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arachine · 1 year

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— what's going on down there?: a dick analysis

ᥫ᭡ featuring :: jake sully, miles quaritch & norm spellman

ᥫ᭡ includes :: their human forms + avatar forms

ᥫ᭡ genre :: mature

ᥫ᭡ content warnings :: talking about dicks obviously, explicit sexual content (?), humor lol

ᥫ᭡ note :: if you know anything about arachine, you know i love a good dick analysis. these posts are intended for comedic purposes only, which means they’re not to be taken seriously.

— jake “ima slut you out” sully

. . . human form .*+!

⟳ length: as we all know, jake’s life on earth was very unfulfilling. he was a man who sacrificed his legs for the fate of the country, only to be disposed of into the unforgiving hands of society, with no way to reap the benefits (or lack thereof) that veterans were promised to receive. and after losing the privilege of mobility, his body changed drastically. he got smaller, his body got weaker, and yet, one thing remained—that dick! jake is a survivor, through and through—his personal motto is: if it ain’t broken, then it’s still working—and boy, he does not disappoint when it comes to the downstairs department. standing tall at 7 inches, is little jake (maybe not so little). when flaccid, his length measures at a solid 5.7 inches. definitely a grower.

⟳ width: a little bit on the skinnier side, but he knows how to use it and that’s all that matters!

⟳ color: i think for the most part, his shaft definitely matches the rest of his body; though, i can see it maybe being slightly a little more darker at the base, like a very light beige. when he’s flaccid, his tip is a pretty pink, almost like a ballet slipper (aka the best pink). turns into an angry red when fully erect!

⟳ extra:

01. groomed?: jake pegs me as the kinda guy who doesn’t really care? i mean, trimming isn’t foreign to him, because he has trimmed it before, and does so when he notices it’s gotten to be too long…but, i don’t think it’s something that he does often. to him, it’s just hair. he’s on his grown man shit, you know?

02. curved?: uhm, yes! you know that one beyoncé lyric? yeah.

03. any veins?: absolutely covered in ‘em

04. how he fucks with it: i’d like to think before his accident, he was a doggy style connoisseur—come on, it’s jake we’re talking about here. can’t nobody tell me otherwise! i just know he had bitches bent over, weaves sweated out, makeup all over the pillows…mans was f-u-c-k-i-n-g okay? fuckingggg.

. . . avatar form .*+!

⟳ length: the masses may attack me, but it’s time i spoke up. the man has a monster schlong. a cooter cat killer, if you will. if you thought his human form was big, shit, you ain’t seen nothing yet! completely flaccid, his cock measures to about 10 inches. when fully hard, he grows an additional three! talk about impressive…

⟳ width: so thick that it basically slaps his thighs when he walks. the man could create a beat with it, get em into the soundcloud business now!

⟳ color: self explanatory tbh, it’s fucking blue. as blue as papa smurf’s ass.

⟳ extra:

01. groomed?: i’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that because he’s an avatar, he grows hair there. even if i’m wrong, i’m right. i don’t give a damn what james cameron says. he’s basically my character at this point, and i will him to have hair damnit! just…the idea of him having a full bush down there, in the wild, all primitive and shit…does something to me. idk. don’t ask me why i’m so nasty, blame my deadbeat father.

02. curved?: is a banana yellow? there’s your answer.

03. any veins?: i might have a brain aneurysm just thinking about it, but yes! god, yes. so many…so, so, so many. ribbed for her pleasure or whatever trojan said.

04. how he fucks with it: is he still the doggy style connoisseur? yes. but now that’s got the strength of 20 men, backshots sound a whole lot like gunshots now. they say every time the mighty toruk makto thrusts into a cunt, a tree falls down or something. so, yes. fucks hard, fucks rough, fucks like he’s on a mission. what’s that one tik tok audio? “rest in peace to all the soldiers that died in the service, i dive in her cervix.” yeah, he lives by that.

— miles “on your knees, cadet!” quaritch

. . . human form .*+!

⟳ length: just gonna cut right to the chase. he’s huge. like pussy splitting huge. i don’t care what anyone says, you can argue with ya friend, you can argue with ya mother, but you cannot argue with me! coming in at a solid 6 when flaccid, quaritch takes the cake for the biggest cock on this list (at least, human form wise). at full length, he measures to about 7.8 inches!

‘booooo’ you say, well, guess what? it’s the truth, and i’m just the messenger. whether you hate him or love him, he’s just that guy.

⟳ width: surprisingly average. but it’s okay, sometimes you can’t have the best of both worlds.

⟳ color: if my memory serves me right, he was pretty tan in the first movie. so, i’m gonna stick with that and say that it’s a pretty tan that transitions into a pale pink. i don’t know if some of you have seen old dick, but their tips get less saturated with age. it’s a phenomenon (not really, the blood flow to the groin is just a lot slower, which can make it appear kind of gre—anyway, i digress!)

⟳ extra:

01. groomed?: this man is a colonel, so he’s all about discipline and keeping things nice and tidy. so, obviously, his hygiene reflects that. i don’t think he goes completely bald, but he does give it a good trim. kind of like a fade…just imagine a patch of grey, prickly hair. yeah.

02. curved?: yes, and since he’s older, it’s probably curved a lot. you could probably hang something on it. maybe a towel, or a lanyard. it’s definitely useful for something!

03. any veins?: god, i don’t know why, but i have it in my head that he’s on steroids. he’s just so buff and strong, and i mean, yeah, he could just be really fit…but he could also be a self-image obsessed freak who takes drugs to be the perfect soldier. the correlation, you ask? well, i just feel like people who take steroids are really veiny, and i feel like his dick would be really, really veiny. so, thus the rant about steroids. steroid dick.

04. how he fucks with it: don’t let his age fool you. he may very well be pushing his late fifties, but he’s still a young man at heart—and he’s definitely got the sex drive to prove it! i can see his favorite position being something like missionary. not so much because he enjoys the intimacy of it (like being face to face), but more so because he’s got a size kink—and definitely a dacryphilia kink. he enjoys seeing his partners cry, whether in pain, or in pleasure, or both! so, when you’re fucking him, don’t expect anything romantic. he just wants to see your pretty little face all teary eyed and pathetic.

. . . avatar form .*+!

⟳ length: so big you can see it from space; that’s how the RDA mfs know they’re close, because they can see the tip protruding from pandora. no, but seriously, it’s still really huge. like maybe 12-14 inches—maximum.

