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justapurrcat · 2 years

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Tiptoeing Around Your Heart | t.s.h.

Pairing: Tom Holland x fem!ballet dancer!reader

Synopsis: A secret ballet audition brings together a former Billy Elliot and a (possible) future Giselle. What could go wrong?

Word Count: 3.840k

Warnings: English not being my first language, me writing about ballet while not being a dancer, mutual pining but they’re both just idiots.

Tom Holland Masterlist

General Masterlist

A/n: I usually don’t take requests, but I just couldn’t resist this one:

“can you do a fic where tom helps y/n train for her ballet audition”

You could consider this an offspring of Giselle, sweet Giselle and this other cute little jewel both by the lovely @thollandsdarling (I don’t know if this ask was actually addressed to her, honestly, but Mags, if you wanna write it too, I would absolutely love to read your own version of it 💜).

“Remind me again why you asked me to help you out with this”, Tom sighed in fake irritation as he stretched his arms. At first, he had tried to keep up with your exercises, but after seeing all of the crazy bending they involved, he had quickly given up.

After all, he was only supposed to give you a hand, which probably meant holding your waist while you were doing pirouettes and simple things like that, so he had opted for a lighter warm-up.

Fuck, he hadn’t felt that similar to a piece of wood ever since that day he was getting ready to shoot a sequence with Willem Defoe, but in the humiliating tragedy – okay, maybe he was exaggerating a little – he had discovered a silver lining to it. Not doing much meant he could look at you more, and look at you more he did.

The way you moved was nothing short of entrancing, your flexible body conveying both gracefulness and strength, every muscle being perfectly under control, allowing you and your flawless lines to paint an invisible, yet mesmerising art in the air, your limbs shaping themselves like you had no sharp angles whatsoever.

You didn’t even know it, but God, you practically had him wrapped around your finger. And he was going to lose his mind when you would actually start dancing. Just like he did whenever he showed up to your shows. Always in the front row, of course.

Hand on the barre, you leaned back, grinning at him from upside-down when he entered your field of vision. “Because I need to try some steps with a partner”, you told him, not a trace of struggle in your voice, as if you were sipping a cup of tea.

Tom was one of the two people knowing about this audition, the other being your dance teacher who had suggested you’d give it a try. Consequently, that made him the only person you had told. The only person with whom you had shared that information.

Unless it was necessary, you had never been keen on telling people about something important until it was done. Exams, medical visits, auditions… all things that already tended to put a lot of pressure on you. Having the responsibility of people’s expectations weighing on your shoulders would only stress you further.

You hated it, because it could make you sound ungrateful, but even having them cheering for you would cause you to get anxious, the fear of disappointing them clinging to you like an enthusiasm-sucking parasite. So, you preferred to deliver the news after everything was over, negative feelings taken off.

With Tom, though… with Tom it was different. Everything was different.

At the risk of sounding melodramatic, you would’ve entrusted him with your life. Yet there you were, able to tell him everything but the things you were dying to confess.

“Plus, revising a bit of ballet wouldn’t kill you”, you added with a shrug, trying to shake those feelings off of you as you straightened your back in one fluid motion.

Read the room, y/n. Read the fucking ballet room.

You moved away from the barre, going to sit on the floor and Tom pretended to scoff and roll his eyes when you looked at him, earning a little chuckle from you. But in reality, he almost couldn’t tear his gaze from you. His teacher had told him once that a good dancer can be recognized even from the way they walk on stage and bloody hell was your walk fucking amazing. The elegant sway of your hips, the muscles of your back… he was on the verge of drooling like a Saint Bernard.

Tom shook his head, mentally slapping himself and decided it was the moment for a pause. He knelt down, reaching for his backpack to grab his bottle of water, but the damn mirror wasn’t going to give him a break.

He had his back turned to you, and it was the same for you, but he still witnessed every single moment of it. With his throat running dry, he watched you lay down on your back, holding your legs up and then slowly parting them. And you didn’t stop, no, you kept going and going, until they were literally touching the floor.

Holy shit, how could you even open your legs like that? And why the fuck was it so easy for Tom to imagine himself between them, hovering over you to brush his lips over yours, as his hands caressed your inner thighs, teasingly getting closer and closer to your–no. No, no, no, no, no.

He had to think of something else. He needed to.

“First of all, fuck you”, he said without thinking, the words leaving his mouth probably surprising him more than you. But oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. “Second of all, fuck you.”

You sat up, turning around and locking gazes with his reflection, a silent question shaping itself in your raised eyebrows.

Tom pouted like a baby, letting go of his water – he wasn’t really that thirsty, it was more… metaphorical – and standing up, finally facing you. “I’ve never been able to stretch like that, not even in my Billy Elliot days of glory”, he clarified.

You got up as well, flashing him an amused expression. “Relax, movie-star: you won’t have to do much”, you replied, your light-hearted tone carrying a sweet note of reassurance. “Just watch and tell me if it looks good to you.”

“And what about the couple steps?”, he wondered, tilting his head to the side a bit. To be blatantly honest, that was the part he looked forward to the most. He absolutely adored seeing you dance, you were a literal joy for the eyes. But being your partner, he would’ve had the occasion to hold you close, to be loved by you, even if it was just pretense…

“I just need you to help me with my balance and to move me around a bit”, you explained, barely holding back a dreamy sigh at the image of you, nestled in his strong arms, that flashed through your mind due to your own sentence…

“I’ll do the rest”, you continued, dismissing it immediately. “And if you’re comfortable we can try a couple of lifts. Not complicated stuff, we’re not taking risks.”

Tom nodded along, understanding what you meant with that. It wasn’t that you didn’t think he could be capable of lifting you, because he was, but despite his classical training, he had little to no experience as a porteur, and had things gone wrong, he could’ve injured himself. “Mh. I can do it.”

“Great, come here”, you invited, beckoning him closer and then guiding him towards the centre of the room. “Let’s try this with no music, and while I’m still not sweaty.”

“Charming”, he commented, winking at you, completely ignorant that your heart skipped a beat at that simple action, and you simply smiled and glanced at the ceiling, forcing out a little breathy laugh, no witty comeback coming in your favour.

But now you couldn’t have time for that. Now it was the moment to concentrate. So you cleared your throat and switched to your professional instructor mode, explaining to your partner the steps, the context, the story, the meaning behind each gesture, even the tiniest details of the little fragment you were going to practise. It was only a minute, literally nothing when compared to the full ballet, but it was a dense one – at least for the performer of Giselle –, almost entirely on pointe, and it contained one of your favourite bits, right in the first few seconds.

Tom listened to you religiously, like the most attentive student, the smug spark in his eyes now totally vanished, replaced by a stubborn determination. He wasn’t gonna let you down. When he gave you the green light and a thumbs up, you took a few steps back, getting ready to start, to let Giselle take over.

“Five, six, seven, eight…”

You made your way towards him and he did the same, your right hands reaching out and intertwining with each other, being held against your chests, as you went on point and rested your head on his shoulder, your free arms wrapping around the other’s body in a tender embrace.

With your hand above his heart, Tom’s eyes fluttered shut, and he breathed in your delicate scent of lilies and jasmine, savouring the feeling of completeness your presence in his arms gave him.

