos before leaving home, I had decided to book my first week in Sydney with a tour company. This was my first time doing organized travel and although it lacked a little freedom, I was glad that I had decided on it. They had set up my accommodation for the week and a few meals, so I didn’t have to worry about spending too much until I could get my card. I was grouped with some lovely and hilarious English and Canadians who were also starting out on their working holiday visas. It was comforting to be around people who were in the same boat as me, but it also was a bit strange to be at the mercy of whatever was planned for us. 6 days and 5 nights in Sydney and Port Stephens: complete of course with the obligatory city walking tour and pub crawls. It was an interesting change of pace from the travel that I’m used to. No planning on my part, just “Show up here at this time and we’ll take care of everything for you”. A harbor cruise and boat barbecue, an evening exploring the dazzling VIVID Sydney displays, yoga with kangaroos at an eco-hostel, a hike through Tomaree National Park, boarding through sand dunes, restaurants with food that looks like it came straight out of one of those trendy facebook videos, drinking games, nights out dancing, and a sales pitch just every now and then to gently remind you that your tour leader was getting paid to hang out with you. While it was fun to have my days filled with things that I probably wouldn’t have done on my own, I was desperate for a little independence which I was able to find at a couchsurfing meet-up.

I fell in love with couchsurfing while I was in Ireland a year ago. I was in Dublin, my first big city on my solo Europe trip and I joined a meet up for a hike on the coast of Howth, a fishing village an hour bus ride outside of the city. After our walk through the cold wind and rain, we took refuge at a jazz and blues festival pub crawl. Hours went by chatting to each other and listening to music before heading back into the city together. I had never met so many people from so many different places, and being new to traveling it blew my mind to feel so welcomed by everyone; I knew that I would definitely be doing it again. Shortly after I had gotten home from Europe I started attending meet up every week in Phoenix. I haven’t surfed yet, but I definitely plan to soon. When I got to the bar in Sydney, I was greeted by friendly faces, and after watching fireworks over Darling Harbor, I was invited to head to someone’s flat for pre-drinks followed by a Friday night out. I didn’t need much convincing, but the promise of free drinks and new friends made any hesitations I might have had disappear.

After a week in Sydney, I was ready to move on. My bank was going to forward my card to me, so all that was left to do was set up my phone plan, book my flight, and then I was ready to head out on the next chapter of my journey. After a bus ride, a flight, another flight, a bus, a few hours of sleep, and another bus, I arrived at my new home away from home. The Northern Territory: home of crocodiles, and barra fishing; where winter is a sunny 40 degrees Celsius, and men brag about the size of their fish. I would be spending the next 88 days working remotely in Kakadu National Park. Remote work is required by Australian Immigration to extend your Working Holiday visa from 1 year to 2 years. Where and what you can do depends on which visa you are on. But for me, this meant administration work at a hotel.

My bus left from Darwin at 6:30 in the morning, and after a 3.5 hour ride through the middle of nowhere, the bus pulled over and it was my turn to get out. It felt like a scene from a movie, getting off the bus with my backpack, walking through the doors of this little green hotel in the desert. Things moved pretty quickly as soon as I arrived and I started work the next day. It took a few days to get situated, but everyone I worked with were backpackers, so it didn’t feel too unfamiliar. What did take some getting used to was the isolation.

Kakadu National Park is more than half the size of Switzerland, and with a population totaling just 1130 people, it’s easy to feel small in such a big space. The hotel is a half hour drive from Jabiru, the only town in the park, which boasts a shopping center featuring a small grocery market, library, bank, police station, hairdresser, and an Olympic sized swimming pool (to which I regularly wonder how on earth they managed that). It’s pretty much impossible to get anywhere around the park if you don’t have a car without hitchhiking, however I managed to make it away from the hotel quite a few times in my first month. My first trip was to Yellow Water Billabong. We spent the afternoon on a river cruise learning about some the Aborignal history in the park and the unique wildlife, bird watching, looking for buffaloes, and of course, spotting crocs. A few days later we were off to Ubirr, the largest rock art site in Australia. On our way, we stopped at Cahills Crossing, the border to Arnhem land, where the aboriginal community live. At high tide when the river flows over the crossing, you can be eaten alive by mosquitoes while watch crocodiles at the edge of the water, waiting for fish to be pushed into their mouths. After finishing the climb to the top of Ubirr, you are welcomed by a 360 degree view of the park. Being there felt like I had been taken back to the Jurassic age. Looking out across the wetlands, I half expected to see a dinosaur, or lions and elephants walk across the plains. During this time of year, Wurrgeng season, the locals burn the land to prevent bush fires and help restore nutrients to the soil. The smoke from the controlled burns turns the sky beautiful colors, and the sun a deep glowing red. It’s a picture that each time I’ve visited reminds me of the opening scene from The Lion King.

