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dear-veronica-sawyer · 7 years

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Secret (J.D. x Reader)

“Could you do a jd x reader where they've been friends for a while and she confronts him abt heather's suicide and take it where ever you want ((;“

(Wow this took a really long time. I’m so sorry!! There’s been a lot of stuff happening in my personal life and also I am a major procrastinator help) (also lmao im not completely sure if this is what you wanted but here ya go its not really a confrontation ugh im sorry im bad at life also the ending is rushed sorry)

(Idk why but he turned out to have more of a movie J.D. personality, sorry!)

WC: 1,709

Warnings: suicide mentions (obviously), unhealthy relationship, cussing, the very beginning of this is kinda angsty WHOOPS, gets kinda steamy i guess, majorly ooc whoops

(I DO NOT IN ANY WAY CONDONE UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS)

Ever since you had heard what happened, it seemed you were stuck in your own head. It felt like you were stuck in this endless loop of “that can’t be true, that can’t be true, that can’t be true”. Ms. Fleming tried to talk to you, with little to no response.

There is no way Heather Chandler commit suicide, was the thought that been running through your mind for what seemed like forever. None of your friends understood why you seemed so fixated on Heather’s death. You didn’t blame them, simply because you didn’t fully understand it either. You hated Heather Chandler, and Heather Chandler hated you. She bullied you constantly, so why would you be so worked up over this?

Well, if you were being honest, it’s because it didn’t make any fucking sense.

There were too many holes in the story, too many inconsistencies. The suicide note didn’t sound like Heather at all. You weren’t buying the whole “popular girl on the outside, tortured soul on the inside” shit. And why would she kill herself by drinking drain cleaner, of all things? That just didn’t seem like Heather Chandler to you.

“Hey... (Y/N)? (Y/N)... (Y/N)!!” A deep voice broke you out of your thoughts and you were brought back to the present.

You were at you friend (and longtime crush) J.D.’s house. Luckily, his sleazy dad wasn’t home to make you uncomfortable. You were sitting on the couch, watching a random TV show with a slushie in your hand. J.D. had been waving his hand in front of your face to catch your attention. Once he realized you had snapped out of it, his tense posture relaxed and he raised an eyebrow.

“What were you thinking about?” He took a sip of his cherry slushie and you tried (keyword: tried) not to look at his red-stained lips that were currently smirking. You also tried not to look at his messy, but somehow perfect hair. Or those mysterious eyes that seem like they could hold the secrets to the universe within them.

Damn, if there is one person who can get Heather Chandler off of your mind, it’s J.D.

“Oh, you know... stuff.” You so eloquently replied. Really, (Y/N)? “Stuff”? You mentally berated yourself.

“Oh, really?” J.D. deadpans. “What kind of stuff?”

“Um...” You fidget with the hem of your shirt nervously. “It might sound stupid.”

“Tell me.” He rests his hand on your arm, and electricity races through your entire body. Your eyes are cast downwards and you take a deep breath.

“It’s about Heather Chandler.” You say in a quiet tone. J.D. doesn’t say a word, and the silence between you is almost deafening. The only thing you could hear was the TV show in the background, until J.D. slowly picks up the TV remote and presses the mute button.

“(Y/N)...” He says slowly.

“It couldn’t have been suicide, J.D.!” It was like a dam broke (*insert Percy Jackson reference here*), but emotions flooded out rather than water. “It doesn’t make any sense!”

“It makes perfect sense, (Y/N)!” J.D. seemed to be getting more and more agitated every time another word came out of your mouth. You didn’t understand why.

“No, J.D., it doesn’t!” You protested.

“Oh, really? How does it not make sense?” He scoffed back at you.

