#my favorite metalhead twins | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jadequeen88 · 2 years

Text

Watchin' You

Summary:

He walked around the corner of the building that housed the showers when he saw them. Eddie knew that was your canvas bag, the very one he saw you pull out of the floorboard of his van when you got out. There was no mistaking that the black, lace boy shorts lying on top of your other clothes were yours. It looked like you’d stepped out of them and laid them right on the bag. That could only mean one thing… “Oh, fuck me sideways…” You’d been wearing these. You sat in Eddie’s van wearing these exact panties.

Notes:

I had a mighty need for more Virgin Eddie content that resulted in this monstrosity of a one-shot... that will have a part two! Let me know what y'all think of my characterization of our boy in the comments!

TWs: Virgin Eddie Munson, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Eddie Munson Has ADHD, Vaginal Fingering, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Panty Kink, Eddie Munson is a panty thief, Panty thief

“Hey.”

Eddie looks around his locker door to ensure he’s not hallucinating, that an actual, real-life girl is speaking to him.

“Y-yeah? Me?” goddammit, of course, his voice would choose to crack now.

“Yeah, you.”

Oh god, you’re pretty. Like, music-video-vixen level pretty. It’s terrifying.

“Um, what is it?”

“Smooth moves, jackass. Now you sound like a dick,” he thinks.

You bite your bottom lip, looking slightly amused. Ah, shit. You’re about to laugh in his face, aren't you?

“We’re twins,” you say, holding out the bottom of your t-shirt. Sure as shit, you are in matching Iron Maiden shirts. Eddie nearly faints. However, what he actually does could be considered worse than fainting in front of his dream girl.

“Oh,” he squeaks out, slamming his locker door and turning to walk away quickly.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! What the fuck was that?! his brain screams. The first time a girl speaks to him without ill intent, a girl who likes his favorite band no less, and he runs away like a bitch. Perfect.

That was the only interaction between you and the awkward metalhead in high school, but it was enough to make a lasting impression

After that day, Eddie soaked up any and all information about you that he could. He knew you had just transferred from Indianapolis and that you played the French Horn. You must be good because he discovered that you were first chair and section leader. Eddie knew that you liked to skip your third-period gym class to smoke. You often joked with your friends about how your days playing your instrument were numbered due to the bad habit (he may or may not also skip that period just to sit on the other side of the tall brick wall to hear your voice, not creepy at all, shut up).

He knew that you used expensive Italian perfume to cover the smell of cigarette smoke; something that in Eddie’s mind smelled like sophistication and raw sex appeal, but according to what you told Buckley, actually smelled like bergamot, sandalwood, and patchouli. He also knew you used cherry chapstick instead of lipstick in neon shades as other girls did. You didn’t wear much make-up, mainly eyeliner which made your eyes darker and more mysterious.

He knew that you mostly stuck to your group of band kids. There was this one time, however, when you saw Carol Perkins trip one of the chess team kids in the cafeteria. You gave her a black eye in front of the entire school and got suspended for a week. It was the most metal thing Eddie had ever seen.

He could write a novel about you. He could fill chapters describing how your hair caught the sunlight or how you twirled your rings around your fingers when you were concentrating on a test. He could write sonnets about your chipped, black nail polish and scuffed Docs. He could write dissertations about the intricacies of your music tastes and how closely they align with his tastes based on the bits of band merch you owned and how you chose to wear them.

But Eddie couldn’t fucking speak to you.

He considered it almost daily. But he’d always end up nauseous at the very thought of trying to approach you. So he never did, and you walked that stage in May of 1983 never to set foot in the halls of Hawkins High again. You got your diploma, went back to Indianapolis for college, and left Eddie behind to rot in the dusty trailer park he called home.

If you’d told Eddie then that a few years later, he’d be trauma bonded with Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, and “King Steve” Harrington after fighting interdimensional monsters and saving the world, he’d have laughed in your face. But here he is, freshly graduated (finally), surrounded by friends, and sporting some gnarly scars to prove it all happened.

He was out by Steve’s pool (one of the perks of having a rich friend) watching the sunset and sharing stories with his friend over a beer. The crunch of gravel on the driveway drew their attention to the front of the house as they were standing to compare demobat scars.

“Buckley and Wheeler?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded.

“Yeah, and Robin’s other friend. Just graduated college. I don’t really know her that well, but she spent her senior year in Hawkins. She was a band kid or something, I think. Played the same instrument as Robin,” Steve waves his hands in a vague gesture trying to think of what the instrument in question was again. “That… big, curly trumpet.”

Eddie swallowed hard. “French horn…” he whispered, and Steve snapped his fingers in frustration that he’d forgotten the name of his best friend’s instrument.

There’s no way, it couldn’t be…

He didn’t have time to do more than grip the glass bottle in his hand and stare towards the side of the house where their friends’ voices echoed. He felt too exposed shirtless, so he bolted to grab his cropped Metallica tee and hurriedly threw it over his head.

“The fuck is your problem, man?” Steve asked, weirded out at his easy-going friend’s sudden burst of anxiety.

“Just,” he waved his hands around in frustration, trying to formulate a proper response. “The scars. They’re kinda gnarly, ya know?”

Steve scoffed. “Pretty sure it was Nance and me who kept you from bleeding out, and Robin has seen more of us than either of us are comfortable with, so what-”

Eddie shifted on his feet uncomfortably, arms crossed over his chest and eyes on the ground. Steve bent forward to meet his gaze, hands on his narrow hips and sporting a shit-eating grin.

“Oh shit, is it the band girl? Do you know her?” Steve walked towards him, speaking in a hushed tone, eyes brimming with mischief. The thought of Eddie “cold, cynical heart” Munson having a schoolboy crush was sending him over the moon with glee.

“Fuck off, Harrington,” Eddie hissed in Steve’s face right before you and the rest of the group rounded the corner of the house.

“Holy hell,” Steve murmured low enough for only Eddie to hear, “Didn’t know band nerds could look like that.”

Eddie was so enchanted by your sudden appearance that he almost missed the salacious tone of Steve’s voice. Almost.

“I will end you, Harrington. I swear to God, if you-”

“Jesus man, cool it. I won’t step on any toes,” he raised his hands in surrender, and Eddie’s glare softened marginally. “I’m only noticing what anyone who isn’t blind would.”

Eddie took a moment to look at you properly. You hadn’t noticed him yet, so he used the opportunity to drink in your form. He felt like a man wandering the desert deprived of water, finally making it to the bank of a river. Sure, he pined after you for an embarrassingly long time after you left Hawkins, and he never really forgot about you. There were other crushes and even a couple of make-out sessions, but they were never you. Seeing you now in that flowing, white swimsuit cover, skin glistening with sun tan oil, and that blinding smile spread across your face, Eddie felt like that sixteen-year-old loser who ran from you in the halls at school.

“Yeah, well,” Eddie grumbled under his breath so only Steve could hear. “If you try anything, I’ll make sure you do end up blind.” He schooled his features to look unfazed the closer you got.

“Jesus,” Steve wheezed, still a little shocked at Eddie’s rare burst of aggression. The last time he saw him this worked up he was holding a broken beer bottle to his neck in Reefer Rick’s boat shed. “Got it, chief. No funny business outta me.”

Eddie was so fucked. Not only was he trying to deal with being in your presence again without making an ass of himself, but his friends were also onto him. It’s almost like fighting monsters and nearly dying in a hell-dimension together made you all very perceptive of behavioral shifts. Who knew? It’s nice for Eddie to have a group of friends who finally get him, but hella inconvenient when he’s trying to hide the fact that he has a crush on the new addition to the group.

Steve, naturally, noticed first. Seeing Eddie get all “aggro” right off the bat killed any chances of him playing it cool. So his gaze followed him throughout the night, observing how Eddie would interact with you.

Steve’s attention then spurred Robin's attention. And when she has her sights honed in on a situation, it’s like a Great White sensing a drop of blood in the water.

The “Scoop Troop Wonder Twins” gawking at him (they were not being subtle at all, by the way) caught the attention of “super-sleuth” Nancy Wheeler. That led to the three of them huddled in a mass, whispering together on the opposite edge of the pool.

The only radars that Eddie was managing to fly under were Jonathan and Argyle’s. That’s not hard to do since they were balls-high on Purple Palm Tree Delight as soon as they sat in the metal deck chairs on Steve’s patio.

Then there you were, partaking in the rotation with the two stoners, a spot Eddie usually occupied. With your feet propped in an empty chair, he could hear you talking passionately about music with the other two. When he looked up as he heard you call out to him, Eddie knew his face had to give away how shocked he was.

“Hey! It’s Eddie, right?” You moved your feet out of the empty chair and motioned him over. “I remember you being a man of taste. Come over here and back me up on this.”

Eddie would readily agree to anything you asked of him. He’d fight to the death over it now.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he scratched his head a little and walked over to sit.

You promptly handed him the tightly rolled joint, smoke curling out of your nostrils like some sort of sexy wyvern, eyes half-lidded and just a little red. Oh god, he’s so terribly in love.

“I’m going to give you two options to choose from. No right or wrong, no pressure. But be warned,” then your lips curled in a mischievous smirk. He was reminded again of a dragon offering a riddle to a poor mortal that stumbled upon her hoard, the answer granting safe passage or untimely demise. “I will remember how you answer, and I will definitely judge you for it.”

Eddie almost choked on the smoke he’d inhaled like he was fourteen again and smoking for the first time behind his uncle’s trailer. “Wow, yeah. No pressure at all. Okay, hit me,” he responded, trying to appear calm as he passed the joint to Argyle.

“Black Sabbath with Ozzy? Or Black Sabbath with Dio? You’ve got thirty seconds,” you grinned evilly, swinging one leg over the other and leveling your dark gaze at him.

“Oh shit, man. Uh,” Eddie was losing it. He didn’t expect such a difficult decision. Choosing between his two favorite metal vocalists? Pure torture. But he’s a professional metalhead, after all. He’s put thought into this very question. “Ozzy Sabbath is iconic, of course. But Heaven and Hell is hands down one of the best albums ever written.”

You clapped once loudly and then pointed at Jonathan cackling. “What did I say?! One of Sabbath’s best albums ever made was with Dio fronting!”

The shaggy-haired stoner groaned and rolled his eyes. You looked over at Eddie, biting back a wide grin. “Jonathan said Sabbath wasn’t really Sabbath anymore once Ozzy left and that no one would agree with me when I defended Heaven and Hell!”

“Wait, you listen to Sabbath, Byers?” Eddie questioned, brows raised. He never took the gangly pothead as someone who would listen to metal.

“I listen to a little of everything, I guess,” he mumbled, passing the joint back to you to start another rotation.

You leaned your head back to gaze at the stars that just started to appear in the sky as you blew the fragrant smoke from your lips. “You passed my test. Congrats,” you extended your arm to Eddie, looking at him softly. Your fingers brushed as you handed over the roach, the joint almost gone by now. “I won’t judge you so harshly now.”

Maybe it was the high setting in, but Eddie swore he saw you throw a little wink his way. There was no stopping the goofy little grin taking over his face as he took the last hit off the joint and relaxed into his chair.

Eddie wasn’t ever, nor ever would be religious, but there is one quote he’s often heard that has stuck in his brain:

“The Lord gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.”

It only confirms there is no Christian god in his mind. He’s been thrown into the toughest battles of his life constantly over the past few weeks, and if there is one thing Eddie knows for sure, it’s the fact that he is no one’s strongest soldier.

Today’s challenge took the form of a slip of black lace peeking out of the top of your duffle bag.

This most recent dilemma was the result of Eddie agreeing to something he’d always avoided until now…

Fucking camping

Eddie hated the outdoors and hated being forced to spend more time than necessary roaming them. (Uncle Wayne always blamed it on having a dad who only ever taught him how to commit crimes and never took him camping as a small child, but who knows?). As soon as you consented to the idea, Eddie was totally on board with going along. Steve started to give him shit for agreeing so quickly to something he knew his friend hated until Eddie leveled him with a glare so toxic it could melt the paint off the walls.

By this point, he was pretty sure everyone besides you knew about his crush (and probably Argyle, but that guy was constantly operating on another wavelength). Even Nancy started giving him knowing looks behind her permed bangs when he’d laugh just a tad bit too loud at your jokes. Eddie nearly threw Steve out of his passenger's seat when you asked to hitch a ride with him out to Lover’s Lake campground.

“What the fuck, man! I can just get in the back-”

“Nope. No. Fuck off, Harrington. Take your own car this time.”

“But I just washed-,”

“Don’t care…”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake!”

Steve relented, making up a random excuse for taking his car. Robin happily jumped into the passenger seat of his little Mercedes and took over his radio. Eddie just grinned and threw a middle finger at his friend, who glared at him over the top of his car before getting inside.

“Thank god I’m riding with you! I don’t think I could suffer through any more of Argyle’s stoner tunes.” you hopped into Eddie’s van wearing a cropped Mercyful Fate tee and tiny denim cut-offs. So much exposed skin with no warning was doing terrible things for Eddie’s poor, inexperienced (dick) heart. “I love the guy, don’t get me wrong, I just needed to bond with a fellow metalhead today.”

Eddie cleared his throat and smiled, starting the car. He’s grateful he has the excuse of watching the road to keep his eyes (mostly) turned away from your exposed thighs. “Of course. Anytime.”

If Eddie weren’t so hopeless, he’d make some quip about all the fun ways the two of you could ‘bond’, but how could he flirt with you when looking at your legs had him getting hard like some fifteen-year-old? He was so hopeless.

“You can put in anything you’d like,” he gestured to the shoebox that held his cassette collection at your feet. “Most of my shit is at home, but I keep a decent variety here.”

He heard little ‘oohs’ and ‘ahh’s’ as you shuffled through the box. Eddie couldn’t help but feel a little proud that you approved of his musical selection. You yelled an enthusiastic “You’re fuckin’ kidding me!” and popped a tape into the radio before he could ask what you’d found.

“Where did you find this?! I’ve looked for months!”

Eddie started sweating when he heard the opening riff to the raunchiest goddamn song. It was his prized possession, one he only got his hands on because of friends in high places, W.A.S.P.’s “Animal” cassette.

“Umm,” Eddie’s brain short-circuited as you began to move to the beat of the music, throwing your head back and grinning at him wildly. “I’m pretty good buddies with a guy that owns a record store up in Indianapolis. Asked him to keep an eye out for me. I only got it a couple of weeks ago.”

“God, I’ve been dying to hear it again after hearing it live last March.”

Eddie’s nerves were quickly replaced with excitement. “Wait, live, you say?!”

“Yup,” you pop the p proudly and rest your feet on the dash. “I’ve got a cousin down in Dallas, which sucks, by the way. I don’t recommend ever going to Texas. Anyway, we saw them open for Iron Maiden. I’m telling you, it was a religious experience.”

Eddie slapped his hands on the steering wheel and a short, disbelieving laugh escaped his throat. “That’s insane! Holy shit, man!”

