#no need to call me and my one hundred character playlists out like that
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After ten years of not writing fanfiction, Baldurs Gate 3 has me in a chokehold. Inspired by one of the songs Halsins VA Dave Johnson put into his Halsin playlist, i made this. If you want the full experience listen to "I want to be your only pet" by Bombay Bicycle Club.
The whole playlist ist gold to be honest, so if you haven't do check that out.
The Tav is based on my Character Òrfhlaith (say it like Orla) who started as a Sorcerer/Bard and respecc. into Sorcerer/Paladin. For the sake of the story, the Tav is not named and only described with she/her pronouns and the title songbird.
English is not my first language, so if you find any spelling errors or grammatical mistakes, please do point it out.
I Want to be your only pet (I want to let go and forget)
Paring: Halsin x female!Tav (Halsin POV)
Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Yearning.
If you prefer Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55315462
Warnings: Mentions of past Trauma, sight violence, explicit description of blood, hinted panic attack, explicit sexual thoughts. Minord DNI!
Description:
“My Bear, my bear. My sweet, sweet Bear. I will protect you. I will see you safe. You have nothing to fear as long as you are with me. And if I cannot promise you anything, I promise you this: You are safe with me.”
Little snippets of Halsin learning to let down his guard around Tav and his every growing yearning through Act I- III.
After the group freed him from the Goblin Camp, which was honestly a miracle in itself, they went on to save the Grove. Halin still could not believe it. After all the moments worrying, hoping, praying he would find a way to ward off all harm, it was done. The Grove was preserved and on the way to begin anew, whilst the Tieflings were on their way to Baldurs Gate.
Not that he would call it safe in any way. Even if he wished them a happier ending, he feared for their lives on the road to the city. Halsin prayed that Sylvanus would watch over the group of refugees. Especially whenever he thought about them having to pass through the shadow cursed lands on their own.
When they finished saying their goodbyes, Halsin asked permission to stay at camp. In his heart he knew that they would need his help to pass through the shadow curse. After all, he had seen it put into place, living with its weight for over a hundred years. If his knowledge could help them towards their goal, he would be glad for it.
Their way would be long and traveling with them would mean leaving the grove behind but for all that it was worth he was relieved to give up the title of Archdruid; it had clung to his shoulders long enough.
If he was being honest, he never was really good at it. Sure enough, he understood enough of politics and leadership to keep everything running, but it teared at him. Every nag and every whisper a shred of himself fell away. People like Nettie made it bearable, but he knew that due to his position there was a distance between them that could not be bridged. So he quietly yearned for nature's sweet caress again, when he would run out in the early morning hours his paws on the soft, wet ground, looking for berries and honey. Hunting at night. Unburdened from the limitations, being Archdruid gave him. No, he was not sad at all, to let all that go. and Francesca would lead the Druids to a new beginning. Remind them of the true intentions they should strive for.
The first days in camp were truly magical, though so very different than the hundred years before: Being able to enjoy the sunbeams on his face, the crisp air of morning, knowing that no one would ask him to lead the way. No one to depend on his judgment and whisper about his decisions in the hidden corners, when they thought he would not hear them.
The people in camp gave him space to go after his day, not wanting his leadership nor needing it. They shared their meals with him and though some eyed him suspiciously, no one bothered him. Mostly he was left to ponder over the shadow curse and the illithid infection.
Though she came to him every now and then. Halsin could tell that she was the leader of their, rather chaotic, crew. When she spoke, they listened. Some rather … reluctantly at the beginning. But nevertheless, they accepted her plans and did what they could to support each other on the road. And she was patient with them in return. At least more patient than most of the people he knew. Even when she had to end the quarrels between them seemingly every other night, she only used harsh words in situations deserving of them.
That did not mean that she was above frustrations: One time, after a particularly bad fight between Gale and Astarion (the rogue accused the brown haired man of having stolen a copy of one of his books to eat it, telling him to use his own damn library for dinner) where they nearly set the campground on fire, she had set them straight sternly, her brow furrowing, using a surprising colorful vocabulary.
Halsin admired her vigor to go on, no matter how bad her group returned at night. Often she would go to every person in camp chatting for a few moments, her face still swollen and bloody. Most of the time, she would swiftly discard her armor and put on some (relatively) clean clothes, yet sometimes she only undid the heaviest part of her armor, chucking it away carelessly, as she went on to greet the first person. She asked them about their day, offering them counsel if needed. Every time she also appeared at his side at the end of her round. Her eyes shining with a warmth that he could only describe with a warm summer's evening.
He came to like the routine. The few first nights she would ask about his comfort and share a few kind words with him. Later, when they neared the shadow cursed lands, she requested advice trying to find the best route. While he explained she listened intently, nodding while he was mapping the ways and when he finished, she thanked him for his words before she left. It was nice. Not having to answer for every decision that was made, but his words being heard and acknowledged. It made him feel warm.
After that she returned to her usual routine. Asking him about his well being with a soothing voice, smiling at him like the fresh morning sun. One particular evening, after she left, Halsin could not help but keep thinking about the way she leaned her head when she was listening. Or how her eyes focused when she was mulling over ideas.
He found her attractive, he did not need to deny it. But the way his attention seemed to stick to her, like a fly on a honeypot, made him uneasy. There was a time and place for such thoughts and he did not believe the current situation to be one of those. So he stuffed the thoughts of her laugh and her eyes far away and carried on.
Halsin heard her sing, one time at camp. Wyll was sharing a story about the fine dances back in Baldurs Gate and bards that could induce you with whatever feeling they pleased, with just a few strokes of their instruments. The Warlock recalled the way one particularly skilled bard sang a ballad full of yearning and heartache, that he never heard again. Halsin heard her surprised exclamation, telling the horned man excitedly that she knew that song by heart. Wyll had politely asked her to sing it for them, only if she did not mind. And she did not mind at all.
Her voice sounded a bit coarse at the beginning (there were not many occasions to sing anymore) but soon her voice unfolded like a flower petal in bloom. Halsin could have sworn to Sylvanus, her voice sounded like a songbird, both sweet and rich. Soon she was weaving a net with each syllable, entangling the listeners with her honey voice. Turning his head he could see entranced eyes, some humming along softly and tapping their feet. A gentle breeze passed through them as the song ended. Gentle quiet settled over camp. For a moment everyone seemed to be lost in their own thoughts before Karlach asked for another song, excitement barely contained. With a glint in her eyes, the songbird began to sing a folkish song. One that was easier to follow and more well known, stomping along to the beat. And soon enough a few of them joined in. All in all it went on to be a surprisingly jolly evening. From his spot on a thick branch, Halsin watched them sing and dance around, grabbing onto the unwilling campmates pulling them along, much to their pretended dismay.
She had suddenly stood before him then. Hand outstretched, eyes shining like the sun itself had made its home there. With his heart pounding in his chest, Halsin stared up to her.
“Will you be joining us?” She asked in a melodic tone. He wished for nothing more than to keep her voice around for the rest of the night.
It would have only taken him a word. One word and he could have joined their merry dancing, their laughter. But he did not dare to. Not with the memory of the Shadow Curse hanging on his shoulders, whispering every single failure he could count into his ear. Not with Thaniel lost, not with the unspoken promise of saving him or die trying. With a heart so heavy it could drag him right into the ground, Halsin shook his head. “Another time. But thank you for your invitation. It is greatly appreciated.” Her smile faltered. He could have sworn to see a flicker of concern in her eyes. With a pang of regret the Druid tried to say something soothing- He did not mean to steal the sun from her eyes.
As he was trying to find his words, she smiled again. “All is well, my friend. You take your rest and tomorrow we will see to the Shadow Curse.”
Her eyes laid intently on him, unfaltering. He could swear he saw a different kind of fire there. “We will see it broken and Thaniel freed once again. I swear." The way she said it filled Halsin with hope. She seemed so sure of it.
Before he could say anything in response, someone from the group (he could swear it was Shadowheart, rare laughter spilling from her lips) was pulling her away from him again. He watched her pick up her laughter full of sunshine again, holding the hand of the young cleric. Under the sea of stars she radiated light and warmth, turning in a circle, stumbling over her feet and catching herself, before holding onto someone elses hand. Halsin wondered how it would feel to catch her, to make her laugh and bring the light into her eyes. Holding her close to his chest as he traced the rivers of starlight on her skin. To bite her tender skin, taste her, devour her. Halsin inhaled sharply, willing the golden sparks on his skin away. He reminded himself that such were no thoughts to have. Now was not the time to relax and to come undone. Not before he had freed Thaniel and lifted the Shadow curse. This was his duty before everything else. She would help him. That was a small relief in the suffocating fear that had nested itself in his heart so very long ago.
With a sigh he looked at the wood he was chipping away at. He had to be alone for a moment. Grabbing his utensils, he stood up, swiftly waving goodnight towards the group as his feet carried him back to his bedroll. Staring up towards the stars, he wondered if he should carve a dancing bird.
After they saved Thaniel and killed Ketheric Thorm the land bloomed once more, roots emerging from the earth tasting the sun's kiss once again.There were no words in the world that could describe how he felt then. Everything he worked for, all that he wished for over 100 years, came to life. Just like that. The land that had clawed at them mere hours ago, now flourished in the light of the sun, reaching for it like they were drowning. Halsin felt like the weight on his shoulders had lifted a bit. Years of feeling like there was not enough air, now seemed to ease, as every inhale came a little easier to him. For a moment he let himself rest and gazed at the scenery around him, when a high pitched yelp ripped him out of his thoughts.
Startled, he turned towards the sound: Karlach had gathered everyone in reach of her in her arms, squeezing them tight to her chest. His Songbird laughed as she was swept up in the embrace of the tiefling woman, laughing freely.
He cherished the starry eyed look she had, as she looked back on the land, her chest swelling with pride. There was seldom a moment when she looked so full of wonder, so carefree.While she smiled often before the others, when no one looked, her eyes turned grim, as a heaviness Halsin recognized all too well took hold of them. Shoulders sagging as if the burden of the world sat on her shoulders. It was a relief to see her unburdened, even if only for a moment.
When his gaze lingered on her face a second too long, their eyes met and time seemed to still, nothing existing besides them for a moment. Then she shot the elf a questioning look. Shame bloomed in his chest, as Halsin had realized he got caught staring like a fool and then kept looking at her still. Suddenly he wished to make himself as small as a mouse. But to his surprise she merely reached over to him and pulled him into the hug
“You are officially one of us now.” She said sneaking her free arm around his chest, squeezing him towards her. At least he thought it was her arm.
“Next time join us earlier.” So she must have thought his stare stemmed from lacking inclusion in the group. Halsin hoped, she would not find out the real reason he had been staring.
That evening the group celebrated once again. It was rather modest, as the weeks before had depleted their ressources greatly. Still, the relief after surviving moonrise tower seemed to give them new energy. Now the whole group seemed to buzz with excitement for the next chapter to come. As they drank and talked, Halsin could feel himself relax more than he had in years before- His Pipe pressed between lips, letting out a puff of fragrant smoke and watching it swirl into the bright night sky, whittling tools in hand again, chipping away at it slowly. The ground under him was soft and warm, bustling with life, ready to begin anew.
He chuckled as the songbird watched her in an armwrestling competition with Karlach, Wyll and Lae’zel on the side, discussing their forms, throwing in a bit of advice every now and then. Even if she was strong, Karlach bested the songbird easily, apologizing the whole time. Halsin could swear he saw a coin switch hands in the background. Whoever did not bet on Karlach was foolish, that woman would best everyone in camp, including himself. As Gale and Astarion started to bicker again, the songbird stood up and shooed them to do “something useful for once” with a grin. She loved them, he could see it clear as day. Seeing her made his chest uncomfortably tight.
Later that evening she came to him, out of breath, sweat glistening on her skin. She had been playing with the dog and the owlbear again. Eunning away with Scratches' ball before getting tackled, when she did not manage to run fast enough. She pointed her finger to the spot next to him.
“Is this seat taken?” She inquired, her skin flushed and eyes twinkling.
He smiled. “ No. If you want to rest here for a while, you are more than welcome.” The elf shifted to the side, allowing her to sit down next to him. She quickly made herself comfortable on the floor and crossed her legs. Her gaze shifted to his hands, holding his piece of wood.
“Can you teach me how to whittle? Every time I see you, I wonder how you do it and … I thought that this night is as good as any to ask you. If that’s not too much to ask” her voice seemed to waver at the end.
Was she nervous? Halsin wondered if he was intimating her somehow. Before he spoke he softened his tone on instinct.
“I don’t know if there is much to say about it. Most people tend to perceive it as boring, anyway. But nevertheless I’d be honored to show you, if you really want to.”
She shrugged. “Well most people can stuff it.” A huff escaped her lips when she saw the surprised look Halsin gave her.
“You do well to know what you like: They cannot take that away from you. No matter how much they sneer about it, this is yours. And besides: whittling is a hobby as good as any other.” He contemplated her words for a moment.
“Sometimes I think people look at me and think my feelings can’t be hurt” Halsin stilled for a moment “Thank you for your words. I appreciate them greatly.” She shot him a smile as the elf picked up his utensils again. While he was showing her what to use and how to begin, she listened attentively, asking for clarification a few times. When she leaned over, he could feel her warm breath on his skin. Hastily he cleared his throat and went on to explain.
“For me the vision of what I’ll carve comes when I’m already in the process. But for the first time, it would be a smart choice to already have an idea in mind.” He handed her a piece of wood, which she started turning in her hands over and over again, contemplating. Holding up his own work so he could show her.
“You could start with a spoon if you’d to begin very simple. Or if you would rather enjoy something artistic I could show you a fox or a bi-”
“A Bear.” Taken aback, Halsin looked over to her. She did not falter, as she continued. “It is you who is showing me how to do it, no? I met you as a bear the very first time. And …” She hesitated. “You do inspire me, you know? So, I would like to do a bear.”
By Silvanus, the bear would like to do you , he thought. Alone the notion that she was inspired by him of all people. Did she even know how extraordinary she was?
But that was a thought he would keep to himself. So instead he said: “A Bear it is then.”
He showed her the outlines of the piece and what she would have to expect, while she was whittling. Soon they both worked in silence, elbows touching every now and then. Halsin sneaked a glance at her face: She made her focused face again, eyes solely on the wood in her hand, crouching over it, trying to find the best position for her blade. The tall elf chuckled and looked at his work again. His wooden bird came along just fine. The upper side of the outstretched wings was already apparent with its head thrown towards the sky, beak open as if right in the middle of a song. He wondered if he should carve the legs to be standing solidly on the ground or rather ready to set to the sky, when Galel came to them, asking for support on “urgent matters”.
“Thank you for your time.” came her voice from next to him. She gently brushed the shavings from her legs before standing up. “Will keep showing me how to whittle? I had a lot of fun,” her eyes held a cheeky twinkle “even if some people will call me boring now.”
With a short laugh he responded: “Well I hope you do well to know that you can be boring with me anytime.”
“Well. Until we meet here again, to be boring together.” She cackled and waved him goodbye, walking alongside the talking wizard. As Halsin watched her leave, he wondered why his chest was so tight again.
Sighing, he gathered the wood chips on one pile, cradling the rough wood between his big hands before discarding it.
It was not that he wanted to harbor her for himself. Far from it. She was a beacon of light in these dark times, one that everyone was sure to enjoy having around. And she seemed to like the company of her friends so much. But still his heart betrayed him. He would have loved to sit alone with her a moment longer, her light breathing next to him and their skin touching gently.
Maybe she would lean over again, so he could smell her hair. In the short moments when the wind blew just right, her smell carried over to him: fire and berries. He wondered how she managed to smell like that. Maybe he would have asked her about it. Maye she she would have accidentally brushed his hand and he would have gathered his courage, reaching for it, holding it tight.
A shudder ran through him. Maybe it was better that she left. He wondered how much longer desire in him would have stayed silent, when it wanted nothing more than to hear her breath coming quicker, tasting the sweetness of her skin, telling him that she needed him like a song-
He shushed himself, swatting at his thoughts like they were flies. He picked up the wood she left for the next time. Weighing it in his hands, he looked at it. A Bear she wanted to whittle. He chuckled sadly. As if she had not been whittling away at his guard for such a long time.
