There is no other version of this story. War of the Foxes, Richard Siken

mann im still thinking about that one foolish stream jaiden was on and was talking to him and forever (?) and said basically, “yeah roier is my platonic partner.” And like that alone fucking kills me but what nukes my tombstone is that IS. she said IS!! present tense roier IS her platonic partner. he’s married to cellbit but that doesnt change what they have!! cellbit Is roier’s romantic partner and jaiden Is roier’s platonic partner and one does not negate the other and fucking. it’s jaiden who says that. jaiden who was surprised to be invited to their wedding. she’s no less important to roier and she Knows that now. she was so reluctant to take up space in roier’s life (and i cant stop thinking about the house she built and then abandoned to live in his, and then to refer to the house as his) but here she is. roier has a new partner now but that doesnt mean she’s been replaced it just means that there’s a new place in his heart for a husband to go. she doesnt have to leave to make space he wants her to stay and she knows that.

YAYYY MISHA THEME!!!

MISHA 💖💓🩷❤️💕💖💓🩷💖❤️💖💓💓💖🩷💓

is there a specific order you like to listen to the red vault tracks in? i’ve been thinking about this a lot ever since 1989 tv came out because the 1989 vault tracks tell such a cohesive story so i’ve been trying to figure out how to do that with the red vault

YES ITS LIKE. THE ALBUM TO REARRANGE FOR ME I GENUINELY HAVENT LISTENED TO THE ORIGINAL TRACKLIST IN YEARS NOW

i think i’ve run through it before but here’s my thoughts on the mains tracklist

state of grace: perfect opener no notes

22: this is and holy ground can switch for me, i think either makes a fantastic track two, but it’s hard to pass up 22 track 2. also i like how the second song and the second to last song parallel each other

treacherous: building off of 22’s “you look like bad news, i gotta have you”

i knew you were trouble: it’s the obvious mirror of treacherous, and also i think it’s important to establish the emotion->exact opposite emotion flip of the tracklist, and treacherous and ikywt are a really obvious example of that

all too well: i mean what else can you choose. also it’s a good flip of ikywt because it’s all the moments where it DIDN'T feel like trouble

wanegbt: “i remember it all too well 😔” -> “I REMEMBER WHEN WE BROKE UP 😡🙄” is just an insane whiplash. ALSO track sixes are such a hard landing to stick and can easily be overshadowed by the track five, and having a song that’s already been released kinda lets the song simultaneously have its moment beforehand and let you kinda check out on your first listen through while you recover from atw

come back be here: i think cbbh really just deserves a main album slot, mostly cause it deserved to be played on tour, but i also think it’s a great whiplash from wanegbt and a great lead in to…

the last time: it takes the more crush-focused aspects of cbbh and plays them out to the bitter end, just that cycle of always leaving and coming back and leaving again. also it’s the end of the first half of the album

red: it’s a great pick me up in the middle of three mellow songs, also i can’t separate this from run which i can’t separate from sad beautiful tragic and i can’t put sad beautiful tragic right before all too well so it needs to be further down the tracklist

run: “loving him was like driving a new maserati down a dead end street” -> “give me the keys, i’ll bring the car back around” makes me go CRAZY

sad beautiful tragic: THE AMOUNT OF PARALLELS WITH RUN IS INSAAAAAAAANE

holy ground: again this is a bit of a floater like i could see an argument for this being track two. and the argument is it goes hard at the start of the red tour

better man: this just needs to be by the end of the album for me. it feels like the start of the summary, wrapping up what we’ve learned and starting the hard work of moving on that the last few tracks will continue

i bet you think about me: that first verse really stretching out the betterrrrr’s after better man is funny. also, after an album of one sided pining in one way or another, it’s just like hey. fuck you. also, at first it kinda bugged me how the last few tracks starts at 4am, then 3am, then the middle of the night, but then i started seeing them as just slowly losing less and less sleep over it, which i kinda love now

nothing new: here is the damage i am left with. even if i move on from this relationship, here is the mindset that will whisper in the back of my mind forever— that i am valuable because of my youth, that my happiness is mockable and my sadness is quaint. this is the thing that led me to the relationship and this is the thing that i will be left with after it

begin again: and then… begin again. choosing happiness, choosing maturity, choosing childlike joy. like, you all know it’s an amazing closer, but after nothing new it just sings

+ forever winter: i think this does add important context to her general mental state? like 22 mentions how everyone is miserable, but really focuses on the highs of being 22. forever winter adds to it, how your peer group is falling apart and even when you are at your worst, you are being someone else's shoulder to lean on. it's not Needed to tell the story, but it is a good bonus.

+ starlight: more good context, especially in taylor's personal life-- as far as i can tell, this is the first song she wrote for red that Wasn't about crash and burn heartbreak, and it really kicked into high gear an obsession with vintage fashion and mid century celebrities that she ended up building part of her personality around. she's not just trying to find her old self again, she's building a new one

+babe: what am i supposed to do, not end the album with this is the last time i'll ever call you babe?

+ state of grace (acoustic), the red demo, and all too well (ten minute version) to get the tracklist to 22 and also fun bts context!

post title pending. my weird swap au

this is the post im making for scratchswap, my au where i switch the post-scratch kids with the post-scratch trolls sharing their aspect (dirk-nepeta, roxy-equius, jake-eridan, and jane-feferi) and then the pre scratch dudes get swapped accordingly. yes this bc of the Parallels between feferi and jane and then i got a whole Thing out of it. im working on classpects/ages. characters under the cut

pre-scratch trolls

note for the record i did not think much about these guys

johune peixes: i have done 0 thinking on johune so sorry. theyre swapped w meenah and everyones really confused about how that funny little guy was a huge scary empress in every other universe

rozela zahhak: the sorcerer wooooo! pretty similar to canon rose shes just really fucking strong. good friends w aranea

dayves leijon: im still not 100% sure how to go about this one tbh but he does like romance in some form. also i got in in my head hes skittish. no idea where that came from. capitalizes b (glasses) and maybe something else?

jaidli ampora: oh i actually thought about this one a little! fashion is sorta fifties inspired like cronus but shes not a greaser thats his schtick. you dont steal a mans shtick. is there a c in that word or not

post scratch trolls

jaynce peixes: feels like i should work on that name huh. anyways jaynce does Not want to be the heiress (for reasons both transgender and not) at all and is in a little bit of denial about this. i lied actually a lot of denial. may or may not be moirails w jayque havent decided. replaces e and o with -E and -O forks and spoons!

roxxie zahhak: a little more into robots n shit than coding but still does that. bit of a jack of all trades! thinks deyirks lusus (its. kity) is the most special boy in the whole wide world. probably moirails w deyirk now that i think abt it but maybe not. im on the fence abt a lot of stuff here. uses some kind of prefix, emoticons have X for eyes, replaces x sounds with x, y (as a vowel) with ie, and s w z

deyirk leijon: WORLDS MOST NORMAL MAN (lying) lives in a cave in the middle of the woods not for catgirl reasons but because this guy is going insane in solitude works best when isolated. also uses some kind of prefix for a quirk. roxxie drops off robot parts at his house every few weeks and they make a day of it theyre Pals

jayque ampora: he helps feed gloybsub or whatever her name is and hes so normal about the deaths on his conscience. really hes so normal guys cmon. normal

pre scratch kids

mimi egbert: token cis friend sorry meenah. or not idc. more mellow because dad egbert is just a normal guy and isnt raising her to be the literal queen of the world. still meenah tho

hans lalonde: i am unsure about the name but i think its fine. the ultimate horse girl (therian). keeps maplehoof in the foyer. if he had to interact with his dad for more than 20 seconds they would both implode from the sheer awkwardness. the house is big as shit they just gesture to each other when they see each other and thats fine for both of them

manu strider: wears heart shades everywhere as a sort of joke. he doesnt actually know. caps lock is broken and refuses to fix it + uses kaomoji a lot. fujoshi to transmasc pipeline haha who said that

crow harley: im stilling working on which animal to furrify cronus with. watches a bunch of old movies and picked up those speaking habits. other shit pending

post scratch kids

fifi crocker: she wants to be crockercorps new ceo sosososo bad she would make up for all of their horrible crimes against humanity by uh. shes working on it ok?