“I know,” you hummed. He felt you look over at him. “Have you gotten to see either of them live yet?”

“Nah,” he sighed. “Not yet. But one day! I’m already saving up.”

“We’ll go together,” you said it so casually, you acted as if it made perfect sense for you guys to go to a concert together. “We can split costs.” Eddie’s heart jumped up to his throat, and before he could form a coherent response, he saw you looking in the back of his van. He suddenly worried about what filth might be lurking back there. “We could even bunk up here and save on a hotel!”

Eddie stuttered and scratched his neck nervously. You must have taken it as rejection because you looked embarrassed as you sat back down and started fidgeting with your hair.

“Oh god, I’m sorry, Eddie. I do this thing all the time.” You waved your hands around in front of your face when you said ‘thing’, trying to find the words to express how you felt. “There aren’t many people I can talk about music with, you know? So I get all worked up and excited when someone else seems interested in the bands I love, and I assume we’re best friends.” You let out a self-deprecating chuckle, looking out the passenger side window. “I know it’s off-putting.”

Eddie couldn’t have that. He shook his head so hard that his hair slapped across his face. “Nope, uh-uh. Cut that out.” He glanced over to make sure your attention was on him. “That was like…” he sighed. How could he reassure you without outing himself as being obsessed with you?

“It was so far from off-putting. You have no idea.” Eddie swallowed hard and noticed you looked a little confused. He gathered the meager bits of courage he possessed and continued. “I’m just not used to…” he paused. He can’t say ‘Sorry, I’m not used to my walking, wet dream asking to road-trip with me to go to a metal show, so I don’t know how to function right now.’ so he took a moment to choose his words carefully.

“I’m just not used to other people being as excited as I am about my music, either. So I was just… surprised. But in a good way!” He gripped the steering wheel a little tighter and added under his breath. “In a great fuckin’ way, actually.”

Eddie watched you visibly relax. “Oh, thank god,” You chuckled. “I know I can be too much sometimes. I think the reason why one of the only people I’ve stayed friends with is Robin. She’s one of the only people that’s never judged me for it. Robin and I are kinda cut from the same cloth, I guess. Kindred spirits, if you will.”

It warmed his heart to see you smile when talking about the freckled girl that also wormed her way into his heart.

“Buckley’s a good one. She uh,” Eddie’s throat tightened as painful memories flashed across his mind. Tears and mud streaked across Robin's face, screaming something he didn’t understand…Her body quaking under his as she helped drag him along dank, dark earth… her sniffling and talking to him quietly as she bandaged his mauled sides, offering soft words of comfort and handling Eddie as carefully as if he were spun glass…

He cleared his throat and blinked away a rogue tear threatening to escape. “She’s one of a kind. Harrington, too. Shit, the whole bunch. You’ll see, you don’t have to be anyone but yourself around these guys. Promise.”

Eddie felt comforted as he watched you relax further into the passenger seat. He knew all about being ‘too much’ and how people treated those that dared to be unapologetically themselves. He had no idea someone as perfect as you ever experienced things similar to his own growing up.

The rest of the short drive consisted of talking about music and shows you’d been to, always with the promise of ‘when we see them next time.’ Including Eddie in your plans made Eddie’s insides all gooey and his heart flutter. He tried to keep reminding himself that just because you were being nice to him that it didn’t mean you were about to confess your undying love. It’s a problem Eddie has always had. He can’t love anything halfway; not his music, books, or even a few movies he’d been obsessed with over the years. It also bled into his relationships, this all-consuming, feral love. Uncle Wayne has always said that he wore his heart on his sleeve, even after life had given him every reason to build a barbed wire fence around it.

Eddie parked a little way uphill from the others since his van doubled as his tent and because he valued his privacy. He told himself he didn’t want the younger kids catching a whiff of his nightly smoking sesh (He knows they know about his drug dealing, but that doesn't mean he wants to flaunt it). A darker part of him knew that he might have to indulge in other nightly activities after watching you in a tiny, red bikini all day.

Eddie graciously helped everyone out with setting up their tents. However, he still periodically reminded anyone who would listen that he didn’t have to bother with tents since he owned the superior form of transportation that doubled as a car and a place to sleep. So what if his chest puffed up a little when you giggled at his comments? He didn’t think it warranted the gagging and eye-rolling he got from Henderson, Red, and both Sinclair siblings. Damn kids…

When everyone went to the campground showers to change into swimsuits, Eddie simply threw his shirt off, opting to swim in his cut-off jeans. He snickered, thinking about the look of horror he’d get from Mr. Former Swim Team Captain at his audacity (he banned denim from his pool to force Eddie into a pair of borrowed trunks, but they were at the lake now. King Steve had no power here).

When you left the showers with Robin and Nancy in a cherry red bikini, Eddie made a beeline for the toilets. There’s no way in the nine circles of hell he’d be able to swim around without getting hard at the sight of you. He walked around the corner of the building that housed the showers when he saw them. Eddie knew that was your canvas bag, the very one he saw you pull out of the floorboard of his van when you got out. There was no mistaking that the black, lace boy shorts lying on top of your other clothes were yours. It looked like you’d stepped out of them and laid them right on the bag. That could only mean one thing…

“Oh, fuck me sideways…”

You’d been wearing these. You sat in Eddie’s van wearing these exact panties.

He knew he’d probably hate himself forever for what he was about to do, but in his defense, Eddie did make sure you had extra pairs of clean panties before swiping these (He’s not a monster, okay? He wouldn’t dream of leaving a fair maiden pantiless). After taking them, cursing himself quietly, he high-tailed it back to his van to hide them. He couldn’t help feeling like Gollum, storing the One Ring away in his cave away from nosey hobbits.

Before going back to the lake, he couldn’t resist pulling the fabric to his face and inhaling deeply. Eddie’s eye’s rolled into the back of his head, groaning at the light scent of you that permeated the delicate fabric. He shook his head and threw them into the van to rest among his bedding. If he got too carried away now, he would never get rid of the persistent issue he had grown between his thighs.

After another adjustment and filling his thoughts with some of the most boner-killing scenarios, Eddie was finally able to rejoin everyone at the lake. If he had to remain solidly waist deep the entire time to avoid embarrassing himself and everyone around him… Well that was his business, wasn’t it?

As Eddie’s luck would have it, as soon as he dared to slip the tantalizing strip of fabric that haunted him all fucking day long over his face, there was a knock on his van door. He nearly jumped out of his skin, sitting up at lightning speed.

He cracked the back door open and gasped when he saw it was you, still clutching your panties firmly in his grip. He slammed the door shut before you could speak and dove towards his bedding, stuffing the offending garment deep into his pillowcase. Eddie took one large breath to steady himself before turning to open the back door again.

“H-hi, umm,” he wanted to curl up into a ball and die. He just knew you were on to him. You were probably knocking on his door to tell him what a filthy pervert he was and demand he hand over your underwear. “What’s uh… what’s up?”

You looked both amused and slightly confused, one eyebrow cocked upwards. “Well, the thing is,” you looked around the dark campground, biting your bottom lip. “My tent keeps collapsing. So I tried bunking with Robin and Steve, but there was no room. All the other tents are full too, so… if it wouldn’t be too weird, I guess…” you trailed off sheepishly.

“You wanna sleep in here?” Eddie knew his eyes rivaled the size of the full moon that hung above your heads. He felt equal parts horrified, shocked, and elated that you’d ended up seeking him out.

“I’m sorry if it’s too weird! I can just squeeze between Robin and Steve, it’s no big-”

“No,” Eddie barked. He cleared his throat a little and lowered his voice. “No, it’s totally fine. I don’t mind at all,” The thought of you snuggling up to Harrington was one he didn’t want to entertain. He hoped his smile was reassuring and not creepy like he felt it might be. You must not have cared since you beamed at him and announced you’d be back with your bedding in a minute.

Eddie scrambled around to ensure the mess in the back of his van wasn’t too out of hand. He’d thrown an old pair of boxers and an empty beer can over the driver’s side seat when he heard you knock again. He was relieved that he decided to shower and put on deodorant earlier when most of the other guys didn’t after swimming all afternoon. Eddie would have lain awake all night in misery if he’d had to share close quarters with you smelling like a fish.

Once you were both inside the van, he closed the door, and the silence was deafening. You must have noticed the tension because you shifted an inch closer and cleared your throat. That gave Eddie the courage to sneak a peek at you over his shoulder.

He nearly groaned as he watched you pull a joint out of your goddamn bra and wave it in front of you, cocking an eyebrow up and smiling.

“Purple palm tree delight?” Eddie whispered, his mouth dry as cotton before taking a single hit.

“You know it,” you responded, pulling a lighter out of your pillowcase. Eddie wondered why you weren’t using your pockets. He risked a glance down towards your lap. Your shorts (if they could even be called shorts instead of underwear) were so tiny that there was no way you’d fit anything in there, even if they did have pockets. He felt dizzy at the thought of you being in such little clothing this close to him all night.

You lit up the joint, the small, flickering flame casting your features in an enchanting glow. Eddie was close enough to smell that you’d used some of that expensive perfume. A tiny, pathetic part of him wondered if you’d done it for him. ‘Don’t be a fool’ he thought. ‘Just because she’s sharing her weed and talking about music with you doesn’t mean anything. Stop being a pathetic creep.’

He must have missed something you’d said because he heard you call his name and saw you looking at him questioningly.

“Oh, sorry. What was that?”

“I said, can I try something?”

“S-sure,” Eddie didn’t know (or care, if he’s being honest) if you’d asked to try out ritual sacrifice or if you asked to try a piece of his gum, but he knew he’d always let you try anything you’d wanted. “I need to get pretty close. Is that okay?”

Eddie nodded, transfixed by you getting up on your knees and leaning over his face. Your face was inches from his. Eddie thanked any deity that existed for the forethought he had to put his pillow over his lap. He’d beg to be struck down by lightning if you knew how easily he got boners when you were near him.

You brought the joint up to your lips. Before taking a hit, you asked, “Have you ever shotgunned, Eddie?”

Of course, he hadn’t. Eddie’s experience with the fairer sex was woefully lacking. Instead of admitting it out loud, he simply shook his head no.

“Do you want to try it?” you purred. Eddie gripped the pillow over his lap as he nodded yes furiously. You grinned and put the joint to your lips. Eddie could have cried when you placed your small hand on his cheek, thumb pushing his chin down to open his mouth for you.

Your hand traveled to the back of his neck as you released smoke into his waiting mouth, and Eddie shuddered. He grew so flustered that he could barely inhale what you exhaled towards him. His eyes closed, and he let out a shaky exhale as you began to play with his hair.

“How was that?” you asked, lips still heart-achingly close to his own. Eddie’s brain was mush. The defenses he usually kept up around you to appear cool were falling fast.

“Am I dreaming right now?” was the only coherent thought he could string together, so that’s what ended up coming out of his mouth.

Your laughter sounded like bells. “Why do you ask that, Eddie?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No,” you drew out your response, still looking at him suspiciously.

“I’ve been obsessed with you since I was sixteen,” you looked genuinely surprised, but Eddie couldn’t stop the words from flowing now that he unleashed them. “I think I might die if I have to pretend for one more day that I’m not,” He paused. Eddie was so terrified. He felt like he might puke. “You scare the ever-living shit out of me, but not in a ‘horror movie villain’ way,” he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. “In the way you might fear a beautiful warrior queen on the battlefield, or a siren out at sea.”

When he opened his eyes, he saw you wearing such a soft expression that he felt safe to keep talking. He said your name so quietly that he barely heard himself whisper it. “I’m just a freak that dreams about entertaining a goddess.”

Before he could feel insecure about spilling his guts to you in the back of his shitty van, your hands were holding his face, noses pressed together.

“Eddie Munson, you are a fool,” you whispered before attaching your lips to his in the sweetest kiss Eddie knew he’d ever had.

Eddie only nodded in agreement, clutching at your waist. He felt drunk off your lips, all of his insecurities taking a back seat as he reached for another kiss.

“You really had no clue?” you spoke into his ear as you kissed along his jawline.

“About what? Oh, fuck!” he whined as you sat down on top of him. Your weight in his lap felt heavenly despite the stupid pillow being in the way.

“About what?!” You pulled away with a wide eye stare. “I’ve been wanting to get in your pants since high school, you dingus!” You emphasized your point with a light slap to his chest. “I thought you hated me for the longest time! I was so nervous when I talked to you that one time we wore matching Iron Maiden shirts! When you ran away, I thought that was it. Then, years later, not only do I find out my crush is now friends with my best friend,” your arms wrapped around his neck as you leaned in. “I also find out that he’s got a big, fat crush on me too.” Your noses brushed and Eddie shivered.

“No fuckin’ way,” he whimpered as your lips brushed lightly.

“Yes fuckin’ way,” you replied, capturing him in another kiss.

Eddie didn’t question how you found out about his crush because he quite frankly didn’t have the brain power for it. He’d deal with all that later.

“Not to run you off or anything,” he sighed, relishing the feel of your soft hands exploring his torso. “But I was so obsessed with you back in school. Like, to a concerning degree.”

He didn’t expect you to moan into his neck at his admission, but he also wasn’t upset about it.

“Tell me about it, baby,” your voice was a husky whisper. “Keep talkin’ to me.”

“Oh god,” Eddie whined as he felt you begin to suck a mark into the delicate skin under his ear. “Feels… that feels so good.”

“Want me to mark you up? Show everyone you belong to me, Eddie?”

“Holy shit, yes! Please…”

“Then talk to me,” you kissed over the mark that began to form on his neck. “Tell me all about your little crush.”

“Fuck!” He cried out, bucking up into the pillow. “I, uh. I n-never even looked at anyone else in school after I saw you.”

“Not even the pretty little cheerleaders?”

“No,” he gasped when your lips met his again. “No one, I swear.”

You got off Eddie’s lap and he thought he might cry at the loss. The pillow hiding the tent he was sporting in his sweats was ripped away and for a moment, he felt self-conscious. You noticed him tense up and cupped his face.

“We can stop, you know?” Your eyes glowed with affection and Eddie wondered again how he was lucky enough to warrant that expression from you. “I’m just thrilled that we can be honest with each other now. We don’t have to do anyth-,”

“I’m a virgin,” Eddie blurred out. “Like a uh, mega virgin…”

Eddie could tell you were trying to keep your features neutral, but he saw the smile that wanted to peek out.

“A ‘mega virgin’?” You said, biting your lip to keep from laughing.

“Yes,” Eddie answered with a grimace. “Like an ‘I’ve never seen boobies in real life’ level of virgin. So, I’m probably going to be very bad at everything,” he looked up from his lap to lock eyes with you. Any trace of humor was gone, replaced with that honey-sweet fondness in your eyes.

“Can I be blunt with you, Eddie?” Your thumbs brushed his cheekbones softly as you spoke. “I’m so insanely attracted to you that I don’t think any touch you decide to give me could ever feel bad. Do you understand?”

