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brother-emperors · 4 months

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listen. listen, there's a kind of intimacy in having a dedicated rivalry, okay. who else is going to know you like this!!! also it's funny

Ascanio Maria Sforza: la parabola politica di un cardinale-principe del Rinascimento, Marco Pellegrini

Julius II: The Warrior Pope, Christine Shaw

and on della rovere’s soldier comment:

Popes, Cardinals and War: The Military Church in Renaissance and Early Modern Europe, D.S. Chambers

and finally! regarding the delightful Mess of political-family relationships, including the marriage comment (altho the montefeltro family that giovanni married into did have sforza family ties, since giovanna's mother was battista sforza, but this is about the more immediate alliance based relationship and della rovere's hand in the rejection of a milanese match for his brother. and. this is not even remotely a serious comic, but now I am once again thinking about insular all these families are. the fucking medicis are here too, if you go half a step to the left on della rovere's family tree)

Julius II: The Warrior Pope, Christine Shaw

Giulio II, Il papa del Rinascimento, Giulio Busi (Bianca Maria Visconti is Ascanio's mom. btw)

panel inserts of the cards they're playing with are all from the Visconti-Sforza tarot deck! (I used public domain scans/photos for the comic itself)

ko-fi!⭐ bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara.app

#weeping. ascanio's dialogue covers up della rovere's sleeve collar. i spent all that time drawing details on it and FOR WHAT #(it was fun)#there was another deleted bit where ascanio has some petty line like 'i bet arguing makes you hard' but then i realized #that's something that lucullus would probably say to crassus and also i need to set that line up for ascanio #we gotta. we gotta character build (lays down face in the ground) we have to provide the character set up for it #it's really more of a line for cesare to drop at some point over how much rodrigo and ascanio argued #shout out to the time rodrigo threatened to throw ascanio into the tiber river or that time ascanio like. decided to physically get into #a fight with juan borgia #and they were still gambling partners after that????? damn okay. sometimes the vice chancellor can be (checks note) im not finishing #that statement #komiks tag #italian renaissance tag #ascanio sforza #giuliano della rovere #i WILL get a relationship dynamic tag for them once i can figure out something punchy and fun. anyway!#ehgh. I NEED. to go to milan. and go thru the archives. let me in. LET ME INNNNNNNNN

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giuliano-fan-account · 1 year

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hxh Chapter 395: Founding: Part 1

Ohm yg od oh my god I love this chapter!!!!!!

So let’s get started

Spoilers... What else??

I’m deciding to use the viz translations since I didn’t review yesterday and they come out on sundays so yeaaa

Ok so we begin with Hinrigh who has Cracked The Code on the Heil-Ly base thing

They’re gonna go after those two guys and...... To be honest I don’t care if they end up dying!!!! Go ahead!! I forgot their names already and Togashi’s going to need to manage the like 60 new characters that he’s made this arc...

Man, I miss Kurapika and the Zodiacs and the Princes and Beyonds team... hm...

Like these characters I love and all like Lynch and Zakuro and Tserriednich’s Militia people and Hinrigh but Man where did everybody else go????

Well good news is later this chapter we at least have the troupe!!

(Togashis trying to tell us to enjoy the little detours-- to the fullest)

Volksen ever. Apparently her officially translated name is like Bork something but Volk is a lot better in My opinion and people spell Giuliano like Juliano all the time so does it Really Matter?

Volk makes me think of a Volkswagen car and Bork makes me think she has an acidic reflux I’m sorry.

Also Otocin = Otoshin (doesn’t really matter to me) and Momolly = Momori (Momori is way cooler sorry so I will also be saying Momori)

I also permanently associate Volksen with octopi now but that’s besides the point.

Anyways enough about the 6 People from last chapter let’s move on.

Fun fact I still cant remember his freaking name What Is it Somebody please say It nobody has said it in the past 5 chapters and I’m confused but anyways.

He says the Phantom troupe are checking out 3102 (next to the trap room 3101) because they think there might be a Hideout behind rooms 3101-3103 and of course they’re being insane about it, since to them it doesn’t matter if they have a plan or not.

He’s been talking a lot about people being captured..... Togashi? Is this going to be another big theme??

He needs some water or some skin moisturizer or something He can’t be living like this dude look how dry that skin is...

Anyways they're threatening this guy to get in the room as you do.

I’m going to thank Togashi forever for visuals because without them in this arc I would be entirely lost.

I really don’t have any sympathy for this guy but Imagine if three guys just came into your room and then cut a hole in your bathroom.