neta strider: the she/her to she/they to they/them to he/they to he/him to he/they to she/he/they to The Creature pipeline. percentage of their diet that is fish he caught w her own bare hands has been steadily increasing. is trying to buff up on history but keeps on going down wikipedia rabbit holes and rereading the nyan cat article for the thousandth time. would still do the detective pony rewrite but would get sidetracked by the lolcat metaphor for way longer

eqis lalonde: do you know how hard it is to smush equius down to four letters? i just made this name up man. anyways i dunno what to do with her but shes a girl of the horse variety

dani english: diversity win this sickly victorian orphan child is genderfluid! fucking terrified of the lusi on the island. fancies herself sort of a romantic poet

the entirety of this was brainstormed while i was bored in class for the record. still brainstorming so im gonna edit this when more shit arises

please tell me the otto and reinhard rare pair analysis

HAH thank you for asking because your ask is finally pushing me to finish that analysis 🙏 ok lets get into it… this is. a very long analysis!!

so firstly—the suwens and astreas have briefly crossed paths before. i cant 100% go into detail because i still havent finished the wilhelm and theresia centric ex novels, but rezero wiki says this about ottos grandfather (yaktol):

(veltol and tishua are theresias parents btw)

theres also the fact that the suwens’ hometown is picoutatte, which is historically where stride vollachia caused A Shit Ton of chaos that the astreas and wilhelm had to fight back against. wilhelm and kurgan (someone close to stride) dueled there, and then theres the fact that stride not too long after that summons a dragon in picoutatte using the sacrifices of twenty Divine Protection holders T^T on top of causing a shit ton of other deaths as well!! so like—yes suwens and astreas have kind of sort of briefly crossed paths apart from the suwens definitely knowing the astreas because the astreas are Famous.

ok now moving on to otto and reinhard specifically—they parallel in a lot of ways, and the first way is their families. the suwens are an established and decently well known merchant family based in picoutatte, known as the commercial city. the astreas, of course, are well known for the sword saint line and are very much a warrior family. the roles and career paths otto and reinhard go down follow in their family’s footsteps Exactly, but of course the key difference is that otto has a loving family.

the thing with ottos divine protection is that it wouldve been Extremely easy for him to go insane with it, and iirc there Have been other people than otto to get his divine protection and then Go Insane, so theres a sense that otto turning out mostly alright is a Rarity. and i think that makes sense, because a dp where your senses are Constantly Overwhelmed from birth because of all the constant noise from animals? like otto is right in saying thats literal hell. and thats not to mention that sometimes animals and nature are Brutal, so little kid otto is taking in All of this. but i think otto in large part turned out alright because of his family. they were patient and loving with him and his parents took him to every doctor they could in order to figure out what was bothering otto. his older brother oslo eventually taught him to read and write and Communicate and like—i think its SO telling that oslo and oslo and otto’s parents START CRYING when otto starts communicating by writing down “thank you for everything” to them. like they care for otto and this is such a Huge Milestone on top of those sweet words after otto hasnt been able to respond to any of them, so Of Course the other suwens get emotional. and in general otto being Plagued with bad luck and getting into All Sorts of Trouble, including being chased out of his own hometown by assassins, is like. the suwens are again patient and loving with otto and try to help him out the best they can (such as when they got him merchant connections after he left his hometown so he could be a traveling merchant). theres also frufoo, ottos ground dragon (whos BASICALLY family to him, given how much she acts like a grandma and how close they are), who was most likely acquired by ottos family since iirc ottos known her since he was a kid!! and then otto also Chooses to become a merchant like most of his family. ottos younger brother regin becomes a vet (which is a decision inspired by otto because regin grew to love animals because of otto!!), so otto Really was not required to become a merchant. but he chose to Anyway because thats his passion and thats where his skills lie in.

and in regards to reinhard, well. ok we all know how awful his family gets towards him, but similar to otto—reinhard is born with divine protections. Many of them. and they all affect how he sees and experiences the world, similar to otto, but to a more Extreme extent in ways different to otto. like reinhard in that sense Isnt unlucky like otto is. i mean ottos luck had him in situations like nearly drowning as a baby or falling down stairs (implying that otto mightve been one of those kids that gets scrapes and bruises everywhere bc he keeps getting into shenanigans akdndn). but reinhard because of his dps has basically No Normal Experience. like he doesnt get sick. he doesnt get physically hurt in a lot of ways. etc etc. reinhard also has the ability to get ottos exact dp if reinhard ever gets into a situation where he specifically needs it. but reinhard of course doesnt have a choice in so much of this. otto of course didnt choose to be born with his dp, but he learns to function with his dp and use it to his advantage (including making animal friends!! like frufoo!!) with the help of his family. reinhard is. well because of his family situation and DP situation hes been Almost entirely on his own his whole life. and reinhard IS on his own because of how. special. he is. that and he of course has Zero say in whether he wants to be the sword saint or not. the world has decided that for him and he Has to do it. theres no choice there. otto and reinhard both have the legacy of their families behind them, but otto embraces it and reinhard is Forced into it. reinhard Suffers because of his familys legacy. meanwhile, the reason why otto manages to go on with his life as a mostly hopeful person is Because of his familys love!!

additionally, reinhard and otto grew up lonely. like reinhard only makes his first friend, julius, when reinhards fourteen. and ottos first Human friend is subaru, when ottos like twenty!! otto of course struggled to make human friends as a kid because he was behind in his social development and also accidentally did shit like Summon a whole Swarm of Insects into his town, so no duh otto didnt make human friends T^T for otto and reinhard its hard to make human connections when your dps make you So Different from the people around you!! how do you connect with others then? except ottos dp is in of itself About connection. his dp is entirely based on the ability to communicate—with animals, yes, but we see him make all kinds of animal friends throughout his life. again, frufoo’s his lifelong ground dragon companion, and otto often calls on the help of animals (who CHOOSE to help him). so otto wasnt Entirely lonely, especially when he had his family, hence why he very much did not turn out Super depressed as a teen and adult. reinhard of course was Very Lonely. on the other hand.

that, and i think it cant be denied that reinhard and ottos later connections to subaru are in some way Special to them. subaru was the one person who had no idea what the astreas and sword saints are and just saw reinhard For reinhard, which reinhard probably latches onto a bit, especially given the fact that reinhard just claims subaru as a best friend when the two havent even interacted that much in the main route? when you factor in reinhard if from lost in memories, subaru being special to reinhard gets clearer too—reinhard in that route just constantly comes to subarus aid EVEN IF subaru doesnt even call him. reinhard basically acts like a puppy eagerly following you and wagging its tail, and subaru is special because of his Particular attitude of being so Loud and Bold. which is also what draws otto to subaru!! otto specifically was captured by the witch cult and subarus decisions in main route lead to him being saved, and then later otto notes that from the moment hes met subaru, subaru acts like theyve always been close friends—which of course endears otto to subaru. to the point where otto RISKS HIS LIFE in sanctuary helping subaru and then he chooses to follow subaru into emilia camp. i think that the thing with reinsuba vs ottosuba is that reinhard wants friends and to be Equal and close to someone so badly, while otto was pretty decently content being a traveling merchant for years with just frufoo at his side. subaru, like many other people, looks Up to reinhard… but theyre not exactly equals because of reinhards status and power and reinhard is painfully aware of that. otto and subaru on the other hand are arguably the closest to being equals out of everyone, i think—in status and power levels and intellect and the roles they play in their camp. and by arc 5, reinhard is aware of otto of course being the emilia camps internal affairs minister and also being a close friend to subaru—and speaking of the reinhard-otto rarepair, i do think reinhard might even be a little bit jealous, if you really want to go that route. otto is a close friend and Equal to subaru. reinhard wants that so badly because no matter how much he registers his friends as his equals, his friends dont usually tend to see Him as an equal. and to otto, subaru is HIS closest friend!!