However, the ballet told a precise story, and this was nothing but a sweet, wistful moment, a glimpse of calm the two lovers had managed to rip from the unforgiving course of time… and it wasn’t destined to last. For that reason, after an instant Tom unwillingly took a step back, and that was your cue.

You slowly lifted your leg, compensating it by leaning back with your torso, your hand secured in his being the sole support for your balance.

There it was: this, along with the hug, was your favourite part. It wasn’t particularly complicated, but you liked the idea of the joined hands being the centre of it all, like both Giselle and Albrecht were combining their pleas, pouring them in an affectionate touch. There could be so much behind an apparently insignificant thing and it fascinated you beyond words.

Tom didn’t flinch. Not even a little, no matter how violently the fear of messing up was flooding his veins with liquid ice.

When you came back from it, you turned around, still standing on one leg, and he was there to support you, firmly grabbing your waist with one hand, just like you had told him.

There was not much left for him to do, the next steps involving you arching your back and then leaning forward, your raised leg coming to form a perfect continuous line with the one you were supporting yourself on. So, he simply took you in in all your melancholic glory, as your upper body ondulated so effortlessly, reminding him of flowers being caressed by the breeze.

When you stood straight again, on two feet again – even if not for long – Tom’s free hand joined the other around your waist, and he gingerly helped you turn around, handling you with such attention and care that it felt like a soft cuddle.

In the middle of that motion, you switched your supporting leg, and proceeded to bend forward once again, only with a subtle variation to it. Now, your pose resembled the one you would’ve adopted while executing a gran jeté, only it was like you had been frozen in the middle of the jump and rotated in vertical, with Tom holding you up and moving you like you were a little figure spinning inside of a silent music box.

You stood up as he came to a halt, but then immediately leaned forward again, you were trying to reach out, sheltering yourself in another, this time invisible, hug. And then, Tom began walking backwards, and you had no choice but to stand you up and abandon yourself to him, following his lead like it was the most natural thing ever – like the two of you had been carved into existence to dance with each other –, your little tiptoe steps keeping up with his strides until he stopped.

The segment was approaching its conclusion. Still keeping a hand around your waist, Tom mimicked your movement as you raised an arm and slightly arched your back. That transitioned in you repeating the position from before, once again as if you were yearning to hold something that no longer existed if not in your memory.

And so it ended, with Tom definitely pulling you onto your feet and restoring your balance, his chest almost touching your back, his breath tickling the nape of your neck, sending a million little shivers all over your body and causing your skin to tingle with an excitement you found very difficult to contain.

You had been dancing to silence, but now that everything had stopped, it felt like it had been increased tenfold, the soft echoes of your mixed breathings resonating in that empty room like whispers in a sacred place.

It felt… intimate. Nothing had ever felt that intimate.

The two of you had even happened to share a bed several times, often waking up in the most absurd postures – and most of it was Tom’s doing, since you tended to remain quite still while sleeping, while he was more on the chaotic, restless side –, to the point where it could no longer embarrass you.

Yet there you were, doing nothing, but still being shaken to the core by it.

“A-and next you should lift me, so we can end it here”, you told him, attempting to come out of that impasse. You found the courage to look at his reflection in the mirror, only to discover that he was already staring at you, his bewitching signature puppy eyes digging a hole in your heart. You wanted to compliment him, to thank him for his kindness and patience, but not a sound dared to come out of your parted lips.

Little did you know that it was taking Tom everything in his power not to gently hold your chin between his fingers, carefully turn your head and kiss your breath away. His whole being was begging him to give it a try, to take that final step that terrified him so much, to finally open his heart and soul to the enrapturing creature in his arms, leaving her with the choice to tear it to pieces, or to cherish it like the most priceless treasure.

With a puzzling defeated sigh, he let go of you, his hands curiously lingering on your waist a little longer than necessary…

“Did I do things right?”, Tom asked you once you’d turned around. He gulped, looking like a child waiting for his parents to scold him. Sure, he had done his best, but what if he had made mistakes without noticing? What if you had noticed – what the Hell was he thinking, it went without saying, that you had – them? What if he had made a fool of himself? What if he had made you uncomfortable?

You were tempted to cup his face and kiss the tip of his nose, instantly – and quite reluctantly – deciding against it. It would’ve been weird, especially after that awkward… whatever that was. “You were perfect, Tom.”

The loveliest shade of bright pink coated his cheeks and ears. You loved it when it happened. “Oh come on”, he coyly dismissed that, scratching the back of his hair. “You were the one doing everything. I was merely a pivot.”

“An extremely essential and well-versed pivot”, you insisted, and despite your joking tone, you truly meant it: he had been more attentive and considerate at his first try than many of your other partners after dozens of lessons. Without a complaint, he had followed you smoothly, as if you had been rehearsing that segment for months.

But it wasn’t just that: Tom had a natural talent, something a person simply couldn’t learn. He had been away from ballet for so long, all of his filming projects literally changing his life, asking him to train and shape his body differently… and sometimes you found yourself wishing he would’ve continued dancing, instead of pursuing an acting career.

You wished he would’ve stayed.

It was selfish, dreaming of stealing him away from Hollywood – the same way that glamourous world had stolen him from you –, just to be able to hold his hand on a stage, to tell the most wonderful stories through the harmonic synch of your bodies, to live a hundred different lives by his side, changing while remaining the same…

It was selfish, and you hated yourself for it, but it would’ve been so beautiful…

“Shut up”, Tom downplayed your compliment, but a smile still crawled its way to his lips: you seemed satisfied, happy even, and that was all he wished for. “You know, I kinda felt like a thief, watching you for free”, he confessed.

You tapped your chin, pretending to actually consider it. “Well, I’m not opposed to getting paid…”, you told him, nonchalantly raising your hand, palm upwards, but he dramatically pushed it out of the way.

“I said kinda”, he argued, his voice coming out in an outraged gasp, while his free hand flying up to his chest.

You returned the blow, playfully smacking his arm. “Stingy.”

Tom winked at you, showing you his middle finger and you chuckled at the silly way he wiggled his eyebrows.

“No, but jokes aside…”, he spoke after a while – because he had lost himself in the sweet sound of your laugh like a proper idiot –, returning serious. “You were amazing, y/n. I mean it.”

“Thank you”, you murmured softly, heat blooming on your cheeks and spreading across your face, neck and ears. And then you gave him a smile and it felt like a spotlight being directed right into his eyes with no remorse whatsoever.

“Uhm…” Undergoing the titanic effort not to let his jaw drop to the floor, Tom did his best to appear unfazed, neutral, keeping himself together like a pro. But on the inside, he was screaming like a banshee.

“So… this guy who might play the Albrecht dude…”, he mentioned, realising too late what he had done. Being so desperate to fill the silence and change the topic, he had chosen the one he had been trying to ignore ever since you had told him the story of Giselle.

Your partners had always been a taboo in your conversations, with an honourable mention to Mike, who had kissed you in Romeo and Juliet – Harry and Sam had teased him for an entire week after witnessing it happen in the show. Tom despised Mike like few other things…

Not that he had ever actively manifested his annoyance while talking about it, though, of course: it was your job and, sadly, you weren’t together. And even if, by chance or miracle, you had been, he was well aware he wouldn’t have had any right to say something about the situation.

So he would swallow the bitter pill and support you through it all, because that was what friends did, and your happiness and well-being came first for him.