⟳ width: probably twice as thick as a human’s forearm. and god, it’s sooooo heavy. big breeding balls to match.

⟳ color: blue blue blue…like wet fun dip. with just as many stripes as the american flag or whatever.

⟳ extra:

01. groomed?: yes, but the hair is black instead of grey and it’s probably really straight because na’vi hair is straight as fuck.

02. curved?: sir, yes sir.

03. any veins?: what’d i say? steroid dick. but even worse (better) now bc he’s so damn tall, he needs all the blood he can get down there.

04. how he fucks with it: has you in all types of positions. his favorites are anything that shows off his new found strength, so i’m betting on full nelsons and mating presses. just fast, powerful strokes. lives by the motto: can’t stop, won’t stop.

— norm “what’s the sq root of 69?” spellman

. . . human form .*+!

⟳ length: i’m sorry to disappoint the norm fuckers (if there are any), but he’s not that big. when he’s soft, his cock measures to about 4.8 inches, and at most, 6.2 inches when hard.

⟳ width: skinny dick.

⟳ color: dawg he’s so white, it’s like hella pale and the tip is so pink that when he’s aroused, it looks like there’s something wrong.

⟳ extra:

01. groomed?: like jake, i don’t think he really cares.

02. curved?: straight like a pencil

03. any veins?: like two, and they’re really prominent because he’s so fucking pale.

04. how he fucks with it: i don’t think human norm is getting puss, let’s be real.

. . . avatar form .*+!

⟳ length: i am a firm believer in N.W.B.C—nerds with big cocks. it’s just the universe’s way of saying thank you, they just…they just do so much for us, you know? norm may not have been packing down there in his human form, but this was his second chance at redemption. he’s now a proud member of N.W.B.C, sporting an impressive 15 inches. you know that one scene in the first spider-man when pete’s looking at himself in the mirror and he looks inside his briefs? yeah, that was norm when he found out. the man got so excited, he accidentally catapulted a scientist out of pandora’s atmosphere with the weight of his cock. joking.

⟳ width: on the skinnier side but still toe curling, nonetheless.

⟳ color: laffy taffy blue, with little (big) blueberry balls.

⟳ extra:

01. groomed?: no, he’s too busy in the lab and getting na’vi puss.

02. curved?: unfortunately no

03. any veins?: more than before, which he was pleasantly surprised to see.

04. how he fucks with it: norm’s got a big dick, but he acts so shy, like he’s scared of it or something. like stop playing boy and drop them drawls, the fuck? anyway, i think norm’s a sub. he pegs me as the type of guy who likes strong women, women who’ll tell him to shut the fuck up (because he talks so much) and eat their pussies. i guess this makes him a munch. yeah, he’s a munch. ice spice actually wrote that song with him in mind!

#jake sully x reader #jake sully x reader smut #jake sully smut #miles quaritch x reader #miles quaritch x reader smut #miles quaritch smut #avatar x reader #avatar x reader smut #avatar the way of water #avatar the way of water smut #atwow x reader #atwow smut

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kitkat-the-muffin · 1 month

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Tis a niche of its own

Sorry there is only two female characters, I kinda pulled these off the top of my head and probably missed a ton of other candidates. Reblog with an addition if you have one!

Edit: I forgot to make this poll a week long! Once this poll ends I'll remake it with new additions depending on the results (the characters with the fewest results will be replaced with suggested characters from the notes so be sure to suggest some!) in the meantime tho plz reblog to increase sample size

This follows my own definition of what "Comic Relief" means: A character that is used as a conduit for comedy in a piece of media

Through character studies I have determined that there are 5 types of comic relief: the Character Relief, the Audience Relief, the Tone Shifter, the Butt of the Joke, and the Slapstick. Characters that identify as "Comic Relief" usually fall into one or more of these categories

Further explanation under the cut

The Character Relief refers to a character who actively makes jokes to be funny in-universe through conscious humor. Examples from this poll would be Sans and Rayla, who go out of their way to make their friends laugh

The Audience Relief refers to a character who makes the audience laugh regardless of their impact on the story. Examples from this poll would be Lapis and Gus, who are often involved in comedic bits meant for audience entertainment that aren't acknowledged by the narrative as anything unprecedented

The Tone Shifter refers to a character who makes jokes to relieve tension and shift the tone of a scene, either consciously or unconsciously. Examples from this poll would be Jay and Leo, as they both consciously make jokes about grim situations to help their friends or family feel better. Additionally, Jay would do this unconsciously before his trauma made him start doing it on purpose

The Butt of the Joke refers to a character who is made fun of by other characters in-universe, whether endearingly or not. Examples from this poll would be Dewey and Lance, who are often met with insults whenever they do something wrong or silly. The insults are usually meant to be endearing and comedic, but they can still feed into the character's possible inferiority complex. This also applies whenever a villain hits them with a sick burn*

The Slapstick refers to a character who is made fun of by the narrative and the audience like a punching bag. Examples from this poll would be Sokka and Yusuke, who are sometimes put in troubling and awkward situations as a gag for the audience's entertainment alone. These gags are not fun for the characters yet delightful to watch

Most comic relief characters can be characterized as multiples of these. For example, Jar-Jar from Star Wars is both Slapstick and Audience Relief, and even if you don't find his jokes funny that doesn't change the fact that they were written with your entertainment in mind

If you're curious how a "The Narrative's Favorite (derogatory)" character would fit into this chart, they're likely both a Butt of the Joke and a Slapstick character, making their life absolute hell. To be honest, MK from Monkie Kid is an example of a character who fits all 5 categories, but he isn't blue so he isn't in this poll

*Ok if you've ever seen Phineas and Ferb Mission Marvel let me just say MODOK is a total Butt of the Joke and my favorite line in that special is when a TV announcer calls him a "Giant Chicken Egg with a Face" and I just had to mention that omg

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essycogany · 7 months

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Rare But Not So Rare Sonic Moments. Character Analysis.

Crying

A weird topic I’m more then happy to discuss.

Mandate: “Sonic’s not allowed to get overly emotional.”

I’m starting to think the mandates do break in a few instances. This one specifically is something I’m quite interested in because this is probably one of the rarest emotions Sonic displays. Getting sad/emotional.

Hopefully this essay will be a positive outlook on the mandate.

(Despite being a discussion about negative emotions.)

