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friskynotebook · 9 months

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Tears You Up But Sets You Free

CW: grief, death of a loved one

Summary: Padme believes she's in unrequited love with Obi-Wan—until one morning when she finds him sleeping in a closet

did I really spend all day writing almost 3,000 words of a Padme lives post ROTS Obidala angsty love confession and posted it unbeta'd? yes

The title is from the song Memphis Lives in Me from the musical Memphis ✨ You can listen to it here

Also on AO3!

Padme rolled over, blinking the sleep from her eyes as the Dantooine morning sun filtered through her bedroom window. She reached over to the other side of the bed and patted the cool sheets, hoping that this morning would be different than the others.

It never was.

She sighed. Ever since she and Obi-Wan had escaped to a tiny village on Dantooine with the twins nearly three years ago, they had grown closer. Living on a remote planet required them to rely on each other, both physically and emotionally. The friendship long-ago established on Naboo deepend further in the past three years than it had in the previous thirteen. They may have been legally married on Dantooine to maintain their cover, but for Padme, Obi-Wan Kenobi had become something deeper—her very best friend.

And perhaps something more . . .

On her end, there had always been something simmering beneath the surface when it came to her relationship with Obi-Wan, but he was so dedicated to the Order and so much of a Jedi, it never seemed like a real possibility. So he remained a dear friend and ally, nothing more. And when things presented themselves with Anakin . . .

But that was then. Now, however, as the years had passed, she found herself growing more and more fond of Obi-Wan every day. Of course she knew he was a handsome man—Padme had fully functioning eyes, after all. But she never really saw how gorgeous he was until she had to spend endless amounts of time with just him and her children.

The children. Watching him interact with Luke and Leia—that was probably when she started to fall in love. Even when her heart was shattered in a million pieces mere weeks after their arrival, the pain lessened just a little when she saw Obi-Wan gently soothing little Leia’s cries so Padme could get a little more rest.

As the twins got older, Obi-Wan threw himself into fatherhood the same way Padme had thrown herself into motherhood. It surprised her—not his capability to love her children, because she’d seen first hand how much he’d loved Anakin and the rest of the Order, for that matter. But for someone who’d never had a traditional family structure of his own, he’d been committed to caring for the children and her as if it had ben ingrained in his very soul. Even though they had meager credits to their name, she and Obi-Wan were committed to giving Luke and Leia as normal a life as possible—from birthday parties to day trips to the mountains to sleepovers with friends, where the twins were right now.

Padme sighed. They didn’t often get long stretches of time alone together, and she wanted nothing more than to simply be with him and show him just how much he meant to her. But instead, he continued being his annoyingly perfect self and made her dinner, sat with her in the living room as he read a new arrival from the town library, and settled into the bed they shared with barely a kiss on the cheek.

And now she was waking up alone. Again

Padme shook her head. She wasn’t going down this path again. Obi-Wan had so many of his own burdens to deal with and the last thing he needed was to deal with her . . . feelings. They were best friends, nothing more.

Best friends who shared a bed.

Purely for our cover, Obi-Wan had reassured her. We can’t have the children telling their friends their married parents sleep in separate bedrooms. It would draw too much attention.

Selfishly, she had agreed. If only for a little more time spent in Obi-Wan’s warmth.

She rolled out of bed and slipped into a robe. She wasn’t used to early morning quiet with two five year olds running around—she was nearly startled by the sounds of her own footsteps as she padded to the kitchen to brew some caf.

As she went through the motions of preparing the hot drink—two creams, two sugars for her, one sugar for Obi-Wan—Padme glanced at the door to a small storage room beside the twins’ bedroom. Obi-Wan converted it from a closet when they had first arrived, needing a hidden space to store the few remaining relics of his Jedi life as well as a quiet place to meditate away from the others. Every morning, he’d rise before the sun and meditate for an hour or two before the rest of the family got up. This morning didn’t seem any different, even without the children, so she settled at their small kitchen table and sipped at her caf, waiting for Obi-Wan to finish.

But as the minutes ticked by, he didn’t emerge.

After half a standard hour, Padme grabbed Obi-Wan’s rapidly cooling mug and approached the closed door. She knocked softly.

“Obi-Wan? Is everything alright?”

Silence.

Padme tried to quell her rising nerves and knocked again.

“Obi-Wan?”

Silence.

Padme swallowed. “I’m coming in.”

She opened the door—only for it to stop halfway through. “What—?”

The door was caught on what appeared to be a bundle of robes and—was that Obi-Wan’s foot?

Padme frowned and pushed the door all the way open as gently as she could, kneeling down beside the long lump of robes and brushing a lock of hair back from her husband’s forehead.

Obi-Wan was snoring softly under the robe-blanket he had carefully tucked around him, his head resting on a robe-pillow. Padme’s lips quirked. He must have fallen asleep while meditating this morning.

But . . . That didn’t explain the state of the storage room. His makeshift bed looked lived-in, more so than his actual bed. A small chest beside his robe-pillow acted as a nightstand, with his latest holo book and the glasses he swore he didn’t need resting on top.

Why is he sleeping here?

It couldn’t have been comfortable. Obi-Wan wasn’t a particularly large man, but this storage room was tiny. Padme was sitting half outside the room as it was. It can’t be good for him being cramped in this space all night long—how many nights does he do this?

Padme thought back to their past three years in Dantooine—she couldn’t remember a single morning when her husband woke up beside her. Surely he must have in all their years but her mind kept coming up short. She brushed her fingers delicately along his bearded jaw, then gasped as she saw, seemingly for the first time, how dark the circles under his eyes were, and how deep his crows feet went. How had she never noticed this?

Before her thoughts could derail any further, Padme heard Obi-Wan whimper, his brow furrowed even in sleep. “No . . . no, please . . .”

