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#might as well as do something productive
quibbs126 · 12 days
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Hm, apparently this wasn’t a request. But whatever, I finished them and want to show it off
But yay, I finally got purecacao done!
So first off, I just want to say that these two are post-canon, and Dark Choco’s their older half-brother. I just felt like mentioning that because I made up this whole thing for the purecacao love story
My idea for how Dark Cacao and Pure Vanilla’s relationship went is that at some point, Dark Cacao got feelings for Pure Vanilla, but wasn’t sure how to tell him. But he thought he’d have all the time in the world to say because they were immortal. But then the Dark Flour War happened and Pure Vanilla “died”. When he came back, Dark Cacao realized that he couldn’t just wait anymore, and so sometime during the current story, he confessed his love for him, and after the main story they ended up getting together
Anyways, back to the twins. So Vanilla Bean is a girl, while Cocoa Butter is a boy. Though I’m considering making Cocoa Butter a girl as well. I’m not sure
So Cocoa Butter is a very friendly kid, and very outgoing. He wants to be a warrior like his father (Dark Cacao) and brother, though he prefers the Vanilla Kingdom over the Dark Cacao Kingdom. He also tends to get himself into messy situations, which result in his outfits getting messed up and having to constantly be fixed. In the future, I see him being a Vanillian soldier, if not a commander. Also, despite his want to be like Dark Cacao, his favorite parent is Pure Vanilla since he’s not nearly as serious
Vanilla Bean on the other hand is very shy and quiet. She prefers to read giant tomes and watch from afar. She prefers Dark Cacao since he’s quiet and feels safe with him due to how strong he is. I’m not as certain what she ends up doing, maybe she becomes a healer, but I know she’ll end up living in the Dark Cacao Kingdom
I feel like you can tell which description I did better. I mean, with Cocoa Butter I was haphazardly putting all my thoughts, but by Vanilla Bean I knew how to articulate them better
Despite their differences, they get along very well, and include the other in their games. Also, they both really like their brother Dark Choco. He’s like their main babysitter, and he enjoys their company too
Alright, I think that’s about it for their characters. Now on to designs
So I think I’ve mentioned using the name Cocoa Butter before, but I also decided to use Vanilla Bean a few days ago. My brain thoughts were that cocoa butter is cacao but light colored, while vanilla beans are vanilla but dark colored. It’s contrast (which admittedly I may be doing too much of with these two)
Cocoa butter and vanilla beans:
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So one of the first things I wanted to do was give Vanilla Bean those pigtails, with the idea that they’d look like vanilla beans. Admittedly they aren’t actually in the shape of the beans, but whatever
I was struggling with their eye colors, since I wasn’t really sure what to do. I knew I didn’t want to do heterochromia though. Eventually I tried mixing the purple and I think blue to get this bluish grey color, and I decided to give them purple eyes but with one of Pure Vanilla’s eye colors as the highlights. And also I decided to change the purples to fit more with each highlight, Cocoa Butter’s being more warm while Vanilla Bean’s is more cool
Admittedly I was kind of just making stuff up with their outfits, all I could think of was vaguely mixing Vanillian and Dark Cacaoian clothing, which mostly just resulted in purple + yellow. I know I’ve seen someone do it, but I don’t have refs. I think what I came up with was alright though
In addition to their purples and yellows, I experimented with adding an additional green color to Vanilla Bean to spice things up, and I liked it. But I didn’t want to leave Cocoa Butter out, so I gave him the red accents
Their streaks were a very last minute inclusion, and I really only added them because I remembered that Dark Cacao had those. I feel like you can really tell on Cocoa Butter
Overall I think they’re good. Maybe not my best, but they’re still fine. Maybe I can make them some adult designs that look even better
But yeah, I think that’s about it for them. I hope you enjoy them!
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accirax · 3 months
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Soooooo... remember when I said I was rewatching DRDT?
Well, here's the result of that! As I did, I made a Danganronpa: Despair Time Episode Guide, full of links to specific, labeled parts of each episode to make it easier to rewatch and reference. The document should be available to all, so hopefully it'll come in handy for anyone who's interested in theory writing. Since it's taken me a bit review the story, I've already been using the guide to put together some of my theories over the past couple of months, and man has it saved me some time.
