@mslangermann is typing for awhile and not showing him much. After a series of short clicks she asks him about how much he weighs, an immediate inkling of suspicion showing on his face. She has never cared for any of his personal details, he doubts there is any good reason she would want them now. “Why?” She ignores him, giving him a stern look up and down, next asking his height. “I dunno woman, around 6 foot, why?!” Resolute in not responding, there is only a longer series of clicks and key taps. Severen is about to interrupt her when she asks him for a credit card. “What the fuck you need one’a them for? What are you doin’?!” Finally, he turns the laptop so he can see the screen. “What do pirates gotta do with this? And what are you buying for $724?” She only demands the card again, but Severen has hit his limit of secrecy. Frustrated, he stands up and walks into her kitchen to rummage her fridge. If she is going to continue to be irritating, so will he.

Tony was used to how humans reacted around him when he displayed what he was. Despite the fact supernatural creatures had lived alongside humans for centuries now instinct just couldn't be helped when it came vampires. They were predators after all. The thing is even though he's really young for a vampire (he hasn't even stopped aging yet) Tony had figured out all the reactions he would usually get. Humans were consistent creatures after all. Which is why his new roommate's reactions were so confusing. He never tried to make excuses to not be around Tony when ever he had to fed. Hell he often seemed to deliberately try and stay in their room whenever Tony went to get a blood bag from his fridge. Peter was just a conundrum to Tony. Peter's heart rate went up whenever he showed his vampiric nature, like any humans, but what else goes on with him just doesn't make sense to Tony. Pete seemed to blush at the merest hint of fang and bit his lip whenever Tony needed to use his vampiric strength. If he didn't know better he'd swear that Peter was getting aroused by him. But that wasn't right humans couldn't get over vampire being their predators. Couldn't they?

Modern fantasy au with vampire!Tony used to scaring humans meeting human peter who's attracted to him for anon

Been re-reading (well, actually listening it's an audiobook) Carpe Jugulum for the first time since high school and the vampires are talking and:

"Yes, lovely people. Do you remember Mr. and Mrs. Harker?"

"Quite lovely. They lasted nearly all week."

godDAMMIT Terry

are there any good vampire media set not during either modern day or during victorian era england

I can't tell you how much I don't care about age gap discourse. I don't care that he's 700 years old and she's 17! if it's not something you could criticize in real life then I don't care! I. don't. care!

blah blah blah, chrysi bringing jacks back wrong and all that. what about jacks bringing chrysi back wrong?

forgot to post him yesterday OOPS HAVE MY VAMPIRE SON CORBIN ROOK RAVENWOOD-BLOODSWORTH he hunts DEMONS and also tries to be a good older brother!

Honestly I’ve found that the hardest part of writing for me is just coming up with pet names between couples?

Everything I try sounds so awkward or clunky and when I look up lists online for help it’s like:

“Mac-daddy

Bubble butt

Honey-pie

Cutie patootie”

And I just

reaching hitherto unknown heights of insufferableness (becoming a vampire weekend fan)

@butscrewmefirst clicks on a video with a catchy little intro.

Severen watched the scene play out without much interest, wondering if he is supposed to appreciate the overly bland acting. As the woman bends over into the dryer, in an obviously provocative pose, she wails cartoonishly about being stuck. His eyes narrow in confusion. There seems to be plenty of room to him, what could she possibly be on about?

A man, who she claims is of some relation to her, wanders over to help. The immortal’s suspicion grows as the man begins to “assist” her in a manner both unhelpful and lewd. Severen leans back in the chair, rolling his eyes as heavy bass music starts to play, the couple soon unclothed and in coitus. “Is this it?” He looks up bored, “I read paperbacks racier ‘an this”.

NEW TAGS UPDATE: PART II!

https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/708949395923763200/theheadlessgroom-beatingheart-bride

@beatingheart-bride

At her compliment, an uncharacteristically strangled-sounding squeak came out of Randall’s throat, and he resisted the urge to throw his hands up over his masked face and curl up into a ball, reminding himself that his bright red face was still hidden from her-yet still, he felt the urge to hide his flustered reaction, instead casting his eyes down at the attic floor to avoid looking at her.

Really? he thought to himself in silent amazement. She really thinks that I would be good company? That any woman would be lucky to have me for a date? It was extremely hard for him to fathom, and there was that angry, bitter little part of himself that doubted it, angrily even, that voice lashing out in his head, yelling in his mind Don’t you lie to me! No woman in her right mind would want to be seen out in public with me! Who on Earth would want to be seen with someone like me?

