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#need him so bad it makes me look stupif
kim-poce · 2 years
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Full House 32 - Neglect
Tell me if the tag worked please.
Along with this draft
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Masterlist
CW: pet whump, neglect, starvation, implied self harm (not sleep and eat), caretaker new master, institutionalized slavery.
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Neglect is a kind of abuse.
Eri knows that, he knows that very well, he saw victims of abuse back in the army, the ones who enlisted so they could go away from home, Eri was also running away back then, but running away from a rich household with caring parents was completely different, seemly worthless and stupif when compared, it took him a long time to stop comparing, to let the fact that different people have different problems sink in.
The ‘pets’ were abused in many ways, both before and after being brought, some of them must have suffered even before being a pet, and Eri wanted them to just experience good things from now on.
Neglect is a kind of abuse so Eri tried to spent as much time with the pets as their personal space allowed, but at some point it got… hard, he doesn’t blame the boys from being wary, hateful even, to him, they have all the reason and a bit more not to trust him, but…
But the work was increasing, the tasks hoarding up, the time was short and the looks on the pets’ face was so… so bad, Eri wasn’t used to being looked like that, he wasn’t used to being hated, he was often too tired of pushing himself into trying to talk with the boys just to be greets with hate and fear, so he… took a break?
The boys were doing fine enough, he told himself, they follow the rules about eating and sleeping a little better now, so Eri told himself that focusing on the other work for a week or so would be fine. He was so wrong.
“Can you come home here right now?” Eri said desperately on the phone, as soon as Beckett picked up, it was ten in the morning, on a normal weekday, but he was selfish enough to wish Beckett would get out of work and go there.
“Sorry man, I have patients until two, I’m on a ten minutes break. What happened? The little boy got worse?” Beckett said, there were sounds of something being scribbled down on a paper followed by keyboard sound.
“No, not him it was…” Eri looked down at the so slim Beige on the bed, he looked more fragile than ever, and different from when Eri first met him, this time it was his fault. “Can you go as soon as you can? I’ll pay as much as you want just…” Beige started to move restless in his sleep. “Please come, I’ll text you the code of the door. Okay?”
Please say okay, please please please plea-
“Sure,” Becket said after a little pause. “We talk better when I get there than, see you later. Take care.”
“Thanks.”
Water. “Be-” Eri paused, the person who usually helps him on caring for the others is Beige, Beige can’t help now, Beige needs help. “I’ll go bring water and… cook? No…” I don’t know of any receipts good for starving people, I should know, I should've looked it up as soon as I got here.
Eri walked to the kitchen, taking water and an apple, maybe a bit of fruit is easy enough for a start, he doesn’t know when Beige last ate, so he assumed it was long ago.
“Hey, hey, wake up,” Eri called softly, slowly feeding water to the sick pet. “It’s okay,” it’s definitely not. “I’m here now,” I shouldn’t have left to begin with.
Beige’s eyes opened, the first expression of his face upon his Eri was dread, and Eri tried to swallow the bitter feeling that that caused. The pet tried to protest, but he wasn’t strong enough to finish any sentence.
“Please eat a bit now,” Eri said, feeding him some apple on the spoon as one does to little toothless babies.
For a while it was just that, no words were spoken, what could Eri even say? ‘Why did you do that?’ would sound like scolding, ‘why didn't you tell me?’ would make it seem like Beige isn’t allowed any secrets.
“Please, Beige, don’t ever skip meals again, okay?” Eri ordered finally, it —he hoped— was the safest way to say this sentence.
Beige fearfully nodded and opened his mouth to speak but Eri just put the spoon in his mouth again, he knew what he was going to say, he didn’t want to hear it. And he knew why Beige had done this; it was Eri’s fault.
Neglect is a kind of abuse.
Eri knows that very well and yet he told himself the pets would be fine on their own, the six men are all his responsibility and god-fucking property and yet he pretended it would be fine to leave them alone.
He wanted to believe that they don’t truly need him, but they do. From the moment Eri signed these papers these people are his responsibility, and this responsibility won’t go away just because he wants it to, it won’t go away with the months or a few years. Eri didn’t want to admit that for the predictable future he would need to always walk on eggshells in his own house.
“S-sorry,” Beige said, tearing up. “I’m- I’m useless.”
“You are not,” Eri said, patting the boy’s head. Beige could only accept that he is worth something if he is useful, so Eri had no choice but to say he is useful. “I never thought of you as useless,  in truth you are always there for me, right? You are the most useful pet of all.” He was careful not to pause, pauses would be openings to misunderstandings, so it doesn't matter if the words were bitter or not, he said them naturally and gently, and hoped the boy would calm down.
Eri kept feeding him, he was small, fragile, so skinny, the dark circles on his face were huge, did he even sleep this week at all? Did he faint from hunger or did the exhaustion take the better of him? What did Eri do to make him neglect himself so much? Was it something he did or something he said? Was it his absence?
Neglect is a kind of abuse, so is Eri any better than his parents, or the trainers in the facilities? The longer he failed the more like them he felt.
