#now i'm just confused and frustrated | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pandora15 · 7 months

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okay i'm gonna rant a lot (like. a LOT) about the ahsoka series and most of it is like. pretty critical, so please skip if you love the series! (you're valid and there are things I did like about the show i'm just. frustrated and tired i guess)

i think i just really miss animated ahsoka and like. ahsoka having actual flaws y'know? and like being an actual character that I can relate to.

it bothers me SO much that she like. has no reverence or even respect for all the jedi who mentored her, to the point that she won't even mention them? instead she mentions anakin, who yes had a major role in her training, obviously, but he's also the source of a lot of her trauma. HE'S the one who stormed the temple and killed jedi. he's the one who spent years afterwards hunting down the rest and killing them — the same people who took ahsoka in when she was a child and raised her.

literally, anakin is the one who tried to kill HER in rebels.

but it's fine because "he's the only one who stood by her even when no one else would" right? and "he was a good master" because he left recordings for her and taught her to survive and —

like okay.

okay.

anakin and ahsoka's relationship is wonderful and important and I love their dynamic in TCW. seeing anakin be in a position of mentorship was really cool, and ahsoka's personality worked with his PERFECTLY.

but TCW also made it a point to see ahsoka be mentored by other jedi, and that was one of the things I loved most about it. we get to see ahsoka with plo koon, with aayla secura, with luminara unduli, with tera sinube, and it was amazing to see all these different jedi and how they're all wonderful and unique and AMAZING through the lens of ahsoka.

but now it's like. she doesn't even mention any of them? in rebels she did mention a few and I was happy to see that, but in the ahsoka series it's like. only anakin, the rest of the jedi don't even matter to her because "wow anakin was the only one who ever stood by me no one else did anything for me"

also damn i used to LOVE sabine. when I was watching rebels I was so in awe of her because she's so cool and interesting and intelligent and has that creative fun side to her as well? and the fact that tiya sircar is an american with bengali origins (just like me) made me feel like. really good about her and her character.

when natasha liu bordizzo was cast as sabine for ahsoka I was pretty disappointed — not because she wasn't asian because she absolutely is, but because to me, sabine was indian-coded. in rebels, her entire family (except for her father iirc) were all portrayed by indian voice actors. that could not have been a coincidence. it was something that I was grateful to see — that I can see interesting, intriguing characters in animation and in star wars that look like me.

but like, fine. I decided to look past it and try to be excited for the show.

but now I feel like sabine is like. a totally different character who she was in rebels. and I understand that the show tries to write off her change in personality as grief over what had happened to her family, but it just doesn't feel like a logical direction from where she is at the end of rebels to where she is at the beginning of ahsoka. maybe if the show decided to take more time to explain what happened during that time or even gave us some flashbacks to that time, i'd be more accepting of it but it doesn't. it just feels jarring to me.

more than that, sabine literally condemns the home galaxy to whatever thrawn will end up doing in his attempts to bring back the empire because she gave baylan the map. rebels sabine would never have done that. it's as though she completely forgot not only what kanan sacrificed when he died, but also ezra at the end of rebels.

and the fact that we don't see ezra finding out about what sabine did (and we likely never will) is INFURIATING to me. like????? this is such an important thing and he doesn't know about it?

and we think about the fact that sabine doing all of this for ezra is something that's like. so attachment-coded and such a central theme of star wars but then not really facing any consequences for doing that is like. hello????? it almost feels like the show is encouraging unhealthy attachment, which is extremely counter to what star wars and being a jedi is all about.

and to be clear, the concept of a character in their thirties who was previously considered non-force sensitive training to become a jedi but struggling to reach the force is definitely interesting. i feel like if it was done for a different character, I may have been more on board for it. the problem with it being sabine is that I feel like this arc is almost at the expense of the arc she had in rebels and it takes away from the aspects of her personality that I really enjoyed in rebels -- like her art??? her mandalorian identity????

i would've also been okay with her like. becoming someone like chirrut imwe — like being someone who believes in the force and the jedi way, and like seeking internal balance for herself, but her becoming force sensitive "because she trained and trained and really wanted it so badly for literal years" (even though rebels never showed us that she wanted to be a jedi, even when she was literally living with two of them and learned solely to use a lightsaber from kanan).