But for some reason, you would never tell him about any of those guys. Every time the two of you talked, you seemed to forget them… and he certainly wasn’t complaining. Because deep down, and he knew it was extremely wrong, but he couldn’t help it: he was jealous.

“He’s…”, Tom trailed off, desperately looking for something, anything to say. “… tall, huh?”

Yeah, sure, go with the height, Tom, he scolded himself, wanting to kick his brain. Great plan, genius.

“You mean Will?”, you wondered, blinking repeatedly, confused by the unexpected question. When he didn’t answer, you took it as a yes. “Uh, yeah, kind of”, you mumbled, feeling incredibly awkward. “He’s like 6ft 5’ or around that. Maybe more.” And now you were just being unsensitive, what the fuck was wrong with you?!

“To be honest, I’m afraid I’ll look like a dwarf next to him”, you added, hoping it would somehow fix the mess caused by what was by no doubt sounding like a bunch of nonsense to his ears.

“Then they shouldn’t hire him”, he muttered dryly.

“Tom!”

“What? I want you to look good on stage”, he justified himself, raising his hands like they were proof of the lack of malice in his thoughts.

And, most importantly, not dancing in the arms of a muscular giant. He bit his tongue not to add that. I can be your muscular not-giant. I can get even more muscular if you want me… okay, now he was getting pathetic.

“And…” He bit the inside of his cheek, cringing at what he was about to ask you. “Do you have to kiss or…?” It might have sounded stupid, but it wasn’t. He was here to offer you his help, right? You could’ve used a hand to rehearse that scene as well…

Several different questions cluttered your mind. Why was he asking about this? Why was he so interested in what you and Will were going to do? Why did he want to know? What did he want to know?

“Uh… no”, you denied, your voice barely louder than a whisper. “No kisses in this production.”

Tom didn’t even bother to mask his disappointment. “Isn’t it a love story?”

“Among other things, yes.”

“But no kiss.”

“She keeps him alive until morning despite him being the reason behind her death…”, you countered, not quite feeling the need for a kissing scene. And not particularly looking forward to sharing it with Will, either. “I think that’s pretty close.”

Tom looked at you in an indecipherable way, his lips pressing themselves into a thin line, his eyes running over your features. “Yeah, I guess…”, he agreed unconvincingly. And there went his chance.

His reaction left you with an uneasy burden on your shoulders and a bitter taste lingering in your mouth. Was this his friendly, kind tentative to drop a subtle hint about the fact that you had been so pathetically alone for so long that even the unusual suggestion of requesting to add a kiss on stage seemed like an ideal solution?

It had to be. You had no other explanation for it.

“I can always ask, though”, you offered weakly.

“Yeah, you should”, Tom confirmed with an energetic nod, the blow that finally knocked you out for good.

You didn’t say anything, head sinking between your shoulders as your defeated gaze dropped to the ground.

And because of that you didn’t see the way his eyes went round, growing twice their size, as he became fully aware of his own statement.

Holy shit, he was literally encouraging you to go and kiss another guy!

“No. You shouldn’t”, he frantically rushed to correct himself, causing your head to snap up just as quickly, that incorregible glimpse of hope always ready to be restored by the tiniest resemblance of a clue…

“It would be unprofessional”, he articulated seriously, praying to all of the Saints he remembered that his reasoning would convince you. That he would convince you. “Like, awfully unprofessional. Beyond words unprofessional”, he stressed out. “If it’s not in this production, you shouldn’t.”

Sure, Tom was talking about work, yet you couldn’t help a feeling of relief flourishing in your chest. “Yeah, you’re right, I shouldn’t.”

“You definitely shouldn’t”, he repeated to further reinforce the concept. But he committed the fatal mistake of letting his guard down, giving your warm smile full access to his vulnerability.

His next words took advantage of that, slipping past his lips before he could process them. Let alone stop them. “Could we kiss, though?”

“What?”

A/n: I know, it sucks, but I had to write it... to whoever requested this, I hope it didn’t disappoint you that much, and thank you for sending the ask! 💜

If you’re interested, here you can find the version of the Giselle pas de deux that I used as reference (the part Tom and y/n rehearsed starts at 2:36 and ends at 3:38). The way I described it doesn’t make it justice, but it’s really worth a watch!

Taglist: @thollandsdarling @hunnybunimdun @namoreno @nocturnalms @vendettaparker @wildxwidow @mn-jun @thisisparadisemylove @belovedholland @blankspaceblankday @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @mrparkerwillseeyounow @indouloureux @hemlockhearts @obsessed-with-a-fictional-man @melodicheauxxo @seolaseoul @peteprker @peetahpahkah @marajillana @yeetzel

(Let me know if you wanna be added or removed, add yourself to my taglist or follow me on my writing side-blog @lia-s-liabrary and turn the notifications on)

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x fem!reader #Tom Holland x dancer!reader #tshwritersnet #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tiptoeing around your heart

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markwatkinsreviews · 10 months

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CINEMA REVIEW: ASTEROID CITY (2023)

I have mixed feelings, borne out in my rating, which I wish could be higher based on the superb scenery and weirdness of the plot and geekiness of the characters, especially the young folk talking to the old folk BUT although I did spontaneously LOL three times, overall, it was confusing to follow a colourful 1950s desert/space movie interspersed with a black & white subtext ( a la David Lynch's, Inland Empire)

...the word for it (I had to look it up!) is metatextual (plot)...

not to mention any split-screens- scenes which gave little chance to take in all the minor details - thoughtful touches placed.

Brilliant that the "cartoon" asteroid fetching alien (on later reveal) was played by Jeff Goldblum and I can only hope repeated watching's on DVD reveal more that hangs together, rather than my cinema experience, hanging apart.

Even with not so clear lines, there's a lot of good character cameos, including by Bryan Cranston (TV host), Maya Hawke (teacher), Steve Carell (motel manager), Willem Defoe (teacher of acting) with "scarlet-woman" Scarlett Johansson's star shining the brightest.

Conclusion: loving the set, loving the alien, not loving the script.

Rating: 7/10

Trailer https://youtu.be/9FXCSXuGTF4

Mark Watkins (seen at Reading Vue 6 July, 2023).

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swagmother · 11 months

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Alright, here comes 10+ movie reviews from some miscellaneous week in March that I guess I was particularly compelled to watch multiple erotic things, feel free to scroll by very quickly and ignore me forever :

Secretary: it was alright…. Empowering in ways some might say but also sexual but not necessarily because it also begs the question: what is …. Sex(y)??? No one will ever know…. :[

All Ladies Do It: This was definitely sexual and also a solid 3/5 at a generous most, I think most people like butts so if you yourself are a butt enthusiast you’d probably have no qualms watching this

Couples Retreat: Awful…. Vince Vaughn is incidentally the inventor of guitar hero in this but it’s really just about how you should preserve bad relationships, Get this out of my face

Never Been Kissed: Another awful movie! It certainly had potential initially but things started getting exceedingly worse extremely fast, this movie does not see anything wrong with a high school teacher being attracted to a supposed 16 year old, and when it’s revealed Drew Barrymore actually isn’t 16 and is an undercover reporter, he’s like “you LIED, how could you….” Buddy…. Wow

All My Friends Hate Me: this one was pretty alright, if you have an anxiety disorder and watch this you will probably be really upset after because it turns out your friends actually do hate you and you’ve been a big pathetic narcissistic loser your whole life!!! And if they don’t think that yet, your anxiety will definitely make them feel that way soon…. That’s the moral of the story

Violent Cop: true to its name, this is about a cop who certainly has an adjective of sorts. I think this also was pretty alright, I really enjoyed the direction and cinematography which I expected because those qualities (among others) were also very strong in the previous Takeshi Kitano films I’ve seen! I do think this was my least favorite of his so far though, the SA stuff felt a little unnecessary in my opinion, plot was alright

The Boondocks Saints: I think I may have seen this at some point during highschool but if so I certainly didn’t remember. This just felt like a ginormous Tarantino rip off but it was still good ish…. Willem Defoe of course was amazing, that uhh goon for the mafia with the long hair was pretty funny… other than that I kinda hated it tbh I lied before sorry

The Worst Person in the World: I feel like i don’t have that much to say about this one but I really enjoyed it. It was just a really good movie with much pain and humor as well, i would recommend it….