also speaking of arc 5. OTTO is the one that breaks up the hostage situation with felt and heinkel and reinhard. and because otto broke up that situation somehow, reinhard was able to finally join the fight in arc 5. theres an otto side story where felt and reinhard take the time to thank otto for this too, but like. can you imagine being otto and walking in on heinkel holding felt and reinhard hostage….. thatd be so incredibly awkward…… but anyway!! i think it is so horrible and funny in the context of reinhard-otto wkdndnd. otto is the one person who saw that shit happening and helped reinhard and felt out there hah.

but also speaking of arc 5. otto chooses to pick up roswaal’s burnt book of wisdom and otto decides to RESTORE it. otto bringing that damn book to priestella is also what helps draw the sin archbishops to the city??? and the reason why otto does this is because he doesnt trust roswaal and otto wants to restore the book just to read it and then destroy it so no one else gets to that info. and otto keeps the fact that he has the book secret for A WHOLE YEAR. otto has a habit of doing shit like this—doing things that HE thinks is best with barely any regard for anyone else—which reinhard cant afford to do. reinhards the sword saint and hes under the control of the kingdom and he Has to follow orders. meanwhile otto gets leeway because hes 1. very much a normal guy in comparison and 2. because hes “Normal”, hes hidden in the background both literally and Narratively and so he can just do shit like keep the book of wisdom just for his own reasons. Without As Much Personal Consequence. like reinhard does what he thinks is best too, but he cant afford to Not think of others bc his inherent power (and also family trauma…. and being brainwashed by the kingdom…) makes him painfully aware that the consequences of his actions are going to be significantly High if he fucks up. and quite frankly ottos morality is like. he has the morality of a chocolate eclair and im only half joking. well, more specifically, otto follows and treasures merchant ideals—which MAKES SENSE bc he Is a merchant from a merchant family—but he also denies knightly ideals. like with a Passion. otto doesnt see the point in living for ideals and then going out of your way to help others at a Detriment to yourself. like otto is very transactional that way—there has to be a benefit of some kind to him. if youre kind to him, he’ll repay you. if youre cruel, he’ll Also repay you in some way. and then on the other hand. you have reinhard. reinhard’s EVERYTHING is all about knightly ideals. he is THE pinnacle of knightly ideals. he HAS to try and save everyone even if its a detriment to himself and he doesnt even Register it as a detriment to himself because this is just his duty and his purpose. all this shit that otto does with the book of wisdom and then later otto’s Everything in arc 8 with how he supports the idea of just going back to lugunica and letting all 50 million Vollachian citizens figure their shit out by themselves—reinhard WOULD NOT agree. at all. otto chooses like the ten people he cares about the most and decides very pragmatically that everyone else is Less Important. and yeah of course reinhard has people he cares about More, but reinhard 1000% WILL go out of his way to help others. reinhard WILL try to help his family even though theyre shitty to him. meanwhile, if youre shitty to otto, hes either gonna say fuck you and leave (see: greed if) or hes gonna find a way to fight back against you. like unless hes held captive in some way with no hope of freedom (or if youre emilia camp and he Cares about you and knows you also care about him), hes not gonna take poor treatment without at least a Bit of a fight (and even if youre emilia camp, otto WILL complain the ENTIRE TIME and will not shut up <3). reinhard though? yeah emotionally hes gonna fold like a wet blanket the moment youre even Remotely mean to him.

but like adding onto the idea that reinhard would not Approve of otto….. OTTOS AN ALCOHOLIC. LIKE. like theres no question about it, otto canonically drinks when hes stressed out and the others call it his “drinking time” 😭😭😭👍👍 like ottos anxiety is out of wack (his stomach apparently hurts + theres the implication hes lost weight from stress wkdndnd) and im 100% sure he self medicates with alcohol. so like i Imagine the moment reinhard gets to know otto on a deeper level then reinhard is not gonna be happy about Any of the above info (ottos alcoholism + chocolate eclair morality). reinhards gonna be like “wtf otto :((( :<<<“. like hilariously speaking i think reinhards gonna give more shit to otto than heinkel akdndnd like otto is CLOSE to subaru and i think reinhard after being helped by otto especially is also like haha otto seems alright!! and then the moment reinhard learns more about otto its gonna be like. words cannot describe it let me find a reaction picture.

there.

BECAUSE LIKE i think reinhard would trust otto a bit like in the sense that yeah otto is trusted by subaru!!! otto aided in the siege of priestella!! otto helped reinhard and felt!!!! and then otto turns around and does Questionable things and reinhards like “noooooo wtf is this :((((“. its like a weird mini betrayal HAH, is how i imagine reinhard/otto as a rare pair. like i think theyre gonna BUTT HEADS. the idea of otto being one of the only people reinhard comes close to disliking is Hilarious to me. like of course reinhard isnt gonna give heinkel shit bc reinhard is 1. brainwashed into thinking everything is his fault and 2. thats his dad. reinhard sees otto though and reinhards like WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT :<<<< YOURE LIKE THE BAD PARTS OF MY DAD. and then like subaru and felt are like the good parts of his dad. bold and passionate. otto meanwhile is Petty As Hell, complains a lot, and is an alcoholic akdndnd which is Also like reinhards dad. rip reinhard. otto is the functional alcoholic foil to heinkel ig 😭👍

meanwhile ottos thoughts on reinhard are like—theres a wariness and intimidation i think, because YEAH reinhards the sword saint and otto of course knows that, but im pretty sure otto just thinks reinhard Is a wet blanket after walking in on the felt-heinkel-reinhard hostage situation. and then otto heard reinhard blaming himself for that afterwards. like otto Pities reinhard for the shit reinhard has to deal with, i think, and on a deeper level i think otto could be weirdly endeared to reinhard. i mean otto already cares about One stupid hero complex knight (subaru) and otto Already cares about another stupid hero complex person too (garfiel) (also emilia <3 who has a lot of parallels to reinhard anyway!!). ottos gonna be like god reinhards so fucking stupid. i cant Exactly leave him alone…. like we see otto having sympathy for emilia before he even meets and gets to know her, so i think itd be similar with reinhard. otto would get that reinhard doesnt Exactly have a lot of agency, and of course astrea family drama Is Loud As Hell so otto has pity for reinhard of course. otto with his healthy familial relationships is like WOW that sucks. so like i think the rein-otto dynamic is reinhard being like “ew otto :<<“ and being Perhaps a bit passive aggressive while ottos like “GOD hes just like my entire camp!!!! stupid and naive!!!!!!! i cant NOT leave him alone actually!!!!”. which is fucking hilarious to me akdndndnd

and. lastly. prophecy of the throne shows a more in depth look at reinhard and otto meeting each other in one scene—of course those versions of reinhard and otto are slightly different because prophecy of the throne is AU arc 3, but like i think its interesting to factor in bc its reinotto crumbs!!! like reinhard is like “oh subaru whos this? :o” and ottos like panicking and freaking out hes like “WHAT?? WAAAA ITS THE SWORD SAINT?? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE CALM RN???” bc hes literally meeting a celebrity rn and subaru did not tell him shit and reinhards like “haha if youre friends with subaru you can just call me reinhard 😅” like the reinotto meeting is the most awkward funny shit of all time wkdndnd. so im sure the rest of their dynamic is gonna be awkward and messy 👍👍 and if reinhard ever gets ottos dp too, they can go and awkwardly hold hands and go out squeaking at animals together LMAO. theyre both so cringe fail that their dynamic is gonna be the most cringe thing youve ever seen 😭😭

and adding onto my hypothetical breakups tier list post. yes i do think they would try to pretend nothing happened. reinhard manages bc his whole thing is that he seems unfazed by things (is actually Not Unfazed). ottos whole thing is that he seems like a crybaby, is a crybaby (without actually crying that much), but is also decidedly Secretly Insane the more you look into him bc of how he Literally and Narratively hides in the background a lot, so ottos just gonna be getting drunk and then blabbing about reinhard to everyone who comes near him akdndndn. otto and reinhard are both Emotionally Messes when they dont seem like theyre as messy as others but theyre MESSY!!! theyre gonna be messy!!! im not sure how reinotto would ever start but like you could shove them into shenanigans together and they could get up to the Stupidest shit and thats how they grow a Weird Relationship out of it wjdndn. otto being otto is probably also like “this is GOOD politically bc cultivating a good relationship with felt camp and the sword saint is very important!!” while reinhard is head empty and going “ah yes otto 🙂 subarus other friend!!”. and i would Love to explore more of what their dybamic would be, yes.