also no one tell chirrut imwe that he could've become force sensitive all this time, he just wasn't trying hard enough i guess. RIP.

okay another random topic change.

i'm eternally GRATEFUL that we didn't end up seeing ahsoka taking obi-wan's place on mustafar to fight anakin because that would've. i probably would've turned off my tv right then and there. (there was a leak about obi-wan's dead body being shown i'm assuming on mustafar but who knows. and genuinely i think that would've traumatized me. i'm not kidding.) i was so NERVOUS about this happening, and i'm really glad it didn't. here's hoping they don't do it in season 2 or whatever ends up coming next for ahsoka.

(ewan please stay away from the mando-verse shows i'm begging)

that being said, looking back at ahsoka's journey from start to where we are now, I just feel sad. I feel like we hit such a beautiful ending point to her arc at the end of rebels and now this show completely soured it for me. I have no idea how they're going to resolve it from here, and I'm getting this sinking feeling that we're never going to get to a beautiful ending point for her character now because we've gone way too far and there's no way to step it back.

I feel like sabine is like. a completely different character than who she was in rebels. literally, in my head, sabine from rebels is a different person. I think that's the only way I can make sense of this in my head. I can't connect the two together.

anyways, sorry for the long rant, now that it's been almost a week since the finale and I had time to reflect, I'm realizing that I'm not very happy about this series. there are things I did like (ie. ezra, huyang, baylan, shin, the music), but I feel like they really fumbled on the main two characters here and it's really unfortunate.

#ahsoka show #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka critical #(guess it's time for me to use that tag rip)#it's just sad to me because i LOVE writing ahsoka as a lot of you know #she was genuinely my second favorite character in star wars #now i'm just confused and frustrated #and sad #anyways dave filoni you gotta stop please #knowing when to end a story is SO important #you had it right there but now it's like. hblergh.#ahsoka tano #sabine wren #sabine critical

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sskk-manifesto · 1 month

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(*・ω・*)b♪

#I'm a bit late but :)#Mmmhh lots of thoughts about this episode. Nothing really relevant though lol #I like it... Mostly. Well‚ I like Atsushi‚ and I like Atsushi screentime.#I always forget that there's actually a one week timeskip within the Guild arc #I think these chapters were generally better executed in the manga.#But even then it's just...#Why do the make the Guild / Fitzgerald so. dumb. Why do they make them act so wildly irrationally and at the protagonists' advantage #It really gives villain acting entirely mindlessly to make the plot advance and the heroes win. It's really sensless.#I mean especially when Atsushi yielded. Why didn't Fitzgerald take his offer. For real!!#For real. He had NOTHING to gain from proceeding with his plan. He already obtained for Atsushi and the ada to collaborate.#Now they are NEVER going to help him‚ and that's agreat loss for him.#And idk. i hear that little Tumblr post in my voice saying “why would you complain about characters acting irrationally!#Do people irl never act irrationally?”#And yeah I get Fitzgerald was frustrated for losing Mitchell and his fight with Hawthorne. Okay I understand.#But that's definitely too much. That's him acting downright stupid at the heroes' advantage and it's just pretty underwhelming to read?#That said. It's just general notes I'm not particularly annoyed because like. That's just b/s/d to you. Dumbing down the villains a second–#so the author can escape the trap they put themselves into. Very Marvel-esque move lol.#On that exact same note WHY WOULD LUCY HAVE THE DOLL.#The doll is the whole premise for your plan working why would you not protect it with everything 😭😭😭#I'm not getting in the Lucy / Atsushi scene itself. I love Lucy but I swear every time that scene gets played a femminist dies #(it's me. I'm the femminist dying every time.)#Mmmhh a couple more things. I dislike the ost choice in the scene where Steinbeck is torturing Q it feels so out of place #And I really don't get what's the deal with the Hawthorne / Fitzgerald convo it's so confusing to me. Like it It looks like Hawtorne is–#blaming Fitzgerald for Mitchell's condition (both in health and for her family status) but...#Objectively neither of those things are Fitzgerald's fault? Idk maybe I just have very little media comprehension for this arc because–#a lot of things just seem to happen with no sense. But it's okay #Im complaining a lot lol but its mostly irrelevant things (or like with the dumbification of villains things I've learnt to live with lmao)#But the episode was generally nice. The animation this season is consistently very pretty.#random rambles

