#need a gender neutral term for daddy and mommy that's still sexy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

libidinous-weeb · 2 years

Text

u know what? i think it’s okay to want more inclusivity in ‘x reader’ smut fanfic. i think it’s okay to be frustrated about how it’s hard to find. if you’re a writer you might be looking for ways to do that but finding it difficult or feeling unsure of a way to do so accurately. i know it can be a bit hard, especially when it’s about sex. i have also seen that some writers are worried about inaccurately representing or depicting diverse readers, especially when it comes to penetration and sex acts involving genitals. if you’re struggling with that and are looking for some ways to be more inclusive here’s some tips! (minors do not interact, obviously)

try to avoid pronouns. non-gendered nicknames and pet names are still fine! if you are concerned about your writing sounding too unnatural, go through and reread it. you’ll find that it sounds a lot more natural than you thought! if “they” still seems awkward in a sentence you can try something like “honey” or change it (if possible, depends on the dialogue) so that the character is talking TO the reader and use they!

some good gender neutral pet names: honey, love, baby, lovely, cutie, babe, master (instead of mommy, daddy, or mistress) or my liege/liege (instead of princess/prince). “good baby” or “that’s my baby” or “there’s a good baby” work instead of “good girl/boy.”

if your fic mentions people referring to the reader as a girl or woman EVEN AS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT, you NEED to mention that if you’ve stated there are no pronouns used.

avoid mentioning hair or skin. with hair that includes both the LENGTH AND THE TEXTURE! some people have hair that won’t allow anyone to run their fingers through it. “running their fingers over your hair/toying with your hair” are great alternatives. avoiding using “soft” or color descriptors when describing hair or skin is also a good idea. (not just for POC but also for people with severe acne, burn scars, people who can’t grow hair, etc.)

avoid mentioning clothing or choose gender neutral clothing. “underwear” is better than “panties.” some trans men do not wear bras and some people don’t wear lingerie. but you can still build anticipation by slowing down the removal of clothing or going into detail about the emotional (mention if the reader/love interest is feeling nervous or anxious or desired) or physical details (is the love interest kissing the reader as they slide up your shirt? are they staring with hooded eyes as more of your skin is being revealed?).

always describing the reader as wearing a dress or skirt or heels or a blouse CAN cause dysphoria esp if your fic is labeled as having a gender neutral reader or does not use pronouns. this one specifically causes me the most dysphoria. (i def agree that the idea of clothing being gendered is stupid, but when it’s mentioned in fics it’s usually prolific in people who write for afab reader and mentioned frequently, SPECIFICALLY by love interest. it’s almost always a comment about how sexy or hot the reader is in the dress, making it seem like the love interest is being turned on by the FEMINITY of the reader.)

you can still portray that the romantic/sexual interest in the fic finds the reader sexy without going into detail about what they’re wearing. try mentioning body parts more, or using pants and shirts because everyone wears them regardless of gender. also a good tip if you still want to include specific clothing in a fic: specify if the reader is feminine or masculine before hand. or if they’re cis, specify that.

for body parts try to avoid using the terms “breasts” or “tits.” instead use “chest” or “nipples” instead. sometimes mentioning how “your breasts fill his hands” or how “your breasts jiggle” can exclude not ONLY people who have had top surgery but also women with smaller breasts. use chest or nipples. having the love interest say “your nipples are so cute and sensitive” or “i love leaving marks around your nipples” or “i love kissing down your chest and making you feel good.”

specify afab or amab reader if you have genital specific penetration in it. i feel like most people are aware but that can cause a LOT of dysphoria for binary (male or female) trans people. and also, your fic can still be for a gender neutral reader if you include afab/amab. if it’s NOT for a gender neutral reader don’t put afab/amab. be aware that assigned gender at birth is something mostly used to describe someone who is transgender. if your reader is cis, don’t use afab/amab. you can also specify trans woman or trans man reader if you are writing about a binary trans reader.

afab does not mean feminine and amab does not mean masculine. as a non-binary person this is a personal frustration of me and a lot of other non-binary trans people. afab nb people are not “woman lite” and amab nb people are not “feminine men.” as a way to make things more inclusive and a good first step into writing for trans readers if you’re not trans, you can try to first write fluff/suggestive fluff with a reader that is masculine but does not use pronouns or one who is feminine but does not use pronouns. feminine does not mean female and masculine does not mean male.

trying to specify if a character is more masculine or feminine? you can do this by getting specific about clothing, (dress or suit? lingerie or silky boxers?) or general features (solid and stocky, or delicate and graceful? facial hair? make up?). but the important thing is how the other characters in the story treat and interact with the reader. a masculine reader is less likely to be fawned over and stared at by every man in the room. they are less likely to be treated like a “lady.” a feminine reader is less likely to be called strong. they’re less likely to be called “bro” and have people use crass sexual language around them (obvs in the bedroom it’s different).

okay, let’s talk about sex now: here’s some tips for writing afab smut. i know most fanfic writers are afab but i’m still gonna go into it! it’s okay to write from the love interests point of view if you are at a loss or don’t have experience with afab genitals. you can write about what actions the reader takes that feels good for them. look up the most sensitive spots on afab bodies. (not gonna super into it cause this is already long and the info is easy to find). in general pleasure is the same regardless of genitals. mentioning tightness or how wet the reader gets and how good they feel are great things to include. focusing on how good the reader feels, or how good they look like they’re feeling. if you’re really feeling unsure or uncomfortable writing afab penetration, remember that everyone likes oral and everyone has a butthole. penetration is supposed to feel good! and penetration is not the be all end all or only way to have sex!