“Y-yeah,” he responded with a whisper. “I feel the same way about you.”

Your forehead met his and he closed his eyes, afraid that when he opened them again, he’d realize this was all a dream.

“Do you wanna feel what kissing you does to me?” Eddie could only nod and pray to Lucifer that this was going where he thought it was. You grabbed his hand and placed it on your lower stomach. “Go ahead,” your lower lip brushed his as you spoke. “Feel how bad I want you.”

Eddie’s fingers trembled as they traveled past the elastic waistband of your tiny black shorts. He was mesmerized watching your mouth drop open and your eyelids lower in pleasure. When his hand’s slow descent made it to your soaked entrance, he was floored by how impossibly wet you were.

“Jesus H. Christ, this is unreal,” he moved his fingers up and down, not having any sort of plan, simply wanting to feel. By the way you grabbed his shoulders and started panting, you didn’t seem to mind his lack of skill too terribly. “Are you always this wet?”

You shook your head no instead of answering verbally. Eddie’s forehead fell to your collarbone as he let out a loud groan. His eyes were fixed on the outline of his hand in your shorts.

“Can we get these off?” He asked. “I wanna look, please.”

“Yeah, sure,” you responded, laying down on his blankets. You lifted your hips to take them off when Eddie grabbed your hands.

“Let me?” Eddie’s hands shook and his breath froze in his lungs. He’d dreamed of this exact scenario so many times before. This all seemed as fantastical as the D&D campaigns he spent hours writing.

“Please,” your voice was so airy and desperate. Eddie still couldn’t comprehend that he was the reason for it. You raised your hips and he slowly pulled your shorts off along with your panties. Immediately, he began running his fingers through your wetness, looking up at your face to judge your reactions.

“Does this feel good?” he asked. You nodded, biting down on your bottom lip with your eyes closed. He continued that way for a couple of minutes longer, panting at how wet his pointer and middle fingers had become. He laid his head on your thigh and kissed your damp skin. He kept his nose buried there, reveling in your smell and taste.

“I-I wanna make you come. Please,” your eyes met his and he kissed higher up your thigh, not looking away once. You threw your head back with a loud moan. Eddie felt like a god, your obvious signs of pleasure giving him newfound confidence. His fingers sped up while he added the slightest bit more pressure to his strokes. “That’s it, get loud for me. God, I fucking love your noises. Show me, baby,” he stopped touching you and grabbed one of the hands you had fisted in his blanket and wove your fingers together squeezing gently to get your attention. You nodded and brought his hand back down between your thighs.

“Put them inside,” you coached him along as he breached your soaked entrance. He went as slow as he could manage, eyes flitting between his disappearing fingers and your blissed-out face. Once he was in far enough, you spoke again. “Now, curl the- oh, fuck!”

Eddie grinned wildly at your outburst. He might be a virgin, but he’s not clueless, okay? Weirdly enough, he’d learned this little trick from Reefer Rick, of all people. They got high once and when Eddie let slip he was still a virgin, Rick took it upon himself to give him some sort of fucked up sex ed class on women’s pleasure. At the time, he wanted to curl up and die of shame. Now? All the embarrassment in the world was worth seeing your jaw drop and eyes roll back like this.

“There we go,” he purred. The part of Eddie’s personality that allowed him to go feral while DMing was bleeding over into his interactions with you. He sat up and began rubbing back and forth along your soaked clit with his other hand.

“Oh god, Eddie!” you looked close to tears as he massaged you inside and out. Your hips began writhing and when your thigh accidentally grazed Eddie’s stiff cock, he nearly doubled over. You noticed instantly and repeated the gesture.

“Fuck,” his movements faltered and you chuckled darkly, “Baby, if you make me come in my sweats I might die of embarrassment,” he whined through gritted teeth.

“What if I wanna see you do it?”

Eddie closed his eyes and inhaled deeply to collect himself. “Nope. Uh-uh,” he looked back down with determination in his features. “I’m getting you off first. I’ve dreamt of this for years. I refuse to jizz in my pants before you come all over my hands,” he redoubled his efforts, tongue peeking out of his mouth slightly in concentration.

Your eyes flew open and your body tensed. Eddie began to feel your walls fluttering around his fingers. It was the most intriguing and arousing thing he’d ever experienced.

“Holy shit,” he gasped. “You about to come, sweetheart?”

You nodded and grabbed his shoulder, sitting up a little. “Kiss me, please?”

Eddie melted. You wanting to kiss him while you came was so insanely sexy and endearing at the same time.

“‘Course I will, baby. Come here,” you crashed into each other, lips brushing together between panting breaths. You had one hand in Eddie’s hair and the other had a vice grip on his shoulder.

“Oh, fuck! Eddie, I’m-,”

“I know, I know. Give it to me,” he kissed you hard and imagined he’d died and gone to heaven when he felt your whine against his lips. You tensed all over. Eddie felt your walls clamp down on his fingers. He was amazed when you got impossibly wetter and threw yourself back into his pillow, nearly screaming in pleasure.

“Good girl. Good fuckin’ girl,” Eddie brushed your hair out of your eyes, staying like that for a few minutes. After you came down from your high, he laid down beside you.

Eddie held up the hand he’d had inside you and admired his soaked fingers before licking them clean and moaning shamelessly. You looked at him fondly, raising your eyebrows at his dramatics.

“What? Can’t help it,” he said, as he made a show of licking up his palm. “You’re sweet as honey.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, turning to throw your thigh over his lap. He shuddered and you grinned up at him with lidded eyes. “I bet you taste just as sweet, big boy.” Your thigh traveled lower. Eddie groaned and bucked his hips to chase the sensation. “You gonna let me find out? I know I said I wanted to see you get these sweats dirty, but I think I want you in my mouth more,” you whispered filth directly into his ear while petting along his lower stomach the entire time.

“If you keep doing that, I can’t make any promises I won’t get these pants dirty either way,” he moaned, grabbing your thigh and grinding it into his crotch again.

“You didn’t answer me,” you responded, sitting up and positioning yourself between Eddie’s spread thighs. “Are you gonna let me find out how you taste?” You pulled your shirt over your head, leaving you in nothing but a black lace bra, one left little to the imagination.

“Uh, yes? Fuck yes!” Eddie was pulling at his hair, nearly hysterical with desire. He was on the verge of embarrassing himself because he was so worked up. He scrambled to get his pants down without knocking you over.

“Eddie,” you laughed lightly, grabbing his hands. “Let me,” he nodded and crossed his hands over his chest, not sure where they should go. It’s not like he’s ever been in this situation before.

“Relax,” you said as your fingers dipped below the waistband of his boxers. Eddie met your gaze and nodded. You began pulling his pants down and he tried his best to control his breathing.

He groaned long and low when you finally freed him from his clothing, the cooler air in the van a delicious contrast to his burning skin.

“I knew it,” you purred, wasting no time getting your hands on him. Your touches were firm but gentle, running up and down his shaft. Eddie keened when your palm slid over his weeping head, smearing precum down his length. “I knew you were hiding a monster in those tight jeans.”

“M-monster? Really?” Eddie lifted his head off the pillow and searched your face to make sure you weren’t just mocking him.

“Are you kidding? This thing has gotta be close to eight inches, Eddie!” You stroked him slowly from base to tip as you spoke. “It’s the biggest I’ve ever seen, anyway.”

“It is?” He said, probably a little too eagerly. He was practically glowing under your praise. And you seemed to catch on to it.

“It is baby,” your voice was low and sultry. “The biggest and the prettiest,” Eddie bit into his fist, trying to stave off his creeping orgasm as you began massaging his balls with your other hand. “I can already tell I’m gonna want you in my mouth any chance I get.”

“Oh fuck, oh god!” Eddie’s hips jolted, “I might not survive your hand, much less your mouth!”

You grabbed the fist he’d been biting and intertwined your fingers. “Only one way to find out.”

That was the last thing you said before taking him halfway down in one go. Eddie squeezed your hand and shouted.

“S-shiiit! Y-you’re so,” he panted and squirmed, trying to string together a coherent thought. “You’re so perfect. Your mouth is heaven,” you hummed in appreciation of the praise and the vibrations felt like electricity dancing along Eddie’s spine. “Oh goddammit, I’m gonna come so fuckin’ fast.”

You pulled off of him to meet his eyes, “Do it,” you took his hand and placed it on the back of your head, “Wanna make you feel good.”

“Oh, you sweet thing,” Eddie stroked your cheek affectionately, “You do. You really fuckin’ do.” His hand went back to your hair as you swallowed him down again. It wasn’t much longer before he began warning you.

“H-hey,” his voice rose in pitch the closer he got to his release, “L-listen, angel. I’m about to come. Pull off.”

“Want it in my mouth,” you said, kissing his hipbone as you kept stroking him. “Can I taste it? Please?”

“Goddammit, yes! Oh yes, please!”

You hummed around him and with just a few more bobs of your head, Eddie released straight into your throat.

You slowly bobbed your head, swallowing every time another wave of his release entered your mouth. After a few seconds, when you were sure he was done, you released him from your lips and sat up. Eddie’s vision returned just in time to watch you crawl over his body and lay onto his chest. Your hands carded through the damp curls around his face.

“Wanna know a secret, Eddie?” You whispered, tracing patterns into his scalp as his breathing finally slowed.

“Y-yeah.”

“That’s the first time I’ve ever let anyone come in my mouth.”

Eddie’s face whipped over to look at you. “Honest?”

You smiled as you bit your lower lip and nodded, “Honest, baby.”

He shuddered at the nickname. “Mmm, keep callin’ me sweet names and you’ll never get rid of me, ya know?”

“That’s the idea, my love.”

Eddie made a growling sound as he clung to you like a koala. “You’re lethal. You know that?”

You didn’t answer but sat up far enough to envelop Eddie’s plush lips in a deep kiss. You made out like that for a while, until he realized he began to harden again. You seemed to notice it as well.

“Down, boy,” you joked, stroking his sides and nipping at his throat.

Eddie groaned. “Nothing’s going down as long as I’m this close to you,” he turns you both to your sides facing each other. “I can’t stop thinking about how warm and wet you are,” Eddie squeezed your sides and kissed along your collarbone. “You squeezed my fingers so tight when you came. I wanna feel you doing that around my cock, pretty mama.”

You wrapped your leg around his hip and whined. “Eddie I’m not taking your virginity in the back of your van,” his hand found your still-soaked entrance and began petting you while his mouth worked your neck over. You returned the favor by fisting his damp cock.

“Oh god, I don’t give a fuck where it happens,” he gasps as you run your palm over his sensitive head. “Please, I need it,” he bit and sucked the delicate skin of your neck, whining the entire time.

“No, Eddie,” your firm tone made him shiver. “You’ll get my hand and my mouth tonight. As many times as you need it,” your hand sped up as his fingers followed suit against your clit. “But you’ll get my pussy in my bed. So you can fuck me into the mattress properly.” Eddie came for the second time with a shout into your fist.

He looked up in time to see you lick it up from your palm like it was sugar. Eddie’s brain short-circuited. “I-I wanna make you come again,” he blurted out, still circling your clit. You nodded and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your forehead into his.

“Keep doing that,” you encouraged. Eddie nodded and picked up speed. He watched you in a trance as you unraveled under his touch for the second time in one night. He felt like a god.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty when you do that,” Eddie kissed all over your face as you laughed. “Ethereal, stunning, a work of art!”

“That’s all you, pretty boy,” you kissed the bridge of his nose and he melted.

“By the way, I’m totally down for van fucking, ma’am,” he feigned irritation as he poked your sides playfully. “Making a twenty-one-year-old virgin wait even longer is just cruel.”

“Don’t pout, Eddie,” you cooed, cuddling into his side. “I promise you’ll be glad you waited.”

“If you insist, princess,” he sighed, pulling your body close.

“I do,” you yawned. “Now sleep.”

“Hey, sweetheart?”

“Hmm?”

“How soon after we wake up can we get the fuck outta here and preferably into your bed?”

Eddie let out an ‘oof!’ as you slapped a pillow over his face.

“Less talk. More sleep.”

“Yes, love.”

#virgin eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #jade writes smut #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie my beloved

916 notes · View notes

prototypelq · 4 months

Note

DMC Questions Anon here!

This has always been on a "maybe" list of questions I'm not really sure if I actually want to ask or not, but decided why the hell not with Valentine's Day around the corner (I would ask on Valentine's day, but with my at least ten days between questions thing (which I still might be a teensy bit flexible with) doing that would mean I wouldn't be able to ask another question I want to ask when I want to ask it).

What are all your Devil May Cry ships? Which one is your favorite? Which do you think about the most?

Hi Ember, thank you for the ask! It's Valentine's, so I think I have a kind of obligation to answer this one today xD Sorry for being less active lately. However, I'm not out of the DMC woods yet, and I will try to participate in fandom week however I can.

Now, for the ask itself - I think the answer is rather obvious. DMC is primarily a family of losers drama, and I'm all here for it. Except NeroKiri and Sparda/Eva, those are adorable and we should appreciate them more)))

That being said, in a safe space, far far far away from canon, I really dig Dante/Lucia and Vergil/Lady*.

*Actually I think Vergil/Lady could be a possible post-dmc5 development too, or at least, I see their personal arcs aligning a bit past that point, cause both will need to adjust to 'normal human life', maybe they can go through that journey together. sadly the same cannot be said for Dante/Lucia, I think their opportunity in canon is far gone at this point, still I imagine they have nothing but respect for each other

Both of these will be adorable, also I can only envision the extreme 'double date' shenanigans, or, lord forbid, 'date advice' for or for twins. The romantic comedy potential in this far-far-far-away-from-canon scenario is completely off the charts. I'm surprised we're not talking more about this tbh.

Here be some date ideas, because I can be a shipping mess and I am legally allowed to today:

Sparda/Eva went to concert dates. I am all hands down for 'weird girl' Kyrie headcanons, and I am also both hands down for the same for Eva. She was a metalhead, maybe even a singer in a band. Even if she wasn't, you can pry my headcanon that she's the origin of the twins' musical talent out of my cold. dead. hands.

NeroKiri should go to a concert date too, for sure. But I think a sunset walk around the city, or maybe a fair would also be a good thing for them. Definitely cinema dates for these two. In general, they're probably good with any time spent together.

Dante/Lucia - Prime Soft Material TM. Dante is a prime gentleman when he wants to be, also Lucia is quite tender by nature. I imagine they'd have a good time on a botanical garden walk (Dante's okay with pretty much anything, Lucia would like something beautiful and educational). Maybe a picnic.