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moonscape · 3 months

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god i wish i liked totk so badly

#bwark #i feel like im too mean on it sometimes #i really hope it becomes like age of calamity was to me where i didn't like it on release but gave it another chance after a few years and #enjoyed it more the second time #and there are stuff where i fully agree it does better than botw!! namely the rito and gerudo sections and the finale #but everything else just didn't click with me at all #i think getting back on my revali kick (as i regularly do lmao) has gotten me to do some more thinking about where i stand on it now that #the dust has settled. im way less pissy about my disappointment with it than i was back at release. im just kinda. sad about it now #like i wanted to see what everyone else was seeing. i wanted to say that it deserved those 10/10 scores (and tbf i don't think botw was #deserving of 10/10 either. phenomenonal game that i absolutely adore but it's more like an 8.5)#but it just left me very. disappointed? confused? frustrated?#like i said gimme a few years and i'll gibe it another shot now that i know what to expect but that's where i'm at with it atm

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eskawrites · 9 months

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if y'all ever want to know what writing the celebrity fake dating au was like, i have a document that is literally just a bulleted list of every time jump that happens in the fic with a lil 5-7 word explanation of what happens in that time period, and that document is seven pages long

#there are...so many time skips #how did y'all READ this and not get frustrated #i got confused just writing it!#i'm confused now writing the nancy pov!#why is may 1986 so LONG #writing things #celebrity fake dating au #the real question is why does robin always go through it in may

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very-uncorrect · 4 months

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Being told by adults to stop lying about something when telling the truth as a kid is one of the worst feelings ever

#it happened a few times with teachers at my primary school #i still remember the frustration and sadness i felt #because you're this little like 7 year old #and you feel powerless and embarrassed #ugh #primary school was a weird time for me #thanks catholic primary school you're one of the reasons I'm an atheist now #one time a kid lied saying i scribbled on a page of a bible #and because i was this scared and confused little kid i lied and said i did #and the teacher dragged me to the assistant headteacher's room #and ignored me when i tried to tell the truth #the assistant headteacher made me sit in the room with a rubber (eraser) and told me to remove the scribble from the page #i sat there for minutes trying to rub it away and started crying because it wouldn't disappear #she told me to just keep going #i don't remember what happened after #but i thought about it years later and realised that the scribble was probably in pen which was why ut didn't come off #so yeah maybe i do have minor religious trauma actually #i remember at one point and got sat down by some teachers and told that i should just tell the truth and not lie about being guilty #(i still don't know why i lied about that)#i can't remember if that was connected to this incident thought #but yeah that was fucking horrible i still remember how hysterical i felt when the scribble wouldn't disappear #after rubbing the paper with the eraser desperately for whst felt like ages

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summerfullofsnow · 4 months

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yeah lmao i can't fucking do this anymore. sprite annoys me too much. zee annoys me too much. the mom and salmon annoy me too much. the only one who doesn't annoy me is first. i feel like he's the only one acting like a normal person. maybe i'll binge the rest of the episodes when they're all out but like... i'm seeing spoilers for this weeks episode and... why is this still a thing we're doing...

#also! is anyone ever going to confront the mom or does everyone just keep pretending this is a completely normal thing to do to your kids??#idk all of the characters have been so frustrating for like 5 episodes now #the mikejack drama is so confusing #about twins but i'm actually just going to remove this from the tag #p

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thomine · 8 months

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What do you think are the biggest influences on your writing? -Mimikyu

i like this question! it really got me thinking. thanks @andromeda-nova-writing <3

dreamology by lucy keating was probably the first ever book i read twice and i pulled an all-nighter to read it a second time immediately after i finished it. i wouldn't say the book's writing is amazing, nor would i praise the romance, but i was hooked. the problem presented in the story was unrealistic, but as an avid dreamer myself, i was curious to know where this problem led the protagonists, because, in a sense, reading about the protagonists’ journey resulted in some sort of… catharsis.