Examples Of Sonic Getting Emotional

I might not include everything, but the examples I have knowledge of will be stated. If you have anymore examples, I’d love to see them.

SATAM: Sonic cried when he and the Freedomfighters had to leave his Uncle Chuck in Robotnik’s lab.

Archie: The times Sonic cried/teared up was when the weight of a situation got to him, when something tragic occurred and all hope was lost, or when he was filled with joy after those instances ended. Those moments like others, didn’t go too far. (For the most part)

Pretty sure he never out right sobbed.

Underground: I think Sonic only cried when he was a little kid.

Correct me if I’m wrong.

X: In episode 52 Sonic allowed his tears to shed with his head turned away from us. He and Chris ran one last time before Sonic left through a portal to go home forever. It obviously crushed him even if we didn’t see his face.

Boom: Sonic cried/teared up in two episodes of the show. First when Tails was reminiscing about the Tornado and noticed Sonic wiping his eyes. Sonic replied, “What?” Then he, Knuckles, and Tails all cried when they thought the baby they took care of was gone. Also, in Archie when Stick’s rock friend broke or “Died,” everyone in team Boom morned it. Sonic included.

IDW: Sonic shed tears in the Scrapnick Island Issue. Even if it was “Mecha Sonic’s” tears I’ll count it anyways because it’s a good loophole and it came out of Sonic’s eyes.

Movie 1: It’s implied he indeed cried during the baseball scene. The sources being a deleted scene and story-board of the film.

Prime: This doesn’t really count, but Sonic teared up in the first episode when he was held captive by the Chaos Council and had light blasted in his eyes, when he was in darkness. Then Sonic actually cried in episode 7 when he ate a seadog. Either because he was home-sick or starving.

(In the last episode of season two it’s implied he might cry in the next episode. Especially with the shot of him looking on the verge of tears and then covered his eyes in the background of the last shot, but we’ll see.)

By the way. You can see the instant improvement from episode 1 to 7 of the tears animation. Just thought I’d say that.

My Overall Thoughts

Hold on because this is going to be a long ride.

First thing I’d like to discuss is the mandate itself.

I personally don’t believe it means, “Sonic shouldn’t cry.”

(Which has been stated a bunch)

If that were the case, I don’t think this majority of moments (specifically the recent ones) would’ve happened. I think the mandate meant Sonic couldn’t and or shouldn’t go too far with his emotions. I don’t think the mandate existing makes any since, but I won’t get into that.

My point is, Sonic can cry, just not in an overly dramatized way unless it’s done for comedic purposes.

(I say that because of Sonic Boom and the 7th episode of Prime examples. Which are obviously not meant to be taken seriously)

My opinions on Sonic crying.

It’s not necessarily needed, but I don’t mind if it’s done well. I do believe Sonic shouldn’t go too far unless the situation does.

One Issue in Archie when Sonic’s entire life was basically ruined, is a good example. If you’re going to have such calamities happen to him, especially since he has zero ego or mask to hold onto, I think it’s a fair enough scenario for him to react as drastic as his misfortune.

But I believe if he were to cry in something like the Metal Virus. (Just for an example) it could be like how Espio teared up after Vector’s sacrifice.

Crazy idea. Let’s talk about Shadow for a minute.

Shadow is one of the most stoic characters in the entire franchise. He barely smiles, gets excited, or displays any overly positive emotions. While Sonic rarely cries, gets angry, or shows any harsh negative emotions. Shadow and Sonic are opposites because of that.

Sonic’s overall a positive and outgoing guy who wants to keep moving forward. Whenever he has the time to worry, he runs. Faces his problems head on. Sonic only let’s a small amount of his true emotions out when helping someone else. In general Sonic’s a pretty optimistic character.

Shadow on the other hand is a reserved and serious guy. Who wants what’s best for the world too, but in a more calculated and planned out manner. But for some reason, in Sonic Adventure 2 after Amy encouraged Shadow to save the world, (Which reminded him of Maria’s real wish) He sheds a tear.

I repeat. Shadow is the most stoic character in the entire franchise. Who rarely shows his emotions. And yet he cries.

Why can’t Sonic? To be fair, Sonic usually doesn’t have time to think, let alone worry about how he feels. But if Shadow himself can have a short moment of releasing his emotional baggage, why can’t the blue blur?

Is Sonic even as happy as he let’s on?

I’d say he’s genuinely happy half of the time. Then the other half Sonic’s internalizing everything negative in him. Everyone knows Sonic’s overall upbeat, but we’ve seen plenty of times (In the Metal Virus specifically) when he’s thinking, or enduring the chaos around him, he doubts himself. Sonic has these insecurities and emotions he barely let’s anyone see.

Besides Issue #24

Even in Sonic Prime while Sonic shows the most guilt, sincerity, anger, fear, and sadness in the show. He sometimes still puts on a front and acts like everything’s fine.

Sonic Unleashed I’m pretty sure was the first and only time we’ve seen him mope for a minute. All because Amy didn’t know who he was. So, he does have some level of insecurities lingering every once in a while.

Can Sonic crying even work?

How I interpret him crying is when he’s alone. Some people theorize in certain instances like SA2 and Unleashed with Shadow and Chip’s sacrifices, he cried a little. I’m fascinated by this idea. I believe it’s the most in character way to let him cry. Maybe even something like X when his face isn’t shown, but you know how he’s feeling.

Even if we do see Sonic’s face, him crying or tearing up could be shown without being over the top. Normalize it in a way that doesn’t fly off the handle. His expression could have a hint of frustration, anger, or exhaustion. Crying is normal and I don’t see Sonic crying as out of character because it’s been done plenty of times.

It’d be nice if it happened in order to make Sonic feel more believable and sympathetic. As long as the dude’s not on the floor whaling, I’m sure it can work.

Final Thoughts

There are other ways to show Sonic’s emotions. Again, crying doesn’t have to happen, but it does help the writing feel less unnecessarily limited of what kind of emotions can be displayed on this character.

Though there are benefits too. Like finding fun loopholes or small animated details like in IDW and Prime. Sonic not crying so much makes the times he does (or may do in the future) feel earned and impactful. The examples before prove it can be done without taking away what makes Sonic who he is. It just needs to be subtle, quiet, and quick. (Or humorous) Depends on what you think.

At the end of it all, Sonic’s a tough hedgehog. Him shedding a few tears won’t ever change that.

