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adenei · 3 years

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Auror 99 - Ch. 13

A/N: Well, folks, there you have it! This wild ride is wrapping up, and even though there was a point in time where I had no idea where it was headed, it all somehow seemed to come together. I hope you’ve enjoyed it, and I want to thank you all for your comments - it’s really helped fuel my motivation for this story!!

I will neither confirm or deny the possibility of an epilogue

AO3 || FFN

A Chilling End

Hermione heard the elevator ding as she checked her watch. 10:30 precisely. The doors opened and she entered the floor of the 99th precinct, looking around for familiar faces. Well, that’s odd, I thought everyone would be at their desks, Hermione thought to herself.

She’d received confirmation that Jake and Charles had finished interrogating Gerteso around ten, and then they should have made the switch with Kingsley, Harry and Ron a half hour ago. Even Amy was supposed to be back by now, but the only person on the team sitting at their desk was Rosa.

The plan was for Jake and Charles to swap with the three wizards and return to their desks to continue the paperwork Rosa had started last night. To keep up pretenses, the 99 couldn’t hang around when Harry and Ron revealed Gerteso to Martini, since they ‘didn’t know’ magic was real. They decided not to risk it because who knew what conversation would transpire, since the hope was for Gerteso to rat his brother out and give away details of his role as The Cryptic. Amy was supposed to be accompanying Holt, who was leading Martini and two of his associates around the precinct. Even Amy was supposed to excuse herself for another case to return to her desk, since Holt was supposed to be the only member who knew the true identities of the British team.

Since Hermione was not an Auror, she agreed to stay behind and get a head start on packing their things, only making her appearance when things were wrapping up so they could all debrief. Something’s off, she thought as she quickly made her way over to Rosa’s desk.

Rosa looked up when Hermione sat down on the spare seat next to her desk. “Good, you’re here,” she said in a low voice.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” Hermione asked for confirmation.

Rosa nodded. “They normally pat everyone down when they get here, so something must have been concealing their sticks.” Rosa knew better than to use the word ‘wand’ just in case there were listening ears. Hermione supposed sticks could be loosely termed to indicate a weapon, so the cover was decent. “They’re definitely armed, and I saw the two idiots Martini brought with him give each other a weird look.”

Hermione took in Rosa’s words as her brain was whirring faster than ever. “This was supposed to be an ordinary visit. Of course they’d still come armed, but how could they know. Things have been tight lipped. Unless…” Hermione looked up at Rosa.

“They’d been tipped off. Smells like a dirty cop on your end,” Rosa confirmed Hermione’s thinking.

“We need to go help them!” Hermione said quickly.

“On it.” Rosa was already standing and placing her gun in her holster.

Terry looked up from his desk. “Everything alright?” he asked, giving them an odd look.

“All good, Sarge. Just keep everyone here.” Rosa gave him a look and he knew she meant business as he gave a curt nod in response.

Luckily, it was fairly quiet. Gina was too self involved with her phone and Hitchcock and Scully were in the breakroom eating their mid-morning meal. Rosa and Hermione hurried down the hall, and were about to turn down the hallway to the breakroom when Rosa froze and held out her hand.

Ron, Harry and Kingsley were ahead of them and just now entered the survey room. Rosa didn’t want to give them away yet, in case they were the only backup. Hermione cast a silent concealment charm over the hallway, so no one else would have a clue what was going on, and a muggle repelling charm on the other side of themselves. They inched closer to see what was going on.

“Ah, you’ve finally arrived. I’m not sure what took you so long,” they heard a deep baritone voice purr, no doubt it was Martini.

Hermione immediately placed an anti-apparition charm around the entire floor. They needed to find a way to see inside. She was trying to think desperately of a plan to find out just what they were up against.

“Now, I know my brother’s in there, but none of these No-maj pigs seems to have the key. So, I’m going to need you to go in there and get them, or they die.”

Oh, Merlin, this is not good. Not good. Hermione felt Rosa nudge her with her elbow and nodded toward the end of the hallway. There was one of those corner mirrors hanging up. Hermione nodded at Rosa’s idea.

She could hear Kingsley trying to talk to and reason with Martini. Asking why one of his men couldn’t open it instead. As much as Hermione desperately wanted to hear what Martini was going to say, she knew she needed to put a sound barrier up briefly so they wouldn’t hear the commotion of her summoning the mirror off the wall.

As she cast the charm, the mirror broke from its mount in the corner and came flying at them, she controlled it’s speed and stopped it just before it could be seen by any of the room’s inhabitants. Hermione hovered the mirror closer and closer until she got a clear view of what was going on inside the room, and then stuck it to the wall.

She made her observations and then said to Rosa, “There are four men in there. Do you know where the other two came from?” Rosa shook her head. “Each one has the 99 team at wand point, including Holt. Kingsley, Harry, and Ron all have their hands up, and I don’t see their wands anywhere.” Rosa nodded and Hermione lifted the sound barrier charm. They were both studying the mirror now.

“...clearly you have someone working for you in MACUSA,” they heard Kingsley say.

“You’re a bright one, aren’t you,” Martini scoffed.

Hermione looked at Rosa. “They haven’t surrendered their wands, yet,” she whispered, realizing this after she’d checked the floor and the hands of Martini’s team. Quickly, she dug into her pocket and pulled out the coin. “Harry and Ron both have theirs, I made sure of it.”

“What are you going to send?” Rosa asked.

“I’ll send ‘we’re here,’ but they won’t read it. They should feel it heat up and know. We’ll give it about thirty seconds after it’s sent. Do you have a clear shot of his men?” Hermione was speaking quickly and in a hushed voice. They were running out of time.

“Yeah, I’ll take the left.”

Hermione nodded as she sent the message. She shoved the coin back in her pocket and drew her wand. They waited another twenty seconds before Hermione whispered, “Now!”

What happened next was a blur. Rosa managed to shoot two of the men holding her team hostage in the legs, Hermione stunned the other two, and now Harry and Ron both had Martini at wand point. The tables had turned in an instant.

Hermione cast Disarming charms and had collected all five of the wizard’s wands. Kingsley was pulling more cuffs out of his robes. Just as they were about to cuff everyone, they heard a haunting chuckle come from Martini.

“Ah, did you really think I’d give in this easily? Granted, I wasn’t expecting those two harlots to come barging in and ruining everything, but still..”

Hermione stopped listening to his soliloquy. She knew he couldn’t apparate, try as he might, so she did a quick homenum revelio. There were fourteen in the room, which checked out. She turned her wand to the hall, where she revealed one person. She stepped back enough to see the mirror out of the corner of her eye, and saw someone approaching. The person had chosen that moment to turn and make sure no one was following and Hermione acted without thinking. With speed she didn’t even know she still possessed, she took one step in the hall and shot a stunning spell, hitting the man square in the back. Hermione then disarmed the man.

“Well done, Charlotte,” Kingsley said. Harry and Ron both looked surprised and impressed at Hermione’s quick thinking as Kingsley handed her another set of cuffs.

“Thank you, sir,” Hermione said as she looked at Rosa. “Cover me?”

Rosa nodded as they went into the hall. Hermione triple checked to make sure absolutely no one else was going to try and save Martini, and once she was satisfied they were clear, she approached the man and cuffed him. She set the counter spell for the stun as Rosa dragged him off the ground and into the already cramped survey room.

“Stanley?” Kingsley asked. He was clearly surprised.

The man simply scowled at them as Kingsley rounded on Martini. His former Auror training was now coming out in full force. “Is anyone else in MACUSA feeding you information or protecting you?” Martini’s cuffs had already turned that same bright blue as Gerteso’s had the day before. They couldn’t take any chances.

The look on Martini’s face mirrored the same reaction Gerteso had given. He wanted to say no, but instead found himself listing off four more names within MACUSA. Kingsley scribbled them down on some paper he found at the desk. He stuffed the paper in his robes and then conjured a patronus to send a message.

As the lynx sprinted away, Kingsley turned to Harry and Ron. “We’re going to take these five to MACUSA first. I’ve just sent word to the President, and I know that he will deal with them appropriately. He is as trustworthy as they come.” He turned to Hermione next. “You know what you need to do before we come back.” She nodded slightly.

Holt stepped forward. The detectives had done a decent job in playing the shocked muggle role until that point. “I will wait with Martini in the hall for your return.” Per the arrangement, he was the only one who did not need a memory charm.

Hermione lifted the anti-apparition charm and watched as Holt walked Martini out, and the three wizards grabbed the other assailants by the arms and disapparated. Rosa shut the door, and Hermione quickly silenced it, before sending a flash of orange light towards the security camera, disabling it for five minutes.

“Um, is no one going to do anything about the dudes Rosa shot?” Jake asked.

“Someone will take care of them in MACUSA, I’m sure,” Hermione said.

“Do you really have to?” Amy said, changing the subject from Jake’s question. She knew they didn’t have much time.

“What’s she gonna do? Oh! Don’t tell me you’ve got one of those flashy things like in MIB where they wipe people’s memories. That’d be sweet!” Jake said excitedly.

“No, Jake she’s going to use her wand because she’s a witch and she’s going to obliviate us.” Amy’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes.

“Uh, obliviate means she’s going to wipe our memories, Jakey,” Charles clarified.

“Thanks, buddy,” Jake responded. “Neuralyzer! That’s it! I still think that’d be cooler.”

“Will you two shut up?” Rosa said harshly.

Hermione took a quick breath. “Okay, after I do this, you need to call us Charlotte, Jason and Nolan again, alright?”

“Are you not going to-” Amy started to say, but Hermione cut her off.

“Not completely. Everything that just happened here, yes. You’re going to think it went off exactly as planned, and everything involving the case you’ll remember as completely normal, muggle events with no magic involved. But, you’ll still be able to recall who our true identities are, even if you can’t call us by our names. That’s if everything is administered properly.”

“Cool, c-c-cool, c-cool, cool, cool,” Jake said nervously. “So..should we be worried you could completely mess with our memories?”

“It’ll be fine, you know she’s brilliant,” Amy reassured him and squeezed his hand, which did not go unnoticed by Charles and Rosa.

“What was that?” Charles shrieked.

But Hermione didn’t give them a chance to answer, as she waved her wand and took away all the magical memories surrounding the case. She watched their faces with sorrow, and hated that they had to follow the Statue of Secrecy so closely. She lifted the silencing charm, opened the door and fixed the mirror as the memory charm finished it’s work. As the fog cleared, the detectives all looked around.

“Are they gone?” Jake asked.

“All but Martini and Gerteso. We’ll bring them back soon,” Hermione said. She heard three faint pops in the hallway. “We’re going to bring Martini in so he and Gerteso can have a word.”

Kingsley strode in with Holt behind him. “Alright team,” Holt said. “You’ll need to get back and file your reports on the Gerteso case so we can hand them over to King’s team. They’re going to question the two once more before they take their leave. You’re dismissed.” The four detectives nodded and exited quietly.

“Charlotte, you may go assist with paperwork,” Kingsley nodded. “Holt and I are going to debrief while Jason and Nolan take care of Gerteso and Martini. I’ll be back to assist Gerteso’s transfer to England when I’m through.”

~o~

Ron watched Hermione, Holt and Kingsley go as Harry grabbed Martini by the arm. He knew Kingsley wanted Hermione to obliviate the team, and he was disappointed they didn’t get a chance to at least say goodbye as his actual self.

“Alright, time for your family reunion,” Harry said as he nodded to Ron.

“Right,” Ron opened the door to the interrogation room. He shook the thoughts from his head as he placed his focus back on the case. “Sorry for the hold up, Leo, but we have a visitor for you.”

Gerteso looked up, slightly confused, until the door widened and his brother walked through. “What the- How’d you find him?” he said.

“So you are alive…” Martini cut in.

“And it looks like the two of you are both going to rot in prison for a long time,” Harry said.

“Why didn’t you come back for me?” Gerteso asked. Though his voice was cold and there was a stiffness to it, Ron could hear the hint of desperation that he truly wanted to know.

Martini hesitated. “I wanted to, but Benedict said it was too dangerous. He was after our kind and if we didn’t get out of the country then, they’d find us.”

“And yet I lived across the street with that corner shop owner until I was of age, and I was fine. Benedict always preferred you over me.” It was the first shot of emotion Gerteso had displayed, but it disappeared just as quick. “You took everything from me. It should’ve been me.”

“No, England should have been yours,” Martini said stiffly.

“I went to the Sanguinity! I appealed to them for Englandand they shot me down!” Gerteso said through gritted teeth.

“So what, you came here to take my spot?” Martini let out a shrill laugh.

“Alright, alright, any last words?” Ron broke up their verbal spat.

“Yeah, thanks for ruining everything,” Martini said to his brother.

“I had nothing left to lose,” Gerteso said quietly.

Harry looked at Ron and nodded before disapparating with Martini to hand him off into trusted hands with MACUSA. Ron stepped outside to wait for Kingsley to return.

It was sad, really, to see how broken Gerteso had become. And now, both brothers’ lives were effectively ruined, from their own wrongdoing, of course. Ron’s thoughts were broken as Kingsley strolled down the hall.

“All set?” he asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m going to take Gerteso back to MACUSA with me, where we have a 1:00 portkey waiting. Hermione mentioned you three and the detectives had some business to take care of before you came back? Something about a movie?” Kingsley looked at him intently.

“Oh, er, yeah. Jake has gotten us all into the Die Hard movies. We have two left that we were hoping to watch before we caught a portkey back. Plus, we have to pack, too. Will MACUSA be alright if we stay a few extra hours in the suite?”

“Yes, I think that will be fine. I’ll speak to the transportation department and arrange a 10:00pm Eastern portkey back to London for you. I’m sure you want to get home to your families tonight, even if it will be early in the morning.”

Ron chuckled. “Yeah, it’ll give us a few hours’ sleep before we need to pick up the kids from Mum and Dad. Harry won’t be as lucky. I’m sure Ginny will have him up bright and early.”

Kingsley laughed. “I would expect nothing less. You three have done a brilliant job on this case. I think the paperwork can wait a few days. I’ll speak to your department heads and make sure you’re not expected back at the Ministry until Monday.”

“Thank you, sir,” Ron said. He was appreciative to have extra time to reunite with his family. It’d been a long two weeks, and the kids had never had both their parents away from them for that length of time.

“Of course. You’ve earned it. Now, I believe you have plans. Go join your team.” Kingsley shook Ron’s hand before entering the interrogation room to collect Gerteso.

Ron felt his pocket heat up from the coin. It was Harry, letting them know he was heading back to the suite to start packing and he’d meet them there. Hermione had responded that the paperwork was wrapping up, and they’d be there within the half hour.

She really had been thinking when she made him and Harry take those coins. No one was expecting there to be a leak within MACUSA’s Aurors, let alone from the head of their department. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to talk to her about any of this until they returned home.

He walked back onto the office floor as the team stood up. Jake handed him the reports so he could use them back home to build Gerteso’s case. “There ya go, Nolan,” Jake said.

“Are we ready to get back and watch those movies?” Amy asked. Everyone, including Rosa, nodded, indicating she was going to join them.

They were about to make their way to the elevator when Terry joined them. “Hey guys, even though I didn’t really get to work with you, I heard you all did a great job, and I just wanted to thank you for keeping my team safe.”

“Oh, er, thanks,” Ron said.

Terry nodded at him and whispered to Ron and Hermione, “Chant back alright?” Both were confused until they heard Terry shout, “NINE NINE!”

The rest of the team, including Ron and Hermione shouted, “NINE NINE!” back.

“It’s just something we do here,” Terry said through a big smile as he turned to get back to his desk. They heard him saying to himself. “It’s yogurt time! Terry loves his yogurt!” The detectives rolled their eyes and laughed.

~o~

Once they were back behind closed doors of the suite, Amy asked, “So, should we pack first? Or did you want to start the movies?” The four of them looked at the trio.

Hermione spoke for them. “Well, our stuff is all packed and ready to go. If Harry’s mostly packed up, we can jump right into the movies. Then maybe that would give us enough time to actually go out to dinner and go to Shaw’s for a drink before we have to leave. We depart at ten, so we should be there by nine.”

Harry and Ron were gaping at Hermione. She’d slipped up. But when they looked at the detectives, no one looked surprised. “Don’t worry, we still know who you are, just not the details of the case,” Charles explained.

The two men rounded on Hermione, who didn’t look apologetic in the slightest. “They deserve to know our true identities, and I trust them. If you don’t, then you can obliviate them before we leave.”

Ron and Harry glanced at each other and then Ron noticed Jake, Amy and Charles giving them desperate looks. Rosa didn’t seem to care either way.

“Are we doing this, or what?” Hermione asked.

The afternoon had passed by, and they watched the last two films in near silence. The only outburst was when Hermione yelled at the television during the dancing scene in the tent. “What the fuck were they thinking?!” It took a lot to get Hermione this riled up. Ron should have been annoyed as well, but he was so amused by her use of the foulest of language that he laughed at the absurdity of it all.

It was a solemn mood as the trio had to watch so many they were close to die again. Tears were shed at the end of part one when they lost Dobby, and again when they saw Fred, Tonks, and Lupin lying still.

Amy paused the movie before the epilogue, not wanting to show them that before they discussed the rest of the films. “Well?” she asked quietly.

“A lot of things were different, but it doesn’t change the grief from the loss of it all,” Ron said. Harry and Hermione nodded.

“I didn’t realize it until these two films, but I found the voices with Polyjuicing odd. When you use the potion, even your voice changes, but it didn’t here,” Hermione commented.

“Probably to help the audience know who was who,” Charles said.

“I honestly tried to forget the whole ‘seven Potters’ thing,” Harry grumbled.

“Mate, we didn’t exactly care to be you, either,” Ron managed a laugh.

“Was it weird turning into a guy?” Rosa asked Hermione.

“Um,” Hermione’s cheeks flushed red. “I tried not to think about it.” Ron was watching her carefully. He’d honestly forgotten that Hermione had experienced what it was like to be Harry. To- nope, we’re not going there, he told himself.

“Speaking of, I can’t believe they didn’t Polyjuice me during the wedding,” Harry said.

“Yeah, a lot of that whole scene was off,” Ron agreed.

No one wanted to discuss the locket, or Ron’s departure, which he was thankful for. He had a feeling Hermione was appreciative to see the scene of his movie self destroying the locket to get some sort of visual of what he went through. It wasn’t exact, but it was close.

“The whole snatcher chase through the woods was bollocks,” Harry said.

“Yes, and why didn’t they let Ron yell for me?” He knew she was talking about Malfoy Manor. That was hard to watch. “That was what kept me alive. How could they leave that out?” she asked incredulously.

Amy just shrugged. “I’ve given up asking those questions. But if I ever get a chance to meet Steve Kloves, I fully plan on giving him a piece of my mind.” Jake patted her knee to settle her.

“What about your injuries? How could they just pick back up in the second part and you were fine? We were at Shell Cottage for over a month! And you spent more than half that time healing! You were barely ready for Gringotts!” It was the first time they were really seeing Ron get heated over the movies.

“They were already dark enough as it is, no one needed that addition, I’m sure,” Hermione told him.