it has been years since i read that book (i never touched it after returning it to the library) and the plot is fuzzy, but i won't forget the feeling it spurred. i guess that was the seed that grew the philosophy in me that stories had more impact than pure wish-fulfilment and fantasizing. that has been my core for… most of the stories i tell on this blog, and i hope the vibes reach across to my readers!

as for writing style, or how i write, i'm not quite sure. there was no writer whose style particularly stood out to me. (although writing style is probably not something i focus on hence my indifference…) since writing has grown to be very personal to me, the way i write is just… influenced by many things. by what i read on tumblr, the news, my homework, etc… i take it all in and spit them out in garbled paragraphs.

i feel like… the biggest thing that impacts my style is the rules i have when writing. like head hopping for example. it's something i try to avoid. or the rule to minimise repeating words (unless absolutely necessary or to prove a point or it is a noun). these rules come from books i read about writing.

#sloth mail #andromeda nova writing #i heard donna tart was good & i have the goldfinch for free since like. june. but i hvnt started reading it #took 3 months to read a book (which i skipped some parts btw) so like i don't read a lot right now #i use my free time to read & write fanfiction idk if i should be proud of that LOL #i feel im not picky when it comes to writing style #except once a (published) author head hops i'm out of there LOL. and also if there is too much purple prose #i'm too dumb to understand purple prose so it just confuses then frustrates me HAHAHA #long post #i fear my close friends irl can recognise me from this post alone bc i could not shut up abt the book HAHAH

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mvncesa · 5 months

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just realized earlier, after literal fucking years, that decker uses not only his own military training but also the way wolves hunt/fight in the wild during the fight scene of his episode and I’m going to scream

#( tell me to stop posting ; ooc. )#a nature documentary but it’s just my crazy rambling about the werewolf <3 #but sb already pointed out that he uses his training in the fight (using his surroundings & pointed blows to their knees/legs and such)#but also … one of the ways that wolves hunt is by keeping prey moving and making them over exert themselves before going for the kill …#and he played on the fact that the younger enemy werewolf #was less experienced and more cocky/impulsive which lines up #with how . in many species . older & more experienced animals will win against the younger & more clumsy ones <3 #I’m just so fascinated by him … I want to study him for science …#but now i'm thinking of him pulling this type of shit in a fight / on a mission because like ...#him keeping the enemies moving . getting them exhausted or confused/frustrated .#maybe 'herding' them into a spot where he has the upper-hand too <3

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mxgyver · 1 year

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tw/cw: negative body talk? (let me know if i need to add) this post will be deleted eventually anyways i just needed to get this out

shopping as plus-sized/mid-sized/larger woman is lowkey a nightmare. i just want to look cute and try to feel cute because I don't always like how my body looks!!! yet all the options we have are dresses that are kinda cute, but the silhouette isn't flattering or the patterns are just... not it. like I'm trying to do a little online black friday shopping as a Treat™️ and although I love ASOS the dresses are a little disappointing :( that or the clothing items are waaay more expensive than the "straight sizes" and it's like??? these are literally the same style and article of clothing why tf are you charging an arm and a leg more for a little extra fabric and time??? it's fucking stupid. that or I'll see something that I think is really cute, but the sizes cut off right before mine 🤪 size-inclusive my ass. anywho, if anyone has some decent suggestions, hit your girl up!