Stay Creative! 💜

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vanity-bonbons · 2 months

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YANDERE VOX X MOTH! READER [Taster to see if it's worth it]

Chapter 0: The beginning

Note: You're comedic if you think I'm going through this to make sure everything is spelt right lol

How did you end up in this state? Here, you are locked in the most luxurious penthouse you have ever seen in both your life and after life. The glass windows locked shut with the walls lined with huge tvs that look to cost grands.

You were just an ordinary sinner like no other. You lived an ok life for the most part, despite being ended so short. The only thing you really did "wrong" is not believe in a higher being. God.

You were a silk moth demon with big fluffy antennas, thin fragile wings, and a huge fluff or fur around your neck. You remember a huge fall, hitting the ground and a chuckle. Vox. That was his name. You landed in front of another sinner with the peculiar shaped head of a TV.

He was quick to introduce himself as Vox, the tech overlord and owner, to the largest tech company in all of the pride rings.

"I see you're new.." he chuckled, "as it seems you can't use your wings...also the fall. "

It took you a while to come to terms with the whole hell thing a long with the fact you're talking to a sentient TV.

"What is your name? Do you have anywhere to go?" He asked, not really giving you any chance to respond before moving questions.

All this was very overwhelming to you. Your wings begin to flutter nervous before tears start to brim your eyes.

"Hey..hey..calm down," he says in his classic businessman persona voice, "come on darlin'." He slowly leads a weeping you into the V tower he was standing in front of.

It had been an hour since you had met him, and you were already in his tower, hugging him as he comforted you softly. You can't help him he just smells so nice.. and he looks so nice..his eyes... look so...entrancing...

He softly rubs your head as you sniffle into his chest. Then he pulls out his classic line.

"You could always work for my company," He says with a huge toothy smile, " I mean...I would pay you handsomely, and you need a place to stay...."

A contract appears in front of you. He tells you not to worry, and this is just for legal purposes to make sure you're as happy as possible. And stupidly, you agree without reading through the contract. Being new to hell, you didn't even know you had a soul anymore or that people use them to deal. You sign the contract with a small smile. This man seems so nice. You were confused whether this was really hell.

You belong to him now and you still had no idea. Vox told you to follow him into your very own room. But it wasn't your room. It was his.

"Get a good night's rest darlin' you have a long day tomorrow, and don't worry... you'll fit right in here at VoxTech!"

You sit down on the bed and doze off for half an hour before waking up, needing the bathroom desperately. Not seeing the walk-in bathroom, you run to the door trying to open it to find a toilet. But the door was locked. You rattled the door more and more, but no... it wasn't just stuck... it was locked. You were stuck.

A huge zapping noise can be heard before a cough as you quickly turn around to Vox, who grabbed your wrist harshly. He pulled you into his chest and stroked one of your antennas, curling it around with his finger before whispering. "Yeah.. I think you're gonna fit right in..." he sniffs your hair as he continues to play with your antenna.

All you could do was stand there. What was happening. What did you do?

#vox #hazbin hotel #vox x reader #yandere vox #moth reader #x reader #velvette #valentino #hazbin hotel valentino x reader #hazbin hotel vox #the vees #yandere valentino #alastor #lucifer #vaggie #hazbin lute #hazbin adam

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probably-impossible · 1 year

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pls pls pls pls give us headcanons about the scara x katheryne crack ship or i will literally die bc i am a sucker for robot love too and i need this in my life :D

Okay so... I may have actually gotten way too invested in this and started writing a fic about it. 😅 But just in case that never comes to fruition, here's my more in-depth, canon-compliant(ish) thoughts:

The Katheryne in Sumeru was possessed by Nahida enough times that some of Irminsul's influence rubbed off on her and made her sentient. This only began to manifest after she was skewered by the Eremites, repaired, and then sent back to her normal Guild duties.

Scara visits the Adventurers' Guild for one reason or another and makes one of his usual snarky remarks, then is surprised when Katheryne briefly breaks character to snark back at him. Intrigued and slightly annoyed by the fact that a supposedly non-sentient "inferior" puppet has roasted him, he resolves to keep observing Katheryne and find out what's going on.

Meanwhile, Katheryne is new to this whole sentience thing and isn't quite sure what to do about it. She tries extra hard to go about her job as usual but finds that some weirdo in a big hat is always hanging around & disturbing her for some reason. She resolves to find out what his deal is and why he gives her pesky feelings in her chest sometimes.

Cue shenanigans, bonding over puppet troubles, themes of figuring out together how to make their own purpose in this world, etc. etc.

My headcanon for Katheryne's personality is that she has spent her entire existence working in customer service and has Seen Some Shit. As a result, she is usually unflappable, but can be taken aback by new or strong feelings. She's also very attached to / protective of the Adventurers' Guild and its members.

By contrast, Scara has the emotional fortitude of a wet paper bag, but he is technically more experienced with having feelings (and he has Nahida as his personal therapist). So he's able to help Katheryne adjust to being her own person & get her to explore the world a little more.

Also Scara's tsundere shit totally fails to land with Katheryne. He'll be like "Tch. As if I could ever do anything as embarrassing as spend time with you," and she'll just say "Okay, goodbye. :)"

I feel like Nahida would know exactly what's going on and would be bemused by it at first, then start actively trying to get them together. At some point she would definitely tell the Traveler to sub in for Katheryne at the Adventurers' Guild one day so Katheryne and Scara can hang out. (Of course the Traveler would be comedically overwhelmed and this arrangement would never happen again.)

If Katheryne gets a Vision in this version of events it would probably be Dendro. Her voice lines in combat would be variations on her standard canon dialogue, ex. "Compliments of the Adventurers' Guild!" or "Here is your reward!" while beating the living daylights out of some Hilichurl.