Padme set the caf down on the chest and leaned forward, gently shaking her husband’s shoulder. “Obi-Wan, wake up.”

His breathing became more erratic and he started whimpering. The fear Padme had been pushing down started creeping up her throat.

She brushed her hand through his hair. “Obi-Wan, please. You’re safe, you need to wake up.”

Suddenly, Obi-Wan’s eyes shot open and he sat up, panting heavily.

“Shhh,” Padme soothed, stroking his hair. “It was just a dream, Obi-Wan. You’re safe.”

He blinked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. “P-Padme? What are you doing here?”

She swallowed. “You didn’t come out for your caf. I got worried.”

“Oh.” Obi-Wan ran a hand through his damp hair. “I”m sorry for worrying you, dear one.”

Padme pushed down the flutter in her chest at the pet name. “What’s going on?”

“Hmm?” He looked up, his blue eyes looking more dull than she’d ever seen them.

“Why are you sleeping in here?”

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. “Oh, I must have fallen asleep while meditating again—”

Padme raised a brow. “So you made yourself a bedroom?”

He blushed. “Padme, it’s not—”

“Don’t tell me what it’s not, Obi-Wan. Tell me what it is.” Padme kept her voice soft but left no room for arguments.

“This is wrong.”

Padme furrowed her brow. “What’s wrong?”

“What I’m doing—my life—what I’ve done—it’s wrong.” His breath hitched in his throat.

Suddenly realizing this issue was far deeper than he had let on, Padme settled on his robe-bed, nestling closer to him. “What’s so wrong about our life?” she asked gently.

“I shouldn’t be living it!” he blurted out. “I k-killed him—”

“Obi-Wan no—”

He was getting lost in his thoughts. “I failed him and then I killed him. He was my brother, my apprentice, I should have helped him—”

“He was beyond help.” Padme soothed, repeating all the things he told her over the years. “There’s nothing wrong—”

He buried his face in his hands and Padme’s heart shattered even more. “Everything is wrong! I’m living his life—the life I stole. Don’t you see, Padme? This is all wrong! It should be Anakin here—”

“No it shouldn’t.”

That got Obi-Wan to stop right in his tracks. “What?”

Padme took her best friend’s face into her hands, stroking his beard with her thumbs. “No. It. Shouldn’t.”

“Padme, h-how can you say that? How can you want this life with me—”

“How about you let me decide what I want and what’s good for me?” She softened the blow of her words with a raised brow.

Obi-Wan took a breath, not meeting her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

She forced his eyes upwards. “Don’t be,” she insisted, closing her eyes. Now or never, Padme. “I—Obi-Wan—”

“I’m not the family you need.” His voice was deadly quiet.

Her eyes snapped open. “What?”

He tried pulling away, but she wouldn’t let him go. “I’m not—” He swallowed. “I can’t be what you need.”

“And what exactly do I need?” Padme wasn’t going to lose her husband to his own mind, not if she had anything to say about it.

“Someone who can handle sharing a bed with you, being your husband, your children’s father, sharing your life, being in love with you—”

Padme’s eyes widened. “You’re in love with me?” she whispered.

Obi-Wan’s expression mirrored hers as he tried to back away, reminding Padme of a skittish animal. She pulled him closer.

“Padme,” he rasped. “I’m so—”

“Don’t you dare apologize, Obi-Wan Kenobi,” she murmured, running one of her hands along his shoulder. “Is this why you’ve been sleeping here?”

He nodded. “It was too much,” he whispered. “Feeling the way I did and being in your bed. But I couldn’t bear to leave you either. I figured this was the best solution.”

The hand on his shoulder drifted down to his chest. “All this time? You were sleeping here all this time?”

“Mostly,” he nodded. “I’d wait until you were asleep and then come here. It was better this way,” he added, seeing Padme’s crestfallen expression. “You needed your rest and my nightmares would wake you—”

“I don’t give a bantha’s ass about your nightmares waking me,” she insisted. “And what about your rest? Obi-Wan you don’t even fit in here! You must be so sore—you’ve been doing this for years?”

Her fretting brought a tiny smile to his face. “I’ve survived worse.”

“I don’t care—no more of this,” Padme declared. “You’re sleeping back in our bed, where you belong.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes grew distant again. “I can’t, Padme. You don’t need an old Jedi complicating—”

“What did I say about letting me decide what I need?” Padme smiled. “And . . . what if I wanted you in my bed?”

Obi-Wan furrowed his brow and Padme wanted desperately to smooth it out with her thumb. “What?”

She took a deep breath. “What if . . . I loved you too?”

His face went ashen. “Padme, no . . . How . . .?”

“How can I love? Or how can I love you?”

Obi-Wan opened and closed his mouth a few times before answering. “Both,” he choked out. “With everything that’s happened.”

“Just because I’ve loved and been hurt in my past doesn’t mean I can’t love again, Obi-Wan. I’m still human,” she murmured, stroking his cheek.

“But with Anakin—”

“Not him.”

“What?”

She sighed. “I wasn’t talking about him.”

Obi-Wan leaned into her touch, waiting for her to continue.

“I cared for Ani, truly, and I did love him—just not the way a wife should love a husband,” she said, finally confiding in him the realization she had come to long ago. “The Anakin I loved—the Anakin I thought I loved—never existed. At most, we had infatuation. We never had time to explore anything else. And . . . if we had . . . I don’t think our marriage would have worked. Even if everything hadn’t happened.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened. “But—you were both happy—”

“Obi-Wan,” she murmured, forcing his eyes to meet hers. “I’ve been happier with you on our worst day than with Anakin on our best.”

His eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Padme.”