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Taglist: @cupcakes-and-pain, @whump-blog, @wolfeyedwitch, @octopus-reactivated, @sufferfictionalcharacters, @rat-father, @badluck990, @onlybadendings, @inpainandsuffering, @mazeish, @neuro-whump, @freefallingup13, @sideblogformindtrash, @extemporary-username, @jadeocean46910, @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight, @melancholy-in-the-morning, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @neverthelass, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @whumpfessional, @sinning-shipping-trash, @batfacedliar-yetagain, @scp-1296, @dont-touch-my-soup, @damienxozmoze, @nicolepascaline, @rose-pinkie, @latenightcupsofcoffee, @dyingisbadforyourhealth, @theadorelocksly, @aswallowimprisoned, @bluewhumpcrew, @fuzzybucketz
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naoyatoudo · 3 years
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i need to rant about how zzs was treated in shl hold on spoilers for the end of the drama
still pissed. i hate HATE HATE that zzs was shoved to the side and became the little side piece to wkx’s story of revenge. hello? he’s the MC. ZZS is the MC. WKX is the ML. this is not the wkx story this is the zzs story, literally, he is the main character. why does he just drop back into the background at some point, shoved into a corner, used only to make wkx look good? hello? how the fuck is it that he was captured and tortured for days but no one asks after him or shows much care when he comes back...........it just goes to wkx’s stupid plan that he DOESN’T TELL ZZS ABOUT? HELLO?
and after wkx “dies” no one even thinks to keep an eye on zzs despite him literally trying to commit suicide to follow after him before. how the fuck could they just leave him alone?? and then even when zcl and jby and wx learn about him taking out the nails they just are like. ok bye :) at least zcl cries but  THE FOCUS IS STILL ON WKX??????????? THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME OUTSIDE LIKE 5 MINUTES??? AND WKX OF COURSE HAS THIS WEIRD OOC MOMENT AND LIES TO ZZS AND ACTS LIKE ZZS DESERVES IT AS IF HE HASNT LIED TO ZZS MULTIPLE TIMES NEAR THE END DESPITE THE FACT THEY HAVE A WHOLE THING ABOUT NOT LYING TO EACH OTHER BUT WHATEVER. HAHA. WHO CARES RIGHT? AS LONG AS WKX LOOKS SYMPATHETIC AND GOOD! FUCK. IT’S SO OBVIOUS THE SCRIPTWRITER HAS A WKX BIAS IT MAKES ME FEEL ILL.
I’M SO ANGRYYYYYYY HOW ZZS WAS TREATED LIKE SHIT IN THIS. LIKE GREAT SO YOU TOOK AWAY HIS DECISION WITH HIS LIFE TO SACRIFICE YOUR OWN SO HE’D LIVE FOREVER AND TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN AND CAN ONLY EAT SNOW. ALONE. FOREVER. HOW KIND OF YOU. IT’S NOT LIKE YBY HAS A WHOLEEEEEEE EXTRA ABOUT HOW MISERABLE THAT IS OR ANYTHING IN THE NOVEL RIGHT? FUCK OFF. HOW DARE YOU DRAMA WKX.
NOT TO MENTION HOW THE COSTUMES AND MAKEUP WERE CLEARLY HIGHER QUALITY FOR WKX...LIKE REALLY? REALLY?????/ ASIDE THE NEW YEARS ONES IT’S SO STARK HOW MUCH MORE MONEY WENT INTO WKX’S LOOK. AND THE AMOUNT OF TIMES WE HAVE TO SEE THE SAME STUPIF FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF WKX YES I KNOW HIS PAST YES I GET IT I DONT NEED TO SEE IT EVERY EPISODE 3 TIMES.
THE NOVEL. IS ABOUT. ZZS. IT’S ABOUT HIM LEARNING TO MOVE ON AND SPEND HIS LIFE FREELY. WITH HIS OWN DECISIONS. AND BE HIMSELF. SINCE HE COULDN’T DO ANY OF THAT WHILE STUCK SERVING THE EMPEROR (PRINCE HERE, WHATEVER). AMAZING HOW WKX TAKES THAT AWAY FROM HIM AT THE END OF THE DRAMA AND IT’S PLAYED AS GOOD AND ROMANTIC. WKX’S REVENGE PLOT IS IN THE BACKGROUND AND IN THE END HE LITERALLY /LITERALLY/ CHOOSES TO LIVE SO HE CAN BE WITH ZZS. THERE IS NO SACRIFICE ON HIS PART. ZZS DOES NOT GET INVOLVED IN HIS SHIT EXCEPT TO SAVE HIM AT THE END. ZZS LITERALLY STATES WKX’S PLOTS ARE HIS OWN AND HE HAS NO RIGHT TO BUT IN IN THE NOVEL.
WHY DID YOU WRITE ZZS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHO HE IS? I GET CHANGING THINGS TO MAKE HIM PALATABLE FOR  A WIDER AUDIENCE BUT COME ON. AND HIS CRYING AND SIMPERING..LIKE..>???????????? EVEN THEN FINE. BUT THEN YOU TURN HIM INTO A SIDE PIECE WHO JUST IS THERE FOR WKX TO LOOK GOOD. I AM SSSSSO MAD AND I’M GLAD APPARENTLY CHINESE FANS ARE TOO (?) . he deserved better. he did not deserve to be cast aside so the limelight can be on wkx. i feel so bad for zzs and for his ACTOR because even with the actos everyone is soooo focused in wkx’s actor.
wkx’s actor did well don’t get me wrong, glad he is getting attention, but zzs’ actor did really well too.......ugh. the way people are so into wkx and just use zzs as a piece for him even in fics now..like whya re so many fics zzs crying over wkx dying or being a comfort for an upset wkx?? zzs is the one who is literally in pain every single day, was literally tortured and betrayed, lost EVERYONE from his sect, and the whole shit show with wkx’s fake death HE WASN’T TOLD WAS FAKE. SO HE HASTENED HIS DEATH. but no it’s all about wkx and wkx’s emotions right? fuck off.