That's my take on it, anyway! There may or may not eventually be more from me on this because people seem to like it way more than I expected, ha ha 😂

#genshin impact #scaratheryne?#i saw someone suggest wanderyne which i think is fantastic #anyway thanks for indulging me lmaoooo #headcanon #scaramouche #wanderer #katheryne #my asks

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simurghed · 28 days

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undersiders teen titans style cartoon episodes that exist in my head

- mattress store money laundering scheme but aisha thinks that this is boring and they should choose something more interesting as their money laundering scheme so she starts a hazardous fast food chain or something other that then falls into a rivalry with brian’s mattress store

- freaky friday but the only characters to switch are taylor and alec

- brian accidentally gets sent to a retirement home in switzerland

- house sitting for an absurdly rich supervillain and getting lost in a hedge maze

- family vacation

- token travellers / palanquin / wards pov episode

- average day in the life portrayed in a reality tv confessional style

- bonus that would not happen and is not true but is beautiful so am adding because it amuses me: cassie and rachel become gay for real and rachel off-handedly mentions a girlfriend and the rest of the undersiders go WHAT?????????????????? and spend the rest of the episode participating in contrived james bond type schemes trying to find out who the girlfriend is. lisa’s power is unable to figure it out for comedic purposes

#undersiders

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rewritingcanon · 6 months

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i’ve seen relationship therapists and psychologists analyse hermione and ron’s relationship and conclude that they wouldn’t work out in the long run. they’ve argued for hermione to be with harry, krum, even DRACO (don’t understand how a counsellor can vow for canon dramione but alright) as an alternative partner for hermione since ron is “too insecure” to be with her and match her intelligent prowess or what have you.

i seriously don’t understand this sentiment. ron and hermione genuinely seem (almost) perfect to me, maybe not in the movies (a common denominator of people who don’t like romione is that they always cite evidence from the movies, since the films took a lot away from ron’s character and his growth), but definitely in the books.

looking at ron’s insecurities, a lot of people dredge his inferiority complex up to toxic masculinity primarily, when it was more explored how it was an effect of his home life (not gonna argue toxic masculinity wasn’t a factor, they’re teenagers in the 90s written by a pretty misogynistic woman so…). he was the youngest son out of how many children? all of his older brothers were brilliant in some way. bill was an extremely gifted spellcaster, charlie was gifted with magical beasts, percy’s academic score was unmatched, and fred and george (despite their trouble) were entrepreneurial inventor-geniuses. ron, on the other hand, was quite literally born a disappointment to his mother, who conceived him specifically because she wanted a daughter, whilst ginny was born her favourite (though, even then, ginny was gifted at quidditch). ron was mediocre in every sense of the word, and his two best friends were harry (one of the most famous wizards) and hermione (the smartest witch of her age yada yada). and i’ve seen people argue that harry was more welcomed by molly into the weasley household than ron ever was. this isn’t even mentioning the amount of bullshit he copped for being poor (people always downplay the blow to confidence being in poverty can have on a person who is constantly surrounded by people who not only have more, but look down on him for simply being unlucky as to not have what they do).

so yeah, ron was an envious kid, but he was that way not because he was an evil patriarchal conception but because he was lowkey neglected. and even then he was overall an extremely devoted and loyal friend to both harry and hermione, because he did genuinely love them.

there were many moments of ron standing up for hermione that was cut from the films, not as a guy who was romantically interested in her, but as a friend. ron arguing with snape for making hermione cry is one of my fav scenes in the books ru kidding me, and in the movies he AGREED with snape RU KIDDING ME. not to mention how ron was a sobbing violent mess when hermione was getting tortured in the last book, whereas he wasn’t nearly as bothered in the films. and the films cut out harry being a dick to ron about his familial concerns (in dh), so when ron left it seemed like a random dickish move over his jealousy towards harry and hermione’s relationship.

there’s also a million moments where they minimised ron’s usefulness in the books for comedic purposes (forbidden forest with aragog, troll scene, devils snare scene) so ron seems dumber than he is. like, he’s actually smart and a really good spellcaster…. in the books.

so simply by stating this most of the arguments against romione become void. “he’s too stupid/weak for her” simply not true. “he’s a terrible friend who doesn’t stand up for her” also not true. “he’s too insecure to have made a move on her,” yes, but given the context i don’t think people would freak on about ron’s upbringing, i think many would be more understanding, especially considering his growth. even if he wasn’t insecure, hermione is beyond incredible and is bound to make anyone nervous when pursuing her (not an excuse for ron to act like a dick, but it does explain a lot where the movies don’t). “they argue too much” they bump heads, none of the arguments they have are actually super damning, with the exception of ron leaving in deathly hallows.

maybe i’ve covered everything (excluding the abhorrent amount of classism that clouds people’s judgments around how they view ron when harping about how hermione deserves better? hopefully).

now, i know people won’t like me mentioning the cursed child, but i’m going to considering we actually get an insight of their life as a longterm married couple there. a lot of ron stans hated how ron was the only character that wasn’t doing something incredible. harry was head of the aurors, ginny was a famous quidditch player retired to a famous journalist, neville was a hogwarts professor, hermione was quite literally minister on magic. and ron…. ran the joke shop with george.

and i think this was almost the perfect route to go down for ron. because he was average, and was perfectly fine with just being average. hello?? that speaks leagues of growth for his character. he’s supportive of hermione’s work, he grounds her when she gets too caught up in being the literal president of wizarding society, and he still viciously defends her, minister or not. in fact, he’s proud to simply be known as hermione’s husband because he doesn’t feel the need to prove to anyone else his worth. the people he loves most know his worth, hermione never downplays or underestimates him, they are complete equals in the relationship in every single way that matters. they kept ron’s best qualities whilst making him seem more of a healed person. they work so well as a married couple without it seeming like mischaracterisation (not to mention the cursed child literally shows how those two are in love in every reality, so there quite literally can’t be a better partner for hermione or ron according to canon).

so i really don’t understand how professional relationship counsellors can go online and denounce it. probs because they only watched the movies, but it’s 2023 and ron stans should not STILL be fighting for their lives trying to defend him from people who simply don’t consume media with as much depth (which is fine, but one should clarify if they’re talking about the movies because i’ve seen people state they’re talking about the hp BOOKS when it’s simply just…. the films). anyways. romione on top, thanks to coming to my ted talk.

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doonalli · 5 months

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Why Anzu Kinashi is important (Anzu Character Analysis)

Anzu is my favourite character in the entire game but looking around the fandom I see a major lack of any real discussion about her place in the story as a character, mainly boiling her down to comedic relief and not much more. And while I do think she has a place as a the comedic relief I also think that there is so much more to her that gets glossed over by the fandom and I want to talk about that and hopefully add more to what people think about when they talk about Anzu

So, the question is "what is the point of Anzu story wise?" and the answer, like most things in 3-1, is that she shows a facet about what it means to truly be human. Anzu's death is the tipping point for Sara, it's the moments she realised she valued a human's life over a doll's.