owarimonogatari ge spoilers. rgu spoilers too i think

himemiya anthy and oshino ougi are both girls who exist for guys

and yeah i hear you thinking what, misogyny ?! toxic masculinity ?! thats not a big part of ougis arc and yeah it isnt and also other gender stuff BUT. the spirit is still there!! and i have to say it in that way first to do anthy's part justice

bc they Are both people who exist solely for others sake. their ability to define their own existences have been taken away from them. they have no agency! anthy obviously but also ougi has never had agency. ougi was created by araragi to do certain things he couldn't do himself, and this was literally the sole purpose of their existence. if ur in that situation what are you gonna do? not do it? and probably like, cease to exist bc the universe's internal coding is a total asshole? you don't have a choice, you just gotta accept the burden.

they're very silly and goofy and sinister and smiley about it of course but like. i'll say it now a lot of those smiles are not happy. i mean you look at the light novels oshino "ppl are so dumb i have to laugh at them but im crying when im laughing" ougi (edgelord ougi confirmed? LOL ok ok not really) oshino 'araragi theorizes her smile was poignant bc she knew how short her life would be' ougi like yeah ok. get a life, literally. lol (note this is also. for those who have read it. what ougi stay is about. and what my next big thing is going to be about. this is what the significance. anyway)

and anthy does the same thing! all this fucked up shit happens around her and To her and she just watches it all with the same smile like nothing's wrong. the parallels are insane you guys you cant make this shit up. anthy smiling like nothing is wrong during the duels before slowly realizing she doesn't want to be separated from utena is the same as ougi smiling while about to be erased forever even though she doesnt want to die. its parallels!!!!!! even where ougi's situation gets a little muddied with her being Literally araragi (even though she is still the part of him that he ejected and pushed all this work onto and still just exists for him at first so i wouldnt say this is a point against my analysis here), it still very much applies. and that part of 'being him' can loop back around and extend anthy if you want it to. she does whatever her fiancee wants her to, is molded to and reflects them. a reflection-- is that not, in a very big sense, what ougi is for araragi? you could even say that for anthy, the fiancee of the rose bride's attempted domination of her is a way to dominate the femininity within them, to quell and control it. (if this doesnt make sense my excuse is that i havent finished watching yet. but i think it does make sense, and a lot of it, actually)

theyve both got their Roles to play, and play them they do. anthy, the rose bride, and ougi, the culprit, the bad guy. i think about that 'bad guy' framing a lot too btw. when ougi is talking about her unfazed appearance when faced with Forever Death Via Black Hole, shes like 'don't you hate it when in mystery novels the bad guy is so calm in the face of their comeuppance? yeah that sucks so just letting you know im terrified 👍. gotta wonder what happens when your matter gets erased completely yk. like whats that gotta be like lol.' (not even exaggerating at all really) (also shes so funny she relates everything to mystery novels bc she loves them thats so sweet and real i love that :)) (and then she proceeded to say 'nah i think the culprit should kill themself instead' but i wont get into it)

theyve also both got those cute little interests come to think of it. anthy loves like animals and stuff and ougi loves their mysteries. are these two the Same Character (joking) (but really they should hang out)

theres a line in one of the short stories that summarizes it really well, describing ougi as 'a puppet who had come to life.' and yeah, basically. it's implied to be after the ougi dark resolution so there i have even more ✨textual evidence✨ but like fr. its an incredibly apt description for ougi. if yotsugi is a doll, then ougi is a puppet, who has gained agency (and thats the thing, rgu and monogatari are giving these agency-robbed characters agency, thats what ougi dark did, and im like p sure thats what rgu is going to do i havent finished it lol but i did get sorta spoiled on the ending so i think its gonna. in monogatari... its more rocky i feel. its not cut and dry, its not like whoops you have agency forever completely now. its like you Kinda have it. you Maybe Mostly have it. it's complicated i'm writing about it)... i wonder when yotsugi will get her agency, but part of me wonders if nisioisins plan is that she wont. because she's a doll, she's too stuck, she's fixed to what others need her for, she can't work by herself. she hasn't "come to life" yet like ougi has (being a corpse might do that to you)

anyway uhhhh i'm right good night

Dearest Alex, I just got around to reading Soulswap and... i have thoughts. mostly i have feelings, but they are also accompanied by thoughts. Girl... Fristly I need you to know that i had to open my laptop and sit my ass on my desk to write this. Like... there's no messing around. The tears I just cried... omg And the thing is I know I played myself because just as I was reading I was hit by this sudden feeling that I thought I'd read somewhere in the tags a "hurt/no comfort" adjacent thingy. But I paid it no mind. I just kept going and now here we are. And you did this to me on the day i decided to experiment with eyeliner! Okay but on a more serious note, if i did end up crying like a child it's because you managed to hit all the emotional bits one by one. you just didnt miss. Disclaimer, I havent watched a single episode of mha nor am i familiar with any of the characters. Still, you managed to write them in such a way that to me they were clearly developed not only throughout this story but like also from the very first paragraphs when they were introduced. Such a good job! Usually in fandom we are all familiar to some extent with the characters but for me as a complete blank canvas you did great! The thing that brought me to your askbox though was the cyberpunk part of the fic. Now i may be a bit sensitive to the topic because for the past semester i havent done jack shit except for reading psothumanist theory but god fucking damn it i will never Not be a whore for this type of literature. Because girl what do you mean that you both managed to describe the suffocating and loud and isolating and fast paced and restrictive atmosphere of the city (btw the only thing i know about cyberpunk is the video essays about the launching of the game from way back) only to then hit us in the head with the softest most human scenes ive read in a while? let me tell you about my favourite lines.

#1 Nature rules!

The city on the other side of you is bright, flickering and flashing despite the downpour of rain. You didn’t notice it when you were in the garage but Bakugou had modified his bike to light up, the inner trim of the wheels is set alight with bright neon orange lights.

because - and please call me insane for it but i cant help myself when i see good writing it just makes my heart fuzzy- this line makes me chew glass. I think it's because of the way humanity and what it means to be human is depicted here, and the cyberpunk frame is a perfect sandbox for that. So this is a very restrictive city, it's raining and one can suppose it is rather cloudy, and we know that the majority of the lighting is artificial and neon and comes from the stores or the buildings or whatnot. So as the city is this enormous entity, all encompasing, the light provided by it although bright is "flickering" and "flashing".

While the artificial is overpowering the natural (see how the "bright" light of the city is still dominating "despite the downpour of rain") i find it fascinating how the human still manages to prevail.

Not only that but in a way that makes it look like it's the human element that reinstates the natural. To me it looks like the description of the lights on his wheels is like a parallel to a vibrant sunset ("set alight" and "bright [neon] orange lights"). And the fact that it is the human that seeps into the constructed and artificial isin a way stated somewhat literally ("Bakugou had modified his bike to light up"). #2 The reciprocal (?) relationship between the natural and the human. See:

The city eventually bleeds out into green, grass and trees that tower high into the sky. You’ve never been here before.

and also:

The city is obscured by the number of trees and large shrubs [...] [...] “Yeah, been comin’ here since I first moved here. It’s the only place with some real grass.”