In the Realm of the Senses: big sex movie, it was way more fucked up than I had anticipated and I even saw things that I uhhh I don’t know I was kinda uncomfortable! That’s all I have to say

Antichrist: big sex movie, it was way less fucked up than I had anticipated but it was still fucked up… I had been meaning to watch this for years and it did not disappoint, like I’ve been saying since the day I was born: live spelt backwards….. is evil

Ravenous: this was a good cannibal movie, and I don’t mean just like “good” but I mean it is so good its the first time I watched a cannibal movie and I was like hmmm I should definitely send my cells to get synthesized into meat as soon as it is accessible to the public so I can eat myself and make my friends eat me too and then they can get their own synthesized meat and I’ll eat them too and it will be extremely chill times

Force Majeure: if i was the wife I would’ve uhhh…. I don’t know I think just doing anything would be better than staying with this big loser…. The kids are super toxic as well and giving very bad vibes, she certainly needs to cut ties with those toxic ipad children and Mr. Loser like imagine going on a skiing trip with this gaggle of goons and you think you’re about to die from an avalanche and your husband abandons you and your children but it was a false alarm and everyone’s fine and your husband is like “haha that was close good thing I was right there next to you guys the whole time” and then he whines and cries about being a big loser the whole rest of the trip

Shotgun wedding: it was fine

The Hunt: this was also fine

Dogtooth: this was great and also really fucked up I would absolutely recommend it

Maniac: this was… I have mixed feelings about this… I think Elijah wood does a pretty good job at acting which is a really good skill to have when you act for a career. There were also some cool gore moments/practical effects but not many overall, this take on a first person pov was…. Interesting

The Stunt Woman: I thought this was good! I really enjoyed watching it, Michele Yeoh is extremely cool and it was a touching movie…

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thorntonkrell-blog-blog · 3 months

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Through the grapevine I leaned about Poor Things a few months ago when I first heard raves about Emma Stone's performance in a film that might be coming to a theater near me. If I was in Rochester, no doubt that the film would be available because we have the always reliable Little theater to release movies that have a limited release due to the "artiness" of their presentation. Artiness tends to mean their distance from the marvelous and the pursuit of popularity.

I like Emma Stone. I was glad she won a Golden Globe for her performance as best actress for her role in Poor Things. I'm also a fan of Willem Defoe and Mark Ruffallo who were also nominated.Aside from that I knew nothing about the film so I was pretty sure that I would be surprised by the film. I didn't expect to be astonished/flabbergasted.

I didn't expect such an orgasmic performance from Emma. If I put on my prude hat, I can honestly say Poor Things is the that this is the Filthiest movie ever to be nominated for so many awards so apparently prurience is on the rise.

Taking off that heavy hat, what's the problem with full frontals and female orgasms.

Nuthin' wrong with any of that.

Poor things is like a combination Frankenstein, Edward Scissorhands, Bride of Frankenstein, mixed somehow with steam punk, extreme brash humor and sexual liberation.

Emma plays Bella Baxter. Bella is the recreation of Godwin (God) Baxter played by the great Willem Dafoe who portrays both Doctor and monster Frankenstein who guides Bella through her awkward, stumbling Elsa Lancaster stage of development although unlike Elsa, Bella is not horrified by her manufactured state but rather enbraces it with a splendid awkwardness as she lurches around breaking glass in the privacy of God's London townhouse. Also unlike Elsa, Emma is seeking human connection which leads hr into the arms of Duncan Wunderburn (played by Mark Ruffalo. Duncan takes Bella on an uncontrollable journey of debauchery highlighted by a trip to Paris where Belle gets a taste of the oldest profession and she loves it (particularly the furious jumping)which demolishes Wunderburn and leads her back to God and her betrothed.

Yeah

Poor Things has a built in Oscar advantage to balance out the disadvantage of fornication, full frontalism, penises and pubic hair. The advantage is that Poor Things despite the eye popping costumery, snappy editing, hallucingenic cinematography is not going to draw a big crowd. It's too poetic to be popular in spite of Emma's stagggering performance.

When the movie ended I semi-whispered "Whoa".

The other male in the audience raised my "whoa" with "I wasn't expecting THAT!" THAT includes Emma/Belle experiencing multiple orgasms which are captured up close and personal as he batttles against the power of patriarch towards her eventual liberation through innocent impudence and child like abandon.

Yeah

Poor Things sure ain't Barbie.

I preferred Barbie, myself but ....

Whoa.

Yorgos Lanthimos seems delighted in depicting extreme behavior within pristine settings, whether it’s the quiet suburbia of “Dogtooth” or the clinical lab of “The Lobster” or the opulent grandeur of “The Favourite.” That glaring contrast between the expectations of decorum and the messy truth of humanity seems to fascinate him endlessly.

Willem Dafoe on God's relationship with Bella at the 'Poor Things' premiere in NYC

Nowhere is this conflict more exaggerated and entertaining than in his latest film, and his best yet, “Poor Things.” Everything here is wonderfully bizarre, from the performances and dialogue to the production and costume design. And yet at its core, as is so often the case in the Greek auteur’s movies, “Poor Things” is about the awkwardness of forging a real human connection. We want to know each other and make ourselves known. The figure at the film’s center, Bella Baxter, seeks to achieve enlightenment, become her truest self, and establish enriching relationships with people who genuinely love her and don’t just want to control her. The nuts and bolts of this story may sound familiar: A young woman embarks on an odyssey of exploration and finds her identity was within her all along. The execution, however, is constantly astonishing.

It's Victorian London, and Emma Stone’s Bella lives in a tasteful townhouse with the mad scientist who also serves as her father figure. As Dr. Godwin Baxter, Willem Dafoe offers a gentle presence beneath his scarred visage. Bella is a grown woman but behaves like a toddler at first, grunting out words and throwing plates and dancing gleefully around stiff-legged. She calls him God, and that’s actually not hyperbole. We will learn the backstory behind all of this in time, and I wouldn’t dream of giving any of it away here.