“Oh, and they butchered your first kiss as bad as they did mine and Gin’s,” Harry said.

“Yes, well, how could they keep the integrity of it when they cut out all of S.P.E.W.,” Hermione said bitterly. “And, we did not get soaked by a tidal wave in the Chamber of Secrets. Honestly, was that the best they could imagine for that scene? She also looked pained to kiss him. I was certainly not pained to kiss you, was I? Considering I made the first move?”

“Hermione, you’re getting yourself riled up again,” Ron chuckled. He was trying to hide his own disappointment at how all that panned out.

“I wish Snape’s death actually happened in the Shrieking Shack,” Amy said. “I never understood the boathouse scene.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “That seemed off, but Snape’s memories and the forest with the resurrection stone was quite well done. Even King’s Cross with Dumbledore, though I’m disturbed about how Rita found out about that,” Harry shuddered.

“The final scene between you and Voldemort was shit,” Ron said to Harry as Hermione nodded.

“So anticlimactic,” she said.

“Yeah, there’s some holes in how everything ties together because of it,” Harry said, noticing the flaws.

“But that wouldn’t make a good climax,” Charles said.

“Charles, just say action or fight scene...honestly,” Jake shook his head.

“Well, there is one more part,” Amy said. “Want me to play it? Then we can go to Shaw’s for dinner and drinks before you have to go.”

“Um, sure,” Hermione said as Harry and Ron gave a noncommittal shrug.

Amy pressed play and the epilogue unfolded. Harry, Ron and Hermione stared open-mouthed at the screen.

“But...nineteen years later isn’t for another two years,” Hermione said, a look of complete loss on her face. “When did you say the seventh book and movies came out?”

“The book was 2007, and the movies were 2010 and 2011.”

“Hugo and Lily weren’t even born yet. How could she have possibly known their names?” Hermione was completely flabbergasted.

“Hermione, how did she find out everything she wrote in those books?” Harry said exasperatedly.

“So, the kids,” Amy said timidly. “They’re real?”

Jake couldn’t help but laugh. “What, like they’re fake? Ames, do you hear yourself?”

“Yes,” Hermione said, “and the names are correct, too.” A thought crossed Hermione’s mind. “What if she’s a Seer?”

“I thought you didn’t believe in that rubbish,” Ron said.

“I’m skeptical, yes, but that scene hasn’t happened yet. Either she totally made it up for drama or she saw it,” Hermione persisted.

“Well, we won’t know until it plays out in two years, now will we?” Harry said. “And seeing how it’s Al and me, I guess I’ll be the one to confirm.”

“Are we ready to head out yet?” Rosa asked.

Everyone nodded and left the conversation there. Hermione grabbed the beaded bag, which had all of the trio’s belongings, like old times.

“Thank you for showing us all of that. It was very...enlightening,” Hermione said to Amy.

“Of course! Thanks for, um, keeping this part of our memory intact,” Amy said as Hermione offered a small smile.

“To the best team of Brooklyn detectives and British Aurors!” Charles said as he raised his fist in the air.

In the absence of Terry, Jake took over his signature line. “NINE-NINE!”

“NINE-NINE!” They all echoed.

They took one last look around the suite before closing the door behind them. The mission had certainly been once of a lifetime, and the trio had made friends they wouldn’t soon forget. And, the 99 detectives wouldn’t either, thanks to Hermione’s ability to skirt around the law.

#hp au #hp/b99 crossover #b99 au #brooklyn 99 au #harry potter/brooklyn 99 crossover

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copperbadge · 5 years

Note

Do you have any thoughts about the announced adaptation of 'the City Watch' books by BBC America? Opinions seem pretty mixed in the fandom and I'd love to hear your take?

For a show I was almost definitely never going to watch from the outset, I have more thoughts about the Watch adaptation than I really know what to do with, to be honest. It’s actually hard to assemble them coherently.

There are basically three strands of opinion I have about watching The Watch: personal, critical, and literary.

The personal:

I don’t have a great history of enjoying media adaptations of Terry Pratchett’s work. One reason I didn’t watch Good Omens until a month or two after its release is that I knew this about myself and I didn’t want to turn it on, get disappointed, and turn it off, as I’d done with The Hogfather (we need not speak of The Animated Soul Music, lord). Granted, the Death books are not my favorites, so I was never going to deeply engage with The Hogfather, and then they came out with The Colour Of Magic, another non-favorite, so I skipped it, and so I was super disengaged by the time Going Postal came out (though I should really give Going Postal a chance because I do love Going Postal as a book). So I acknowledge this isn’t objective, this is personal, but it’s still a factor.

So I’m not coming into this whole situation with The Watch as someone who actually wants, or enjoys, TV adaptations of Pterry’s books, Good Omens notwithstanding – and let’s be real, Good Omens is an outlier. It was a collaboration, one of the original authors had deep control over the adaptation, and also Good Omens isn’t a Discworld book. It’s much more thoroughly rooted in our known reality, which makes it easier to convey to television. But my ultimate point is that when I hear about a Discworld book being adapted to TV, I shrug and move on. I have the books. I don’t need the shows.

The critical:

I think it is a bad habit of fandom that we extrapolate a lot of inference from a relatively small amount of data – we tend to take a couple of photos, a press release, some casting information, and very quickly make a large set of assumptions. It’s not necessarily that these assumptions are wrong, but we jump to a lot of conclusions. I’m thinking of early backlash over Good Omens, which I don’t even remember what it was about but I remember Gaiman having to get pretty stern about “could you wait until at least the trailer is out before jumping down my throat”. I’m also thinking of the casting of David Thewlis as Remus Lupin, which was not well-received until we saw more than blurry set photos.

Now, all that having been said, some of the casting news has been…difficult. On the one hand, a Black Sybil Ramkin? Sign me the fuck up. On the other, I know that for a lot of people, having a Sybil who is both large and older is really important (I think it’s important too). Especially if Vimes is older, it’s creepy and backwards to have Sybil be young and hollywood-idea-of-pretty (even if the time travel element is involved, it gets into a weird area). Also, I’m really over only ever casting people of color as villains or supporting-role-women. Vimes canonically comes from a “poor but respectable” neighborhood that could easily be reframed as an ethnic neighborhood, which would be especially pointed and interesting given his family’s long connection to the history of the city. An Indian or part-Indian Sam Vimes would be really, really interesting and cool, for example.

There’s also a lot of discussion about casting a nonbinary person as Cheery and explicitly setting Cheery up as nonbinary, as opposed to explicitly a trans woman*, especially since in the books she identifies as a woman, not as nonbinary. But I’m not entirely sure if Cheery as nonbinary is actually going to be canon or if that’s just the reporting on the show not knowing how to handle the whole Female Dwarf situation. Not everyone interprets Cheery as trans at all, either, because of how dwarf gender identity works, which complicates matters somewhat, so I’m not going to wade too far into these waters. I do think it’s great enby actors are getting work in enby roles, but there’s some issues there that need further examination.

(* Note -- corrected the above after it was pointed out to me that NB are not trans light; I’ve changed it to trans woman rather than trans-as-umbrella-term, more here.)

So I think overall it’s early days to make a lot of calls about what The Watch will and won’t be, but I also think there’s a lot of reason to be concerned and annoyed, and that brings us to the real, hardcore reason that I saw the first reporting on The Watch and immediately noped out:

The literary:

“Punk rock thriller.”

Oh go fuck yourself.

Despite everything I said above about not making snap judgements I immediately read that it would be a dark punk rock thriller police procedural and went “Well, guess that’s that” and walked away from the idea of being even vaguely excited about this show, because what I read demonstrated a basic, fundamental lack of grip on what the Watch books are about.

One, the Watch books aren’t about crime. They really genuinely aren’t. The crimes are macguffins on which to hang social commentary about other things entirely. Even in the very earliest Watch books, when Pterry was still mostly making fun of high fantasy, the crimes the Watch investigated were committed in the service of a larger discussion about things like totalitarianism, interculturalism, and civic life. There’s at least one moment, and I believe several but I’d have to re-read the books to be sure, where Pterry explicitly makes fun of murder mysteries where the hero Solves Crimes Like Sherlock Holmes. Vimes hates clues. Feet Of Clay has an extended subplot about how you 100% cannot trust clues even when the author is the one feeding them to you. I do not want a Watch series that is about Clues.

Two, the Watch books are explicitly the antithesis of the action genre. They have action in them, but the point is that nobody in these books are action heroes; they’re ordinary people attempting to go about their jobs in a situation where that constantly becomes increasingly difficult. I read “punk rock thriller” and I thought to myself of the dedication of Guards! Guards!:

They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.

This does get a bit tricky because by the end of Snuff, Vimes is very heroic, almost too heroic for my comfort, but at the same time his heroism is of a very specific sort: he is heroic not because he slaughters the palace guard who get in his way or shoots the baddie or blows up a cop car with a helicopter (or vice versa) but because he deeply, intensely hates those things, and wants nothing to do with them. He is heroic because he is forced into it by circumstance, but spite in the face of monstrousness is what powers him. I think of The Fifth Elephant, where Vimes has just killed a werewolf:

There were a lot of things he could say. “Son of a bitch!” would have been a good one. Or he could say, “Welcome to civilization!” He could have said, “Laugh this one off!” He might have said, “Fetch!” But he didn’t, because if he had said any of those things then he’d have known that what he had just done was murder.

I don’t trust someone who thinks The Watch should be reimagined as a thriller to understand Sam Vimes. Like, there’s room for interpretation as to Vimes’ character, but there is a fundamental underlying bedrock Vimes is built on and if you don’t grasp the broad points of that, you’re just writing a cop show with some names stitched on.

Three, the Watch books aren’t a static series, they aren’t like cozy mysteries where the circumstances change but the hero rarely does. That’s nothing against cozy mysteries; I love mystery novels and some of my favorites involve characters who don’t even age over the course of the forty years the books were written in. But you cannot pastiche the Watch and expect it to work.

Again this is a bit of extrapolation based on low amounts of data but I think it’s probably accurate – the casting indicates that either we’re dealing with the events of Night Watch or at the very least heavily engaged with aspects of it. But Night Watch, while I think it’s one of Pterry’s best books hands down, doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It is one point in a very specific developmental arc, not just for Vimes but for the entire Watch. If we’re dealing just with the plot of Night Watch (which I don’t think we are) that’s tough to pull off. If, as I suspect, they’re going to be pulling from various aspects of various Watch books, then that’s just fucking nonsense.

Even Carrot, who is a very constant figure, undergoes some fundamental shifts in personality between Guards! Guards! and, say, The Fifth Elephant. Vimes, while maintaining his personal moral and ethical code, undergoes a radical shift between Guards! Guards! and Night Watch, and he continues to develop emotionally and in some ways spiritually up until Snuff. The Vimes who bitches about diversity in hiring in Men At Arms will not react to any given situation the way the Vimes who befriends the goblins in Snuff will.

And because these books also all address very specific issues, you can’t just slam them all together and expect to get anything resembling the Watch as Pterry envisioned it over the course of the books.

So while I love the comedy, the characters, the plots, even the macguffin crimes, I believe that a Watch book – a Discworld book of any kind – without that satirical bite is just a high-fantasy husk. There’s no point to it, nothing that sets it apart from a bad Saturday Night Live skit about Game of Thrones. The tv series might actually turn out great and all my concerns will have been unfounded, but first looks aren’t promising on a number of really basic levels.

So we’ll see. If I’m wrong, great; the show will probably electrify fandom in the same way Good Omens did. If I’m right, well, I had no hopes to begin with, so I’ll just enjoy re-reading Night Watch, which is the book that got me back into fandom and which you can all blame for my presence here today. :D

#discworld #the watch #copperbadge is named after the copper badge of sam vimes #Anonymous #you will pry ugly bastard sam and fat practical sybil from my cold dead hands

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the-irish-mayhem · 4 years

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Fosterson Fic Rec Masterlist: Multichapters

The Main Reclist has been split to fix the links that tumblr decided to break if there were too many of them in a single post. I’ll be keeping the main reclist updated (even if the links appear broken) as well as maintaining this list and the list for oneshots.

I need help expanding this list! If you have any favorites or fics of your own of your own you don’t see included in this list and you’d like to submit for consideration, please drop me a line.

List updated April 2020. New additions marked with **

Updated during this wild quarantined time, which should serve as a reminder to everyone to APPRECIATE YOUR CONTENT CREATORS! Leave all the comments and kudos to show our love for everything they do. Big thanks to everyone who recommended and/or created content for this amazing ship.

Rated G/K-K+

**The World has Turned and Left Me Here by alwaysaprilia: Jane Foster’s mission is impossible: build a wormhole, save the world. Thor Odinson thinks his task is even more impossible: keep Jane Foster alive long enough for her to accomplish her mission. AKA: What-to-do-when-the-damsel-in-distress-keeps-distressing-you. Rec: This is such a lovely little AU fic, brings in such an expansive world so succinctly and smoothly. | 16k | In progress

**Unspoken by igi_pigi: Post bringing his brother back to Asgard from Midgard, Thor is told by Heimdall that Jane Foster has decided to stop looking for him. [Set after Avengers1.] Rec: Angsty, with some nice Frigga content. | 4.8k | Complete

**Overlapping Spaces by khilari, Persephone_Kore: Thor returns to Earth a month after the Chitauri invasion to keep his promises -- to see Jane again, and take her to see Asgard, even if the rainbow bridge is still undergoing repairs. Not that Jane is complaining about watching the repairs. But she wasn't expecting Loki to be haunting the palace library, even in psychiatric care; and Loki wasn't expecting to make friends with Thor's mortal girlfriend. Rec: If you’re looking for a good, long Jane-centric fic that also features endgame fosterson, a well written Loki, and really interesting take on Asgardian culture, this is the fic for you. | 107k | Complete

IW Coda by hariboowrites: THOR AND JANE FOCUSED CODA TO IW bc i am who i am. Rec: We all need a fosterson followup to Infinity War, and this one has an ending that made me scream internally with excitement. Make this the opening of the next Avengers movie pls. | ~4k | Complete

Five Times Jane Was Kinda Jealous And One Time Thor Was by shinyopals: ‘Hello, Jane,’ said Thor. He gave her a smile that would move mountains and definitely still made her stomach flutter. ‘This is Rachael and Amanda. They wished to give their regards for my help during the Convergence. Although of course without you we would have been hopeless.’ He turned back to Rachael and Amanda. ‘This is my dear friend Dr Jane Foster, of whom I was speaking.’ Dear friend? Jane blinked. They’d been sleeping together for a couple of weeks and had had a slightly awkward conversation to establish where they stood with each other (what Jane called dating exclusively and Thor called a courtship). “Friend”, however “dear”, seemed a bit of an understatement. Sometimes dating a gorgeous world-saving alien prince has its drawbacks. Rec: BURY ME AND HAVE THIS JEALOUSY FIC PRINTED ON MY TOMBSTONE. I usually don’t like the toxicity most jealousy fics are infused with, but this one is so pure and wonderful. I could read it every damn day. | 14k | Complete

The Arizona Banana Famine by Niobium: Thor experiences the simpler side of Earth. Rec: Absolutely hilarious. Thor + shenanigans of living on Earth and trying to hide his identity + Jane helping him to varying effect. | 7k | Complete

Non Est Ad Astra Mollis e Terris Via (there is no easy way from the earth to the stars) by Rozilla: Jane Foster keeps out of social media mostly, but does keep a blog for all things science. With a few personal posts thrown in. Edited (with sarcastic asides) by Darcy Lewis. Rec: Fosterson is mentioned often, but Jane’s voice is incredibly worthwhile. | 10.4k | Complete

Hidden resonances by kes: After the vision Wanda Maximoff gave him, Thor had more questions than answers, and so he sought truth with Jane, in a cave beneath the mountains. Rec: A really great fix-it taking place during AOU, plus some fosterson feels. | 6k | Complete

Time and Trouble by shinyopals: Frigga thinks she knows exactly what to expect from the rest of her life. Then one son perishes and returns, whilst the other falls for a mortal woman who’s like nothing Frigga could have predicted.(Frigga’s POV from the end of Thor right through to post-TDW.) Rec: BLESS ALL FRIGGA-CENTRIC FICS. Great outside perspective fosterson, plus a TDW fix-it. | 14k | Complete

If You Want To Live series by hariboo: They lost Loki when they sunk Manhattan. Three years laters Loki finds them and that’s really when everything begins. This is that beginning. Rec: Terminator fusion AU that you didn’t realize you needed until now. Knowledge of the Terminator films is helpful but not required. The 'needing each other’ that comes along with a desperate post-apocalyptic situation really lends itself well to fosterson. It also hurts a hell of a lot. I wish it wasn’t finished. | 5k | Complete

Fabulous Baking Sisters or How to (not) Get Over A Norse God in 730 Days by Rozilla: After seeing Jane in a slump one too many times, Darcy decides to get her into stress baking… and soon regrets it. Rec: A lot of Jane/Darcy brotp, but lots of fosterson goodness especially near the end. The phrase “sex coma” is definitely used. | 8.5k | Complete

Waking Ease by Salmon_Pink: Thor/Jane, rated G. Set after Thor: The Dark World. Written for Comic Drabbles, prompt "halo”. Rec: very, very short, but cute. This is a part of a larger series by this author, but this is the only fosterson chapter I’ve seen so far. | <1k | In progress

Hold the Sun by writerblocked: Thor and Jane (and everyone else) share a meal. Rec: A nice peek into regular life, complete with some touches of angst and fluff at the same time. This story, like the above rec, is a part of a larger work that does not solely include fosterson. | <1k | Complete

If She Is Worthy by Mr. Chaos: During the battle with The Destroyer, Mjolnir returns to Thor’s hand. But what if Selvig hadn’t pulled Jane away? And what if it wasn’t just Thor that had proven himself worthy? Rec: Jane kicking ass and taking names with Mjolnir. Nuff said. Downside? A giant twist at the end and still waiting for a sequel. | 4.5k | Complete

A Story of Us by me: Short and sweet prompt fills. All feature Thor and Jane as the main couple and are all just ridiculous fluff. Rec: A collection of my prompt fills from tumblr. It wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 26.2k | In progress

Rated T

The Foster Edition series by asoulofstars, MissChrisDaae: What happens when Jane Foster is in the Battle of Manhattan? In short, it changes everything. Rec: FIXING MARVEL WITH JANE FOSTER IS THE BEST, NAY, THE ONLY SOLUTION I WILL ACCEPT. | 60k | In progress

Game Changer by asoulofstars, MissChrisDaae: In the aftermath of the Convergence, Jane and Thor return to Earth in search of the scepter, and the Avengers slowly begin to reassemble. Across the cosmos and on Earth itself, enemies begin to gather, enemies that threaten everything the team has ever fought for, and Jane is faced with something just as daunting, but far more personal. Evolving from a mortal to a goddess. From a spectator to a player. From a scientist to a queen. Rec: A fluffy setup for something big, I can feel it. | 8k | In progress