I just love how even though the city has been built up to be this unavoidable sort of prison cell there is still a place where despite all the might of it, the city is unable to reach them. There is still a pure space, a free space, unaffected and unpolluted. The trees are taller than the high rises, the shrubs more compacted than the packed appartments and shops. This is a place where the city has no influence, it "bleeds out" and all there is is green and freedom. A place where the only thing to reach the sky is something that has roots deep in the soil.

A place where this image, of something tall enough to connect the earth and the sky is not meant to show the enclosure of humanity but instead to underline the hope and the freedom and the ability to reach for the sky, I am feral i dont think you understand. While the buildings remind the people of how they are stuck on the grownd the trees and a helpful guide leading their eyes towards the endless expanse of the sky Alex i love this!

Lastl but not least #3 What it means to be human - the little things

Now i will admit, i am being a bit lazy and cowardly in not daring to talk about the ending but in my defence 1- i am only human (hehe) and 2- this part although much more subtle kicked my teeth in, punched me in the gut and called me a bitch.

I will preface this by saying that, if you ask me, the kickass thing about any cyberpunk setting (or related setting) is that by taking your subject -in this case human beings- and putting them in a completely extreme and unknown environment -aka a world in which cyborgs and AI and enhanced humans exist- you can more easily examine what the actual core of "human" is. By creating a "post-" world you can expose and study the "human" for the most basic, essential parts of it.

for me those were some of them:

He tosses you from his grip onto the plushness of his bed, the sheets still rumpled from the morning when he didn’t bother to make it. 

Your fingers skate along the sharp edges of his muscles, pressing into the places where the fat resides.

You’re just as scarred as he is, but yours are so different from his. He can see the almost invisible lines where someone has taken a scalpel to you and modified your body.

i love those lines so much i dont even have any words to say. if i were less feral about them i might be able to analyze and talk about them more. Alas.

I will say this though, it's the little reminders of inefficiency and sloppiness and messiness and whatnot that i love so much. the unmade bed is such a beautiful touch in a world in which humans are made into literal machines to work harder to survive. to become efficient and productive. to always be on the grind. and my mad... he didnt make his bed. why? because he was bored, because he forgot, because he is not tidy, because he didnt see the point if he was going to sleep again- it doesnt matter why! all that matters is that he didnt make the bed and i love him for it! also "the places where the fat resides" is such a beautiful and soft and loving reminder of his humanity -not in the philosophical sense- but in the sense of his embodied existence, his physical presense. There is no enhancement, no metal or anything artificial. no toned muscles here, no hardness in this specific part of his body. no modifications. just plain old, soft and heartbreakingly human fat. i-.... i blue screened it's such a sweet and beautiful line i- i cannot think any more stuff to say although trust! i am feeling quite a lot of thoughts.

even the modifications though are not enough to subtract from the sheer, brilliant human-ness, from the beauty of those two people expressing their care and softness and lust and need for one another. just two people, on a messy unmade bed, showing their affection to one another in the most physical way possible. wah! shuddup shuddup shuddup!!!

long story short - and i am SO SORRY for this huge ass ask but i needed you to know! you deserve and have earned to know what your creation and art does to people!- i loved this fic even if it was not upon first glance written for me. i had promised you waaay back that i would do sth similar for cor unum but.... that would be an antire fucking thesis and im not ready yet! i just needed you to know that your writing not only does not go unappreciated but on the contrary, this particular fic reminded me exactly why im studying what i study, rekindled my love for posthumanist theory and also really fucking moved me. thank you so much for taking all that time to think about and write and post this story, and your writing in general, Alex <3 P.S. Since we're talking about cyberpunk and posthumanism and post-apocalyptic stuff, allow me to recommend you and anyone else reading this long ass ask to read "We" by Yevgeny Zamyatin. I think you'd enjoy the angst of the whole thing. take care <3

I'm gonna put a read more since this is going to be long with me replying to it all LMAO

When I tell you I nearly cried reading this like, idk, it's just something else to have someone analyse your work so deeply and find these emotional connections; I always forget what it's like to connect with people through fanfiction. I assume people just read and move on, but to read this--it's just, idk, it makes me emotional (in a very good way!!)

First and foremost, thank you so much for reading despite not being in the MHA fandom - I know a lot of people don't like reading outside of their fandoms and this is a BIGGGG fic to dive into when you don't know the characters. I'm very glad I was able to still immerse you though into the world because I really do love Cyberpunk/post-world stuff like this.

You're also not the first, and probably not the last person to overlook the hurt/no comfort tag. I really do to town when I say it's a bad ending LOL. I'm sorry for the eyeliner!!!

This is genuinely so interesting though, to have my work read through the eyes of someone who is essentially studying what I'm writing & to have it validated, it's just such a great feeling. As you know with Cor Unum, I do a lot of research into whatever I'm writing. I've been a big fan of Cyberpunk for some time, and I think a lot of the time people focus hard on the whole superhuman, futuristic human you can be in that type of world - which is cool too! But I think at the end of the day, they are still very much human. Unless they're straight-up cyborgs/A.I. lol

I liked flipping between human moments and these 'cyberpunk moments', I wanted it to be very obvious that these people are "infected" with this need to have chrome & augmentations that could lead to their demise but as well as showing beneath all that metal, there's a human too.

Admittedly though, I wasn't thinking that deeply when writing the passages you mentioned BUT it could just be a subconscious thing for me I guess, like I said I've had this image in my head that it's a very fine line they walk along to balance between being consumed by the need to be something non-human and these human traits that just never go away, no matter how far into the future we are.

Never say sorry for sending me these asks, please!! I literally will think about this for the foreseeable future, it's going to power me through being able to get started on this JJK Cyberpunk AU fic I was making notes for the other night. You are such a lovely person, you didn't need to do this and yet you did, you made my entire night, week, month, year LMAO. You're, yeah, you're just amazing.

Thank you so so much for reading it again, I'm glad I was able to connect to you on a much deeper level than just 'blorbos in an alternate universe' LMAO, it's such an insightful thing to speak with people with their interests especially when it's something they're studying like, idk - the fact you said it moved you and rekindled your love for the thing you're studying? That'll stay with me forever.

I know that futuristic AUs aren't for everyone, especially when I like to latch on the harsh reality of things (e.g. the world would be extremely unforgiving to anyone living, and no one ever really finds happiness anymore) - so yeah again, thank you for sticking with it, reading through it despite not being in the fandom and then leaving such an amazing mindblowing ask.

I feel like I didn't do you justice with replying properly but I get really overwhelmed with praise, and I'm definitely more of just a listener when I'm listening/reading people analyse work so yeah, SORRY if this was a bit of a lacking response but that's because I'm genuinely just grinning so hard my face hurts LMFAO. Thank you so much, I love you a lot for this and I hope the rest of the year treats you so nicely <3

my notes on bungo stray dogs season 4

alright now that i've finally watched s4, i can be insane about this show for a bit. spoilers abound below obviously, and also i only watch the show and don't follow the manga (not something i intend to change anytime soon, so pls don't spoil haha <3)

my thoughts

crazy how reading meta on the character and relationship foils in BSD actually significantly improved my media literacy, not to mention increased my respect for asagiri a lot. but speaking of foils i went insane watching this season. the way it BUILDS on so much of the previous seasons is wild

everything about mushitari and yokomizo's relationship is SOOOOO much and we barely know them. the theme of trying to be remembered forever through your writing. the foils to the murakami arc, the way ango is dazai's translator despite their own strained relationship, do i even need to explain how it parallels poe and ranpo's relationship.

not to mention the way the manuscript / evidence destroyer arc is constructed reminds me a lot of how they foiled dazai x chuuya with steinbeck x lovecraft in the double black episode.

speaking of which, ranpo fans (and ranpo/poe fans) really had their time this season! yes i'm getting queerbaited no i don't care i love this this is awesome. i havent been queerbaited like this since i watched double black and it permanently rewired my brain (affectionate)

the book as metacommentary on storytelling and what it means to construct and alter reality and the evils of trying to play God as written by a real-life writer, an inherent role of playing God. im shaking asagiri like a ragdoll for answers

unsure how i feel about the continuous upping of stakes but do respect the overall lack of power creep for our main characters. dazai, yosano etc are exactly as powerful as they were when they first started, and i enjoy that.