“Heather Chandler was a dramatic person. We can agree on that.” J.D. nodded in agreement to your words. “If that’s so, why did she kill herself by drinking drain cleaner? I think we can both agree that it would make more sense if she did something much more attention grabbing, like purposely crashing her car into a tree and blowing up, or whatever.” (A/N: okay wow, i feel horrible for even writing that. unfortunately, i’m trying to make this fic as believable as it would be in the heathers universe, and, uh, they’re pretty blunt about this stuff. i’m still really sorry tho :/ )

“Are you really questioning the way she commit suicide? That’s a little morbid, even to me.” J.D. said flatly.

“I... I just...” You stuttered out. You hadn’t expected J.D. to be this cold and uncaring about the situation. Something about this wasn’t right. You took a deep, calming breath.

“I think it might be murder.” You choke out. J.D.’s expression was completely unreadable. He leaned in closer to you, his lids half shut. Your breath hitched. You would have (naively) thought that he was going to kiss your worries away if you hadn’t seen his smirk.

“Why do you think that?” His voice sent shivers down your spine, something that didn’t go unnoticed by him. You saw his smirk deepen.

“Uh, well... I, um, it’s just-” You were stumbling over your own words. You could feel your face burning, but you couldn’t move away. He took a strand of your hair between his fingers and played with it softly. It’s almost as if he knew the effect he had on you (hint: he did. He would have to be an idiot not to notice).

“Can you keep a secret, (Y/N)?” J.D. asked, almost in a whisper. He was driving you insane.

“Um, y-yes?” You manage to spit out. You blinked your eyes furiously, not understanding where J.D. was going with this. Also, you were desperately trying to ignore the fact that he seemed to be getting closer to you - but that’s just your imagination, right?

Oh shit, it’s not your imagination. His face was so close to yours, if you tilted your head even slightly upwards, your lips would touch. Just one move, one singular move, and everything would change. Do it, (Y/N), a surprisingly courageous voice inside your head said.

Before you could do anything, a low voice interrupted your thoughts.

“You’re right.”

You pulled back your head a bit in confusion. “What?”

“You’re right. Everyone else in this school would never even guess that it wasn’t true. But you... you knew something wasn’t right from the beginning. You’re smart, and that’s why I became friends with you in the first place.” J.D.’s eyes had a dark, angry tint that wasn’t there before. “I know that of all people, you would understand.”

“Understand what? J.D., what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Heather Chandler, (Y/N).” He said quickly. “You’re right. It wasn’t a suicide.”

You processed this information for a moment. You knew it! Of course, it wasn’t suicide! You were right!

Wait. Hold on. Something about this is off.

Your eyes widen and you stare at J.D. in horror and disbelief.

“J.D... How do you know that?” You ask, not daring to rise above a whisper. No. No, there is absolutely no way that your best friend is a murderer. He can’t be. That’s ridiculous. This is all a misunderstanding. Please be a misunderstanding.

J.D. looks at you expectantly. “Come on, you’re smart enough to figure it out.”

Your worst fears have been confirmed, and honestly, it feels like a punch to the gut. You could feel the color draining out of your face. Your best friend took someone’s life, and judging by his reaction, he doesn’t feel very guilty about it. You start to move away from him without thinking. He grabs your arm and pulls you back.

“(Y/N), don’t be like that! Hear me out!” You refused to look him in the eye and he made a frustrated noise. He lifted your chin up so you had no choice but to stare at him face to face.

“Heather Chandler was a complete and utter monster. She terrorized people daily and she was never given any consequences. She deserved what she got. We can rid this world of assholes like her together!” He exclaimed passionately.

“J.D....” You said weakly. Fuck, if only you weren’t looking at him right now. If you weren’t looking at him you could definitely say no. You could say no and call the police and never have to deal with this again.

But you knew, looking at his face, you wouldn’t be able to resist. You would say yes. You would go along with his plan. A sick part of you was telling you, “Doesn’t he have a point? Heather Chandler was horrendous.” But the rest of you disagreed. No one deserved a fate like that, even someone as terrible as Heather.

But here you were, nodding as he gave you the most persuasive look he could muster. You hated yourself for it, but it was too late now.