But why was it Anzu's death which caused this specifically, instead of the any of other dolls like Kurumada, Hayasaka or Mai, who were all directly chosen by Sara? In my eyes it's because Anzu is the most "human" of any of the dummies. throughout 3-1 we are shown many moments "proving" the dolls "aren't human", Ranmaru has his scene where he takes of his hand, Kurumada has the very obvious hole through his stomach, Mai is proven to be a doll when we check on her though the dummies control system after she is left behind with Qtaro and even Hayasaka says "he isn't human anymore" and that "he isn't the real Hayasaka" multiple times, but Anzu never gets a scene like this, even in their early deaths all the other dolls die in clear sight being ripped apart, pierced, or having their head explode, but Anzu dies away from sight in her coffin, still mostly intact. To me it's clear that this was done on purpose since after Ranmaru takes of his hands he uses Hayasaka's death as evidence for him knowing he was a doll

But there is no equivalent to this line of dialogue if Anzu is dead since her death doesn't help prove anything to Ranmaru. On top of that Anzu is the only doll to never really do anything morally reprehensible in any stretch of the imagination. Unlike Mai who stabbed Qtaro to live, unlike Ranmaru who ends up stunning Sara to lock Keiji up and considered killing everyone to escape with sara in a moment of weakness (even going through with it in the logic route), unlike Hayasaka who was forced to gather information on everyone for Asunaro, and unlike Kurumada who was the last doll to trust any of the survivors being the most antagonistic at first, Anzu doesn't ever do anything wrong and even claims

When sara's wish causes Anzu's death she is unable to run from the fact that the only reason Anzu died was because Sara was told she was a doll and that makes her less valuable than a Human, Anzu wasn't ever shown to physically be a doll like Kurumada or Ranmaru, she never did anything morally reprehensible like Mai or Hayasaka, and she is the only doll who wasn't prepared to die during the banquet.

Anzu's death itself even plays into this. Despite being the only doll to not tell Sara she is okay with her picking their coffin at any point unlike the rest of the dummies and by extension being the only doll to be unable to "make her own choice" (a major recurring theme throughout 3-1) in regard to her own death she instead has her "humanity" stripped away from her by Midori, instead Anzu shows her humanity in her final moments through her own fear of death. The fear of death is something that YTTD argues is inherently human throughout the whole game. Anzu even says it herself earlier,

on that note I want to also talk a bit about Anzu's character itself.

As mentioned Anzu fears her own death but interestingly, later when Kurumada refuses to use the charger claiming that it could instead be used to extend the others lives Anzu ends up being the first person to step in and tell Kurumada no, claiming that they're "allies"

she makes this choice knowing the battery could be used to extend her life and still she decides that it's still important her allies stay alive too. And later in the banquet Anzu is always the first person to react to everyone's death up until she ends up dying herself. In the emotion route during the pre-banquet she talks about how she isn't happy about the people who had to die along the way if any of the dummies died.

and in the logic route, if at least one of the dummies are dead alongside Alice/Reko, she says

which just reinforces that idea that Anzu's allies are something that is important to her. Another line that is important for her character that also occurs during the pre-banquet is in the emotion route, if all the dummies are still alive Anzu says

Its a line that really does explain how Anzu thinks about these things and its one that I personally see discussed in the fandom the most in relation to Anzu but I don't think people discuss the full story with this line, in the logic route Anzu instead says

Here Anzu IS thinking about the scary future just ahead of her, exactly the opposite of what her other dialogue would lead you to expect from her. She isn't just this clueless girl who doesn't know what's going on or a static character but someone who has the ability to think about and have her own thoughts and have those thoughts change based on the things around her. (Bonus: She is shown again to actually think about things and not be clueless in her minisode after she gets her outfit and thinks to herself

and later on when she asks Ryuu

it all just reinforces the fact that Anzu is actually capable despite what it may seem at first.)

Anzu is someone who is defined by her fear, she is scared of dying to the point of not even being able to resist, both in her first trial and during Keiji's fight with Midori, and she is just as afraid of the scary future just ahead of her, but she is also someone who shows that at times she is just as capable to work past her fears to help out an ally who is trying to protect others over themselves or think about what needs to be done in order to move forward. But she is still just human and as YTTD makes clear again and again,

When Anzu has to face her death head on she is afraid of it, whether it's during the first trial, during her first obstructor death, or during the banquet, Anzu is TERRIFIED of facing her death head on, just like Nao was when, even after accepting her death, she stops Sara from pressing the button and killing her early, just like Shin was when he first saw his win rate and he takes up the Sou identity, and just like Midori is later in his final moments during the banquet, because fearing death is something that is inherently human, it doesn't matter how far you try to run from it or how much you accept your death, after all

Anzu reminds us and Sara about the value the doll's lives truly have and about how superficial the difference between humans and dolls really are, despite everything, Anzu is still alive, she was never proven to be inhuman physically, she wasn't doesn't want to die just like any human, she never does anything selfish or morally wrong, she is someone who trusts her allies and who doesn't want to see them die just the same as any other human. It all proves that Anzu IS human despite the physical truth, and just adds onto the core themes of chapter 3 and YTTD in general. And that's why it's such a shock to Sara when she realised, she values a human's life over Anzu's and why it had to be Anzu specifically who died for it, at this point the only real justification Sara can bring herself to say is that Anzu is a doll and Gin is a human because past that Anzu is just as alive as everyone else.

To me Anzu is crucial part of YTTD, someone who adds onto the themes we already have in the game and elaborates on them, she is someone who plays an important role in the story, one that couldn't really be played to the same effect by any other character, and a character who feels genuine like everyone else in the game. I think relegating her to "just a comedic relief who doesn't really add anything to the story" or someone who "doesn't have a personality past funny clown girl" and glossing over the character moments that ARE present in game seems sort of unfair and disingenuous to me and I hope this post helps you see that there is more to one of the more overlooked characters in the cast and helps you appreciate her more as her own character. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yayay I did it, I made a real post, LET GOOOO!! people who know me knew this was going to be my first post lmao. Some final notes: Its my first time doing something like this (and I am not really good at putting my thoughts into text) so hopefully I still got my point across and hopefully as I do this more, I'll get better at it. There are a few extra points I could have made, like how in her minisode Anzu's friend specifically says "(She's a scaredy cat, so I bet she really is afraid...)" playing into Anzu's fear again or how her going and asking Ryuu about street preforming could be taken as her working past her fears even before the death game, or a few moments in YTTS but I didn't really know how to fit it in anywhere so I am just gonna put it here lmao.