As I say in my opening blurb on the document itself, if you notice that anything is wrong or unclear, feel free to let me know! You can use the comments on this post to point stuff out as well.
I hope that you find this useful! (the cost of admission is putting up with my terrible scene title jokes)
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britneyshakespeare · 4 months
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My toxic trait is that I like how my incomplete drawings look better than the finished things
#im sorry i cant be her (my searching lines)#i cant stop thinking about this drawing i have a sinking feeling that im gonna be very unhappy when its done#or. not unhappy. but not as excited as i feel about it now!#i only worked in two short chunks on it but both were pretty productive#i have a feeling that when i take the time to really dedicate myself to it im gonna fuck something up#like i can see areas i need to/can improve already but the glaring flaws are ok! bc it's not finished!#it OVERALL looks cool and LOOKS like it has the potential to turn out well#but will it... WILL IT??? WILL IT EVER?#i have never been so totally completely satisfied w any finished drawing ive dedicated myself to fully.#tales from diana#this is also only the second time ive done a really deliberate self-portrait that wasnt in some for or another. practice#like of course ive drawn my face before. not that often actually. but since yes i do draw. i have drawn myself#i probably should've drawn myself more times for how often i think id like a nice picture of myself#but then again its not gonna be so 'nice' if i make it and am not totally happy w it?#see one of the ppl who inspired me to learn to draw is ned @sneez my dearest. he's spoiled me before#and drawn me very beautifully on several occasions and it's very much a thing to move one's heart#to see someone dedicate their talent to depicting YOU.#and i might say HE has made me look more beautiful in art than i think i'll ever look in the flesh#which is not to say he drew me inaccurately. but he's so talented that his art is more beautiful than life.#and i dont compare myself in skill to him bc he's been doing it for YEARS and way more trained than me in the visual arts.#like it simply wouldn't be fair so i only compare myself to myself. naturally#but i used to think. very VAINLY i might say. that if i could draw like him id draw beautiful pictures of myself all the time#well ce n'est pas ca mon ami. since learning to draw i've found im much more interested in drawing ppl i find beautiful#rather than myself. im not art. not through my own eyes at least.#i should really draw ned sometime. i really should.#actually somewhat embarrasingly i tried to draw him like 5 or 6 years ago. and i NEVER tried to draw then#i did show him tho and he thought it was very impressive but that's probably just bc he loves me. xoxox#maybe ill post that someday as a throwback just for the hell of it. lol. thatd be cute
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why-the-heck-not · 3 months
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18.01.24, thursday
duolingo french streak 13
5h of researching & trying to figure out a thesis topic (I’m so bad at deciding this damn)
1.5h walk
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acronym49 · 3 months
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A handful of animations I've done over the month!
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mitamicah · 3 months
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I see a lot of people have made covers of the snippet of Everybody's Waiting (the new JO track)
I may do it too but at the same time I am hesitant given that I am 90% sure they won't see it (since everything else I'd ever made have never been noticed by them - Bojan's big share yesterday included) and if by chance it is getting seen I am not sure how I'd feel having the first thing noticed by them be just another cover
I am probably overthinking things again
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apparitionism · 1 year
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Tabled 2
Hi again, @barbarawar ! Here’s a continuation of your @b-and-w-holiday-gift-exchange  present... it’s the second part of what has apparently decided to become a longer-than-two-part story. (This is kind of a short part, and I’m trying mightily to keep it to three, I swear.) In any case, a narrative wants what it wants, and given that this one is trying to deal with what might have happened if Myka and Helena had the “coffee” suggested by Helena in Instinct, I guess some difficulty of resolution is the price of doing business. I postulated in part 1 that Myka didn’t deal at all well with that “coffee,” and that it in fact initiated a cascade of lies, subterfuges, and all-around poor choices. Is that a sustainable mode of living? We’ll see. She might need a wake-up call. Who could deliver such a thing? Hm...
Tabled 2
Myka had run to the book because using her body to lie belonged, so clearly and painfully, to a new and different equivalence class of untruths.
If only she could have narrated a relationship with Pete instead. Sat at a table and told a series of story-lies about it—to herself, to him. Then she wouldn’t have so desperately needed the book to speak a different story.
