Bad Mobile Game Ad: The Roleplaying Game
Have you ever seen a deceptive ad for a mobile game showing gameplay elements that you know are definitely not in the game and thought, "Damn, if only I could bring that experience to my table?"
Yeah, me neither, but for some reason I still wrote a game based around my personal favorite fake gameplay style "Which number is bigger?" To play you'll need some friends, some d10s, and the rules included after the break.
Character Creation
Come up with your character concept, don't worry I believe in your ability to do that part without help.
Roll a d10, that value is your character's Power
Roll another d10 and add 5, that value is your character's Common Sense
That's it.
Playing This Cheap Parody of a Game
Characters start in a random location infested with enemies—perhaps a tower or dungeon—and are given some incredibly basic goal like resuing a princess or fucking a dragon.
If a character challenges an enemy with a Power score less than theirs, they automatically succeed, adding the defeated enemy's Power score to theirs and losing one point of Common Sense.
If a character challenges an enemy with an equal or higher Power score they suffer an embarrassing defeat and lose half their Power score.
However, when confronted with an enemy of a higher Power score, a character must test their Common Sense to not challenge them. This is done by rolling a d10, with success on a result equal to or less than the character's Common Sense. A character who fails this test must challenge the enemy, regardless of how obvious the power difference may be.
Power can also be increased by collecting items like weapons, armor, or horses.
Common Sense can be increased by purchasing crystal packs from the game master at the cost of $0.25 per d10 of Common Sense. Players may also gain one free d10 of Common Sense per session by giving the game a 5-star rating.
That's it. Have fun!
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Knight-off
Sounds of laughter and trumpets in the crisp, morning air signal the start of festivities. Joyful and colourful, the tournament begins. The knights, young and ambitious, gather from all around the realm to build their stories and gain fame. You are among them, looking for any opportunity to mark your place in history.
What do you need to play?
- a piece of paper and a pencil;
- a handful of six-sided dice;
- a scorekeeper and at least two players;
- a coin.
Players are knights who take part in a tournament, searching for fame and glory. And fame and glory are more important than life.
Base mechanics.
Every action during the tournament is decided by a roll of a d6 against a skill value. To complete an action successfully one needs to roll equal or below their skill value. For example: knight Eligius of the Fourth Trout has talking value equal to 3; he boasts about his skill in battle and a die is cast; die comes up as 2, which is below 3, thus Eligius passes this talking check; if the die came up as 4, his check would end up as a failure.
Some actions, ones that are taken by two player-controlled knights at the same time, will become “contested rolls”. In such actions, players still roll against their knight’s skill values but their success or failure is compared to their opponent’s. If both players succeed or fail, the roll is considered a draw. Only if one player succeeds and one fails, the winner may be determined. If 3 draws happen in a row, the winner of a contested roll will be decided with a coin flip.
During play, the players will amass heroic and tragic points for all actions their knights take part in during the tournament. One should aim to collect as many points of one type while minimising the amount of the other before the tournament concludes. The nature of points is decided by the scorekeeper unless specified otherwise.
The scorekeeper’s most important role during play is describing the current situation and keeping the game’s phases going. Scorekeeper can, at any point, award a player with a tragic or heroic point. Those awards must be given for a reason - a good description, a fantastic dialogue, a great roleplay moment.
Action order in all the phases is decided by rolls of a six sided die at the start of each phase. Whoever gets a higher number on the die goes first. Any ties are to be resolved by rolling dice between the tied players.
Knight Creation
Before starting the game, each player needs to create their knight. To do so, they shall follow the following steps:
A. Describe your knight. What’s their name? What’s their coat of arms? How do they look in their armour and out? What’s their favoured weapon?
B. Determine your knight’s skills. Divide 9 points among the following:
Fighting
Talking
Loving
Each of those skills needs to have a value of at least 1 and a maximum value of 6.
C. Choose or determine with a roll of a d6 the archetype of your knight from the following:
1. Black Knight - a villain, a scoundrel, despised yet feared. Every time a player interacts with a black knight, they gain one tragic point. If they lose a contested roll against a black knight, they get one more tragic point. Winning against a black knight will erase one tragic point and grant two heroic points in its place.
Every time another player fails a check, a black knight can choose to gloat - this will force a talking check from the black knight. Succeeding at such a check will grant one heroic point to the black knight and one tragic point to their target. Failure will grant the inverse.
Finally, if the black knight has more heroic points than any other player at the end of the tournament, all players (aside from the black knight in question) lose one fame die; the black knight gains a number of fame dice equal to the number of remaining players.