Lastly I just want to be clear, since at times it seems like I am saying otherwise, I am not saying you can't like Anzu just because she is silly what I was trying to say was that there is more to Anzu and that boiling her down to just that and nothing else is kinda unfair, Anzu IS silly and she is so based for that and if you like her because of that then that's also based, I don't ever want to tell anyone they are wrong for enjoying Anzu for being silly because quite frankly, she is lmao, I just wanted to shed some light on why I love Anzu personally. and with that, Thanks for reading!!

#your turn to die #anzu yttd #yttd #yttd analysis #yttd dummies #yttd spoilers #anzu kinashi #or maybe she was just there to be silly idk lmao #analysis #character analysis

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rosatka · 5 months

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In defence of The Dark Lord |Part 1|

We all know Dark, Chosen's old friend and a villan in AvA V. He killed The Second Coming (TSC) and their friends - and then he was killed by TSC, we all know this story. What if I told you that this story, seen through the eyes of the same cybercriminal, is kinda different? What if, from his perspective, it didn't look the way we see it? Let's start with the background and follow the whole process of The Dark Lord appearing in the series. And to be honest, Dark didn't have much of a chance to show us what's more to him. That's why we rely on what Alan provided in the videos and our own thoughts.

Let's recap, shall we?

It all started when The Chosen One was starting to destroy everything on the computer. And Alan wanted to stop him. So he created a stick, who would be able to kill, or like Alan would say, destroy The Chosen One. And here he comes - The Dark Lord (TDL).

In the first few seconds of the Dark Lord's existence, he stretched. He had no purpose. He was just an ordinary stick with some powers, right? Well, let's take a closer look at this.

Let's note the most significant aspect in this entire situation. The Dark Lord is the only character in the entire series created by Alan that wasn't created accidentally. Alan intentionally made him. It wasn't a coincidence, as was the case with Victim, The Chosen One, and The Second Coming. And let's observe that The Dark Lord behaved very differently from The Second Coming, The Chosen One, and Victim because he wasn't concerned about Alan killing him. He wasn't afraid because he knew he was created intentionally. He wasn't created by accident, Alan had no malicious intentions toward him. It's clear, from the beginning when The Dark Lord started carrying out his orders, and then... that's a different story.

"Destroy The Chosen One"

When Alan set a purpose for The Dark Lord, Dark immediately became more energetic, more curious. Not in the sense of The Second Coming, but he was still interested in where his purpose led. Then, he moved on to confront The Chosen One. It's worth noting that their fight was quite comedic. It seemed as if they weren't fighting for life and death but rather playing like children. Perhaps it's because we're watching it from an observer's perspective. During their fight, Alan observed, but didn't directly assist The Dark Lord. Dark had to contend with a powerful stick that could easily lead him into a minefield, yet Alan didn't help him at all. Alan didn't aid Dark in saving the computer. Therefore, this situation was quite drastic, quite dramatic, foreshadowing something that would later unfold, leading The Dark Lord to officially become the antagonist of the entire story.

It's worth noting that in the eyes of various applications, programs, and the like, The Dark Lord wasn't an enemy. He was their ally, and they readily committed to collectively defeating the common foe, which in this situation was The Chosen One.

I guess it's worth noting that the apps obeyed TDL when Dark ordered them to engage in combat. This implies that he had power over them, likely due to Dark being kinda some sort of antivirus at that moment.

After the great defeat of all programs, including The Dark Lord himself, Dark was cornered. He couldn't do anything and essentially had to rely on the mercy of the enemy. In a way, he showed surrender and fear towards The Chosen One. It indicated that he wasn't entirely loyal to his code and Alan - or maybe this is a sign that Dark had some normal emotions (more than anger and hatred). Perhaps it was because he noticed that Alan didn't help in the battle and was actually enjoying himself playing cards.

I also like to mention my observation: Dark obeys any being stronger than him. Initially, there was Alan, who was in power to delete things at any moment. Later on, The Chosen One, stronger than Dark, but, as known, only after their first battle. Dark always follows someone until that person becomes his enemy or acts against Dark's actions.

The Chosen One made it clear to The Dark Lord that Alan didn't really care about him and didn't help much in that situation. The Dark Lord understood that his creator was indifferent towards him, leading to TDL and TCO joining forces to make Alan's life a living hell for a second.

----

THERE WILL BE ANOTHER PART!!

#alan becker #ava tco #ava tdl #animator vs animation #ava chosen one #ava the dark lord #ava dark lord #the dark lord #ava

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astriwilt · 25 days

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I think the biggest reason we can’t push for any type of censorship of art is because everyone you ask is gonna have a different idea of what is and isn’t wrong. So come with me on this journey as we try to figure out the morality scale for fiction.

Ok first idea: This is intentionally the most outlandish one…and I don’t believe anyone believes this…but we’ll get it out of the way. We’re gonna ban anything that portrays an immoral action of any kind. This includes murder, rape, all that jazz. But even the most outlandish immoral actions can fall under this ban. Sleeping Beauty portrays a woman cursing a baby to death when she turns 16. This is an immoral action. However….nobody has the power to actually curse a baby….so maybe….

Second idea: We ban any portrayal of an immoral action that can be replicated by an actual human. So again; we’re talking about murder, rape, etc. Avatar The Last Airbender portrays a genocide. Genocide is a very very immoral thing that does happen in real life. However nobody seems to have an issue with this. Why is that? That’s probably because ATLA portrays it in a very respectful way, and understands the weight of the issue. So maybe…..

Third idea: We ban any portrayal of an immoral action that does not portray that immoral action in a respectful way. So we’re talking about basically any comedy or satire? It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s comedy comes from the character’s immoral actions. The fact that we’re supposed to laugh at what these characters are doing means that whatever situation is being presented is not being presented in a respectful way. So how about…

Fourth idea: We ban any disrespectful portrayal of an immoral action that’s not being portrayed for comedic or satirical purposes. A lot of crime dramas portray horrible things happening that don’t even get mentioned in the next episode unless they’re apart of the bigger story. These horrible things are being presented for dramatic purposes and dramatic purposes only…not to make some point about anything. Like I mentioned most crime dramas even forget the murder happened in the literal next episode. So instead of lumping these immoral actions together; how about we gage them individually?