Godwin is one of several men who try to mold Bella over the course of her development; one of his students, Max McCandles (Ramy Youssef), is another. Max moves in with the intention of assisting Godwin in his research but ends up falling in love with Bella and asking her to marry him, and Youssef brings an element of warmth and reason to this otherwise mad world. But he’s no match for Mark Ruffalo, an obvious cad with the very proper name of Duncan Wedderburn, who whisks her away on a lavish world tour. This consists mostly of vigorous sex in a variety of positions—which Bella calls “furious jumping” in her rapidly maturing mind—and it’s a key element to both her independence and the film’s brash humor.

Reuniting with Lanthimos after “The Favourite,” Stone gives the performance of a lifetime in a role that has a staggering degree of difficulty. This could have gone horribly wrong; instead, what she’s doing is wildly alive and unpredictable in ways large and small. Watching her start out big and broad and fine tune the character little by little, physically and verbally, as Bella evolves is a wonder to behold. She’s doing such technically precise comedic work here, especially during the character’s childlike origins, but eventually she’s captivating when she’s fully in command as a sexually liberated woman. Enormously likable, she quickly wins us over to her side even when she’s being an impudent brat, and she keeps us rooting for her in the face of increasing patriarchal oppression.

Ruffalo, meanwhile, is hysterically funny in a way you’ve never seen him before. He’s both a charismatic Lothario and a preening buffoon. He’s also unexpectedly sexy, and, in time, amusingly pathetic. Also among the stacked supporting cast are comedian Jerrod Carmichael and German legend Hanna Schygulla as traveling companions who give Bella a boost in her quest toward self-possession. A sly bit involving a book on a cruise ship is particularly funny. The petite but powerful Kathryn Hunter, so startling recently as the Witches in Joel Coen’s “The Tragedy of Macbeth,” provides a spicy, spiky presence as a Paris madame, but even that small role includes shading you might not expect at the outset.

So much of what is pleasing about “Poor Things” comes from the specificity of the language. In adapting the novel by Alasdair Gray, Tony McNamara’s screenplay begins in intentionally disjointed and stilted fits and starts, but it has a rhythmic poetry about it. The dialogue becomes more florid as Bella blossoms in her intellectualism, and it’s a joy to watch Stone seize upon the complexity of her proclamations. McNamara’s writing here isn’t as deliciously mean as it was in Lanthimos’ “The Favourite,” but it bounces along with a witty bite all its own.

In creating the grandiosity of this world, Robbie Ryan’s cinematography is stunningly beautiful in varied textures and hues. “Poor Things” begins in grainy black and white when Bella is more childlike, with plenty of fish-eye lenses and peepholes to keep us off balance and urge us to lean closer. But it steadily opens up into lush, wondrous color as Bella comes into her own; the nighttime skies during the ocean voyage portion of her journey are particularly awesome. This evolution may sound obvious, but it feels like a magic trick he’s pulled off right before our eyes.

The costume design from Holly Waddington convincingly tells Bella’s story in detailed, vibrant ways. Simple white nightgowns in her girlish state give way to puffed-sleeve explosions, each more elaborate than the last. And the production design from Shona Heath and James Price—where to begin in singing their praises? From Godwin’s slightly off-kilter house to a luxurious Lisbon hotel to a cramped Paris brothel, each new setting imaginatively reinvents the kinds of historical images we might think we know, only through an outlandish prism with hints of Escher and Gaudi.

But none of these exquisite technical elements matter if we don’t care about the woman at the center of them. And we do. Bella remains kind and optimistic even as she sees the truth of the outside world, but she’s also learned enough to assert her newfound power when necessary. It’s as if “Barbie” were actually about Weird Barbie, but even that idea doesn’t quite do it justice. A more apt description is: It’s the best movie of the year.

Willem Dafoe on God's relationship with Bella at the 'Poor Things' premiere in NYC

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voluptuarian · 2 years

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Watched The Northman trailer this morning and then was literally in bed when this thought came to me, but I was so seized with the idea that I could not sleep until I’d gotten this out

Am I crazy, or does it look very clearly like Amleth in this is an Úlfhéðnar? (For the uninitiated) Short version, Úlfhéðnar are like Berserkers, but rather than bear-themed (ber = bear; serk = shirt) they were based around wolves. Like berserkers, they were super-powered, supposedly invulnerable to flame and bladed weapons, and went into blind battle-rages fueled by self-induced hysteria or drugs.

So, my first watch of the trailer, I noticed Amleth in a wolf’s pelt and didn’t pay it much mind. My second viewing I realized the possible significance of it, and also, that he had a bunch of friends with him, also in wolf pelts, and they’re at war.

Add to that these shots

So we have a bunch of naked or semi-naked warriors involved in some kind of ritual led by a man in a horned helmet

Basically the exact scenario seen on this carving, from Sweden, representing an Úlfhéðnar

And I mean, that’s a recipe for Egger’s favorite thing, nudity, nocturnal rituals, and situations where all kinds of Wyrd shit could happen and the audience has no way of knowing if it’s just a trip, a hallucination, or a Real Thing that actually happened.

And then, getting to that flashback glimpse of baby!Amleth and Willem Defoe looking hella like they’re at a sweatlodge, having some important-seeming talk about destiny, coming-of-age etc. But there’s another shot of baby!Amleth and his dad that seems to be happening at the same time and place

where both of them are naked and down on all fours like animals. So I’m thinking, not only is Almeth an Úlfhéðnar, but he went through some kind of initiation here, with Dad showing him the ropes.

Then, after his escape, he became a Úlfhéðnar full time, which is what we saw in the first shots of him in a wolfskin, and during the apparent seige here, where he is not only pumped to Fuck and kicking a lot of ass, but seemingly blind to a lot of the chaos going on around him

At some point after, he gets real clothes, and cleans up a little, and stows away on a boat to return home and meet Anya Taylor-Joy. Then, the shots of him cleaned up and with short hair I think are from near the end. (I say this because the climax of the original story’s revenge cycle comes when Amleth burns his uncle’s castle to the ground, which seems to be what we’re seeing here)

An interesting thing, is that that would imply this shot is also from the finale

Which would seem to be showing him a berserker rage again, fighting someone. Also both of them appear to be naked again, which, would back up the idea that this is a berserker thing (so is his uncle an Úlfhéðnar, too?) And at first glance I thought they were fighting against the aforementioned burning castle, but on second look I realized no, they’re fighting in front of an erupting volcano

This volcano, perhaps?

Also unrelated to any of this, but I have so many questions about this guy

because not only is he clearly holding Willem Defoe’s mummified head (Robert, is this a Cult of the Skull reference? Is it??) but he’s wearing women’s tortoise brooches and what looks like an apron dress (also women’s wear) which would seem completely unexplained except for the fact that the Norse saw high-level magic as the province of women, and viewed men dabbling in it as unseemly and out of role.

I have so many questions, but I’ve now gone from “this looks cool” to actively Very Excited to see this.

#thank GOD that's done #now I can sleep in peace #the northman #robert eggers #berserker #ulfhednar #the northman spoilers

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estelscinema · 2 years

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The Northman

A young Viking prince quest to avenge his father's murder.

The Northman is easily one of my most anticipated films of the year. As someone who loves Norse Mythology and Viking history, I was really looking forward to seeing someone like Robert Eggars do this fantastic and fascinating culture to life. With someone like Eggars behind the camera, safe to say that he stuck the landing spectacularly but also brutally in his own signature. The Northman is a brutal and trippy historical epic worth of Valhalla.