i’m gonna write so much stuff for zzs. im gonna write jby noticing zzs is upset and confronting and comforting him. for a supposed best friend in the drama he didn’t do fucking much. idk why wx and jby were even there, in the novel they cure him but here they just. what give him medicine so he can live an extra week? wow great.
im so sad we didnt get to see all the things zzs thinks in the novel that show how affected he is by everything and how traumatized he is. i hate how they made his shizun this friendly father figure when he was a rough person who died and left everything for zzs to handle alone at FIFTEEN. i hate how they made zzs the prince’s cousin for NO FUCKING REASON when zzs was just some guy from a family in the jianghu who befriended the prince to help his sect survive.
why is it the series starts off well and with zzs as the mc and switches at some point to be the wkx show? i still like wkx but im so........disappointed. im so disappointed if my rants didnt say it enough ufbhvndskm, especially how the other characters dont notice how upset or pained zzs is at any point?? how the fuck did jby not??? amazingly zcl is the best with it...T__T
also why is it they fight constantly and even though zzs is literally right usually wkx is the sympathetic one and they never talk it through zzs just kind of goes back over to him and they act like normal?? hello??? yeah, uh, zzs was RIGHT. INNOCENT PEOPLE WERE LITERALLY BEING KILLED FOR WKX’S PLAN. YES ZZS WAS RIGHT. IT’S HIS LIFE IF HE WANTS TO JUST DIE FROM HIS WOUNDS AND NOT LOSE HIS MARTIAL ARTS HE CAN. does no one remember in the novel when wkx tries to destroy his martial arts zzs stops him with a “if anyone should understand, it’s you..” and wkx just stops and says “yes...i..i understand...” and respects zzs’ wishes???
what were their other stupid fights? oh yeah zzs again saying innocent people die and oh look he was right again. when wkx betrays zzs’ trust and does his fake death without telling him zzs doesnt even get mad at him. meanwhile wkx raged at him for choosing his own path in life that wkx didnt want...right, that’s good. then the fucking end with wkx saying it’s his turn to lie to zzs like he didnt before. i would punch wkx into the ground for that. fuck you asshole, are you kidding me with this shit??
also why did it take so long for zzs to realize who wkx is in the drama?? in the novel they figured each other out right away almost... why is zzs weaker physically and not as smart.. T_T and he took his disguise off earlier so the fangirls wouldnt have to deal with the “ugly” (wasnt even ugly) look...i know it would never have happened but i feel like wkx’s reaction to his real face was kind of understated. i’ve already said i dislike the shidi-shixiong thing but i do get why they did it so whatever.
im mostly mad about how zzs was picked up, slapped around, and thrown outside.........
scriptwriter why do you hate zzs.......?
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impala666 · 5 years
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Somebody To Love- Michael Kelso x reader
Imagine Kelso getting you tickets to see Queen in his van to make up for being a bad boyfriend (but don’t worry the whole gang is going). I feel like we all could use an Aston Kutcher fic, especially my masterlist. Who doesn’t love him?
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You had no idea what time it was because all of you had been spending all day in Eric Forman’s basement watching tv and listening to music, the stuff that you usually did with your friends, but one person was missing and that person was Michael Kelso. It wasn’t like you cared, he could fall off the edge of a cliff for all you cared. But he had done that before, and the last time it happened you cared a lot. Damn it, you didn’t know why you loved him, you just did. For the last few minutes you had been standing between Hyde’s chair and the popsicle cooler, staring at the television screen thinking about Kelso. “Y/L/N!” Hyde called your last name sounding pretty frustrated.
“What?” You answered with just as much as a bite as he did once your mind was out of the clouds.
“Are you gonna stand there all day or are you gonna get me a popsicle?” He asked.
“Do you have 2 legs?” You answered his question with another one, which caused a stare down between the 2 of you to see who would break. Besides, Hyde already knew the end of your sentence. You couldn’t take it anymore, after your little daydream all you wanted was a popsicle for yourself. “Fine!” You gave up, resulting in a devilish grin to come upon Hyde’s face. “But only because I want one.” With you ignored Steven’s eye roll, got yourself a popsicle and tossed one over to Hyde. Once the freezer door was shut, you turned around and hoisted yourself up on top and crossed your legs.
“Hey, Y/N, have you heard from Kelso?” Donna asked you with a quick glance in your direction.
“Nope. And I don’t care.” You told her absentmindedly as you ate your popsicle.
“Oh, come on,” Eric laughed at you from his place next to Donna.
“What?” You asked him, completely in denial about your Kelso situation.
“Ever since Steven and I had started dating, you and Michael started this whole thing where he does something stupif, you get mad and say you’re going to end things, but then he does something good and you go running back to him.” Jackie explained for you and the entire group.
“I don’t do that,” you scoffed. “Maybe you did that with Kelso, Jackie. But not me.” Everyone around you laughed at your own words.
“If you don’t, then why are you still with Kelso?” Hyde asked the question that everyone wanted to know even you. You started mumbling trying to come up with some answer, even an excuse but after a few tries you gave up.
“I don’t know! Don’t ask me questions that I don’t have the answers to!” You defended getting everyone to shut up, albeit dumbass smirks because they knew that they were right.
“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N!” Michael yelled for you as he barreled into the basement and quickly walked up to you, taking your popsicle and throwing it into the sink besides the freezer.