I’m sorry but in this panel he looks so emo it’s... It’s the hair and the... The everything looks extra emo.

I love this conversation cause it opens new parallels between the mafia and the troupe, which Phinks, Feitan, and Nobunaga are already involved with and it gives some more insight, but also What is Nobunaga holding right now.

Is that like a ball of light or something

And why is it the only one there

Anyways enough of looking at random details its its

ITS FLASHBACK TIME

When I saw this page spread I kid you not I think I went crazy for a second. It’s a callback to the flashback in chapter... 102 (the panels were redrawn!!!!!!@2442454##$#%^$#)

I was right with Chrollo being the one on the left and Franklin being the one on the right closest to the tape, but I thought Shalnark would be the one sitting in front of the elder, and Phinks was the one running at the bottom..... However..

THE ONE WITH THE CURLY WAVY HAIR IS SHALNARK.......... (broken heart crying emoji /pos)

God I love this Flashback Look at them all. Shalnark and Chrollo are my best guess at like 9 years old and Franklin is probably like uhh 16 or something.

Franklin has a Oldest-brother-that-is-cool-and-is-in-college-while-you-are-in-middle-school vibe which I’m not being super specific about you guys have to know what I’m talking about right.

Tbh this part felt a bit like I was on something but it’s ok it works out!

I love how they have Territory like its warrior cats. Like theyre those kids on the playground that would play warriors (definitely not me /s) But its taken to the actual extreme and they actually fight.

I’m guessing Uvo is also 16 but Puberty just hit him in the face with an iron bat. He’s like the Average bully archetype but also taken to the extreme because they live in a dump city.

Machi... She’s just... She’s like 5 or 6 years old oh my god she’s a literal baby actually... and she’s just handing Uvo a “Murder Weapon” they would probably call it.

Baby Syanorke being a little smartass and then Immediately getting hit in the head with a plank of wood and passing out This was like the funniest part ever

Look at him tumble

...

Wait

.....

No...

NOOO.......

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOLY CRAP

...Anyways let’s move past that...

Fist fight Immediately 1 v 1

The low quality running of the little guy I can’t believe he’s a little guy

HELP ME THIS IS TERRIFYING WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT

He is also Average bully archetype No. 2 but a different flavor for sure...... His hair looks like a walnut Phinks what are you doing....

Umm ok so Age guesstimate... the first appearance Phinks looks older and then he looks smaller in the other panel... So I’m gonna say he’s like 13 and Feitan...

...

Yea I have no Idea let’s just say 13 as well.

Get wrecked. I only noticed the arrow now so hopefully you see it too now.

The little guy the little thief

Meteor city civilization real

AGAIN WITH THE PEOPLE GETTING CAPTURED AND STUFF??

Ok so Basically

Since Meteor city residents technically don’t exist since they don’t have any form of identification, that means it was legal to kidnap them, kill them, commit crime against them etc since they technically “weren’t human”...

A while later to prevent this, Meteor city allied with the mafia to be safe, but before that there were hundreds of victims and 70% of them were under 15.

Their ties with the mafia grew stronger, and Nen abilities came about the elders, and a pledge was made (The law of retribution):

“Only life can compensate for a life.”

“We’ll accept anything you leave here, but don’t ever take anything away from us.” (a note left at the kurta massacre, if it rings a bell)

And so with all this going on the Phantom troupe formed 12234543

PAKUNODA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love her hair so much here its real

This is so adorale im cyring .........

Ddue just became a part of the council at 9 years old I guess!

Tiny Just tiny little ones

POWER CLEANERS HELP

MIGHTY SWEEPIN POWER CLEANERS

He also created dubbing wow /s

IM CYRING AGAIN ........ So Paku must be like 8 or something but they have an Older sister Younger brother dynamic lol

SHEILA?!?!?! You mean the lady in volume 0 who looks uncannily similar to Pariston Hill?

...*snif* *sniffleef* eu......e.ue ,,

Omg its Sheila and Sarasa... Sheila still has her silly rat ears...

I like Sarasa she’s a little silly and I wonder if she’ll be relevant too but as far as I know I dont remember her.

hehe im just imagining all of them just sitting down and watching a really badly dubbed but endearing episode of the power ra-cleaners.

D Hunter....

I live them that’s all I have to say

Oh god More human trafficking

Even worse child trafficking... Yea this is going to be relevant

And then It just skips back to them peacefully HELP

To be continued!!! Yea nothing bad happening here totally

I’m guessing since the Title of the chapter is Founding: Part 1 that we’re still going to be in the flashback in part 2 since there’s still stuff that needs to happen.