the obvious contrast in ranpo as silly emotionally volatile 14-year-old vs grown-up ranpo in present time and how he's developed so much as a character and grown to care for others. the relationship between him and fukuzawa. im going to be sick. i need him to be safe and protected so bad...i just want him to be happy.

the empathetic and thoughtful way BSD approaches the treatment of children really gets to me. the attempt to preserve innocence and the way it is so often destroyed. but also it's worrying how with each flashback going further back in time, the characters depicted are progressively younger - dazai at 18 -> dazai and chuuya at 15 -> ranpo at 14 -> yosano at 11. if we continue in this direction, i think we will probably see akutagawa's childhood and him joining the PM, which i can't imagine will exactly be a happy fun time.

speaking of which, the contrast in this season between the patience and compassion with which fukuzawa treats teenage ranpo vs the cruelty with which mori treats child yosano and then the fact fukuzawa and mori's friendship ended over that treatment. oh my goddd. and i'm sure there will be further examination of the trickledown-effect of how mori's teachings impacted dazai which then impacted akutagawa which then impacted kyouka. the intergenerational trauma of it all

-> the parallel between mori shooting yosano's friend to force her to heal him with her ability vs dazai shooting akutagawa to force him to protect himself with his ability. oh my god!!!!

on the decay of the angels: really confused by how nikolai's character ties in to the real-life gogol (who i don't know super well, but i've read a few of his stories and like his writing). waiting for a mishima character to show up, since well, the decay of the angel is a real-life mishima book. excited for that since real-life mishima was also....quite a character, to say the least

my questions (and further thoughts)

so far, the state of several ADA members remain unknown. we currently only know the whereabouts of dazai, atsushi, kyouka, and fukuzawa, and that's because uh, 2/4 are in prison.

(also the parallel of fukuchi helping fukuzawa find oda in prison vs fukuchi's conversation with fukuzawa in prison. hm.)

speaking of which — i'm curious where mersault really is. it's obviously not a normal prison — there's most likely at least one ability user at work in making it function. (plus i need an albert camus character so bad PLEASE.) the way it's depicted, with the yellow confined spheres, reminds me a lot of the ability of camus's countryman, arthur rimbaud (from the the fifteen arc). hm! anyway, to go over the remaining ADA members:

so, where's yosano? tachihara spared her (unsurprising imo, though there's no doubt a degree of poetry for him in forcing her to heal herself over and over like she did his brother, but he's clearly not the sadistic torturer type).

ranpo is...somewhere. he was able to contact kyouka at some point about the manuscript, and he's obviously not dead. the question i have, although this applies to pretty much all of them, is what is he doing??? presumably he has...plans, of some sort.

tanizaki and kenji - i'll be a little surprised if tanizaki doesn't try to get in touch w/ naomi. the fact we still know very little about kenji, and he remains a fairly static character, makes me nervous considering how fleshed-out the other ADA members are. i dunno, i really feel like he's hiding something. my theory is that he's a spy the way tachihara / ango were spies but i have no good evidence here besides "does not pass vibe check."

kunikida's fate also unknown, besides "alive"

the margaret / hawthorne subplot seems unresolved - both character fates are like, extremely ambiguous. will say though obsessed with lucy casually throwing hawthorne into the void and atsushi just expresses no concern whatsoever.

(obsessed with everything about lucy tbh she was a member of an incredibly powerful gifted organization and then decided to just become a waitress at a cafe, where she bullies atsushi all the time and uses her pocket dimension to store her boss's coffee, and then she quits her job to go on an incredibly risky mission for the ADA. lucy i would do anything for you)

so confused as to what happened w nikolai 😭😭 maybe i should just accept that if you're a major character in this series who exists in the present, there's no such thing as permanent death.

the most notable exclusion from this season to me: where the hell is akutagawa? dude, you can't tell me asagiri just didn't have room for him. i don't believe that. i am nervous for him!!

Have you ever seen Moulin Rouge? If so,

I can’t stop myself from drawing parallels between that musical/movie and your Resistance AU, it’s literally all I can think about sometimes

Like- ok. So

Bdubs and Satine

Etho and Christian

Ren and The Duke

Yknow??

TAKES A DEEEEEP BREATH HI ANON HELLO!!!! this has been sitting in my inbox for like a week bc i havent had time to properly answer but im free to be ILL now!!

so hi. moulin rouge is my favorite movie ever. i make all my friends watch it, i rewatch it when i dont feel good, like. it is the movie of all time for me. it gives me so many diseases /pos

AND YOUR PARALLELS ARE SOOO ACCURATE. in fact, @briseise and i brainrotted about this for ages in dms once and like. that’s also what we came up with bc maybe we listened to el tango de roxanne a few too many times. i like to think the argentinian is maybe either scar, or just etho’s inner voice trying to convince him that bdubs doesn’t love him.

i think the main difference tho is that, unlike the duke, ren does care for bdubs in a very genuine way. and bdubs does also care for ren in a very genuine way. its just uh… sometimes u get lost in the sauce (the sauce being power and riches and attention), y’know? i could write a whole essay on the rendubs dynamic in this au my special guys but that’s an entirely different thing.

moulin rouge parallels my beloved im now thinking about the scene with christian in the tower and being bitter and angry and. ugh everyone go watch moulin rouge right now with these parallels in mind you’ll go insane i promise <3

Good day Hazel! Just wanted to ask ya how on earth are you so consistent in writing? Whats your process like? I know you for Dare To Dream and im honestly fuckn impressed how you wrote 25k in... a month? I could barely manage 11k in two months! Admittedly I havent read a bunch of your other Suselle and Kriselle fics, but I'm still impressed how consistent you are, even with the recent concert one I'm surpised how fast you were.

Life kinda gets in the way sometimes, I haven't written in like 7 months because I've been absolutely hammered out with irl happenings, and I wanna know how you manage your schedule and momentum when writing.

Hey! Sorry I didn't answer this sooner, the past few days have been actually insane as I'm sure you can guess KDSJHGFSDHFGSDF

So, I don't know, this is kind of always a hard question to answer because process is always so personal, you know? But I do have a few tricks I use to make it as painless as possible, so that when I sit down to write I actually get words on the page. First, though, don't knock your pace, friend; 11K in two months isn't bad at all. Sometimes you can do a lot more with a lot less, anyway.

Primarily, I have outlines, and I outline constantly in my head. I don't always write down my outlines explicitly, but I think about my stories allll the time when I'm walking places, in the bathroom/shower, doing chores--whatever occupies my body and not my mind, I'm usually thinking about my stories. Sometimes down to the details; I've blocked out entire conversations between characters in my head before while in the shower or something, including which versions of 'said' i use for which lines and where I cut the dialog with actions, and all that shit. If you've already got it in your head, then when you have free time to actually write, it often just dumps out of you onto the page.

If I don't have a really strong idea for a scene already loaded, though, it can be a bit harder to jump that first sentence hurdle; but it gets a lot easier over time. I have had to start so so many scenes over the years that at this point I just run through a bunch of different potential starts--starting with fast-paced action, starting with dialog, starting with a character's internal thoughts, starting with a description of the setting, starting with sensory imagery that the POV character is feeling--and then find one that works and write it down before I can second-guess myself, just so I can get over that initial hump. It becomes quicker and quicker with practice. And once I break that hump, the rest of the scene usually flows pretty easily.

If I'm REALLY struggling with how a scene should go, thuogh, that usually means there's something missing from it structurally--its too boring, or its too convoluted, or something like that. In that case, I'll really think about what I'm trying to accomplish with the scene, what the best way to get there is, and if there's any sub-conflict I can leverage within the scene to chug it along. Oftentimes in scenes, you want there to be two parallel 'conflicts' happening that can bounce of of one another (though I use 'conflict' pretty loosely here). For example, maybe Kris and Noelle are having an emotional conversation about their childhood; but at the same time, maybe they're walking down the street. The 'walking down the street' part may sound horribly insignificant, but keeping things in motion like that is very useful for breaking up the conversation: maybe Noelle looks away to admire the scenery before going on, or Kris trips after hearing something particularly unexpected, or they both stop walking for a minute, even though they're going to be late for class, because they've realized this is more important--the secondary 'conflict' in the scene gives you something to bounce the primary conflict off of. If I'm having a lot of trouble getting invested in a scene, in my experience, it's usually because I need to give it a secondary conflict.