“Michael!” You yelled at him in anger for your loss of popsicle. “Why did you throw my popsicle? I was still eating it!” You whined like a 5 year old.
“It’s okay though, I found a way for you to love me again.” Kelso cheered as he smiled brightly like a little kid.
“Oh this has got to be good.” You told him as you hopped down from the freezer and walked to the center of the room. “What is so special that I would forgive for all the cheating, getting another woman pregnant, and ditching me?” You arms crossed over your chest.
“Why don’t you take a look at those 2 special things right here,” Kelso smiled as he pulled out 2 slips of paper and handed them to you. When you read what the tickets said you didn’t know what to do with yourself; you didn’t know if you wanted to scream, cry, jump for joy, or throw up. All you could manage to do was gasp.
“What is that a good gasp or is it a bad gasp?” Fez asked as he slid to the edge of his seat.
“Oh it’s very good,” your voice shook as you tried to control your excitement. “You got us Queen tickets for this Saturday!” You screamed at the top of your lungs and jumped up to wrap your arms around Kelso’s neck and peck him on the lips.
“Heck yeah I did, we can even bring the van and sleep there!” Kelso screamed to add to your excitement.
“And we can bring me wine.” You smiled.
“You like wine?” Hyde asked with minor disgust.
“Yeah, so? It’s delicious, makes me feel classy, and lets me have a good time. Sue me.” You defended to which Hyde raised his hands in surrender.
“Yeah don’t get between her and her wine and you will regret it.” Kelso spoke from experience.
“Are we all going?” Fez asked innocently in his accent.
“Actually Fez, it’s just going to be Y/N and me.” Kelso told him as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
“Oh, I really wanted to see Freddie Mercury shake it.” Fez said quietly and disappointed.
“Oh, Fez,” you fake frowned. “Everybody does.”
“I don’t,” Hyde butted in. “They do make great music though.”
“Well too bad, you’re not going. I didn’t mean to sound mean, I’m just so excited.” You tried your best to apologize.
“And you should be, go pack a bag with the least amount of clothes and I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.” Kelso said into your hair and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
“Okay!” You gripped the sleeves of his jacket and jumped in excitement. “I can’t believe we’re going to see Queen tomorrow!!!!!!” You jumped and squeaked. “Oh, I love you. Bye!” You reached up and kissed Kelso before running to the basement door and up the stairs.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her act like that much of a girl ever, great job man.” Eric smiled proudly up at his tall friend.
“Yeah, you guys are going too, don’t tell Y/N.” Kelso announced and pleaded at the same time biting one of his finger nails.
“Well Kelso, she’s gonna find out when she sees all of us there. She wanted it to be just the 2 of you.” Jackie defended for you.
“So you guys don’t wanna go?” Kelso asked in surprise.
“Oh no, we’re going,” Hyde said for everybody.
******
You couldn’t believe the day was here and Kelso was in your driveway with the van. After you checked your outfit and hair in the mirror, you grabbed your purse and ran out to the passenger side of the car. You didn’t pack a bag like Kelso suggested, you just figured that he’s prefer it that way. “Hi, bubba,” you greeted Kelso with the little nickname and then pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Hi, Y/N,” all of your friends greeted you from the back of the van which scared the crap out of you.
“Everybody’s coming?” You asked with fake anger.
“It was his idea,” Fez ratted and pointed at Kelso.
“Yeah, is that okay?” Kelso looked at you in fear.
“Are you kidding? That’s even better, I get to see my favorite band with everyone that I love.” You smiled at Michael brightly.
“What about your family?” Eric asked.
“Eh, whatever.” You smiled, too high on your excitement.
“Can we keep this happy and positive Y/N?” Donna asked as a joke making you laugh.
“For now,” you said ominously. With that Kelso laced his fingers with yours, backed out of your driveway, and all of you were on your way to the concert.
Once you all got there and the band started, you felt like you were on cloud 9 and high on ecstacy. “How’re you doing?” Kelso asked as you danced your ass off to Freddie Mercury’s angel of a voice.
“Great, I feel like I’m high!” You jumped with joy.
“Well, you are,” he pointed out with a smile on his face. Kelso was clearly enjoying the drunk, high, and happy you. You were always so stressed about life, he liked it when you let go every once and while. “And I guess this is a good time to ask you to be exclusive with me?” Kelso asked as you took both of his hands and swaying, almost barely listening. But his last part of his sentence got you. Did he really ask that, especially now that Queen was starting “Somebody To Love?” You didn’t even need to say anything, you grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him long enough to get your point across. But when you thought you were done, Michael Kelso was picking you up and carrying you to the van for some alone time. Ah, to be young and in love.
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thrashton · 5 years
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Summary: Don’t get attached, do not engage in any physical contact… The list of rules were long, but Lucas had never been the one to follow orders. In fact, he might have broken all of them in just a week, all because of the piercing eyes staring at him from the assignment in his hands, and the charming, mysterious boy they belonged to. Who wanted him dead, and why? Chapter summary: Lucas is forced to lie to Yann again, and Eliott is throwing a party which is bound to change Lucas’ life.
click the soaring-light tag in the tags below to read previous chapter. or look me up at ao3, link in profile.
CHAPTER FIVE
Lucas wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh or cry when Yann told him he was too good for Eliott. He eventually chose the first, because that was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard.
He, Lucas Lallemant, too good for someone like Eliott Demaury? Yeah, right. Like anyone would ever believe that.
“That’s dumb”, Lucas told Yann, because that was the only words his brain could come up with while trying to understand how the hell he could be too good for Eliott. Impossible. Was Yann sick, did he hit his head, did he-?