2. White Knight - a hero through and through, a force for good, a saviour of the weak. If there’s a black knight in the tournament, the white knight will gain a heroic point every time they oppose them with a contested roll. Winning such a contested roll will grant an additional heroic point; losing - two tragic points.
Every time a player succeeds at a check, the white knight may choose to praise them. This will force a talking check from the white knight. Succeeding at such a check will grant both the target and the white knight a heroic point; failure will grant nothing to the target and a tragic point to the white knight.
Once per phase, on a check failure or a contested roll loss, the white knight may choose to make an inspired speech and a talking check. On a failure, the white knight gains a tragic point; on a success, the white knight gets from 1 to 2 points, their quantity and type left to the scorekeeper’s discretion.
3. Pious Knight - a knight fuelled by their faith, a zealous servant of their god, searches for fame to better spread the holy word. Inverted scoring - fighting checks, including contested rolls, grant tragic points upon success and heroic upon failure.
During phases 3,4 and 6, the pious knight can choose to pray instead of interacting with other characters. After performing a prayer, a talking check must be performed. On a success, the pious knight gains 2 points, the type of which is left to the scorekeeper’s discretion; on a failure, the pious knight gains nothing.
During phases 3,4 and 6, if the pious knight is approached by another knight, one that has the pious knight as a love interest, sworn enemy or object of jealousy, they can choose to spend their action to forgive the other knight’s sins. In order to do that, one should do a talking check (not a contested one). On success, the other knight gains nothing and loses their action, while the pious knight gains two heroic points. On failure, the pious knight gains nothing and loses their action while the other knight is free to perform their’s, uncontested.
4. Prideful Knight - with a very noble blood flowing through their veins, they know they are better than everyone else. Every time the prideful knight wins a contested roll, they may choose to boast, triggering a talking check. Succeeding at such a check results in getting an additional heroic point; failing results in no gain at all. The prideful knight can also boast after losing a contested roll, to try to save face. The talking check triggered by such an action will use two dice and require a success on both. A successful check will take away one tragic point and grant one heroic point; a failure results in an additional tragic point.
During phases 3 and 4, and once during phase 6, the prideful knight can force another knight to use an action on an interaction with the prideful knight. Such a forceful interaction can only be performed when there’s still a knight who didn’t use their action during the aforementioned phases.
The prideful knight doesn’t gain any bonus heroic points from ending the underdog status during the phase 5. Winning while having the champion status active will grant the prideful knight an additional heroic point; losing will, however, double the granted tragic points.
5. Cursed Knight - cursed by a horrible fate, followed by a terrible fortune, their suffering - a stuff of fairytales. Every single check performed by the cursed knight, including contested checks, has to be performed with two six sided dice instead of one. To succeed at a check, the cursed knight must succeed on both used dice - success on only one results in a failure. Every time the cursed knight succeeds on a check or wins a contested roll, the amount of gained heroic points is doubled.
Every time the cursed knight scores two sixes on their dice, they must perform a coin flip. On a success, they gain nothing. On a failure, they gain three tragic points.
If the cursed knight scores two ones on their dice three times before the end of the tournament, the curse is lifted. This grants them three heroic points and three fame dice. It also turns them into a normal knight, disabling all the modifiers from their archetype.
6. Knight Errant - wandering knight, a lover, bringing honour to their beloved, wherever they go. At the start of the tournament, the knight errant must designate one character - either other knights or a member of the audience - as their beloved (if one of the knights is their love interest, they are designated as the beloved by default; knight errant cannot have more than one love interest). During phases 3 or 4, and at least once during phase 6, they must give all their attention to their beloved lest they lose half of their heroic or tragic points (whichever is greater).
Before performing any fighting check, including contested rolls, the knight errant may choose to dedicate the action to their beloved. Dedication does not need any checks. Succeeding on a check following the dedication will double the heroic points gained; failing on such a check will not give the knight errant any points (this includes any points that could be otherwise gained from different knight’s archetypes or relationships).
Any loving based check towards the knight errant’s love interest results in double points gained (regardless of the outcome).
D. Determine the relationship your knight has to every other player’s knight. Choose from the following or roll a d6 for each of the knights in game.
1. Love Interest - every loving check in relation to the love interest will have its reward doubled.
2. Sworn Enemy - winning any contested roll against the sworn enemy will grant doubled heroic points.
3. Object of Jealousy - after winning any contested roll against the object of jealousy one can choose to boast; this will trigger a talking check - succeeding such a check will grant one additional heroic point; failing will grant a tragic point.
4. Object of Admiration - every positive interaction with the object of admiration will grant a heroic point and every negative one - a tragic point; whether an interaction is positive or negative is up to the scorekeeper’s interpretation.