Despite her need, however... nothing. From that nonresponse, Myka had taken the lesson that with regard to the future, what you see is what you get. What you see is all you get.
That being the case, she’d begun the work of reconciling herself to it.
She had soon thereafter received a text from Helena: a brief “Coffee?”, to which she had responded “Sorry, busy” without even asking for details, because one thing to which she could not reconcile herself was the way in which, even now (especially now), her heart leapt to see “Helena” appear in a notification.
The leap, its shock familiar yet striking her anew with its force, was a piercing reminder of those times before, when she had been so high-wire alive. Even as the coffees themselves had left her unsettled, incomplete, each new heralding text had lacerated her with frustrated want, the hot pain of things once were different. The prod of Myka, you once were different.
A fall into love had ripped her open; one into sin was now closing her up. She didn’t want to be reminded of either.
“You will never lose this friend” seemed now a curse, not a promise; another way of saying that she would never lose a particularly turbulent priest.
Will no one rid me...
****
As the wake of Artie’s are-you-the-culprit interview widens, Myka sees that she must rid herself of that priest. She cannot, in fact, endure the heart-leaps of more “coffee?” texts; and, beyond that, she needs fewer tables. If she can shed these sit-downs with Helena, where the lying began... it may be a false idol, but now she is choosing belief: that she can edit herself down to a way of living that is rational, even cold, such that she can functionally confront each new hour, day, week, every measure of time to come.
So. Initiating a “coffee,” which she has never done before, she texts Helena. It’s terse but, ironically, true: “I need to talk to you. In person.”
She is surprised to be surprised when she receives a nearly instantaneous reply, a simple “yes.”
Myka texts back her plan, which begins: “Meet you halfway.” Halfway is Chicago: between South Dakota and New York, where Helena now resides—with, Myka presumes, or at least near, the ideal Giselle.
Helena can have her. Myka will be her own ideal: she will be the person who sits at the table, the person who says the necessarily dismissive, lying words. Rationally. Above all, rationally.
She hopes the book will be willing to help that person.
Now, for what she knows must be the last time—the real third time, the real charm—she confronts the volume. “I’m making an end,” she tells it. “I need a shape.”
Could a book roll its eyes? Of course not. But an artifact certainly could.
That artifact may be adolescently scornful of Myka and her request, but it is no longer unresponsive. She resists considering what that means, concentrating instead of the book’s actions: it once again page-turns her to the later questions. She understands immediately why, as she is blinded to everything but question forty-three: “What will be the result of what I am about to undertake?”
She turns the page to reach the chart. She closes her eyes.
Superstitiously (not hopefully; hope is a drug she is trying to kick), she’s sharpened a brand-new pencil for the occasion. She now lowers its point to the page deliberately (not hopefully), but the instant it makes contact, her hand spasms, bouncing the spike of graphite elsewhere, jamming it there against the page, and she feels it snap and splinter.
She opens her eyes to find that she’s made two very clear selections, which is to say, she’s marked the book rather than simply touching it: the first is a right-pointing three-pebble triangle; the second—the one she twitched to and broke against—is a similarly small triangle, this one pertly upright. The first she knows as mathematical, about subgroups and containment; the second, obviously and cross-disciplinarily, is the delta of change.
“Both?” she asks, but it’s rhetorical. Surely the book itself produced her twitch, either via artifactual telekinesis or a physical nudge of its pages, to offer her two answers. The confirming page-ruffle is just punctuation.
And so she proceeds to the prophecies. The first, the right-pointer, is “You will only commit blunders.” Well. The book has known her for a while now, so that’s not a difficult prediction to make. She’s surprised, in fact, that it hasn’t given that one to her every time.
She turns to the second, the one corresponding to the delta. That one yields, “It will be of a satisfactory nature.”
“Oh, thanks,” she says. Sarcasm, but she shouldn’t be so cynical; the book is sensitive. These conjoined answers might feel like a joke, but even a joke has a shape. “I’m sure I’ll do it,” she tells her counselor. “The blunders of course. Satisfactory, though?”
No ruffle, no sigh. Myka is on her own.