The Northman tells the classic tale of an exile prince taking revenge on an evil uncle. Many would say that this story itself is unoriginal. However, The Northman is adapted from the Danish legend "Prince Amleth," which inspired William Shakespeare Hamlet. So the Northman is the OG of this classic tale. Furthermore, you throw in Eggar's unique and brutal direction with this classic story, which makes The Northman feel incredibly original. Eggar's outstanding direction takes center state in this film as he perfectly balances the trippy and brutal "magic" of the Vikings while also showing the brutal reality of these people. The writing in The Northman is incredibly elevated and poetic, which is a rarity in many historical epics today. However, it does sound muffled at points. Overall, Eggars was able to take a classic story and give it a unique style that makes it stand out from the rest.

The poetic writing came from fantastic acting. Alexander Skarsgard takes center stage as the ruthless berserker hellbent on revenge. His performance is powerful and captivating as he balances the hellbent berserker and a warm prince. Anya Taylor-Joy is another standout performance. Her performance is enchanting and beautiful as she plays a witch of the Earth. A performance that kinda surprised me was from Nicole Kidman. I only see Kidman as an Oscar-bait actress, but I know she takes on weird roles every once in a while, and she does a fantastic job as a Viking queen. Another performance that I really loved was from Bjork. Even though she is on screen for a short while, her performance is a standout in the film. The remaining performances from Claes Band, Willem Defoe, and Ethan Hawke were all outstanding.

Eggars and the entire creative team created what is easily one of the most immersive films that I've ever seen. The costume and production design are fantastic. The score is amazing to listen to. I really felt every one of those drum beats in the theater. The cinematography is breathtaking, even though it was a little dark and oversaturated at points. Furthermore, I must really applaud the filmmakers for their handling of the Viking rituals. They were enthralling to watch. The entire creative team really did their homework in this film. My only complaint is that I did not get a Blood Eagle.

Overall, The Northman is a historical epic that stands above the rest. Its unique, brutal, and trippy directions give its classic revenge story an intricate twist, that makes the film worthy of Valhalla.

I am giving The Northman, an A.

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oceanspray5 · 2 years

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So from your reblogs I'm guessing you watched "no way home"... so would you maybe care to share your thoughts? 👀 Because I... am an emotional mess here 😭

Yes! I saw No Way Home! Okay so... thoughts. Putting under a read more so no one gets spoiled.

First Off: IT WRECKED ME!

God I wasn't expecting that much angst and we got so much of it!!! Aunt May is gone! MJ and Ned forget! Peter is being a self-sacrificing ass! MY BOY IS ALL ALONE! PEPPER AND MORGAN AND HAPPY FORGOT HIM TOO!

Pls someone save my boi. My heart aches for him.

I liked the premise. But I have to say Peter is better than me. I would not be spending my time rehabbing murderous villains. Like if they kill someone they deserve to die imo but I guess thats why I'm not a superhero and he is.

ANDREW AND TOBEY! MY BOYS! THEY WERE BACK!

The villains were amazing. Alfred Molina and Willem Defoe's acting? Oscar worthy performances (maybe I'm exaggerating but they were 11/10).

AUNT MAY! I knew she wasn't okay but I HOPED she would live and then she said THE LINE and I knew she was gonna die! I like to think Uncle Ben exists in this universe and he used to say this line but Aunt May got to say it this time cuz her husband is long dead in this universe. It was a nice twist to the original IMO. I don't get people who are upset about it.

Honestly my favorite moment was when they came on screen. Everyone screamed when Andrew appeared but then they screamed even louder for Tobey. I'm glad I could experience that in the cinema. It was really fun. I also really like how eager they were. You could just tell Andrew was THRILLED to be playing Spidey again and Tobey was happy to come to a reunion. Its just so in-character for them.

SPIDERBROS! THEY'RE BROTHERS! THEY'RE FAMILY! Andrew screaming I love you to the other two! The brotherly banter! Tobey being responsible reliable big bro and refusing to let Andrew put himself down! And him helping Tom through the anger at Green Goblin! Also Andrew being so excited to have brothers and cracking Tobey's back! THEIR HUG! The way they were SO EXCITED that Tom was 'in a band' like they didn't even know what the Avengers were, they were just super happy and supportive cuz little them was excited! Them ready to FIGHT Strange cuz they thought he left Peter alone.

Andrew Spidey catching MJ was something I expected but we all screamed in the theater nonetheless. It was such a moment of closure and the way he cried when MJ asked him if he was okay. MY HEART!

The ending was so angsty. Peter made that choice and the Spideychelle ILY moment where she tells him to find her first. And then Peter DOESN'T! He's too self sacrificial and protective. Like I get it! But also PAIN.

Also, NED HAS MAGIC? HOW COOL IS THAT! CANT WAIT TIL THAT IS EXPLORED AND PETER HAS NO EXCUSE TO KEEP HIM AND MJ AT ARMS LEGNTH!

I'm so glad they confirmed Michelle as MJ Watson in this film too. I didn't even know there were rumors where people thought Disney wants to introduce the 'real' MJ Watson. Idk where they come from but if only to shut up the haters, its great to know we know who the eventual endgame for MCU Spidey is gonna be.

Now for my criticisms:

I wanted more Ned and Peter but I did like what we got.

The writing was... kinda oof. I kinda picked up on it while watching in the cinema and when I tell you there were A LOT of issues. However, I refuse to pick them apart cuz I enjoyed this movie so much. Everyone clearly had an amazing time making it and we enjoyed watching it so what more is needed?

THEY CUT A SCENE WITH MORGAN AND PETER IN IT AND I DEMAND TO SEE IT!

Not really looking forward to any love triangle drama they might introduce in trilogy 2 whether they are gonna introduce other love interests for Peter or even MJ but you know, that's too far out to think of rn. Isn't even a fact really, just speculation so why worry?

In general I lowkey dislike some of the soft reboot aspect? I really hope they have Peter reconnect with the Avengers, especially Happy and Pepper and Morgan. He was an unofficial part of the Iron family and I loved that. I am ready to fight people who think Peter's story is compromised in any way by that association because well... sometimes its okay to have a different story. He wasn't some billionaire's son like people like to hemm and haww about. Tony just helped protect him while he was learning how to be a hero and for a kid superhero is that such a bad thing? Idk I just really want him to rebuild those connections in the second trilogy as well as the connections with Ned and MJ. As a more mature adult who doesn't want to be a part of the Avengers but who wants the connection with his old mentor's daughter just for familial reasons cuz she was like a little sister to him. Peter Parker has a family with the Starks and I will FIGHT anyone who says otherwise. He deserves to reconnect with them.

Anyway all that aside, I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THE SECOND TRILOGY! I demand my PeterMJ endgame and PeterNed bromance again. I have been DEVOURING fics ever since I watched the film on Friday. Both Spideybro fics and all variety of Fix It fics. Amnesia as a trope is just so painful to go without them, yknow? But for now I really loved this movie. I can't wait til its out in HD so I can rewatch. For now I'm contenting myself with the low res gifs on tumblr and sharing in the collective chaos and anguish of that ending.

These are some of my rough thoughts! Thanks for asking and also I would love to hear yours!