As soon as he saw you nod, his face broke out into a rare smile. God, you knew you should hate him, but you were still a hormonal teenage girl who was in love with an idiotic boy. Not to mention, that smile was pretty fucking irresistible. When he looked at you like that, almost all of the worries and self-loathing from your previous decision were erased from your mind.

You weren’t thinking when you leaned in and pressed your lips to his, but you know you certainly weren’t expecting him to kiss you back.

You threaded your fingers through his hair while he gently pushed you on your back, hovering over you. The kiss was was full of fire, almost like a battle. His hands ran down your body until they came to rest at your waist. It seemed like you could keep kissing him forever, until you remembered that you needed to breathe.

You (albeit reluctantly) pull away. God, the sight of J.D like that was... amazing. His hair disheveled, his face pink, his breath coming out in sharp pants. You couldn’t think of anything that could even come close to comparing.

“I love you.” Those three words came out before you thought of the possible repercussions. To your surprise, he merely smirked.

“I know.” He said in a husky voice. You couldn’t take the time to revel in how breathtaking his voice sounded, because his mouth was on yours in almost a second. The kiss was so passionate that you knew in that moment that you were in way too deep, but God, you felt so alive. It felt like your body was racing with electricity. It was a perfect mixture of pleasure and excitement and you knew you could never let that go.

It was that euphoric feeling that made you stay. That euphoric feeling that made you keep his secret from anyone and everyone. Jason Dean had you wrapped around his finger, and you would never have it any other way.

#fic request #heathers x reader #jason dean #jd #jd x reader #lol this took forever #sorry bout that #em writes stuff

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poklina · 7 years

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nobody asked but yet here it is. i rewrote monday’s scene with jace crying because i love suffering

chapter 2 of torn apart on saturday and then something big comin in abt a week anyways here it is

skyline - 2.3k

The first time he found Alec on the roof of the Institute, Jace didn't really understand why he had to come up here to let out his anger. It was cold, and the New York traffic was loud and distracting, and if Alec wanted to shoot arrows, why didn't he just do it down in the training room?

But Alec kept going up there, and Jace kept following. At any hour of the day or night, you could be sure that Jace has sat with his back to the door, just watching Alec shoot arrow after arrow until his hands were rubbed raw. It got to a point where Jace just stopped asking why, and started asking how can I help.

Damn, what I'd give for someone to ask me why.

The thought floated through his head like a piece of paper on the wind, quickly brought down by another choking sob that clawed it's way out of his throat. He didn't know how long he'd been up here, and he found that he really didn't care. His head was pounding and another wave shot through it every time another pathetic cry tore out of his throat. No one could hear him up here, or see him.

Maybe that's why Alec came up here so often.

The heel of his hands came up to wipe at his eyes roughly , resulting in just more blurred vision and hot tears sliding down his face. Why was he so fucking upset?

Oh yeah. Simon.

He'd tried to avoid him, he really did. After the bite, Jace felt like he couldn't breathe when he was around Simon. Of course, that wasn't really any different from normal, but this...this was worse. Every time he saw him, he was just reminded him of everything he could never have; a happy ending. Simon was with Clary, and obviously loved every minute that he was, that much was obvious. What with the constant kissing and the hugging and twirling and -

Anyways. He'd thought it would've gotten better with time, with distance and separation, but even that didn't work. Because Simon was everywhere, even when he wasn't physically around. Jace kept seeing everywhere; in Clary's smile, in Izzy's jokes, in Jace's blood, crawling towards his heart like a poison. So he turned to fighting, training. The only thing he really knew about himself right now. In the courtyard, sparring with Alec, he almost felt normal again. Felt like nothing had changed.

But then Inquisitor Herondale showed up just to punctuate the fact that none of this was in any way 'normal'.

Being sent to get Clary felt like the universe had a personal vendetta against him. Because whenever Clary wasn't in the Institute, she was with Simon. And there he was. Sitting on a bench, looking every bit like the normal Mundane that he had grown to hate so much, just soaking up the sun like it was all just a regular fucking day. But none of this was fucking normal, and he didn't know why he was so angry all of a sudden, they're dating, they're allowed to sit together, you prick -

And then Simon had to lean in to kiss her, and the only thing that Jace could see was red.