“It isn’t”, Yann shrugged, interrupting his thoughts, “I’m just saying he had a wild past.”
That innocent comment caught Lucas attention. “How do you mean?” he asked carefully, not sure he wanted to hear the answer, but everything to could bring him closer to the echoing why and who wanted Eliott dead, was worth hearing. Maybe Yann was right, maybe Eliott was a terrible person. Lucas had met the guy - what, twice? and already thought he knew him. He didn’t, obviously. Thinking they had some kind of connection just because they were both terrible at flirting - if that was what Eliott was doing - was just stupid of Lucas.
“Don’t know”, Yann said carelessly, not at all realizing how important this was to Lucas. “Drugs, I guess. Heard he was abused by his ex.”
“Abused?” Lucas’ voice was sharp, suddenly absolutely ready to cut a bitch if it was needed. That was something he was very good at, considering.
“Don’t be his knight on a horse, alright? He’s a big boy, Lucas.”
Lucas rolled his eyes at his friend. “I’m just curious.”
“Yeah, well. I heard Lucille, you know her, right? wasn’t very nice to him.”
Yeah, Lucas knew Lucille. Everyone knew Lucille. He hadn’t, on the other hand, heard that she dated Eliott. Apparently he had been living under a rock for the past years.
“Did she hit him?”
“Not that I know, I think it was more psychological”, Yann hummed, “but I only hear rumours, you know.”
“What are the rumours then?”
Yann raised his brows at him, crossing his arms over his chest as they stood in the kitchen at Lucas’ apartment. They were supposed to get something to drink, but got stuck in conversation. “That she made him believe the only one who could ever love him was her.”
Lucas felt the anger raising in his chest and he had to clench his fists. “Are you serious? Who the fuck would do-”
“Yeah. Heard she used him for his money and fame. But these are just rumours, Lu-Lu.”
“Who spread those rumours then, was it Eliott?”
Yann rolled his eyes, clearly wanting to talk about anything else than a relationship he had no business in discussing. “Paparazzis and tabloids I think. None of them said a thing about it.
“Ah”, Lucas nodded, “yeah. well, if you hear anything else alarming, please fill me in. I wanna know what I’m getting myself into.”
Yann looked at him for a long moment. “So you’re really going for it? Eliott?”
“Uh”, Lucas shrugged, “I don’t know. He invited me to a party tomorrow.”
Yann pouted. “Okay, can I bring the boys?”
“I think it was a small get-together”, Lucas hesitated, “but I can check.”
Yann was grinning at him, that smile Lucas had known for so many years. The smile that made them best friends in the first place. “I’m joking, we’re not gonna interrupt and ruin your chances.”
“Oh.” He didn’t know what else to say. A part of him was relieved, but another part of him wanted his best friends there to make sure nothing weird happen. And if they were there to watch him, he’d have a reason not to kill Eliott the next night.
“You okay?”
Lucas met his searching gaze. “Yeah, why are you asking?”
His best friend refused to let his eyes go and it made Lucas uncomfortable. There was nothing he hated more than lying to Yann, and he knew he was going to have to do that if his best friend pressed him further for a truthful answer.
“You seen a bit… stressed? Nervous? No, wait. On edge.”
Lucas huffed. “I’m not on edge.”
“Yes you are.”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“What’s up with you, anyways? You also-”
“No, changing the subject won’t work.”
Lucas rolled his eyes, trying to look as dramatic as he possibly could. Yann didn’t seem to bite. “Fine”, he admitted, “yes, I’m a little on edge. Can we move on?”
“Why?”
“It’s just… can we move on?”
A long sigh slipped past Yann’s lips and Lucas did feel bad for not being able to tell him oh yeah, it’s because I gotta kill this guy real quick or I’m in deep shit.
Yann finally seemed to accept his faith. “Fine, but seriously, Lucas. Please talk to me if anything’s up.”
“You know I will.”
Yann didn’t seem so sure about that, but to Lucas’ surprise he didn’t say anything else. The rest of the night they spent together, they played FIFA in silence. Lucas felt like the worst friend in the world.
-
The music was loud from inside. When Eliott said a small get-together, he was definitely lying. It sounded like everyone over the age of 20 was inside Eliott’s penthouse apartment, Because, of course he had a penthouse apartment. Lucas didn’t know why he expected anything else; he was rich and famous in the modeling world.
Was he supposed to ring the bell? To knock? No one was going to hear him. Lucas felt the sweat gather in his forehead and he ran the back of his hand to wipe it away. He’d spent about 35 minutes trying to fix his hair before deciding it looked shit anyways and washed the wax out. He went with the logic that if someone hadn’t seen him with wax, they wouldn’t know how he looked and would assume this was his normal look.
Which is also was.
Lucas let his hand hover above the handle for a few seconds, then the door was forcefully pushed open and two people, a man and a woman, stumbled out with laughs bubbling out from their bodies. It was 10pm and Lucas knew he was late. He had to convince himself for three hours that he should just go and not stay home.
The door was left open and he stepped into the dull lit hallway. The music was blasting, and to his surprise it wasn’t dubstep. It was Nirvana. A Nirvana remix perhaps, but still . It made his heart beat a little faster.
The hallway was about the size of half of Lucas’ apartment, and he carefully took his shoes off before stepping in.
He spotted Eliott immediately. Or well, it was extremely hard to miss. Eliott was standing on a table in his living room, arms towards the ceiling and singing along to the song playing. Below him on the floor, his friends were cheering him on.