#spiderman no way home #spiderman no way home spoilers #mcu #marvel #iffah answers #peter parker #petermj #spideychelle #ned leeds #michelle jones watson

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shadowsofmoonracer · 2 years

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Actual review for Spider-Man: NWH (Spoilers ahead)

Let myself just start by saying that I absolutely loved this movie. I’m not a big fan of Spider-Man, but this movie was really enjoyable and really fun to watch. It has the same vibes as Shang Chi, which was funny to watch but also dealt with some heavy themes. I think the director for NWH did a great job at balancing the humor with the angst without making it inappropriate (think Thor TDW)

I have to admit that I was abit concerned with post Endgame MCU movies because IW and Endgame felt badly directed with the forced injected humor vs the severity of the threat they were facing. (Possibly also because the cast was insanely huge, but this is just my opinion)

Anyway, I really enjoyed all the Easter eggs in the movie - daredevil’s appearance, miles’ Easter egg, allusions to the other Spider-Man series etc - and I dare say I enjoyed the interactions with the villains a lot (Yes, Doc Ock was amazing :D)

I think I especially loved the Green Goblin, just because I forgot how crazy that particular villain was, and Willem Defoe never ceases to amaze with his acting.

I didn’t particularly like the ending - felt a bit too plot armor for me, but then again most movies tend to be like that. I really loved the cinematography and the music though! They brought in Dr Strange’s brand of quirky cinematography and I loved it a lot.

One thing I have to say though… I’m a little curious how the reformed villains would affect their universe cause… the spideys are obviously from a later point in time of their universe’s timeline (Toby’s being much older, and Andrew’s having lived through Gwen’s death) but the villains are from an earlier point in time (Doc Ock clearly remembers Norman dying) so if they return to their universe…. How is that going to affect their timeline? Just some thoughts I was having after the movie ended.

Either way, I’m still not a huge Spider-man fan, but I’d rate this movie 8/10 just because it was really fun to watch and it balanced comedy and angst so well that it didn’t feel like one was spilling over into the scene of another. The references were really well placed and I enjoyed them a lot (the rest of my cinema didn’t :/) and I appreciated the villains’ reappearance :D

Next up: Multiverse of Madness! Really can’t wait for that, and I’m crossing my fingers and hoping Loki is in it… (and also hoping they stop doing my favorite character dirty)

#spider man: no way home #marvel #marvel mcu #mcu phase 4 #spoilers #movie review #shadowwatch

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irememberthedays · 2 years

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Spider-Man No Way Home FAMILIAR FACES

I didn't think this would be one of my favorite Marvel movies, but it is now. I'm weak for nostalgic shit, especially when producers and creators pay tribute to the past actors and characters that many of their viewers grew up watching and loving. I mean sure nostalgia is business but it's not like we're gonna stop being nostalgic for past things that made us happy; neither are we gonna stop watching shows and movies that cash in on this nostalgia especially if they're done well.

So, here's a collection of screenshots of familiar faces from past movies that made an appearance in this one. Basically an appreciation for the nostalgia fest this flick was.

Dr. Otto Octavius - Alfred Molina's very memorable character who died a hero in the first Spider-Man trilogy

Jamie Foxx's Electro was a little underused because he and Rhys Ifans' The Lizard were the only villains from The Amazing Spider-Man duology, and him backing down from the final fight was too quick, but he did deliver this little Easter Egg for fans.

Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church) whose redemption story wasn't as explored as other characters' in Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy but is nonetheless a memorable character whose actions set off Peter Parker's path to crime-fighting....

This Spider-Man movie wouldn't have been complete without the OG Willem Defoe as Norman Osborne aka the Green Goblin.

Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker proves that he is the goofiest and dorkiest Peter in a fun and self-aware way.

Tobey Maguire remains the most iconic Spider-Man for many modern viewers because of the way he portrayed Peter Parker: down-to-earth, relatable, and selfless. In this movie, we see him as a mature hero who has already gone through so much and has managed to retain his sense of right and wrong.

(...and I did not include a screenshot of The Lizard because I forgot to take a screenshot of him and also because his part in the movie was very underwhelming, sorry.)

#spider-man no way home #spider-man

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diasy · 2 years

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top 5 willem defoe roles :)

elias from platoon my special little garlic girl ❤️, bobby from the florida project, thomas from the lighthouse, GILL from finding nemo, and listen ive never actually seen it but ryuk from death note white live action is actually my favorite casting ever

#thank u beeeeee ilyyy #ask #final-girls

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popentertainment-moviereviews · 2 years

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SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME (2021)

Starring Tom Holland, Zendaya, Benedict Cumberbatch, Jacob Batalon, Jon Favreau, Jamie Foxx, Willem Dafoe, Alfred Molina, Benedict Wong, Tony Revolori, Marisa Tomei, Andrew Garfield, Tobey Maguire, Thomas Haden Church, Rhys Ifans, Charlie Cox, Angourie Rice, Arian Moayed, Paula Newsome, Hannibal Buress, Martin Starr, JB Smoove and JK Simmons.

Screenplay by Chris McKenna & Erik Sommers.

Directed by Jon Watts.

Distributed by Columbia Pictures. 148 minutes. Rated PG-13.

We’ve all been waiting, and yes, it was worth the wait. Spider-Man: No Way Home has been the subject of a massive amount of chatter online, as little nuggets of information were slipped out to the fans.

Is that really Alfred Molina revisiting his Spider-Man 2 role of Doc Octopus? Is Willem Defoe really coming back as The Green Goblin from the original 2003 Spider-Man movie? And Jamie Foxx is coming back too as Electro from The Amazing Spider-Man 2? Plus, are they giving the character the traditional Electro outfit, not making him look like Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen like in the earlier film?

I feel safe mentioning that eventually five former Spidey supervillains show up from the earlier Sam Raimi and Marc Webb Spider-Man series, since that has been shown in the trailers and other stories. (The other two are Thomas Haden Church’s Sandman from Spider-Man 3 and Rhys Ifans’ Lizard, also from The Amazing Spider-Man 2.) Well, technically a sixth one kind of shows up, but no more about that.

Still, the best way to go into Spider-Man: No Way Home is knowing as little as possible. In fact, before the preview screening I saw, there was a short clip where the stars begged us not to give up any spoilers.

It is nearly impossible to explain how much fun the latest Spider-Man film No Way Home is without giving up spoilers. And while I will do my best to keep a lid on the surprises, any article which discusses this film without mentioning any of those things will be very short indeed. So fair warning, if you want to wait until after you see Spider-Man: No Way Home before reading the story, I will not be offended. The article will be here after you are ready.

The new Spider-Man film centers on the concept of the multiverse, a concept which has become exceedingly popular in comic-book films and TV series – both Marvel and DC have used it extensively, and even Spidey has previously used it in the stand-alone animated film Spider-Man: Into the Multiverse.

As explained in LiveScience.com: “Multiverse theory suggests that our universe, with all its hundreds of billions of galaxies and almost countless stars, spanning tens of billions of light-years, may not be the only one. Instead, there may be an entirely different universe, distantly separated from ours — and another, and another.” Therefore, there are multiple variations of people in different universes, all living different lives and lifestyles and effected by different world events.

I’ve never been a huge fan of the whole multiverse thing – it seems too convenient and makes anything, no matter how unlikely, possible. However, Spider-Man: No Way Home uses the theory elegantly, tying together the three recent Spider-Man film series into an eye-popping, emotionally draining whole.