****
Myka has arranged to meet Helena in the airport, for she is trying to make this excision as surgical as possible. Her return flight (well, the first of two) leaves three hours after her arrival; the layover is that long only because getting to and from South Dakota means bowing to airline schedulers’ ideas about which places merit reasonably quick access. Regardless of how pressing a person’s need to escape O’Hare might be.
In any case, the significance of the word “terminal” is not lost on her.
She catches her first glimpse of Helena from an entire length of concourse away—it’s a flicker, a mere suggestion of Helena-ness—but Myka knows it’s her. Once upon a time, she might have reveled in the intimacy of it, the way she knows the sight. Other people, indeed every other person, in the airport, the city, the country, even on the planet, might appreciate that sight, but Myka knows it. She knows the stride; she knows the toss of hair. She knows the bravado... knows it as a front. Knows it paper-thin.
But she can spare no sympathy for Helena’s fragility, nor for whatever it might cause her own heart to pulse.
This is the end, though, so she offers herself a tiny dispensation: for the length of Helena’s walk from gate B14 to B11, she will imagine this meeting is taking place in a different world. “Let’s start again,” she might say, in that different world. “Let’s run away and start again.”
Helena passes B11. That different world is no more.
Myka schools her face—her face that has been so revealing in the past—as Helena nears.
The line at the gate-adjacent Starbucks is short, yielding no time for much talk past “hello” and “how was your flight,” and that’s fortunate, because Myka has been witless to prepare anything cogent. She has, however, compiled a list of several synonyms for “ended.”
She’s considering launching without preamble into those, just pronouncing them all, one by telling one, then turning her back. But once she and Helena have collected their cardboard cups and sat down across from each other at a high table among a cluster between gates, Helena is the one to deliver the first salvo: “I presume you’re here to tell me about you and Pete.” She says it with a head-toss that seems rehearsed, but does she mean to convey nonchalance? Or is it nothing more than vain look-at-my-hair emphasis?
Myka can’t deal with either one. “Do you,” she says, as blandly as possible, but inside she is seething. She had not intended to say anything about that. She had intended to pretend it did not exist, to let that sin of omission be a relief, but someone has thwarted her. She suspects Steve... suspects it might have something to do with protection. She begins prepping a high-minded rebuke to be delivered later, even as she tells him now, in her head, where he and his truth-detection have taken up residence, You will not alter what I am here to do. “How did you hear?” she asks, again bland. Matter-of-fact, because of the matter of this fact.
“Claudia told me,” Helena says.
So much for the rebuke. Everything about this is going in the wrong direction. But there’s no right direction, so of course it is.
“I guess she’d know, wouldn’t she,” Myka says. She isn’t able to fully disguise her sourness at the idea of Helena and Claudia being in contact, but ultimately that’s all the more reason to detach. Helena has plenty of Warehouse connections, and that means Myka isn’t special. Here, too, she needs to be reasonable, to curtail any wish for that. Among so many other things.
And so she lies even more extensively than she did at the Round Table, despite the absence of Mrs. Frederic and Steve to goad her, telling a story about a story, investing her gray despair with cartoonish color, reciting again her ultimate line—her ultimate lie. Saying it out loud again, she feels her lies folding in on themselves, then expanding outward, untruths about untruths. She pushes on, however, ignoring the entanglement: “That was really my defining moment,” she concludes. “When I realized.”
She wishes Helena’s face would change, but it doesn’t. Yet another wallop of finality. The end, the end.
A moment passes: a suspension of time in which nothing at all happens. If only it could last forever...
But then Helena’s eyes narrow. “I don’t believe you,” she says. It’s blunt. It’s also defensive, and that is a change.
Myka does not know whether to rejoice in or lament the fact that she is not, here at the end, a competent enough liar for an audience of H.G. Wells. So she punts: trying for flippant, she says, “Well, congratulations, you and Pete finally have something in common, because he didn’t either. Not at first.”
That conjures the scene in which she had persuaded him... and that in turn brings home to her the fact that she has no bodily way to persuade Helena of anything. Her disruptive id, however, offers up an alternate scene, one in which she pulls Helena to her, Helena instead of Pete, into a kiss intended to convince somebody of something.