Because he had felt that way before. He had felt Simon underneath him, drawing blood into his mouth like sucking a bruise into his neck, and Jace knew he shouldn't interfere, he knew that Simon was never his to begin with, he knew all of this and he hated that he knew it. Because he wanted more. Jace hated that he wanted more, wanted to feel Simon under him again and again and again, and in more places than just his arm. A fire roared in his stomach as he watched them on the bench, his brain clouded over with pictures of him and Simon against a wall, Simon sucking bruises into his neck, Jace doing the same, and Jace knew that he shouldn't want this, but oh, he did.

By God, did he want that.

It took every ounce of strength in him to move out from behind the van and step up to the happy couple without tearing Clary away and launching her into the river before them. Jace had become detached, a cold anger slowly searing it's way through his veins, and he thought it better this way. Because at least now, he could actually stand to look at Simon.

But then the idiot vampire started to talk to him.

He barely heard anything that he was saying, just letting his autopilot take over, lest he say something completely out of line. Distantly, he heard his responses to Simon's genuine kindness, too sharp and cruel for someone this genuine. He just wanted to walk away, find a tree to collapse against and scream into his palms how fucking unfair it was that he couldn't have him.

Simon actually leaned into hug him. Thank God he had enough mindfulness to turn him down bitterly, words slicing through the air like knives. Lord knows what he would've done had Simon actually had the chance to hold him.

(A small, selfish part of him wants to go back and find out.)

Oh. He remembers why he's on the roof. It's because of Clary.

She knows that they're not related. It should feel like a weight lifted off of his chest, a responsibility that he no longer has to be the sole keeper of. But it doesn't feel like that.

This feels like a bitter acid, eating away at him. Repeating everything she said to him in bright, bright Technicolor. Of course he didn't tell her at first. He know's exactly what she's going to do, and he can't bear to see Simon hurt like that. If she thinks it's about her, it is. It's all about her and what she's going to do to Simon when she finally decides she's sick of her rebound. And Jace swears to every living thing, he doesn't want Simon to get hurt. He doesn't want Simon to see how terrible love is like he did when his dad snapped his falcon's neck at 6 years old.

But another part of him does. Another part, dark and selfish, dripping in blood and vampire venom wants to see Simon break. And he wants to be there to pick up the pieces, put him back together gently and carefully, until his cracks are no more than shining silver scars.

Jace wants to hate that part of himself, but he can't fucking do it.

She told him to feel, that emotions can be helpful. How can she so…blind. Can't she see that's exactly what got him up here in the first place? He feels so strongly around Simon, it fucking feels like its tearing him apart, that's what it fucking feels like. He can't even stand to think of him, let alone be near him. Simon like is a flame and he is gunpowder, and he knows to the core of his soul that he needs to leave him alone, stay far, far away from this sunshine bright man, but he - he just can't. Jace wants to know what it's like to go up in flames, and love every second of it.

Is this what you mean, Clary? Is this how you want me to 'feel'? he thinks viciously, triggering a new flood of tears to come down over his face, teeth grinding together. He's been up here for only 5 minutes. Already, he doesn't remember what he was crying about. He just knows that when Clary hurts Simon, he will rip her limb from limb and see how she fucking feels about that -

The door scrapes across the bottom of the roof, sending a jarring noise straight up Jace's spine that tightens every muscle in his body with apprehension, waiting for the mocking of whoever's behind him. That is, until he hears Alec start to talk about the Inquisitor, like he could care about whatever that old lady was doing. He barely hears anything Alec is saying to him, until his hand lands on his shoulder and turns him around gently, absorbing the sight of Jace's bloodshot eyes and tears streaked face.

He doesn't ask any questions. He just pulls Jace close to him and lets him feel a little bit longer.