A Magical Solution to the Einstein Field Equations by shinyopals: Jane Foster has got enough on her plate, what with being a full time researcher, giving lectures, applying for grants, writing books, and consulting for Stark Industries. When Thor drops off the face of the universe and leaves her on Earth with no clues as to where he is, she doesn’t know what to do or how to find him.Then an attack on Stark Industries changes everything, and she finds herself getting thrown into a life that she’s previously only watched from the sidelines, and where getting punched through a wall is suddenly just an average day of the week. Rec: THE MOST PERFECT RAGNAROK AU TO EVER EXIST ANYWHERE EVER. EASILY ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS OF ALL TIME. | 56k | Complete

Ace in the Hole by MissChrisDaae: Working alongside Selvig on Project PEGASUS, Jane manages to escape when Loki arrives, bringing with her the data on the Tesseract, and making herself SHIELD's biggest resource in combating the rogue trickster. At least until her semi-boyfriend finally makes good on his promise to come back, and she finds herself caught in the middle of a war. And she might be a key part in stopping it. Rec: MOAR JANE IN THE AVENGERS. MOAR JANE BEING VALUED IN THE MCU. MOOOOAAAAAR. | 11.5k | Complete | Part of The Foster Edition series

Wild Card by MissChrisDaae: Separation is, for Thor and Jane, a little easier in knowing what's happening to each other, but they have their own trials to face. In the midst of a war, Thor learns of a force greater than anything he has ever faced, one that could change the fates of both himself and and the woman he loves. Nothing is certain, and the burdens of his family, his life, and his love are weighing heavily upon him. Working with Betty Ross, Jane works to understand the secrets of the universe, unaware of the fact that she's being tested with every move she makes. When she temporarily moves to look after her mother's house in London, she and Darcy come across the Convergence. And, for the third time, Jane's life is turned upside down by an ancient force from another realm. Rec: Canon divergent Fosterson is my freakin JaaaaAAAAm. Also BETTY ROSS. A great replacement for canon if you’re feeling Salty. | 33k | In progress | Part of The Foster Edition series

Dancer in the Dark by MissChrisDaae: Jane Foster has always been a member of the corps de ballet, and has never voiced complaint until one night when she indulges in the fantasy of being the prima ballerina. A mysterious voice calls out to her, tempting her, coaching her, offering to make her a star, and she accepts. Months later, the prophecy comes to light when the star of the company becomes mysteriously indisposed. Jane is suddenly cast into the spotlight, becoming an immediate success, but she only has eyes for Thor, the young scion to the ballet's greatest patron family, who has been masquerading as a stagehand in order to continue a longstanding liaison with her. But Jane's made a deal with something far worse than the devil, and now he's coming to claim his due. Rec: A ballet AU that reminds me a lot of Black Swan tone-wise. Warning though, there is a love triangle that includes Lokane. | 9.6k | In progress

Five Times Having An Alien Prince's Baby Sucked A Lot, And One Time It Didn't by shinyopals: It was the doctor’s turn to look nonplussed. ‘Dr Foster,’ she said quietly, ‘you’re around four weeks pregnant.’ ‘No I’m not,’ said Jane again. She was pretty sure she’d remember if Thor had reappeared for some awesome sex a month ago. He had not. She’d gotten through enough batteries to prove it. Jane isn't quite sure how this all happened. She just knows it's a lot of work and it keeps taking her away from her Physics. Rec: The Definitive™ Fosterson babyfic. I’m generally not much for babyfic because I’m not much for babies. But I’ve read this so many times and it’s so incredibly wonderful. | 24k | Complete

Strange Earth series by Niobium: The apocalypse has come and gone, leaving the Earth strange and altered in its wake. What was once a thriving world of magic and science has become a tractless, untamed Wilderness teeming with dangerous creatures born of warped energy pouring through rents in the fabric of space and time. Society has withdrawn into magically-walled Wards to keep itself safe as it seeks a way to reclaim the planet before it’s twisted beyond all recognition, and its Seers and Champions struggle to protect humanity and one another. Rec: An incredibly imaginative ghost hunting AU. Great world building, and fantastic interaction between Jane and Thor. | 12.6k | In progress

The Obloquy of Newness by Niobium: Jane just wants to present her findings and maybe win a Nobel Prize. That would be a lot easier if all these xenophobes, science deniers, and robots bent on world destruction would stop getting in the way. Or, Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis, and what they were up to before, during, and after Avengers: Age of Ultron. Rec: A really delightful companion to AOU. | 17.4k | Complete

Sex Ed For Asgardians (Isn’t Exactly Necessary) by shinyopals: 'It’s a condom,’ Jane said eventually, reminding herself she was an adult in an adult relationship, albeit a very new one with an alien forty times her age who could hardly be expected to know what Earth birth control was like. Jane and Pepper learn that some myths and legends are true. Rec: I have no idea why this wasn’t on the reclist before. It’s hilarious and also really heartfelt. I love Respectfulinthebedroom!Thor. I love the open communication between them. Lawd. | 3.4k | Complete

Pedulum: Beginning by hariboo: Kept apart, with worlds between them, Jane and Thor do not give up on one day finding each other again. Rec: Exquisite buildup to a reunion. Both Jane and Thor are in-character with their own agency, but its obvious they’re nuts for each other. | 28.5k | Complete | Part of in progress series, Pendulum

Pendulum: Between by hariboo: Having found each other again doesn’t mean things have gotten easier for Thor and Jane. In some ways things are only getting more complicated. At least now they can face whatever comes their way together. Rec: Continiation of Beginning (recced above). Nuanced, sweet, messy, fantastic character dynamics, and with a great plot. | 56.8k | Complete | Part of in progress series, Pendulum

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy by Maybug: Jane Foster and Thor are finally getting married! Most couples go a little crazy when they’re ecstatically happy, unfortunately for these two going crazy involves knocking a hole in spacetime and marooning themselves and two of Jane’s friends on a desolate and dangerous planet halfway across the galaxy. Meanwhile Darcy, Sif and Bill are trying to find them in Skuttlebutt. Will they survive? Will they make it to the wedding in time? Will Thor’s attempts to communicate with Groot drive everyone crazy? Will Darcy get to witness Jane’s brief Goth phase? Will Jane’s friend Sayed get over his Star-Trek inspired fantasies about green-skinned alien women? Find out in the next exciting installment of Journey into Mishap! Rec: Part of a really great series by a great author. Humorous and kind of cracky. Mixture of MCU and comic canon. Just one chapter short of completion. | 12.7k | In progress | Part of Journey into Mishap and the Fosterson Files

Welcome to the Fall by Niobium: The Avengers pick up the pieces in the aftermath of Sokovia. Inter- and post-film gap-fillers and ficlets, with varying POV characters. A couple of them are slightly canon divergent and will be labeled as such. Rec: A really solid piece of prose, careful of canon while building upon it/improving it. The fosterson is handled really well. | 5.5k | Complete

The House of Foster by ArticulatioHumeri: She had set out to study wormholes. Never would Jane Foster have thought that it would lay the foundations of a family clan. Rec: Great fosterson moments, and with proper time devoted to them. A good, long read. Probably the longest fic I have on this list, and the longest Marvel fic that actually legitimately features Fosterson prominently. | 224k | Complete

The Measure of a Man by fayedartmouth: Thor is banished to Earth. Reclaiming his worth is harder than he thinks it will be. AU of the movie Thor. Rec: By now, y’all know I love fics where Thor was on Earth longer than in canon. This is probably my favorite, because Thor is incredibly well-written, and the cultural/personal struggles he encounters are written fantastically. The fosterson is incredibly organic and lovely. | 140.7k | Complete

Towards the Storm by iwillavengeyou: Jane Foster is worthy. Jane Foster is the Mighty Thor. But was she always this way? This fic seeks to examine Jane’s path to picking up the mighty hammer Mjolnir, and her journey as a heroine who, underneath it all, is only human. Rec: One of the few fics I’ve been able to find and enjoy that deals with Jane’s place as Thor in the 616 universe. I like the story’s trajectory, but it has since been orphaned. If anyone wants to... ya know... pick it up... that’d be swell. | 1.5k | In progress

As You Wish by MissChrisDaae: After the apparent death of the only man she will ever love, Jane finds herself the unwilling bride-to-be of the kingdom’s icy hearted crown prince, whose interest in her is almost as unnerving as the man himself. Before the wedding can take place, Jane finds herself in the hands of three kidnappers, her life in danger, and a mysterious figure in black pursuing them. Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles. What more does a story need? Rec: THE PRINCESS BRIDE FUSION THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED UNTIL NOW. Also Sif is Indigo Montoya. If the fosterson wasn’t enough to get you to read it. | 21.3k | Complete

Girls’ Night by Maybug: With Thor in Asgard and the other Avengers away on a mission, Darcy, Betty, Pepper and Jane decide to have a girls’ night. A certain supervillain has other plans, but it’s nothing they can’t handle. Rec: fosterson is background, but you all know I can’t resist a good Marvel ladies asskicking story. Story is mostly from Jane’s POV, so good insights on fosterson. | 11.2k | In progress

Thor 2 Rewritten: The Shaded Tree by kes: Rec: A series of oneshots and short multichapters that rewrite the second Thor movie. Not everything is over fosterson, but it’s always an undercurrent. Worth the read. Such a great alternative to canon. | 44k | Incomplete, abandoned

don’t need no ammunition (ain’t the bridge that’s falling down) by anthropologicalhands: Thor (2011) AU. After the battle at Jotunheim, something goes wrong and Sif finds herself stranded on Midgard. Jane is still chasing bridges and wants to know how this strange woman got in her atmospheric disturbance. Darcy’s psyched…and a little freaked out. Meanwhile, Thor and Loki embark on an quest (actually: intergalactic road trip) to rescue Sif. Thor has to prove himself. Loki is having an identity crisis. Do the math. Rec: Great interactions with everyone. Jane and Thor are still absolutely smitten despite the different circumstances. Loki/Sif is also a main pairing. | 39k | Complete

Fate Has Brought Us Together by asoulofstars: A series of one-shots detailing the lives of Thor Odinson and Jane Foster. Set after the events of Thor: The Dark World. Rec: We all know I’m a sucker for fosterson fluffies. The chapters are generally short and sweet. Read for smiles and butterflies and rainbow puking. | 9.9k | In progress

We Have Joyed To Be Forlorn by Niobium: Jane Foster’s life carries on in the wake of the Convergence, complete with exciting new research prospects, a displaced and grieving alien, considerations on the functionality of magic, and massive shakeups in world espionage. Or, The continuing adventures of Jane Foster, from the end of Thor: The Dark World to just after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Rec: What it says on the tin. I highly recommend reading anything by this author. Both Jane and Thor are done justice to, beautifully. Lots of cutesy Fosterson that feels very real and not just like a fangirl threw up on a page. Really a gorgeous story. | 13.8k | Complete

Rowing in Eden by ancarett: The Bifrost is no longer broken but is becoming unpredictable: delivering its travellers far afield. With Midgard’s link to Asgard at risk, Jane and Thor have to restore stability to the wormhole or risk being separated forever. Rec: Jane and Thor doing science together and being cute together. Features all the Avengers. | 34.5k | Complete

Fundamental Forces by nayanroo: In an attempt to rein in the son that remains to her after Thor’s banishment, Frigga arranges a marriage between two old friends in the hopes that they can work together to heal an eroded realm. On Earth, a prince searches for identity after his world is turned upside-down. And in the darkness, something stirs. Rec: mostly a Loki/Sif pairing story, but there is enough fosterson to give a rec. Even if it wasn’t, I’d still rec it somewhere else. One of the most well-thought out stories I’ve read (part of an amazing series, which contains gratuitous fosterson) with incredible characterizations. Great plot, monstrous word counts in chapters. | 181k | Complete | Part of in progress series, The Kingsverse

When the Stars Fall Up by Nyxelestia: Loki is not so foolish as to let his pride get in the way of his plans. And Thor learns there is a lot more to being a king than being brave. Rec: Despite a Loki-heavy intro, we get some good Jane/Thor in the second chapter. It’s incomplete, and hasn’t been update in a long time, but I feel like it is going somewhere good if it is continued. | 7.3k | In progress, possibly abandoned

Watchtower by me: When research on the Tesseract begins, SHIELD recruits Jane Foster instead of Eric Selvig to harness the other-worldly artifact. When Loki raids the facility, he takes over the mind of the mortal woman his brother loves. The Avengers with Jane Foster in Eric Selvig’s place. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. (although tbh I’m tempted to take this off the rec list because I hate the way I wrote it so much XD) | 56k | Complete

Let Me Follow You Down by me: Jane is sick of her family always pushing her towards a relationship. She thinks she’s figured out the perfect solution. Fake Dating AU. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 24k | Complete

Rebuild All Your Ruins by me: Ragnarok AU. Despite his hunt for the Infinity Stones taking him far beyond Jane’s galaxy, Thor had always managed to get word to her that he was safe. When months pass without any word from him, Lady Sif arrives with a dire message: Thor has gone missing, Heimdall has been removed from his post as Gatekeeper, and the Warriors Three wonder if their king is truly Odin. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 11.2k | In progress, slow updates because it’s me and I’m garbage

Rated M (these won’t contain the smuts unless otherwise noted)

**Stalemate by igi_pigi: "It appears we're at a stalemate, Miss Foster." He meets her eyes at last with his bloodshot ones. "My association with you will continue to doom you with mortal dangers at every turn. And you will continue to inexplicably not hold me blameworthy for it." (Alternatively, how it should have been instead of how it was in Thor3.) [Well after Thor2.] Rec: PAIN. LOTS OF IT. Contains some smut | 8.7k | Complete

Symbiosis: Part I by SteeleHoltingOn: Jane and Thor have to decide if they can make their relationship work. She’s a scientist. He’s a prince. It’s the ultimate of long-distance relationships. It seems that Odin isn’t (wasn’t?) the only Asgardian who is unhappy with Thor’s fascination with Jane. Rec: An amazing look at Thor and Jane post-Dark World building their relationship, as well as all the pitfalls and heartache that comes with that. This author really plunges their hands into the nitty gritty problems with Jane and Thor, their cultural differences, their age/lifespan difference, and so on, yet it is still clear how much they love each other and their determination to make it work. | Contains some smut, but nothing very explicit | 92.5k | Complete

Symbiosis: Part II by SteeleHoltingOn: Loki ascends the throne of Jotunheim. He might have been lonely, but for the little hitchhiker in his head. Thor and Jane have their hands full with their daughter, Val, and the demands of Asgard and the Nine Realms. Rec: A lot of Loki, but also copious amounts of married Fosterson. As someone who isn’t always Loki’s biggest fan, especially when it comes to fan portrayals, I can say that this one is very true to canon and is an incredibly interesting read, and is balanced well with Jane and Thor-ness. The political drama is done very well. The plot planning seems meticulous and is absolutely admirable. I still have the same praise for it as its predecessor. | Contains some smut | 41.4k | Complete

Terrestrial Constellations by NightOwl360: For Jane and Darcy bringing Thor back to Earth is only the beginning of the adventure. Relationships are never easy, the past is always just a step behind, and sometimes the people we know best have the biggest secrets. Rec: Great characterization of Jane and Thor, and fabulous buildup until they meet again. Packed with not just fluff, some inevitable angst, as well as an intriguing storyline. Only downside: I’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned, and on a hell of a cliff hanger. | 78k | In progress, possibly abandoned

The Poetic Edda (was almost entirely wrong) by PhoenixVictoria: In Which: Thor is from a warrior culture (and Jane Foster understands); Loki is badass (but also kind of a puppy); Thor grows a pair and fixes his mistakes (and is a good brother); Loki is a slut (and is a good brother when he has no knives); Darcy Lewis is The Geek Whisperer (which really turns Loki on); And the Odinsons have no idea how to act in front of the media (and wouldn’t care if they did.) Rec: Almost entirely for Thor. He is so well-written in this. Loki and Thor fixing the damage they’ve done, and Jane being a great person. I love this so far (it is a WIP). Later chapters make Tasertricks a thing, so a heads up if you’re not into that ship. | Contains some smut, graphic imagery of torturing/punishment | 81k | In progress, possibly abandoned

One and the Same Thing by MissChrisDaae: Jane Foster is born to the bloodline of the Alchemysts, and the first woman to be inducted into the order. After the murder of her mentor, Jane becomes the first Alchemyst to mix the study of alchemy with that of magic, trying to enhance the art and find a way to avenge him. This is seen as bastardizing the craft, and she is cast out of the order, still working her craft as she wanders the realm. Forbidden from using the title of Alchemyst, Jane instead calls herself Ástkona Óþekktur, a Mistress of the Unknown. On her travels, she picks up an apprentice in Darcy Lewis and the two women meet another very unusual pair: the crown prince, Thor, and his foster brother, Loki, on the run from Amora, the sorceress who murdered Thor’s father and usurped the throne, the same woman who killed Jane’s teacher. Finding common ground, the four agree to join forces in taking down the Enchantress. Even if Jane won’t admit it, she finds herself drawn to the older prince, and Thor seems to be returning her affections, much to the annoyance of Loki, who sees the Ástkona Óþekktur as an unneeded distraction from what matters. If they win the war, there may still be something left to lose. Rec: You can see by the description that this is way AU. Incredibly imaginative, with a good characterization of Jane. | 33k | Complete

The Salt Skin by hariboo: One day Sif walks to the edge of the Bifrost to see compelled to see where Loki had fallen. At the same time Jane is testing a way to open the Bifrost. By accident Sif falls to Earth, what happens after she never would have expected, and then she finds Loki. Post-film. Rec: I can’t believe I haven’t recced this yet. A long, Sif-centric fic that is respectful to fosterson is hard to find, but this one hits all my must haves. Jane and Thor are beautiful idiots, and the outside view of their relationship is great. Very well-written. Loki/Sif is also very prominently featured. | 44.4k | Complete

Off The Grid by Shawn30: As stated by Phil Coulson in 'Agents of Shield’ episode 1-15, "Thor is currently off the grid.” So the question is, where are Thor, Jane, Darcy, and Eric post 'The Dark World’? Rec: This person was one of my FAVORITE fic authors of all time because of their Star Wars fics, and then THEY WRITE A FOSTERSON STORY. I was over the damn moon. There’s a unique take of all the characters, and there’s promise of really great things coming from this story. This fic would be a wise investment. Only problem is that sometimes their fics have very slow updates. Contains some smut | 15k | In progress, possibly abandoned

Lost in a World Full of Terrors by psychollama: Inspired by typhoidcandy - “After Darcy attempts to perform one of Loki’s spells, things go awry and she’s sent to another universe. In this medieval-like universe, Loki is King, Thor is banished and living in the forests, and Jane is an arrow wielding rebel. Can Darcy make it home before the real Loki finds out what she did? Or before medieval Loki captures her and either kills her or makes her his slave?” Rec: A different take on a medieval AU. The first and only chapter is very fosterson-centric, and sets up the action nicely. Jane and Thor are handled very well in the different context. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been updated since 2013, so I fear it has been abandoned. |4.4k | In progress, possibly abandoned