Vergil/Lady - wohooo these two are explosive. I imagine half of their time together is spent in a competitive mood, as both crave and thrive in it, and the other is them just... relaxing together somewhere, probably somewhere expensive, these two are classy. I feel like they'd be at each other's throats and head over heels almost in equal measure. If we're talking post-dmc5 scenario, then it's much more timid for them. At this point in their lives both are kind of tired of constant danger, even if the hunger for adrenaline will forever remain. It'd be a much slower and gradual process for them, likely developed over casually meeting or going on missions together. (Dante and Trish sniff them out miles away and squeal in true shipper glee on the inside) As for date ideas - vinery trip, maybe a literature evening (if Lady has it in her) or a theatre date. Last one seems the most likely to me.

17 notes · View notes

stonyponyofficial · 1 year

Note

well i simply must know. which adam movie would you say is your favorite? <this ask to be redeemed for future adamposting at any point starting...... now!

this is a very good question to start off with! consider this adampost REDEEMED okay no fucking around the bush here, i think Little Nicky (2003) starring Adam Sandler is my favorite adam sandler movie. its one i think anyone with an open heart and mind can get into on a lot of levels! its so silly, just the premise right. little nicky is the son of the devil with a heart of gold. he loves metal and looking emo and talks with a trademark adam character voice. he gains some metalhead followers bc hes the son of the devil and they think thats sweet. he always wears that coat cuz its cold for him (hes from hell) the twin towers are in the background of the poster jsut look.

shows u this image again SORRY but its true its funny 2 me.... look they even tried to cover it up lmaoooooo.

but like. its so not fucking talked about hello? granted i didnt know about a lot of these until i started my adam crusade, but this one especially. and its alright! its a pretty okay one! its so free of adam baggage its so easy to love this one but nooo we have to love the ones with the bigotries. look they even made a gameboy color game

its not very fun lemme tell ya. actually. let me tell you. so the first level is a tutorial about how to platform and its 'supposed' to be new york simulator bc he goes to new york and hes training to go to the real world i guess. the theming of 'new york city' btw is a bunch of random building stand-ups. but what do i find tucked a bit into the level? the only time two of the exact same, skinny, antennaed building are next to each other? i think u know what i found.

ahmmmm sooooooo and thats why belittled nicky is my favorite adam sandler movie thanks u for asking char ^w^ <3

#violet originals #adamposting #have mentioned little nicky a bit in previous adamposts but ill make it official #its just is the best one. the one u should watch right now probably #and thanks u for immediately heeding the call for more adam sandler questions to give me an excuse to adampost :3 <3 i live for this

6 notes · View notes

hammity-hammer · 1 year

Text

15 Questions, 15 Tags

@unclewaynemunson tagged me, thank you bug <3333

nickname: ham/hamethyst/hambone (my birthname's amethyst😎 and my dad liked to call me hambone, and it just got shortened over the years)

height: 5'8

last thing i googled: "how to make latkes" bc i forgot if they're shredded or sliced,,, but before that i had googled "old person with sunglasses glasses selfie" which is arguably 10000x funnier

song stuck in my head: absolutely fucking nothing right now tbh, lately Boogie Woogie Wu by ICP's been stuck in my head tho

# followers: 39😎😎😎i am a little guy but i do love all of you <3333 (you have no reason to feel intimidated by everyone else anna cause then wtf am i supposed to be?????)

amount of sleep: uhhh anywhere from 5-10 hours a night, i've got #insomnia lmao (last night i slept like 10 hrs i think? i overslept again)

dream job: oooo good question! genuinely, a pathologist would be sick as fuck! but, that's a lot of school and like i think too much stress. piercing's the cooler job anyways, and i've always been super into piercings so! being a piercer, final answer.

wearing: my mom's beat up low top black converse w my brother's mis-matched white socks(one's an ankle sock and one goes above the ankle bc i'm cool), my raggedy ass jean shorts that i found in my room yesterday, a cropped black tank top w skeleton hands on the titty part & a black & grey plaid sweater to stay warm <33 (also four bracelets that are staples in my outfit and a mushroom necklace and another necklace my friend made me that's amazing and a spell<3)

book/movie that summarizes you: oh fuck! i have never really thought about this, but uhhhhhhh..... i know i related a lot to "Words on Bathroom Walls", not because of schizophrenia (although that part hit close to home? but it turns out i'm just autistic lmfao) but just like... the realizing he was different later than most people do really got to me, and like finding people that loved and supported him even if he was a lil crazy was really comforting for me, because it feels like i've finally gotten my people around me. so yeah, i think that one! this had me thinking hard actually haha

fav song: Either, End of Beginning - Djo, Tennessee Whiskey - Chris Stapleton, or Cherry-Coloured Funk - The Cocteau Twins

aesthetic: i like to say goth clown BUT lately it has been more like... lazy metalhead (i'm aware none of my fav songs were metal BUT that's bc i have too many favorite songs to choose enough)

fav authors: oh god i can't read i don't really have favorites?? anymore? i know darren shan was my favorite when i was younger, the Cirque Du Freak series was my fucking FAVORITE. but lately i just read anne rice cause vampire diaries <333

random fact: uhhhh,,,,,, i have no idea man,, i was in choir for ten years? like with school??? maybe that's cool i guess?

i'll tag @solosnail @rhaenyyras @fagsculinity bc ! fun times and idk if i've seen y'all do any,,,,, if any of y'all were tagged already just ignore me :pp (also if you wanna do this go ahead !! tag me <3)

#ham thoughts #little tag game !#get to know ham

12 notes · View notes

campmurderparty · 8 months

Text

blair & noah.

Another part of the ritual that he loved: watching their faces as they were thinking, entirely visible in their expression. It was almost as if he could literally see the cogs turning. How am I going to get out of this?, they were thinking. How could I hurt him before he hurts me?, they wondered. Well, Blair wanted to tell them, you won’t and you can’t. No matter how many times he had done this, no matter if the victim was a man or a woman, all their escape attempts failed, and they could rarely overpower him before he got them back. Sometimes they’d be able to get a punch or kick in; one even stabbed him in the calf with his own knife, but he’d win in the end.

It was a game. He was a god. God always won.

It seemed noah came to the right conclusion. “Good girl!” blair praised her teasingly, rubbing the tip of his nose against her hair. “Now that we’ve got that squared away, I might trust you enough to take my hand off your knee… but not just yet.” to demonstrate that, he put more pressure down, increasing their speed just a little. He had to watch the speedometer, make sure she didn’t try to capture the attention of some roadside cop even if she said she wouldn’t. Victims lied. Blair lied, too. He lied when he said he’d let them go and lied when he said he wasn’t going to hurt them. He lied about whatever he wanted and laughed when they realized the truth of it.

“Peter cetera?” blair repeated in disbelief, tone utterly mocking. “My god.” He cribbed most of his musical taste from his twin brother, Darby, his hometown’s resident metalhead. Typically, Blair was the more dominant of the two, but he let his brother take the lead when it came to whatever they listened to. The local record store was run by the only two other people in town with similar tastes in music and fashion—of course, the good people of Robichaux labeled them as satanists because they didn’t know any better—and they imported records from out of the state and sometimes out of the country. Until his brother suddenly changed in the seventh grade from the normal trailer trash kid that the twins had always been and delved into the metal scene, blair hadn’t given much of a thought about music. Whatever steve miller band record his parents played or soft rock like air supply played on the radio was just background noise to him.

“You like chicago? That shit’s for old people, man.” his grip on his knife loosened just a little, head tilting as he started ranting. “You don’t know what’s up and coming then, I'm telling ya. Surely you know of metallica, right? They’re not my favorite but Ride the Lightning is one of the best albums that’s come out in decades, you gotta check it out. My brother liked Iron Maiden and shit but if I wanted to listen to a bunch of nerds talk about dragons and swords, I'd just go to some dungeons and dragons meetup, y’know?” blair laughed, delighted he had a captive audience. “Personally, I like this band called ministry. Their first album is some synth-pop bullshit, but then they came out with twitch and it was so much better. Darby said they were posers but…” he sighed, trailing off. It was hard to talk about his twin brother and hard not to talk about his brother.

He was getting distracted.

Suddenly, blair shifted his body and pressed the knife against her skin again. “Anyway! Who cares about that shit right now? Clever tactic, though, getting my mind on something else. You’re smarter than i gave you credit for.” he had to blame his distraction on anything but himself, so he decided that she was trying to manipulate him. “Too bad I hate smart girls.”

0 notes

ulfrsmal · 1 year

Note

2 & 22 & 24 for the violence ask game

Hello! This is for the fandom in my pfp; I'm not naming anything to avoid maximum violence.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

Welp my fave is the Main Character and his Pretty Boys, and I think they all switch... BUT. I can give an argument to why the Sickly King never doms (as opposed to never tops, given that he has children and has therefore Topped. But I don't think he was leading the fun let us say).

Powerful as he is in his day-to-day life, at least in matters of war and state, the bedroom is another story entirely. He wants to please his wife the Queen, and she's a force to be reckoned with; folding under her desire is both easy and pleasurable. His illness spares him from flare-ups because he's not exerting himself, she's right at home over him -- figuratively and literally --, and any sin he incurs in by letting her top can be prayed away. Most often with her on her knees at his side in front of the cross in their palace's private chapel. It is simply the perfect arrangement!

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

A fact I wish more mlm Main Character writers could incorporate into their work: Big Tall Surly Englishman was Main Character's first real male crush back in the first season. They're as canon as can be in the books too!

Though I have to say that my corner of this fandom is blessed in this regard, we don't tend to forget important bits!

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

OHOHOHOHOHO. This is the question that, had you asked me on reddit, would have prompted me to go on a literal neon*zi hunting spree. By which I mean blocking and reporting if it applies. Anyway, it's the Heathenry history part. Especially when tied to "historical accuracy". This type of show tends to attract a very specific type of asshole, and I can spot them at first glance. For those unaware but curious, the checklist goes something like this:

white man

norse pagan ("odinist" and "folkish" are literal neon*zi terms; "asatru" is one that should be examined more carefully)

really into viking history

the valknut symbol. thor's hammer and the helm of awe are the only other valid symbols

Odin Thor and Freyr are the only gods and if you worship Loki you're evil and if you worship any other god (eg Baldr) you're weak. Freya is there to be the goddess of love but never of war and she's always placed below Odin Thor and her literal twin brother Freyr

"the show can't be accurate because it must be politically correct for people to like it", "there were no black people in viking scandinavia" (factually wrong btw)

Also check any and all numbers in pfps, profiles, discord number IDs, etc. There are some associated with n*zism, eg eighty-eight & fourteen-eight eight.

On a more general note, if you suspect someone but aren't sure, other common themes are:

fan of Skyrim whose fave in-game race is the Nords

likes historical figures for their war achievements. even if the figure did civilian things, eg improved agriculture or made trade deals. even if the figure isn't well-known for the war efforts. if there is any military connection, they will like that and see value in only that

interest in military history and ONLY that (the biggest red flag is WW2 but I've also seen WW1, north-american wars, etc.)

metalhead super into black metal who won't accept any "posers" (aka metalheads who aren't into the same subgenres/bands). may or may not condone and/or agree with the likes of varg vikernes (who has done some truly vile things I'd have to Trigger Warning in here. look that up with discretion. there are MANY real-life horror stories in the history of black metal).

When in doubt, block preventively!!

#anyway. i ranted A LOT in that last question. sorry to whoever asked me this; I realise this is most likely not what you had in mind #i am simply sick and tired of those types getting a platform. so if i can spread the checklist i go through. i will.#the discord id point will be moot once they introduce the change they are announcing i think; but as of the writing of this answer it appli #anonymous #thank you for asking me #(oh and. yes. i realise i am a norse pagan metalhead into viking media who knows a bit about military history. i know i seem a red flag.#up to you if you wanna block me too. i do NOT condone or share those views in any way but words only go so far so feel free to block me too

0 notes

imacrowcawcaw · 4 years

Note

Hi I come with a rather silly question, but I was curious, according to your perception how would you describe the personality of every girl in the GVF fandom here at tumblr

That's not a silly question at all, I think it's great and actually quite creative!!!

It seems to me that there are a couple types, which is normal cause there's a lot of us lol. We're not all the same, even if we have some interests in common!

Types of Greta Van Fleet Fans on Tumblr as Observed By Me

Type 1: The Casual Fan

She knows their music, but it's not her favorite. She might reblog a few photos or funny things about the boys on occasion, but her blog is no where near dedicated to Greta and they probably aren't even one of her hyper-obsessions, just another artist in her library. She's more on the outs of the fandom; it's rare that she's tagged or mentioned in anything because not many of us know her. Greta Van Fleet is, most likely, an outlier in her music taste: either heavier than she's used to, or more classic rock when she's a straight up metalhead. All of this is absolutely okay! This girl is generally chill and sweet when she does get to interact, although if she ends up liking GVF more and wants to get "in" on the fandom it can be frustrating to make herself seen.

Type 2: The Die Hard Groupies

I feel kinda bad calling them this but, if given the chance, these chicks would become groupies in an instant. They love the band with their whole heart, and want to live a life of peace, sex, drugs, and rock n roll with their idols. But since they are contained to Tumblr at the moment, these ladies contend themselves with thirst tagging, sending various friends like @satans-helper and @dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade naughty fanfiction requests and confessions, reblogging pictures of their favorite groupies from rock history, and, of course, listening to Greta Van Fleet (cause they do like the music, I want to make it clear it's not all about sex). It's a toss up whether this girl is open to any and all of the boys, or has a lane she will die in. Jake seems to be the most common.

Type 3: The Accuser

This can girl is much, much more common on Instagram, but I've seen a few here too... The Accuser takes "cancel culture" to the extreme and is canceling a person for something every single day (and encouraging others to do the same) despite the fact that she still likes them apparently (you'll see that she still posts about this person who is "awful")? She thinks the boys are abusing their fame by not promoting social justice very publicly at all times, she has problems with all their girlfriends, she thinks the album is taking too long and that they're being lazy; she goes on rants about symbolism in the songs, makes every conversation about social justice no matter the relevance, and picks fights about the most ridiculous things. (Again, this was on Instagram, but I had two girls fighting over which twin had the larger gay following and things got INTENSE). This girl is quick to anger and accuse, wants everyone to be on her side and thinks even minor disagreements are Literal Death, and still proclaims to love the band despite finding fault in everything they do. High probability she excludes Danny or hates him the most. Yikes.

Note: If you're mad at "The Accuser" one cause, hey, sometimes there are problems that need to be addressed, keep reading.

Type 4: The Defender

While I prefer this girl over The Accuser, she is also... not perfect. The Defender, in contrast to The Accuser (and probably fighting directly against her in a reblog chain no one else bothers to read cause ugh this again), thinks that the GVF boys are literal angels on earth who can do no wrong. She agrees and backs up every decision they and their management make, and always jump to their defense whether it’s music, looks, actions, or online activity being criticized. She is probably a pacifist, heavily dislikes fighting, and wholeheartedly believes in “peace love and unity”. I wouldn’t say that she is naive or irresponsible entirely, but she tends to ignore anything that she dislikes or else immediately jumps to the defense. Think One Direction fangirls circa the early 2010s.