They eventually end up with their backs to the door, looking out over the New York skyline in silence. Alec hasn't said anything since he came up here, and the only noise Jace has made is the aborted sobs that he tries desperately to keep pushed down in his chest. He's stopped crying, for the most part. Alec's shoulder is wet with the proof that it took him longer than it should have to stop, and his pounding headache provides more evidence. They simply sit side by side, Alec waiting for the explanation that he knows Jace desperately needs to give. But he doesn't push. He knows what it's like to be pushed.

"It's him, Alec." Jace finally says, barely louder than a whisper, but Alec can hear him clear as day.

"Simon?"

"Of course its fucking Simon. He's been causing me problems since day fucking one and now I can't - I can't get him out of my head -" Jace continues, eyes screwed shut and hands pressing hard into his temples, as if he was trying to push any thought of Simon out of existence. God, if only it worked that way.

"What happened that night?" Alec asked slowly, glancing over at Jace to gauge his reaction. None was given; he simply stayed as he was, knees locked to his chest and hands buried in his hair.

"You can't tell anyone. Okay? Not Clary, or Izzy, or Luke, no one. No one can know, Alec."

"I swear it."

Jace swallowed hard, and his conversation with Simon came back in full force at the front of his mind. Of course, he shouldn't tell Alec. But at this point, he didn't really seem to care.

"Valentine - Valentine slit his throat open. Alec, it was - it was awful. There was so much blood, fuck -" Jace managed to get out before his throat closed up entirely. Images flashed through his head, the red red red of Simon's blood against his skin, the coppery tang in the room that hit him like a train. It was all Jace could do to not start crying again then and there. "I went in as Clary to - to try and save him."

"He bit you." Alec said quietly, a slow realization blooming in his chest.

"Yea." Jace whispered back, sounding like the shell of a man who had been broken one too many times and was tired of being put back together.

"And then?"

"What do you think, Alec?" Jace said, a venomous sort of desperation leaking into his voice like oil dripping from his tongue. "He bit me, and I liked it. I thought I liked him before, but now - now I can't get him away from me." At this, he finally looked up at Alec, eyes considerably dryer than before but still hard and cold with anger. "Alec. He's - he's in my skin, and my blood, and every time I look at him I want him so fucking badly. And - and I know I can't have him, can't ever fucking have him and it - it makes me want him even more."

Alec doesn't respond. How can he? What do you say to someone who's never going to get what they deserve, as much as they want it? Jace was right; Simon is happy with Clary -

And suddenly it all makes sense.

Of course he didn't tell her. He wanted to win Simon over, not come crawling to him to try and pick up the pieces. Alec's heart feels like its been cracked in 2, clean and sharp, no pain, just a dull aching throb of I'msorryI'msorryJaceI'msososorry. But even as Alec looked at Jace helplessly, he couldn't help but get stuck on something else he'd said.

"You liked him - before?" Alec said quietly, more to the stone roof under him than the person sitting next to him. It didn't matter; Alec could still feel Jace's sharp intake of breath after he realized what he'd just said. There was silence for a moment or two, as Jace tried to weigh how much of a mess he'd already made, and how much more could be made with his next few words.

"Of course I did."

There was nothing more to be said after that. Both of them knew that nothing could ever come of whatever Jace wanted. There were too many variables, too many things that could go wrong. Jace tried but failed to hold back another sob as the heels of his hands dug into his eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears that was steadily making it way down his face. Alec heard the choked noise and scooted closer to Jace, swinging an arm around him and pulling him into his side.

They sat that way for a long moment, Alec resting his head against the stone behind him as Jace continued to cry into his side. This was a part of Jace that didn't surface very often, and yet when it did, it came with a vengeance that required at least half an hour to calm him down. Every time he got this way, Alec's heart broke a little more for his parabatai, someone who deserves the world and gets nothing in return.

Jace still doesn't quite understand why Alec comes up here so often, but after today, he thinks he's starting to get it.