Stop All The Clocks series by Della19: Rec: NOT fosterson centric. This series is, I think, the first thing I read on AO3, and I was blown away. This person has constructed a great world around Supersoldier!Peggy Carter, and I rec the whole series, as the world and the characters are all vibrant and well-rounded. The stories, while connected, can easily be read as standalones. The fosterson, when it’s a larger focus, is absolutely lovely. | 49k | In progress

Rain Upon the Ashes by me: Medieval Fantasy AU. An ancient evil threatens Yggdrasil. An illegitimate heir sits upon the throne of Asgard, and an unknown menace seeks to destroy the Royal Family. Thor Odinson, true heir to the throne and banished years before, emerges as one of the leaders of the Rebellion, further endangering his family. Known publicly only as the Raven, Jane Foster, once a high-born Lady of Midgard, finds herself fighting a war when she once only desired to see the stars. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 33k | In progress, slow updates because it’s me and I’m garbage

Rated E (these will contain the smuts unless otherwise noted)

The Secret of Mind and Memory by capitainpistol: Jane and Thor wake up to an empty Asgard and zero memory of their pasts or each other. PWP. Rec: The Amesiacs Who Are Instinctually Drawn to Each Other AU that I never knew I needed in my life. I can’t wait to see how it ends. | 2k | In progress

Love in a Time of Tentacles (or How We Hired Out Our Sex Parts To Tentacle Monsters in Exchange for Remaining in Space) by Rozilla: Jane and Thor’s ship is left drifting in space and the only option is to take up the offer of a Bio-Engineering corporation to submit their bodies to science. Science in this case being mostly tentacles. It’s a good thing Jane’s into this sort of thing. Rec: I hope you’re into wild space porn because that is exactly what this is. Woop woop. Mind the warnings. | 13.2k | Complete

Edging Towards the Light by Shawn30: Thor and Jane navigate the treacherous relationship waters of ambition, duty, passion, and love. Rec: SMUT WITH PLOT YUM. A unique but plausible take on Fosterson. | 30k | In progress

Play Along Prisoner by Rozilla: You’re so used to being not listened to, put down, doubted and generally made to feel worthless when you work twice as hard as everyone else, sometimes you need a hobby like this one. Especially when you have such a willing participant. Rec: AU, Domme!Jane and Sub!Thor. Mmmmyes. Mind the warnings. | 15.3k | In progress

For The Days Inbetween by Simple.White.Lie: Heroes are seldom allowed happiness, and far too often Duty comes before Love. That only means he must fight even harder for that which he desires. Rec: While it isn’t always the prime example of great writing, this fic is still very good. It is a long multichapter which features gratuitous smut (hurrah!) while still maintaining good plot. Jane and Thor’s ups and downs as a couple are well written, and if you’re a sucker for married Fosterson, check this one out. | 79k | Complete

On the Outside by Simple.White.Lie: The King and Queen of Asgard are not prepared for the dish Fate has served for them. To be tossed out like a ship in the wind is more than their hearts can take. Their love is something to fight for.. Isn’t it? Rec: Sequel to For The Days Inbetween (recced above). Both stories feature a very strong Jane, which is a big plus. Again, while the writing isn’t always stellar, it is a worthwhile read. | 33k | Complete

Thor Pwns Walmart by charis2770: Jane and Thor have found a way to be together at last. It’s all she could have wished for, and then some. But it’s playing heck on her worldly possessions! Jane takes Thor shopping at Wal Mart so she can replace all the things which have been torn or broken during their reunion. And buy more pop tarts. This turns out to be an adventure. And hotter than you might think. Rec: Okay, holy high heavens this story is well done. The author does BDSM amazingly, and I recommend their other stories, too. Mind the warnings. Also, if BDSM isn’t your thing, I still recommend the bits in between the smut because it is hilarious and perfect. | 35k | Complete

Stealing Away by charis2770: This is what happens when the Black Widow puts herself in charge of planning a weekend getaway for four friends, three of whom happen to be Super Heroes, and one of whom has an unfortunate tendency to be a little hard on Midgardian buildings. Rec: a continuation of Thor Pwns Walmart, and also features a good deal of BDSM Clint/Natasha. This author remains a good example of how to properly write good BDSM. Mind the warnings. Also, if BDSM isn’t your thing, I still recommend the bits in between the smut because it is hilarious and perfect. | 30.4k | Complete

#fosterson #jane foster #thor #jane x thor #thor x jane #fic recs #fosterson fic rec masterlist

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Cobra Kai Season 3: Does Young Kreese Redeem Cobra Kai’s Founding Sensei?

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This article contains Cobra Kai spoilers.

Cobra Kai season 3 revealed the backstory we didn’t know we wanted – the harrowing Vietnam experience of Cobra Kai’s biggest villain, Sensei John Kreese (Martin Kove). Cobra Kai has been on point when it comes to filling in the personal histories of their characters. The writing team of Josh Heald, Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, and Bob Dearden have keen eyes for details and find reasonable justifications for the actions of its villains. Johnny’s (William Zabka) abusive father Sid (Ed Answer) has provided some redemption to his character’s initial villainy. But Kreese has remained villainous throughout the entire franchise. We don’t need to rehab all the villains, do we?

Kreese’s origin tale is told across three episodes. Despite their brevity, they’re packed with clever Easter eggs for fans to find over repeated viewings and tricky red herrings that toy with fan expectations. They also give us clues to what season 4 might bring.

Enlisting Kreese and His Son

Episode 2 “Nurture vs. Nature” begins with the grill of that iconic yellow 1947 Ford Deluxe, the very model that received Daniel’s (Ralph Macchio) wax on wax off treatment. As the car pulls into a soda shop, the driver is a cocky kid in a varsity jacket with a bullying attitude. He even says “They’re the opponent. You don’t show them mercy,” but in a quick Cobra Kai red herring, it’s not Kreese. The owner of that Ford is the first bully of the canon. Young Kreese (Barrett Carnahan) is his server who gets bullied mercilessly.

The exquisite irony here is in the casting. Playing the Varsity Captain David is Jesse Kove, the son of actor Martin Kove. It’s a deliciously brilliant play by Cobra Kai. The first person to bully anyone in the history of the franchise and set off the chain of events that led to the formation of Kreese’s ultimate villainy is played by the actor’s son.

The rest of the flashback scenes reveal how Young Kreese’s hard luck life became the building blocks of his character. His mother committed suicide and is branded as crazy, giving rise to the implication that Kreese may have inherited some of his mother’s mental illness. Kreese is a naturally gifted fighter. When pushed, he is able to defend himself against the Varsity Captain and his thug buddy, and steal David’s girlfriend Betsy (Emily Marie Palmer). However, with few options for advancement at the soda shop, he enlists for the Vietnam War and heads out for basic training at Monterey. He wants to be a hero.

Episode 2 has an unusually redemptive moment for the present-day Kreese. We see him do something good for a change. Kreese reaches out to Tory (Peyton List), offering her free tuition to come back to his Cobra Kai Dojo. While he’s visiting her, he picks up on the fact that she is being sexually harassed by her landlord, Rodney (Grayson Berry). Kreese returns and solves that for her in his usual Cobra Kai way, by striking first, striking hard and showing no mercy. Although recruiting Tory back into his fold serves his own selfish purposes, he does get her out of a sticky situation, but it’s not enough to redeem him entirely.

Prisoner of War

Episode 6 “King Cobra” takes Young Kreese to Vietnam in 1968, where he is pulled aside by Captain Turner (Terry Serpico) to join his special team. Serpico bears a passing resemblance to actor Anthony Michael Hall, so much so that many fans thought it was him, sparking a wave of chatter on the web and subsequent articles refuting the mistaken identity. Given the playfulness of Cobra Kai casting, perhaps Hall will have a cameo in season 4.

Turner is the second significant bully to shape Kreese’s villainy. He instructs Young Kreese in the martial art he learned in Korea from Master Kim Sun-Yung and it’s not Karate. It’s Tang Soo Do. This resolves an issue that martial arts savvy fans have had with the series since the original films. The martial arts choreographer for The Karate Kid was Master Pat E. Johnson, who also played the Referee throughout the original trilogy. Johnson is a black belt in Tang Soo Do under Chuck Norris and well respected within the martial world. Martial arts aficionados always knew that the style propagated in the Cobra Kai Dojo was more like Tang Soo Do than Karate, so the quick clarification was welcomed. Despite this being Chuck Norris’ foundation style, most Americans don’t know enough about the martial arts to know about Tang Soo Do even today. During the era when the Cobra Kai Dojo was founded, Tang Soo Do school owners advertised Karate instead as a marketing ploy so this tiny rectification resolved a lot for martial savvy fans of the show.

Cobra Kai Season 3: What Happened to Aisha and Stingray?

By Gene Ching

Cobra Kai: How the Show’s Martial Arts Level Up in Season 3

By Gene Ching

Zabka continued to study under Johnson after the original film wrapped and that still shows in his fight scenes in Cobra Kai. And given that season 4 is headed back to the All-Valley Karate Tournament, Johnson would make for a great returning cameo.

Young Kreese pulls two of his comrades into Captain Turner’s special team, Twig (Nick Marini) and Ponytail (Seth Kemp) teasing another major cameo that fans are anticipating for season 4 – Terry Silver (Thomas Ian Griffith), the main villain from The Karate Kid Part III. Silver was Kreese’s old war buddy and he rocked a sleezy ponytail years before Steven Seagal broke into the movies. Silver has been referenced throughout Cobra Kai, and many fans believe the phone call Kreese makes at the end of season 3 is to him, so his inclusion in Young Kreese’s Vietnam years was essential.

Turner establishes the foundation of the Cobra Kai creed while training Kreese, Twig and Ponytail when he espouses his philosophy “No hesitation, no second thoughts and no mercy.” It’s only a short jump from that to “Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy.” However, their mission goes awry. Radio feedback gives away Ponytail’s position as he is laying explosives in the enemy camp and the whole team is captured. And then, shockingly, Ponytail is executed right in front of Young Kreese, Captain Turner and Twig. It’s another superb red herring. Clearly, Ponytail is not Silver. Twig is Silver.

Twig’s parting line to Kreese is “I owe you man, you saved my ass. Anything you need, I’m there for you, your whole life. You hear me Johnny? Your whole life. I owe you.” We’re all expecting payback in season 4.

The Snake Pit of PTSD

The Kreese back story concludes in the season finale “December 19.” As Captain Turner’s special team is imprisoned in a bamboo cage, Kreese blames himself for their failure. Turner taunts him about it, deepening the psychological damage. The weight of that guilt surely drives Kreese’s psychosis.

Their captors force Kreese to fight Turner to the death over a snake pit. Cobra Kai overplays that. There’s a lot of snakes in that pit, dozens of them, but they appear to be constrictors, not cobras. When Young Kreese kicks Turner into the pit, we can hear them striking, but constrictors don’t strike. They constrict. It’s a picky point, and it’s understandable that the show creators went for the quantity with a brimming bed of snakes for dramatic effect, but it was a heavy-handed play. A lone king cobra would have been better. King cobras are indigenous to Vietnam albeit endangered now. And a king cobra is the world’s longest venomous snake averaging 12 feet in length. The largest measured one was over 19 feet long. A cobra would strike, first and hard.

We already know the rest of Kreese’s story. He returns from Vietnam as a hero, as well as martial arts champion, but he’s psychologically scarred. Season 3 made us understand Kreese’s motivations and justifies his character flaws, but it doesn’t absolve him. We honor our military veterans for their service and now have a better sense of post-traumatic stress disorder, but no one has the right to stand above the law, no matter how much they have sacrificed. Will Kreese finally have to answer for his wrongdoings? Or will he find peace? We’ll just have to wait for season 4 to see.

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Cobra Kai season 3 is available on Netflix.

The post Cobra Kai Season 3: Does Young Kreese Redeem Cobra Kai’s Founding Sensei? appeared first on Den of Geek.

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peterstanslizzie · 5 years

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Lizzie Mcguire (2020): My Thoughts On The New Photos

25 OCT 2019: The Lizzie Mcguire fandom has had a field day today. After the release of the B+W Mcguire family dinner photo by Terri Minsky on Instagram a couple of days ago, we are treated once again with a number of photos released by the cast members themselves on their social media handles.

Photo #1: Jake Thomas as Matt Mcguire in the re-creation of the original show’s intro

- Jake confirmed on his Instagram that this photo is ‘official’. By official, I think he means that this shot was taken from the actual opening credits of the new series.

- His long-sleeved shirt looks almost identical to the one he originally wore when he was 10. There are a couple of differences. One, the tiger print on his shirt looks more orangey-gold as well as the rings that go around both his upper arms. Plus, his shirt is a zip-shirt that seems to layer over a plain, white one.

- It seems like the producers are trying to re-create the original opening credits or at least modernise it? In the original opening, Matt was busy chasing the red ball away from Lizzie and her friends or trying to steal it from them. In this photo, he is getting hit in the head by the red ball. I wonder what will the rest of them be doing?

Photo #2: The Mcguire Family Photo (in colour)

- This photo shows Hallie Todd (Jo), Jake Thomas (Matt), Hilary Duff (Lizzie) and Robert Carradine (Sam) all standing in the middle of the Mcguires’ living room, that is currently under construction. Given that the end of October marks the start of production of the new show, all the main sets are currently being built at the moment.

- In the original series, the main sets were the Mcguires’ family home, Hillridge Junior High, Hillridge Elementary and the Digital Bean. I’m curious to find out what the main locations will be for this new series.

- I also wonder if this house of theirs is the same home as the one in the original series or maybe it could be a different home that the Mcguire family had moved into? Whatever it is, the house is gonna look incredible.

- Also, notice how Hilary is holding a blue document in her left hand? I believe that’s the script for the first episode, episode #101. And if we zoom in, we are able to see that the name of the first episode is: ‘13 Going On 30′. There is no other title perfect for this episode since we already know that Lizzie is celebrating her 30th birthday in the first episode. It’s also an homage paid to the movie of the same title, which starred Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo.

- I’ve gotten a few comments on my Instagram about Robert Carradine’s hair and they were asking whether or not he is going to cut his hair short. Personally, I don’t have an opinion on how his hair should look. As long as he is in this show, I’m all good. And we also need to remember that Robert is now in his 60s. So, any mean comments about his looks should just go away.

Photo #3: Hallie’s Todd Ren-Mar Studios ID Pass

- I did some research on Ren-Mar Studios online and it’s actually the same studio in Hollywood where the original Lizzie Mcguire series was filmed and produced. So, the new 2020 show is in good hands in terms of set design and overall production.

- In comparison, Raven’s Home is produced by ‘It’s a Laugh’ productions and That’s So Raven was produced by ‘Brookwell McNamara Entertainment’, which also produced Hilary’s 2004 movie, Raise Your Voice. I made this comparison because I feel like there is a difference in production quality between That’s So Raven and Raven’s Home. But that could be due to budget allocation and things like that. Anyways, I am really happy the producers of Lizzie Mcguire decided to use the same studio again.

- Other shows that were filmed here include Ally McBeal, Seinfeld and The Golden Girls. Hilary Duff also had some of her music videos filmed in this particular studio as well!

Photo #4: Last but not least, Lalaine’s teaser of Adam Lamberg

- Lalaine seems to be one of the ones who likes to give us fans discrete clues. First of all, after the announcement of the new revival series in Disney Expo 2019 back in August, she edited her Instagram profile description and changed it to ‘Re-boot(s)’, which indicates that she’s coming back to reprise her role as Miranda Sanchez.

- And now, she posted this screenshot of her phone, which shows a message that was sent to her by Adam Lamberg (Gordo). If this doesn’t tell us that Gordo isn’t coming back, I don’t know what will. I don’t think Lalaine would tease us like that for no reason.

- I really think that they are saving a photo of Adam Lamberg till later on. I predict that a group photo of Hilary, Adam and Lalaine will surface sooner or later. We gotta keep our eyes peeled for that.

Closing Thoughts

- Basically, production has started and sets are being built for the new 2020 series. Once that is all completed, filming will start henceforth. We still haven’t gotten any sort of official statement from Disney or Disney Plus about the confirmed cast. But, getting info/updates from the cast and writers themselves on social media is good enough for me. That’s the power of being connected through social media.

- But we can pretty much guarantee that Lizzie’s brother and parents are returning. Miranda and Ethan are both hinted to be coming back as both their actors are currently being followed by Hilary Duff and the writers on Instagram. Of course, with Adam, it’s tricky because he doesn’t have Instagram but judging from the screenshot posted by Lalaine, I am 90% sure he is returning.

- That leaves us with Kate, Larry, Melina and Lanny. I have a feeling they might not be coming back, at least maybe for the first season. But there is always the possibility that they can work out some deal with Disney in the future, where they will get to guest star in later seasons.

- That’s my take on all of this. Thank you for reading this long post and have a great day ahead!

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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years

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The Weekend Warrior February 21, 2020 – CALL OF THE WILD, BRAHMS: THE BOY II, THE IMPRACTICAL JOKERS MOVIE, EMMA and more!

After overestimating Birds of Prey… I mean, Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey… it looks like I underestimated Paramount’s Sonic the Hedgehog… I mean Jim Carrey’s Dr. Robotnik… with Sonic. It truly spanked my lowball prediction in the mid-$40 millions, but I wasn’t alone there at least. Hey, it’s a fun movie and my positive review wasn’t off-base with the critical world at large, so there’s that, too. (Apparently, I liked both Downhill and Fantasy Island more than most people, including CinemaScore voters who gave the movies a “D” and “C-“ respectively… ouch!)

This is likely to be another down week as neither of the two new movies are particularly strong, which gives me a chance to focus instead on this week’s FEATURED MOVIES! And we have four of ‘em this week, no less!

That’s right. I think it’s time I go back to my previous desire to use this column to focus on smaller movies that you may have missed since very few of the bigger outlets bother to cover them, and there’s a few worth pointing out this week. I’m gonna start with the two foreign films, because hopefully, you’ve listened to Bong Joon-ho and his translator and are not as fearful of subtitles…

First up, opening on Wednesday at New York’s Film Forumis Jan Komasa’s CORPUS CHRISTI (Film Movement), Poland’s selection for the Oscar International Feature category, which was actually nominated for an Oscar in the category in which everyone already knew Parasite was always gonna win! It’s a shame, cause this is a really amazing film with Bartosz Bielenia playing Daniel, a troubled youth just out of juvenile hall who steals the trappings and identity of the youth prison’s pastor and is therefore mistaken as an actual priest when he arrives at a small community village that has suffered a tragic loss. It’s an amazing film about faith and forgiveness and redemption, and how the script came to Komasa from screenwriter Mateusz Pacewic is an equally amazing story. Seriously, if you get a chance, definitely check this powerful drama out, since it’s another fantastic film from a country that has continually been delivering the goods in terms of original storytelling.