“Out here, I’ve had nothing but time to think about our lives before, all the mistakes I made, everything we’ve been through . . . Luke and Leia are my world, but marrying Ani was a mistake. Rushing things was a mistake. I wanted us to be happy so badly I convinced myself we were.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Perhaps we were both blinded by love.”

“Both?”

“I’m not a fool, Padme. I’d known about you and Anakin long before you realized I knew.” He sighed. “You both had been through so much . . . I wanted you both to be happy.”

“We weren’t.” She squeezed his hand. “Not truly.”

“I think we both saw what we wanted to see.”

Padme wrapped her arms around his neck, letting out a sigh of relief when her husband wrapped his own arms around her. She kissed his neck, settling into his embrace.

“Did you ever think about this? Before?” Padme asked.

“I was so committed to the Order I never truly considered the possibility,” he answered honestly. “I couldn’t allow myself to think about . . . anything I could feel for you. I didn’t think any relationship was an option until you and Anakin were married.”

“And then it was too late,” she finished his thought, her breath tickling his skin.

“This wasn’t the way I’d have ever wanted us to become a couple,” he murmured.

“I know,” she reassured him. “But—if it was an option. If we could have explored our feelings. If everything hadn’t happened. What would you have done?”

“I’d have left the Order,” Obi-Wan replied, his voice so soft Padme barely heard the words.

She lifted her head. “Obi-Wan!”

“I couldn’t fulfill a commitment to you and to the Order,” Obi-Wan replied, the torment in his voice replaced by an eerie calm.

“But your duty—”

“—was to the Republic. I didn’t need to be part of the Order to serve the Republic.”

After a moment, Padme responded. “And if I hadn’t returned your feelings?”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” he whispered. “As you can see, I’m not very good at effectively repressing romantic feelings,” he smirked.

Padme beamed. “And now you don’t have to.”

She leaned in ready to finally kiss her best friend, her husband, for the first time—only for Obi-Wan to turn away.

“What is it?” she asked, lifting his chin to meet her eyes. “Please, tell me. Let me care for you the way you’ve always cared for me.”

Obi-Wan swallowed, his tormented blue eyes filling once more with tears. “Have you ever . . . have you ever wished it were Anakin here instead of me?”

Padme closed her eyes and cupped his face in her hands, pressing her forehead against his. “Once, a long time ago. When the babies were six months old.”

He started to nod his head, accepting this, but Padme refused to let him leave her embrace. She opened her eyes. “I was in so much pain I couldn’t think straight. Trying to deal with the pain of losing Anakin while raising twins . . . it was too much most days. And one day, you were bathing Luke and I remember thinking, you’re the wrong Jedi. It should be Anakin here bathing my babies.”

“But you know what?” Padme continued, wanting to chase the pain out of his eyes. “The very next morning, I heard one of the twins cry and I started to roll out of bed. But then I heard you talking to them and you sang a lullaby with your beautiful voice and you know what I said?”

“What?” Obi-Wan whispered, tears slipping down his cheeks.

She tightened her grip on his jaw, kissing his tears. “I said, oh good. Their father’s taking care of them.” She swallowed. “Luke and Leia may have Anakin’s DNA, but you are their father, through and through. One intrusive thought I had when I was deep in the throes of grief does not take that away and it never will. I love you, Obi-Wan. Our children love you. And even though the circumstances are never what I would have wanted, nothing has made me happier than being here with you and our children. Nothing.”

Obi-Wan leaned forward, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. “Padme,” he moaned, his nose brushing against hers.

“I love you, Obi-Wan,” she murmured against his mouth. “You’re my home.”

“I love you,” he repeated, pulling her closer. “I’ll never grow tired of saying that.”

“I’ll never grow tired of hearing it,” she beamed.

“Padme, I—ow!” Obi-Wan broke the kiss, rubbing the back of his head.

“Are you alright?” she asked, reaching over to inspect his head herself.

“I think I hit my head on this shelf,” he frowned.

Padme snorted. “I can’t believe you’ve been sleeping in this closet for years.”

“In hindsight, it does seem rather foolish, doesn’t it?” Obi-Wan grinned.

Padme’s heart fluttered when she finally saw Obi-Wan’s beautiful smile. “Come on. Let’s head somewhere a little more comfortable . . .”

No-pressure tags: @saradika @obiknights @alabama-metal-man @cypanache @your-dose-of-obidala @justsaysomethingjayj @written-musings @celestial-alignment @darlingamidala

#obidala #padme amidala #obi wan kenobi #obi wan x padme #obi wan kenobi x padme amidala #star wars fanfic #obidala fic #my fic #my writing

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cypanache · 1 year

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For the WiP Ask: Trap (Obidala) 👀

Oh thank you for asking about this. This fic is so dear to me pardon me while I ramble a lot.

A Trap of Your Own Making for anyone who is unfamiliar with this fic, is my canon-compliant obidala gap fill. Yes. Really. It is, as strange as it sounds, my love letter to OWK and tries to write a backstory for this pairing that could still allow OWK to happen unaltered but provide as much emotional weight behind the way Obi-Wan talks about Padme in that show as possible. The general premise explores how Obi-Wan and Padme’s relationship and the way they feel about each other throughout the arc of the prequels (good, bad and ugly) plays out within and contributes to what we see happen in canon.

The story starts smack dab in the back half of TPM establishing a connection between these two that while essentially platonic (at least for Obi-Wan) is still complicated and intense. I’ve completed the Naboo arc and am currently working on the next chapter which picks up during the 10 gap between TPM and AotC. We will eventually work all the way through AotC, TCW and RotS, taking into account everything that happens between these two and Anakin at least within on screen canon.