Type 5: The Happy Hippie Medium

This girl is what I, personally, would consider an enthusiastic yet responsible fan. She generally stays outside of the drama because it has nothing to do with her, she thinks it’s too silly to argue about, or she just values her sanity and peace. She does, occasionally, chime in on matters that she thinks are too important to be ignored, whether it’s the wait time for the album or their social media presence, and she’s always respectful about stating her opinion. She loves Greta and posts quite a bit about them, including original content, but she also has other interests that she blogs about. It could be other bands, aesthetic photos, astrology, artwork, tv shows, activism, it doesn’t really matter, but you’ll find that her blog is an interesting and utterly disorganized haven of herself. Gives great recommendations on all manner of things, and has probably been to a concert and had the time of her life.

Type 6: The Obsession Blog

This is the girl - or, rather, the blog - that is 100% about Greta Van Fleet. Every bit of content that comes in or out is GVF related; she’s the one you go to if you want a certain picture or an ear to hear your fantasies. Even more so if her blog has a specific topic, such as a Sam Kiszka blog! (Or @gretavanfleetconfessions lmao shameless self plug). She probably also has one or more side blogs where she has other content she is interested in, as well as personal information. I am surprised at how often I follow both blogs without knowing it’s the same person!!!

-----

So, I think that those 6 types covers pretty much all the types of fans of GVF on Tumblr, or maybe more accurately their attitudes and content. I admit that I probably walk the line between “Happy Hippie ” and “The Defender”; I try to keep a healthy balance between my obsessions and a healthy amount of affection to GVF, sometimes that means ignoring stuff!

I have also noticed that there are things that a LOT of GVF fangirls have in common that aren’t band related, but make this fandom more vibrant and close nonetheless. Many of us:

are musicians

are writers

are artists (plugging @sphoox cause she’s my favorite but seriously all the artists rock)

generally like to be creative, whether it’s crochet or cooking or making moodboards

have other shared bands, such as: Led Zeppelin, Fleetwood Mac, Motley Crue, Guns n Roses, Nick Cave, Hanson, Harry Styles, Lana Del Ray, Twenty One Pilots, David Bowie, Pearl Jam, Metallica...

have other shared tv shows and movies, such as: Avatar the Last Airbender, The Witcher, Killing Eve, Mad Men, The Office, Parks and Rec, Labyrinth, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, The Adams Family, Pirates of the Carribean...

are interested in astrology and star signs

are interested in history

are interested in fashion

love to read and learn (not necessarily in school) and have all manner of knowledge

are in the LGBT+ community

are women of color, in and outside the U.S.!

are neurodivergent

love nature and being active outdoors

love and share various aesthetics, whether it’s cottage core or ‘67 hippy or 80s rocker vibes

I love this fandom community and hope I can remain a part of it for a long time! There are things that diversify us and things that bring us closer together, plus, of course, the four wonderful (and sexy) musicians that brought us all together in the first place. What type of fan do you consider yourself to be? Was I accurate (enough), are there more types? I hope I haven’t wildly offended too many people lol....

#greta van fleet #gvf #lulucrowproductions #my writing #gvf fandom #peaceful army #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner

57 notes · View notes

ssuibian · 4 years

Text

ssuibian’s mdzs fic rec

It looked like there was a few interested in some mdzs fic recs so here I am. I’ll divide this into mdzs verse and modern au so scroll to what you like. Some of these will be the infamous ones, but they’re known for a reason so on the list they go.

Before we begin some info about my preference’s: I read a little bit of everything, almost exclusively completed works and mostly wangxian-centric.

Code: personal fave - ♛ / explicit, contains smut - ♞ / fluff - ✿

All of these are on ao3, so check them out on there for more info.

Mdzs verse (set in the same era as the novel/cql)

Tame by rikke ♛✿

Tags: teenage wangxian, canon divergence, humor

Length: 11.7k words, oneshot

Summary: When Wei Wuxian wakes up in Lotus Pier after the Xuanwu Cave it’s with a souvenir in the form of a Xuanwu egg. Wangxian end up as young parents.

A civil combpaign by ariaste ✿

Ariaste has a lot of good fics and is a wonderful writer so check out their other works too!

Tags: Jin Ling x Lan Sizhui, background wangxian, humor, teenage drama

Length: 19.6k words, oneshot + a sidefic from wwx’s pov

Summary: Jin Ling tries to arrange his own marriage and thinks Lan Sizhui could be a suitable match. One problem: he’s a teenager, the matter is handled accordingly.

The lotus defense society by mondengel ✿

Another good writer with a lot of content!

Tags: humor, background wangxian, background yanxuan

Length: 3.4k words, oneshot

Summary: Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji start a club to help them ensure the Jiang siblings stay single until they can confess.

Phantom leashes by mondengel ♛

Tags: vampire au, horror elements, set in canon

Length: 3.1k words, 2/2 chapters

Summary: Lan Qiren can’t help but be cautious of his youngest nephew who inherited his mothers bloodthirstiness.

An effect (without a cause) by astrobandit

Tags: post-canon, amnesia

Length: 15.4k words, 10/10 chapters

Summary: Lan Wangji knows that something is wrong. Maybe the black and red clad man saying his husband is missing has something to do with it.

Unexpected by nanodayolo ✿

Tags: princess and the pauper au, wangxian, mo xuanyu x xue yang, humor

Length: 68.2k words, 22/22 chapters

Summary: The Jin clan is on the borderline of bankruptcy and arranges a marriage between their third son Mo Xuanyu and the second master of Lan, Lan Wangji. Sabotage is in the works and Mo Xuanyu is kidnapped, luckily they have look-alike Wei Wuxian to step in as a stand in. No one will notice, right?

Baby of mine by pupeez4eva ♛✿

Tags: time travel, humor, a-yuan

Length: 3.3k words, oneshot

Summary: A-yuan has time traveled to his parents teenage days in Gusu. Cloud Recesses is in chaos by what their visitor from the future implies.

Another writer with many good works. My personal faves also include The haunting of Wei Wuxian (ghost’s follow wwx around post resurrection and are witnesses to wangxian)

and the Wangxian’s time-travelling shenanigans series (they time travel to Gusu school days in the middle of the Guanyin confession. doesn’t stop wwx)

Where the winds of change blow by merakily

Tags: post-canon, humor and a dash of angst, hurt/comfort, juniors, family

Length: 17.4k words, oneshot

Summary: Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng is always a second away from stabbing the other. Who would’ve know a discussion conference and sect leader Yao’s loud mouth was what it took to make them get along.

The twin jades’ mother by drjlecter

Tags: post-canon, mild angst, twin jades, canon compliant, TW! mentions of suicide

Length: 11.8k words, oneshot

Summary: Wei Wuxian does some experimenting and somehow manages to use inquiry to call upon a very dear spirit.

The father trap by jinko ✿

Tags: post-canon, juniors plotting, humor

Length: 3.6k words, oneshot

Summary: The juniors are frustrated that wangxian isn’t together. They start plotting to make it happen, overlooking the fact that they might be engaged.

Asympotic by chinxe

Tags: canon divergence, pining, angst w/ happy ending

Length: 26.6k words, 3/3 chapters

Summary: Lan’s have a history of having tragic love stories. Lan Wangji follows tradition by falling in love with a ghost.

Some days. by jollytortoise ✿

Tags: emotional hurt/comfort, post-canon

Length: 8.3k words, 4/4 chapters

Summary: Wei Wuxian is sick, and the entire Cloud Recesses is thrown into disarray. It’s a bad day and all he wants is his husband.

Conversations: this mending fences thing by alcove_words ✿

Tags: post-canon, moving on, family

Length: 4k words, oneshot

Summary: Wei Wuxian and Lan Sizhui have to stop at Lotus Pier when wwx is injured on a night hunt. Jiang Cheng tries to pick up the pieces of the relationship he once had with his brother.

Lan Sizhui sees dead people by darkbrokenreaper ✿

Tags: background wangxian, canon divergence, humor

Length: series, 7 stand alone works, ongoing

Summary: The time a-yuan spent in the burial mounds has left its mark by giving him the ability to see ghosts. As a result he shocks the people around him when he talks about things he shouldn’t know.

Recompense for the martyr (wicked nights howl) by anemonii ♛

Tags: post-canon, family, emotional hurt/comfort, memories, brotherhood, forgiveness, canon typical violence

Length: series, 3/3 parts

Summary:

Part 1: Jin Ling is cursed by a sword and witnesses the owner’s memories. As a result he’s taken back to the Lotus Pier of his uncles’ childhood, their teenage days in Gusu and their fallout when the Yiling Patriarch appeared.

Part 2: Wei Wuxian decides it’s time he and Jiang Cheng talked.

Part 3: It’s time to lay Mo Xuanyu’s body to rest.

The Yiling Wei clan by scifigeek14 ♛✿

Tags: canon divergence, family of choice, fluff, everyone lives/nobody dies, getting together

Length: series, 6/6 works

Summary: Lan Wangji decided to stay at the end of the visit to Yiling. It changes everything, for the better.

Modern au

Unstrictly ballroom by ariaste ♛♞

Tags: competitive ballroom dancing au, background songxiao

Length: 47.5k words, 4/4 chapters

Summary: 13 years ago Wei Wuxian was involved in a scandal and thrown out of the competitive ballroom dancing scene, and Lan Wangji never stopped looking. Faced with the heteronormativity within the field, Lan Wangji and his dance partner decide to make a change. It’s something so fitting Wei Wuxian, and Lan Wangji really wishes he was there now.

Lightning in a bottle by bigbabyjeno ♞

Tags: photographer lwj, wedding crasher wwx

Length: 10k words, oneshot

Summary: Lan Wangji is the photographer for a wedding and catches Wei Wuxian sneaking in, claiming to be the bride’s brother. They disguise him in as Lan Wangji’s assistant so he can see his sister get married. The night ends with some smutty times.

By mistake or design by allurie ♛♞

Tags: fashion designers au, slow-burn, sexual tension

Length: 51.7k words, oneshot

Summary: Lan Wangji is the head designer of the haute couture division of the fashion house Nuage, while Wei Wuxian is the head designer for ready-to-wear. Circumstances have them end up working together, and the result is an explosive collaboration.

The best of you by sysrae ♞

Tags: university au, mutual pining, emotional hurt/comfort, mental health

Length: 41.9k words, 17/17 chapters

Summary: Wei Wuxian rents Lan Wangji’s spare room after being thrown out by the Jiang household. Living together makes Lan Wangji learn to know Wei Wuxian on a much deeper level.

So take my hand (take my whole life too) by cicer ♛✿♞

Tags: university, kid-fic, accidental baby acquisition, mutual pining, humor

Length: 92.3k words, 13/13 chapters

Summary: Wei Wuxian was waiting for his package. What he finds on the doorstep instead is a baby in a car-seat with no one else in sight. Wei Wuxian juggles taking care of a baby and being in love with his co-parent/ roommate/ best friend Lan Wangji at the same time.

Let’s you and me go for a ride by rinsled05 ♛✿

Tags: racing au, a-yuan, brotherly love, fluff, hurt/comfort

Length: 21.4k words, 5/5 chapters

Summary: Competitive motorcyclist Wei Wuxian meets his very handsome sponsor Lan Wangji, who despite not liking racing still comes back to watch. He wonders why.

Love wakes me by dea_liberty ♛✿♞

Tags: childhood sweethearts, famous lwj, coffee shop owner wwx

Length: 42.8k words, 4/4 chapters

Summary: A teenage bet was all it took for Wei Wuxian’s life to fall apart. As an adult he’s working in Yiling cafe, and he’s doing fine in his new life. That’s until Lan Wangji walk in the doors and make his heart ache again for everything in the past.

B-side by suspicious_popsicle ✿♞

Tags: band au, metalhead wwx, music teacher lwj, juniors

Length: 47.3k words, 15/15 chapters

Summary: Wei Wuxian disappeared right after graduation and Lan Wangji never saw him again. That’s until Lan Jingyi’s favorite band is performing nearby and Lan Wangji sees his first love again.

My dreams are playing softer now by fleurdeliser ♛✿♞

Tags: modern w/ cultivation, drunk lwj, humor, fluff

Length: 8.2k words, oneshot

Summary: Lan Wangji is drunk and his older brother decides he doesn’t want to deal with that and makes Wei Wuxian take responsibility. What follows is a cupcake date.

Congratulations, get rich by attila ♛✿♞

Tags: party, sibling shenanigans, big dumbass energy, humor

Length: 9,2k words, oneshot

Summary: Wei Wuxian really wants to kiss Lan Wangji at the chinese new years party. If mixing traditions and making his siblings go along with his scheme for it to happen, so be it.

The simplest way forward by harriet_vane ♛✿♞

Tags: kid-fic, accidental baby acquisition, green card marriage (except not), pining

Length: 71k words, 8/8 chapters

Summary: Wei Wuxian wakes up with an a-yuan in his care and he has no idea how. Lan Wangji helps out and Wei Wuxian tries not to fall in love with his husband.

Operation old men by chiharu ♛✿

Tags: juniors, matchmaking, family, doctor wwx, scheming

Length: 37.6k words, 6/6 chapters

Summary: It turns out Lan Sizhui’s father Lan Wangji and Jin Ling’s uncle Wei Wuxian know each other after a chaotic parent/teacher conference. The juniors decide to do some investigating that soon turns to matchmaking.

Your heartbeat, across the grass by fakeplasticlily ♛♞

Tags: football player lwj, photographer wwx, a-yuan, mutual pining, sexual tension

Length: 44k words, oneshot

Summary: After graduation Wei Wuxian has done his best to avoid everything to do with Lan Wangji. Not easy when Lan Wangji has become a world known fotball player and a-yuan’s favorite.

Other faves by this writer: Love on 35mm (lwj is a film student and anonymous famous vlogger who’s in love with his best friends younger brother)

and When we’re full of stories to be told (wwx went undercover for an article and cut contact with everyone. years later he ends up meeting childhood best friend lwj who has become a famous author.)

Wei Wuxian is the actual bogeyman (no really) by chatonnerie ♛✿

Tags: rise of the guardians crossover, humor, juniors, mystery

Length: 57.3k words, 6/6 chapters

Summary: Literal bogeyman Wei Wuxian was exiled by the guardians 1300 years ago. A mystery à la mdzs canon welcomes him back to the world for some buddy-cop holiday fun.

Our reflections as seen (when the water stills) by chatonnerie ♛✿♞

Tags: tokyo ghoul crossover, university, gore, humor, mystery

Length: 121k words, 10/10 chapters

Summary: Lan Wangji attends university and works for the ccg. His new course brings the annoyance that is Wei Wuxian into his life, who eventually turns out to be his new best friend. Lan Wangji is very concerned for his friends safety when he finds out Wei Wuxian’s brother is a ghoul. But that’s just the tip of the ice berg.