Fifth idea: The immoral action that can’t be portrayed depends on the weight of the immoral action. Well now we’re back to the ATLA genocide. Genocide is probably one of the most immoral actions in the world. Genocide is worse than something like incest. So why are people more quick to ban something that portrays incest than something that portrays genocide? Why are people more quick to ban something that portrays a toxic relationship rather than something that portrays murder? Maybe it’s because somebody watching could have been affected by a toxic relationship? But someone watching a show about murder could have as easily had someone they love be murdered.

So what’s the scale of morality here? Is it about how the topic affects the person watching? Well that’s really situational isn’t it? That’s my point. The entire argument for what we should and shouldn’t censor is really situational to an individual’s morals. I could go on and on with more examples of what could be our standard here….and the fact that I could have so many of these examples proves my point. There is no set moral standard that everybody has for what should and shouldn’t be in fiction. So what should we do? Perhaps what we want to see should be managed by ourselves. If we don’t want to see a certain topic being presented; then we don’t have to. Nobody is forcing us. The idea that all fiction should cater to our real life moral standards defeats the point of fiction. Fiction is supposed to take us away from reality. To put us in a new situation and a new headspace that we can’t experience in real life. Censorship is the natural enemy to art, because art is supposed to be limitless.

#anti censorship #anti purity culture #pro fiction

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wooahaes · 7 months

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a little request

pairing: non-idol!seungkwan x witch!gn!reader, ft.bookkeu & mentions of cheol + kkuma.

genre: fluff, slightly comedic, magic au [reader uses magic, seungkwan does not]. exes to lovers. implied hip hop unit as other witches.

word count: ~0.9k

warnings: mentions of curses. magic user reader. 'witch' is used as a gender-neutral term in the fic

daisy's notes: btw gyu did it to drive them together

Despite the reason he was here literally standing next to him, Seungkwan wasn’t sure why he’d come to your house. Didn’t you get tired of living in a creepy place? This place looked like a stereotypical witch’s house, right down to the fog that seemed to roll in around it. Then again, maybe you liked the obvious warning signs: you were a witch, after all.

Although he felt the urge to turn back, Seungkwan tugged his jacket closer to him before looking to Bookkeu as he tugged at his leash. Of course Bookkeu knew this was your place—either he remembered it, or he could smell you from here. The pup looked back at his owner before tugging at his leash again, letting out a whine.

“I know, I know,” he said with a sigh, finally moving from his spot. “If they’re mad, I’m blaming you.”

Bookkeu merely pulled against his leash again as he bolted forward, yanking Seungkwan after him. With a firmer grip, Seungkwan managed to get control again, stopping his dog in his tracks. He’d made it to your front steps. For a moment, he just needed to shut his eyes, take a deep breath, and then move forward. One step, and then another, and then another, and he’d reached the top of your front porch. A few more steps, and he was at your door. He knocked instead of ringing the doorbell: he knew how much you hated the sound, only because it was this glaring warning that whoever had come didn’t know you.

Bookkeu sat next to him, ears perking a little as he heard your footsteps growing closer. This was the last time Seungkwan was going to see you, he swore it. If only Vernon wasn’t out of town right now.

The door unlatched, and soon opened up to reveal you. Immediately, your smile fell upon seeing him. “How did you get here?”

Seungkwan reached into his collar, pulling out the necklace you’d gifted him forever ago. You’d charmed it so that he’d be protected from any wards when they were up, and you’d never taken it back after the breakup. “It’s Bookkeu,” he said. Immediately, he saw your gaze soften—you were always fond of the pup. “Someone cursed my dog.”

Your eyes widened at the news, and you immediately looked at his dog, who… looked entirely fine (of course he was: Seungkwan remembered what you taught him, he could break the stupid curse on his own). Then a moment later, you were laughing. “Oh, Boo.”

“I broke it,” he said, “but I found out who did it, and I need your help for revenge because—”

“Already on it, honey.” You chuckled, stepping back and turning.

Fuck, he hated the way his heart leapt at the term of endearment. For a moment, he had thought you hated him… but that question was probably entirely genuine. Not just anyone could get past your wards, and they must be up if you were asking. He hated this a little, though. He hated how easily he seemed to slip back into your life, already knowing that you’d be up to hex someone back after they messed with his dog.

You called over your shoulder once Seungkwan stepped inside and shut the door, “His treats are—”

“I know.”

It was as if the two of you never even split. Why did he even break up with you? The memory was foggy now, and he never could focus on it right. He looked to Bookkeu, who merely tilted his head at him cutely. Little shit, Seungkwan thought for a moment, you did this on purpose, didn’t you?

He knelt down, unhooking the leash. “Fine,” he said in a quiet voice. “Maybe your parents will get back together. Are you happy now?”

“It’s good to see you, you know,” you called out from where you’d started searching for a tome. Bookkeu had already skittered off once Seungkwan stood back up, coming into where you were standing. “Both of you, I mean. Not just Bookkeu.”

Seungkwan nearly rolled his eyes: of course you’d initially mean his dog. He came into your study, opening up the (new, he noticed) container of dog treats to pull one out for Bookkeu. “Is there someone else with a dog coming here, or do you just miss Bookkeu?”

“Kkuma likes those treats too,” you said without missing a beat. You ran your fingers along the spines of the books, pausing to pull one down. “Cheol comes around sometimes. My wards don’t seem to affect him.”

Seungkwan nearly huffed, instead busying himself with kneeling down and calling to his pup. Bookkeu rushed back over upon seeing the treat, sitting down in a display of “see? I’m trained.”

“Just say what you want to say, Seungkwan.”

He looked up, lips slightly parted as he grew flustered. He averted his gaze for a moment, dropping the treat onto the floor for Bookkeu to take. “Did you miss me?”

You merely hid a smile, opening up the tome and setting it onto the nearby stand. “Maybe. You said you know who cursed our child?”

“I traced it like you taught me—” He paused. “Our child?”

Your eyes seemed to glimmer as you smiled, flipping through pages. “Let’s get a little harmless revenge, honey.”Seungkwan found himself smiling, too. Oh, how he missed this.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @staranghae @synthetickitsune

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagine #svt x reader #svt imagine #seventeen x you #svt x you #boo seungkwan fluff #seungkwan x you #seungkwan fluff #seungkwan x reader #wooahaes.fall23

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