It does have a trigger warning for emotional infidelity in upcoming chapters (again canon-compliant), but it is honestly the most ‘faithful’ emotional infidelity I can write. Like these two love Anakin so much. But they also love each other, no matter how much they refuse to call it that or wish it were otherwise. They will tear themselves apart in order not to betray him and still somehow make choices that while understandable and rooted in the best of intentions will from Anakin’s POV legitimately feel like a betrayal. Hence the title. (Also my unofficial subtitle: “or how Obi-Wan and Padme fell in love and accidentally broke the galaxy”)

Okay with that really long intro/pitch and as a reward for sticking with me while I rambled about the fic that is definitely closest to my heart here’s a very obidalay excerpt from the upcoming chapter behind the read more cut for spoiler protection (as if I haven’t already done that)

FIC SPOILERS

- First meeting post the Naboo arc. Set a little over 2 years after TPM during Nute Gunray’s first trial -

He knew Padme would be there. But the knowledge doesn’t prepare him. Maybe it’s the way this trial has dredged up everything about that time and brought it close to the surface. Or maybe it’s the fact that after that moment with Master Billaba he’s become adept at shoving every thought of her into the far back corner of his subconscious so quickly he could almost convince himself he doesn’t think about her at all. Or maybe he has simply missed her more than he let himself realize.

Whatever it is, the first time he catches sight of her, tucked in among the handmaidens, it feels like he’s been hit by a Gundark, and all he can think as he takes his seat across the courtroom from the Queen’s retinue is it's a good thing he didn’t see her before he testified.

She looks exactly the same and completely different and he can’t make himself look away.

The hood pulled up around her face somehow does more to accentuate her features than obscure them, giving him nowhere to look but the newly sharpened line of her cheekbone, the deep brown eyes that catch his gaze and won’t let go, the way her mouth curves in a small, secret smile that he can’t seem to stop himself from returning.

He wasn’t sure what he expected when he saw her again. Had determinedly done his best to have almost no expectations at all. Not after the way they parted. After he had used her terribly and then tossed her aside. Nevermind that he’d done it for Anakin, who had always been her first priority. Nevermind that she had agreed to the exact scheme. Or how little he had wanted to, how many hours he had waited on that bench hoping for the chance to explain himself, to apologize. The end result was the same. The sin was his. She has every right to be angry with him at least. Indifferent at best.

The fact she seems to be none of those things feels life altering. A grant of absolution he didn’t know he needed.

He’s not entirely sure what to do with this unexpected absolution, but that turns out to be okay because Padme decides for him.

So apparently some things haven’t changed.

“Knight Kenobi,” Sabe’s voice carries well across the antechamber.

He turns and bows low at their approach, “It is good to see you again, your Majesty.”

“And you. You spoke well on our behalf. Naboo is grateful for your continued friendship.”

“I merely spoke the truth. And as for my friendship,” his eyes slide over to where Padme stands just at Sabe’s shoulder before he can stop himself, “Naboo embraced me in an hour of great need. I can think of nothing that would change the affection I hold for it.”

“Then I wonder if I might impose upon you for a favor.”

“Of course.”

“My handmaiden,” Sabe turns to direct his attention to Padme, which is good because his eyes haven't left hers, “has an errand I need her to run for me. Coruscant is very large and we are all still finding our way. Would you be willing to escort her on your way back to the Temple?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

—

They are halfway to the transport platform before his brain catches up with him enough to pose a critical question. “Where are we going?”

Padme bites at her lower lip. “Would you be terribly cross with me if I told you there is no errand?”

“Absolutely.” Obi-Wan deadpans, ignoring her small gasp of indignation, as he continues, “Because now I have to admit I’d been planning on getting lost.”

He’d almost forgotten how much he likes making her laugh.

#obidala #obidala fic #wip ask game #cy writes things #cy answers things #trap of your own making #toyom

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xxlittle0birdxx · 1 year

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Obi-wan's brow furrowed, as he picked up the scanner, fingertips automatically tracing over a set of parallel scratches gouged into one of the dull bronze enameled sides; a souvenir from that nest of gundarks. He'd laid eyes on it last on Polis Massa, just a week or so after the twins were born. He'd wanted to leave everything behind, but they'd had to remove all traces of their brief sojourn there. So he'd tossed it, still smeared with soot and ash, into a crate that he heaved into a small cave a few months after they landed on Lah'mu. He found the power switch without looking and turned it on, then scrolled through the record of the scanner's findings. Dozens and dozens of tests of Luke comparing his DNA to Obi-wan and Padmé's. Obi-wan didn't need to see the results. He turned it over in his hands, noting the modifications Luke had made. 'I knew your birth father,' he admitted, after a tension-filled pause. A loaded statement if there ever was one. He thought he knew Anakin. He once believed they were closer than bothers. And then one day, everything he thought he knew exploded in his face.

#obi wan kenobi #padme amidala #luke skywalker #obidala #past anidala #au post rots #au star wars #post revenge of the sith #obi wan and padme in hiding #obi wan and padme raising luke #obidala fic #star wars fic #star wars fan fiction #sorry its angsty #mentioned anakin #blood doesn’t make a family #ao3 #obi wan x padme

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anretc · 2 months

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Fic: A Harbour in the Tempest

A Harbour in the Tempest (811 words) by anr Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi Characters: Padmé Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Padmé Amidala Lives, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort Summary: The baby stirs in her arms as Beru walks forward to take him, and Padme's broken heart splinters again.

#star wars #obi-wan kenobi #padme amidala #fic #fanfic #anretc #prequel trilogy #fanfic by anr #obi-wan/padme #obidala

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fandomsbyladymelodrama · 12 days

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Always a day late and a dollar short lol...but as yesterday was May the Fourth and using my last post as a very loose segue (since Rian Johnson directed The Last Jedi and Oh Baby), here's a new Obidala fic for those in the mood <3

#padme amidala #obi wan kenobi #obidala #obi-wan x padme #anakin skywalker #star wars #love triangle #prequel fic #au #they deserved better x 988375737 #eventual fix it #but no promises on when chapter updates will happen #since i've already spread myself too thin on projects #but this has been sitting in my files for too long

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your-dose-of-obidala · 1 year

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She had never been more aware of the bond, than the moment it snapped. One moment it had been there, binding her to Anakin, and the next it snapped and she was alone, hurting and awash in the pain of labor.

