that daniel retirement au but like also loml by taylor swift where the love of his life was f1 until it turned into the loss of his life (because max will crawl through the screen and yell at me if i made him the loss of daniel’s life… even if the lyrics “the coward claimed he was a lion/i’m combing through the braids of lies/i’ll never leave/never mind” is very maxiel coded but i’ll be quiet no one needs to know me linking the ttpd songs to maxiel) and instead we’ll just say the lyrics “it was legendary/it was momentary/it was unnecessary, should’ve let it stay buried/oh what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye” was the inspiration
Daniel finds Max sitting in the grandstand opposite the podium. He’s pretty sure there were a few straggling fans still sitting there, whether or not Max scared them away or promised them something to get the grandstand cleared out, he’s not sure.
He smiles when he notices Daniel walking through the seats, patting the one on his left and all Daniel can think is how wonderful and lovely Max has been through all this. If it was the other way around Daniel couldn’t promise he’d handle it the same.
Maybe it was a good thing it happened to him and not Max.
“Daniel? Are you okay?” Max notices, because he’s Max.
He plops down on the seat next to him and tangles their ankles together, needing something to stop him from floating high above the grandstand. “Yeah, Maxy. Just thinking. I’m okay.”
Max looks over and searches his face for any sign of lies and he must cover it well enough because he nods once, satisfied. His eyes never leave Daniel’s face, and that’s one thing that hasn’t changed over the years.
It’s always been: Walk in a room. Look for Max. Find that he’s already looking back, even if he shouldn’t be. Max has always been stupidly brave when it comes to them, so he tells himself he can be brave too when he reaches over and slides their hands together. Their fingers slot easily together, as they’ve done a million times over and he wants it for a million more.
“Daniel,” Max whispers quietly, looking down where their hands are linked together. He knows what he’s saying, what he’s asking. That once it’s out, it’s out.
Are you sure?, conveyed through the squeeze of a hand.
“I don’t care anymore,” Daniel laughs wetly, surprising himself. He hadn’t realise he was tearing up. “I’ve already given so much. I’m not going to let them take this away too.”
Max reaches over to brush the tears off his face, running his fingers lightly over cheekbones, trailing down to his jaw. It’s intimate, romantic, deliberate—there’s no denying the existence of a relationship when the photos come out. He hasn’t looked at the pitlane, but he knows that the photographers are there.
The photos are probably beautiful too.
But it’s not theirs.
He also knows there’s probably a couple of people from their comms team who are staring them down, but he finds that he doesn’t give a fuck anymore. He’s played his role, he’s done his part, he stopped being a F1 driver the second he got out of the car. He should be allowed to have this—they both should be allowed to have this.
Max runs his thumb over Daniel’s jaw for a couple seconds more before leaning down and kissing his forehead. He smiles, small and soft before Daniel shuffles down on the seat, leaning his head in the crook between Max’s neck and shoulder. They sit like that for a couple minutes, watching the pitlane get quieter and quieter as people start to leave.
“I love you,” he whispers, tilting his head up to meet Max’s gaze. “Thank you for doing this with me.”
Max’s gaze softens, a small smile creeping onto his lips. “Of course, Daniel.” He knocks their legs together and mumbles into his hair, “Always I said we would be together, no?”
He does know, all the way back in the beginning of the year where Daniel wanted nothing more than to melt into the sheets of the bed after another disastrous race, another race where the noise had grown louder, and Max had pulled him up and held him until he resumed some semblance of a person. How he reassured him that it was okay to let go of something he loved when it started to cause damage he wasn’t able to repair.
“I love you,” he whispers again, because he doesn’t say it enough for Max to love him the amount he does. He thinks if they chopped up every single atom in his body and rearranged it he would still end up loving Max. They’ve intertwined and weaved their way into each other's lives before they even realised what they meant to each other.
“I love you too, Daniel.” Max pulls where his hand has been on Max’s thigh and kisses the back of it, three times in quick succession before resting it back where it was. “I’m proud of you. It will be okay now.”
And when Max says it so earnestly, Daniel finds he starts to believe it too. If Max believed, Daniel would too.
They both watch as they close the shutter doors of his garage.
He hopes he’ll be able to visit one day and not be so angry about it anymore. One day where he’s not angry about his own career, not angry about the people or events that drove him down the road he thought wouldn’t appear so soon.
One day where he’s not so angry that the sport he loved so much stopped learning how to love him back.
(But that’s for the future.)
Right now he’s sitting in a grandstand with Max, who holds him with all the love in the world, like he’s the only thing that matters in the universe.
And he’ll go.
Quietly.
(bonus)
[Photo: Taken from a top down view; Max and Daniel’s ankles and feet tangled together, resting on the back of the plastic grandstand seats. His right hand is tangled in Max’s left, the ‘3’ tattoo on pinky is barely visible, their hands are resting on Max’s thigh.]
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maxverstappen1 💙
tengreenstopsigns I’M GOING TO BE SO INSUFFERABLE
8 December
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Trick or treat!
finishing up some of these while I am on my last plane of the day, mother FUCKER I am tired
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May is at the stage of jet lag where everything just hurts. The previous three stages - denial, euphoria, bargaining - have ended and she still has three hours left on her third flight.
"I miss my mom," she moans into her hands.
One seat away from her, on the aisle seat, her travel companion looks up from his book. "... Do I want to know?" Drew asks. It's not fair. His jet lag stage seems stuck at stoically inconvenienced.
"She used to brush my hair when I couldn't sleep. It just always made me feel nice and tingly."
"Eloquently put."
"Eat dirt."
Drew huffs and turns another page. May goes back to staring out the window at the endless grey clouds. Flying in an airplane sucks. It sucks!
A tap on her shoulder makes her whip around. "What's who's," she yips, too tired for coherency.
Drew pats his lap. "Here. Lay down."
May narrows her eyes. "Nine hours ago, I asked to do that and you said I'd drool and ruin your slacks."
"Nice hours ago, I felt like a person." Drew swallows and won't look her in the eyes. "Come here."
She flips up the arm rests between them, does her valiant best to fold up her thick legs and long torso into two seats and probably headbutts Drew in the stomach twice but eventually she's settled, staring up at him in the corner of one eye.
"Hi," she says.
"Hi," he replies, still not looking at her. His hand falls onto the crown of her head and his fingertips start to work gentle circles into her scalp. "This help?"
In response, she moans. Drew gently swats her on the shoulder. "Don't make a scene," he hisses.
"Okay, okay."
Despite his complaints, he resumes his gentle touch and May feels herself melting like chocolate in a child's pocket. "You're amazing," she hums.
"So are you," he replies, his tone unusually honest.
May wraps an arm around his shin and hugs him closer. "Tell me that the next time I beat your ass at a Contest."
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“I’ve been alone, for so long! Here, on that bridge... I was the only one who could do it! I was the only one! And now I have to live with that forever.”
I know it kind of sounds like two sentences/topics mashed into one (the way he flows from “I’ve been here in the Ever After for so long” straight into “What happened on the bridge scarred me”) and I’m sure it’s meant like that too
But it also sounds like Jaune is saying “I’ve been on that bridge alone, mentally, for so long. The memory has never left me, what I’ve done haunts me, and after all these years, it feels like I’m still there.”
I think it’s amazing the way this line flows, the way it is voiced like that, in such a way that it both sounds like two topics squished together AND a singular memory of an action that can’t be undone, that will stick with him forever to the point where he has never really left that memory
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