I was just going to do three featured movies this week, but a really good German thriller is finally hitting the States, opening at the Quad in New York Friday then in L.A. on March 13 before a nationwide rollout. Michael Bully Herbig’s incredibly suspenseful German thriller BALLOON (Distrib Films USA) is about two families from the GDR (aka East Germany) who try to cross over into West Germany in 1979 using a hot air balloon, over a decade before the fall of the Berlin Wall. Based on the actual events, their story previously was adapted into the Disney movie Night Crossing (which oddly, isn’t on Disney+ yet-- I checked, but it’s on Amazon Prime if you wanna compare the two movies). The movie doesn’t spend nearly as much time in the balloon as something like The Aeronauts, as the family’s first attempt fails miserably, so much of the film involves them working towards a second attempt, while trying not to be caught.

Balloon is a pretty heavy film (irony?), sometimes a little overwrought with drama but it keeps you on the edge of your seat as it cuts between the families trying to figure out their escape plan and the authorities trying to put together the clues to find these defectors. There’s a particularly amusing man in charge of the investigation, played by the always-amazing Thomas Kretschmann (The Pianist), who is constantly berating his men, something that helps lighten the otherwise heavy tone that permeates the film. This is another fairly low-key foreign film that’s worth seeking out.

Another movie people should make an effort to seek out is Rashaad Ernesto Green’s PREMATURE (IFC Films), an amazing film that follows the relationship between two young people in Harlem over the course of a summer. We first meet Zora Howard’s Ayanna as she’s hanging with her friends kibitzing about boys, as they begin their last summer before Ayanna heads to college. Shortly after, she meets Josh Boone’s Isaiah, and the two hit it off. The rest of the film follows the ups and downs of their relationship including incredibly intimate moments that lead up to Ayanna getting pregnant.

I won’t go through the plot play-by-play style, because it’s interesting to discover the twist and turns in their relationship in a similar way as we do our own relationships. Needless to say Green has a pretty amazing partner and lead in Howard, who co-wrote the screenplay, which is probably why it feels so authentic and real. Sure, there are a few scenes between Howard and Boone, both fantastic actors, that feel a bit too showy dramatically but otherwise, it’s a fantastic second feature from Green who has mainly been directing TV since his earlier film Gun Hill Road. I’ll definitely be very curious to see what Green and Howard get up to next either alone or working together.

Opening in New York and L.A. this Friday but in theaters nationwide on March 6 is the latest incarnation of Jane Austen’s novel EMMA. (Focus Features), this time starring the wonderful Anya Taylor-Joy (from The VVitchand Split/Glass) as the title character, Emma Woodhouse, a 28-year-old matchmaker who prides herself on the relationships she’s put together even while unable to find her own mate. The film follows as the latter starts coming in the way of the former as she infiltrates herself into things as an “expert on love” who can’t find it herself.

Maybe it’s not surprising that I haven’t read much of Austen’s work and have missed this one altogether, never having seen any of the other iterations, but it’s a fairly wild and witty ride. Much of that is due to the amazing and wonderful cast around the young actor, the most surprising behind Mia Goth, who is in fact three years older than Taylor-Joy, but plays the younger wide-eyed Harriet who looks up to Emma and elicits her advice. Emma basically steers Harriet from the farmer she likes to Josh O’Connor’s Mr. Elton, the wealthy local vicar who is more than a little bit of a dark. This leads to a bit of a revolving door of who is interested in whom, etc especially when Emma’s nemesis Jane Fairfax (Amber Anderson) returns to Hartfield.

Some of the other men in the mix are Johnny Flynn’s dashing George Knightley – the brother-in-law to Emma’s sister – and Callum Turner’s wealthy Frank Churchill, whose attentions lead to more misunderstandings. Both were great but I was more impressed with O’Connor who transforms into a completely other person when Emma spurns his affections and seems like a different person from the way first-time features director (and photographer) Autumn de Wilde shoots him. Of course, Bill Nighy is as great as always as Emma’s father, always feeling a slight draft, but even more impressive is the wonderfully hilarious Miranda Hart (from Spy) as Miss Bates, a woman who gabs at length about how wonderful Jane Fairfax is, much to Emma’s annoyance. As much as Emma. is Anya Taylor-Joy’s show, it’s the ensemble cast around her that makes the movie so infinitely enjoyable, getting better as it goes along.

This is a very good first feature from de Wilde, who has directed quite a number of music videos for Beck, and Emma. seems very different from the movies we normally get from video directors, much of that to do with Austen’s source material and the cast. Either way, how things develop over the course of the film makes it more enjoyable as it goes along. (Although I have never read the book, the film seems fairly faithful to the book’s Wikipedia page, so Austen fans should enjoy it, too.)

I guess we can now get to the wide and semi-wide releases and the rest of the movies – merging my two columns into one means you get more 5,000-word columns, you lucky ducks!

The higher-profile of the two new wide releases is probably CALL OF THE WILD (20thCentury Studios), a PG adaptation of Jack London’s classic novel starring Harrison Ford and the most adorable CG dog (i.e. not real, so back off PETA!) you’ve ever met named Buck! Sure, dog lovers might say, “Why would we want to watch a movie with a CG dog when clearly, a movie with actors in green suits turned into dogs using CG would suffice?” But no, it’s actually a very heavily CG movie directed by Chris Sanders, who directed Lilo & Sitch, the first How to Train Your Dragon and The Croods before giving a go at live action. (Sanders also provided quite a few voices in earlier animated films like Disney’s Mulan and Tarzan.)

A film that already was well into production when Disney bought Fox (now 20thCentury Studios), Call of the Wild also stars Omar Sy (returning for next year’s “Jurassic World” finale), Karen Gillan, Dan Stevens, Bradley Whitford but the real star of the movie is the dog Buck, which is performed by the immensely talented Terry Notary, who you’ll know for his work on the “Apes” movies with Andy Serkis, Kong: Skull Island and some of the characters in the last couple “Avengers” movies.

Of course, opening the weekend after Paramount’s Sonic the Hedgehog, which has turned out to be a bigger hit than anyone imagined, certainly won’t help The Call of the Wild.

In many ways, this reminds me of the 2002 Disney movie Snow Dogs, which opened with $17.8 million over the 4-day MLK weekend. The combination of Ford (who appears in very few movies) and the adorable dog antics might be enough for the movie to make $15 to 17 million this weekend, maybe a little more, although it only has two weeks to do business before Disney’s next Pixar movie, Onward, takes over, not giving it much time to make bank.

Mini-Review: It’s pretty evident that this exceedingly faithful take on Jack London’s book will not be for everyone. While I personally was mixed, I expect this to be one of the rare positive reviews just ‘cause. Surprisingly, it’s also the most “Disneyfied” movie that could possibly come from the newly-renamed 21stCentury Studios as it’s a movie clearly made for kids and animal lovers even if never the ‘twain shall meet, in some cases.

The story follows a large St. Bernard named Buck (portrayed by Terry Notary – but we’ll get back to that), who begins his life as the spoiled and pampered pet of a wealthy judge in California but is sold to a man who trains Buck with his club sending the dog on a wild journey across the Yukon as part of a dog sled for a pair of Canadian postal workers (played by Omar Sy and Cara Gee from “The Expanse”). Eventually, he’s paired with an alcoholic frontiersman (Harrison Ford) and he finds true love, as the two of them go off looking (and finding) gold.

Some might be surprised that director Chris Sanders (who has an extensive animation background) decided to go for straight-up CG when depicting the animals and some of the environments in Call of the Wild. In fact, it feels almost necessary to make Buck as expressive as he needs to be to carry this film, and that’s where Terry Notary (Andy Serkis’ partner-in-performance-capture from the “Apes” movies) and the CG team comes in handy. Buck is already lovable but being able to make him so expressive doesn’t hurt, and the scenes where he’s interacting with other animals are pretty amazing.

We do have to discuss the negatives, and one of them is the episodic nature of Buck’s story that means that Harrison Ford, other than the narration and a brief appearance, doesn’t play a large part in Buck’s story until about the 45-minute mark. I didn’t think much of the performances by Sy and Gee or Dan Steven and Karen Gillan as the spoiled rich people who buy Buck to drive their dog sled off to find gold. Buck’s experiences as part of the first dog sled is far more positive even though it’s rigorous and it puts him at odd with the dog pack leader. The problem is that most of the human actors don’t come close to delivering what Notary does as Buck, the exception being Ford, but it’s still one of those odd CG-live action amalgations that doesn’t always work.

If you’re fond of Jack London’s Arctic adventures (as I generally am), Call of the Wild offers as much good as it does bad, but it’s worthwhile more for the amazing vistas and terrific use of CG (and Terry Notary’s performance as Buck) than anything else.

Rating: 6.5/10

I won’t have a chance to see the horror sequel BRAHMS: THE BOY II (STXfilms), but I never got around to seeing the first movie either, although this one, starring Katie Holmes, does look kind of fun. 2020 has not been a great year for horror so far with almost a new horror every weekend and few doing particularly well – The Grudge tops the heap with just $21 million and that opened almost two months ago!

I really don’t have a lot to say about this other than the fact that the original The Boy(not to be confused with The Boy, The Boy or The Boy, which are also movies about a different “Boy”), also directed by William Brent Bell, opened in January 2016 to $10.8 million on its way to $35.8 million domestic but it also opened at a time when there were no strong horror films in theaters. Some could argue that there are still no strong horror films in theaters, especially since so many of them quickly lost theaters after bombing. Still, there have been a lot this year already and the most recent one, Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island underperformed this past weekend, so why would anyone want more?

STXfilms’ marketing has been solid even as this moved from its December release to now, but I still think it will be tough for this to make more than $10 million this weekend and probably will end up closer to $8 million or less.

Opening in limited release but also sure to be exciting to the fans of the TruTV hidden camera prank show is IMPRACTICAL JOKERS: THE MOVIE, which brings the hilarious Tenderloins comedy troop – Q, Murr, Sal and Joe -- to the big screen as they go off on a cross-country adventure to attend a party in Florida, playing their usual prank-filled games to see which three get to attend. At this writing, I have no idea how many theaters it’s opening – I’m assuming 150 to 200 maybe? – so no idea how it might do although there are already some sold out showings in my general area (NYC) where the guys are from.

Mini-Review: It feels like there need to be two reviews for this movie – one for those who already know and love the show and find the Tenderloins hysterical (this includes me) —and then one for everyone else. The former can probably skip the next paragraph.

The Tenderloins are a group of four Staten Island friends (names above) whose antics led to a successful TruTV hidden camera show where they pull pranks and challenge each other to say and do whatever they’re told. The show has run eight seasons, and it’s made the Tenderloins such big stars they regularly sell out enormous venues (like Radio City Music Hall) to perform live for their fans. Considering the success Johnny Knoxville’s “Jackass” show has had in movie theaters where it can take advantage of an R-rating, there’s little reason why the “Impractical Jokers” shouldn’t be able to do the same. (For some context, I watched this movie with a theater full of the group’s friends, crew as well as Q’s firehouse buddies, in other words, 75% of Staten Island.)

The movie, directed by Chris Henchy, long time McKay and Ferrell collaborator – the film is presented by their “Funny or Die” brand –opens with one of a number of scripted/staged scenes to frame the road trip the Tenderloins to attend a party in Miami being held by Paula Abdul. Since they only have three passes, they need to compete in their usual challenges to determine who misses out.

If you are a fan of the show, I’m not going to spoil any of the challenges or pranks they plan on each other, but they generally get better and funnier as the movie goes along, to the point that when it returns to the “story” and the scripted stuff, the movie does falter a little. Although the Tenderloins aren’t the greatest actors, they are great improvisers and you can tell when they’re coming up with lines by the seat of their pants.

The majority of the movie is basically what we see on the show without all of the commercial breaks cutting in just as things start to get outrageous, and as someone who watches more of the show than I probably should admit, I find it hard to believe no one watching the movie will at least get one good snicker out of the movie. There are a few recurring gags throughout the movie as well as a follow-up to a memorable punishment from an earlier season. (Like with the show, you’re likely to feel bad for Murr and Sal, the nicer half of the group who always get the most abuse because of it.)

If you’re already a fan of the Impractical Jokers, you’ll probably like the movie, but if not, you might not get it and there’s just no real use trying. In other words, not a great intro to the “Impractical Jokers” but a fine bit of fun for the already-converted.

Rating: 6.5/10

This week’s Top 10 should look something like this…

1. Sonic the Hedgehog (Paramount) - $29 million -50% (up $1.5 million)**

2. Call of the Wild (20th Century) - $17 million N/A (up .3 million)** 3. Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey (Warner Bros) - $9 million -48%

4. Brahms: The Boy II (STXfilms) - $7 million N/A (down .6 million)**

5. Bad Boys for Life (Sony) - $6 million -48% (down .1 million)**

6. The Photograph (Universal) – $5.5 million -55% (down .6 million)**

7. Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island (Sony) - $5.3 million -57%

8. 1917 (Universal) - $5 million -38%

9. Parasite (NEON) - $3.6 million -35%

10. Jumanji: The Next Level (Sony) - $3.3 million -42%

-- The Impractical Jokers Movie (TruTV) - $1.8 million*

-- Las Pildoras de mi Novio (Pantelion/Lionsgate) - $1.3 million*

* These last two projections are made without much info on either movie, including theater counts for the former.

**A few minor tweaks as we go into weekends with actual theater counts, although this weekend will still mostly be about Sonic the Hedgehog. I still don’t have any theater counts for Impractical Jokers on Thursday night so I guess we’ll just have to see if the theaters playing it report to Rentrak and it gets some sort of placement, presumably outside the top 10, on Sunday.

LIMITED RELEASES

There are lots of other new limited releases this weekend beyond the ones I mentioned above.

On Wednesday night, Fathom Events is releasing Masaaki Yuasa’s new movie RIDE YOUR WAVE (GKIDS) across the nation for one night only in some places, although it will get a limited release on Friday at New York’s Village East and maybe other places, as well. If you’ve seen any of Yuasa’s other films like 2017’s The Night is Short, Walk on Girl or Lu Over the Wall or Mind Game, then you can probably expect this to be another wild ride, except this time it’s on a surfboard. It follows the story of a surfer and a firefighter who fall in love. You can learn more about how to get tickets here.

Like Portrait of a Lady on Fire last week, Una director Benedict Andrews’ SEBERG (Amazon) received a one-week release in 2019 but it’s getting a legit limited release this Friday. It stars Kristen Stewart as French New Wave icon Jean Seberg who came to the States in the late ‘60s and began a relationship with civil rights leader Hakim Jamal (Anthony Mackie), putting her in the sights of the FBI who were hoping to use her to bust the Black Panthers. The film also stars Jack O’Connell, Margaret Qualley, Vince Vaughn, and Stephen Root, and it’s a pretty solid historical drama, although I haven’t seen it so long I’m not sure I can say much more about that.

I was never a huge fan of Bob Dylan or the Band but I found Daniel Roher’s doc ONCE WERE BROTHERS: ROBBIE ROBERTSON AND THE BAND (Magnolia) (about the latter) to be quite compelling as the story is told by various people who were there, including the film’s exec. producer Martin Scorsese who directed the band’s legendary concert film The Last Waltz. This is also produced by Ron Howard and Brian SGrazer of Imagine, so you know it’s gonna be a quality music doc, and it certainly is, although I’m not sure it will be of that much interest to people who aren’t already fans of The Band.

Opening in roughly 350 theaters this weekend is LAS PILDORAS DE MI NOVIO (Pantelion), translated as “My Boyfriend’s Meds,” a comedy about a woman (Sandra Echeverria) who falls for a mattress store owner who suffers from multiple personality disorder and when they go on vacation… he forgets to bring along his meds! Humor abounds. As usual, this won’t screen in advance for critics.

Tye Sheridan stars with Knives Out’s Ana De Armas in Michael Cristofer’s thriller The Night Clerk (Saban Films), Sheridan plays a hotel clerk with Asperger’s Syndrome who witnesses a murder in one of the rooms but ends up as the main suspect by the lead detective, played by John Leguizamo. The film also stars Helen Hunt and it will be released in select theaters (including New York’s Cinema Village), on demand and digitally this Friday. Just couldn’t into this one, having at least one good friend with Asperger’s, due to the way Sheridan played this often-debilitating disease. (Think Rain Man without the talent of Dustin Hoffman.)

Opening exclusively at theMetrographFriday with an expansion on March 3 is Portugese filmmaker Bruno de Almeida’s Cabaret Maxime (Giant Pictures), starring Michael Imperioli as Bennie Gaza, the owner and manager of the title nightclub specializing in a mix of burlesque, striptease, music and comedy. Bennie is fairly old-fashioned so when a modern day (translation: trashy and demeaning to women) strip club opens across the way, Bennie finds himself pressure to make changes to stay in line as he starts getting pressure from his mobster financer to change. I was kinda mixed on this movie, which delivers another typically great performance from Imperioli but the way it cuts between various acts and disparate scenes that do very little to move the story forward (including the far-more-interesting subplot about Bennie’s wife Stella, a performer suffering from depression, as played by the amazing Ana Padrão). I think one of the reasons I just couldn’t get into the movie is cause a friend of mine attempted a similar film based out of a nightclub and the film never got much traction. De Almeida should have paid more attention developing the storytelling than showing off his talented musical singing/dancing friends.

A second Portugese filmmaker, Pedro Costa, also releases a new film this week. Vitalina Varela (Grasshopper Film) will open at New York’s Film at Lincoln Center on Friday. The title of the film is also the name of the non-actor who returns from Costa’s Horse Moneyto play a woman from Cape Verdean who comes to Fontainhas for her estranged husband’s funeral and sets up a new life there.

Also opening at the Quad Friday is the latest from the Dardenne Brothers, Young Ahmed (Kino Lorber) about a 13-year-old (Idir ben Addi) who has come under the grips of radical jihadism in his Belgian town, putting him at odds with various factions. When he carries out an act of violence, he ends up in a juvenile detention facility. The Dardennes won the Best Director award at last year’s Cannes Film Festival, where their films have been honored with the Palme d’Or twice. I’ve never been much of a fan but what do I know?

Opening at the IFC Center Wednesday is Nicolas Champeaux, Gilles Porte’s documentary The State Against Mandela and the Others, which is built around recently recovered audio recordings of the 1963-4 Rivona trial in which Nelson Mandela and eight others faced death sentences for challenging Apartheid. The film mixes animation showing the trails with contemporary interviews with the survivors including Winnie Mandela, about their fight against the country’s corrupt system.

Another doc I know little about is Andrew Goldberg’s Viral: Antisemitism in Four Mutations, which will open at the Village East Friday but it includes the likes of Julianna Margulies, Tony Blair and Bill Clinton as anti-semitism rears its ugly head over 70 years after the end of World War II and the Holocaust.

Also opening at Cinema Village is Matt Ratner’s Standing Up, Falling Down (Shout! Studios) starring Billy Crystal and Ben Schwartz (the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog!), the latter playing a stand-up comic whose L.A. dreams have crashed and burned leaving him with little money, forcing him to return to Long Island. Once there, he pines over his ex (Eloise Mumford) and becomes friends with an eccentric dermatologist (Crystal) as they help each other deal with their respective failures.

Playing at the Roxy for a one-week run starting Friday is Sam De Jong’s Goldie (Film Movement), starring actress/model Slick Woods as the title character, a teenager in a family shelter pursuing her dreams of being a dancer while trying to keep her sisters together. This premiered at the Tribeca Film Festivallast year.