She couldn't focus on the loss of it. Her mind was too preoccupied on the contractions. She let her body do what it could do. Focused on bringing her children into this world. Then she would deal with the broken force bond. She had lived without it before, she could do so again. First, she needed to bring those children into the world. And as a woman from Naboo, she lived with a deeply rooted certainty that her body was able to do this.

The realization that something was amiss and not how it should be came to her afterward. It crept onto her slowly.

It felt like there was a hole in her soul and all of her own was rushing out into nothingness. Her self, her energy, her being... All of it was leaving her, following him, as if it all belonged to Anakin.

She knew then that she would die. Her body felt like lead, her insides empty. What purpose was there? What could she still do? She was alone, a small flame in an ocean of darkness, whereas before she had been connected, she had been part of something. Anakin, but not only Anakin.

Padmé closed her eyes. Just for a moment, she thought.

"Padmé?" She knew that voice. "Padmé, look."

When she tried opening her eyes her lids felt like there was sand in them. It was hard keeping them open. Harder to focus on the shimmering outline in front of her. She knew that beige robe, that coppery hair.

"Obi-Wan?"

She wanted to tell him that there was still good in Anakin, that there was still good in this world, but the words failed her. She closed her eyes.

Again, Obi-Wan was saying her name from far away.

Strange, that he was here with her. After all this time. She still remembered him, twenty years ago. Padawan braid, twinkling eyes and a cleft in his chin.

Maybe that's why he wore the beard, she thought. No one would take him seriously if he looked like a Padawan himself. Least of all Anakin.

Anakin...

Anakin, who had left her. Anakin who had turned to the dark side and took everything with him.

Everything, even her.

At that moment it felt like she was sinking. Sinking out of reality and away from Obi-Wan, her children, and the inevitability of the future.

She could see energy. And felt its call loud and clear. She wanted to be part of it. Wanted to go back. There at least everything was good. There she was at peace. With her loved ones. All of them. Because somehow everyone was already part of it. Wasn't that beautiful?

No pain, no guilt, no shame.

She could be part of it.

"Padmé? Padmé!"

She heard the voice and somehow even felt the voice.

She was only one flame in a storm of energy. And it wouldn't take a lot for her light to glide into the energy and become one with it.

"Padmé!"

The urgency in that voice was like a shove. Where were her children? She wanted to see them! Yes, they were here, but they also weren't. And their absence was more important than a vague sense of belonging. She wanted to see them, wanted to raise them, to help them, to be there for them, and Obi-Wan--

"--eed you! Your children need you. The galaxy needs you, Padmé!"

His voice felt like he was throwing a rope toward her. A sturdy rope, made of three strands. She noticed the beige color and more importantly the frayed edges, but it was here and she grasped it and pulled herself up and held on.

And later Padmé would realize that this was the moment when it happened. There was no fancy Master/Padawan ritual, no breathtaking lovemaking like with Anakin, Padmé just grasped the rope and sent her flame upwards. But instead of burning it, she could see how it was lit from inside and the glowing burned its way upwards towards an unknown goal.

She heard a surprised gasp and then a thud.

Obi-Wan, she thought, rather confused and tried to open her eyes, but she couldn't, not after all of that. She was tired, but content.

Strangely, her inner self still held onto that rope and somehow Padmé couldn't help herself smiling, fondly.

When she lost consciousness she thought that everything was going to be okay.

TBC?

#obidala #obi wan x padme #my fic #force bond shenanigans

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qulrikkek · 1 year

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When even Obi Wan has these kind of cruel thoughts, and feelings... It's not advisable to get in the way of the swing of his lightsaber...

#obi wan #obi wan fanfiction #obi wan fic #obi wan kenobi #obidala #sith anakin #obi wan and anakin #duel on mustafar #star wars #padme amidala

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celestial-alignment · 1 year

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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker Characters: Padmé Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Original Characters, Liedae Kenobi Additional Tags: Obi-Wan & Padme's daughter, Sequel, Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Suitless Darth Vader, POV Alternating, Rebel Leader Padmé Amidala, Rebel Obi-Wan Kenobi Series: Part 3 of The Force That Binds Summary:

Obi-Wan and Padmé have settled in their new home with their daughter, Liédae. Even though the ghost of the past continues to haunt them, life is peaceful. Of course, it is only a matter of time before the evil of Palpatine's empire reaches them...

#It's here #obidala #obi wan x padme #obi wan/padme #my writing #star wars #star wars fanfic #the force that binds #confluence fic #Happy May the Fourth #May the Fourth be with you #ao3 #obi wan kenobi #padme amidala

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cypanache · 1 year

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Chapters: 5/11 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi Characters: Padmé Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker Additional Tags: Obidala, Canon Compliant, Gap Filler, Emotional Infidelity, from a certain point of view, its complicated, good intentions do not great choices make, Angst, Romance, Romantic Angst, Pining, so much pining, we love anakin skywalker in this bar

Summary:

What's between them has everything and nothing to do with Anakin Skywalker.

OR: Padme and Obi-Wan's relationship from Naboo to Mustafar

Chapter 5 - In which our pair reconnect on Coruscant over two years later … Anakin is off world, Obi-Wan is off-kilter, and Padme is having the time of her life.