Eliott’s eyes were closed shut, but as soon as he blinked around the room, their eyes met. An adorable, big grin spread across his face and Lucas’ couldn’t help but blush. God, he looked beautiful. It didn’t seem like he spent any time fixing his hair either, his locks living their own life on his head.
He was wearing a half buttoned up shirt and Lucas had to force himself to not let his eyes wander because it was absolutely too early and too crowded for his body to react to react to Eliott’s bare, sweaty chest.
He swallowed thickly. THen Eliott was on him. He threw his hands around his neck in a loud laugh. “Lucas! I didn’t think you’d come!”
“Of course I would”, Lucas breathed out against his neck. Eliott shivered and Lucas did his best to think it was because of something else than his hot breath against his soft skin- okay. Stop.
“Only three hours too late?”
“Four, almost”, Lucas grinned and Eliott placed his hand on his neck, softly running his thumb down his hairline. Now it was Lucas’ time to shiver.
Eliott smirked. He knew exactly what he was doing. “Come on, I have a few shots prepared just for you.”
“Really?”
Eliott kept the smirk on his face as he grabbed his hand, leading him past the crowds in the hallway to the kitchen.
He wasn’t joking when he said he had the shots prepared. Four of them, each in a different light color, was standing on the counter. In front of them, a note was visibly placed.
RESERVED FOR LUCAS L - TOUCH AND YOU’RE OUT
“Almost aggressive”, Lucas laughed softly and Eliott straightened his back. He looked rather proud of what he had created and Lucas couldn’t help but feel his heart skip a beat.
“Gotta do what I gotta do. Worked hard for these.”
“I bet”, Lucas laughed, “no one wants to be thrown out from Eliott Demaury’s party, what a disgrace.”
“You’re just mocking me”, Eliott pouted.
“Maybe”, Lucas admitted. “Did I miss anything tonight?”
Eliott shook his head. “No, not really. Was mostly waiting for you to arrive.”
Lucas met his eyes and there was no way to stop the slight smile spreading on his face. “You didn’t.”
“I swear”, he replied, voice soft.
Lucas didn’t know what else he supposed to say, so he just shrugged, still not able to wipe the stupif smile off his face. “May I?” he asked, nodding at the alcohol.
Eliott gestured towards the shots and Lucas took that as a yes. He downed them all in a row, trying his absolute hardest not to pull a face as the strong alcohol his his throat. He wasn’t weak.
Eliott was watching him so intensely Lucas thought he was going to melt through the floor. His eyes dropped from Lucas’, down to his lips as he darted his tongue out to get the last drip of the pink, candy flavoured shot. Eliott followed the movement.
It wasn’t because of the alcohol Lucas was having trouble breathing now.
“Eli!” someone yelled, and suddenly the moment was over.
Eliott looked up over his shoulder. “Yeah?”
“There’s paparazzi outside!”
A tall, remotely handsome guy stepped up in between them like he hadn’t even acknowledged Lucas’ presence. He clenched his jaw.
“Ignore them”, Eliott waved his hand at his friend, “if you see them coming in, please let me know.”
“Sure. They were asking for your party but I saw the cameras.”
“Sneaky”, Eliott grinned, “thanks, Joel.”
“No worries.”
The tall guy - Joel - waited for a few more minutes, looking like he wanted to say something else but then changed his mind. With a forced smile, he left the kitchen just as fast as he arrived.
“Sorry”, Eliott said. Lucas didn’t know why.
“No worries”, he shrugged, “tough famous life?”
Eliott pulled a face. “I’m not gonna complain but… some privacy is nice.”
Lucas reached for an unopened bottle of beer standing next to the shots. He had no idea who it belonged to, but Eliott didn’t seem to mind him taking it. “They always gotta know who your next girlfriend is gonna be?”
Eliott huffed, leaning back on the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. “Yeah.”
“Is that why you and Lucille broke up?” Lucas didn’t know why the hell he let that question pass his lips. Eliott stared at him, a flash of hurt across his face. Lucas regretted asking immediately. “Because of the fame?”
“No”, he said shortly, “it wasn’t because of that.“
"Oh. I mean-”
“Here, can you take my drink? I’ll be back soon.” Eliott cut him off.
Lucas said nothing as Eliott placed his drink in his hand, forced a short smile to him and made his way back to the living room.
Lucas swallowed thickly. Fuck, he really was stupid. Glancing down at the drink in his hand, Lucas knew what he was supposed to do. He knew he was being incredibly oblivious; not killing Eliott could risk his own life, and the life of the people he loved. He couldn’t take any risks over a boy he barely knew.
He couldn’t.
Lucas let out a shaky breath and looked over his shoulder. There was no one else in there with him. He knew he had to.
His fingers were shaking way too much as he reached down his pocket, fishing up the two small pills. He hesitated, fingers hovering over Eliott’s drink. Fragments of Eliott’s smile, his intense eyes, played through his mind and Lucas thought he was going absolutely fucking insane. There was no fucking way he could feel something like this so soon-
He dropped the pills.
He dropped the pills and then Eliott entered the room again, greeting him with a big smile as he took his drink back, thanking him for keeping it safe.
He had dropped the pills and Eliott saw nothing as the poison dispersed in his glass.