But even as Myka would do that, still, now, if she could, the back of her neck prickles with “maybe I can hurt you like you hurt me.” Because while she has tried to see that Helena must have had her reasons (for Nate), and must have her reasons (for Giselle), she doesn’t care about reasons. She cares about pain. Then, how guttingly she felt it. Now, how retributively she might inflict it.
“You and me. This is the end,” she says, hoping Helena feels the snap of the words. Hoping she feels it against her neck.
“Because of you and Pete?” That’s contempt.
Myka is about to say yes, to lie and throw that contempt right back in her face, to lie and throw it and then stand up and walk away and never look back.
But she owes the entirety of the situation just this bit of truth. “I want to say yes,” she begins, and Helena frowns. Myka can’t, now, spare the space to cherish that frown. “But the real answer is no, because it’s me. I can’t sit at tables and pretend to drink coffee and act like small talk matters. I wasn’t your roommate at...” She pauses for what she intends as a condemnatory moment. “Idaho Tech.”
Helena exhales in response a disdainful sniff. “Don’t misquote me. You remember precisely the lie I told.”
Righteous, even now. Myka can’t contain her resigned sigh. “I’m saying it doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve got Giselle, I’ve got Pete, and we’ll both be fine.” Now she does stand up—trying for the physical embodiment of “it doesn’t matter anymore”—but she moves her hands too dramatically: she knocks her cup over, and coffee from the untasted container glugs like slow blood from its plastic lid onto the innocent tabletop.
Well, there’s an obvious blunder. That book... its truth. Myka hurries to right the cup, then uses a comically inadequate single, flimsy napkin to begin mopping the spill (another obvious blunder: not having anticipated needing a stack). But while her clumsiness annoys her, as does the delay, she appreciates the latter as providing one little extra indulgence before she says and, worse, hears, the last goodbye.
She is in any case discomfited by the way Helena watches her attempted cleanup: silent, appraising. It feels like the past, but having that attention focused on clearing a slick of cold coffee from a table is so... inappropriate. It’s a waste. It’s small, so small; not scaled to the past. The pathetic downsizing offers yet more reason to know this as a sunset.
Of course Myka is not, and will never be, ready for the fading end—of the sight of this face, of the sound of this voice—but she has nailed herself to this cross, and she can’t climb down now (never mind what she ever said to anybody about crosses and getting off them and... never mind). She’s going to live out her life in a way that makes continuous sense, not as a trudge punctuated by interludes that make her wish for a more electric timeline. The Warehouse had, via Helena, shown her such a bright flash, but that light is gone. In its absence, surely, the Warehouse will show itself as big enough, will offer enough, to fill a different unfolding’s worth of life.
In any case, her future is set. The evidence of her having committed blunders is clear. Now must be the time for Myka to turn to whatever it is that will be “of a satisfactory nature.” Whatever it is, it’s probably the best she can hope for, going forward.
She draws in a breath and begins, “So I guess this is...”
But she doesn’t finish, because she’s distracted by movement from Helena’s side of the table.
What is she doing?
She’s pushing her chair back and standing, taking up her own untasted coffee container into her right hand. She’s looking not at Myka but at that cup, and Myka can hear, in this flash of relative silence, a tap-tap-tap of Helena’s fingernail against the cardboard. That draws her attention to the cup, to the hand—and suddenly Helena’s left hand swoops in to rip the cup’s lid away, and her right hand moves back then forward—and in that blink of motion, the cup’s tepid contents rush toward Myka, dousing her torso.
Myka looks down. Her shirt is soaked—soaked—with coffee.
She looks up.
Helena is gazing at her in something very like triumph.
TBC
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ladyanidala · 10 months
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Well, since ao3's still down, might as well update my chrome browser...