[This one is hands down one of the best fic’s i’ve read ever. Incorporates the mdzs and tokyo ghoul verse so well.]

And they were roommates... by harriet_vane ✿♞

Tags: fem wangxian, college/university, roommates

Length: 41.2k words, 4/4 chapters

Summary: Wei Wuxian is without housing for the semester and fellow student Lan Wangji has a room available. Based on infamous reddit post "I (21f) have a crush on my roommate (20f). I can't figure out if she actually likes me back or not or is just being friendly. She cooks for me and knows all my favorite foods, and brings me lunch. (...)”

Jiang Cheng’s terrible summer by hellohln ♛✿

Tags: camp rock crossover, getting together, humor

Length: 3k words, oneshot

Summary: Jiang Cheng tells his therapist about the disaster that was summer camp. Mostly because he had to witness his brother getting together with fellow camper Lan Wangji.

Let the streetlights guide you home by tellthemstories ♛✿♞

Tags: street racing au, pining, sexual tension

Length: 22.6k words, 5/6 chapters (steady updates so far so it should be done soon)

Summary: Wei Wuxian was the best street racer of his time and he was known for danger and recklessness. A fateful night with his sister beside him turns out to be his death. 10 years later Mo Xuanyu enters the scene.

Window shopping by thunderwear ✿♞

Tags: quarantine fic, single dad wwx, a-yuan, “long distance”, phone sex

Length: 18k words, oneshot

Summary: Lan Wangji looks out of his apartment window to see a sign from the neighbor across the street asking what his bunny’s name is. The interaction turns into more than a one time occurrence and introduces him to the attractive single dad and his adorable son.

A perfect match by elliemoran ♛✿

Tags: juniors, college/university, humor, gossip

Length: 2k words, oneshot

Summary: Professor Wei Wuxian overhears the students discussing in the library. It’s less about academics and more about how good he looks with professor Lan. But which Lan?

Make it count by wearing_tearing ✿♞

Tags: actor wwx, lawyer lwj, pining, fluff, light angst, background songxiao, background yanxuan, TW: attempted rape, stalking

Length: 46.9k words, 12/12 chapters

Summary: Actor Wei Wuxian makes his way back into the acting world and prepares for his new role by working at a lawyers office. It brings him back to an old acquaintance.

Grandmaster of demonic party games by trickster_angel ♛✿

Tags: college, paranormal, occult, light horror, mutual pining, humor

Length: 50k, 27/27 chapters

Summary: Wei Wuxian likes to try out paranormal games but is always interrupted by Lan Wangji. He keeps wondering how the other knows what he’s up to.

Scienter by synonemous ♛♞

Tags: serial killers au, dark, explicit, smut, flirting, crime, murder husbands, murder siblings

Length: series with multiple verses within the au, most can be read as stand alone’s

Summary: Serial killer Wei Wuxian aka the yiling patriarch has been flirting over text with the infamous fellow serial killer hanguang-jun. He has no idea who he is, but that doesn’t stop him.

#700 followers \(^_^)/#mdzs fanfic #mdzs fanfic rec #cql fanfic rec #mo dao zu shi fanfic rec #chen qing ling fanfic rec #the untamed fanfic rec #ssuibian.txt #my faves

58 notes · View notes

rockerfemme · 3 years

Note

all the colors

yas king indulge my need to talk about myself online! we stan!

orange: if you could, would you change your eye color? why? to what color, if so?

would change to green bc green eyes are gorgeous and the idea of being able to actually see your own pupils is whackadoodle

yellow: name of an artist you think is underappreciated

thin lizzy

green: do you have a favourite flower?

i do not

blue: preferred type of weather?

overcast

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

listen i know 2 poems off the top of my head and one of them is about a funeral and the other is the raven. i cannot answer this

magenta: do you keep your fingernails long or short?

i like long nails but i’m also a guitarist so they’re short on my left hand and long on my right. yes i know im unhinged

turquoise: favorite sea animal?

ooh girl shock me like an electric eel

cyan: are you religious? spiritual?

fuck no i actively dislike religion

sea green: can you fold a fitted sheet?

honestly? never tried

violet: are you a part of the lgbt+ community?

yup

amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen?

it’s like a metallica logo with a skull

aqua: do you thrift?

nope ive only bought 1 thrift store item ever

pink: what's your natural hair color?

black

beige: have any pets? what're their names?

never had any pets :(

black: would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan?

i could never i love eggs and bacon

coral: an animal you wish hadn't gone extinct

not actually extinct but yknow that post thats going around about how america used to have millions of bison

grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more?

just english and a school-level amount of spanish, which i want to get fluent in eventually

maroon: do you care for clothing brands?

nope i just go for whatever looks cool

rose: favourite scent on a person?

no idea

charcoal: have you ever been camping?

nope

copper: gold or silver jewelry?

gold

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?

piercings: i have both nostrils, septum, and industrial and i want a bunch more tattoos: i have a few and also want a bunch more

salmon: how many pairs of sunglasses do you own?

none bc i wear glasses but i really want a pair of aviators so ill prob have to look into getting prescription ones

ebony: would you ever want to play a game on television? (jeopardy, family fued, etc)

idk probably not

indigo: have you ever lived on a farm?

no but it seems like it might be fun

lavender: relationship status?

taken

fulvous: another name you think would suit you

i literally keep thinking about this bc i’m not sure im satisfied with kyler but i can never come up with shit. maybe just jeffrey

coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about

chemical weapons

frost: a -core you enjoy

proud to say that i do not enjoy any damn cores

porcelain: an tv show you used to love

zoey 101

fawn: any interesting family stories?

the time my dad allowed the basement to flood TWICE in TWO different houses bc he ignored my mom when she said “hey maybe you should check on the tank the shower water is turning brown” and, 3 or 4 years later, “hey maybe you should check on the tank i can quite literally hear water running under the floor”

gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?

yes all the time. it even became a running joke with my dentist bc every year id visit and lay down on the chair and my socks wouldn’t be matching

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

don’t think so

ginger: any sideblogs?

yup theyre all in my about

cherry: YouTubers you enjoy watching?

danny gonzalez, emily boo, it’s black friday

wine: do you have a 'type'

punks and metalheads basically

mahogany: your sun, moon, and rising signs

sun: capricorn. i’m not into astrology so idk any of the others

blood: twin beds, queen, or king?

i have a twin but god Damn i would like a big bed

hot pink: did you/do you had/have strong feelings against the color pink?

yeah i used to hate it but i’m accepting it back into my life again

plum: a food you've never tried

shawarma

lilac: dogs, cats, or fish?

dogs

amethyst: do you collect anything?

vinyl and i want to start a lighter collection at some point

mulberry: earbuds or headphones?

headphones

azure: jean jackets?

only if they’re black

teal: have a job?

yup

denim: kill the spider or take it outside?

kill kill kill kill k

sapphire: do you think you can sing well?

perhaps

mint: favourite flavour of gum?

hate gum. shit runs out in like 5mins and then you have to SPIT it back out? disgusting

penny: icecream or cake

ice cream

ash: can you do your own makeup?

yeah

jade: ever written fanfiction?

yeah

grape: how many blogs do you follow?

1459

umber: do you brush your teeth before you eat?

no why would i

chestnut: type of phone you have

refurbished iphone 8

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

skittles

aquamarine: beach or pool

pool

brass: least favorite food condiment

relish. never had it but it looks nasty

mustard: how much sugar in your tea/coffee?

i don’t put sugar in tea but 2 packets for coffee

silver: ever broken a bone?

nope

rose quartz: rings or necklaces

neither really but necklaces

onyx: do you still play Minecraft?

never did

scarlet: favorite holiday

christmas, in theory

apricot: opinion on 3 in 1 body wash/hair wash

bad

platinum: do you follow politics?

yup

magnolia: your Instagram handle?

alice_nchainz

#uberfluss #THIS IS SO MUCH INFORMATION #if you read this congrats you know me pretty well now

2 notes · View notes

nyxdelanuit · 4 years

Text

A Dream In Red Ch6

A03

The early morning light shone in through the feeble blinds on your window. A side-eyed glance to your phone showed that your alarm was set to go off in 15 minutes. With a groan, you rolled out of bed, making a mental note to buy blackout curtains. You decided to make use of the extra time to spruce yourself up. One steamy shower later, and you felt almost human. You lazily swept through your clothes, putting on a cute ensemble and throwing your hair into two messy buns.

A strong knock at your door pulled you from pulling the last few baby hairs into your buns. You opened the door to see Inasa’s shining face. “Y/N! I have brought you breakfast!” You welcomed him into your room with a covered tray. Inasa’s face flushed as he regarded you. “You look very pretty today, Y/N.” He dished out some french toast onto a plate and held it out to you.

“Thank you, Inasa. I woke up a bit early since the sun comes straight in through my window, so I thought I’d look a little nicer today.” You gratefully accepted the plate and began munching on the sweet food. You ate in companionable silence with Inasa, allowing yourself to settle in this still unfamiliar place. You didn’t have any super early classes this morning, so it was nice to not be in such a rush.

As your thoughts drifted, you dipped into Inasa’s thoughts unintentionally. The big man chuckled as he stood, rinsing off his dishes in your sink. “You know, you could ask me what I’m thinking.” Your face seemed to glow bright red as you realized what you had done. “After knowing you for however long, I can tell when you’re in there. It feels a little fuzzy.”

“I’m so sorry Inasa! I really wasn’t meaning to this time!” You quickly stood, wrapping your hands around his large bicep.

“This time?” All the color that gathered in your face drained all at once.

“Whoops?” You offered meekly. Inasa simply laughed. “It’s just easy to read you. It’s like slipping into comfy clothes or something. It’s not like I can really get much out of it at this point… Which reminds me! Fatgum wants me to practice getting into people’s thoughts, I thought it’d be easier if I started with you, since I already kinda know your mind?” Inasa nodded happily, but his face fell a bit after.

“On one condition, Y/N. There are still some things I don’t want you to see. I’m just not ready.” You didn’t know if it was the orange glow of the morning sun, but you thought you saw a blush spreading across Inasa’s cheeks.

“Of course, ‘Nasa.” You briefly wondered what your friend would want to keep hidden from you, but you shook those thoughts away. “Well, shall we get going for the day? Thank you again for the yummy breakfast.” You cheered as you ran to put on your shoes and greet the next day at UA.

Inasa followed your lead, reminding you to lock up before you rushed off. You chatted with Inasa about everything that had happened yesterday, and he told you about all of the classes he had and how friendly everyone was. You took a few moments in the common room of your dorm to wrap up your conversation before heading separate ways for the day.

Kirishima stood in the common room of his dorm, pep-talking Kaminari into actually attending his morning classes. Without Jiro around, it was increasingly hard to keep the blonde’s head on straight. Kaminari whistled quickly, his eyes focused on the stairway across the room. Kirishima followed his eyes and found himself ogling his new found friend. Her hair was tied up into twin buns and Kirishima swore it was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen.

He had been so distracted, he barely registered the blustery man following you through the room until Kaminari pulled him back into reality.

“Ya know, I was thinking about trying to go after Y/N now that Kyouka and I aren’t exactly together… but I seriously doubt I would even have a chance.” Kirishima looked to his friend, shocked.

“What do you mean, bro? You aren’t exactly known to give up that easily.” He was relieved that Kaminari was giving up, but it seemed out of character for the bubbly blonde. Tetsutetsu wandered into their conversation, munching on a protein bar.

“I feel the same way bro,” Tetsutetsu clapped Kaminari on the shoulder, sharing a moment of silence between the two. Kirishima shot them both confused looks.

“Dude, she’s known that dude how long? At least since high school. Yeah, they’re all buddy-buddy, but he’s got the biggest thing for her. It’s super obvious. He bounces her everywhere on his super cool wind powers, knows all of her favorite foods and shit. Logically, he’s prime boyfriend material for Y/N.” Kirishima nodded sadly as Kaminari undressed the poor boy from across the room. “And she’s oblivious! She has no idea, guarantee. And if she doesn’t know after what, 5, 10 years? She’s a mind reader! At that point, you’d have to go out of your way to not know. What chance do we have? Once he grows the balls to ask her out, we’re minced meat in comparison to her longtime friend.” Tetsutetsu quickly nodded along to Kaminari’s explanation, but Kirishima simply laughed at the two of them.

“Well, it wouldn’t be manly if I just gave up, right? At the very least, she’s a cool friend. See ya later, Metalhead, Pikachu.” He threw them a quick wave and sauntered up to you and Inasa.

“Hey, Y/N! We’ve got today’s first class together, right? Ya wanna walk together?” Kirishima’s brightness almost blinded you this early in the morning. You hummed your acceptance and threw your arms around Inasa’s neck.

“I’ll see you later ‘Nasa. Thanks again for breakfast!” You couldn’t tell why, but you were hesitant to clasp onto Kirishima’s hand in front of your friend. It had to be because of your conversation last night. Instead, you slid your arm around Kirishima’s and stepped out of the building.

“So the big man brought you breakfast?” Kirishima questioned, his voice a bit tight. You hummed an affirmation as the two of you walked leisurely towards the lecture buildings.

“I think he was feeling a bit left out last night. It’s been a while since he had any competition for my attention.” You felt a bit bad for your friend as you spoke, “But we hashed it out last night, so I doubt breakfast is going to become a routine thing or anything.”

“So did you guys come from your room? Or his? I mean- I’m not trying to insinuate or anything, I just saw you come down the stairs?” Kirishima started to beat himself up mentally for putting his foot in his mouth. Luckily, you seemed to laugh it away.

“Oh, yeah, it was my dorm room. I’m sure he wasn’t to keen on waiting after my fiasco yesterday. I was almost late to the opening ceremony!” You laughed at yourself, and Kirishima seemed to brighten up even more.

“Cool, we’re in the same dorm! Maybe we could meet up in the common rooms for breakfast and stuff.” You smiled and nodded, reflecting Kirishima’s excited nature.

“Sounds good, that means I’m counting on you to make sure I’m up every morning.” You teased, leaning into the redhead more as he flushed.

“Y-yeah! I can do that!” The stuttering was endearing, but you couldn’t let him distract you any further. You had gotten to your first class for the day, and on time no less! The two of you slipped into a group of empty seats, followed shortly by Kaminari and Mina. You faintly hear Kaminari whispering to Kirishima about how something he did this morning was ‘so boss,’ but Mina quickly distracted you by luring you with stories of the group’s high school fiascoes. Mina explained to you that half of the group took this class after dealing with Bakugou for so long. They had hoped that Controlling Volatile Quirks would be the answers to the prayers they all had since year one at UA.

Thirteen walked into the room, suit and all, and a hush blanketed the class. It was a simple day, no more than introductions and one-on-one time with Thirteen to discuss what you wanted out of the class.