Whilst on their way to Baldurs Gate, she came to his tent every evening and they calmly whittled away. Most of the time, both of them sat in silence. But sometimes they would share a few words, talking about their interests and stories, sharing comfort in their presence. One quit evening, when the others were gathering some supplies on the road, leaving the camp in a state of unusual calm, she opened up to him about her insecurities. Telling him about her experience as the group leader, comparing it to her wildly different life before.
In the spur of the moment Halsin asked her if she wanted to go back after this was all done. The whittling stopped, while her brow furrowed. For a second he was afraid that he overstepped. Was ist too personal? Did it bring up troubling memories for her?
But she laid her hand on his arm and found his gaze. “Actually I prefer it now. Even in these dire times.,” in her eyes a sudden bitterness pooled. ”I got all of you now, after all. That is more than I had before.”
As her gaze shifted towards her workpiece again, Halsin noticed her hand lingering on his skin before pulling away to adjust her grip on the wood. The spot on his skin her hand had rested upon, felt empty now. He turned his head towards his own project again, not wanting to inquiry any further.
It was peaceful for a few days. So peaceful that he nearly forgot all the horrors that the world entails. Soon they reached Rivington. Their excitement for the city had already turned to anxiety as they reached the city gates, being denied entry as all the refugees were. For Halsin this Situation was unbearable. Seeing all these people in little makeshift tents, sleeping on the cold hard floor, having barely enough food to feed all the children. hated the city for its uncaring nature. Seeing all of the city's misdeeds he wondered if they felt any shame at all. All this time he held himself to such high standards, as he tried again and again to be deserving of the title as Archdruid. The leaders of this city could leave a legion to starve right before the city gates and be praised for it.
Since they took Yenna into their camp, he tried his best to keep his composure. The young girl was already scared enough and did not need to see the adults around her losing their nerves too. So he tried his very best to appear calm and collected, while a storm raged under his skin, growing stronger every day. One hungry face at a time.
The final breaking point approached in front of the circus gates. Halsin had seen the posters advertising the circus time and time again. A clown they all seemed to be excited for. Telling him about the jokes he would tell and all the attractions that could be seen.
He did not truly understand the concept of that yet but he was willing to try, if the group decided to visit.
But in a cruel twist of fate, it seemed they did not need to go to the circus but rather it came to them. When it started to dawn, his group decided to pack up for the night, making their way down the roads of Rivington. A rather big crowd had formed cheering a sturdy human man on as he cracked his whip, forcing the animals to dance on small stands, as a middle aged woman played a fast song on a wooden flute. His blood ran hot through his veins as anger seemed to swallow him whole. He could feel the bear in him stir, ready to attack and tear the flesh of this disgusting person's bones. The noise around him made him nauseous.
Halsin didn’t know why the fighting started. One moment he was thinking about ripping and screaming and the other he saw his songbird emerge from the crowd, weapon in hand, fighting a cloaked figure. Jumping forth as fur emerged from his skin, he did not care who started it at all. He was glad for the fight.
After the battle was won, Halisin stayed as a bear, wishing for the comfort this shape brought him. His strong body shifting on his paws, every smell more intense but also his mind quieted a little. Everything seemed more manageable like this. But now even as a bear his heart pounded and his breathing did not seem to slow. As Halsin stood still, he noticed that his body was shaking like leafs in the wind, the memories of long bygone times whispering in his mind, demanding to be seen, no matter how much he seemed to push them away. He growled and made his way back to camp with the others. He needed to be away from everything for a while. No one should see him losing control like that.
He did not care what looks he became as he nearly ran through camp, ignoring his name being shouted. There were only his feet, pounding on the ground, coming quicker with every moment until he was sprinting into the first spot of trees he could see, not stopping until his feet reached water. The Lake. Exhaling he pressed his snout into the water only coming up for air when he felt like his lungs were about to explode. He did not want to be alone like this. But also he could not go back, have them ask questions about why. Especially when he did not seem to know either.
A thump behind him alerted him prompting his muscles to tense on instinct. He sprung around, jaws open to expose his sharp teeth. She stopped in her tracks, carefully holding up her hands.
“Halsin? Do you need help? Are you hurt?” Her voice was gentle but Halsin detected an urgency behind it. Looking for a reaction, she slowly stepped close to him, kneeling down an arms length away, her right hand outstretched towards him and stilled. Uncertain his eyes flickered between her and the trees. The light had already vanished, casting her silhouette in blue and gray hues, as she silently waited for him to breach the distance. He realized that she was leaving him the choice: To either come to her or run away if he felt the need.
Desperation clawed at him. Why did he even hold back? What was it good for in the end? She was here now, offering comfort. He would be a fool to deny her. So he took the last step towards her and laid his face into her hand. A sigh escaped her lips, that he could only describe as relieved. Soon enough her fingers started carefully stroking him. Minutes passed, his breathing coming slightly slower than before, his mind gradually clearing from the fog of panic he was lost in.
“Oh my sweet friend.” she whispered, her steady voice not much about a whisper. Her right hand was still on the side of his face, gently caressing him.
He did not want to bear the burden anymore, to shoulder it all alone. All the memories of hardship and loss, the memory of himself sitting behind cold and rotting Goblinbars and, before that, behind a closed bedroom door, his eyes tracing the pattern of the carvings on the door time and time again until they burned themselves behind his closed eyes.
It broke him when he saw the eyes of the animals. He knew the look all too well.Some of them had no hope of escaping anymore. Those who did looked like they paid greatly for their resistance: Time and time again under the cruelty of their so called masters. One day even those who held on the longest would give in. They would become the broken puppets the Circus desired. Their fur dulled, their scales spotty. Dancing to some people's badly played lute. Carving patterns into the iron rods. He could have sworn that they would carve and carve like he did-
Halin shuddered and pulled his fangs back. If he would not be in his bear form already, it surely would have been broken free by now. He could taste the blood in his mouth, could free it dripping down on the cold forest floor. Halsin wanted to pull back. He did not want her to see him like this, afraid and grappling for control. He felt his trembling in the trees around them.
When her other hand appeared on his head, he finally looked up. His eyes adjusted in the dark to really look at her. After the fight, she had thrown the upper half of her armor away and traded it for a dirty shirt which by now had been stained with no small amount of blood. With her arms outstretched towards him, he was able to see the smears and stains that appeared blue and purple on her skin and hair. Blood both from her own wounds and those inflicted on others were running over her skin like a river delta. Even though she smelled like blood and sweat and leather, the wind carried the faintest whiff of berries- It startled him. After all this her hair still smelled like herself. It was absurd.
Halsin wondered if he began imagining things. Nevertheless, his tension eased a bit as he allowed himself to step an inch closer, nostrils flared. She smelled lovely, more now than ever.
“Let me help you. My gentle bear, let me heal your wounds.” She whispered again, her hands stroking his fur, beckoning him closer.
My Bear, she had said. If his mind had been clearer, he would have asked her about it. But right now Halsin gave in and pressed his head even harder into her hands. He did not want to think anymore. He wanted to relax into her warm touch and forget.
She pulled him close, guiding his head onto her lap, as she sat on the stained earth below them. Halsin let himself fall to the floor, his strained limbs protesting. The Bear groaned as he adjusted himself to laying on the floor, without bothering his wounds too much. As soon as he stilled, one of her hands started to caress his neck, the other gently touching his snout. It had stopped dripping blood, but he tasted it still on his tongue. He winced again, wishing to wash the foul smell of these people away.
"Shhh." She hummed “ It’s alright. You’re alright. Let me take care of you.” Her hands suddenly stilled. “Can you show me where you are hurt?”
In my heart he wanted to say. But the bear was not able to speak and he was glad for it, his treacherous thoughts would not reach her ear. Instead he forced himself to turn himself on his side, so she could see his stomach. His already dark fur was clumped with strands of blood and dirt, in the night it seemed to be almost black. When he had pushed himself on his hindlegs to strike at his opponents, his soft underpart was exposed just long enough to strike him.
In the darkness she reached over, her hand already glowing. Bowing her head onto his, her forehead silently connecting with him, she whispered sweet nothings into his ear. Halsin felt her magic on his body as it encouraged flesh to mend and skin to heal. To him her energy felt like hope in new beginnings. Like the soaring of wings. It felt like being home again. Almost felt like the relief he felt after they saved Thaniel. She truly was his sun, with the way her entire being seemed to emit warm light, his beacon that guided him through the darkest of times. Everywhere she went, it felt summer had begun anew.
Only moments passed until his body was healed, but her hands stayed on his fur long after it. Several minutes went by in silence, with only their breathing filling the space between them. After a while she groaned and repositioned her leg, wincing. Guilt exploded in his chest as he looked up, slightly pulling away from her, reading her expression. She gave him a tired smile, bloodied lips stretching to reveal her dimples. Halsin realized how exhausted she really looked, not only from the battle but rather carrying the weariness of all the weeks in her eyes. And still she went to care for him, before all others.
Halsin wanted nothing more than to keep her to himself, to shield her from all her sorrows and to be held by her in return: To find comfort in each other. The desire to hold her tight seemed to burn through his chest, gnawing his way up until he felt like he could choke. Who was he to ask anything of her? He tried pulling away from her completely, but her hand on his back tightened
“Don’t go away. Please. I don’t want… “ She trailed off. Halsin saw a flicker of anxiety on her face. “Stay, please. Just for a moment.”
She let go, stretching her arms out wide in front of him. An Invitation. Halsin noticed that her eyes held the same request, like the day she asked him to dance and like so many nights before It would only take him so little to accept.
He forced himself to push his worry down, as the Bear pushed his head into her hand. In an instant she pulled him close into her chest, pressing her face into his fur. The bear inhaled sharply as her arms tightened around him in a silent plea. It felt like she tried to wrap her entire body around him.
Carefully he lifted one of his blood-soaked paws and wrapped himself around her, gently pulling her into his chest. Now she nearly laid on him, her body rising and falling quickly with his ragged breath. It still was very fast.
As if reading his thoughts she murmured: “Breathe with me.”
Pushing himself back on his hind legs, he pulled her even further onto him, which earned him a soft laugh from her, and rested his head carefully on her back, observing her steady breathing. Trying to detect a pattern, he started to exhale and inhale in rhythm with her, his heart slowing down little by little. Relief washed over him, gentle but strong, like an ocean wave that came upon the shore. A part of him wondered if she knew how much this calmed him, breathing together as the gentle night breeze carried it away.
Hasin felt her hand begin to draw patterns on his chest, trying to untangle the knots in his fur whenever her fingers catched a particularly bad one and finally closed his eyes. Nothing could coax him away from this moment, having her in his arms, her warmth seeping into his fur, holding a light within him that kept his sorrows at bay. If the world would have ended in this moment, he would not care for it.
After what felt like hours of peaceful silence, he felt her stir again. She hesitated for a moment but then turned her mouth towards his ear and spoke.
“My Bear, my bear. My sweet, sweet Bear. I will protect you. I will see you safe. You have nothing to fear as long as you are with me. And if I cannot promise you anything, I promise you this: You are safe with me.”
Halsin felt like his heart wanted to explode in his chest. Warmth began spreading in his body, sending a pleasant feeling into his exhausted body. My bear. The first time he heard the word could have been a mistake on his part, born of wishful thinking and the blood flowing from his wounds. But she said it again. And again. My bear. Oh to be hers indeed.
Halsin wished her to hold him like this every night, have her close, let her stroke his hair and tell him that there is nothing to worry about, like a prayer that only he could hear. To have her say that he is safe with her again and again until he started believing it again.
And he would swear to her that she is safe with him, promising it with every breath, kissing it into her skin. He would be pulling her in his arms softly as either elf or bear. Holding her and letting himself be held. Feeling her body against his, shielding her from harm. Halsin desperately wanted to worship her every inch, calling her all the wondrous things he could think of.
Showing her how much he needed her in any way possible, hearing her scream his name into the night, her moans just as beautiful as her songs. He longed to leave his mark upon her skin, to show everyone how desired she was, for nature had made her so very beautiful, inside and out. If she did not know by then that she was like the sweetest honey to him, he would make sure she knew every day and night.
He scolded himself for being selfish. But her words, the way she called him mine; he wondered if there was any possibility she could return his feelings after all. That she felt the same way he did, when she gazed at him. Why else would she call him my bear?
But uncertainty rang loudly in his ears. What would he do, if he was wrong about it? She called the others my friend and some even sweetheart. What if he misunderstood her intentions and she left him, disgusted by his brazen words? No, disgusted by him.
Then he would never be able to look at himself again. Only imagining that she could sneer at him and turn away hurt him beyond comprehension.
Tonight he could not muster the strength. Too sweet was her embrace, too comforting her words. And he was so tired of pretending he possessed strength that had left him years ago.
Nestling even further into her skin, he savored every second. He just wanted to breathe in her scent and pretend that his feelings were returned. Pretend that he was wanted the same way like he wanted her. Pretend that there were better days to come for him, where he could be himself with her. Building a safehouse for everyone who needed it so that no one would ever fear for their lives again. He imagined never carrying so much weight again.
But those were far away dreams. No, tonight Halsin could not shoulder the dark shroud of reality. Instead he vowed to ask her about it, to finally ask her if she felt the same. Tomorrow.
If he only knew, how much she yearned to do the same.
#bg3#halsin#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate halsin#baldur’s gate 3#baldurs gate 3#halsin x tav#halsin silverbough#halsin fanfiction#tav#honestly i had issues with my Tav at the beginning but she grew on me so quickly#The song options for her camp ballad are either Dream a little Dream of me or Down by the River#Still unsure#Maybe ill write a fic about that too but with her name and more fleshed out backstory
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So here’s a project I’ve not advertised at all.
No Requests: Live! From the Tavern is an Adult focused Edutainment series focused on discussing Art, Music, and Media. Each episode is broken up into segments that work together in a playlist including various other videos on Youtube. This means Music Videos, short films, and other video essays, curated together with extra commentary from the host of the show, Tavern Barz.
That’s a weird and unnecessarily complicated format, why are you doing this?
It’s really easy in this day and age to use Youtube videos as a replacement for other content. I mean, why watch a two hour movie when you can watch a 20 minute recap?
This is a bad habit. Critique is important aspect to a good media diet, but a diet consisting solely of critique misses the point completely. In order to talk about media, we must also experience it.
This format means we don’t directly compete with the art featured. Rather, Tavern Barz acts as a museum curator, and the other media in the playlists serve as the actual art itself. The original videos will get their view, and… as a nice little bonus, I get to avoid the copyright bots.
Why are you using a cartoon?
I mean, I’m an animator. I don’t know what else to tell you. Why does the Chocolate guy use chocolate when clay will last longer?
But also, I don’t really have any desire to host the show as myself. There’s a hundred and ten other Youtubers who will get on camera to talk about stuff, and like, I don’t have the room for that.
Besides, Tavern is a character distinct from me. As a writer, I have full control over the narrative I want to tell, and placing myself in the center of that just feels weird. Tavern’s allowed to act and be weird and hypocritical. Tavern is allowed to grow as a character in ways you can’t really depict through the lens of literal documentary filmmaking.
So that Cyclops character isn’t just your rantsona vtuber avatar?
I mean, in a very literal sense, Tavern is a Vtuber. They are a virtual character serving as the host for a real show on Youtube.
But Tavern’s also an OC with lore and a planned Story Arc. The pilot is admittedly pretty bare bones with all this, but I intent to incorporate more story elements as the series goes on.
Alright, so what’s the lore then?
Tavern Barz is the Cycloptic owner of the Tavern Barz Tavern, a fifth dimensional divebar thar exists all across Time and Space. After several eternities of service, Tavern thinks they know it all.
This is not true.
Is this project family friendly?
Not really. The main character is a bartender, so there's a lot of alcohol focus. Plus, a lot of the featured videos will also contain plenty of adult themes.
The pilot is pretty mild. There's some swearing, but nothing too serious. But the non original videos might have adult themes. I have some later episodes planned, including one focused on The Male Gaze, and in those cases, I can't in good conscience recommend these videos to minors.
All in all, I like to call the tone of the project comfortably adult. I'm not going out of my way to be edgy, but I'm also not censoring myself. If this were an actual TV series, it's probably be TV-14. Edgier than the Simpsons, not as edgy as Rick and Morty, so about the level of Futurama.
When will this project release?
April, 2024. As of the time of this writing, the first episode is basically finished except for the credits, but I also need sometime to compile my sources, write descriptions, and make some thumbnails, as well as advertise the project.