But Randal quelled this voice as best he could, trying not to let those nagging insecurities eat him up from the inside out (at least, anymore than they already were) and instead trust in Emily’s words. She wouldn’t lie to him, no, he knew in his heart of hearts that she was being honest when she said this-just as he was! He consoled himself with this fact, as he managed to smile for her, saying, in a tiny voice, “Th-Thank you, E-Emily...I-I really do mean it when I say anyone would b-be lucky to go out o-on the town with you!”

And they would! She was a charming conversationalist, she was polite to all she met, she had the sweetest laugh he’d ever heard, she made you feel as if you were the only person in the world when you were with her...all of this Randall himself could attest to, thanks to the time spent together, and so he felt very confident in telling her this-she would be wonderful company, because, to him, she was wonderful.

The Vampire Armand? More like the Shitposter Armand

verses

♕ ┊ v. young prince ┊ ❛ all grown ups were once children ❜ ♕ ┊ v. trilogy ┊ ❛ the crown prince of ravka ❜ ♕ ┊ v. kos ┊ ❛ you are my most trusted advisor ❜ ♕ ┊ v. ketterdam ┊ ❛ no mourners ; no funerals ❜ ♕ ┊ v. privateers ┊ ❛ and we could be pirates ❜ ♕ ┊ v. nichevo'ya ┊ ❛ a creature wrought from shadow ❜

-

♕ ┊ v. modern ┊ ❛ don't you know that the kids aren't all right? ❜ ♕ ┊ v. alt. modern ┊ ❛ i don't like violence. i'm a businessman. ❜ ♕ ┊ v. immortal ┊ ❛ we could stay young forever ❜ ♕ ┊ v. football ┊ ❛ famous for being almost famous ❜ ♕ ┊ v. regency ┊ ❛ heirs have the responsibility ❜ ♕ ┊ v. demigod ┊ ❛ you take what you can get ; and you make the most of it ❜ ♕ ┊ v. opposites attract ┊ ❛ a rat and his prince ❜ ♕ ┊ v. modern royal ┊ ❛ let me be your ruler ❜ ♕ ┊ v. pirates ┊ ❛ it's the age of princes and pirate ships ❜ ♕ ┊ v. vampire ┊ ❛ ordinary people who just happen to consume blood ❜ ♕ ┊ v. pirates ┊ ❛ it's the age of princes and pirate ships ❜ ♕ ┊ v. mermaid ┊ ❛ walking is just like swimming ❜ ♕ ┊ v. hollywood ┊ ❛ i once was poison ivy; but now i'm your daisy ❜

the way i cycle through obsessive excitement and utter despair every time i get new information about show!louis is honestly the most emotionally taxing ordeal.....and the show hasn’t even come out yet

Past and Future

Makenna leaned her head against the painted brick next to the table in the small closet they called the break room. She picked at the bacon cheeseburger Bull made her—with extra ketchup, pickles, and tomatoes—crumbling the corner of bacon in her finger and popping it into her mouth. While she knew she needed to eat, her appetite had worn away to nothing.

“That bad?” Bull asked from the doorway, his hulking frame blocking the light from the kitchen.

She sighed. “His lawyers said we didn’t make an effort to mediate about the assets, which is such bullshit.” She wiped her greasy fingers on the thin napkin. “Mythal sent them faxes that they ignored and now they’re pretending they didn’t get anything just to tie it up in court even longer.”

“What a dick.”

“Tell me about it. The judge delayed the hearing until we can set up mediation.” Makenna pressed her fingers to her temples. “I just want this to be over. I want to move on with my life.”

Bull patted her shoulder. “It will be.” He pointed to the burger and fries. “I know you’re feeling like shit, but you need to make sure you eat. Dorian will never let me hear the end of it if I let you collapse on me.”

She chuckled. “You two have gotten awful close. Dare I say this is serious?”

“I’d like to think so. What about you and your group of paramours I’ve heard about?”

“You make it sound like I’m collecting them.”

“You kind of are.” He held up his hands before she could protest. “Not that I’m judging. I’ve been in my fair of those relationships and they’re hard work, but nothing wrong with loving and being loved. I—and Dorian—don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I don’t either,” she said. “And I don’t think they want to hurt me. If it doesn’t last, it doesn’t, but I don’t see myself regretting this.”

Read on AO3