Your turn with Thirteen was nerve-wracking. Unlike your friends, you were looking more for a way to help you with your quirk. “So, Y/N, tell me why you picked this class.” Your new group of friends were failing on being subtle as they listened in.

“Well, I originally found out my quirk by making my nightmares tangible. So, I guess I’m looking for a way to control my quirk when I get emotional, or when I’m waking up.” You wanted to squirm out of your seat. People either disliked your quirk right off of the bat, or they were nervous after learning it slipped out of your control at times. Thirteen on the other hand simply nodded.

“Well, it’s not an easy task, but we can see what we can come up with as far as support items for daily use.” Thirteen put a hand on your shoulder to assuage your nervousness as much as they could, before moving onto the next student.

“Woah, Y/N, your nightmares must be so scary!” Mina jumped in as soon as Thirteen was out of earshot. “I can’t imagine waking up and all the scary stuff still being there.” She shivered visibly.

“Yeah, it sucks.” You weren’t super happy that she was focused on that, but the group wasn’t shying away from you. That was a win in your book.

The class was dismissed for the day, and the group wandered out into an open area on campus. Most of the group, besides Kaminari, had quite a bit of time before your next class. Mina somersaulted onto the grass, Kirishima plopped himself spread-eagle a little bit away, and Kaminari slid in next to Mina before being yanked back by a piece of tape. “One class and you’re already taking my spot.” Sero grinned widely at his friend before dropping him off further from Mina. They all formed a pretty neat circle with a spot carved out for the still missing Bakugou. You anxiously stood beside them, unsure of how you would fit in. Luckily, those thoughts were swept away by Kirishima grabbing your arm and dragging your unsuspecting body between him and Mina.

“There ya go, your spot.” He explained. You grinned back at the redhead, wondering if he was the mind reader instead of you. You leaned back on your arms, enjoying the morning sun as it warmed the ground around you. The chatter of students milling around and your friends relaxed you, and you hoped that every morning would start out this nice.

Kaminari stood a few minutes later, lamenting that he couldn’t stay to enjoy the nice weather. That seemed to break the spell cast over the group, as Mina quickly got to questioning the boys about their classes so far.

“Y/N! Most of your classes are with Kirishima, right?” She cocked her eyebrow at you with a smile.

“Unfortunately, I have a few today without him.” You dramatically threw yourself onto Kirishima’s chest. “Oh how will I cope!” you wailed, soon laughing as Mina squealed at watching you. Kirishima’s face burned, but he didn’t want you to move.

“Oh yeah, Red said you got special work from Fatgum. As far as I know, we all have a few hours off if ya wanna use your mind power on us.” Sero flinched from beside Mina.

“Hey! You can’t just decide for all of us.” He whined, earning a light punch on the shoulder from Mina. Kirishima sat up, causing you to sit up next to him.

“Well, Mina and I are up to it, Y/N!” He pumped his fist and you nodded, scooching yourself in front of him. Mina watched from the side, enthralled. You stared down Kirishima, clearing your mind and allowing your thought to probe into his mind.

His nervousness and excitement snapped on your tongue like bubblegum. You giggled softly, sending a sweet spike through his head. “Okay Kirishima, I’m gonna try to hear your thoughts, so keep em PG!” You winked at the boy, who was suddenly scrambling to think about anything besides how much he liked your eyes.

The grass is really green. How did they get it so green? The sky is really clear today. The boy kept a cycle of thoughts on the weather circling in his head. You strained your powers, seeming to hit a bit of a wall. You focused behind your eyes, imagining a brick wall in his head. You poked and prodded for any openings, any weakness, and you found a hole. The relative silence of his mind fell away to loud iterations of the weather. You gripped at your ears. LOUD.

Kirishima gripped at his ears shortly after. “You didn’t have to yell!” He whined, causing Mina to look between the two of you slyly.

“She didn’t say anything!” Mina let out a big whoop. “Me next, me next! I wanna have secret chats with Y/N too!!” You laughed, turning to the pink girl.

As you probed into Mina’s mind, Kirishima sat, dazed and pondering what repercussions this new breakthrough would have.

Mina’s mind was a bit different defended than Kirishima’s. Kirishima’s was like a brick wall, strong and thick, but susceptible to fall apart if it was thrown together quickly. Mina’s was more like a chain link fence. It was tall but completely passable with time. The two of you would be having truly inside jokes in no time, you could tell.

Sero was even more guarded than the last two. He wasn’t keen on being brought into your experiments, and after some convincing, you assured Mina that it was alright for him to sit it out.

“Okay! Now that I kinda know how to do the whole thought thing, next step is to look into people’s fears… but I think I’ll save that for another time. Breaking into people’s thoughts is tiring work.” You complained, leaning into Kirishima’s side.

Now that you tapped into their thoughts, their emotions came to you easily, almost unbidden. Mina’s satisfaction and Kirishima’s timid happiness flowed into you, warming you much like the sun. The feeling made you sleepy, and you didn’t resist. You softly laid your head on Kirishima’s shoulder and let your eyes fall closed.

Mina looked pointedly at Kirishima, nodding toward your face and waggling her eyebrows. Kirishima put a finger up to her lips and rolled his eyes. As your breaths deepened, Kirishima gently moved your head from his shoulder to his lap, worried you would slip. He focused back on the conversation between Mina and Sero, his hand absentmindedly making circles on your arm.

Mina whispered something to Sero and grinned wildly, mouthing to Kirishima.

‘I SHIP IT.’

#Kirishima Eijirou #kirishima x reader #bnha #mha #bakusquad #nyx writes #adir

3 notes · View notes

eldritchsurveys · 5 years

Text

519.

do you sing in the shower? >> I sure do. do you think money makes people happy? >> I think knowing that your basic needs are cared for contributes greatly to overall well-being. I also think being able to buy a bunch of cool shit that you like can make you feel happy. So, yes, money can make people happy. what’s your relationship status? >> Married in outworld, bonded in inworld. what time is it? >> 7.28p CDT. what emotion are you feeling right now? >> I’m not feeling any emotion right now. I feel pretty good, I guess.

do you have netflix? >> Yes. have you ever traveled outside your home country? >> No. coffee or tea? >> Tea. shower or bath? >> Shower. what’s your favorite pizza topping? >> Usually I get a veggie pizza, because that has the most toppings I enjoy. Pepperoni can be good too (especially if the pepperoni is crispy). what’s something that makes you happy? >> Watching the Addams Family (either the show or the movie). do you have siblings or are you an only child? >> I was raised like an only child, since all my half-siblings were a couple of decades older and therefore didn’t live at home. what’s your favorite instrument? >> The pipe organ is cool. what’s your favorite food? >> I’m not even going to try with this one. what is something you are always losing? >> The ability to give a fuck. are you good at spelling? >> I am. what is one goal you have? >> I haven’t made any lately. did you get a flu shot this year? >> Yes. what’s your favorite Disney movie? >> Lilo & Stitch. are you bored? >> Not right now. what are you listening to? >> Nothing, but the television is on. I’m doing this during commercials, because I hate commercials. what’s your favorite foreign language? >> --- what do you do when you can’t sleep? >> Read, usually. Or browse Reddit. do you like cats or dogs better? >> Dogs, generally. do you have any piercings? >> Septum and ears. what’s your favorite vegetable? >> Not going to try with this one, either. do you eat meat? >> Yes. what’s the best concert you’ve ever been to? >> I’ve been to a lot of amazing shows. what’s your favorite season? >> Autumn and spring. do you still write letters? >> No. what would make you really happy right now? >> I don’t know. what’s your favorite song? >> Turbo Killer by Carpenter Brut is one. are you good at giving advice? >> It’d depend on what I’m being asked for advice about. what’s your favorite hobby? >> I don’t know if I have any hobbies. do you prefer to talk or text? >> Text. what’s your favorite pair of shoes? >> --- how often do you read? (as in books) >> Rather often. Most days a week, I’d say. do you have any pets? >> I personally do not. what’s your favorite day of the week? >> Wednesday. are you in college? >> No. are you/have you ever been in a long distance relationship? >> I have been in them. how do you typically listen to music? >> Through Spotify. do you like going to the beach? >> Yes. did you make any new year’s resolutions? >> No. how old are you? >> 32. do you know anyone who is blind? >> Not fully. who is someone you admire? >> --- do you have a good singing voice? >> It does the job. are your nails painted? >> Yeah. are you an introvert or an extrovert? >> I don’t know, none of that shit really matters to me. what are you having/had for dinner tonight? >> We had dinner at Pere Antoine’s in the Quarter. I had a burger -- well, half of one, because I wanted to save room for pecan pie, lol. do you ever write in a journal? >> Yeah. if you could time travel when/where would you go? >> Meh. what’s your favorite animal? >> Capybaras are cool. what’s your favorite kind of cereal? >> I don’t eat cereal. how was your day? >> It was great. do you ever listen to classical music? >> Sure. what inspires you? >> I don’t know. I don’t ever recall thinking “I feel inspired right now”, so I might not be able to recognise the feeling. do you have a hard time making decisions? >> Not usually. how many pillows do you sleep with? >> Two. how many hours of sleep do you need? >> Between six and eight usually does the trick. do you have big or small feet? >> On the small side. what’s the weather like where you are? >> It was sunny and mild today. It’s chilly now because it’s nighttime (still not as chilly as it is in Grand Rapids, though). what’s the most interesting thing you can see out the window? >> I can’t see anything out of the windows down here on the ground floor of the vacation house, because they’re all frosted for some reason. does/did your high school have a school song? >> I don’t remember. what month is your birthday in? >> May. what’s your dream job? >> --- are you excited for summer? >> I mean, autumn just started, so the winter ennui hasn’t set in. Ask me again in 3 months. what foreign country would you want to live in for 6 months? >> What foreign country wouldn’t I want to live in for six months? did you have to go to school today? >> No, because I don’t go to school period. win a million $$ or never have to pay for anything again? >> Hmm. do you throw coins into fountains? >> No. do you have a trampoline? >> No. what’s your favorite song lyric? >> --- what did you eat the last time you went to the movies? >> I didn’t eat anything. I drank a french toast stout I’d sneaked in, lol. do you ever measure time in songs? >> Yeah, I do that a lot. do you know how to play chess? >> I don’t even know how the pieces work. what’s your favorite game? (any type) >> I play too many games to have a favourite. do you enjoy traveling? >> Yeah. The process of travelling can be obnoxious and boring, but I like going to different places. do you tend to wait til the last minute? >> It’s not a tendency of mine, no. have you ever owned a goldfish? >> No. how do you relieve stress? >> Talk to Can Calah, cuddle with King Crimson, lay under my weighted blanket and listen to music and play a phone game, watch a show or movie, that sort of thing. without looking it up, guess the outside temperature? >> I’m going to say low sixties. now look it up - how close were you? >> 69*F, so I was a little off. do you prefer digital or analog clocks/watches? >> As long as I can read it, I don’t care. do you prefer to shop in stores or online? >> I prefer to shop in stores when it comes to clothing, but I don’t care much when it comes to other things. do you enjoy coloring? >> Yeah, I do. do you like to dance? >> Yeah. have you ever owned a horse? >> No. do you take selfies? >> I rarely take them nowadays. do you ever listen to music in languages besides English? >> I sure do. have you ever cried from listening to a song? >> Yeah. what’s your favorite song from a movie? >> Death is the Road to Awe by Clint Mansell for The Fountain is one. do you prefer headphones or earbuds? >> Headphones. who was your favorite music artist when you were 10? >> I have no idea. when was the last time you had to go to the dentist? >> It’s been a couple of years. I do need to go again, but I have to wait until I get some insurance. can you speak Spanish? >> Not fluently. what’s the last thing you watched on youtube? >> I don’t remember. now what time is it? >> 8.20p CDT (I’m only doing this during commercials, like I said, so it’s taking me a while lol). do you ever watch musicals? >> Yeah, I like them. do you know anyone who’s a twin? >> No. do you ever get carsick? >> No. what’s your opinion on wolves? >> I love wolves, they’re the best. when you’re sad do you prefer sad music or happy music? >> I prefer music that’s familiar, is all. The mood of the music itself doesn’t matter. do you like seafood? >> Yes indeed. do you enjoy going to the zoo? >> Yes. are there any celebrities from your hometown? >> It’s highly likely, but I don’t know who. do you shower in the morning or at night? >> In the morning. do you prefer to work alone or in a group? >> I guess it depends on the activity and whether I have a good group or not. do you go to the gym alone or with a friend? >> --- do you like coconut? >> I do. who is someone you’re jealous of? >> --- what’s your favorite place to go out for breakfast? >> --- do you still have your christmas tree up? >> No. do you have a favorite type of bird? >> Corvids, definitely. have you ever had an overnight flight anywhere? >> No. don’t you hate it when you hear a song that’s familiar but you can’t remember what it is/how you know it? >> Yeah, that’s so aggravating. if you use them, tell me 5 of your recently used emojis >> --- do you know anyone that plays the violin? >> Not that I know of. how much money is in your wallet right now? >> The only cash I have is a $20. anything you’re looking forward to tomorrow? >> I have no idea what we’re doing tomorrow, but I’m sure it’ll be a good time. have you ever auditioned for anything? >> No. did you have a webkinz when you were younger? >> No. how would you describe your aesthetic? >> Lazy/broke goth metalhead. have you ever been told you look like a celebrity? >> Yeah. when was the last time you rode a bus? >> Last week. if you saw $50 on the ground what would you do? >> Take it. do you know how to play any unusual instruments? >> No. are you an early bird or a night owl? >> I don’t think I’m either, really. have you ever had trouble understanding someone because of an accent? >> Yeah. do you ever go to Massachusetts? >> No. do you personally know anyone who is transgender? >> I know quite a few people who are transgender, including myself. what was the most memorable rainbow you’ve ever seen? (if any) >> I haven’t seen any that were particularly special. do you remember anything from when you were 5 or younger? >> Vaguely. do you need to do laundry? >> Yeah. do you know anyone (including yourself) who actually enjoys math? >> I’m pretty sure I know someone who enjoys maths. I think it’s pretty cool, I guess. do you have a favorite poem? >> Ozymandias is one. if you were from somewhere else, would you visit your town on vacation? >> There is literally no reason I’d want to visit Grand Rapids. I don’t understand how it has tourism at all. where would you spend $100 if you had to spend it all in one store? >> Probably Meijer or another big-box department store like that. Or maybe World Market. Or Horrock’s! would you rather go to Japan or Greece? >> Either would do fine. now what song are you listening to? >> --- what are you wearing right now? >> Lounge pants with aliens on them and a Dark Tower t-shirt. any fun plans for the weekend? >> This coming Saturday is the day we return home, and Sunday we’ll probably just veg out at home and recuperate a bit. It will definitely be fun to be back in my own room again -- oh, and I will probably buy The Outer Worlds and start playing that, so that will definitely be fun.

#surveys #survey #random survey

2 notes · View notes

todaysbiggesthits · 5 years

Text

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2018:

Nasty: Hearing Red Eyes live. I've already said it on TBH, but seeing your favorite band in their relative prime is such a cool thing.