I mean we still have yet to see 12 year old Nobunaga and what about the whole Council thing??

Oh god wait somebody may get captured during the screening NO

And why is it called founding?? The troupe is officially founded I think when they’re like mm... I wanna say maybe 6 or 7 years older so maybe there’s a time skip idk.

Anyways keep being silly Goofer man Behave yourself.

(remember the hunter exam applicant form or wtv in the 1999 version well I wanted to draw them so here ignore the bad coloring and shading i made this at 2 am)

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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 2 months

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"I actually still have more to say lmao but don’t know If I Should " Please go off. It's so refreshing to see someone exercise a healthy dose of caution and scepticism in considering The 'evidence'. Also, wanted to say, I completely get your annoyance about every single song John or Paul has written made to somehow be about the other. I know people are just here to have fun and all but it's such a myopic way of analysing their great body of work.

Like… Here's The Thing:

If John and Paul had sex, it wouldn't be like… that hard for them to hide this fact lol. So the fact we don't have hard proof of it isn't in of itself evidence that it never happened (a thing Mark Lewisohn doesn't seem to quite understand). But finding proof for it outside of Paul himself coming forward and admitting to it (or the executor of his estate, or Sean, or some insanely petty person with an axe to grind who's been… waiting for Paul to die for decades?) is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Honestly, it kind of reads as copium to me when people who are highly invested in Being Right About McLennon cling to these unverifiable sources that vehemently insist "everyone in the industry knows!" It's as if they need to affirm to themselves that they're ~not crazy~. (for the record: I don't think believing John and Paul were in love/had sex in of itself is crazy) It's just concerning when nobody is asking themselves why these sources who have all this "industry knowledge" are apparently never sharing that knowledge with the people who are actually publishing Beatles books; not even with the authors of the super trashy books; not even as a "source who asked not to be named". No, they only appear to be talking to random frequenters of various internet forums. Like. It just makes me go HMMMMM yknow?

And the other thing is like………… Are we forgetting why we here on tumblr generally agree that John was bi?

The idea that everyone knew about John and Paul being a couple, but they didn't tattle about this to the press because That Would Be Rude! ––– but also they felt going off about John's sexuality in general was actually totally fair game???? How does that make any sense?? It's also like, even if a lot of people still look the other way with regard to John's sexuality (though, less and less, in my observation), that doesn't mean the information hasn't been freely accessible for decades. It begs the question why this isn't a thing for all the McLennon Proof That Totally Exists This One Guy Told Me!!! And authors like Albert Goldman prove that disrupting the Lennon Estate's narrative, the macho image of John, is a lucrative business, specifically talking about his sexuality sells. (sort of off-topic: NGL, I'm always a bit mystified when people on this site seem to… Forget that John/Brian is a MUCH more substantiated theory than John/Paul.)

And this can't possibly all be down to John being dead while Paul is alive. As I said: it's also not like Paul hasn't caught an insane amount of shit over the decades. Guys like Giuliano wrote about him as well.

It's almost like, if Paul is bi, probably very few people know this fact for certain! Wow!

Also re: the song thing. It's just that……… I really like music? For it's own sake y'know. I get sad when 90% of the posts I see about the songs are trying to prove a theory that's much better substantiated by like… quotes than (for the most part, pretty vague) lyrics anyways. And I wouldn't mind all the fun tinhatting (some of which I engage in too!) if there was just more unabashed song loving.

#ask #anon #jp speculation #discourse #fiona.docx

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yifeiyay · 1 year

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basic post for if you want to get into superformula

superformula is the top flight of motorsport in japan, home to the fastest single seaters after f1. it's been around since 1973, which is quite a while!

4 races of the season may have passed but it is not too late and since there is increased interest this year i thought people might want to know, so...

the format

there are 22 cars and 2 groups of qualifying, Q1A and Q1B. the top 6 of each group then go on to fight for pole in Q2. each session is 7 min long.

the polesitter gets 3 points, starting p2 gets you 2 points, starting p3 gets you 1 point. this makes qualifying more important than other series imo

the races are typically 40ish laps; over 250km. you are given 2 sets of tyre compounds and you need to use both during the race, which means everyone must pit at some point. expect strategies like an f2 feature race.

the race winner gets 20 points. p2 gets 15, p3 gets 11, p4 gets 8, p5 gets 6. p6 down to p10 gets 5 to 1 point.

the drivers

they are mostly japanese, clearly. the radio and bulk of the onsite interviews are in japanese, but english comms will translate so i think it's not a problem. also the interviewer switches languages at the drop of a hat she's insane (in a good way).