Remote living is a unique experience. You work, sleep, eat, live, and play all in the same place with the same people. Imagine laying out in your backyard at the pool with a book on your afternoon off, then your manager walks through your back gate to let you know that the schedule has changed and now you need to be back in the office to close in half an hour. It’s your day off and you’re having a late breakfast in your kitchen in your pajamas, and in they come to tell you all of the things they would like you to do tomorrow. Work-life balance does not exist, they are one and the same. This made the work become frustrating quickly, and management challenging to deal with to say the least. As staff you quickly learn to rely on each other: celebrating small victories together, acting as an outlet for frustration, and taking a little extra time and effort to do things as a group. I found the answers to “what will I do tonight?” were different than they had ever been. Taking dinner out to the grass for a picnic instead of eating in the kitchen, grabbing a beer and going for a walk to the billabong at the back of the hotel, being workout buddies at the gym, drinking until late (which now meant 10pm) doing puzzles, playing and billiards in the rec room, or playing cards sprawled across the floor of your hotel room.

Of course my favorite days were my days off. While there were certainly hardships to living in the middle of nowhere without my own mode of transportation, it was the first chance I’d had in a long time to learn how to live life slowly. I no longer had to wake up early on my day off to make it to Bikram Yoga, or run to the grocery store and spend hours cooking in the kitchen (although I do miss those things dearly now). I could be lazy ,and not feel bad about it! I could sleep until my body decided it was time to get up, head to the gym when I felt like it, float in the pool for hours, listen to a podcast during a walk through the forest, read a book in my hammock, practice yoga at the gym, and still have hours left in the day to burn (my hula hoop, of course). And on the days when I felt like I had cabin fever coming on, I had the entirety of the park at my doorstep. A spur of the moment decision and catching the boss in a good mood meant you could ask for the keys to the company car. Maybe having an early afternoon off meant going for a drive to the Mamukala Billabong for some birdwatching, over to Burrunkguy to admire more rock art, and then to Nawurlandja to watch the sunset. On one of my lucky days I had the day off with someone with a car and we took the 3 hour drive through the park to Gunlom Falls. A 25 minute hike up a steep cliff led us to breathtaking views at the top of the waterfall (and with crocodiles being one of the most populous residents of Kakadu) meant one of the rare chances to swim in the infinity pools. One day after catching a late bus and being temporarily stranded, I even worked up the courage to try hitchhiking. It was a rough go at first, but after half a bottle of sunscreen I got picked up by a fisherman that took me to the South Alligator river. We cast a line out together and watched crocodiles swim by before taking me back to the hotel.

As backpackers, this was only our temporary home, and we all had another adventure planned when our 88 days came to an end. The nights before we said good bye were always my favorite: both fun and bittersweet. The bonds that formed over such close quarters always hurt a bit to sever, but it was impossible not to be excited for them to continue on their own journey.

One of the biggest things I have learned from traveling is to let go of my expectations. I didn’t really know what it would be like or what would happen living here, but I can say easily that most of this had never crossed my mind. The past 100 days have been a roller coaster ride of emotions and adventure, and as I enter my last week at Aurora Kakadu, I can’t contain my excitement for the future. I’m so grateful to all the people I have met along the way. What an incredible opportunity, to live in such a uniquely beautiful place (I mean come on, how many people can say that they’ve lived in a National Park that’s a dual listed UNESCO World Heritage site?!). It’s offered a unique glimpse into Aboriginal culture, and it has been a once in a lifetime experience that I will never forget. I’m looking forward to getting back on that bus in a few days and taking all the lessons that I’ve learned with me on my way. In 8 days I will be on a plane on my way to Queensland (home to the zoo of my childhood hero) to explore The Daintree Rainforest, and The Great Barrier Reef.

100 days down since leaving home, 269 days left in Australia, and then…. We’ll see.

#christina down under #australia #working holiday visa #kakadu #kakadunationalpark

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