Follow Me on this Account if you wanna keep up with the project. You can also see my other links at https://norequestslive.carrd.co/
#no requests#animation#anime#indie animation#Vtuber#animated web series#character design#youtube#artists on tumblr#Tavern Barz#webtoon#original characters#Music#internet#social#web series#video essays#art theory#pbs#gif#popular culture#culture#visual#education#Edutainment#Adult-focused#Art discussion#Music discussion#Media discussion#Museum curator
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Leave Out a Cup For Me: An Amren Playlist
The Inner Circle is complete and I have finally conquered the tiny ancient one.
This was without a doubt the hardest playlist to make. Amren is tough for me, she's sort of a strange enigma. She's our look into the greater Fae world and beyond, she's a shrewd second-in-command and brilliant. But, like the cosmic entity she is, she can be cruel and condescending. So, that leaves me with the question; what does Amren sound like? For me, she sounds like a lot of gothic synths and Americana. I expect this playlist to be as divisive as her character. Either way, I hope you enjoy it! Meet me behind the cut!
Listen Here!
Apply-Glasser
If the walls were too thin
You would break in
If the walls were too thin
You would break right in
Out in the thunder
Opens my eyes wide
There is sound in my mind
Keeps me up all night
Fresh Blood-Eels
Whatever trepidation you may feel
In your heart, you know it's not real
In a moment of clarity
Summon an act of charity
You gotta pull me out of this mud
Sweet baby, I need fresh blood
Same Old Energy-Kiki Rockwell
It's your own damn fault, boy, you handed us the broom
Four hundred years ago, sayin' "You know what to do"
Yes sir, we do, beep beep, comin' through
Close your damn mouth, my man, I told you we flew
Rise up, oh, flame, come join the game
They started a frenzy, but we’ll take the blame
A bare chested dame who goes by no name
Their arsenal's empty, all they got is shame
Hot Gum-SOFIA ISELLA
Your teeth are on fire, do you notice? No
Your mouth is burning, do you notice? No
Your hair burns, my hair burns
Your skin burns, my skin burns
Do you feel anything? No
If I tell you what I’m thinking promise, you won’t tell yourself
If you tell me what you’re thinking, I swear I won’t tell myself
He’s on the ground, he’s on his knees, he’s a believer
He’s on the ground, he didn’t listen to the preacher
Lose Your Soul-Dead Man's Bones
I get up in the morning
To the beat of the drum
I get up to this feeling
Keeps me on the run
I get up in the morning
Put my dreams away
I get up, I get up, I get up again
Devil's Resting Place-Laura Marling
When you ask to drink of me I think out on the case
Look down to my aloe cup and take myself a taste
Bitterness is thick like blood and cold as a wind sea breeze
If you must drink of me, take of me what you please
I am loathe to say it's the devil's taste
I've been with the devil in the devil's resting place
Bad Ritual-Timber Timbre
There's a hat on the bed,the clock has stopped ticking
And nothing remotely romantic has been said
Let's not pass on the steps, let's take the season very easy
Let's take pills, saltwater, let's keep looking ahead
It's a bad, bad ritual
But it calms me down
In the Dark-Cathedrals
I can see you fall apart
You turn away and fade out of sight
But I hear you call in the night
Let it go, let me hold you this time
Lying in the hollows of your heart
I see you lying awake in your ride
I’ll be a spark in the sky
When you want it, I’ll be on the other side
Deep Green-Marika Hackman
Just because I love your skin
Doesn't mean I'll jump in
The water's clean and warm and green
I'm not allowed to swim
I'm scared of getting in
Pyre-Son Lux
We're wresting now from our own hands a future
Regret the flower of watered seed
Are we the ghosts that swarm about us?
We can begin
Thanatos-Soap & Skin
Ages of delirium
Curse of my oblivion
I swell without a scar
To the end of time
A shell without a star
At the end of time
I am not a woman, I'm a god-Halsey
I am not a woman, I'm a god
I am not a martyr, I'm a problem
I am not a legend, I'm a fraud
So keep your heart 'cause I already got one
TAGLIST: @aldbooks @bookofmirth @brieq @bagelfyre @c-e-d-dreamer @cursebrkr @darling-archeron @damedechance @gwyns @gimme-mor @harrysringss @highqueenmorrigan @talons-and-teeth @kataravimes-of-the-shire @krem-does-stuff @krem-has-a-mess @kingofsummer93 @lidiacervos @lucienarcheron @octobers-veryown @ofduskanddreams @panicatthenightcourt @queercontrarian @reverie-tales @asnowfern @spell-cleavers @separatist-apologist @wilde-knight @thesistersarcheron @thelovelymadone @the-lonelybarricade @ultadverb @vulpes-fennec @velidewrites @vanserrass @yazthebookish @mossytrashcan @bennylavasbuns @tuzna-pesma-snova @andrigyn @thecrispypotatochip @elvhendis @fieldofdaisiies @xtaketwox @popjunkie42-blog
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tuesday again 12/19/2022
shambling along towards the new year
listening
cotton heads by caravan palace. i think this has been on every spotify wrapped playlist ive ever had. soft and comforting in a way that’s hard for me to describe. this has been part of the background music in some of the softest times of my life, winter-warm and safe and solitary noodling around on some project that involves a lot of fiddling with tiny pieces on a desk. spotify
youtube
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reading
houston thrift stores are, predictably, awash with cowboy western novels. mostly it’s every louis l’amour or zane grey possible (no thanks)
jake logan’s SLOCUM AND THE YELLOWBACK TRAIL is number three hundred and seventy nine in the series, which is quite impressive. i am fascinated when a book attempts to transplant a cowboy into an urban environment so we’ll stick with it for a bit, despite a truly horrible sex scene describing a “rigid pole”. there were no onomatopoeia sex sounds which is both blessing and curse bc the intel SLOCUM gathered during this sex scene seemed like a completely different conversation totally unrelated to the sex he was having. she simply happened to come three times in three pages while telling him everything he needed for Next Location.
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watching
saw several very beautiful movies in the last two weeks, one of which i liked very much.
youtube
Experiment in Terror (1962, dir. Edwards) has one of my favorite Mancini-composed pieces of music but i had never seen the movie it was from. a neo-noir man with an asthmatic rasp puts pressure on a bank teller and her teen sister to rob the bank by terrorizing them through various means. however, despite successfully playing on a lot of Womanly Fears (unexpected phone calls, driving at night, being alone) the fbi. this is perhaps a bit snide since it is extremely good at keeping the tension up through most of the runtime, the leads all did a good job imo— a letterboxed reviewer pointed out the villain played by Ross Martin has a certain chameleon-like quality from scene to scene and it is really arresting, he pops up in some unexpected places to great effect. a well-shot movie, just a hair longer than i wanted it to be, i don’t think any movie could survive the hype i built up in my head after loving than mancini piece so much, and was not quite the vibe i was looking for on the afternoon i finished it.
dailymotion
in a different noir with an important scene during a baseball game, Stray Dog (1949, dir. Kurosawa). everything you could possibly say about this movie has already been said. mifune is such a fucking joy to watch as a somewhat hapless young cop with a bad case of the scruples. gets his fully loaded pistol pickpocketed on the tram, sending him hither and yon during a brutally hot summer tracking down every bullet. widely available for free. fucking beautiful work of art. deeply annoying when widely acclaimed movies are actually really good
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playing
nothing new to report, nothing i want to play has been a free epic game lately. very excited that a character ive been waiting for is dropping in genshin on…uhhhhh…tomorrow? she has sunglasses. she has a gunbrella. she can call in heavy cannon bombardment. she’s just so cute
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making
one of the purposes of the tuesdaypost is to remind myself to expand the selection of things i do and my brain partially feels like sludge bc of the time of year and partially bc i haven’t fucking done anything more complicated than scrambled eggs or cleaning things in like two weeks
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ROUND 1 / SIDE B / POLL 2
Esmeralda Poofenplotz x Alice Luoja ( @cantdanceflynn ) vs Pash x Illoma ( @floralprintshirts )
lyrics by The Amazing Devil (Battle Cries)
who makes up your ship?:
Esmeralda Poofenplotz(Canon Phineas and Ferb character(although I draw her differently from canon)) and Alice Luoja(Background character turned Phineas and Ferb oc)
why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:
THEY BASICALLY STARTED OUT AS TWO DUMBASS TOXIC AF TEENAGERS GOING TO EVIL SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER AND BEING THE TERRORS OF THE SCHOOL(POOFENPLOTZ BC SHES BIG ON BEAUTY AND WOULD BASICALLY DESTROY EVERYONE'S SELF ESTEEM AND ALICE BC. SHES WILLING TO KILL ANYONE WHO RLY FUCKS W HER), AND WHILE THEY ORIGINALLY HAD A RIVALRY IT GOT A LIL TOO HOMOEROTIC VERY QUICKLY AND THEY DON'T RLY KNOW HOW BUT THEY ENDED UP DATING. THEY ENDED UP, SURPRISE SURPRISE, RUINING EACH OTHER EVEN FURTHER THEN THE TWO OF THEM WERE ALREADY TRAUMATIZED!!!! A TYPICAL INTERACTION BETWEEN EM PRETTY MUCH WENT ALONG THE LINES OF POOFENPLOTZ POKING FUN AT SOMETHING ABOUT ALICES BODY OR PERSONALITY SHE KNEW WOULD TICK ALICE OFF("YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SAYING YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT THROWING UP YOUR LUNCH LATER COULDN'T HURT"), ALICE GETTING PISSED OFF AND PULLING A KNIFE ON HER("YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS TIME I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR TONGUE, STOP THAT HORRIBLE NOISE YOU CALL A VOICE"), AND THEN SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN OR ONE OF THEM WOULD FUMBLE OR FLIRT AND THEY'D JUST GO BACK TO NORMAL BANTER AND TERRORIZING PEOPLE. THEY DID CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, AND WHATEVER THEY WERE EXPERIENCING CERTAINLY FIT SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE STRANGE AND NEBULOUS RANGE OF ROMANTIC LOVE, LIKE THEY DEFINITELY LIKED EACH OTHER, THEY WERE JUST TOXIC AS SHIT AND HAVING THEIR BEHAVIORS EXPANDED UPON OR REINFORCED BY THEIR ENVIRONMENT. EVENTUALLY ALICES OBSESSION W GODHOOD AND HER IDEA OF PERFECTION (ONE THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE, EVEN IF POOFENPLOTZ MADE IT MORE PHYSICAL) ENDED UP DRIVING THE TWO APART, WITH HOW HORRIBLE ALICES DECLINE WAS, AND POOFENPLOTZ ENDED UP BASICALLY LEAVING AND IGNORING HER AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SNAP HER OUT OF HER DECLINE BUT ONLY PULLED HER FURTHER IN. AS IT STANDS NOW IN THE PRESENT, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A COMPLICATED SPIRAL OF "POOFENPLOTZ ACTUALLY HEALED AND REALIZED HOW AWFUL SHE WAS BEING AND WHILE SHE STILL HAD A DEGREE IN EVIL SCIENCE SHE HAD TO USE SO SHE MIGHT AS WELL GET A JOB DOING THAT, SHES ALSO RLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING W THE CAST AND HELP THEM, ESPECIALLY MILLIE AND PINKY, WHILE ALSO DEALING W " WHOOPS YOUR EX IS BACK IN TOWN AND SHES NOW BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE DEATHS THEN MOST FULL ON TERRORISM COMBINED, BUT SHE IS ALSO STILL KINDA HOT SO *NONCOMMITTAL HAND GESTURE*, YA KNOW?", MEANWHILE ALICE IS "OH RIGHT. SHE QUALIFIES FOR LOVEMUFFIN TOO. IM ALLOWED TO DENY ON HER ON TERMS OF HER BEING MY EX, RIGHT? BUT ALSO IM STILL GONNA INVITE HER TO OUR MEETINGS AND ALSO OFFER TO LET HER " LEAD" THE CULT IVE MADE THAT CONSISTS BASICALLY JUST OF MY VERY ABUSED OWN SON AND A VERY ABUSED TEENAGER WITH ME BC IF I CAN CHANGE HER MIND I CAN CHANGE ANYONES!"
ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:
Esmeralice, https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnP0Xop8gS5VdFNCP4Uetvq2pM5A9NZTe <- BAD PLAYLIST BY MY STANDARDS OF USUALLY A HUNDRED SONGS AT LEAST BUT ITLL DO FOR NOW
****
who makes up your ship?:
My ocs Pash and Illoma!!
why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:
OKAY SO theyre blorbos from a book a plan to write and basically the premise is that the main character, Illoma, is tasked with assassinating Pash. Theyre both from different families that have control over dragons and are both dragon riders in their own right. Illoma is from the 2nd most powerful house right after the royal family, which Pash is a part of. Their empire is ruled by an immortal god-king who has had many children over the course of his long life. Pash is one of his many descendants, but highest in the line of succession after her father (which is meaningless since the king is immortal). Basically, Illoma's mother believes that Pash's parents are going to try to find a way to kill their emperor and put her on the throne. This would be a terrible outcome for everyone because Pash is a hedonistic party girl who seems to have no regard for her own life or the lives of other people. She shows up to important meetings drunk/high, has a reputation for sleeping around with women, and is overall just an undisciplined mess. Illoma is a dutiful daughter who follows the rules of society, so when her mother tells her that she needs to kill Pash for the good of the empire, Illoma does what she says. It’s easy to emotionally disconnect herself from the action at first because Illoma doesn’t know Pash at all and doesn’t particularly like her. So she tries to poison Pash. When it fails the first time, she tries again, and again, and again. None of the poisons she’s been given are working. So Illoma is left with no choice but to get closer to Pash so she can try to kill her more effectively. The twist ends up being that Pash is basically a hommuculus created for the sole purpose of dying in some blood ritual that will kill the immortal god-king. She has a year left before this happens, but until then, he body has the regenerative properties of Wolverine. So with what little time she has left, she’s decided to keep herself entertained by fucking with Illoma. At one point, she makes a toast in Illoma’s honor to praise her tenacity and drinks the goblet Illoma poisoned while making direct eye contact with her. It only gets worse from there. As they grow closer, Illoma finds that she has more and more trouble keeping her gay thoughts in check. She is a super repressed lesbian and Pash is a very much not repressed lesbian. Illoma resents Pash quite a bit for being able to break all the rules without any consequences but genuinely has fun when they go out on excursions together. Lots of projection on Illoma’s part and gaslighting on Pash’s (“haha what do you mean you stabbed me last night, Im sitting right here at breakfast!”) Halfway through the story they start boning. Illoma is still actively trying to figure out a way to kill Pash and Pash is both aware of this and aroused by some of her more intimate attempts. They have an actual connection and like each other as people, but they have opposing goals and lots of underlying animosity to work out. In the meantime, they’ll be making out about it.
ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:
I use the tag "dragon horse girl story" on my sideblog to vaguepost about them!! :D
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AO3 wrapped!
Respond to this with what you would call the top 5 fanfics you’ve read in 2022. Any genre! Any ship! (Bonus points: if you’re a creator, make this a 5+1 and include your favorite fic you wrote in 2022!)
Then leave this in your friends’ asks too. Let’s give creators one more spotlight before the year ends, and share some of what we’ve enjoyed along the way!
You sending this: haha it'll be a fun way to wrap up the year!
Me for the past 2 weeks thinking about this nonstop every time I have a spare second: what WERE my top fics of 2022??
I've carefully picked out the below, but there are many, many, MANY fics that I enjoyed this year, so picking just 5 was so hard okay 😭 that being said, all of these are codywan recs except one (besides codywan and TOA fic I don't think I read anything else this year... Well, besides The Desert Storm which is an ongoing series, but which I recommend to every person, whether you like Star Wars and whether you like time travel or not). I've posted the below fics in the order I read them so no favouritism in the order they're listed!
this road is meant for two [10.2k] by @skatzaa
“Cody,” came a voice from behind him. The Jedi. The traitor. “Run. Use your jet pack.”