#obidala #toyom #obi wan kenobi #padme admidala #padme x obi wan #obidala fic #they’re completely ridiculous in this chapter #and entirely your problem now #the author will not be apologizing for the chapter length #or the roman holiday vibes #cy writes things

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xxlittle0birdxx · 5 months

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Leia pasted a public smile on her face. The kind that would have earned her an approving nod from her mother. Luke noticed it didn't reach her eyes. There was also something vaguely familiar about her. Something about the wealth of glossy brown hair and wide brown eyes reminded him of his mother. She certainly didn't resemble either of her parents. 'Hi,' he murmured. His arms tightened around the clone.

'Hello.' She couldn't keep her eyes off the toy in his arms, and he noticed.

'It's Commander Cody,' he told her with the beginnings of a shy smile. 'My father knew him.' He turned the toy around to display the clone's armor that he'd spent hours meticulously cleaning. Luke worked open the latches that held the helmet on and removed it. 'See?' He held the miniaturized Cody out to her. 'You can play with him,' he offered, almost drunk on the sheer novelty of the opportunity to interact with someone his age outside a holographic classroom setting. He'd only ever read about situations like this.

The disdainful curl of Leia's mouth grew more pronounced. 'I don't want to play with your doll.'

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justsaysomethingjayj · 4 months

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How is it possible to have written so much and accomplished so little?

#me fic writing #at 52k for obidala #and less than 4k of it posted

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friskynotebook · 7 months

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You Make It Feel Like Christmas Ch. 5

An Obidala Hallmark Christmas movie rewrite!

CW: age gap, food, grief, injury, concussion

Summary: Padme and the Kenobis take in the Christmas market and share Christmas memories

Also on AO3!

Padme scrunched her nose as she woke, feeling a rough dog tongue licking her face.

“Oh, good morning, Lola,” she giggled, reaching out to pet the puppy. “Good morning, sweetheart. How are you?”

Padme rolled out of bed and dressed, carrying Lola downstairs. Looks like I’m the first one up. Wrapping herself in a blanket scarf she had found in the back of her borrowed closet, she lit a match and started the fireplace.

“Perfect,” she sighed, a smile on her face.

Satisfied with the cozy early morning atmosphere, Padme headed into the kitchen to prepare the coffee as she’d watched Obi-Wan do for the past few days, humming to herself as it brewed.

“Is that coffee I smell?”

Obi-Wan’s voice startled Padme out of her humming. “It is. It’s ready, actually.”

“Lovely,” he replied, watching her pour him a cup. “Thank you, Ami.”

“You’re welcome,” she blushed, pouring her own cup.

“And I see you got a fire started as well.”

“I did,” she nodded. “Cozy, isn’t it?”

“Very,” he agreed. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Leia ran downstairs dressed in a plain green onesie.

“I look like a giant green bean!” Leia wailed. “I’m supposed to be an elf!”

“Oh, Leia,” Padme cooed. “At least you’re a really cute green bean.”

Leia pouted and looked down at her socked feet.

“I think I can help,” Padme said. “I would just need a sewing kit.” She turned towards Obi-Wan, a question in her eyes.

“I think I can find one of those,” he nodded.

“Watch your step right there,” Obi-Wan warned Padme, taking her hand and leading her into the dusty old barn.

“Thanks . . . Oh, wow. This is such a beautiful space,” Padme gasped, looking around.

“Oh, thank you,” he demurred. “It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

“It is . . .”

Obi-Wan swallowed. “Satine used to keep her horse out here . . . I’ve been wanting to turn it into an animal hospital for a while now. I’d love it if my clients didn’t have to drive sixty miles to Boulder if their animal needs surgery, you know?”

“That would be great.” Padme walked in comfortable silence with him for a few beats before clearing her throat. “I’ve actually been meaning to ask you about her, about Satine.”

“Oh. Um . . .” Obi-Wan looked down and swallowed. “Well, uh, she passed away a little over three years ago now.” He rubbed his nose, scratched his beard. “Sh-she wasn’t sick for all that long, which is good . . . If anything good could come from that, you know.” He turned away and kept walking.

“I’m so sorry,” Padme murmured.

“Thank you.”

“But that’s not really what I meant.”

Obi-Wan turned to her, his brow furrowed. “Oh?”

“I actually wanted to hear about what she was like. A memory or something?”

“Alright,” he said, smiling softly. “She would make freshly baked cinnamon bread every weekend for the family. She loved baking . . . We would make sure to spend time together every evening at the end of the day to talk about how things went and to reconnect as a couple. That was very important to us, to do that . . . And she loved Christmas. That was her holiday. She made homemade stockings for the children, handmade ornaments . . .” He swallowed. “She always made sure the children got one present they really wanted and one present she believed would make them better people. And just about every year, the children preferred that present anyway . . . I know this might sound strange, but she had the most wonderful scent. When I woke up in the morning, even before I opened my eyes, I just knew she was there. I knew she was all around me.”

“She sounds like an amazing person,” Padme said, her voice hoarse from disuse. “You must miss her a lot.”

Obi-Wan nodded, unable to speak. He stepped over to a few boxes, starting to dig through them.

“You know,” Padme began. “If you did turn this space into an animal hospital, it would be like you were doing something for Satine, in her memory. Helping animals with this incredible space she loved so much.”

“I’ve honestly never thought of it like that,” he replied. “When you put it like that, it sounds lovely.”

Padme smiled and looked down, letting his praise wash over her.

Obi-Wan pulled a metal tin from a dusty box, smiling at her. “Sewing kit.”

“Excited?” Korkie asked his little sister.

“Yep!” Leia beamed, swinging her big brother’s and father’s arms as she walked with them into the Christmas market, showing off her special sparkly elf costume under her jacket.

The family gathered together with the other families as the children gathered on stage for the outdoor Christmas play.