It does this in one more basic way. [SPOILER ALERT!] I feel I can say this because it has been floating around for a while, but if you want to be completely surprised, skip this paragraph. In the new film, current Spidey Tom Holland meets up with the two previous film Peter Parkers: Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire. All of them have different styles, different personalities and different takes on the character (just like the films that spawned them), and together they fight off the series of bad guys let loose from the multiverse.

[Okay, spoiler people can come back now.]

Okay, that’s all the secrets I’ll be letting out. However, what I can say without ruining anything is that Spider-Man: No Way Home is the perfect modern blockbuster and the best MCU film in quite some time, maybe even since the first Avengers movie – and I’m saying that as a fan of many of the films that have come in between.

As always, it is also self-referential. One nice, slightly unimportant Easter Egg for fans is the first crossover between the MCU and the Netflix Marvel series happens here, with a brief cameo by Daredevil star Charlie Cox as his alter-ego, Matt Murdoch, who is hired as a lawyer to defend Peter Parker.

Spider-Man: No Way Home is fun, exciting, and often surprisingly moving. Let’s face it, it’s a triumph all around. This is how these films should be done.

Jay S. Jacobs

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#Spider-Man: No Way Home #2021 #Movie Review #Tom Holland #Jay S. Jacobs

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staczak91 · 3 years

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My Favorite Spider-Man Movies In Order (From Least to Best)

With Spider-Man: No Way Home just around the corner, I’ve been thinking about revisiting the other movies. I watched Far From Home again today and realized I wanted to write about it and the other movies. So, here we are now.

Also, I ordered this today for my apartment because I desperately need a couch blanket (and it matches my couch!) and it was just a really cool design.

But, anyways...here we go! For the next few months, this will probably be a Spider-Man blog with some stuff sprinkled in between in honor of the new movie being released.

And without further ado, here’s the list of my personal favorite movies. (I’m leaving out The Amazing Spider-Man movies because I only saw one and I did not like it, and leaving out Spider-Man 3 as well, because I really don’t like that movie at all. Sorry, Raimi fans.)

5. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

I found this to be a really fun, well-made film and I really loved it and the humor involved. Just...it might have been a little too irreverent for me, so I have a hard time watching it multiple times. Still, the characters were a lot of fun and it had a clear message that I really loved: about owning who you are and your own power. All the Raimi nods were really nice too. All in all, I’m glad I saw it ,even if I can’t watch it multiple times like the live action versions.

4. Spider-Man (2002)

Ok the special effects aren’t the best and some parts have really aged badly. But it is still a fun film that has a lot of heart. I love Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker, especially when he is learning to become the wallcrawler and learning his great power and responsibility. (Sorry, had to do that.) Willem Defoe is a magnetic villain without the Goblin mask, and especially shines during the ending fight when he’s brutally kicking Spidey’s ass. And I even like Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson, who they tried to flesh out, even if she didn’t have much to do. My only complaint is the beginning is kind of slow and goes through the paces, and it doesn’t really pick up until much later in the film. It’s hard watching this origin story again and again when we all know it by heart by now. But Maguire and Defoe make the movie the great origin story it is. It’s still a great movie that packs a punch, and I’m glad I got to see it in theaters. And, of course, I own it, and watch it at least once a year.

3. Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

For me, at least, not as good as Far From Home, even if the humor is spot on in this film. Ok, I love Tom Holland as Peter Parker, Iron Boy Jr, Spider-Boy, whatever you want to call him in the MCU. His energy is infectious and he’s fun to watch, and he makes Peter Parker seem like an actual, awkward teenager in this movie. I know the complaints and I agree with some of them. But, at the same time, I just don’t really care too. Because this film is so much fun. Michael Keaton is a blast to watch as the Vulture, and his talk to Peter near the end of the film is one of the highlights. Robert Downey Jr, even with so little screen time, still plays the part well too, even if he’s skimped in the movie. This isn’t the responsible, sad Peter Parker in the Raimi films, and at first I was mad about that and it took me awhile for it to grow on me, but in time I found that I was ok with this different interpretation. This is a Peter Parker who has a big learning curve and is growing and learning a lot throughout this franchise, even more so than the other incarnations. A little frustrating, yes, but it’s also part of the fun and pure escapism of the MCU Spider-Man. (Also, the pacing of this film is really great and spot on, and there never seems to be too much of a lull during it. Just wanted to point that out too.)

2. Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

Even though I ultimately like this movie better than Homecoming, I still feel like it makes some mistakes. The beginning is a lot of fun and gets us started on the adventure right away, and the finale is a blast and is one of my favorite Spider-Man finales and final villain fights. But the middle is such a lull and it takes some work to get to the fantastic finale with Mysterio. I also don’t really like the “take off your clothes” scene and the drones almost killing Brad scene. It feels really hollow and feels like it doesn’t belong in a Spider-Man movie. Really, this movie is better than Homecoming just for the finale alone. The fight against Mysterio is just so cool! As he uses illusions and tech to defeat Spider-Man, and it takes awhile for Peter to be able to defeat him. And when he does, it’s super satisfying. Also, MJ (Zendaya) has a bigger role in this film and I’m really thankful for that. She is a great love interest, and her awkwardness around Peter is really endearing. It’s also very cool to see Spider-Man/Peter Parker out of his natural habitat of New York City, and see him fight in another country far from home. (See what I did there?) All in all, even with the one sequence I don’t like and the lull in the middle, this is still a great, fun film and it is my second favorite Spider-Man movie so far. Also, the humor is mostly spot on (with a few misses here and there) and I like that tone for this movie.

And now number one!

Did you even think it would be anything else?? For the followers who know me.

1. Spider-Man 2 (2004)

There isn’t much to say about this movie that hasn’t already been said. It’s heartfelt and has beautiful cinematography (the swinging scenes are amazing!) and just has a lot of soul for a big blockbuster film. The message at the heart of the movie is also really refreshing and still stays with me all these years later. I’ve seen this movie a million times, but I still watch it at least once a year. Every actor is at the top of their game, and the special effects have held up really well for the most part. It isn’t a perfect movie. It has its problems. There’s a lull in the action too for this film, just like in Far From Home, but it’s forgiven for me, because of that explosive finale and especially the train fight sequence. Also, some of the humor falls flat, but again it’s forgiven, because the humor isn’t the focus of this movie. It’s a drama first and foremost. I really adore this movie and it, even more than the original 2002 origin film, caused my love of the webcrawler to come to life. I still remember getting the special edition DVD from my older sister for my birthday, and feeling like I was holding magic in my hands. I proceeded to watch it another million times and still have that DVD and still watch it to this day, when I’m on my own now and am not a preteen anymore. It’s one of my favorite films ever.

Well, there you have it! I can’t wait to see where No Way Home fits on my list. And I’m hoping it’s just as good (if not better) than the rest of these movies.

I have been a fan of this superhero since 2002 and he’s stuck with me all these years because of the films. I’ve written other posts about him and will continue to do so in the future. And I’m so happy I’ll be seeing him on the big screen again by the end of the year!

So, what do you think of this list? What’s your personal preferences and list? (Remember, this is all just opinion and I’m not saying anything is fact. It’s all subjective and your own interpretation of the character.) I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!

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