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wumbo-logy · 6 years
Text
watching that bender montage of bojack s1 while drunk makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE becuase its like SAME!!!!!!!1
i love todd :( 
“maybe i need to stop expecting you t be a good person and then i wont be disappointed” thats really sad but also me af since i basically expect nth from anyone but todd deserves more
you abandoned me and i will never forgive you for that
thsi is all i am and all ill ever be
this is the road i chose
i cant
also when bojack sees diane in snoopy vision is waht i see you like because you’re happy adn you’ve got it figured out and i can imagine you telling me its neevr to late to be ther person i want to be - its proabbly not healthy 
but also maybe i just see you as my charlotte - eben less healthy
harper isa stupif name for a kid bojack you can do tbetter
“daddy?” “harper” “dadyy” “har[er” thats basicaaly how the conversations i had with my baby cousin started and i miss her 
“how things could have been if you had chosen this life” : ( but you didnt adn youre gone - i wih u dnt 
how do you have five theories for 9.11 like i have barely one and hakf
do you think its too late for me
its not too late for me is it
i need you to tell me its not late
i need you tell me that im good
please diane, tell me that im good
fucking john kraskinski is secretariat 
i cant ignore the coincidence
“dear secretariat, when i gro w up and i want to be just like you. my question for you is i am a good kid and i like to paly and go to school but sometike s i get sad but how do i not get sad how fo you not get sAf” “YOU Keep running becuas all that exists for you is ahead” and then he kills himself
just like that
he couldnt outrun himefl
what if i become hat oerson 
“if you cnat be happy tonight you can never be happy” fuck that man
constantly distracted so you dont have to be alone by yourslef - i feel attacked lmao fuck that
im not gonna lie i fot that jacket bcus i know im diane (i got tired of squinting, im sorrry)
the ket ro happiness is to keep yourself busy with unimortante nonsense until you eventually die - same :( 
hello oscar
there’s always later
he;a out with his golden globe so he can remind himself he’s worrth something bcus he wonw it and i get hat i look at pictues of my happy times dso i can remind myself there is somehting tha pmatters
talkedto zhems!!!! finally got to it. i miss hi m and shuo and tiong :( but im happy that i have friends that are fnice. ill make sure i try.
either you know what you want and you dont get what you want or you get what you wnat adn then you dont knw what you want- rhats life isnt it - ita arupid trying becauser you try and everything falss apaert so there’s no poitn trying
there;s alwys later
i really wanted you to like me diane” “inkow” it makes me asd that she only syad i knwo. it reminds me of that stupid call and i feel stupid for aremembering that call i shouldnt eeven think about it but i remember i t hapened and it maeks me sad
ir hurts tso much rhat she dudnt say more. just i kniw, thast fucking nurts. 
he still has his award as he looks acrsos . herb dint forgive him. that usxks but he deserved it. can you feel bad for poeople who drsrved it?
im a kgood kid and i plike to play and l like to good to shcol but sometine i get sad what do you do whan you ge sad
dont sit so close to the tv it’ll make you cruel. i as baeuatiful bevpre i got pregmant; you ruined me boacjl. 
what if i stay liker this forever and nothing gets bretter and i can go ask for help but i only get taht help once a weel pr opnce in twp weeks and thats like 5 times. nth would ceom out of 5 times. but i gues its something. i should try. there’s no harm. unelss its qorse than i pretend it si. what happens tehn
i miss. everythinkg . i wish i had the courage to be laone. but i thikn i actulaly d ont. i want tob e eith u but i dont thin k i do. you’re all smrt nad nice and understanding suddenlt but i know i cant and u sont want this and there’s os much i dont know but i sitll find muself wanting to be w you because you strnegly make me hapy. i havejt mbeen tha happy in a long time. and thad one day with you was the happiest i felt. and maybe tis just projecting ardn msinntepertnig but i felt happy. i want thast again. im tied of being me. i ant to be happy. yuoure; happy. i wnt to be lke you. i ant to be 
not me
i don't thibd I wabt u I just want to be happoy
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7deadlycinderellas · 6 years
Text
Once Upon a Time Over the Rainbow, ch1
(a spinoff of sorts, for There Once Was a Town in Maine. Which I still will totally finish)
Ao3 link
Ruby barely noticed the world swirling around her before being lifted and slammed flat on her back under a beautiful blue sky.
She sits up, her head still spinning. She vaguely hears a voice say “are you alright?”, but she’s possessed with taking in what’s in front of her.
Wherever she’s ended up is beautiful- the flowers and trees are as vividly colored as the sky. Even the crimson blouse she had on seemed brighter than it did when she put it on this morning. She could hear birds singing and the gentle rushing of a nearby stream. Her wolf nose could pick out all sorts of new smells- animals and fruits and more that she couldn’t place.
Wherever she was, she definitely wasn’t in Storybrooke anymore.
Her stupification is interrupted by the sound of first the same voice from earlier, and then by a gentle bark.
“Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” The voice asks.
Ruby looks in the other direction, seeing that the voice is coming from a young woman with dark hair, wearing an old fashioned dress. Her barking companion is a small, brown, very ordinary looking dog.
“I’m not a witch at all”, Ruby answers, mind still dazed.
The other woman looks at her head tilted, “Toto only ever barks at witches.”
Ruby reaches up and touches her face to make sure she’s not bleeding. She doesn’t seem to have injured herself in the fall at least.
“I’m not a witch. He’s probably just confused because I don’t smell like I look”.
“What?”
Ruby shakes her head, “It’s a long story, but I’m not a witch. I don’t even know where I am, much less how I got here”.
“Was it a storm? That’s how I first came here, and the second time was through- oh!”