5. Longtime Rival - after every contested roll against the longtime rival, regardless of the outcome, one can choose to comment; a positive comment will grant a heroic point while a negative one will grant a tragic point; whether a comment is positive or negative is up to the scorekeeper’s interpretation.
6. Best of Friends - any time the best of friends is finishing an action, one can choose to praise them; this will trigger a loving check; succeeding at such a check will grant a heroic point to both the friend and the one praising them; failing will result in no point gain.
Phases of Play
Once your knight is ready, it’s time to begin the tournament. The audience is already sitting in their places, all the important people - the fair maidens and handsome lords - are watching intently. They want a spectacle and a spectacle they will get.
But first - introductions are in order.
PHASE 1: Introductions
The tournament crier introduces each and every knight taking part in the festivities. They mention their titles and quickly describe their deeds. What are your knight’s titles and what are their deeds? Describe them well and make them glorious.
After each introduction, the introducing player must roll a talking check. On success they get two points; on a failed one - just one. The scorekeeper decides whether the points gained are tragic or heroic.
PHASE 2: Jousting
It’s time to ride your steed and shatter some lances! All knights fight each other in a jousting competition. To determine the winner of each jousting duel, competing players do contested fighting rolls. Additional descriptions of the knights’ actions are very much welcome and may bring additional rewards.
Each win is rewarded with two heroic points and each loss with a tragic point unless specified otherwise.
PHASE 3 & 4: Love and War
A break between competitions, a time to mingle. Find your love interest, find your friend, find your foe and interact. Knights have time to talk to two characters, be it other knights or, in some cases, members of the audience. Fighting during the break is forbidden, thus the conversations ought to be kept civil. Flirting, tearful love confession, even brotherly love forces a loving check while boasting, gloating, arguments and those boring, normal conversations force a talking check. Both winning and losing at such a check may result in 1-3 points. Their nature and quantity is left to the scorekeeper’s discretion but - a rule of thumb - the more risky an action is, the more points it should award.
Every time a player chooses another player as a target of their action, the targeted player may also use their action, provided they still have an action to use. In such a situation, instead of performing a normal check, both players will perform a contested roll.
All is for show.
PHASE 5: Duel
The knights in shining armours, their flashy colours bright in the sunlight. Spikes and blades aimed at their opponent. Who will bleed first? Who will crash against the sand?
Much like jousting, the duels happen between each and every knight in play. The winner of each duel is decided by a contested fighting roll. Knights are pretty tired at this point, however, which leads to some consequences:
If a knight won more jousting matches than any other, they become a champion and gain a second die for each of their duels; they need to succeed on at least one of their dice for their roll to be considered a success. Similarly, if a knight loses more jousting matches than any other, they become an underdog and gain a second die; they need to succeed on both dice for their roll to be considered a success.
Each won duel grants two heroic points and each lost duel grants one tragic point unless stated otherwise. If a champion knight loses a duel, they lose their second die and gain three tragic points. If an underdog knight wins a duel, they lose their second die and gain three heroic points.
PHASE 6: Feast
The evening comes and the day of festivities nears its end. The generous hosts aren’t yet ready to send their guests to sleep for the night, however and a feast is quickly prepared. Every important person is invited and the brave champions of the tournament are among them. It’s your last chance to leave a mark in history (today).
Each knight has three chances to grab the crowd’s attention. They can choose any of their skills and perform a check around it after describing an appropriate action. Those actions may be:
- official duels, fistfights, drinking and eating contests, arm wrestling, etc. will trigger fighting checks;
- boasting, gloating, telling high tales about one’s deeds, arguing, singing, etc. will trigger talking checks;
- flirting, making out away from sight, bonding with a friend, praising one’s love interest, etc. will trigger loving checks.
Successes and failures can award from 1-3 points, their quantity and type left to the scorekeeper’s discretion. Every time a player chooses another player as a target of their action, the targeted player may also use their action, provided they still have an action to use. In such a situation, instead of performing a normal check, both players will perform a contested roll.
All is for show.
Conclusion - the tournament’s end
The final score calculation starts with summing up all the heroic and tragic points. The difference between those two values is equal to the number of fame dice. For example: after an intense day of jousting, dueling and scandalously sending kisses to her beloved, Lady Brunhilda of the Goose collected 6 tragic and 10 heroic points. Difference between those two values is equal to 4 and that’s how many fame dice she managed to collect.
After determining the amount of fame dice, the players roll as much six-sided dice as the amount of fame dice they collected and then sum up the rolls’ outcomes into a fame score. Whoever has the highest score, wins.
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