#jimon #eversall #simonsblondie #userbritt #claryfightwood #my fics #i was talkin abt this with kelsey and the this happened 4 days later #wow #anyways i hope u like this just smthing little

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xomaleriestar · 3 years

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Collection of notes

17.02.2021 at 10:02

so what i wanted to say before initially

is that i read the letter

and was wondering if its still relevant

ok so my response letter its so in heat of the moment and gross but whatever. i wanna share before ur travels and not think about it

i think i have feelings for you too big time but im hella damaged and have big problems w trust so its hard to accept any thoughts of them. i literally cant stop thinking about u and it burns in my chest when i do

its recent, like 2 weeks. always thought im totally tripping out and were totally chill but like bro when i went to take that covid test the other day thats when i realised that it might be a fucking problem cuz i literally felt empty inside w out u and im soso scared sooooo scared of being ok with "feelings" and its really goddamn hard to talk about them as well for me but lets see what happens in the next month

slight overview of damage: the more i open up the more distant i get usually. i've always felt im not worthy of anything good in life and im rotten throughout and its my "destiny" to lean how to give myself away to """"god"""" and reach enlightenment through my own methods

i think all comes from my relationship with my mom which i need to fix before being capable of love cuz ive felt my whole life like i have no idea what it is as i think my mother does not know either. so its been my plan all along to try and learn to love my mother on this trip and forgive her (my whole life i ive been dealing with trauma from my dad so new level now spiritually)

it completely quiet in estonia so my mind is racing but whatever

our souls are connected forever and i feel a very strong connection to u and ur very good to me or just are good

18.02.2021 at 08:15

i love you so fucking much. everytime i look at you or think of you i feel blessed. writing these letters im not sure you even exist anymore. (having flashbacks of i love dick :D)

and i relate with everything you've said

i'm honestly very very very confused as well with these things so don't be scared to move at your own pace and trust yourself first..? there's nothing to prove and we both are free and i dont need you to give me anything you dont want to. everything

at the right place right time. i feel lucky?

on the topic of trust... you are the first person in my life i've connected with only based on my gut feeling. i overthink a lot, but with you i havent had the need to. in the past i would change a lot for a person, but with you i've only gone deeper within and it's gotten me to a point where i have you and for the first time i feel ready and i dont want to distance myself to avoid getting hurt and im totally okay with being completely honest with you. the feeling of trust came very naturally but it's still scary. usually i search for understanding and i always feel i never get it but with you its so different, i dont think about it. i've never actually realised before now that it's trust i've struggled with and it makes sense with every part of my life. trusting myself with my art, trusting others with myself. again, coming back to my upbringing-it defo makes sense cuz i've never trusted my mother

it's defo a strange point in our timeline but im glad we've talked about these things and opened up more

please have a safe flight, i cant wait u to be in nyc already and defo call me i miss u so

15.03.2021 at 01:00

i just remembered that i almost gave away my room away in july and cuz i was so depressed wanted to stay in estonia. found a new person but she literally cancelled like a week before i came back to uk and my init

2:42 am

literally i cant sleep and am spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this voice memo from my dads bday in the summer where my mom got super depressive/manic and is crying and im talking with her and i cant get the fucking sounds out of my head and honestly im shocked i even recorded it. my whole childhood was literally spent by her facing the window in our kitchen, not showing her face and crying and later locking herself up in the bathroom and i literally got the whole thing recorded and its so painful to listen

ugh i cant fall back asleep, spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this crazy voice memo from summer, dads bday where my mom got super manic and i had recorded it and found it yesterday. listened to the whole thing a couple times and now its stuck in my head like some random song. i'll play it to u one day, it's literally my 9-18yrs explained in that recording. my thoughts are rapidly shifting between that voice memo and you, i literally spent the whole day thinking about you.

i once dreamt that i needed to speak to my mother, grabbed her by her shoulder to turn around to see her face but she kept turning around and had no face, only hair. i never saw her face and this one time when i was stoned, i was trying to remember her face and couldnt. now realising that maybe it was because of these moments