“Shut up,” CC-2224 snarled. He could barely see through the pain, but he leveled his blaster rifle again. “I’m not leaving you behind again, General—”
This was my gift for FFFX and let me say I seriously won the jackpot with this one!! It really has so so much tailored for me, like time travel of codywan from tatooine into a clone wars fix it, the angst of purge trooper Cody and him struggling with what he did, trans Obi-Wan, hurt/comfort, established relationship, it was funny, and most importantly, Palps got killed 😊
Good Soldiers [7.2k] by @elwenyere
“Have I ever commended you on the vast array of sentiments you manage to convey with your ‘sirs’?” Obi-Wan asked wryly. “Someday I will persuade you to drop the appearance of formality - at least when you’re telling me I’m full of shit.”
“You’re welcome to keep believing that, sir,” Cody allowed. “Everyone needs something to look forward to.”
The rest of Obi-Wan’s smile faded, his expression growing thoughtful.
“Yes,” he murmured, “I suppose they do.”
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Or, 5 Times Cody and Obi-Wan Followed Orders + 1 Time They Followed Each Other
I just remember reading this summary, and even before I clicked it I was like YES!!!! This person understands the characters and their dynamic and the prose is excellent, this fic is going to be freaking awesome. And I was right! It balances character growth and plot brilliantly, and the construction of each section is so thoughtful and combines into an incredibly crunchy whole. I was so disappointed when I checked the author's profile to find that this was their only codywan fic, but elwen has since graced us with many excellent works, and I recommend anything that she has written!
Thirty-One Sons, Thirteen Moons [32.7k] by sual
“This can’t keep happening,” Jango says despairingly. He’s said this almost every year for the past twenty-five of them.
“Well,” Cody slowly replies, looking down at the squalling baby the witch has left on their doorstep, “what’s one more mouth to feed when you’re already feeding thirty?"
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In Cody's latest attempt to sacrifice himself for his family, he finally learns how to want something for himself. Modern AU with magic.
Urban fantasy is my favourite genre, and this fic captures everything I adore about it - the inclusion of magic into the setting is so natural and informs the plot deliciously. I usually am a very hard sell on modern AUs and on relationships of convenience, but the excellent writing and Obi-Wan's gender fuckery got me hooked, and I'm so very glad I gave this one a chance. It's such a great idea, executed super awesomely and the smut throughout is sooo hot augh
Meg & Apollo's Highly Limited Roadtrip Playlist [3.2k] by Curioser [and the prequel as a bonus!]
Fourteen hundred miles. Four radio stations. Two friends trying hard not to kill each other, or to acknowledge the fact that in less than a week, they may never see each other again.
And Lizzo. So much Lizzo.
Reading this immediately after finishing the TOA books made me sooooooo emo like you have NO idea!!! Meg and Apollo's relationship was the core part of TOA that I enjoyed the most, and this fic made me see that relationship in a different light, gave me a different view as this is from Meg's POV instead of Apollo's like the books are, and introduced me to a whole bunch of new music too. It feels far too short for the amount of gutpunches contained within - the comparisons between their fathers, their situations and lives, and how they're coping with that, all made me sooo overwhelmed like aaaaaa *insert screaming cat meme* they're best friends. They're best friends!!!!
shelter from the storm [3.1k] by @inkformyblood
A sandstorm means that Cody and Obi-Wan have to spend days inside. They find ways to pass the time.
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Obi-Wan’s voice is low and Cody can almost picture his expression despite not quite being able to pick out his features; the incline to his head is almost hungry, his eyes half-lidded and thoughtful. “I’m sure you have several suggestions already.”
“Only several?” Cody punctuates the question with a kiss, drawing Obi-Wan’s hand to his mouth rather than chance finding his mouth in the semi-shadows. The split lip hadn’t been worth it with the benefit of hindsight, regardless of how attractive the gesture had seemed at the time. Cody’s lips brush against the rough edge of a bacta patch, an old one worn and reused until it is more placebo than curative, but Cody still skirts around the edge of it, kissing the seams of Obi-Wan’s fingers and tasting salt.
This was another gift for me and it is just so so so good 🥺 I love how magpie writes codywan as the flow between them, their characters, their banter and their relationship is so lovely and amazing! Codywan on tatooine are my favourite version of codywan, and it is nailed here - the yearning and the grief and the closeness that comes from being the only two people in the galaxy. Plus trans Obi-Wan has my whole heart, which was the cherry on top of the rest of this excellent fic
Plus 1 - the favourite fic you wrote in 2022
Whaaaat a question, oof. This was hard, but I've picked the one that I enjoyed writing the most, as well as one I've reread a dozen times or so this year since I think I did a good job in it!
Stand By Me [34.7k] by Serie11
Cody and Obi-Wan renovate a house together out in the Dune Sea. Along the way, they discover something else worth keeping.
I wrote this in like 4 weeks as a gift for Emi, and the process came together to really deliver what I wanted, and Emi really enjoyed it, so it was just a really enjoyable process the whole way through!
#codywan#fic recs#codywan fic recs#Greensleeves is probably also in my top 5 but since it's deleted it doesn't feel right to speak to it :(#anyway this year slapped there was so much good fic!!!
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Ok so if you do want to dare and get into MCD let me set some expectations: It’s a founding father of Minecraft Roleplays, was one of the series that got that genre popular. It is ABANDONED I cannot stress that enough, if you go into it you will find no satisfying ending.
There’s Technically four seasons but you can ignore MCD Origins as that’s jsuy a mod showcase survival series with no bearing on the real start, one and two were both 100 episodes and season three only made it into the 20-30s before it got dropped (season three is also only accessible through it’s playlist on the side channel Aphmau Stories, as Jessica (the creator) kinda started hating MCD towards the end and especially that season). Now the early episodes of season one are more of a survival let’s play with a dash of story, but it quickly ramps into more of a focus on the story (that being said, it’s still slow going. It only really speeds up around Zane’s first appearance I’d say)
Also ships? Don’t have them. Just. Just don’t. Ignore all chemistry placed at your feet to chew on. It’s a whole thing I won’t get into it but my fellow MCD fansy will understand.
Also you may be tempted to jump into MCD Rebirth, the revamped version of season one with Jessica’s team’s new and fancy skills, I wouldn’t do that. It’s also abandoned and spoils some stuff abiut the OG MCD experience, however if you can’t get into MCD proper then yeah give it a shot but you won’t see any Zane in it as I don’t think it even reached episode 20 in regards to its events and Zane shows up around the 40-50s I think.
This is a TIME DUMP! And in this time dump uou CANNOT EXPECT QUALITY! Voice acting doesn’t come in until around s1-90 (and isn’t fully voice acted until the tail end of s2 or started with s3), the set dressing feels a bit Minecraft Basic until season 2, Jessica and her team only started having things like high definition skins and smooth animations by the time MCD was already abandoned, and the story is.
Well here’s a new point. The story. The story is something! The writing isn’t great! It has a lot of potential but because of some....choices there are points where characters get out of character or characters aren’t explored in the ways or lengths you want them to be. That’s partially because of the limited perspective as the main character Aphmau is our camera and view into the world, like a first person book. However the fan rewrites and redesigns and just fanworks in general? Call it MCD brain rot but damn that shit fucks. Someone made an entire Ro’Meave family tree going back hundreds of years. They created a LANGUAGE. Fucking love them shout out to @stellisketches
So I think that covers all the warnings you’d need. If you dare lift the old and mossy rock now, you can’t say no one warned you or hyped it up too much
I genuinely appreciate this honest assessment of the series. Personally, it doesn’t deter me because I know it’s abandoned now, but if I hadn’t known before getting into it, that really would’ve soured the experience. I’m not gonna tag as spoilers because I WANT to anyone else who’s considering it from this blog to see this.
Now, I don’t mind low quality and just, a lot of implications that are explored in fandom (I like the trafficblr series, Hermitcraft, Wizard101 - I get the “I’m gonna take these ideas and make ‘em beautiful” mentality) so I think I may look at it when I’ve the time! Maybe I’ll catch you on my fandom sideblog some time :)
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Buster Moon Headcannons
-Is a hugger
-Picky eater
-Can actually sing but prefers for the others to do the singing and dancing. He would rather be to the side and let the others be the center of attention.
-Uses Gunter and Nooshy for script inspiration
-Rosita helps him with script writing sometimes
-Buster plays piano with Johnny some days
-Buster is scared of spiders
-And bees
-And n33dl3$
-Porsha stays at the theater some nights, and she and Buster have a lot of fun.
-Buster used to have a girlfriend.
-Is allergic to pinepple (long story)
-Never met his mom
-Secretly is still very sad about the loss of his dad, but doesn't let anyone know or pick it up.
-Thinks of Rosita as a motherly sister.
-The piglets call him Uncle Buster
-Ash calls him Moon-man
-Nooshy calls him Moonie
-Porsha occasionally calls him daddy.
-Gunter is like a brother to Buster.
-Buster has done karaoke with Gunter
-Meena bakes him stuff a lot because all Buster knows how to make (without causing an explosion) is toast. He is invited to her house a lot.
-Buster had met Mr. Crystal when he was younger.
-He was extra afraid of Crystal because (in the wild) dogs are the main enemies of koalas.
-Buster hates getting wet as well as his precarious relationship with water.
-It's not uncommon to see him falling headfirst down the stairs while tugging on his blue blazer.
-It's VERY common to see him accidentally walking backwards off of the stage.
-He was bullied as a kid. (I can almost guarantee it)
-He would help his dad with the car wash as a kid.
-It wasn't uncommon for him to talk his dad's ears off about the latest shows.
-Buster was actually a nifty little theif as a kid when he needed to be, but he'd never tell you.
-He used to be in a rock band.
-He tried to play baseball as a kid, but the mitts and baseball bat were way too big. Not to mention a ball speeding towards him would end with him getting really hurt... so yeah, he didn't get very far in his baseball career XD
-He still has nightmares of Crystal :(
-Him and Nooshy do things that are most likely mildly illegal.
-Nooshy and Ash taught him to be a hacker, even if he doesn't use the skill often apart from when he forgets his password... which happens a lot.
-Buster's original password was 'theater' but everyone guessed it on the first try and he had to change it. Now it is Yuri Dorfenboop. Foolproof.
-Hehas a huge playlist, of many artists and genres.
-Ash introduced him to her music (the Skunkdolls poster in her apartment in the first movie. Second movie, we ssee Buster has a Skunkdolls album.)
-He re-made his show War of Attrition when he managed to salvage the poster for it. That's why you see/hear about it in both movies even with the flood and fall of the original theater.
-He redid a ton of his shows.
-He sings when he's by himself
-He CAN play piano, but his mind wonders so much he switches songs and artist frequently without noticing every few minutes. By the end, he'll be freestyling.
-Buster was once mistaken for a performer at Rick's Club when he ran onstage to help out Ash. He had a microphone shoved in his paws and had no choice but to sing. He sang Pheonix by League of Legends. The crowd went wild. Buster vowed to never perform in front of a crowd again, which he had to break when he was forced to play in a show for Angus Chrome.
-He can also play the trumpet, and it's hilarious because it's way bigger than he is.
-He falls off of the ladder a lot.
-The crew caught him creating Daleonaise (mayonaise mixed with Dale's sauce) and tasting it.
-He has a fear of needles.
-He can't pronounce Worceshire. Neither can I. We call it Woostashoosh.
-He has memorized over one hundred actors.
-He secretly kinda likes Rosita. (My comfort character. I like this. Sue me.)
-When he's nervous, his ears twitch as well as his nose and it's adorable.
-He makes weird faces when he's concentrating.
-The color of blue of his eyes changes depending on the light.
-He taps things absentmindedly with a claw when he's being bothered by something/someone.
-No one knows Buster's habits as well as Eddie Noodleman
-In college, Eddie would help out Buster with the bullies when he needed to (the bullies wouldn't hurt or mess with Eddie because his parents were rich and their lives would be over if they did) and in return Buster would help Eddie with school and play videogames with him.
-Buster was poor as a kid, too, so he didn't always have all the school books he needed so he would take notes by writing on his hands when necessary.
-He stills writes info on his hands when he needs to.
-Rosita acts like Buster's mom a lot.
-Clay still teases Buster about the water tap thing.
-Buster met Mizuki because the gazelle wanted to figure out who showed up in her pictures of the couple in the first movie when Buster photobombed on his bike.
-Buster dapples in photography and is a very good artist when it comes to drawing.
-He's written a few songs but would never show anyone.
-He and Suki became friends after the second movie.
-Buster has destroyed four toasters in the span of a year.
-Whenever someone laughs at Buster for being so cheesy and optimistic over the craziest things, he jokingly tells them "I STAN OPTIMISM! And babies. I stan those too." everyone laughs really hard.
-He has a version of Jingle Bells of him and his little family doing arsonist-like activities.
-He doodles his family when he's bored.
-He doesn't know how to use a tablet. It took him forever just to learn how to operate his phone for calls and messages.
-He loves peanut butter and bananas
-His favorite jelly flavor is grape
-His favorite soda is orange fanta
-His favorite snack is cheesy doritoes
-He also loves apples
-He will never turn down a tootsie rolls to save his life.
-Loves chocolate.
-Climbs trees occasionally to read books.
-He says hello to the squids at Les Calmars whenever he passes by.
-His theater is on 551 Echo Drive.
-He refuses to get an apartment, that's why Nana had a bedroom built into his theater right above his office.
-Stills uses his comfort drawer. (ITS SO FRIGGIN CUTE-!!!)
-Ash and Nooshy and Porsha fangirl over his adorable little ears and paws whenever he gets twitchy because it's adorable.
-Porsha will do anything to get to pick up Buster and give him an extra big hug. Buster loves it too. He's a hugger.
-He prefers his coffee black.
-He's never had a butterfingers bar. Nooshy intends to right this wrong.
-He's never heard of Michael Jackson!! (yes he is a person in the Singverse. I headcannon he is a giraffe or kangaroo or something.)
-Buster would do literally anything for his family.
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5, 6, 9, 10, 18, 20, 26
5. Share one of your strengths.
Dialogue. I like to listen to people and I love to talk and verbally tell stories, so I feel like I understand the flow of a conversation well enough to replicate it in a way that feels natural and engaging.
6. Share one of your weaknesses.
B-plots! I really hate writing about things I don't care about and I historically, never care about the B-plot as much as what's happening to the characters. I'm a chronic story skimmer and so when it comes to B-plots....it can feel like I'm skimming through my own story. I think I write a good plot when it comes to character-centric things, but when the plot happens to the characters instead of through them, I feel like you can see how apathetic I feel about what's happening. I'm working on a couple of multi-chapters right now that rely heavily on B-plots being the driving force of the story to work on it.
9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?
Call Me If You Wanna Reach Me which is yet to be published, is sitting at 18k, and is driven by B-plots (see answer above)
10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?
Black Ace because it's literally my own personal sandbox. I always write those chapters in a couple of days. (vs. love-punch which takes me a month at the least) I haven't published the latest chapter because it's missing something and I haven't figured out what it is yet, but it is, like, objectively written.
18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?
.....nah. I have an outline for love-punch that I wrote on one of my off months just to be like, I wrote something, but the entire plot lives in my head, so I know exactly where it's all going and what needs to happen at which chapter. As long as I know how something ends, I have everything I need to write it.
20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.
I'm alone, it's late at night. I have a cup of hot coffee, a comfortable pair of sweats and sweater and the window is open letting in the cool air. I'm listening to either the perfect playlist, or the perfect background music, and I don't look at the clock once.
26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?
I don't anymore, but I used to! I was part of a private writer's forum in my high school years - everyone would beta each other's work in exchange for getting your own work beta'd. I have edited like, hundreds of works, but I much prefer editing my own work and have no plans on ever beta'ing again outside the occasional assist for a friend.
When I did beta however, I would focus mainly on: my experience as a reader (is it engaging, is it interesting, do I care?), the flow, whether the writing actually sounded good/made sense, character consistency, and a pretty healthy balance of crit. vs. praise because that's how I enjoy receiving feedback.
#mailbox#ask game#great questions! wasn't expecting more from this ask game haha so this was a nice surprise
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festive ficlets: dec 14
Prompts from @almost-a-class-act
Pairing: Babe Heffron x Ralph Spina
Prompt: Characters A and B just found out they disagree on whether ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ by Mariah Carey is the best or worst xmas song of all time.
The wind whistles through the cracked window-pane of the bathroom, strong enough to judder the door. Even the handmade lime-green draught excluder Ralph had brought home from one of his niece’s school fundraisers couldn’t quite stop the rattle and sharp bite of cold in this otherwise warm and cosy room.