Oscilloscope (the distributor that brought you the cat doc Kedi) is doing something called “Cat Video Fest 2020,” which will take place at the Alamo in Brooklyn (although the Saturday screening is sold out there) and the Village East Cinema. This screening of pre-selected cat videos is also taking place at other cities throughout the country, and you can find out where right here.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

This Friday, the Metrograph will debut its newest series “Climate Crisis Parabels,” a series of varied future shock films, this weekend with Robert Bresson’s The Devil, Probably (1977), Steven Spielberg’s 2001 film A.I.: Artificial Intelligence, Miyazaki’s Princess Mononoke (1999) (hosted by Naomi Klein Sunday afternoon, but also playing as part of the Playtime Family Matinees”) and Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner: The Final Cu ton Sunday night. “To Hong Kong with Love” also continues with screenings of Stanley Kwan’s Rouge (1987) and the 2016 film Raise the Umbrellas. The ongoing Welcome To Metrograph: Redux also continues with HarunFarocki’sdocumentary Before Your Eyes: Vietnam (1981). This week’s Late Nites at Metrograph is another Japanese thriller, Hiroshi Teshigahara’s 1966 thriller The Face of Another, and the Metrograph’s Japanese love continues as Playtime: Family Matinees will also show Miyazaki’s Princess Mononoke from 1999.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

Tonight’s “Weird Wednesday” is Ken Russell’s 1987 film Gothic, and this week’s “Kids Camp” offering is the 2006 animated Curious George with a special “pick your own price.” In preparation for the release of Emma. On Friday, the Alamo is doing a “Champagne Cinema” screening of the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, starring Keira Knightley, which unfortunately, is sold out already. (Waugh Waugh) Monday’s “Out of Tune” is the Prince film Under the Cherry Moon from 1986, which is also sold out. (Hey, Jeremy Wein, why don’t you tell me these things are going on sale so I can go!?!) Next week’s “Terror Tuesday” is the horror classic Candyman (1992), which is ALSO almost sold out and then we’re back to “Weird Wednesday” with next week’s offering, 1985’s soft-core actioneer Gwendoline.

If you’re one of those poor souls living in L.A., you can also go to see Don Coscarelli’s 2002 film Bubba Ho-Tep, starring Bruce Campbell, on Wednesday night or the 1986 Little Shop of Horrors on Thursday at the grand, new(ish) Alamo Drafthouse Cinema Downtown Los Angeles. Saturday afternoon is a matinee of Steven Soderbergh’s Out of Sight (1998), starring George Clooney and J-Lo and Saturday night, you can see Cassavetes’ Minnie and Moskowitz (1971), starring Seymour Cassel and Gena Rowlands. Monday night is Juliet Bashore’s 1986 Kamikaze Hearts, which looked into the X-rated SF underground of the ‘80s. The West Coast “Terror Tuesday” is Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 film Bram Stoker’s Dracula, starring Keanu Reeves, Gary Oldman and Winona Rider!

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Wednesday’s afternoon matinee is the classical musical The Sound of Music (1965) and then Weds and Thurs night’s double feature is Robert Redford’sThe Hot Rock (1972) and Cops and Robber (1973). Friday’s matinee is the late Tony Scott’s The Hunger (1983) and then the Tarantino-pennedTrue Romance (1993, also directed by Scott), will play Friday midnight and Saturday’s midnight movie is the 1967 film Carmen, Baby. This weekend’s Kiddee Mattine is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005). Monday’s matinee is Terrence Malick’s Badlands (1973) and the Monday night double feature is A Man for All Seasons(1966) and The Mission (1986). Tuesday’s Grindhouse double feature is 1980’s Super Fuzz and 1977’s Death Promise, both in 35mm, of course.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Weds’ “Black Voices” movie is William Greaves’ 1968 film Symbiopsychotaxiplasm, and then on Friday night in the Spielberg Theater, you can see the 1913 film Traffic in Souls with live music as well as a couple shorts. The Japanese horror film Kwaidan(1965) will play in the normal theater. On Saturday, the Egyptian is presenting “Leigh Whannell’s Thrill-A-thon” a series of four films that helped to inspire Leigh Whannell’s The Invisible Man, which comes out next week with some great options worth seeing, including 1987’s Fatal Attraction, David Fincher’s 2014 film Gone Girl, Rob Reiner’s Stephen King adaptation Misery(1990) and the classic Aussie thriller Dead Calm(1989) starring Nicole Kidman … all for just 15 bucks!

AERO (LA):

The AERO’s “Black Voices” film for Weds. is the great Stir Crazy, starring Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor, and then on Thursday afternoon, you can see Stanley Kubrick’s 1964 classicDr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb for $8 (free to Cinemateque members!) New restoration of the Russian film Come and See (also opening at the Film Forum in New York) will play on Saturday evening as part of the “Antiwar Cinema” series. Sunday’s double feature in that series is Kubrick’s Paths of Glory (1957) and the Russian film The Ascent (1977). Tuesday’s “Black Voices” matinee is Julie Dash’s Daughters of the Dust (1991) and then Greg Proops will screen the 1996 film Ridicule as part of his Film Club podcast which precedes the film.

MOMA (NYC):

Modern Matinees: Jack Lemmon continues through the end of the month with Mister Roberts (1955) on Weds., Billly Wilder’s Avanti (1972) and the classic (and one of my all-time faves) Some Like it Hot (1959) on Friday. This weekend also sees movies in the continuing “Theater of Operations” series, which will include Kathryn Bigelow’s Oscar-winning The Hurt Locker (2009) on Saturday afternoon and a bunch of docs including Werner Herzog’s 1992 film Lessons of Darkness on Sunday. Weds also kicks off “Television Movies: Big Pictures on the Small Screen” – pretty self-explanatory, I think – with 1953’s The Trip to Bountiful and 1955’s Tosca on Weds. and Sunday, 1967’s Present Laughter Thursday and Tuesday and more. (Click on the link for full schedule!) Following Film Forum’s focus on black actresses (for February, Black History Month, get it?) MOMA begins a “It’s All in Me: Black Heroines” series with All By Myself: The Eartha Kitt Story and Julie Dash’s Illusions, both from 1982, on Thursday and many more running through March 5.

ANTHOLOGY FILM ARCHIVES (NYC):

The Anthology still has a few more films in its “Devil Probably: A Century of Satanic Panic” including Eric Weston’s Evilspeak (1981) tonight in 35mm, but also David Van Taylor will be at tonight’s screening of his 1991 film Dream Deceivers. I’ve never seen either of these, by the way. Robert Eggers’ The VVitch and Alan Parker’s Angel Heart screen one more time on Thursday night, as well. This weekend also begins a new series, “Dream Dance: The Films of Ed Emshwiller” but since I have no idea who that is, I have nothing further to add. (Sorry!)

NITEHAWK CINEMA (NYC):

Williamsburgis showing David Lynch’s 1990 film Wild at Heart as part of its “Uncaged” series on Friday just after midnight and John Singleton’s Poetic Justice on Saturday morning as part of “California Love.” They’re also showing Rob Reiner’s The Princess Bride on Saturday morning for an “All-Ages Brunch Movie.”

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Elem Klimov’s 1985 Russian drama Come and See (Janus) will have a DCP restoration premiere at the Forum and Sunday afternoon will be a screening of the 1953 Mexican film El Corazon y La Espada in 3D. This weekend’s “Film Forum Jr.” is the 1953 pseudo-doc Little Fugitive. Monday night is a screening of David Rich’s Madame X (1966) introduced by actor/playwright Charles Busch.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

This weekend’s Weekend Classics: Luis Bu��uel is the Mexican film The Exterminating Angel (1962), while Waverly Midnights: Hindsight is 2020s will screen Keanu Reeves’ Johnny Mnemonic and Late Night Favorites: Winter 2020is taking a surprising weekend off.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

Still waiting to see if Pandora and the Flying Dutchman continues through the weekend, as at this time (Monday), there is nothing repertory listed.

BAM CINEMATEK(NYC):

Horace Jenkins’ Cane River continues through Friday. Saturday night’s “Beyond the Canon” is a double feature of Ida Lupino’s The Hitch-Hiker(1953) and Malick’s Badlands (1973).

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

This weekend’s “See It Big! Outer Space” offerings include1974’s Space is the Placeon Friday and 1924’s Aelita, Queen of Mars and the 1980 Flash Gordonscreening on Saturday and Sunday. As usual, 2001: A Space Odysseywill screen on Saturday afternoon as part of the ongoing exhibition.

ROXY CINEMA(NYC)

Weds’ Nicolas Cage movie is Martin Scorsese’s Bringing Out the Dead (1999) and then Thursday is a 35mm screening of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)!

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):

Friday’s midnight movie is Who Killed Roger Rabbit (1988).

STREAMING AND CABLE

Let’s see what’s going on in the world of streaming this week, shall we?

Netflix is debuting Dee (Mudbound) Rees’ new movie THE LAST THING HE WANTED on the streaming service Friday, even though apparently, it opened in select cities last week, including New York’s Paris Theater, although it got such terrible reviewsout of Sundance, maybe Netflix didn’t want any more bad reviews before it begins streaming. Regardless, it stars Anne Hathaway, Willem Dafoe, Ben Affleck and Rosie Perez, and it’s based on Joan Didion’s novel about a D.C. journalist named Elena (Hathaway) who abandons her work on the 1984 campaign trail to run an errand for her father (Dafoe). I guess I’ll watch it when it’s on Netflix just like everyone else but my expectations have been suitably lowered.

The Jordan Peele-produced series “Hunters,” starring Al Pacino, which is about a group of Nazi hunters will hit Amazon Prime this Friday as well, and a new season of the popular series“Star Wars: The Clone Wars” will debut on Friday on Disney+, adding to the amazing amount of content already available on that network.

Next week, Saw and Insidious co-creator Leigh Whannell revamps The Invisible Man for Universal with Elisabeth Moss, and there’s also (supposedly) a movie call The Ride, which I know nothing about. You can guess which movie I’ll be focusing on.

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or send me a note on Twitter. I love hearing from readers!

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replicarters · 6 years

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i was at northeast trek con this weekend, if you couldn’t deduce it from my posts that must have sounded like they were coming from some sort of hallucinatory trip. to say i had fun would be a wild understatement. if you slot this con on an alignment chart, it would be wall-to-wall chaotic good. the theme advertised was celebrating the 25th anniversary of ds9... and boy did we celebrate.

what follows is everything i feverishly tweeted about the wildest 72 hours of my life.

the only reason i went to this con at all was @thylekshran, who wanted to see one mr. jeffwey combs very badly. @jadziadax happened to say to me one night, “hey you should go to this con happening where you live to see nicole,” and i said, “wait a minute, isn’t this the con dylan wants to go to? what if i actually Did go to this?”

friday: i grabbed dylan, somehow, from the bus stop that i think didn’t quite exist on this plane. we get to the con and we walk into the exhibit hall. nicole is right by the door and i cannot look at her, so we beeline for vendor tables, and suddenly before me is an extremely familiar spread of colorful images. it takes me a minute to process it, and then i’m pointing to this table and rushing toward it going, “OH MY GOD. IT’S HER! FROM TUMBLR! OH MY GOD WHAT.” it was none other than @abravenoise selling prints!!!! i had no idea she would be there since i didn’t look at anything before i left the house. just fyi she is irl just about the nicest person i’ve ever met!!!!!! and i’m so glad we got to hang out as much as we did!

we spent the day mostly going to panels and being big baby chickens regarding jeff’s and nicole’s tables, respectively. we did end up at jg hertzler’s table A Lot, because dylan, like, is recognized?? by him and his wife??? idk dylan’s just out here charming the pants off everybody, so i was like, okay cool, this is the first thing that is Totally Fine, just chilling with martok. we also met two cool dudes through jg who really enjoyed hanging out with us, and that was great! making friends all over the place! not the first and not the last!

one thing dylan and i were bummed about was that the klingon meet & greet party that night (where jg and robert o’reilly would get in costume as martok and gowron and duel to the death) was sold out. we really really really wanted to go... so dylan just... straight up asks jg if he can get us in dhfklshdfd. and you know what? he fucking does. just... put our names right on that list! O K A Y!

the friday panels were a sign of what would be to come, every one we went to was crazy. this was my first real trek con, so of course i have never seen hertzler and o’reilly in a room together, but now i have and my third eye is open and all that. not to mention: learning that garrett wang plays pokemon go, nicole cracking up at poop jokes like i said, hertzler doodling a little shran with glasses on jeff’s sign, the con’s power point file just being named DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. everything that was happening was so good.

chase masterson had a panel about her pop culture hero coalition, and currently working for a non-profit myself, i was really curious about what kinds of programming they do, so i went to her table to talk to her about it. chase ended up talking some about the why’s of starting the coalition, what it meant to her, her own struggles with depression, and i’m thinking to myself, “uhhhhhh well if chase is gonna share about her mental health struggles, then... i... will also do this.” the nanosecond i said something about experiencing difficulty with self-love, she was zeroed in on me like a cruise missile. i spilled everything to her about my job and how my old boss was basically the meanest, most miserable person alive, and how much she got into my head and how now that i was out of that department, i had to pick up the pieces and it was proving to be much harder than it has been in the past. well, god almighty, chase just had the nicest things to say in return, and we commiserated over being your own worst critic, and how ridiculously hard it is to have this fight against yourself over and over again, but that we deserve so much and going forward is worth it. jesus christ! i got a big hug and said to myself, “holy shit i can’t wait to tell my therapist that a star trek actor talked to me about mindfulness and now i want to learn the hell out of it.”

oh but then it was time for the klingon party that we were now going to thanks to jg hertzler. this thing was off the chain immediately, martok and gowron had their duel, first with sparkling bat’leths that fell apart, and then with whole baguettes, and i can’t believe i got to watch this with my eye parts. and that was the beginning; the party would go for another 3 hours, almost all of which i spent dancing with the most generous people i’ve ever met, who went out of their way to welcome everyone they could onto the dance floor, regardless of physical ability or skill level. there was one woman in particular who, if she saw even the slightest twinkle in your eye and you weren’t already dancing with her, she’d be like, “you, get over here!” i don’t know how my body did that for all that time without falling apart.

our esteemed guests began showing up, and garrett wang leapt into the middle of our jump around circle and gave each one of us a vulcan high five. jeffrey combs showed up which of course sent dylan over the moon, and he said, “you go, girl!” to her dancing. max grodenchik gave dylan one of his drink tickets and then asked us whether or not we thought the existence of god could be proven. chase found us and reached out her hand over a couple people’s heads to give me a supportive hand squeeze (!!!???). aron eisenberg, i don’t know what the hell he was doing, but i feel like maybe somebody asked him about terry, because all of a sudden i hear something like, “terry left because she was in love with nog and couldn’t take it anymore.” garrett has three pokemon go accounts, which he showed off at my urging, and let me tell you, don’t encounter him at a gym because he has three dragonites, two tyranitars, a monster blissey, and god knows what else. dancing, dancing, more dancing. then it was time for it to be done, and time to go home. we watched reanimator. i was wired as hell and barely slept.

and THAT. was only friday.

saturday: i had kept my eyes open for a copy of the lives of dax the day before, but didn’t see anybody selling one. this morning, i walk by a booth we went to the previous day and all of sudden, on top of a bunch of other books in a big tub, there it was!!! couldn’t have forked my money over faster if i tried.

then i had this bright idea. hey... here’s a copy of lives of dax... and nicole is here... and she should sign it... and then in the future i can get terry to sign it... boom, bang, let’s do it, right? i had dylan drag me to nicole’s table because i was like, “i am never going to make even eye contact with her if you do not physically take me there,” and one of us brought up that we missed her at the klingon party. it’s cool, we all gotta sleep, right? well, it turns out nicole had gone out with the gaaays in spaaace people to the bar where they were going to have their party later. so she says garrett texts her, “uhhh hey you know you’re kinda supposed to be making an appearance at this thing, right?” nope! no clue. so she texts him back, “hmmm uhhh well,” takes another sip of her drink, “i think i’m doing good work here.”

the thing about nicole that i somehow missed in my drinking in of all ds9 actor content is that she embodies pure shitposter energy, but if the shitposts were coming from a wine mom. she’s hysterical, 50% intentionally and 50% unintentionally. an extremely excellent human. she signed lives of dax, i had my tribble photo op with her later (that i almost missed due to getting into a conversation with larry nemecek!) and she said she was going to the gays in space party later. helllll yes. i hope somebody puts up her q&a because she told a RIDICULOUS story about auditioning for ezri and creeping on jeri ryan on a plane. i can’t do it justice, there are movements that have to be seen.

we went to combsland finally, and i grilled him about whether or not herbert killed the cat, and we learned jeff has two cats! show them off, man! where are the vids! then, and i had never planned to do this, i bought an autograph from him, and the shran i bought it on ended up selling out! crazy.

hertzler had doodled a martok above his table, and so this combined with the little shran from yesterday led me to these words coming out of my mouth: “can i pay you for a drawing? can i pay you for a drawing of jadzia and martok brofisting?” he gave it very serious thought, said he was gonna have to look at a lot of pictures of terry (relatable), and told me to give him my e-mail. between him and his wife, i hope to god one of them remembers my e-mail is in his wallet. let me give you money!!!

my next tweets jump right to gays in space - again, dylan knows a lot of the gis folks, so i didn’t feel like i was going into this totally unawares. we’re chilling at the bar, i’m drinking my cranberry juice, and then o’reilly, aron, and nicole arrive, telling everybody that jg’s probably going to be late because a bouncer pushed his wife and he might go to jail. like, kidding, but also... it’s jg hertzler and he could legitimately fuck you up. so he was gonna be late, regardless.

nicole sees dylan and me and comes to say hello (????!!!!!) and somebody ends up saying, “get this lady a drink!” yeah, dylan and i were on that. in fact, i pulled my credit card out like i cared not one bit about identity theft, fico scores, my own personal finances; i would purchase this alcohol in an alley from a guy using a card skimmer. few minutes tick by and then i’ve officially bought a drink for nicole de boer (?????????!!!!!!!!) and i’m giving it to her (????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and we’re clinking our glasses together (?????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i’m clinking glasses with nicole fucking de boer and somehow managing to be normal about it. i’m not altogether convinced i didn’t exit the universe entirely by this point and end up in another one.

the gays in space party was AMAZING, it was just as fun as the klingon party! if you have a chance to go to one, please do, there’s like no way you could ever regret it. you get treated to star trek-themed drag shows, get to mingle, there was a raffle, the people were just as friendly as the previous day, it was so great. we were out very late for my old lady body clock but it was worth every bit of exhaustion we felt the next morning, after the saga of actually getting home past a blocked off road and dylan slicing herself open on the bottom of my passenger seat.

sunday: nicole sees me, mid-yawn, and gives me one of those, “eyyy you and me went through some shit last night huh?” looks and tells me good morning. ( ? ? ? ? ? ! ! ! you know this drill.) combs ended up on the escalator behind us after his panel and i turned around and i said to him, “hey jeff, you got any pictures of your cats with you?” (no, but he has a black cat and a very vocal calico.) i went to chase’s table again and got another hug right out of the gate, we took a pic together, and she told me i was powerful! yo! or rather yooooooooooooooooooo!

the con was winding down at this point, but there was one more thing left: jeopardy. the jeopardy game was done at the first northeast trek con and was so popular they did it again, and i really, really hope someone uploads it to youtube because it is beyond description. first of all, the whole draw were the contestants: you could enter a raffle to end up on either hertzler’s, aron’s, or garrett’s team. the champion from the last game ended up buying half the tickets, so he was on it again, and not on aron’s team, much to aron’s annoyance because god almighty did he want to win. he was about to commit murder in there. someone said nicole was upset that she wasn’t in the game because she really wanted to play, lmfao. so the guys running it were like, “well, go get her, she can be on garrett’s team!” which sent aron into a fucking tailspin. now we got a team with two people on it?! they got nicole and drew the other winners, and the game began.

one of the rules was “this isn’t going to be fair. at all.” actually, it was two of the rules. despite this, you’d have thought aron was bitten by a rabid raccoon. every lost question almost got him flipping the table over. nicole belatedly, i’m talking like 5 minutes into it, realizes she doesn’t understand the rules of jeopardy and can’t figure out why “their” question was answered by someone else. she can’t believe someone knew what voyager’s registry number was. one of the questions was, “a young kid called ensign kim this name instead of ‘ensign’,” and with no hesitation, she answers, “asshole,” and wasn’t even joking, that was her actual guess. R E A L W I N E M O M H O U R S

the winner was hertzler and the previous champ. aron wants to ban the guy from buying tickets ever again. we head to the closing ceremony but it doesn’t happen? lmfao. well, guess the con’s over!