19.03.2021 at 10:42

i love you so fucking much i love you i love you i love you so mich i love you i love you i love u love u i love you i love you i love you so much i love you so much im in love woth you i miss you im in love with you im in love with you l love you i love you im in love with you im in love with you i love you i love you im in love im in love love i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you so i love you so i love you so much i love you so much i love you i love you i think i really love you i love you so much its hard to breathe and i think i really love you and it feels great to really say it to you

20.03.2021 at 17:12

love u so fucking much coumba honestly i hope youll have an amazing day. im gonna go offline for a bit

had a really strange dream, really mundane. took the metro home from some festival and was living in my grandmas apartment again and elevator was broken so had to take the stairs. but it was super slow and dramatic. on my way up (the apt is on 6th floor) i over heard my neighbour family fight and i left the door open to overhear what the topic was and they were yelling at their child?

i crave physical touch

hey hope ur being productive!! goddamn, ive just been writing and reading the whole day and figuring out this creative block situation/ why am i so triggered by work. found the right stuff to read and feeling full of life again. hope u are too

hope you're not second guessing me for getting sad yesterday. im feeling fucking crazy and it might be cause im starting my period. i keep rereading your letter.

26.03.2021 at 19:21

bless you

ur so nice to me

had a walk and it was really refreshing. feeling better but have so many anxieties that sometimes i just explode

i fucking love u too. sometimes its like ur my lifes worth of care i never

sometimes i feel like my lifes worth of good is coming to my life through you

......ur so nice to me....honestly i love u too so much..... i think it might be bc of full moon but im just like a total wreck today :D thanks for hearing me out before. and yes i'm excited to see whats waiting for me in london!!

in other news -.... called me rude and an egomaniac bc i told her i was depressed and feeling xtremely anxious blabla basically overview of what i told u today so will postpone thinking about countryside stuff. feeling like shit again lolzzzzzz bc of it.... we were supposed to go together with misha but misha cancelled right so im not really in a hurry which she knew and wished me a happy trip back to london. like whenever she doesnt get what she wants she goes off but i mean i do understand that im being an asshole as well so its like the perfect way to end this day

baah mh im just gonna rant here u dont even have to respond :D but i used to be really really selfless growing up and my parents always bring it up that i let my friends use me lol and ive been hella defensive abt it always bc i never knew how intense it was?. friends literally always came first and i kinda repressed my true self bc of embarrassment etc etc and two years ago it slowly started morphing into hurt and disappointment idk why i expected sth back (now i dont thats prolly why im super self centred and delusional as well i guess) so like after all this shit when im like yo having a hard time i get called a fucking egomaniac... i think im tired and honestly the fact that im getting along w evert so well makes me so happy but yeah since eliann is horrible at expressing emotions its harder

31.03.2021 at 20:20

❣️ is for 🚬👄👗COOL🕶☕️🏙❣️

❣️ is for 🎀🎀🎀ORIGINAL 🎀🎀❣️

❣️ is for ⭐️Ur A Star ⭐️ ❣️

❣️ is for MUSIC 🎧🔊🎶❣️

❣️ is for 🦋🦋 BEAUTIFUL 🦋🦋❣️

❣️ is for 💫💐🧚‍♀️ANGELIC 🏵🖼🔮❣️

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

02.04.2021 at 14:24

miiisssssssss uuuuuuu sooooo muuuccchhhh aaaannndddd caaannnnoooottttt wwwaaaaaiiiitttt toooo seeeeee uuuuuuu aaallllrrreeeaaaddddyyyyy iiimmmm sssoooop eeexxxccciiittteeeeddddd ffffoooorrrrr iiiittttt

11.04.2021 at 12:54

i really reaally love you

13.04.2021 at 21:53

have said this before but im drunk AGAIN and will say this AGAIN that i think ur amazing

14.02.2021 at 01:46

im in love w u

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