Babe sits, feet tucked under the rung on the high barstool at their kitchen counter, hunched like the world’s lankiest gargoyle over his laptop. His fingers hover, poised and ready, over the keys. Across the counter, standing with a bagel in one hand and a rolled up copy of PC Gamer in the other, Ralph is scowling at him, thunder-faced and stormy-eyed. He slams the magazine down on the worktop, a gesture only slightly undercut by its bounce and flap to the floor, where it comes to rest neatly over his Captain America slippered feet.
Babe glares back.
“Stopping me from listening to what is, objectively, the best Christmas song ever made, is the worst thing you’ve ever done to this relationship,” he says. He has made this statement, in various ways, to various degrees of carefully orchestrated histrionics, several times over the last few rounds of this annual argument. It hasn’t worked quite yet, but it’s not even 8pm and they’ve still got at least an hour before a truce needs to be called so they can curl up together on the sofa with Criminal Minds.
“If you put it on the Christmas playlist, I will murder you and dispose of the body in such a way that it will never be found.” Ralph points directly at Babe’s nose. “And you know I can do it.”
Ralph too, has said this before. On at least three of the previous occasions, he has described in detail exactly what he will do to Babe’s body, and which oceans he will dump it in. Babe asked once where he expected to find a boat to cart said corpse and had been met with a hissed I have ways which had been so unexpectedly hot that the argument had been derailed entirely while he'd dragged Ralph upstairs.
“There are-” and Babe knows this, he’s counted them all, “- one thousand three hundred and eighteen other songs on this list. That’s seventy two and a half hours of music. What’s just four little minutes and one teeny tiny little second to all of that.”
“I will divorce you.”
“We aren’t married.”
Ralph throws the bagel hand up in the air. A sliver of salmon lands squarely on the slipper that is not being covered by a magazine.
“I will marry you specifically to divorce you if you put that song on our Christmas playlist.”
“I am perfectly marriageable material and look very handsome in a suit.
“I know that,” Ralph says. He’s in full swing now, waving crumbs all over the kitchen and absolutely not listening to his own mouth making noises. “And I’m going to anyway. But it doesn’t mean I have to to subject myself to your torturous taste in Christmas music. I have my pride, Heffron.”
Babe tilts his head and waits a moment for brains to catch up with words. Ralph stares back. His face is beginning to turn many delightfully festive colours, Babe notes.
“That was very romantic, Spina.”
“Stop.”
“I mean, I’m sure there’s wine in the fridge and candles in the garage if you want to try again.”
Ralph groans, buries his face in his hands. Babe chooses not to point out that there is cream cheese going into his hair. “God, Babe, babe. That wasn’t how that was supposed to go.”
A smile cracks over Babe’s face. “No shit,” he says. “You think I don’t see when you make reservations on our shared credit card?”
Ralph’s mouth opens and closes a few times. “You knew?”
“If I didn’t, maybe I find this less funny,” Babe says. He makes a show of thinking it over a for a few moments. “Maybe I don’t,” he concedes. He pats the barstool next to him. “Since I’m feeling magnanimamous-”
“That’s too many syllables.”
“Take it. Since I’m feeling that, I’ll give you a do over on Thursday night. I’ll even act surprised.” He pauses again for dramatic effect. “And I’ll delete the song off our playlist.”
Ralph clatters the bagel down onto a plate, and pads over to his boyfriend. There are still crumbs on his fingers when he places a gentle hand on Babe’s neck and pulls him forward into a kiss. His face is flushed crimson, but Babe can feel him grinning like an idiot, and when he pulls back, Ralph is beaming like all his Christmases have come at once. Seconds stretch between them as he kisses Babe once more, then twice more, then again for good measure. It is a good long moment before they break apart again, and he glances down at the laptop, where Babe’s hand rests flat, covering over the trackpad.
“Light of my life,” Ralph says.
“Mm?”
“I think you mistook the delete button for the add this song fifty times to the playlist button.”
“Oops,” says Babe, not at all contritely, as Mariah Carey begins to warble through the every Bluetooth speaker in the house.
#bob: festive ficlets#spina it's ok i've heard worse#for realsies#babe heffron#ralph spina#band of brothers
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For the playlist thing, something a lil abstract, what Abt the Character Trope/Storyline thing of AI/Robot learns how to be human ?
helll yeah you mean one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE STORY TYPES YEEEE HAWWW i imprinted on Data from TNG like a baby duck and never looked back
Okay so first one that is like. Basically literally this exact concept is "Hello, World" by Louie Zong but I'm actually gonna pick a different Louie Zong song bc it's fun to elaborate on more than 'this is a song about an AI grappling with sentience"!
Thumbnail-Brian David Gilbert and Louie Zong
Disparate parts, desperate hearts
Pulled through a sieve
Hand me a chart, so I know how to start to say
"This is all I can give"
To summarize seems incomplete
How novel is a novel that can fit on one sheet
It seems that I'm destined to fail
To compress myself to the size of a thumbnail
Keep it quick, say it brief
If it's fast, it will be a relief
Short on time, that's a gift
Count your seconds, and they'll catch the drift
For a lot of these stories a big component of gaining a sense of personhood is the AI both expanding their own perception of themself as well as finding out that they CAN expand beyond their previous perceptions and no longer have to be confined to a definition that had been previously assigned to them, and I think this song goes with that nicely
Useless Machine- Cosmic Johnny
And I try to explain but I can’t spell the words right
It’s a useless machine, it’s a black car with no headlights
And I try and try to fall asleep
Cause things feel fine inside my dreams most of the time
I can’t tell the difference
And what a waste
A hundred days and change, I threw it all away
With all the progress that I made, I messed it up
And when the bed is empty, why do I wake up
If I just think about the different ways to die?
You fucked up a perfectly good computer! Look at it! It's got anxiety!
(this song in particular dedicated to Hera from Wolf 359 and Guide from Mistholme Museum, for answering the question of what if a computer DID have anxiety <3)
Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave - Will Wood
And a little identity never hurt nobody, but lately you’ve been focusing too much on yourself
So how many milligrams of you are still left in there?
'Cause back in my day we didn’t need no feel-good pills and no psychiatrists
No, we just drank ourselves to death
And god damn it, we liked it
Who makes the call?
What’s a symptom, what’s a flaw, can it be both?
Well I suppose that’s an answer
Would you give up your humanity for just a touch of sanity?
'Cause God knows it’s not like it’s cancer
And good news to the purists: they’ve discovered a cure for the symptoms of being alive
It’s a painless procedure with a low rate of failure
But very few patients survive
Good news! You've gained personhood! Bad news! Humans are gettin real fuckin weird about it! aka you fucked up a perfectly good computer it's got anxiety 2 electric boogaloo: the follow up
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Family Cabin.
Requested by Anon – Hi hi. Can I request Jay Halstead x Reader? The reader wasn’t expecting to celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Jay because intelligence are in the middle of a big case, but what the reader doesn’t know is that they managed to wrap up the case the day before Christmas Eve so Jay shows up at her door and surprise her with a trip to his family cabin 😊
Characters – Jay x Reader.
Word Count – 677.
Placing the half full bottle of cider on the coaster, you had to get for the table because Jay just liked sitting the cups and bottles on it. You didn’t mind but now it was starting to leave small circular stains and you didn’t want to replace the table that you both liked.
Picking the remote up and switching the TV on you started flicking through the channels, knowing that you had the night to yourself since Jay had messaged you at lunch time saying that the case the team were working on was going to take longer than they thought. Looking through the Christmas movie selection that was on the TV the cheesy ones were catching your attention but the dark cover with the horn across it did. Clicking on it you snuggled into the cushions and turned the volume up before becoming emerged in the film.
‘I’m home.’ Jay almost shouted as he barged into your apartment, you jumped and the remote falling from your lap and landing on the carpet
‘Jesus Jay.’ You said, placing your hand against your chest feeling your heart beating a hundred miles per hour.
‘What are you doing here?’ You asked him, he ignored you as he walked over to look at the TV.
‘Why are you watching a horror movie before Christmas?’ Jay questioned, as he looked at the screen.
‘Krampus, again?’ He asked, you arched an eyebrow.
‘Yes Jay, because my wuss of a boyfriend wasn’t here.’ You commented back, he narrowed his eyes at you.
‘You still haven’t answered my question.’ You said, he shrugged his shoulders.
‘The case finished up early so I’ve decide to take action and we’re going to the cabin for Christmas.’ Jay told you, your brows furrowed as you bent down and picked the remotes up.
‘What?’ You asked confused, he held his hand out.
‘Come lets go.’ He said, making grabbing hands with his stretched hand.
‘We need to pack.’ You said, gesturing to shared bedroom.
‘No, I packed them last night when you were out with your work friends.’ He said, you narrowed your eyes at him before
‘Can I finish my drink?’ You asked, he rolled his eyes before nodding. You reached forward and picked the bottle up before placing it against your lips and downing the last of the fizzy liquid, Jay pulled a face and his eyebrows raised as you stood up. Making your way to the kitchen to place it in the bin.
‘I think you might have out drank me at school.’ Jay stated, as you turned back to him.
‘I would’ve, still would do it just now.’ You commented, his jaw dropped before he pulled you into him pressing a kiss to your forehead.
‘I would like to see you try but we should get going before it’s too late.’ He mumbled against your forehead, you nodded before you pulled back.
‘Fine, as long as I can chose the music.’
‘I have the Christmas playlist that you made programmed, it’s ready for us.’ He said, you slid your shoes on before Jay grabbed your jacket, holding it out for you to you slip your arms through the sleeves.
‘I also picked snacks for you.’ He said, watching as you zipped your jacket up. He titled his head slightly before he picked the fluffy hat up, and placed it on your head, pulling it down completely smiling when you started laughing before he helped you fix it, gentle moving the messy strands away from your face.
‘There beautiful.’ He stated, you couldn’t help the blush that took over before you reached up and pressed a kiss to his lips.
‘There handsome.’ You replied, enjoying the way he got flustered every time you called him handsome.
‘You ready?’ He asked, you looked around the apartment, seeing that he had switched the TV off.
‘Yeah, lets go.’ You said, he smiled and opened the door for you, you stepped out first but didn’t let go of his hand as he stepped out and locked the door.
#jay halstead x reader#reader x jay halstead#jay halstead#jay halstead imagines#chicago pd x reader#reader x chicago pd#chicago pd#chicago pd imagines
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she's a rae of sunshine (c.h.)
okay so this was a request but i completely read it wrong so i’m gonna write it again but i finished this one anyway so here take it
so sorry to the anon who requested it bc u were so fuckin sweet i’ll have it up asap i promise
playlist
ralph castelli - morning sex
crumb - bones
jorja smith - teenage fantasy
summary: balancing college life and wanting to support your best friends online endeavors was difficult, but reader regrets trying a little harder when she finally meets one of her newer stream-mates
word count: 2, 828
WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, lowkey OOC Corpse, that needs its own warning i’m sorry,
•••
“Look you knew I had to stream before I said you could come over ya fuckin idiot.”
“Yea I knowwwww, I just wanted to spend more time with my super-hot best friend forever.”
Being the best friend of an online personality had its perks— the amazing trips you got to hitch a ride on, the adoring fans that seemed to latch on to you as well, the sponsorships that would always send you something along with the original PR package, and especially the way she was able to choose their own work hours.
Well... mostly.
As much as you adored spending time together during the day, whether it be shopping or going out for brunch, those late nights that always seemed to hold the most memories you held so dear were few and far between. Of course, you couldn’t blame her; responsibilities were responsibilities, and fuck if you’d let your selfish wants override the way she chooses to get her work done. You really couldn’t be one to judge either-- having to call off dates because you’d underestimated the time you needed to complete a school paper, or when a last-minute lab was called in and you’d have to leave her sitting alone in those cafes with your half-finished mocha and a promise to Venmo her the money to cover it later. What left you feeling the most guilty, though, was the fact that you weren’t able to watch her content as much as you’d like to. Sure, you’d catch a few minutes of a stream here and there but any time you spent apart was usually spent with your head buried in a book, mind bleary with countless espresso shots trying to keep your tired eyes focused on the seemingly unending work in front of you.
But, a distraction every now and then couldn’t hurt. Right?
Having had enough of your current assignment, any coherent thought was long gone, you’d decided to pay your favourite person a little visit. You knew she’d probably be busy as she hadn’t replied to your previous text for a few hours, but knowing her presence alone and any passing comments would lift the heaviness that had found its home in your head and chest, you shot her a message to let her know that her office couch would be occupied by you for the next few hours. Normally, you’d just show up so you knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it; so when that fateful message popped up on your phone giving you the go-ahead you completely ignored the warning of her work schedule and drove right over.
So now here you were, sprawled haphazardly on her couch clad in sweats and a sports bra scrolling through your phone as you watched her finish her final touches so she could start her stream.
“You’re gonna be in the background of my face cam if you wanna sit there y’know.” Groaning in response to her warning not wanting to move from the comfy spot you just found, you looked over at her with the best puppy eyes you could muster. She chuckled softly, raising her hands in surrender as she turned back to her setup. “Hey I really don’t care, just warning ya bug. The thirst comments and screenshots are outta my hands.”
Scoffing under your breath at her comment, you turned your head back to your phone as a Twitter notification popped up at the top of your screen.
Corpse Husband: streaming among us in a few mins, join in on youtube
Heartbeat picking up slightly, you scrambled for the purse you’d thrown at the base of the couch for your headphones. Ever since you’d found this handsome-voiced stranger’s channel on your late night horror binges, you had fallen completely in love. While you weren’t typically the type to watch video game commentary outside of Rae, his voice got you completely hooked and you couldn’t get enough of it. Yeah, maybe you were a bit of a simp, but that sweet and genuine personality that hid behind that gravelly tone had you melting completely into his clutches. You tried to convince yourself to get over it, you didn’t even know what he looked like. But, y’know, a little crush wouldn’t hurt anybody right?
“Going live in T-minus 30 seconds babe.” Jumping slightly as Rae’s voice knocked you out of dreamland, you mumbled out a small “got it” as you once again got focused on getting your headphones connected to your phone. You’d never been able to watch one of his lives before, his horror commentary videos usually playing as background noise as you did schoolwork or while you were falling asleep. Practically shaking with excitement, you opened your YouTube app seeing the live at the very top and tapping on it immediately only to be met with that sweet laugh ringing through your headphones like music to your ears. You grinned to yourself, grabbing the throw pillow you had previously tossed to the floor and hugging it to your chest while your eyes remained glued to your phone screen, completely forgetting what was happening around you as you zeroed in on the gravelly tone you’d fallen oh-so in love with.
“Hey (Y/N) wave hi.” You startled slightly as the faint voice of your friend sounded from across the room. Glancing up from your phone, you pulled an earbud from your ear and furrowed your brows at her before slowly processing what she said, lifting a hand in greeting to her watchers. She laughed at your confusing antics, turning slightly in her chair to look over at you. “What the hell are you so smiley about?”
“…Nothing..” You grinned widely as her laugh once again resounded around the room, shaking her head at you before turning back to her screen with a scoff, muttering something under her breath so only her watchers could hear. Smile still plastered across your lips, you settled back down into the comfiness of the couch and popped your earbud back in, zeroing in again on the screen in front of you. Watching as Corpse moved his character around the lobby as he waited for his friends to join, a small giggle escaped from under your breath; trying your best to be mindful of Rae’s stream but not being able to hold back the flustered feeling welling up in your chest, mind giddy with the thought of finally being able to see one of his famous live streams, well, live. It had only been a few seconds later when you heard Rae’s voice once again, only this time, not as muffled as before.
“What’s up motherfuckers.” Brows furrowing in confusion, you lifted your hand to your earbud and pulled it from your ear once again, hearing her voice from across the room but from your other earbud as well. No, there was no fucking way. All your questions were answered, though, as you glanced back down at your phone screen seeing a red character move around the game lobby along with Corpse’s, the gamer tag ‘Valkyrae’ floating just above it. Blinking hard at your screen trying to convince yourself that your eyes were lying to you, you slowly pulled your hand to cover your mouth in shock. How… How could you possibly not know they knew each other? With the way they spoke to each other in sarcastic comments, poking fun at the other it sounded like they were close too. Body finally catching up with your thoughts, you scrambled at your phone, shaky hands moving as quickly as they could to pull up your texts with Rae. Your fingers tapped furiously at the screen, anxious to get back to the live stream to listen in more but also needing to know what the fuck was going on.