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing#ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like#visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do#so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible#mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done#but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing#how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate#and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem#it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research#assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head#and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck#it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads#to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed#bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me#so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a#slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would#b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated
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dearedwardteach · 5 months
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I'm probably going to regret this but what have people been saying about jimin? I haven't been on Twitter all day.
im not on twitter at all but still i read about it i cant seem to escape the drama 😩 apparently (cuz i went looking into it a bit more and nothing has been confirmed by hybe or the sk ministry of defense so it might be false in the end and we'll probably never know anyway) some jk solos/taekookers have addressed a formal complaint to the ministry of defense towards jimin, arguing that he is gay and should not be put in the same baracks as jk for the later's safety (completely bonkers, they literally lived in the same cramped dorm room for years. ANYWAYS). since there are laws that discriminate against queer ppl in the sk army they have to investigate that claim (if you are known to be queer the army will categorise you as having a mental disability, you can also be dishonorably discharged... also if i understand correctly, if you have sex while in military facilities and while not being off duty, it's authomatically considered sexual assault/harrasment). anyways all that to say that if the rumours turn out to be true i hope hybe will take legal actions against those ppl. i mean they never have before no matter how far solos/shippers/stalkers have taken things but this is endangering jimin on a whole new level. cause it doesn't matter what his sexual orientation is: what matters is that there's a doubt, that's plenty enough for bullies, they don't need you to actually be queer they need you to be an easy target. the good thing for jimin (which isn't the case for most kpop idols who experience a lot of bullying and harrasment during military service), and for bts as a whole, is that they are so famous and so indispensable to sk as a political weapon now nobody will let random men bully them. but you never know yk? and the same ppl who claim that two members are queer and in love are being the most queerphobic pieces of shit possible. i hate shippers with a passion those ppl have always been on another level of queerphobia and queerphobic violence.
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virgovirghoe · 9 months
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this guy keeps asking/saying he can’t wait to “see me in person” and i’ve already told him twice now to make plans. he asked again today but this time actually came with plans which are “come over and watch a movie with me” so i think imma gone head and go to his house and spend the night and rob him.
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jonny-b-meowborn · 10 months
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Guess who fucked her wrists up during work because he refused to go on a single break because he felt like that's the only way to prove she's not useless since her autism stops her from doing anything a person his age "should" do
#its me. if you couldn't guess#i did that#i didnt do any actual damage to my wrists but they are in pain and i can already feel that its gonna get worse#and ill probably have an awful time trying to sleep because of it#and look.#i know that im not useless#i know that prople who have similar or bigger struggles aremt useless either#i dont believe that anyone's worth depends on having a job or being productive or whatever#i do know that#but sometimes even when you know something you dont feel it#yknow what i mean#and this blueberry plantation is the only job i can have right now#im not built for a dayjob but im able to work for a few hours with saplings every now and then#though that is. very physically tiring#which is also extra frustrating to me as a young person#because the other older ladies at the job always make me feel like im not allowed to be tired or in pain because im young#so i never say that im tired until im alone w my mom#and i want to prove that im not a useless parasite. i can do some work. so i might as well give my all#and dont take any breaks#im not trying to excuse hurting myself#but you know. its hard to think straight and respect myself sometimes#sometimes its easier to hurt myself in ways that make other people think good of me#im treating myself to some snacks now tho#gonna go buy myself some chips and smoke s cigarette and watch silly videos and play games and go to bed#and yes i know that being kind to myself after i was cruel to myself doesnt fix that#i shouldn't have the mindset of#yeah im being unnecessarily cruel to myself but at least im gonna reward myself later :)#but y'know what can you do#(go to therapy i should go to therapy)#bee buzz
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kaeyx · 1 month
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help do you sleep, i swear i alwyas see updates 2 hours ago all the time 😭😭
I do not lol
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willowcrowned · 10 months
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not sure how many of you are up, but I slept for a whopping two hours and am not going back to fall back asleep, so I'm planning to write until the doctor comes in at—ah, fuck. at least three, possibly four hours from now.
so! let's do a keep me company while I write! send me asks talking about your day, or cool pictures, or progress updates on your projects, and I'll use it as a little treat during my breaks (bonus points if you too choose to work during this time so we can be work buddies)
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blodeuweddschild · 1 month
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Imo most of the time a child should decided to do/not do something not because they know their parents don’t want them it and they’re scared of the consequences, but because their parent has explained why something should/shouldn’t be done in a way the child understands and makes sense to them. And consider if you can’t find a reason to explain to your kids, maybe there’s no reason at all and your rules are arbitrary
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steelycunt · 1 year
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I’m not saying that a lot of Regulus fans are only interested in him because they picture him as a Timothee Chalamet insert and wouldn’t give half a fuck about the character if that fancast didn’t exist but… oh wait that is what I’m saying.