From a logistic standpoint, too, a lot of my productivity literally just comes from having google docs on my phone, because if I'm in like for two minutes at the grocery store, well, that's two minutes of writing I can accomplish. The little things add up, especially since I don't bring my computer everywhere -- if I were limited to just writing on my computer instead of when im walking places, eating lunch, running errands, etc, my fics would never ever get done. It's at least 30-40% of my writing time these days.

Hope some of that was helpful and/or interesting! Hope you have a good one.

Wait wait wait pierlex???? WHY HAVENT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BEFORE YOUVE ENLIGHTENED ME IM SOOOOO !!! 🫠🫠😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 oh my god 😌😌😌omg please infodump on me about them im actually feeling bonkers about this

oh man, you're in for the shortest ride of your life but i will GLADLY take you through it all <3

i'm gonna spare everyone else though i can't have the world thinking i'm more deranged than i already seem

OKAY SO i'm assuming you're familiar with the lore but if you're not, i'm willing to fall down that rabbit hole too and teach you all about that too.

now even though they've been pitted against each other ever since the dreaded driver swap in 2019, they haven't really displayed any feelings of malice towards each other (unlike pierre and ocon... THAT is unresolved sexual tension if u ask me). they've sort of... solely tolerated one another and do talk in passing.

and their parallels are insane too. both getting promoted, struggling with the car, having everyone in the media criticize them and subsequently losing their seat at the main team.

but putting all that aside, the 30 mins of content we have of them is chefs kiss. and we will rinse it until the day we die because they refuse to provide us with more.

the iconic istanbul date is our most cherished memory. THE FACT THAT WE DIDNT GET MORE CONTENT FROM THAT IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY. here's the video if you haven't seen it.

and some footage of alex and pierre playing together to waste some time, here and here. AND THE PICTURES.... THE PICTURES R MY DOWNFALL.

the rb videos really fed us. i'm still so upset alex didn't make a bigger appearance in those challenge vids or any bts vids from alpha tauri since he spent a good chunk of the second half of the season last year with yuki and AT in general. forever bitter but we move.

this clip has me on a leash. if you hear someone barking, its not me. believe me, your honor. accidentally brushing fingers is THEIR always. would you be interested in seeing more videos if it means witnessing them interact for just three seconds? because i have LOADS.

one of my favorites is when the whole rb team got invited to this one red bull event in austria and pierre claimed he was a lousy skier (alex just wasn't allowed to ski, from what i remember) and so them and pol went down the slopes on bobsleds. pierre kept pausing and making sure they were all ready to go down at once and something happened that alex just missed the cue and went down later, and you could hear his MEWL and it was so ;')

this is way too long omfg but i'll drop this here and u can cry with us.

dts s2 e4-6

e4: -sorry seb's "says who?" at the start of episode (in response to ferrari telling him what to do) GAGGED sets the tone for the episode PERFECTLY -mattia talks about monza the way indy drivers talk abt the 500 lmao -the whole "there is no #1 driver" bit makes me think hey r there parallels to be drawn between sebchal here and alonso/hamilton in 2007? just thinkin about it -before i get to far i want to share some thoughts: when i first watched this episode with NO prior knowledge it was rly hard to follow. after i heard about the specifics of the ferrari engine controversy (cheating), for the second watch i remember this episode suddenly clicking for me! this episode would've benefitted so much from a will buxton monologue explaining the juicy details for a newish viewer. i understand that there might have been pressure from ferrari to not include those details but it is such a shame, to have such a core piece of information missing and viewers have to try to piece together the narrative without it :/ -HI LAURA WINTER -very much get the impression that seb is like the family member who notices the generational trauma and going hey maybe we should change things to stop that and gets exiled from the family instead :) those sure are the vibes -HI CHARLOTTE -im sorry the back to back "seb has a lack of confidence with the car. and charles' car is not performing" like theyre the same car but you're gonna frame it like its seb's fault but not charles's? mattia choke -at the part where they're explaining the engine controversy--i still stand by wishing they explained it better and EARLIER because i think its much needed context for the first half of the episode too -at the end of the day all i need to know is that seb clearly thought that what ferrari did was wrong, and thats all i need to know if he says so then i believe it!! -the way netflix is trying to tease like ~oh imagine all the different teams he could go to! who wouldnt want him~ is so cheeky but also i NEED to know what this was like live when yall didnt know where he was going i'm JEALOUS i wish i got to be there for it all to unfold -double ferrari dnf at monza must've been crazy to watch live too lmao -seb zigzagging through all the photographers on his bicycle. love him -seb announcing his new seat the same weekend as ferrari's 1000th is crazy ex girlfriend levels of unhinged (pos). like posting ultrasound pics the same day as your ex's wedding type of shit. no one does it like him -sorry im incapable of watching ferrari episodes without writing an essay. hope you enjoyed

ep5: -the great daniel/cyril divorce -i cant remember who said it or where i saw it but when i first got into f1 properly someone talked about how Different things might've been if there hadn't been covid--since the season was delayed, the contract was signed before reneault could have any races with daniel that year--so daniel could only make that decision based off 2019 races -the jump clearly did not work out for him but alpine also went to shit too. but if cyril hadn't left who knows. i think all of daniel's choices make sense honestly!!!! he just got very unlucky -anyway their dynamic is insane and they deserve soooo many more fic than they have!! -"it's probably a bit like being dumped by a girlfriend, but she hasn't moved out of the house yet." christian did eat with this one. unfortunately -i love cyril but him being the one to actually complain about the pink mercedes feels very..... my wife is divorcing me so i'm gonna sue my neighbors over the property line -"i hate those fucking pink cars" oh i need to gif that. i'll be watching and i'll just KNOW like yeah that needs to be in the next gifset -i cant believe i havent mentioned it yet renault colors are the BEST daniel has ever looked i miss having yellow n black on the grid. maybe thats why alpine went to shit they gave up the best color combo they could have

e7: -pierre redemption episode!!! i think this is one of the best episodes ever tbh. very cathartic movie plotline really ticks all the boxes -HI PATRICK -ok but the fact that dts NEVER covered alex's podiums w red bull after milking the shit out of his missed podiums is a hate crime to me personally -onboards going through eau rouge are scary af. -filled with rage at how christian horner chews up new drivers and spits them up (even though its all so predictable at this point. no one will ever live up to the golden boy) -i remember seeing people complain that the williams family leaving wasn't given focus in dts, if anyone has any fun video essays about that i'd love to watch! -i do take issue with will buxton saying "red bull can't admit they made a mistake (with alex)" i think red bull made a mistake with promoting ANYONE too early and expecting too much from them, but not in a pierre v alex way. neither of them were given enough time or support by red bull to flourish. and they lowkey admitted that recently lmao -but it /is/ cathartic to know that red bull have tried to get alex back since then and he doesn't need his toxic ex in his life anymore no thanks ✌️ -i just know i'll LOVE watching this race in full -they set up the suspense so well for the end of the race -and it really is. if carlos had won this race with mclaren, his first win, how different would the trajectory of his career been -ANYWAY theres something that just always gets me about men holding all their emotions in right until they cross the finish line and they finally allow themselves to feel the emotions. (recent example that made me SOB was theo when he won f2) i also love how much it clearly meant to the alphatauri guys in the garage. last time that happened was with seb for torro rosso yeah? so its clearly so so special

i have a latin final i havent studied for yet but klance is actually so insane bc well klancers weren’t exactly delusional tbh??????i mean they were but their delusions weren’t exactly unfounded. like the fucking bonding moment that can’t be read as anything but romantic. like it paralleled a m/f pairing, the song “to go home” was playing when lance said a few episodes before that he wanted to go home. they were looking at each other w the softest fucking expressions in purple lighting. and purple lighting has been used in consistently used throughout the series for romantic coded scenes. and the bonding moment was mentioned twice in the next episode, where keith also checked out some alien dude. and lance having a super fond expressions whenever he talked about/to keith and keith can’t see him. and jds saying that “shipping them is a natural progression” and lm saying she thinks their ship name should be laith bc it means lion in arabic. and the fucking parallel with krolia/tex and keith/lance finding the blue lion. lance becoming canonically being keith’s stability. lance going to keith when he’s insecure. all the lance scenes with a bi flag color scene. keith not giving a shit when a hot alien princess fell in his arms but smiling at some rando alien man. lance calling keith “ the future” and one of the producers saying that “lance will end up with who he needs not wants.” all this for an allurance endgame even though allura’s literally a lesbian