TO my rae of sunshine: care to explain what the fuck is going on??! how the fuck do you know corpse husband?????!??!
“Oops sorry guys, guess I forgot to turn off my phone ringer-“ Staring up at the back of her head helplessly, you watched as she picked up her phone seeming to read out the text before bursting into a peal of laughter. Tossing a look at you over her shoulder, you looked back down at your phone bashfully, seeing the three loading dots in your message thread indicating that she was messaging you back.
my rae of sunshine: lol what about it? you gotta crush on him or something?
TO my rae of sunshine: …no
Hitting send you rushed back to the stream, anxious to see what Corpse was saying in response to Rae’s absence, not thinking anything about your brief conversation and thinking you would discuss it after she had logged off for the night. Though, as you heard her phone chime again from across the room followed by another bark of laughter, you knew you weren’t getting off that easy.
“What are you laughing about?” Corpse’s honeyed voice sounded from your earbud, hearing Rae’s giggles from what you presumed to be their discord voice chat. Glancing anxiously between his stream and the reflection of Rae’s face cam in one of her monitors, your heart began to sink as you watched that familiar mischievous grin tugging at the edge of her lips.
“Oh just my friend (Y/n) sent me a funny meme”
“Wait, is she the one in some of your Instagram posts?” You swear your heart stopped beating at that moment, eyes glued to the screen in front of you as you tried helplessly to process the conversation happening right in front of you. He knew who you were? You thought you’d always be lost among the hundreds of thousands of his new adoring fans, left in the anonymity of your Twitter tag in his subtweets, or just another subscriber that fawned over him silently behind a keyboard. Knowing that he’d actually seen your face you could feel your own beginning to heat at that moment; you brought your hands your mouth again, unknowingly curling your body tighter around the pillow in your lap as you tried to hide your face behind it as you become more and more flustered from the words nonchalantly escaping his mouth.
“Yea that’s her, pretty thing isn’t she? She’s my absolute favourite.”
That’s it, you were gonna fucking kill her.
“I mean, yeah... I guess..” The timid words followed by a soft awkward chuckle had your breath hitching in your throat. There was no fucking way this was happening. This had to be a dream, that was the only possible explanation. You were just about to pinch yourself when Rae’s voice startled you from your thoughts.
“She’s actually over right now. She insisted on getting wine drunk later tonight because her professor’s been on her ass lately. I’ll get her to come say hi.” Rae had barely turned around in her chair when she was met with your wide-eyed gaze, panic painted across your features as you shook your head wildly. You were in no state to be talking to your long-time internet crush in such a casual setting. But with the look Rae shot you from her chair as she started to plug another headset into her PC, you knew you had no choice and begrudgingly pulled yourself from the couch almost tripping over your own feet as you shakily walked over to Rae. Shooting her another pleading look, she only shoved the headset in your direction in return as she grinned up at you. Finally biting the bullet, you pulled on the headset and leaned down toward the mic.
“Hi, how’s it going?” Cursing at yourself for how quiet and shaky your words came out, you barely had any time to think it over before a chorus of greetings sounded through the headset. A small giggle escaped your lips as you watched the different Discord icons appear and disappear from the top of the screen. You knew most of these people already which made you even more confused as to how you managed to miss that voice from all the discord chats and voice calls. Well, knowing them was a bit of an overstatement anyway; you knew /of/ them, and they knew /of/ you in the other times you popped up in the background or in passing conversation during Rae’s streams. They did know you well enough, though, to know this was not the way you usually spoke around them.
“No way, that can’t be the (Y/N) I know!” The voice you recognize as Sean echoes through your headset, another chorus of knowing laughter following quickly after. Taking a deep breath you managed to force out a few words that would get them off your case.
“…Shut the fuck up”
“There she is!!” As the group erupted in laughter yet again, all you could focus on was the faint deep chuckle that resounded through your headset. Feeling your face start to heat up, you covered your wide grin with your hand as butterflies burst through your stomach; you could listen to that laugh all day. Before you were able to speak again, though, that heavenly voice piped up and wiped all train of thought from your mind.
“Nice to meet you (Y/N).”
“It’s nice to meet you too Corpse. I gotta be honest ‘n say I’m a pretty big fan of your no-sleep work.” And... there’s the word vomit. Fuck, you could feel your cheeks starting to heat up with the ongoing realization of who you were talking to.
“Aha thank you, I uh really appreciate that. I’m sure you just heard, but I guess you could say I’m a fan of yours also.”
No.
No, there’s no fucking way.
Is he...
Flirting with you?
Before you could even think about what to reply to that with, the rest of the group beat you to it.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is happening.”
“CORPSE! You SIMP!”
“Is- Is Corpse really shooting his shot right now?”
You didn’t realize you were frozen in place until you felt Rae’s hand on your elbow, snapping you out of your bewildered trance as you tried to comprehend what was happening yourself. As your thoughts finally caught up to the present, you could feel your cheeks start to burn; pulling your hand up to cover your face you stepped out of the view of the face cam. Rae’s laughter filled the room as she watched your flustered antics, shooting you a sly grin as she started scanning the monitor displaying her live chat.
“Wait, wait, chats telling me (y/n)’s blushing right now?” Sean’s voice echoed through the discord chat, only making you flush further as you tried desperately to find a way out of this.
“Okay, okay, leave her alone.” Corpse’s voice finally piped up amid all of the chaos causing everyone to immediately pipe down. God, you didn’t even want to begin to think of the mess this has already made, you just needed to get out of there before you caused any more damage.
“Yeah, I uh- see- see that the lobby’s full so I’ll just uh- leave you guys to it.” Quietly thanking the stars that Corpse finally got you out of this mess, you went to pull the headset off your ears when that fateful voice piped up again.
“Wait, don’t let these nerds make you leave. You should stay- I mean, only to help Rae y'know? She needs it.”
“I do not!”
“I- I mean yea sure, as long as I’m not intruding,” Cursing yourself again for stuttering before forcing yourself to swallow the knot in your throat, “I mean, she really does need the help.”
“Okay just because you want to flirt some more doesn’t mean you can bully me-“
“Okay, I’m starting the round!” The booming accented voice cut off everyone else in the call as you all stared as the screen began to count down to the game, and before anyone had the chance to say anything else a chorus of laughs resounded, and then the lobby fell into silence.
•••
And it went on like that, the not-so-subtle flirting followed by relentless jabs from the group immediately after. The game was almost forgotten with how much of each lobby was taken up by teasing words and endless laughter, but every audience was just eating it up. You didn’t even want to think about the mess social media was going to be after this stream but right now you were having fun with your friends and that’s all that mattered. The grin was practically plastered on your face as you laughed along with Rae the chat during the gameplay portions and you knew everything from this moment on was gonna be different, but you couldn’t find a single thing within you to care.
Especially when you logged onto Twitter right after the stream and saw that little message right at the top of your requests.
@.corpsehusband: wanna hear some of that no sleep work in person?
•••
beep bop here u go,
#corpse x reader#corpse husband x reader#corpse imagine#corpse husband imagine#corpse x you#corpse husband x you
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First Time With Jotaro
Warnings: 18 and up, no minors, afab reader
Word Count 3.6K
Hey this is the first fanfic I’ve written so please don’t hate it too hard! Everyone is aged up to be legal of course and clearly this is an alt universe since some certain characters show up aha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey Kakyoin! Wanna hang out after school? I actually wanted to talk to you about something if you don’t mind?” You asked.
“Yeah sure, I don’t think I have anything going on tonight. Is Jotaro coming too?”
“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh? Okay. We can go out for some ice cream after school then? I’ll pick you up by your locker.”
The school day goes by, you had a hard time explaining to Jotaro that you wanted to hang out with just Kakyoin today, but once you said you had “girl stuff” you needed to do he just decided he’d ask you about it later and let you do your own thing tonight.
“So what did you wanna talk about y/n?”
“Have you noticed Jotaro acting weird lately?”
“Whataya mean?”
“I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy? He just gets quiet all of a sudden when we’re hanging out. Whenever we’re watching movies he doesn’t wanna make out as much. I’m sorry if this is too much! But, do you think he’s getting tired of me?
“Woah woah slow your roll y/n! From what I hear when we’re hanging out, he’s actually crazy for you. I’m not supposed to tell you this but he’s worried that he’s going to mess things up with you.”
“Oh-” you muttered. “I had no idea.”
“Well, how do you feel about him y/n? Like, do you-” he starts to lead on.
“Yeah, I think I love him. I’m too afraid to say anything to him about it though. I’m worried he doesn’t feel the same way about me.”
“Are you kidding? I’m pretty sure he’s felt that way since the day you two started dating. The guy never shuts up about you, and you can always catch him staring.”
“So you’re saying he isn’t going to break up with me next week?”
“WHa-! Why would you think he was going to do that?!”
“Well I don’t know. He just asked me this morning if I wanted to hang out with him next Friday so we could talk. With how quiet and weird he’s been lately I just came to the conclusion he wanted to break up with me but he was sparing my feelings until after my exams next week.”
“Next Friday huh? He did tell me he was too busy to hang out that day. And I remember catching something about Holly and Joseph being out of town next weekend…”
“Wait, so you mean to tell me, he’s trying to invite me over, alone?! Do you think-”
“I think he might want to talk to you about taking things to the next level to be honest.”
“Like, you know-”
“I’m not saying yes and I’m not saying no, but I’m pretty sure he wants to admit he loves you.”
“Do you think he wants to- do it? I mean, with the house being empty, that doesn’t happen often.”
“Y/n, all guys always want to do it. The question is, do you want to do it?”
“Hm, you know what, I think if the moment leads to it, I would say yes. I’m ready to go along with it. I would do anything for him.”
“Well, I guess you have a week to figure out how your Friday night is gonna go hehe.”
“Whataya mean me? You know that you’re going to help me prepare for this, right?!”
“Wha- whataya think I know about this kind of stuff anyways?”
“Well you know Jotaro, and you can help me pick out the right outfits to peak his interest too! How about we swing by the mall after this and pick up something cute? Pleasse?”
“Oh alright, I can’t say no to you anyway.”
You already have the perfect skirt in mind at home. All you need now is a cute top to go with it.
“So Kak, what kind of top do you think I should wear? I think I’m gonna wear my black miniskirt so I wanna get something that goes with that.”
“Oh yeah, he does talk about you in that miniskirt alot.”
“He does??”
“Uhh, nooo I did not say that out loud aha- anyway! I think simple would be the best way to go dontchya think? You could do a black top. Maybe low cut but with long sleeves?”
“Oh yeah that does sound pretty cute! How about this one?”
“Yeah that’s perfect! I’d pair that with the star earrings he got you for your birthday and a pair of hightops and I’d say we're good to go.”
“Well-, there’s one more stop I’d like to make…”
“What else do you need?”
“Well, you know, in case anything does happen, I kinda think, mayybee, ya know, I should have a cute new set just for him..”
“Ohh no you don’t. I know we’re close and all, but if he knew that I helped pick something like that out for you, he’d probably hurt me.”
“Oh don’t be silly! I’d never let that happen, bsides, it’s not like you’re gonna see me in it, I just really need you to help me get the right ones for the occasion! I’ll buy you a new video game if you do.”
“Well, if you promise he won’t hurt me, I guess I can agree with that”
“Yay! You’re the best!”
You and Kakyoin walk into the lingerie store. This place is so unfamiliar to the both of you. You can see the discomfort on Kakyoin’s face just by being around all of this stuff.
“Relax Kakyoin, we'll be out of here real quick, just tell me what you think he’d like.”
“Well, he always gets you gifts with star patterns ahem, so maybe start there.”
“Good idea! Hmm, how about this one!” You exclaim as you pick up the specimen in question. This matching set is black mesh with silver and purple stars all across it.
“You know y/n, something tells me he’s going to absolutely love that one.”
“You think? I wonder why he seems to like stars?”
“Yeah, I wonder…”
Kakyoin walks you home and you continue to talk about the current situation. He assures you that everything’s going to be just fine and not to stress about it.
“Thanks for walking me home Kak, and thanks for everything else today to.” You say smiling and waving goodbye.
“It’s no problem y/n, just don’t forget about that game you owe me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. How about we go get it next Saturday and we can catch up.” You chuckle.
“Sounds like a date.”
You’ve got your new set, and you’re really excited to try it on, all while being nervous about the day you actually plan to wear it.
It’s okay. I got this, everything is going to be juuust fine.
Friday morning rolls along. You feel nervous but you put your new outfit on today to give yourself a confidence boost. Jotaro finds you at your locker and comes up to talk to you.
“Hey y/n, I wanted to talk to you about tonight actually.” Jotaro says with wide eyes as he notices the new top you’re wearing.
“Oh hey, what’s up, we're still on for it?”
“Of course, I just wanted to mention that it’s just going to be us tonight. My mom and the old man are going on a trip for the weekend. I was curious if you wanted to stay the night or whatever, it’s no big deal if you don’t want to.”
“A sleepover? With you? That sounds like a dream come true.” You smile, “but if you fall asleep before me, don’t expect to wake up without a mustache now.”
“I’ll take my chances.” He laughed.”
“Yeah I’ll come meet you at your locker after my last exam then! Can we swing by my house first? I’ll need to pack an overnight bag, but then I’ll be good to go.”
“Yare yare daze, you don’t have one already?”
“Oh hush, maybe next time don’t tell me when I’m already at school.” You joked. You figured this whole time he was going to ask you to spend the night, but you didn’t want to look overly eager or tip him off that you've been preparing for tonight with Kakyoin.
Jotaro walks you to your house after school. You go up into your room and pretend to put together a bag for the night. It’d look too suspicious if you walked out already with the bag you had made in preparation for tonight.
You nervously walk down the stairs to meet Jotaro.
“Got enough stuff?” He asks, looking at your rather large bag.
“Well, I wasn’t sure what I’d need over there so I just figured I’d bring it all haha.”
You walk into Jotaro’s house and your chest starts to feel heavy. You’ve been here a hundred times. But nothing like this was ever going to happen. You take your shoes off and head up to Jotaro’s room to drop off your bag. You notice that he’s already following behind you.
“You know y/n, I actually made a new playlist the other day, I was wondering if you wanted to listen through it with me?”
“Oh! Okay, that sounds like fun! We can sit on the floor of your room and listen to it.”
You get yourself situated in his room and lay down on the floor next to his bed with your legs crossed and propped up onto the bed. He looks down at you and smiles, you’ve never looked so beautiful to him.
“What are you thinking about Jotaro?” You say as you pat the floor next to you.
“It’s nothing,” he replies, only thinking about what the night holds for the two of you.
He lays next to you on the floor and begins the playlist he made.
“So I found a few new songs the other day and they all kind of reminded me of you so I wanted to share them with you. Don’t laugh at me though.”
“Are you kidding? That’s like the sweetest thing ever, but I’ll probably still tease you about this haha.”
“Yare yare daze, why do I even out up with you, now hush and listen to this one already, wouldya?”
The most beautiful song starts to play, you hang onto each word sung through an enchanting melody.
“What’s this song called?”
“It’s The Ballad of Love and Hate, it really makes me think of you y/n.”
You sit there and listen to the rest of the song with him. You feel him grab your hand giving it a nice squeeze at the important lyrics.
”I’m yours and that’s it, forever
You’re mine and that’s it, forever”
“So yeah, anyway I guess that one makes me think of you.” He says through blushing cheeks. He tries to turn away before you catch him but he wasn’t quick enough.
“......... Jotaro, I love you too.” You reply, squeezing his hand a bit tighter.
Jotaro grabs you and pulls you on top of him. You stare into his deep aqua eyes, sharing the same lustful look. He gently moves his fingers towards your face to coarse a stray piece of hair behind your ear, and then pulls your head forward in the same instant until your lips are on his. You’ve kissed before, plenty of times, but none were this long or temptatious. You snap back out of your own thoughts to the sudden sensation of his free hand drifting down your back and then under your skirt to grab your ass.
You take in a sharp inhale from the sudden shock, only to reply with more aggressive kissing whilst straddling his lap. You notice something rubbing up against your thighs, an unfamiliar feeling but not hard to figure out. You look up at Jotaro to see him immediately look away, trying to hide his blushing face.