tips for writing amab smut: gonna mention the same thing here! if you’re really not sure you can try switching the POV to the love interest’s perspective! remember that penetration is supposed to feel good, both receiving and giving. writing from the person who’s being penetrated’s perspective is also a good place to start. ever written pegging fics? try writing it the same way but change any mention of “strap” to “dick.” there you go! otherwise my tips are gonna be the same as above. pleasure isn’t gendered. what in general what feels good.

tips for writing gender neutral smut: that’s right! you can, AND you can make it just as hot without mentioning reader’s genitals. writing giving oral is going to be the same regardless of who’s giving it. you can always talk about the love interest putting their head between the reader’s thighs. mentioning licking and sucking is okay because that feels good for everyone regardless of genitals. focus on how it feels instead of what is physically happening. use those adjectives friends. hand stuff? fingering and penetration are gender neutral. we all got holes. put stuff in em. write about it. hell yeah.

stuff to use instead of describing genitals: sex (as a noun), between your thighs/legs, inside/inside of you, hole (yeah i know that one isn’t the most creative but...it’s still hot). penetrating is also gender neutral. try length, you (“you feel so good inside me, i can feel all of you, etc.”) it (it’s so big, i can’t believe it’s inside me, etc,”) describing how the penetration feels or how the person penetrating feels is also good.

a strap on is a dick. if anyone in the story is using one, try having everyone in the story call it that. i know i mentioned it earlier but i want it to have it’s own bullet point. it’s a great way to build up to becoming comfortable with keeping the right pronouns for a trans character mid smut scene, or as practice for writing a fic with a trans man that hasn’t had bottom surgery.

dom and sub and top and bottom are not the same. someone can bottom AND dom. someone can top AND sub. top is who’s penetrating and bottom is who is being penetrated. a switch is someone who likes to both dom and sub. a vers is someone who tops and bottoms. SOMETIMES people use switch instead of verse. if you use or discuss a switch please say what kind of switch. top and bottom is mostly used for gay sex. if you’re writing about a heterosexual cis couple, a cis female reader domming a cis male one, she isn’t topping him. she’s only topping IF she’s using a strap on. using top and bottom when you mean dom or sub is taking and redefining terms created by and for the gay community, so please use them correctly. (my opinion. some may disagree but it seems to be a sense of frustration for many of us.)

you can dom and bottom and you can sub and top. penetration does not determine power dynamics. size and age difference do not determine power dynamics. gender and genitals do NOT determine power dynamics.

listen to your lgbtq+ and poc readers. if you write something and you want to know if it’s inclusive enough or if it portrays lgbtq+ characters just ask and be open to what we have to say. most of us won’t try to attack you, we’ll be grateful you’re trying to write something for us at all. inclusive writing may not get as many notes either, but inclusivity is not about popularity.

if you only feeling comfortable writing for your own gender, even if you’re cis? ask yourself why. is it because thats the only kind of reader you feel comfortable writing? that’s okay. is it because you’re only comfortable writing PIV smut scenes and don’t feel you know enough about other sexual dynamics to be able to portray them well? that’s okay too. but that doesn’t mean that everyone in your story has to be cis. it’s not an excuse for not writing a trans love interest. trans people are diverse. trans men are not all masculine and trans women are not all feminine. non-binary people are not all androgynous. trans men do not all have vaginas and trans women do not all have penises either.

fic writers that only write for a POC or trans reader (or both) are doing as much as they can to bring more inclusivity and diversity among writers. asking us to ‘write more inclusively’ or ‘make the reader more vague so EVERYONE can read it’ or whatever isn’t okay. those of us that write for POC and gay/trans reader are few. a lot of the time we can’t FIND fics written that include us. sooo we create them. instead of complaining, you should reblog their fics.

it’s okay to write for a reader or about a character that is a different race or skin color from you, but you can NOT fetishize them. don’t try to use aave in your fics when you’re white. don’t CHANGE the race of characters that are POC. no mention of how beautiful their skin color is because it’s different than yours. no changing black or brown characters to white. no trying to write characters as “culturally black.” NO talking about bbc or calling physical features or languages exotic. the number one example i can think of is white bnha fans changing sero’s ethnicity to hispanic so he can use spanish bc it’s their kink. do not fetishize languages or cultures or ethnicity or race. that is not inclusivity.

you can write whatever you want, but please tag it and label it correctly. writing is supposed to be fun so do it because you want to. it’s okay to only write for yourself. i’m not trying to tell you you HAVE to write in a way that includes everyone all the time. but please tag your shit right. when you tag shit as afab/no pronouns and then use “baby girl” or promote it as gender neutral amab reader and then make them super fem you’re gonna give people dysphoria. when your fics always describe the reader as white or cis or amab/afab or fem/masc or whatever, label it.

if you like inclusivity and wished you saw more of it, you have to participate. write and reblog inclusive fics. reblog fics from lgbtq+ writers. reblog from POC writers. even if the fic isn’t written for or about you. read fics even tho they’re not. read gender neutral fics. you don’t have to read fics that are about things you don’t like, but read x reader fanfics even when you can’t self insert into them. if you want more diversity or inclusivity, if you think it’s important, YOU have to try to make that happen. instead of reblogging posts about how you support it, do something to show your support.

#smut #smut fanfic #bnha smut #x reader #self insert #writing tips and advice #minors dni obviously #afab reader #god idk what other tags to add #i just want people to read this i spent a lot of time on it #lemon #lmfao if peephole still using that one

76 notes · View notes