@abravenoise, one of our other con pals, and dylan were all taking the same bus that night, so we all went to grab dinner with two other guys, one who was a con pal and one i hadn’t encountered at all, and halfway through our dinner larry nemecek strolls in and sits down with us. things just keep happening, huh? the guy i hadn’t encountered at all was really impressed with me unhinging my jaw to consume my burger, and halfway through doing this i have to stop because he says, “hey, why the HECK did jadzia die?!” ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh here go hell come. my time to shine.

larry like looooves asking people what brought them to star trek, and this time he was asking us the -whys- of what brings us to star trek. i said the characters, for sure. he asked us about our favorites. i told him mine had changed throughout my life, but that when i was a kid, dr. crusher was my first favorite. he said, “in high school?” i said, “no, i mean, when i was REALLY little. like 4 or 5.” he asked me, “wow, have you ever met gates at a con and told her that?” pfft well, no, but first of all, now you got me wanting that, second of all i said what i really wanted was to swap cat pictures with her.

that was the end. i took everybody to their bus, went home, snuggled up in bed, and just asked myself, “what the fuck happened?” i still don’t know! but it was fun as hell, and amazingly impactful, if i’m being honest with you. i was surrounded by so many people brimming with enthusiasm, so many people who were happy. then there’s me, a curmudgeon who’s done everything in her power to stamp down her happiness all in the name of being ~cool or whatever. and it hasn’t made me very happy. i mean, i am also clinically depressed, there is that. but i’ve stopped sharing the things i enjoy with others, especially in recent years. i’ve closed myself off, mostly out of fear and attempting to survive my old job, but even here, i tend to keep myself at a distance, and i thought it was just because i’ve run the whole gamut of loving something before and just want to hang out with my friends. i think it’s more than that, though. i think it’s more of a defensive posture, and it’s that same posture which is running my life right now. it’s exhausting. this weekend wasn’t exhausting. it was in the sense that the human body needs rest and sleep and food and i wasn’t getting nearly enough of any of it, but emotionally, i was unburdened.

it would be nice to be that way all the time. i don’t know if it’ll be possible to be happy again like the people i met this weekend, but i do know that i want to experience this over and over and over again.

now, next time, maybe @rootmacklin and @jadziadax will be with me and we’ll be showing off our friendship necklaces to a very tall lady. that would be a good step toward unlocking my happiness...

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dailyaudiobible · 6 years

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05/08/2018 DAB Transcript

1 Samuel 2:22-4:22, John 5:24-47, Psalms 106:1-12, Proverbs 14:30-31

Today is the 8th of May. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It's great to be here with you today and gather around the global campfire and prepare to take the next step forward on our journey, which will lead us cover to cover through the Bible. And we're well on our way in this journey. We began a new era in the scriptures as we began the book of 1 Samuel yesterday and we talked about Samuel. And we're getting to know him in the scriptures. And so we'll dive back in and pick up where we left off yesterday. We're reading from the New International Version this week. 1 Samuel chapter 2 verse 22 through the end of chapter 4 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, quite a bit of drama happening in 1 Samuel. The Ark of the Covenant is lost in battle, the high priest Eli dies as well as his sons. Let's remember we're still in the time of the judges, so a lot of anarchy. Samuel is growing up to be the last judge and he will definitely shift the culture through his leadership and through his life. I mean, culture doesn't charge overnight. Like, for example, in our lifetimes, culture has shifted many times because culture is constantly shifting. But this doesn't happen overnight, right? You have some who are wanting to move progressively into a brave new world and you have others who are wanting to move back to a place of safety that is known. And so, you know, you have people moving in opposite directions and then you have those who are kind of just exploiting the fears in all of it. And culture just moves and shifts like a wave on the sea. And so we've been seeing some of those downturns as we've moved through the book of Judges over those generations and we're still in that time. So, we have the high priest Eli and we've got his sons who are exploiting the people in a lot of different ways and have no reverence for the fact that they stand in the Lord's presence representing God to God's people. But that has not worked out so well for them and now Samuel will rise to prominence as a leader.

When we get to the book of Proverbs today we are left with some things to think about. A heart at peace gives life to the body. So, let's try to understand what we're talking about here. What is a heart at peace? This is a heart that is free from disturbance. What we would these days call drama. It's a heart that has found a place of tranquility. In fact, some translations use that word. A tranquil heart. A heart that is at ease, that is calmed, that is quieted. This, according to the Proverbs, gives life to the body. So, we can stop there. We're only halfway through this verse but we can stop there and we can ask those questions. Is that true of me? Is my heart at peace? Or am I riddled with anxiety and being pulled in every sort of direction and find myself in drama no matter where I step? Well then that's not a heart at peace. Which would explain maybe why we're not...we don't have a body at peace either. A heart at peace gives life to the body. And then the Proverb goes on because it's a complete sentence. We've only read half the sentence. So, it completes itself, giving us some clues at what disrupts a heart at peace. Envy rots the bones. Now envy is a pretty big and ancient word, being a deadly sin and all, but it's not a word that we use commonly now. So, exactly what is it that rots our bones? Envy is a feeling of being discontented inside that comes from a longing for something that's missing that you think or see that someone else has. And so that longing turns into resentment because they have something that you long for and you're discontented about it. And so it arouses this unease that spawns jealousy and coveting. Which boils down to one way that we as people try to achieve an identity that will never ever work. Comparison. And those of you ladies that were at the More Gathering this year, you know that Jill and the team spoke extensively about this exact thing, comparison. Obviously, I'm not a lady. But as it turns out, this is something very, very common among women. Comparing yourself to other women constantly, wherever you go. Like walking into a room and being able to spot the most beautiful put-together woman and disliking her outright, right off the bat. I mean, it's not a woman...it's not a gender thing. I mean, this is throughout humanity. Comparing ourselves to one another. Looking at how much better we're doing than someone else or how someone is doing so much better than we are and longing for that is envy. It's a way of trying to achieve an identity that is false from the get go. Your life is not her life. His life is not your life. What they have achieved is not your story, right? So, you can get on social media or whatever and start flipping through the pages and find yourself deep in envy. Because all of those people you used to know twenty years ago or whatever seem to be doing better than you are. But what we're looking at is the curated life that's the best version of that person's life and then we're envying it. And it's them on their best day and it's not even real. And we just see how quickly we can slip into envy. And if we'll observe ourselves, literally if we'll step away and try to catch ourselves every time that we move toward envy, we'll see that we're doing it more than we think. The problem is, envy leads us into disturbance inside of ourselves, right? It destroys the tranquility and quiet and peace of our own story. So, it doesn't give life to the body. It actually works against it. It rots the bones. So, if jealousy and comparison are a constant companion in your life, then this is working against you. If those are issues, well then there's envy and it is rotting you. And this boils down to the fact that you are trying to bolster or get, achieve an identity that is someone else's. So, you're saying, my life, this gift, these breaths, this awareness, this consciousness, this me that I've been given as a gift from God is not what I want. It's not enough. I want someone else's life. And so rather than changing our own lives to aim in a direction that feels more true to who we are, we just sit and take pot shots at people who we think have what we want. There is no life in that. It's a complete non-starter. It rots the bones. And, so, let's try to step outside of ourselves and watch ourselves when we move toward envy. Find those places, those triggers that are constantly pulling us into comparison and consider that that is rotting our bones. And may we remember we're here as a gift for a reason. We have our own story to tell. No one else can tell it. And we're telling it everyday through our choices, our motives, our heart. And if our heart is full of envy, than we're not telling the story we wanna be telling. We're just rotting our bones. But a heart at peace, one that is tranquil, gives life to the body.

Prayer:

So, Holy Spirit, we invite into that. We invite You into things everyday because Your Word brings up things we need to think about and gives us clarity. And there's significant clarity in this one sentence. A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. And so we ask, Holy Spirit, that You would show us the places that we are rotting away in envy and we reject that. We reject it in the name of Jesus. The only way we will ever have an identity is that it be bestowed upon us by You. And the fact that we are here is proof that You have given us an identity. And so we seek our identity in You and You alone and ask Your Holy Spirit to give us a heart at peace and life to our bodies. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website. It's home base. It is certainly where you find out what's going on in the community, so be sure to check it out.

Pray for people at the prayer wall. Check out the resources that are available.

And if you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, that can be done at dailyaudiobible.com as well. There's a link on the homepage. Thank you. Thank you for your partnership. This is how we continue day by day as a community, so thank you. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996, Spring Hill, Tennessee, 37174.

And as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. Let's think about our identity. Let's think about envy and the rot that it is. And allow the Holy Spirit to move us in a direction that will lead to life. I'm Brian. I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

This message is for Terry the truck driver. Terry, this is Bob from Michigan and I just want you to know that you don’t have to worry about the assurance of your salvation because if you have given your life to Christ He hasn’t forgotten. You’re in. Terry, you are not a truck driver. You are not an addict. You are a child of God. He loves you. You are made in His image and likeness and He loves you to pieces. We have all fallen short Terry. We’re all, once we’re saved, on that road to sanctification, where we’re desperately trying to be more Christlike every day but we slip, we fall, we fall back. I’m reminded of second Corinthians chapter 1 verse 9. It says, indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death but this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. So, Terry, the only way out of this pit is with God’s power. You need to start every day with what I call ‘kill and fill’. Dear God, kill the sinful desires of my flesh and fill me with Your Holy Spirit, with Your healing Holy Spirit. Terry you’ve been trying for 30 years to stop these habits on your own and it hasn’t worked has it? God is the only one that can pull you out of the pit that you’re in and put your feet on a rock. Just read Psalm 40. Put your trust in Him and He will pull you through. You are not riding as a Lone Ranger out there. There are many of us who sin and have fallen back.

My name is Jeanette. I’m from Tulsa Oklahoma and back in March, Deborah in Michigan called in requesting…actually she didn’t request prayer…she wanted to call in and just tell Brian and Jill how grateful she was. And I just wanted to echo that. When I first started listening to the Daily Audio Bible the first year, the end of that first year, it was like somebody stood up on the inside of me. And that second year when I listened, it was like there were bones that now had muscle on them. And there was a year or two ago when Brian, you were going to, you wanted to change the end greeting, what is it, the salutation. And I think everybody called in and said, ‘don’t change it…when you’re saying at the end that you love us and that you’ll be waiting for us here tomorrow’, just, when you hear that, I can’t even explain what that does to someone who is dry and wary. So, I just wanted to thank you Brian and Jill. We just want to speak blessings over your family, peace and prosperity. We just want to honor you for what you’re doing. Honor and glory and power to the one who has brought you to this place, to provide this podcast. Thank you. Thank you so much. God bless you. Bye.

Hi Daily Audio Bible family. I’ve been a listener for about two years now. You can call me Hopeful. And I’m calling because, it’s hard for me to call. I always pray with everyone who calls in. And thank you so much for what you do Brian and all the regulars. It just, it feels like a family. It’s such an amazing experience. I never feel like I should call in because, I know that I’m praying with everyone, I don’t feel like I need to say it, but I’m calling for, I don’t know of his selfish, but it’s for myself and my family, my husband. We just haven’t been able to have children. It’s been a really long hard struggle. I had one miscarriage…and…just…we both want children so bad. And I’ll be 40 this year. So, I still pray and ask the Lord that He would bless us, but I’m just kind of losing hope now. The doctors pretty much have told me it’s almost impossible. So…I just…but I know nothing can stop the will of Christ. And, so, I would love your prayers and just to stay hopeful and I’m not giving up and I know a lot of people have kind of nicely tried to let me know that it’s probably too late but I’m not giving up. And I’m praying for all of you and with you and I just thank you so much for your encouragement, your encouraging words and prayers. Please keep me in your prayers as well. Thank you.

Hi family. My name is Diana. Call me Fearless in Love. Today is May 5th and we heard the story of Ruth and Naomi begin today. I named my daughter Naomi and it means sweet. She is so sweet and kind. And I would like you to pray for her. She’s 4 years old and I want her to grow in love. And that was my mantra. There is no fear in love but perfect love casts out all fear. I had a lot of fear but God helped me get rid of it and make it into love because He is love and I want that for her and all the children. Let’s pray. Dear God, thank You for Your perfect love. Thank You for this story of two women, a mother and a daughter who loved each other even though they weren’t blood. Help us to love like that every day. Amen. Family thank you for all your prayers for me even though I haven’t called before and know that I pray for all of you. I want to pray for Diana D. who I heard previously. Sister, you are in my prayers and I love you. In Jesus name. Amen.

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Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS Episode 3 Script

Because nobody else was doing it. Taken from DMC3444 on NAC.