“Y/N, I-I’m sorry, we don’t have to do th-..”
You cut him off abruptly with another kiss.
I was right! I knew something like this was bound to happen. I’m ready.
You can do this. You hyped yourself up all week.
“Don’t be sorry about it,” you managed to sneak out through your locked lips, “I want to do this.” You say quietly yet assertively as you gently stroke his lap with your hips.
You quickly see Joatro’s eyes turn into two pools of lust as he registers the words that just left your mouth. He pulls you into a passionate exchange of tongue and slides both of his hands up your top and under your carefully selected bra. He quickly brushes his fingers across your nipples and you buck your hips sharply against his. You can feel yourself getting wetter underneath your clothes.
“Oh, did I find a sensitive spot?” He says wryly.
You buck your hips again in response and watch as he holds in a sound of his own.
“Oh, are you sensitive too?” You say, poorly holding back a smile.
Jotaro takes your shirt off after asking you if he could. His eyes were immediately drawn to your chest.
“You think you’re clever or something?
Jotaro notices the bra that you carefully selected for tonight. He acts like he is unpleased by it, but you know he loves it. Realizing the thought that you put into this turns him on even more.
Jotaro wraps one of his legs around yours so he can quickly flip you over, laying you down on your back now, while he hovers over your topless body. Your face fills with red as he looks down upon you. He moves in to caress your erect breast with his tongue. You bite your lips to keep in the noises you want to make. He leaves a trail of burning kisses down your stomach and pushes your skirt up around your waist.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”
Jotaro slowly starts to slide off your panties without taking his eyes off of yours. The butterflies start to flutter even faster in your stomach. The anticipation is almost unbearable. Jotaro starts to spread your legs apart and you gladly help him. He takes his hand and gently starts to massage around your vagina, trying to figure everything out. As he sensually moves his fingers around he can pick up the more sensitive parts watching how your face reacts to his touches. Getting everything he needed, he carefully pushes two fingers in as you abruptly arch your back in response. He pulls his fingers out slowly and inserts them back in just as deep, but this time moves his thumb around what he figured out to be your clit. He positions his mouth on top of your clit while he continues to move his fingers back and forth. You’ve never felt pleasure like this before.
You push Jotaro’s head back a little bit and he looks up at you a bit confused.
“I think it’s my turn”
Jotaro sits up and starts to unbuckle his first belt.
“You sure you want to do this?”
“Positive,” you say as he finishes the second belt.
He pulls off his boxers and for the first time you can see it.
Holy shit it’s so big! How am I supposed to handle this?! Just take a deep breath.
You scoot yourself closer to him, and firmly grasp his member. His face quickly tensens up. You start to move your hand up and down his cock. He pulls your head in to kiss you and then subtly notions you to move your mouth elsewhere. You take a deep breath before you give in to his desire.
You open your mouth and place your lips gently around the head of his dick and lick the tip of it. He drops his head back and lets out a pleasureful sigh. You start to suck and move your head up and down a little bit, focusing on the head for the time being. You start to venture lower until you can’t fit anymore in your throat, and decide to take care of the rest with one hand, using the other to stabilize yourself.
Jotaro grabs you underneath your arms and pulls you up to meet him face to face.
“Everything alright?” You worriedly asked.
“It’s more than alright, in fact it’s too good. I had to stop you before you made me finish.” He says with a sheepish smile. “Do you maybe wanna move to the bed?”
You move in to give him a kiss and nod your head in agreement. Jotaro sits up and picks you up and sets you down on the bed on your back. He sits down next to you and pulls a condom out of the bedside table and looks over at you.
“You still want this?”
“Only for a while now.”
He rips open the condom and carefully sets it on top of his head and slides it all the way down with shaking fingers. You open your legs just enough for him to kneel in between them. Jotaro slowly lines himself up with your entrance as he doesn’t want to hurt you when he notices your current position.
“Why are you covering your face with your arms y/n?”
“Don’t look! I don’t want to make an ugly face in front of you!”
“What are you talking about? You could never make any face I wouldn’t want to look at. Besides, I want to see your face to make sure I’m not hurting you. I want to see the look in your eyes that lets me know you feel just as good as I do.”
You start to tear up. Jotaro always knows how to make you feel so beautiful. He then takes one of your hands in his while he places the other on your hip as a guide for himself, and you place your free hand on his forearm.
Jotaro starts to ever so gently push his way in as you begin to bite your lip, holding back all sounds. He pushes forward even more and he can feel your grip on his forearm getting even tighter as he finally pushes all the way in.
“Are you okay?? Do I need to stop? Your nails are digging into my arm.”
You let out a deep sigh and release your grip on his arm. “Oh I’m sorry! Please don’t stop for me!”
He slowly begins to pull back out, watching all the ways your face moves while doing so. He thought he was turned on earlier, but that feeling was nothing compared to this.
He pushes in again a little bit quicker than before. Your face shows some signs of mild discomfort but you assure him that you’re okay. It’s your first time, you're still getting used to his massive size.
After a short amount of time passes you both start to get the hang of things and pick up the pace. The little discomfort you felt is now gone. The lewd sounds of pleasure leaving your mouth will never leave his mind.
“Oh Jotaro! Fuck! It’s so good.”
“Ffu- fuck y/n!”
“I think I’m cu-!” right as you’re about to finish your statement, deep waves of pleasure wash over your body. You’ve never felt anything this strong before.
Jotaro tries to push through your own orgasm, the throbbing of your insides making it tighter for him. Right after your own orgasm Jotaro quickly realizes he’s also about to cum and picks up the pace.
“Oh shit of fuck y/n I’m about to cum to!” He shouts, only seconds later his own wave of pleasure washes over him as he pulls out and flops over on the side of you pulling you into his big arms to come down from his high with you.
“Jotaro?” You ask, “was it good?”
“I don’t think I could ever get tired of this with you y/n, I love you.”
Jotaro gets up out of bed to clean up his mess, while you put yourself back together and into your pajamas. He returns to his room seeing you laying in his bed waiting for him to come back to you.
“Now this is a sight I could get used to seeing.” He scoffed.
“Oh shut up and come hold me already. Let’s watch a movie and go to sleep.”
Jotaro delightfully accepts his orders and wraps you into his arms.
“How about I put an aquarium live stream on, I tend to find those so relaxing to sleep to.”
“Yeah okay! I’ll give it a shot.”
----Meanwhile Somewhere Else-----
“You think Jotaro’s staying out of trouble?” Holly asks.
“Do you think he’s staying out of trouble?” Joseph retorts.
“Do the thing! I brought this spare camera so you could check up on him!”
“Now Holly, do you think that’s a good idea? He’s a grown boy now, let him have some privacy dear.”
“Pleasee daddy!?”
“Okay fine, but only this one time, you need to give him some space now that he’s growing up.”
“Okay, I promise!”
Joseph smashes the camera to get a single image of the house while Jotaro is alone there. After a couple of minutes go by, the image finally develops and Joseph takes the first look at it. All he can see is clothes strung across the floor and the wrapper for a used condom.
“Anything I need to worry about??” Holly asks.
“No dear, everything is just fine. Jotaro is a fine, responsible young man.” He answers through a red face.
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ROUND 2 / SIDE A / POLL 2
Esmerelda Poofenplotz x Alice Luoja (@cantdanceflynn) vs Res x Leo (@adanaac)
who makes up your ship?:
Esmeralda Poofenplotz(Canon Phineas and Ferb character(although I draw her differently from canon)) and Alice Luoja(Background character turned Phineas and Ferb oc)
why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:
THEY BASICALLY STARTED OUT AS TWO DUMBASS TOXIC AF TEENAGERS GOING TO EVIL SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER AND BEING THE TERRORS OF THE SCHOOL(POOFENPLOTZ BC SHES BIG ON BEAUTY AND WOULD BASICALLY DESTROY EVERYONE'S SELF ESTEEM AND ALICE BC. SHES WILLING TO KILL ANYONE WHO RLY FUCKS W HER), AND WHILE THEY ORIGINALLY HAD A RIVALRY IT GOT A LIL TOO HOMOEROTIC VERY QUICKLY AND THEY DON'T RLY KNOW HOW BUT THEY ENDED UP DATING. THEY ENDED UP, SURPRISE SURPRISE, RUINING EACH OTHER EVEN FURTHER THEN THE TWO OF THEM WERE ALREADY TRAUMATIZED!!!! A TYPICAL INTERACTION BETWEEN EM PRETTY MUCH WENT ALONG THE LINES OF POOFENPLOTZ POKING FUN AT SOMETHING ABOUT ALICES BODY OR PERSONALITY SHE KNEW WOULD TICK ALICE OFF("YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SAYING YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT THROWING UP YOUR LUNCH LATER COULDN'T HURT"), ALICE GETTING PISSED OFF AND PULLING A KNIFE ON HER("YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS TIME I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR TONGUE, STOP THAT HORRIBLE NOISE YOU CALL A VOICE"), AND THEN SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN OR ONE OF THEM WOULD FUMBLE OR FLIRT AND THEY'D JUST GO BACK TO NORMAL BANTER AND TERRORIZING PEOPLE. THEY DID CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, AND WHATEVER THEY WERE EXPERIENCING CERTAINLY FIT SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE STRANGE AND NEBULOUS RANGE OF ROMANTIC LOVE, LIKE THEY DEFINITELY LIKED EACH OTHER, THEY WERE JUST TOXIC AS SHIT AND HAVING THEIR BEHAVIORS EXPANDED UPON OR REINFORCED BY THEIR ENVIRONMENT. EVENTUALLY ALICES OBSESSION W GODHOOD AND HER IDEA OF PERFECTION (ONE THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THERE, EVEN IF POOFENPLOTZ MADE IT MORE PHYSICAL) ENDED UP DRIVING THE TWO APART, WITH HOW HORRIBLE ALICES DECLINE WAS, AND POOFENPLOTZ ENDED UP BASICALLY LEAVING AND IGNORING HER AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SNAP HER OUT OF HER DECLINE BUT ONLY PULLED HER FURTHER IN. AS IT STANDS NOW IN THE PRESENT, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A COMPLICATED SPIRAL OF "POOFENPLOTZ ACTUALLY HEALED AND REALIZED HOW AWFUL SHE WAS BEING AND WHILE SHE STILL HAD A DEGREE IN EVIL SCIENCE SHE HAD TO USE SO SHE MIGHT AS WELL GET A JOB DOING THAT, SHES ALSO RLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING W THE CAST AND HELP THEM, ESPECIALLY MILLIE AND PINKY, WHILE ALSO DEALING W " WHOOPS YOUR EX IS BACK IN TOWN AND SHES NOW BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR MORE DEATHS THEN MOST FULL ON TERRORISM COMBINED, BUT SHE IS ALSO STILL KINDA HOT SO *NONCOMMITTAL HAND GESTURE*, YA KNOW?", MEANWHILE ALICE IS "OH RIGHT. SHE QUALIFIES FOR LOVEMUFFIN TOO. IM ALLOWED TO DENY ON HER ON TERMS OF HER BEING MY EX, RIGHT? BUT ALSO IM STILL GONNA INVITE HER TO OUR MEETINGS AND ALSO OFFER TO LET HER " LEAD" THE CULT IVE MADE THAT CONSISTS BASICALLY JUST OF MY VERY ABUSED OWN SON AND A VERY ABUSED TEENAGER WITH ME BC IF I CAN CHANGE HER MIND I CAN CHANGE ANYONES!"
ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:
Esmeralice, https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnP0Xop8gS5VdFNCP4Uetvq2pM5A9NZTe <- BAD PLAYLIST BY MY STANDARDS OF USUALLY A HUNDRED SONGS AT LEAST BUT ITLL DO FOR NOW
****
who makes up your ship?:
Res and Leo
why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:
Leo can’t remember anything that has happened to him before the age of twelve. All anyone knows is that he was in an accident that should have killed him, then he returned with an indestructible body and a void where his personality should be. He cannot comprehend good or evil, does not understand the concept known as ‘choice’, and cannot envision an existence where Res isn’t his Master. He imprinted onto Res the moment he met the other man and pushed himself into Res’ life without considering whether or not Res might want it. His first Master did not pass, he simply changed how he looked, and what he looks like now is Res. Period. He has nothing to offer, nothing to say, no emotions and no heart to give. All he knows are the facts, and the facts tell him that there is no Leo without Res. So he’ll make sure that there’s no Res without Leo. Res has always been very into science, but he isn’t too fond of how there are a bit too many restrictions on the experiments he can perform, and he’s even less fond of how they die whenever he tries some of his more ‘exciting’ stuff. Thankfully he has Leo, his little obedient puppy who will obey his every word and donate his body for research. Of course, he’s never asked him whether he was okay with that, but signing a consent form is so old school. He believes that we should be doers, not dreamers, and he’s always wanted to see what the insides of Leo’s body looked like. And all the resistance it’s putting up just makes it all the more exciting. Leo spells unending excitement, and that’s all the reason Res needs to make sure no one else has him. Res is life, but he is not Leo’s purpose for living, because Leo has not questioned whether or not life has a purpose. He doesn’t need to. Res is Leo’s Master, and Leo’s Master is the very concept of life itself. Without his Master, the earth does not spin, and the sun does not shine. Why would it be anything else? Leo is not a person, he is Res’ dream. The dream of a creature that would do nothing but obey his every word, and the dream of an anomaly that he could endlessly explore without an expiration date. A thing that Res will never get bored of. To Res, Leo is just an adorable lab rat who happens to be the only one in the world who can fulfill his dreams. He does not care for Leo, the person, because Leo is not a person, but he does care about Leo, the humanoid playground that belongs to Res, and Res alone. This is love, because love is when someone makes your heart race, and love is when someone makes you feel like you’re free-falling into obsession. Res loves him, loves him, loves him loves him loves himloveshim. Just as we don’t get emotionally attached to the oxygen that keeps our heart beating, Leo does not get emotionally attached to Res, and he doesn’t need to. This isn’t love, it’s something more than that. Love can change, fade and evolve- it’s fickle, fleeting and easily manipulated. What Leo and Res have is a constant. Res belongs with Leo, and Leo belongs with Res. Don’t argue with the facts. Because you’re wrong, and Leo will make sure you know you’re wrong, no matter who you are. It’s a good thing they’re with each other, and no one else. (Leo is Uno's oc, Res is Canada's oc. Above description written by Uno. Canada's description below) They're basically like those AITA stories where both are the asshole and its a good thing they're together and making each other worse. btw Res is the short pink one and Leo is the tall one.
ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:
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Slow & Steady [P6] [Sabo x f!reader] (+18)
A/N : Hello ! I wanted to start by thanking you guys for the AMAZING responses on chapter 5. This makes me want to continue investing in this story !! I read all of your messages and I cherish them, they make me want to continue. I'd also like to thank my beta reader for her hard work. I hope that you will enjoy this chapter as much as the others.
Please always tell me your opinion as it’s my kryptonite ! Also feel free to ask to get tagged.
Synopsis : Isn’t love a matter of timing after all ?
That’s what Sabo has always thought. It was about finding the right tempo, making the right moves and hitting the right spot. Patience is a virtue after all, and he had a lot of it. It all started when your ex cheated on you. You were heartbroken, you needed someone and he was there. Was he always that hot ? You didn’t know. But after that night you have never seen him in the same way.
Chapter Warning : Smoking (cigarettes) - mention of ex relationships
AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/31877203/chapters/81748033
P I - P2 - P3 - P4 - P5 - P6
I made a playlist for this chapter but I suggest you listen to it after !
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3posJHlUg1XFJzQbPkjF0J
------
The crimson-haired man ceased to look at you, as if it hurt to do so. Your lack of response discouraged him. How could it be otherwise? You had created a narrative where he was a cheater, believed in it, ended the relationship - all of this without him knowing; without him even doubting it. It was ironic enough that he who saw so clearly in the future, he who knew how to read people’s moves so easily was totally blind when it came to love. Or maybe had he tried to blind himself? To overlook the fact that you weren’t answering your phone anymore? To find excuses upon excuses for you? He had always been that type of person after all. As a big brother, as a “responsible” person, it was second nature to him to bottle up his feelings and to never lose composure. And even in this moment, he couldn’t tell you how much your actions hurt him.