Suddenly she points at Ruby’s feet. Ruby shifts and dimly realizes that one of her shoes has come off and-
The shoes. It hits her.
They’d been sitting in her room at the inn since the day the curse broke and they fell out of the sky and hit her. She’d tried them on, thinking they might go with her girl’s night out outfit before this all happened.
Presently, Ruby realizes only one of the shoes is still on, the other foot dangling in her argyle sock.
“Did you know where you were coming or were you fleeing something?”
Ruby lifts her foot and removes the remaining shoe- she wouldn’t be able to walk in the uneven heels anyway- and examines it. It’s the same old fashioned buckled shoe it was earlier.
“Are- are these shoes how I got here?”
“The silver slippers are very powerful magic, they can cross dimensions.”
Dimensions? Jesus Christ, everyone in Storybrooke had just regained their memories of home and now she was somewhere else entirely.
But suddenly another thought rushes into her head.
“Wait, if they can cross dimensions does that mean they can bring me home too?
“Sure, if you had them both.”
“But I don’t know what happened to the other one. It must have fallen off when they brought me here.”
“Well wherever the other one ended up, finding it might not be easy. Those slippers got me into a heap of trouble when I first came here. Come on, I’ll loan you a pair of boots. I’m Dorothy by the way”.
The boots are lace up and made of soft leather. They’re a bit big, but beggars can’t be choosers. Dorothy had led Ruby a few hundred feet from where she had landed. The house is a rickety, all wood farmhouse, torn clear from its foundation, set at a strange angle between the grass and the road.
Ruby sits on the end of the bed that Dorothy had pulled the boots from under, pulled them on and laced them tightly. She glances around the house. It’s barely more than a single room, and room, no electric lights, no water pump. It looks like something straight a century old, it looks more like something Red and Granny would have lived in back in the Enchanted forest. Dorothy’s standing near the bucket by the door, tipping it so that Toto could drink from it, and seemingly waiting for Ruby to be ready.
“I guess I should probably ask….where on earth are we?”
“Not Earth”, Dorothy says, not even looking up “Oz”.
“Oz?” Some of Ruby’s Storybrooke memories are prickling at the back of her mind.
“We’re surrounded on all sides by deserts, so anytime someone new comes, magic is usually involved, or at least it used to be.”
“So where are you going to take me?” Ruby asks.
“There’s been a lot of turmoil around the land lately. I’ll take you to the Emerald City, the Scarecrow might be able to give us some information, and maybe Ozma or Glinda have shown back up again.”
Ruby’s head is swimming. The words “Emerald City” makes her want to giggle. She tucks the remaining slipper in her purse. It’s silver, she realizes, if it were red, she might have realized immediately, might have even made a joke when it fell out of the sky and hit her.
When the two of them step outside, Ruby looks down onto the road. The bricks making it up really are a vibrant shade of gold.
They’ve barely gotten out of sight of the house when Ruby can’t keep her questions inside.
“How did you end up in Oz?”
“How could you tell that I’m not from here?”
Ruby laughs. After this past year, this moment almost makes her feel smart.
“I’ve gotten pretty good at spotting things that don’t belong”.
“When I was a little girl, I got swept up in a tornado. Darn thing took the whole house- everyone else was in the cellar of the big house Uncle Henry had spent so long building- lifted us all up and dropped me down here in Munchkinland”.
Ruby can’t restrain a giggle at that.
“Are there still munchkins here?”
Dorothy purses her lips.
“Most of them headed for the city to get away from some of the magical problems that have been going through the land, but there are still probably a few holdouts like- how do you know about the Munchkins?”
“There was a movie, and a book I think…”
Ruby trails off. David had tried so hard to explain it, but it still messed with both her mind and that of singularly both Ruby and Red that there were stories about their lives that had spread across the worlds.
“About Oz? I guess that would make sense. I did talk a lot about it when I got home, and if the Wizard did in fact get back to Kansas in the balloon. He would definitely tell people, though I have doubts that they would believe him.”
She then trails off, suddenly lost in thought. The look on her face looks like the ones Snow sometimes wore, in the early days of their friendship when she hadn’t been the most forthright about her past, and Ruby chooses to let it go.
The yellow brick road has passed through a strangely barren farmland, and is now entering a fairly thick forest. The trees here don’t look quite like they did at home, but the location still makes Ruby a bit homesick. What was even happening in Storybrooke now without her?
Then they pass a tree with a face, and Ruby is back out of her depth again. Dorothy sticks her tongue out at it, and Ruby once again chooses to stay quiet.
At some point, Toto comes up by her side, and Ruby spares a glance at the darkening sky between the trees.
“Uhh, what phase is the moon in right now?” she asks, trying to sound casual.
Dorothy looks at her askance. “I don’t know, why?”
“No reason”, she responds quickly, and picks up her step. She hasn’t transformed since they were home...could she still control it?
Soon after, they reach a clearing near a river. Dorothy sighs deeply.
“We should stop here for tonight. Tomorrow might take some strategy.”
She reaches into her basket and hands Ruby a blanket.
“It’s warm enough that we shouldn’t need a fire, and pretty much anything that could be dangerous has left the forest by now”.
She then stretches out beneath the tree and goes to sleep.
Ruby is awake for some time later. Toto soon wakes too, and comes and sits beside her. She sits up and studies the small dog.
“Thanks for not blowing my cover.”
Her eyes turn to the night sky. She’s very far from being any kind of astronomer, but she can imagine that the stars look different here in Oz than they would at home- either of her homes.
“I guess there really is no place like home.”
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