BC: Since partying all night with my favorite band fell within the short window between Bestuv '17 ending and Bestuv '18 beginning, I'd have to say:

1. Kacey Musgrave's performance of "Slow Burn" on SNL

youtube

2. Radiohead perfectly executing "There There" which transported me back to Lollapalooza in '08 3. Despite the annoyance of sitting in lots of Indy500 traffic due to a new parking situation, I quite enjoyed working through half of the Stones' catalogue with Bronco riding shotgun and Codemin listening in from the flatbed of Dillon's pickup

Codem: Spending what was New Year's Eve for the central timezone in the USA at a Fijian medical bath facility listening to music, playing cards, downing tequeel and getting ringworm with my blushing bride. -hearing peter hook play the bass line from shadowplay live and in person. -Arden, JD and JJ encouraging me to go talk to Kyle from Swearin'. -Silver Jews and Westing (By Musket and Sextant) came to Spotify. -Watching "Random Rules" video for the first time

youtube

Larse: Sitting behind this massive (I mean orca fat) guy at the CHVRCHES show, feeling really bad for him before the show started because he was all alone and kept looking around and worrying about letting people in his row and things. As soon as CHVRCHES came on though, this guy was exactly where he was supposed to be that night. Sang the words and danced to every song and just made my day with how happy he was to be there. Jotted down every song of the setlist into his smartphone and just had an all around great time. And some of you motherfuckers won't even go to a movie by yourself!

JD: May: A moody Chinatown stroll with the new Grouper album in the rain. July: Soaking up some good tunes at the housewarming party to ring in our new pad. July: Some hilariously rambunctious youths having at it when “House of Jealous Lovers” came on during a full play of Compilation 1 at the DFA summer party. One of them (who must have been ~8 in the bygone days of 02) screamed out “this is the song that started it all!” to a crowd of stationary gawkers and I felt a brief moment of hope for the youngs. August: Shaking a leg at Pete’s wedding (also featuring a delightful hojl spin). September: A rowdy spin of “Sentient Oona” on the Levee juke with an impromptu digital jukebox dance party at the Turkey’s Nest with jj’s cousin and his lovely girlfriend. October: The best music cue I’ve ever seen at the end of Beau Travail.

Bronco: Taking John to his first concert, and that first concert was Mastodon. That was pretty awesome to be able to share that experience with him. He was super into it, and so were the metalheads at the show. "Dad of the Year" was definitely shouted more than a few times, and I thought to myself, "fuckin-A right."

Chap: My kids saying "Papa" when "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals comes on.

Best Shows Seen in 2018:

C: Open Mike Eagle at Pitchfork

Bronco: Sleep

Laser: CHVRCHES at Riverside Theater; Chromeo at Summerfest

BC: The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Radiohead

Nasty: The War on Drugs.

Code: kraus - schubas peter hook - metro no age - the bottle swearin' - bowery eleanor friedberger - lincoln hall my bloody valentine - aragon "quickly climbing the ranks of my nice" ballroom kraus - the bottle pictureplane - bottom lounge soft moon - the bottle book of love - chop shop

JD: 1. Shame at Market Hotel 2. Hamilton Leithauser at the Carlyle Hotel 3. Beach House at United Palace Theater 4. The Voidz at Elsewhere 5. Parquet Courts’ Wide Awake! mid-day album release show with my morning coffee at Rough Trade

youtube

6. Flasher at St. Vitus 7. Deafheaven at Brooklyn Steel 8. Panda Bear at Brooklyn Steel 9. No Age at Brooklyn Bazaar 10. CCFX at the DFA summer party at Elsewhere with my girlfriend in full blown rem sleep standing up with her head on my shoulder 11. Alex Cameron at Warsaw 12. Gang Gang Dance and Interpol at House of Vans Of note: Dekkar at On Cinema Live at the Bell House.

Confession of 2018:

JD: I have a real TBH confession that I held until now. I was thoroughly enjoying the Flasher album on a recent evening after a few too many drinks when a burning urge to see them washed over me. They had a show coming up at a bar just a few blocks from my apartment, so I enthusiastically snapped up tickets for me and jj. Thinking this might be a good opportunity for a TBH outing, I emailed Chap trying to peer pressure him into attending the Flasher show and gauging his interest in a Parquet Courts concert that would be happening the following evening. No response.

We later received an invitation to a holiday cocktail party at a friend’s apartment on the same night as the Flasher show, and I hatched a cockamamie scheme to go from our home in Greenpoint to the party in Soho, leave after an hour to catch the concert back in Greenpoint, head back to the party in Soho, and finally retire back to Greenpoint. JJ wisely passed on such a scheme and I left the party to trek off to the concert solo with an extra ticket in tow.

Awash in good cheer and excitement while Flasher set up, I thought what the hell, might as well take a flier on reminding Chap of the show. Maybe the twins are asleep, he’s just sitting around, can jump into a cab, claim the extra ticket, watch the show, and cruise on back. Mid-text I paused, wondering just why he never responded to the initial email weeks ago. A quick gmail search, and there sat my drunkenly composed beseechment to join, rotting in the drafts folder unsent.

A couple of the dudes from Parquet Courts were bouncing around the bar, and I decided it would make more sense to hit up Chap about attending their show the next day than explain the whole snafu and extend a ludicrous invitation that required dropping everything and leaving immediately for a show he didn’t even know was happening. I ate the extra ticket, had a blast watching Flasher, zipped back to the party, drank myself into oblivion, and was way too hung over to even consider the Parquet Courts show the next day. NICK SORRY NICK! (editor’s note: too long)

Larson: I saw Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

BC: My neighbor invited me to see Imagine Dragons. I lied and said I had to travel for work. "On a Saturdee?" he inquired. "Yeah. Totally sucks," I awkwardly replied. I hid inside my house all weekend.

Bronco: I'd rather see shows by myself than with my buddy. He likes going to shows, and I keep inviting him, and we have a fine time, but he doesn't live in town anymore, so I gotta worry about him drinking too much and driving an hour home. And his wife is a psychopath and that complicates shit. Too much. And it's just so much more freeing being able to not give a fuck about anyone else during that time, to just soak it all in, it feels good and right.

Codem: -despite all of the bad things that kanye said, i still liked listening to his catalogue throughout the year. i even liked his EP that came out in 2018. -i really liked the beach house album! -i liked the snail mail album, skipped two opportunities to see her and then by --the end of the year, i thought the album was sort of boring. -Arden and i went to see pictureplane open for alice glass and thought that the show sucked and pictureplane played such stupid songs. three months later, he put out my favorite album of the year and i can't stop thinking that i hated all of the same songs the first time i heard them. -i read an article on a bright fall saturday morning that exhaustively detailed the Cardi B and Nicki Minaj feud and i watched all of the instagram story clips that showed Cardi B scrolling through her phone with those outlandish nails of hers. it took me two cups of coffee to get through it all, but get through it i did. [i couldn't think of nicki minaj's name just now so i stared at the ceiling and kept running through names in my mind's eye: missy, kim, cardi, kelis, kim??, eve, trina. i couldn't remember. so i finally googled "kanye monster" and found her name. easy.]

Nasty: I'm done with new music. It’s over. I didn't listen to a single new album - I don't even know if I could name a new album. Realistically, I did like Daytona.

Biggest Disappointment of 2018:

Nasty: MAGA Kanye

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Bronco: Black Tusk, Alice in Chains

BC: Getting into The Orwells literally two days before #MeToo chewed 'em up and spit 'em out

Chap: Car Seat Headrest. Can't believe he's gay! jk the album was the disappointment.

Code: -somebody hacked my spotify account and wiped all of my music and replaced it with raggaeton and halsey. i was able to get my music back, but i lost all of my meticulously cared for folder structure. -i wanted the simple minds album to be cool; it was not. -i wanted the swearin' album to be really great; it was okay. -pictureplane and ovlov did not tour their albums. -i had to eat two tickets to my bloody valentine after buying four. the original show sold out and i thought i was going to be able to sell my extras for a profit -- they ended up announcing a second show and there was no secondary market for the original show. -no CCFX followup ):

JD: Got to Hammerstein Ballroom for MBV and there was a line longer than an entire avenue. They were already on by the time we made it into the heinously oversold venue and we were stuck by the bar in the lobby surrounded by people constantly shouting in an effort to compete with the apocalyptic noise.

C: Terrible sound at Tame Impala show

Most Overrated of 2018:

Code: -probably that kacey musgraves album; i got absolutely nothing out of it. also, i liked the robyn album, but i wanted to love it after many years between releases. i think i'm just being greedy. -i'm going to get killed for this, but the throwing the baby out with the bathwater approach to artists' criminal behavior or inflammatory tweets is pretty overrated right now.

Bronco: Ghost - I like their schtick, with rotating members and the whole inverted church thing. It's campy but they're sticking to it, and that's fine, but their music isn't metal. It's poppy glam shit about the devil, and that's also fine, but I don't get why it's on anyone's list. Production value maybe? But the music itself isn't anything to write home about. I just don't get it.

JD: n/a. The thick layer of nonsensical, Pynchonian obfuscation the platform economy dollops over everything has made it impossible to understand how anything is rated. Almost feel bad for the click driven publications that have to just throw out a guess.

C: Mitski

Chap: Snail Mail

BC: Kanye. His new music is no longer good enough to put up with his bufoonery.

Laser: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Nasty: Clemson. GOARSH.

Make It Stop 2018:

Nasty: DJT, anytime now.

Bronco: Party politics. No more labels allowed. You can have a list of stuff you support and a list of stuff you are against, but that's fucking it. No more this side vs that side for reasons as caddy as an R vs. a D. Also religion having any influence whatsoever in the way our country is run. Believe whatever you want to believe, but don't force your bullshit on anyone else. You want to torment yourself with a lifelong christian guilt trip, that's your boat to float, but don't go poking holes in my boat just because you're a miserable fuck. Just stop. Also, Jack White.

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Chap: Baby Shark

BC: My shrinking attention span

JD: The cultural currency of clapbacks, shade, and tea.

Code: trap music playing from a phone's external speaker while i'm trapped on public transportation. i'm going to go broke buying enough earbuds to distribute to these offenders.

Biggest TBH Regret of 2018:

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

C: Not seeing Low at a church on University of Chicago's Campus

JD: -Hearing about a Grouper show at a church around the corner from my pad after it sold out. -Not necessarily a regret because I didn’t know it was happening, but oh how I wish I had seen Jon Glaser and Jon Benjamin as Dave Farina and Dave Franz, Dennis and Dennis’ sons, at a Bowery Ballroom Yo La Tengo show.

BC: -I wish I would've cooked up a way to see Shame play a midnight show in Bloomington. I just want that kid to scream "Concrete" in my face. -I probably should've seen Smashing Pumpkins when they rolled through town too.

Code: my flight got delayed and i missed the swearin' show at that place in brooklyn that "smelled like hot fish"

Bronco: Not a regret so much as I was super-bummed when High on Fire dropped out of the tour I saw in November. The venue we were at put my buddy and I right next to the stage. It would've been crazy awesome to see HOF there, but they've rescheduled at least, and I'll see them in January.

Bin: I haven't listened to any Kanye this year. I thought it would feel gratifying by year end - it doesn't. I'll probably still avoid this most recent album, but I'm going back to the well. I'll continue to talk shit about him though. Take that Ye!

Chap: No regrets

Detective Murtaugh of 2018:

Larse: Getting too old to keep up with all of this new music and put a worthwhile list together at the end of the year…

Nasty:

youtube

Code: i added book of love show to my top ten concert list because Arden and i were able to take a seat on the ground in the balcony section. we had to continually move our spot on the floor to be able to peer through the railing and a mass of bodies in order to catch a glimpse of the stage.

JD: -Two of my favorite music related experiences of the year were seeing Hamilton Leithauser in the cafe of the Carlyle Hotel and the extended Niles family in The Nutcracker at the NYC Ballet. -When I googled “Detective Murtaugh” just now it was mostly pictures of Damon Wayans (Jr. no less!) playing the role on the Lethal Weapon CBS series.

Bronco: Putting up with shit instead of speaking up about it. There's room on the train but I'm squished by the door because some self-absorbed dinks won't move in? "Could you please move in?" It sounds so simple, but breaking that silence barrier was a scary thing. Now I don't give a shit. I'm on train for two stops, and I'm not going to see you again, so fuck you, move in or I'm going to move myself in and it aint gonna be pleasant for you.

Chap: A hipster female barber said I was a silver fox. AYFKM?

BC: What the hell is Fortnite?

Resolution for 2018 Update:

Larse: get my list in on time! How it went: probably horseshit! (editor’s note: it was early yet!)

NACK: While I didn’t have the occasion to catch shows this year, I anticipate doing so in '18 due to some changes afoot. How it went: Joe Dons has yet to let me know of a concert going on and I have no other friends here, so I blame him for my failure

Bin: I’m just going to keep saying “get to NY for a show with JD” until I make it happen. How it went: Didn't get to NY for a show with JD.

JD: See you gents more often with or without a show attached. How it went: Fairly decent, but is it really ever enough?

Bronco: Get in shape. I want to stick to a schedule of running all year round. I ran a 10K back in June, then needed to recover for a bit, been recovering ever since…Fat Dad needs to keep running all year round without excuse, especially given that we go skiing between Xmas and New Year’s and I’m gonna be a floppy legged mess. During those runs, I’ll try to listen to new material each time. How it went: I ran a 5-miler in May. Haven't run since. Though I have been reasonably consistent with my prison workout (situps and pushups before bed time), so now there's a hint of muscle under my fat dad layer. Just gotta combine the two now somehow.

Code: make more playlists for my wife How it went: i said that i was going to make more mixes for my wife. i made one year-end mix for her and i'm sure she's loving it :*

BC: No more resolutions How it went: 2018 Resolution was "No More Resolutions," so pretty darn good!

Resolution for 2019:

Laser: ---

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it.

Bronco: Read more 'classic' books. I didn't read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I'm leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics'. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I'm feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert

Nasty: I'm sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year.

Most Anticipated of 2019:

Bronco: Tool. Fifth year's the charm. I'm actually hopeful this time around. In fact, I half expect them to drop it on New Year's Eve or something, just so it's post Listicle season, but not quite 2019 so it can't end up on those lists either. They're such dicks like that.

BC: Still waitin' on dat Vampire Weekend yet

Chap: Vampire Weekend, Chromatics

C: Lin Manuel in Mary Poppins... I kid, My Bloody Valentine

JD: Going to put Frank Ocean out into the universe, MBV take 2, Grimes, Panda Bear, Kanye’s escape from the Black Lodge

Codem: chromatics - tommy, MBV, washer, colleen green, EMA(?), DoM

Laser: no idea what's even on the docket

Nasty: Mueller's Report

4 notes · View notes