But for once, he accepted the fact that he saw a future that you weren’t a part of. Deep down, he knew that by overlooking the signs and hints, he has also played a role in the downfall of your relationship.
He saw it too clearly: you weren’t his anymore. Just like when you excluded him from the decision making, choosing to put an end to your relationship on your own - you didn’t even have the courage to tell him that yourself. He had to do the same: fill in the gaps and read between the lines. He remained silent for a moment. He got up from his seat when he gave up on you saying anything.
He moved towards the door, ready to leave all your shared memories behind his back.
People don’t always get the closure they need in order to move on, he knew that too well.
“Katakuri,” you called for his name weakly. He didn’t know if it was his imagination or if you had really pronounced his name. He turned his head towards you, unimpressed.
Your heart was pounding hard in your chest. You knew that if you let him go now you would regret it forever. You knew that you had to tell him about everything. He deserved it, after all. It was hard to be the bad guy of the story. But you had been a bitch and you had to face the consequences of your behavior. Wasn’t that what being an adult meant?
“There is something else that I think you need to know,” He seemed interested now. He was listening to you without turning your way.
“I apologize for everything that I have done and I know that you will probably not forgive me and honestly, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't either.” You took a deep breath before going on. “What I am going to say might be hard to hear, but I feel like you need to know it.”
You don’t know exactly how the rest followed, nor how you found the courage to tell him about everything. You didn’t get to any details, it would have been too cruel, but you told him what he needed to know.
“I am really sorry, but I think that it’s best for us to split up. My feelings have changed, I have caused enough damage as it is. I think that it’s better for both of us. I am really sorry I hurt you.”
You looked down and from this angle you couldn’t see his smile. It was bitter, the smile of someone that had seen all of this coming. And yet, he was relieved that you confided in him. It was the closure he needed after all. At least now, he could move on.
* * *
The cigarette trembled between your index and middle finger. Your head was clouded. It took too much effort to try and empty your head, to try not to think of what was going to happen. You had lost so much already and what you were going to lose was beyond repair. With every breath you took, you felt your stomach contract and your legs get weaker. It was one of those days when you wished you hadn't woken up. Despite all of this, a feeling of peace submerged you. Peace? Maybe because you had been honest to your ex, maybe because you were trying to be honest to yourself. What got you into this situation was your indecision after all. You didn’t want to hide anymore.
If you can’t see it, then it doesn’t exist. This mentality of yours had to change and you were going to change it tonight. It was the best opportunity, it had to happen, you had to grow. Maybe to some extent, your “romantic” failures weren’t all to blame on others, maybe you also played a role, maybe you weren’t ready yet. Didn’t Sabo say the same thing?
“I thought that you stopped a long time ago.”
A firm voice broke your trance. His hand snitched the cigarette from your lips before putting it out with the sole of his shoe.
“Hey!” You whined in protest, features softening when you were met with his dark eyes.
“I did quit. But I was stressed,” you tried to justify yourself. “I needed it.” You mumbled.
“Bullshit. You always have the choice.” He shrugged and took place next to you on the sidewalk.
Choices, decisions, you were already done with all of this.
An awkward silence swallowed the atmosphere, but it seemed as if it was only awkward for you.
Now that you had nothing to do with your fingers and mouth, you started scratching at your wrist slightly - a nervous tic.
The ambience of the park offered you, however, a feeling of safety. The darkness hid your embarrassment. He was now sitting next to you and it was as if words deserted your mind. He didn’t want to pressure you, he didn’t say anything. Under the moonlight, his blond hair took on a silvery shade. He kept looking in front of him, hands in his pockets. Silence didn’t bother him, he knew that something was wrong, otherwise you wouldn’t have texted him to come to the park at around midnight.
Truth is, you couldn’t calm down, you felt like you had to come clear about this whole situation, you felt like you had to make a decision. You felt that if you let today pass, then you would find one hundred excuses and hide again.
It was now or never.
“Sabo,” you started.
“Y/N,” he mirrored your answer.
“I’m going to tell you something... But please don’t judge me, alright?”
“Have I ever judged you?” He arched an eyebrow, his eyes meeting yours, making you switch your gaze almost instantly.
“Well... You have... Like that time I used the microwave at your place…”
“Y/N, you microwaved a fork…” You fake pouted as you playfully punched his arm.
“Well, the fork was in the bowl and Ace was there and he didn’t say anything! Not my fault.”
“And you trusted Ace?” he smiled and held your wrist to stop you. “He’s a living disaster. You guys can’t do anything without me, huh?”
“Yeah, yeah. What would I do without my Mr. know-it-all of a best friend?” you laughed it off.
Best friend. That word reminded you of the reason why you contacted him so late. You coughed two times, trying to switch his attention to you. Laughing things off helped ease the atmosphere. You twirled a hair strand around your finger then started as if you were going to give a speech.
“Hey, I’m gonna try to... be decisive…”
“That’s some character development.”
“Sabo!”
“Sorry, couldn’t help myself,” he said with a sweet smile. You sighed and started bouncing your leg nervously.
“So If I called you tonight it’s not to have the pleasure of your company… and it’s not to rip you off your precious hours of sleep... It’s also not to... ”
Noticing that you were starting to diverge from the topic, he held your hand in his softly and gave you an encouraging look. Honestly speaking, he didn’t have much patience around others but he had loads of it with you.
“I called you for something else. And don’t you dare hang up on me next time! I want to have a serious conversation about…everything, about us, and most importantly about…” you sighed before continuing “About my ex situation.”
He took his hand off yours now that you seemed calmer. He was surprised by your willingness to talk about such matters. It was a pleasant surprise to him, it meant that you wanted to take things in hand, that you were growing.
“I’m listening to you.”
“I thought that it was only fair for you to know as well... that I fucked up pretty badly. I assumed that my ex cheated on me and as it turns out, he didn’t. I just learned it this evening so I feel very confused and bad. It’s a long story. It was just me, assuming things because I was scared and because I feared confrontation. Then everything happened so fast between you and me... I shouldn’t have... I feel very ashamed. For him, for you, for acting so immature.”
Your voice cracked and you couldn’t hold your tears any more. You looked down and started wiping your tears with both hands on your face. You didn’t want to cry in front of him because you had caused him pain as well. Sometimes not taking action is also an action and it has consequences.
You didn’t dare look at him, did he look disappointed? Did he stop loving you? After all, you didn’t even know the reason behind his love. Maybe he was “playing games” too as that anon suggested on Reddit. No, you couldn’t afford to assume things again now. You had to be honest, raw, vulnerable. You couldn’t see his reaction through your tears, but you felt his hand on the top of your head, gently bringing you towards him, resting your head on his shoulder.
“Wow, this really sucks.” You were surprised by his reaction, but the fact that it wasn’t one of disappointment as well as his easy-going demeanour released your stress. You started sobbing, shoulders shaking. He didn’t know how to react at first, but one thing he knew for sure: you came first, and he hated to see you cry.
“Shh... Here, here... It’s okay to cry... Let it all out...” He then continued “It’s going to turn out just fine. You can count on me, okay?”
“I was a really bad person. I should’ve acted differently. I should’ve at least told you... or Nami or someone... but I just... assumed things... I was so scared that you’d stop... that you’d stop being my... friend... And stop loving me…”
His grip tightened around your shoulder as he pressed you a bit closer to him. He offered you a warm smile as he spoke in the same light note.
“Well, whatever happened, happened. I don’t think that you are a bad person. You’re human and you made a mistake that you’re now aware of. I know that you had no ill intentions. At least you learned something, hm? And about me... Aren’t you underestimating me a bit?” He smiled in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Did you forget that I’m Luffy and Ace’s brother? I’m tough, you know.”
You were overwhelmed by his kindness, and this just made you realize that it wasn’t only about your feelings, you couldn’t count on everyone else to put up with you and clear up your mess.
“Sabo, you’re so kind.” Despite your mascara running under your eyes and you looking like a total mess, he found you incredibly beautiful. He felt proud, he knew how hard it was for you to go through all of this. He felt like it was worth it that he had loved you for this long, you were honest and strong, even if you weren’t aware of that strength, you had proven it in this moment.
“I’m not being kind.” He meant it; after all, his intentions weren’t all that innocent towards you, he had wanted you from the start. “I’m just being truthful, as your best friend.”
Maybe he wanted more, but he was content being your friend as well. Since for him everything needed time, he had no right to rush you.
Love is a matter of timing after all. Too fast and all of his subtle efforts would go to waste.
“About that... I mean... The “best friends” part...” He could easily see your chest heaving with your breath. Your heartbeat raising little by little until it was unbearable, your lower lip slightly trembling as you dreaded the weight of the words you were going to pronounce. He looked at you with genuine interest and curiosity; he laid off a bit, turning your way.
“I don’t think that we could act this way anymore...” You dug your nails into the palm of your hand nervously.
“I... told Katakuri about everything. I told him that I couldn’t be with him anymore because of how things have changed. I can’t be here and pretend that nothing happened when so much did…”
“Nothing has changed for me.” He said in a stable voice, trying to anticipate your reaction. Despite being sure of himself, of every step he had taken till now, he felt a hint of uncertainty, for this was a variable that he hadn’t taken into consideration.
“But everything changed for me, and I can’t ignore it. I can’t continue to play pretend... Of course it was convenient for me... And I didn’t wanna lose... Whatever it is that we have. But I didn’t realize that it had already changed. I can’t be your friend anymore, Sabo. Not like this. Not with these thoughts in mind. Not after…” Y our eyes flicked from his lips to his eyes and back. “After... everything we did.”
You didn’t give more reasons, but your eyes gave one hundred more.
We can’t be friends because I touched myself to the thought of you. Because I can’t help but think about being with you. Because I don’t stand the thought of you being with someone else. Because I love the way your arms fit around me. Because I love everything about you, from the way you say my name to these stupid blond eyelashes that reflect the light everytime you blink. And most importantly... because I love your way of loving me unconditionally.
As much as I want you...
As much as you want me back...
I can’t be with you, not now, because it would hurt me and hurt you even more, because I have to make a decision, because I can’t draw the line between love and lust and because I am afraid to wrong you in the way I was wronged.
But just for a moment, just for this time, you wanted to kiss him just one last time. You wanted to get intoxicated by that mint smell that you have grown addicted to. He looked at you as he drank your words, eyes reflecting the darkness of the sky. His piercing gaze seemed to understand your dilemma. Suddenly, the emptiness of the park felt too weighty and the air too heavy.
“Say something,” you pleaded, almost begging him to break the silence.
To words, he preferred actions. Before you even realized, he captured your lips into the kiss you were longing for. His hand was fast to encircle your back, pressing your upper body against his. Your fingers instinctively reached for the fabric of his shirt, tugging on it as to pull him closer. For him to kiss you so passionately, it only made you realize his burning desire for you. The more you kissed in an attempt to ease your craving, the hungrier you got for his lips, for his stupid minty taste. But it wasn’t nearly enough for you, the growing warmth and tingles created a desire that you were unable to appease yet. You pressed your legs together when his free hand gently rubbed your thigh. He kissed you deeply, almost willing you into giving up on your decision to give in to his embrace. He was indeed that good of a kisser, making you want to shift into his lap and have him inside of you. You whined at this thought growing more eager, tongue chasing his, teeth nibbling on his lips. But you eventually had to break the kiss, even when you prayed for the seconds to last for hours, it was bound to end. You took a moment to collect your breath again. His eyes were demanding, pupils dilated and greedy, yours were more modest, shifty.
“Looked like you were dying for it.”
He broke the silence, finger tracing your neck before lifting up your chin, making you lose composure as you looked into his deep gaze. It was too late to deny it, you were indeed dying for it. But instead of satiating you, that kiss felt like the promise of something forbidden. You only groaned meekly as an answer, feeling too weak to actively protest. You indulged in his embrace, resting your head in the crease of his neck. You breathed in his scent, even his hair smelled fresh like mint. As you took in a bigger gulp of air, you could inhale the subtleties of a thyme or violet underlying smell. What shampoo did he use? Another diverging thought that you discarded.
You closed your eyes. “Can we stay like this for a little longer?” you asked, and who was he to deny you so little? He revelled in your desperate need for his touch. He felt needed, wanted, but he knew that he shouldn’t get carried away, he knew that it wasn’t the right timing yet. So he just let you sink into his warmth. For now.
You peeled yourself off of him reluctantly. Your eyes avoided his. Nice progress ,he thought, but there was still need for improvement.
“I can’t be selfish, not anymore. I have to make a decision. I am sorry I can’t make up my mind yet.” Your voice cut through the silence, firm, yet not devoid of sensitivity.
You needed time, it was clear, but he was nothing if not patient with you. He was ready to settle for your friendship for now while he worked for your love, but he liked your idea more. He wasn’t one to push his emotions onto you, he was there to lead the dance, to toss a bottle into the sea. If good news came then good for him, if nothing came out then he had gambled and lost. But he wasn’t as detached and passive as things might have seemed, as he took multiple variables into consideration to place his best bet.
“Take all the time you need.” Not an ounce of annoyance was to be detected in his voice. It was steady, a rock that couldn’t be moved. He had what it took, he knew what he wanted and he was ready to wait for it because he had the deep belief that you were worth the wait.
“Why are you so patient? Don’t you think you’re too confident? Aren’t you scared? ” It was genuine curiosity, but you bit your tongue realizing that your words might’ve seemed cocky or doubting. His lips stretched into a roguish smile, making him devastatingly handsome. And here he was, a Sabo that you had encountered a few times between two eyelash beats. It was so destabilizing, the way he morphed into a totally different person from one second to another, giving you a strange feeling. It was something that you couldn’t fully place yet. He kept escaping from your grip while being totally still. He was like sand between your fingers and you were fascinated by the prospect of catching him.
“I thought that it was obvious, doll.” Here he goes again, calling you sweet names and raising the rhythm of your heartbeats. How did he make everything sound good? You would’ve scoffed at anyone else calling you ‘doll’, but that voice of his made it sound oh so appealing. Or maybe it was the seed of desire that he had planted in your core, that was now growing and blossoming, vines intertwining with your lungs.
He got closer again, black eyes scrutinizing yours.
“You can have all the time you need. What I want is simple, non-negotiable, immutable.”
At first he was startled; your ex appearing out of nowhere seemed like an inconvenience, but after giving it some thought, he realized that he was in luck. He didn’t have to make you choose, the choice was there for you to make.
“And what is it that you want?”
“You. But all of you.” He looked you up and down as he said this then got up. He wasn’t the type to settle for less. He wanted no compromises, no half-open doors, no half assed answers. If he wanted something then it was all of it, out of respect for you and for himself. Another reason was probably that he knew: the longer the chase, the bigger the prize.
He got up since he considered that the conversation was over now and it was also getting late. You looked at him, eyes wide open, cheeks aflame. His voice trailed off, cutting through the silence.
“No rush, I think that it’s better for you to focus on your exams for now. Will you manage without my help?” Another charming smile, shifting back to that playful Sabo you have always known. The mood felt less serious now.
“I think I’ll do just fine this time…” you smiled gently, following his lead.
“Good, then. Good night.” He put his hand on your head, softly ruffling your hair before turning back. He seemed a bit more distant now, like he was plunged into some deep reverie. You instinctively got up, looking intensely at his back slowly fading into the darkness. Before his silhouette got completely enveloped, you shouted.
“Sabo!”
He turned back instantly and you threw something in the air towards him. He was quick to catch it.
“I don’t think I need these anymore. Take them!”
He opened his hands, looking at the packet of menthol cigarettes and a blue lighter. He put it into his back pocket prior to giving you a proud smile. He then continued his way back home, leaving you behind. You felt both relieved because things had gotten a bit clearer, yet apprehensive since your feelings were still very much unclear. But maybe what you felt above all was exhaustion. You looked for a moment at your empty hands. Did you make the right choice? Whether it was good or bad, you couldn’t care less. At least you had acted true to yourself.
tag list : @chloenanami @mwls-garden @soanywaysistartedsimping @portgaslari @lofi-coffee @donvampiro @fishandfuck @vemuabhi @gabrielasalazar18 @kiriechanx
#slow and steady#sabo x reader#sabo the revolutionary#one piece x reader#one piece sabo#sabo#one piece imagines#one piece scenario#one piece fanfiction#sabo x you#sabo imagines#revolutionary sabo#charlotte katakuri#katakuri x reader
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