#anywho this is why i stick to just wearing tshirts all of the time :-)#it's the only thing i feel comfortable in especially w/ how large my chest it #i'm still in the process of finding a plastic surgeon for a reduction but i got discouraged the last time i checked because #they said you needed to be under a certain bmi (fucking stupid imo) in order to get it done #and that just... hit me at a low point #like yes because trying to lose weight is going to magically make my tig ole bitties that i've had since high school #when i was like 20 pounds lighter... any smaller 🙄#like yes i've definitely gained weight and sometimes that fucks with my psyche a little #but it's just a number & i'm not trying to let it run my life and how i feel??#anywho i hope y'all are having a good friday 💗#i'll feel fine in a little bit i'm going to go watch youtube or browse more clothing stores #sierra speaks #tbd #side note: i'm feeling fine mentally right now!! just super frustrated with the relationship between fashion & being larger than the “norm”#honestly looking at myself in the mirror half-naked from all angles before getting dressed is kinda nice #sometimes i'll be like damn my butt looks good or sheesh watch out for the curves!!#it's confusing & frustrating going back and forth from feeling pretty good about my body #to feeling like i just don't want to even give my body a single thought ya know #but hey! progress is not a linear thing!#i debated on whether or not to post this bc as i started typing more tags i was like hmmm i'm feeling okay about this #but whatever i guess lmaooo #enough rambling in the tags though #i'll catch y'all out there

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ratcandy · 1 year

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the day has arrived where i got irritated enough with a professor to email and Politely Ask why I didn't do as well as I thought I did on an assignment and having to grit my teeth and hope none of my underlying passive aggression is shining through

#clamtalk #the grade wasn't even bad I just got frustrated with the criticisms left on it #because this class has had that more than once . Weird confusing criticisms that confuse me and leave me Irritated #the first time I just went whatever . who cares #but now I'm like Hi Professor. Explain.#I don't understand. Help me understand so I know how I'm meANt to APPEASE YOU #NOthing is ever gOOD enough and I need you to tell me Why.#I already was upset with this class because what I THOUGHT was a debate class turned out to be a Philosophy course in disguise #but good lird man. I am ticked off

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 2 years

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sometimes i'll watch a commentary vid on yt talking about 'toxic tumblr culture' and what not, and i'll just be bemused about some of the things they talk about, and most of the comments will be other people who are like 'yeah i remember this side of tumblr' and maybe i've just been in a cocoon on here for the past 10 years, but honestly i barely know any of the things they're talking about lol

#personal #like this isnt me saying i havent noticed some bad things on this site because oh BOY #but the way they talk about certain communities and stuff #that are now re-emerging on places like tiktok or twitter i'm like huh wait what what did i miss??#it's honestly like some of the 'insane tumblr moments' y'all talk about on here i was just completely oblivious to pfft #like even dashcon which happened when i was still blogging a lot on here #i barely remember seeing much about and was v confused by the ballput memes for literally weeks lol #idk lol...#i suppose what i'm saying is that social media is kinda what you make it #and seeing some youtubers blaming tumblr for these harmful communities when it was really only a section of this site is frustrating lol #i would say tho a vid that mina le did about a certain kind of 'tumblr girl' (one i hadnt actually heard of btw)#was rly interesting because she went beyond just the webbed site and explained the history of the trope #idk idk i think i'm just sick of everyone not on tumblr for complaining about this site #when for me it has honestly been one of the most fun and loving socials #ignore my ramblings lol

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astrxealis · 2 years

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its weird how i feel bcs i dont actually really /hate/ genshin now but. the stuff that surrounds it pisses me off, i def don't /love/ it anymore, and ?? but ?? idk man

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#skdhwkjd ask to tag! idk if anyone doesnt want to see posts like this & what tag works D':#its weird bcs i like the characters still! i just say & think that i dont like them anymore but tbh i still do #but theres sm surrounding the game i dont like ... in & out of the game. idk even how to explain #and i dont really need to ik but i want to qwq hmm...#i dislike g/enshin. but. i don't hate it (kind of do but i think its more on the Frustrated than Hate side?)#hmmmm hmmmmm i want to understand how i feel but its difficult. thats how it really is fr tho!#it's confusinf bcs it gives me a bad taste in my mouth (not like. literally. but yeah) but. hey i still like it! but also no.#and its really complex bcs . there are really a lot of stuff that surround how i feel abt it negatively and positively #trying to just not be bothered w all of it but w the kind of person i am (someone who feels a lot) its pretty hard #itll get better as i grow older and my brain matures more so the best i can do now is just try to keep it in moderation :O #confusion!! but i'm doing well rn so i'll focus on stuff better to put my attention on rn >_<

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sysig · 2 years

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Well that’s one less up arrow key :/