yeah i mean. i definitely think there's something in that lol honestly. as ive said before i never really got the interest in regulus i just couldnt care less about the guy he genuinely has zero canon character but. simultaneously i can see how the little that we do know about him makes him an interesting character and i can see why people enjoy the idea of him as a blank slate that you can superimpose nearly any traits you want on to--treating regulus as essentially an oc gives you lots of room for creation. its for these exact reasons that he is of no interest to me personally, and i really don't like the common conceptualisation of him that has emerged from popular headcanon consensus (especially when it involves stripping his character of all agency and half the things that could arguably make him compelling in order to gloss over the fact that he was a death eater) but thats a matter of opinion i suppose. thats a me problem. its just not my cup of tea.
the timothee chalamet thing irritates me for the same reason the ridiculous instagram model/influencer/celebrity fancasts for most characters irritate me, because one of the ONLY things we know about regulus is that he is 'less handsome than sirius'. like ok why not work with that. especially with a character like him where there is virtually nothing to work with. like please explain to me why you refuse to accept that im genuinely curious. why is that the aspect of his character you are so firmly refuting lol.
all in all, if the character is only likeable or interesting or a convincing love interest if you have to pretend they were actually super conventionally attractive, maybe they're just not that likeable or interesting or well-suited to the character you're trying to pair them off with. its a personal thing again i am just not interested in reading/writing about a cast of characters who are all meticulously tailored to conform to beauty standards i do not respect. the minute u try to convince me all your characters are super hot n yassified it all feels less real to me sorry i care less about them. im bored of hot characters i think all fictional characters should be made to look like normal everyday people and i think everyone should be less afraid of so-called ugliness i triple dog dare u
#the 'you' here is just a general vague you btw it is not directed towards any one person and obviously not you anon we're in agreement#and reading it back i fear i may come off a little more aggressive than i intended so psa this is all my opinion like. do what you want#i am not the final word on this issue or any other. i am just a guy no 1 is obligated to listen to me if they dont want to. except about r#anyway remember talking to liv about the whole regulus thing and how. the personality that has been invented for him just seems like#people were bored of r/s they wanted something like r/s but new so they superimposed remus' personality onto him and then added a#few bits of sirius. and this is all me ranting about my opinion mindlessly now but i think#its reflected in those stupid terrible incorrect quote joke posts and how you see one of them where its remus and sirius and then see the#exact same post remade except remus has been changed to regulus and sirius has been changed to james. like yeah because regulus#is just a carbon copy of remus except if he was goth lol. we've done this one before its the same thing#and absolutely regulus can be done well and absolutely i am not a definitive judge of what is 'doing regulus well' just as no one else is#but i think if u want to do regulus well u have to make him less likeable. like he cant be ur soft loveable fav. girl he was a death eater#same as i think the whole barty / evan / regulus / pandora gang is just people refurbing the marauders. same thing different colour#anyway. i feel about regulus the same way i feel about dorcas or mary or marlene. they are not really characters#they dont have any definitive canon traits and i am not really interested in creating ocs. but other people might love that idea!#which is fine!#whew. love it when i get asks about things im scared to talk about of my own accord like i cant get in trouble if you guys asked me first x#anon#telegram#the brothers black#also girls he is a product of generation after generation of inbreeding. the black family should look like the windsors sirius was an#outlier.#oh also sorry i thought i was done but i want to clarify that i am no way saying you cannot be interested in morally grey characters or#find them compelling. instead what i am trying to say is that pretending a morally grey character actually isnt morally grey#in order to justify the fact that you are interested/fond of/compelled by them is boring and a disservice to your fav. hope that makes sens#within what we do know about regulus there are things that make him GOOD but not really anything that makes him likeable. and so much#of popular headcanon seems to be bestowing a ton of likeable traits upon him in order to redeem him despite there being no canon basis 4 it#like. we know regulus was a death eater 'it wasnt his decision he was forced into it!' we know regulus was less handsome than sirius 'no he#wasnt he was also super hot!' do you see what you're doing. you're losing me.
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