“She’s an elf among green beans,” Obi-Wan murmured to Padme, leaning in close. Padme blushed and opened her mouth to respond when the children interrupted her.

“In Santa’s workshop far away, Santa’s elves work night and day!” Leia grinned in front of her classmates, clearly excited to be wearing such a pretty costume.

“These little elves make video games!” Santa Quinlan announced.

Leia stepped up front. “And these little elves give dolls their names!”

Padme gave Leia a dazzling smile as Obi-Wan surreptitiously went to rub his eye.

“And Santa packs the gifts in his sleigh and takes it to kids on Christmas Day!” Quinlan finished. “Merry Christmas!”

As the crowd started to disperse, Obi-Wan pulled Padme aside. “Her costume really is amazing. I cannot thank you enough, Ami.”

Padme blushed again. Probably just the cold . . . “Oh, I think I might have overdone it a little bit.”

Leia ran over and lept into her father’s arms. “There she is!” Obi-Wan cried as he lifted her up.

“I had the best costume ever!” Leia declared.

“I don’t think Leia minds,” Obi-Wan teased, grinning at Padme. He turned back to his daughter. “You did! Congratulations!”

“Thank you Daddy!” Leia clung to his neck. ##

Later that evening, the family was walking through the market, twinkling Christmas lights dancing through the crisp winter air as their boots trudged through the snow.

“Who wants hot chocolate?” Obi-Wan asked the children.

“Me!” They all cheered.

“Me too!” Obi-Wan grinned. “Want one?” he asked Padme.

“Oh no,” she replied. “I ate, like, half a turkey.”

Obi-Wan chuckled. “We’ll be back. Korkie, help me bring them over?”

“Okay!” Korie said, taking his father’s hand as they walked off.

“Ami!” Mace and Depa came over to Padme, Luke, and Leia.

“Oh hi!” Padme greeted them. “Enjoying the market?”

“It’s wonderful—one of my favorite parts of the season,” Depa replied.

“Listen, Ami, I wanted to talk to you about your car,” Mace said. “We’ve been combing the woods looking for it, and I think we’re finally closing in on it.”

“How have you been feeling?” Depa asked.

“Oh, I . . .” Padme trailed off as she glanced over to where Obi-Wan and Luke went in search of hot chocolate—only to find Obi-Wan going for a polite kiss on the cheek and Siri pulling him in for a more passionate kiss.

Before she even realized what she was feeling, her heart sank. Why do I feel so . . . despondent? He can kiss whoever he wants. He doesn’t owe me anything.

Padme tried to not let her disappointment show on her face. “I’m feeling much better these days,” she replied. “Must be the mountain air.”

Obi-Wan and Korkie returned with the hot chocolates, just in time for the tree lighting.

“Three, two, one!” The crowd chanted, cheering when the Christmas tree in town square was lit up in all its glory.

“They are out,” Obi-Wan said as he came into the living room from putting the children to bed. “Must have been all the sugar.”

He sank down on the couch next to Padme. “Are you alright?” he asked. “You’ve been awfully quiet since we left the market.”

Padme sighed. “Look, Obi-Wan, I have to tell you something. I’m having the time of my life with you and your kids—at least as far as I know—I think I should find another place to stay because . . . I don’t want to be selfish and come between you and Siri.”

Obi-Wan furrowed his brow. “What?”

“I saw you and her in the square kissing when you went to get hot chocolate.”

“Oh!” Obi-Wan chuckled. “No, Ami, it’s not like that at all—”

“I get it,” Padme continued. “I mean, I just fell out of the sky like some crazy snowflake with no memory. There’s a whole world here that I’m not a part of, and I get that—”

“It wasn’t a real kiss,” Obi-Wan interrupted.

Padme looked taken aback. “It looked like a real kiss . . .”

“Well it was a kiss, but it was because of the mistletoe,” Obi-Wan explained. “She held a mistletoe over my head and I wanted to give her a kiss on the cheek to be polite, but she, well, went further than I was comfortable with.” He cleared his throat.

Padme frowned. “Are you alright?”

Obi-Wan looked up from his lap. “Hmm?”

“Are you alright?” she repeated. “She forced you into something you didn’t want, only to make it worse by crossing your boundaries even further—and she did it in public in front of Korkie because she knew you wouldn’t want to make a scene in front of him. It couldn’t have been easy for you, Obi-Wan. Are you okay?”

Obi-Wan swallowed, his features softening. If Padme didn’t know better, she’d think he looked touched. “Better now that I’m home in front of the fire,” he smiled.

After a beat, he continued. “We did go on a date, once. But it was so . . . wrong. It didn’t feel right. She force-fed me some of the most slimy tofu I’d ever had.”

Padme gave him a small smile. “For what it’s worth, I’d never make you eat slimy tofu. Anyone who makes slimy tofu should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen.”

He laughed. “Ami, Christmas has not been the same around here for a few years now, and having you here with us . . . You’ve made it feel special.”

“Really?” Padme asked, her voice soft.

“Really. And you are a part of this family—I mean, part of this world, here in Salida,” he quickly corrected himself. “I know you’re part of another world and we’ll figure out where that is but until we do . . . What I’m trying to say is we’d love to have you stay here with us.”

She beamed at him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Daddy! Daddy! Can you bring me water? I’m thirsty!” Leia called.

Padme raised her head. “Duty calls?”

Obi-Wan stood, a wry grin on his face. “Duty calls.”