Thinking about the parallel between xander not telling the gang about proposing to Anya at first and then buffy not telling the gang about spike … something about the way they were both depressed but trying to hide it and not wanting to admit their relationship status out loud because that makes it real and I think neither of them think they really deserve it, to have a good relationship, to have their friends support them, to have a semblance of normalcy bc that’s always ended badly, they don’t think they deserve happy endings : (

OH???? OH OH OH OH OH???? ok YEAH this is so?????? xander as buffy's heart, xander and buffy constantly projecting and entangling their love lives onto each other ..... (xander @ biley in "into the woods," // buffy projecting Back onto xander with is anya more than a convenience in that same episode // buffy @ xanya in "triangle" // xander @ buffy all of s1 // xander dating buffy's shadow self in s2-s3 // xander being attracted to all of buffy's boyfriends and also sleeping with her girlfriend faith // tbh cordy getting involved too with making her whole breakup with xander about buffy in "the wish...")

but in s6 this feels especially insane with like??? they're sort of playing tag with each other? this weird revolving door? xander cant tell his friends about his engagement because buffy's dead (which is also insane bc like. if xander is buffy's heart. what does it mean for the being you exist inside of as a heart to be dead i JUST??? like xander cant tell people. his heart is buffy's heart and buffy is dead and JUST???? ill stop now before i cry) ->and then it's because buffy's just recently alive, in the period when she is most intensely repressing her feelings about her resurrection -> xander DOES finally tell everyone about his engagement, and it's the episode before buffy lets go of her attempted forced normalcy, tells everyone about being in heaven, starts her relationship with spike -> also in omwf, i mean all 3 of the couple songs are in a row and all deal with things under the surface that the couples aren't saying, and there's parallels between all three. BUT there is something specifically about xanya's refrain being literally "ill never tell" and spike telling buffy "being with you touches me more than i can say". "im under your spell" is structurally different, where tara doesnt find out until later the double meaning of her song. but the other two songs are explictly about hidden feelings you explictly dont want the other person to hear being spoken out loud, feelings about your true feelings on the relationship -> buffy breaks up with spike the episode before xander's wedding -> buffy and spike have a very sweet moment at xander's wedding and part as equals and also have tbh stunningly good communication considering their whole deal up to this point? the openness of "she seems like a very good attempt at making me jealous" "is it working?" "a little" "im sorry" theyre both just, plainly saying what they think and feel ! the openness is even lampshaded with spike bringing back the pretense in "or-- good -> meanwhile xanya fall apart, dont communicate, havent been communicating their feelings, xander hides things, and they dissolve -> and then the two relationships!!! literally !!! come to a head!!! buffy's ex fucks xander's ex, xander's ex fucks buffy's ex!!!!! and it is this act that finally reveals buffy's relationship to xander!!!!! it's SO!!!! it's SO!!!!!!!!

anyway i didnt mean to go that insane but xander being buffy's heart is INSANE literally she is circling her heart in a cage match until her shadow forcibly confesses to her heart what buffy's true desires are ... I JUST????? and the way this is all also of course about the demon thing. buffy's heart is attracted to demons. buffy's heart is attracted to women who all their friends think are embarrassing . i JUST!!

Anyways if I was gonna do an epic s8 rewrite:

y’all remember that Sam and John parallel they set up all the way back in s1 and didn’t do anything with bc the writers collectively forgot abt it? Payoff time babey. Put a pin in that.

Anyways. The first ep opens exactly where s7 ended. Dean and cas just vanished. Dick is exploded. Kevin is freaking out. Crowley is gloating.

Like I think sam should snap. He’s just been through the wringer. He’s been beat down and beat down for a solid year at this point. He’s lost and grief stricken and doesn’t know what to do, but he gets Kevin out and away from crowley. And then Kevin looks at him and says there was something else on that tablet. It said there was a way to seal hell off forever.

ok so. lemme explain some things.  I think that sam is at his core a very angry person, just like dean at his core is always afraid.  So like.  Dean will lash out and use anger to cover his fear.  Sam tries to sublimate and suppress his anger by choosing to be kind instead.  and i think that s7 made him feel too tired and helpless to be angry, UNTIL kevin accidentally gave him an outlet.  so like.  I wanna see sams repression skills fail.  I wanna see him lose the last shit he had left to give and go absolutely balls to the walls insane.  I want a mystery spot 2.0: This Time It’s Permanant.  

And HERES the payoff of that little parallel. Sam latches onto revenge the way that John latched onto his. like theyre operating under the same delusion: if i kill the thing that destroyed my life, I’ll experience some sort of catharsis.

So like. Sam goes off the deep end. I think he starts off by going full witch, but I think it would be extremely sexy if he eventually started drinking demon blood again. Kevin is like. i dont think this is right but idk enough about hunting or witchcraft to dispute it.  They’re on an evil road trip trying to track down the demon tablet and kill crowley once and for all. This is the A plot.

The second ep opens with dean landing in purgatory. This is the B plot.

The season alternates between Sam doing evil fucked up shit on his and Kevin’s revenge road trip and dean doing fucked up shit in purgatory

Sam and Kevin get ahold of the demon tablet for a bit, and decode enough of it to start doing the trials. that happens in s8 right? im only halfway thru.

Idk if spn has a mid season break, but halfway thru the season shit pops tf off. Sam completes the first trial, and in the same ep dean finally gets out of purgatory. that would happen in the last ep before the midseason break. idk yall i havent watched a tv show live in literal years.

Speaking of purgatory, I think it’s dumb that the angels scooped cas out of purgatory. So I’m changing it. Instead, cas goes out of the portal with dean, but the angels scoop him mid-transit. Dean wakes up alone in the woods and cas wakes up in heaven, speaking with Naomi.

I think there should be a power struggle in heaven, between Naomi and metatron. They’re fighting to control lesser angels like pawns. Naomi has an edge because she can like. Brainwash angels into being loyal to her, but metatron LOVES murder and manipulation.  Girlboss of him.

Shit REALLY pops tf off in the second half of the season. Sam is doing the trials. Kevin is helping Sam do the trials. Dean is desperately trying to get Sam to stop, because the trials are actively killing him. Dean is also having a really hard time adjusting to normal life after being in purgatory. Cas is actively being brainwashed by Naomi. Crowley found the angel tablet, and now he’s trying to close heaven, while simultaneously trying to fend off winchester and co

Crypt scene! It’s exactly the same. Naomi tries to make cas kill dean, but he breaks free and fucks off with the angel tablet. its extremely homoerotic.  Dean DOES say i forgive you, cas.  I love you.

Metatron finds cas after he fucks off and convinces cas that the only way to save earth from getting caught in the crossfire of a three-way war is to close off heaven, while the winchesters close off hell.

The end is the same as canon. Metatron tricks cas into giving up his grace, and then uses it to make all the angels fall. The last shot of the season is that one with all the angels falling from the sky.

In conclusion why so many flashbacks when you could just start the season at a different point in time mr. carver. explain your thought process to me.