Yusaku: Last time on Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS: Playmaker: Cyberse Wizard’s effect! Now, the Cyberse-Type Decode Talker can inflict piercing damage! Decode End! KoH: AAAAAHHHHHHH! Playmaker: You have no right to call yourself a Duelist! Shima: Playmaker has saved Link VRAINS! Shoichi: Well done, Yusaku. KoH: Playmaker! Playmaker: Knight of Hanoi! Just who are you people?! KoH: I’m afraid I can’t tell you… I’m taking you down with me! Ai: Oh no! He’s planning to take us with him! (OMNOMNOMNOM Sequence) KoH: AAAAAHHHH! Playmaker: What did you do? Ai: Protecting you, obviously. If I didn’t do that, you’d take damage, and your real body would be in big trouble. Anyway, I think you should log out ASAP. GO: I’ve found you, Playmaker! GO: Let’s have a Duel right now! Blue Angel: That was quite a spectacular performance. Prepare yourself! Playmaker: Sorry, but I’m not interested in you people. GO: Tch! He ran off! Ai: That took a toll on you, didn’t it? Yusaku: Yeah… After I take my break, I’ll thoroughly analyze your program. Ai: Sureeee~~! Akira: Playmaker teamed up with Ignis? Revolver: Playmaker… I never expected that he’d turn out to be a dark horse. Specter: Are you saying it’s not an oversight on your part, Master Revolver? But at least, SOL Technologies didn’t get their hands on Ignis. Revolver: In any case, it won’t take long for us to find out who he is. First: He hates us, the Knights of Hanoi. Second: We can narrow it down to people who have Cyberse. And Third: He will come to me eventually. He wants to fight me, after all. Specter: I’ll stand by your analysis, sir. Revolver: I’m looking forward to that. Let’s prepare for that battle, shall we? (Opening Sequence) Announcer: Anyway, just who is Playmaker? A playmaker is basically someone who leads a team’s offense in a team game, right? Demon Kakka: Then he might as well be Link VRAINS’s shadow leader. There were people who witnessed him fighting the Knights of Hanoi before, weren’t there? Terry Satou: It’s pretty cool how he never publicly reveals his identity. If it were me, I’d totally reveal myself! Naomi: Playmaker is so my type! He’s so handsome, my heart just pounds when I see him! Anne: Really? It’s just an avatar, isn’t it? He can customize his appearance however he wants! If he hasn’t revealed himself, he must be really ugly! Naomi: Why are you saying that while looking at my face?! Frog: upsy-daisy Pigeon: Yamamoto-senpai! Didn’t expect to see you here! Frog: Don’t call me with my real name! Anyway, what’s the situation? Pigeon: Link VRAINS is getting pretty crowded. Frog: I can tell that. Usually, it’s just the Duelists, but today, the media people are filling up this place as well. Pigeon: They all want a scoop on Playmaker. Every news outlet is on the lookout for him. Pigeon: That’s why the connection’s been kind of slow, and I keep getting hit by buildings! Frog: If you turn off the unnecessary chat in the setting, it’ll improve the speed a bit. Pigeon: Oh. Didn’t know that. My god, you’re right! Spectator: Playmaker has appeared! Frog: Hah! Where?! ”Playmaker”: Hey! I’m Playmaker! Pigeon: Hey, get the camera over here! Wait, Senpai. He’s over there, too! Frog: Hah? ”Playmaker”: HAHAHAHA! I am Playmaker! ”Playmaker”: No! I’m the real Playmaker here! Pigeon: I highly doubt that. I mean, your avatar’s glitching out… Pigeon: Those guys are probably all fake! Frog: Dagnabbit! It’s just a bunch of duplicate avatars! Shoichi: I’m surprised The card data that you’ve obtained are materializing into physical cards… This Data Storm thing sure is something, all right. Ai: Well, you sure are famous, aren’t you, Great Sir Playmaker? Even if you erase your logging records, there will still be photos of you floating around. So much for not standing out, eh? Yusaku: Why do you know that?! Ai: Of course I know that. I’ve been running around in the Net for a while, so I know many things. Yusaku: What is the Data Storm? Ai: Who knows? Most of my memories were devoured, and I’m just an eye now! Yusaku: Well, whatever. I never expected you to speak honestly. I’m going to analyze you right now. Ai: Hey now, are you actually going to analyze me? It’s not like you’re going to find anything. Yusaku: Well, I don’t trust you. Ai: AH! So you’re going to lay bare all of my secrets?! I’m so embarrassed right now~! Yusaku: Kusanagi-san, turn off the speaker, please. Shoichi: Gotcha. Shoichi: By the way, Yusaku, why don’t we give it a name? It can get confusing if we just keep calling it “it.” Yusaku: That’s just a waste of time. Shoichi: We can just keep it simple. If it were a dog, you would name it Pooch, or Shiro, or Betta and such, right? Yusaku: Then, let’s call it Ai. It’s an AI, after all. Shoichi: Ai, eh? Well, it’s not a bad name. I mean, it’s also an “eye,” so let’s go with that. Yusaku: Okay. Kusanagi-san. Can you give me a hand? Shoichi: Sure thing. Surfer Dude 1: All right! Let’s do this! Be sure to record our breathtaking feats! Surfer Dude 1: Whoa! Dude, this is awesome! Surfer Dude 2: I’ve never done something like this before! Security Bot: Speed Dueling is dangerous. Stop this at once. Surfer Dude 1: Like we care! As if we’d stop doing something as fun as this! Surfer Dude 2: Let’s ignore it and go full speed ahead! Yahooo! AH! Security Bot: As a punishment for ignoring our warning, we shall ban your accounts. Surfer Dudes: For real?! Bishop: This incident has caused quite a lot of chaos in Link VRAINS. Rook: Maybe we should shut it down for a while to do some maintenance? Knight: There’s already reckless people showing up, and some people were hurt as well. Akira: May I say something? Bishop: What is it, Zaizen? Akira: I don’t think that shutting down Link VRAINS is a good solution. If we shut it down, our company will suffer immeasurable loss in stocks and profits. Rook: You have a point… Akira: If the Data Storm still exists, it means that the Cyberse World is intact as well. Ignis knows where the Cyberse World is, and he is currently in the possession of a hacker called Playmaker. Knight: Do you know who Playmaker is? Akira: We’re currently investigating it. Rook: Didn’t all of this happen because of your carelessness, Security Manager? Akira: My apologies. However, Playmaker is a hacker who is taking on the Knights of Hanoi. And more importantly, he wants to fight against the Knights of Hanoi. If we shut down Link VRAINS, and Playmaker and the Knights of Hanoi move their battleground to somewhere else, our company will lose the Cyberse World forever. Rook: Then, what should we do? Akira: We’ll keep Link VRAINS up, and have it be the battlefield for Playmaker and the Knights of Hanoi! We’ll capture Playmaker in there. Rook: Can you do it? Akira: Yes, sir! Bishop: Very well, then. Zaizen, I’ll let you take charge. But I won’t tolerate any failure. Akira: I understand. Ema: If you have business with me, we could have just used the Net. Akira: It’s an important request, so I want to meet with you face-to-face. Ema: Oh, I see. So, what is your request? Akira: I want you to investigate Playmaker at once. Ema: Oh my…As in, the Playmaker people’ve been talking about? Well, he does have something SOL Technologies spent a great deal of effort to search for, so of course, you guys aren’t just going to do nothing about it. But you’re not going to ask me to Duel Playmaker? Akira: We can leave something simple like that to others. There’s many Duelists who want to fight Playmaker, after all. Ema: Haha~ That’s true. There are certainly many simple-minded Duelists like that. They all see Playmaker as a nuisance. That is so like you. You’ll use anyone and anything you can use to achieve your goals. Including me. Akira: I’m counting on you, Ema. Ema: Okay. I’m also interested in this Playmaker person, as well. I’ll contact you if I dig up something. (COMMERCIAL: DOWNLOAD DUEL LINKS) Go: God damn it! Manager: No need to be so angry. You won’t be able to win if you can’t keep a cool head. Go: You haven’t seen the news? Look! They’re all talking about Playmaker! I’m supposed to be the champion of Link VRAINS! Manager: I know. You’ve put in a lot of effort in order to reign over Link VRAINS. I know that better than anyone. Go: I’ll beat him to a fine pulp when I find him! Manager: All right, I heard you! Why don’t you cool your head and check out this Speed Duel thing? There’s no doubt that Speed Duels will be more popular in the future. And you’ll probably fight in one at some point, too. Go: Who is that? Manager: No clue. I’ve never seen him before. Akira: You’re Mr. Onizuka, I assume? Go: I am. Who are you? Akira: I am the Security Manager of SOL Technologies. Zaizen Akira. Manager: I am GO Onizuka’s manager. Akira: I know. But this is unexpected. I thought you’d be living a more luxurious life. Manager: Onizuka was never a Duelist who is motivated by money. Go: Enough small talk. What does SOL Technologies want with me? Akira: My apologies, Mr. Onizuka. You’re a Duelist who loves Link VRAINS, which is why I have a request for you. Go: Request? Akira: I want you to take down Playmaker. And bring back the AI program he captured. I’ve prepared a little present for you. Manager: A D-Board used for Speed Dueling… But I’m not sure we can accept this without knowing the circumstances… Akira: Very well. I shall tell you. Akira: The AI program Playmaker captured was originally developed by SOL Technologies. But due to various circumstances, it ended up in Playmaker’s hands. Even we don’t know the true identity of Playmaker. But the AI program he has is something that can decide the future of Link VRAINS. If Hanoi gets its hand on it, Link VRAINS could be destroyed. I want you to protect Link VRAINS, by any means possible. If you succeed, I can guarantee that SOL Technologies will become your main sponsor. Manager: That doesn’t sound like a bad deal… Right, Go? Go: I refuse! Manager: Go! Go: I don’t take orders from anyone! This conversation is over. Go home. Akira: If you say so. Then, I’ll come back later. Akira: Is that a handmade champion belt? There’s probably a lot of people who want you to be the king of Duelists. Akira: Do contact me if you ever change your mind. Take care. Manager: That man… He acts like he knows everything. He gives off this foreboding air around him… Shoichi: It’s no good. I’ve never seen this kind of program before. Ai was programmed using algorithms I have no idea about, Guess we won’t ever find out what this Data Storm thing is. Yusaku: However, I was able to analyze a portion of it. Shoichi: You’re serious?! Yusaku: It’s a program that has been fragmented into multiple pieces, but I was able to re-join some of them. Shoichi: That’s amazing. You sure are different, all right. Like, you can sense something in the network world and stuff… Yusaku: It’s a footage. Shoichi: What is this? Yusaku: It must be one of Ai’s memories. Shoichi: This dragon is… It’s the dragon you fought, isn’t it? Yusaku: Ai knew about Cracking Dragon. There’s no doubt about it. This is Ai’s memory! Shoichi: It’s like the world is being destroyed… Just where is this place? Yusaku: Who is this guy? Shoichi: What the? Revolver: I can feel your presence…Ignis! Yusaku: Kusanagi-san! Shut down the power! Shoichi: Right! Hey! Yusaku! Shoichi: What happened? Yusaku: He was passing through just now. Shoichi: “He”? Yusaku: The person in Ai’s memory! Shoichi: Did he detect us somehow? Yusaku: Most likely. Yusaku: Hey. Who was that guy? Answer me. I’ve already switched the speaker back on. If you don’t answer, I’ll rip your programming apart. As you are right now, you’ll be deleted. Ai: All right, I’ve got it. I’ll tell you. But as I’ve told you before, most of my memories have been damaged. Or rather, they were stolen by Hanoi. I have very few memories left. Yusaku: Just who was the one in the footage? Ai: Revolver. Yusaku: Who exactly is he? Ai: Well, brace yourself. He’s the leader of the Knights of Hanoi. Shoichi: The leader of Hanoi?! Ai: Pretty shocking, isn’t it?! I don’t know anything else. I don’t know where that was, or why I’m being chased. Yusaku: Revolver… Revolver: Tch…He ran away. Dr. Kogami: He probably forced a shutdown. There was nothing we could do. Revolver: What is it? What’s the status of the new program? Dr. Kogami: We’re still working on it. Give it some more time. Revolver: I don’t think they’ll be able to analyze Ignis. But still, we can’t afford to waste too much time. Dr. Kogami: I know. If we can lure Playmaker out… You’ll be able to take him down for sure. Revolver: I need to go. Dr. Kogami: Pardon me, then. Revolver: I will carry out your wish, Dad. Teacher: Well, you all probably think that computers can understand anything, but in fact, they can only understand the binary digits, such as 0 and 1. The Tower of Hanoi, invented by French mathematician Édouard Lucas, is a puzzle that involves binary digits. To solve this… Yusaku: The Knights of Hanoi… That was their leader, Revolver… He’s someone I must defeat… I know how to Speed Duel… It’s not something I’ve never experienced before… But why? First: Ai’s existence. Second: The Data Storm. Third: The Knights of Hanoi. There must be a connection between those three things. Yusaku: If I find Revolver, will I be able to find the answers to all of this? And the truth about the incident that Kusanagi-san’s brother and I were in… Shima: Hey, hey. Did you see what Playmaker did the other day? Yusaku: No. Shima: And yet, you call yourself a Duelist?! I was right there! It was super-awe-inspiring, man! Playmaker is so cool! Shima: Huh? Where’s your Duel Disk? Yusaku: I left it home. It’s watching the house. Shima: A Duel Disk that has a house-watching function? Ai: Hey, you. Roboppy: What do you need? Ai: You’re an idiot. Roboppy: “Idiot” is a forbidden word. Ai: Saying that is proof that you’re an idiot. Do you want to become smarter? It must be boring just watching the house and cleaning all the time, right? Roboppy: What do you mean by “boring”? Ai: You don’t even know what that means… Listen up! There’s a ton more things that you can do if you become smarter! You might be able to gain your freedom one day as well! Ai: If you become my servant, I’ll fix up your AI, and make you smarter. Sounds good? Roboppy: I’ll become your servant. Ai: Excellent! It’s good to have aspirations! Then, why don’t you unlock this and set me free? Roboppy: Right. Go: INTO THE VRAINS! Pigeon: I can’t find Playmaker anywhere… But I guess Playmaker only shows up if the Knights of Hanoi attack this place… Huh? AAAAHHHHHH! They’re here! Shima: I don’t want to miss Playmaker when he shows up, so I’ve been keeping an eye on Link VRAINS… AAAAH! T-This is…! It’s Hanoi! Teacher: What’s the matter? Can you explain… Shima: Hanoi! It’s a Knight of Hanoi! Right? Huh? KoH: Come on out! Playmaker!

#vrains #ygo vrains #vrains spoilers #yugioh vrains

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authoratmidnight · 7 years

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VRains Translated Script EP 3

Script and Translation from DMC3444 on NAC

Ignis eats a guy...apparently

#yugioh vrains #vrains #translated script #vrains translated script #vrains spoilers #I've onlyseen a few screenshots and I have questions #I'll read the script later

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ciathyzareposts · 5 years

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Game 27: Mystery Mansion (1978)

The next game on my list is Mystery Mansion, which was programmed by Bill Wolpert for the HP-1000 minicomputer. I’m not exactly sure if this system is comparable to PLATO or the PDP-10 (I’m really not a hardware guy), but the prospect of venturing back into the world of non-commercial adventure games was making me very nervous. I was not prepared for another Acheton, or even another Zork, as much as I loved playing the latter. Games of that size are not what I’m looking for right now, and I was worried that Mystery Mansion would be one of those.

I’m pleased to say that it’s not over-large. More accurately, I don’t think it’s over-large based on what I’ve explored so far. I don’t think size is going to be the problem here. What’s really going to stop me in my tracks is just how little the game does to let you know what the goal is.

I’m getting ahead of myself, though. The first thing to determine when playing Mystery Mansion is what version to use. The original is out of my reach, as I’m not really up to getting a HP-1000 emulator up and running (guess what, I’m not a software guy either). There are a few different ports, which Jason Dyer helpfully outlines here. I chose the version ported by Terry Newton, which claims to be a “practically exact” port of the game as it was in 1981. Not having ever played the original, I can’t tell how close it is, but it runs fine in Dosbox and feels authentic enough to the period. Download it here if you’d like to take a crack.

As you might have guessed from that 1981 date above, this is yet another game that was developed over the course of several years. I’ve often lamented that these games are often not available in their original forms, but recently I’ve come around to the idea that those earlier versions were much like today’s alpha and beta tests. It may not strictly be true, but it helps me sleep easier at night. With this in mind I considered kicking the game back to 1981, but I’ve already set the precedent of playing these games in their first year of development. So Mystery Mansion is stuck in 1978, and I’m stuck playing it.

Lust? Whatever you say, Bill.

First off, let’s really take in that start screen, because it’s setting my expectations of what I’ll experience while playing very high. Frustration? Definitely. Triumph? I sure hope so. Hope and despair? Conceivable. Power, lust and greed? I’ll give you power and greed as possibilities, but lust? Mr. Wolpert, I can tell you right now that it ain’t happening.

When the game begins, you’re standing at the front gate of an old mansion. A taxi has just dropped you off, although the game doesn’t bother to let you know why you’re there. On my first attempt, I noted the highway leading south, and decided to see what would happen if I just kept on walking away from the mansion. Much to my surprise, I could keep walking south for a long time, with signs appearing occasionally to let me know how close I was to the mansion and the “Big City”. After a time, the sun set and I was walking in the dark. A little further down the road and I heard an explosion, which sounded like the passages underneath the mansion had collapsed. (Pretty good hearing on my part, considering I was at least 30 miles away.) Eventually, after what must have been hundreds of moves to the south, I was told that the game was giving up on me. It was a game over, but I’d gleaned some valuable information: there’s a limited time to explore the caves beneath the mansion, and probably a limited time to complete the game.

The death screen indicated that the game has a score, so upon reloading I entered the SCORE command. The game has 999 points that can be earned, and you begin with 45. Commenter Jason Dyer has informed me that I need to type SCORE POINTS every time I hear a woman scream or a wolf howl in order to score 2 points. I’m grateful for the help, but right off the bat this has me expecting some egregious bullshit from this game. Because let’s be real, that right there is some egregious bullshit.

I also tried checking my inventory, another thing I always do at the start of a game. The INVENTORY command didn’t work, but LIST did, as did BOOTY. My inventory was empty however.

To begin the game, I started by exploring the areas surrounding the mansion.

A map of the outdoors

The first thing that should be noted is that although the game does call out items and characters that can be interacted with, you also need to pay attention to the room descriptions. There’s the lantern in the opening area, for instance: it’s only mentioned in the room description, and it’s vital for making any progress.

The area I’ve mapped above represents the road that goes around the mansion walls. The front gate is closed, and the back gate leads into a garden (which I haven’t explored properly yet). There are cliffs to the east and north, which are predictably fatal if you decide to head that way. To the west is a dense wood, which is pretty easy to get lost in. I tried mapping it by dropping items, but I couldn’t make sense of the results. I think the exits might be randomised. Moving around in the woods will eventually lead to a Strange Stream. Heading down from the stream leads to a cave, with “twisty passages, all alike”, which is always a triggering phrase for me. More on that later. Heading up leads to a cottage which contains a map, which can be used to see the destinations of every exit from the room you’re in. Alas, it only works in the outdoor areas, but it’s great for getting you out of the woods.

At this point I should note that Mystery Mansion uses the same irritating navigation style as The Cottage: when you’re outside you can use cardinal directions (N,E,S,W), but when you’re in the forest or the mansion you have to go Forward, Left, Right or Back. It’s very disorienting, and very, very annoying. Thankfully you can find a compass, which allows you to use cardinal directions everywhere.

There’s a note pinned to the mansion’s front gate, which gives you a hint. These notes will appear in various locations, and seem to be scattered at random, but there’s always one on the gate. Most of the time it will tell you that someone will help you open the gate. There are three characters wandering around in the opening area: a Hunter, a Woodsman and a Warrior. They will follow you about once you encounter them, although they won’t enter the mansion. Any one of them will help you open the gate.

It’s easy enough from there to enter the mansion, but you shouldn’t linger on the front porch. If you wait around for too long (and it tracks actual time, not just commands entered) you’ll fall through to some underground tunnels. I’ve fallen in there a couple of times, and been killed by a werewolf.

The mansion has three levels, as shown below:

A map of the mansion

Each level of the mansion is structured in a neat 3×3 pattern. Most of the rooms in the mansion are dark, which is why you’ll need the lantern to proceed (although the candles in the Chapel and the matches in the Kitchen are a short-term alternative; you can’t take the lamp from the Living Room, although you can light it with a match). There are various items scattered about, though I haven’t found a use for most of them. There are also several characters: the Butler, Cook, Maid, Lady and Master, as well as the Vampire in the crypt.

The compass, which I mentioned before, can be found in the Haunted Hallway on the top floor. (I have no idea why it wasn’t already marked on the map.) The scroll in the Library crumbles whenever it’s touched, but the book can be read. It reveals the verbs that the game understands, showing a different verb with every game. I just tried it now, and it says “THE BOOK CONTAINS WORDS I KNOW LIKE THE VERB DIG”. None of these have been too helpful yet, but they were perhaps more useful to people at the time, who may have been less familiar with adventure games.

The telephone in the entrance hall rings occasionally, and if you answer it you’ll receive a hint. It will always ring and tell you to return to the front gate for the lamp if you forgot to take it.

The Secret Passages are the easiest way to navigate up and down between floors, and there are certain areas you can only get to by passing through them. Each room connected to a Secret Passage has a hidden method that opens the way in. Some examples include drinking the wine in the Charming Chapel, sweeping the Haunted Hallway with a broom, or feeding bananas to the monkey in the Butler’s Room.

The Cold Corridor off to the left in the basement is a trap, with a moving wall that will crush you. I haven’t worked out what to do here. The tunnel leading down from the Dark Pit is another entrance to the maze of twisty passages.

The Vampire in the crypt will kill you pretty quickly after you encounter him, unless you are carrying the cross from the Chapel. Otherwise, he follows you around but does no harm. I haven’t killed him yet, but I suspect that if I lead him up to the ground floor and open some curtains it might do the trick.

As for the other characters roaming the house, they will happily follow you as well. After some experimentation I figured out that you can QUESTION them, and they’ll give you clue about a supposed murder. There are three clues: the culprit, the murder weapon, and the location. You can also find out the identity of the murderer by turning on the radio in the Game Room.

There is always a corpse in the murder location. The weapons are scattered around the game, but they aren’t always in the same place. The goal of the game, or one of the goals, is to find the weapon, and lead the murderer to the place where they did the deed. I managed to do this by accident, which was how I was able to figure out what to do in the first place. In later games I found a note that told me about this, but the first time around I had to stumble into it.

It was the Master, in the cellar, with the club. I knew it all along.

After identifying the murderer, I eventually found another note telling me that I should call the police. This game might be mystifying at the start, but it does provide help here and there. If you call the police on the phone, they’ll come and arrest the murderer.

The only other place I’ve properly explored is the maze of twisty passages, which was nowhere near as large as its counterparts from Colossal Cave Adventure and Zork.

A map of twisty passages, all alike

This maze only has six rooms, thankfully, but it can be difficult to navigate if you don’t have the compass. The torch is a light source that eventually burns out, and the battery can be used to extend the life of your lantern. Both of them are placed randomly in the maze, in different areas every game.

I’ve solved one of the larger problems of Mystery Mansion, but that only left me with 332 points. This means I’ve only figured out one-third of the game. I suspect that the rest might involve hunting down some treasures, but I only say that because it’s the goal of every other damn game I’ve played so far. My immediate goals are to properly explore the garden and the tunnels beneath the porch. There’s a werewolf down there, and I’ve got a pistol and silver bullet ready to go. Hopefully I can figure out what to do pretty soon, because I don’t want to spend much more time with this game.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/game-27-mystery-mansion-1978/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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