No-pressure tags: @saradika @obiknights @justsaysomethingjayj @cypanache @alabama-metal-man @vic3456 @darlingamidala @celestial-alignment @your-dose-of-obidala @written-musings @fearless-too-and-stubborn

#obidala #obi wan kenobi #padme amidala #obi wan x padme #obi wan kenobi x padme amidala #obi wan fanfic #padme fanfic #my fic #my writing

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fandomsbyladymelodrama · 20 days

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

I haven't been tagged in this one (yet) but I'm in a major procrastination mood this morning so answering tumblr questions is currently way more appealing than actual writing so let's do this XD

How many works do you have on AO3? 67 1/2 - the 1/2 is because I have a very little Obidala-ish thing which is currently sitting in my files waiting to be published when I find an extra minute (like right now, for instance, except that I'm doing a survey instead oops ;))

What's your total AO3 word count? Ummm...let's just say if I had a dollar for every word of fanfic I've ever written, my bank account would be very, very happy.

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly Game of Thrones. But my full fandoms list has 25 unique fandoms, some major, some minor, and some where the entire tag is owned by me.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Île Aux Ours, Jamais T'oublier, Sunrise on the Jade Sea, La Nuit Venait, The Heir of Riverrun which are all Jorleesi fics except for THOR, which I'm pleasantly surprised to find so high in the rankings (although to be fair there's Jorleesi in that one too :)). And just because I was curious, my top five excluding any Jorleesi content are: New World Symphony (Vicbourne - oh I loved them so, history be damned), Dreams and Dragonglass (Viserys x Alicent from HotD), A Girl, A Drowned Man (ahem, Jaime Lannister x Arya Stark - don't even ask XD), over time and tide and death leaping (Obidala4Ever <3), and Easily onward, thorough flowers and weed (Siegfried x Audrey from the new All Creatures Great & Small - S5 is our season friends, I can feel it)

Do you respond to comments? Yes, all of them (except for the obvious trolls). I heart my readers and have had such good times in the comment section <3 Speaking of which, I'm behind with replies again. Just know my inbox is glaring at me.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ummm, that's a hard one because I usually reach for the fluff endings with both hands. But I suppose...right now it's got to be my Hunger Games fic, and she gained the willow tree. I mean, it's intensely angsty, even more so than the source material, and may remain that way forever (at least until I update it and fix what I broke lol)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Almost all of my Jorleesi fics have unabashedly happy endings but I think Île Aux Ours edges out the others just because basically everyone (spoiler alert: except for Viserys, Rhaegar and the Night King) live! And all my ships survive! And House Mormont is flourishing! And the Seven Kingdoms are at peace for once! (at least until I write the sequel ;))

Do you get hate on fics? Only on the Game of Thrones fics, and relatively speaking, very, very rarely. It was slightly more common right at the end of Game of Thrones (people had feelings) but it's almost completely died off in recent years...which is a relief. Because trolls are easily ignored but they don't make anyone's day brighter.

Do you write smut? Again, rarely. But, ya know, sometimes things happen ;)

Do you write crossovers? Yes, but usually it's not what I would consider a true crossover. More me adapting one film/series to the setting/plot/characters of another. The only true crossover I've ever written is, I believe, this one: light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling (where Tom Bombadil and Melisandre of Asshai meet up and make a trade - sometimes writing brains are weird)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge?

Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not that I know of? Although I had a reader request permission to translate a couple of my Jorleesi fics into Russian so that may have happened and I just never received a link from them.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ohhhh, yesssssss. My forever partner-in-Jorleesi-crime is @salzrand <3 9 fics and counting :)

What's your all-time favorite ship? Based on my writing activity over the last 5-6 years, I think there's really only one correct answer here and it's the lobsters. A bear and his dragon-girl. A princess and her steadfast knight. They're perfect, they're dreamy. And forever inspiring. I cannot. But other than Jorleesi, I have to give top billing to Jane/Lisbon, Obi-Wan/Padme, Dickon/Mary, Jean Valjean/Fantine, Christy/Neil, Lexie/Mark because these are ships that have stayed with me for at least a decade or longer and are part of my DNA at this point.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Ugh. Don't talk to me about unfinished fics. They judge me with their Chapter 1/? eyes. They glare at me disapprovingly each time I log into AO3. And I know that there are a few that have been waiting on an update for a long, long time (and some of you have probably given up hope that I'll ever return to them), but never say never...at least until I'm dead XD

What are your writing strengths? I think I have a flair for writing scenery and believable multi-generational family dynamics. I also think I'm fairly good at fixing canon disappointments with some fun and unique twists (it's the soap opera training, I swear XD). I try to keep dialogue very natural, characterization at least partly canon-based and do a lot of research for my fics on time-period details, with mostly successful results...lol well, that's the hope anyway. And I think another strength that has made me successful in writing age-gap ships especially is that I can write character relationships in a way that might go beyond the whole attraction thing and touch on deeper connections (or something).

What are your writing weaknesses? Endings. Aren't they everyone's? Titles. And my pacing can be off sometimes. I think I get away with it in fic-writing for the most part but I have a few fics that aren't as "tight" as they could be. There are a few words/phrases that I rely on too much. And I'm sure I have a bunch of others that I'm unaware of.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I haven't done this much and I really don't venture outside French if I try it. I rely on friends who are native speakers to make sure I'm not saying anything off the wall.

First fandom you wrote for? Titanic 😍 I had to save Thomas Andrews. He looked so sad and despairing winding that clock at the end. I should have probably saved Leo too but let's just assume in my version, Kate scooched over let him share the door XD

Favorite fic you've written? Impossible to choose. I love them all. Okay, okay, Sunrise on the Jade Sea. But only because you're forcing me to answer <3

Tagging: @clarasimone @gettingovergreta @toas-tea @bridgr6 @crushermyheart @heatherfield <3 Or be like me and tag yourself ;)

#fic writing #tumblr survey #game of thrones #acgas 2020 #jorleesi #obidala #obi-wan x padme #siegfried x audrey #vicbourne #all my ships #i need to make a proper list at some point #tag games #procrastination #it's my middle name #okay actual writing time #but this was fun #<3

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