i'm going to introduce the names you might have heard of in other series. but shoutout to tomoki nojiri, the current reigning champion.

ok. if you're reading this chances are you've heard of liam lawson (#15) and his exploits in this series thus far. one of marko's twinks-in-waiting and arguably the most promising one rn. has had a decent amount of lore in his career for his age thanks to dtm. and twitch 💀 bffs with yuki tsunoda and appeared on dts bc of it

ryo hirakawa (#20), the beloved little brother in the toyota gazoo racing #8, won le mans and the wec wdc as a rookie. youngest ever super formula driver. has come close, but has never won the championship. which he should bc he's won super gt and japan f3 already and if he wins this it's the japanese triple crown. bffs with nick cassidy of fe championship leader fame (sorry i had to mention it somehow)

kamui kobayashi (#7), who is somehow driving and being his own team principal in wec (where he coincidentally also drives a toyota #7). was in f1, has multiple wec titles to his name. but no super formula title either. in fairness i doubt it was ever his main focus. still fun to have him around.

if you've followed f2 since like 2018? you'll recognise some names such as nirei fukuzumi #12 (cousin nirei if you follow albon_pets, also has been sf vice-champion), nobuharu matsushita #50 (the embodiment of that tomato girl aesthetic on tiktok), giuliano alesi #36 (son of the jean alesi), and cem bolukbasi #55 (most recent f2 to sf grad alongside liam)

the calendar

ok there are only 5 races left.

sugo, 16-18 june

fuji, 14-16 july

motegi, 18-20 august

suzuka double header, 27-29 october

that's it! i'm new to this too tbh and i understand the timezones are pretty ass for people that aren't in the asia pacific region but i hope this helps you out regardless!

#super formula #.info #m

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workingforitallthetime · 7 months

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Lol the fantilli parents are at the columbus game rn and since Adam just scored the cameras panned to the parents. Both of them were on their phone, no doubt texting Luca or other family members.

But Bally just talked about the Giuliano Fantilli stick extensions and had a pictures of Adam's custom sticks. It looks like he dropped off some new ones for Adam this visit too!

oh what fun content, i hope the clip makes it online! mom fantilli was at yost on saturday so i’m glad she got to be there for tonight’s goal since she missed the first one. love that they were calling luca (?) first thing, since we know he was awake watching:

#luca with a little sass!#anonymarshmallow

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minetteskvareninova · 9 days

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Minette watches Medici, part 20 (Innocents)

-Hey, look! Another (mostly) good episode! The Medici truly are at their best when they are more morally ambiguous. I did have some problems with this episode, once again because of Lorenzo, whose corruption arch wasn't very well handled, but much like Alicent in Hot D, many moments of that arch are good, even if the arch itself doesn't come together in a coherent manner, like at all.

-RIP LUCREZIA T, YOU WERE THE BEST FEMALE CHARACTER IN THIS FRANCHISE AND PROBABLY THE BEST CHARACTER PERIOD, YES EVEN BETTER THAN MY KING FERRANTE, FUCK YOU, FIGHT ME.

-Beyond my endless love for Lucrezia T, her final episode too was nothing to scoff at, like some moments were cliche (especially the Incurable Cough Of Death), but overall she got a great sendoff that cemented her as my absolute favourite. Her engaging in some light embezzlement because Lorenzo is just that bad with money? Fun, interesting character beat. Mentoring Clarice into becoming her successor? It's a bit surprising she didn't even try sooner, but still, pretty cool! Her being reminded of Giuliano when Giulio gets into fights? Amazing, no notes. Like that minisubplot was indeed very cheesy, but surprisingly emotionally effective. Hell, they did the "dying person deliriously running after someone and collapsing" AND "dying person sees a tragically fallen loved one as a some sort of psychopomp" - and I didn't roll my eyes once!

-Speaking of: I wish Giulio was just plain better developed, because there are interesting kernels of characterization here that I'd adore to see explored. Like for a show that loves to just plain spell shit out, Giulio's sword was such a great storytelling device - I mean, teenage Giulio gets so little screen time, but when he decides he maybe wants to become a priest? You absolutely get it. There are also some hints of him growing closer over the years to Giovanni at least, if not Piero, but again, not enough to really see it clearly.

-Lol, I recognized another child actor in this! First Adam from Good Omens as baby Lorenzo, now Tewkesbury from Enola Holmes as teenage Piero... I have no point to make here, I just think it's funny.

-Riario continues his uninterrupted streak of being a pathetic little thug that is only ever a threat because his uncle is the pope and he's... Let's be real here, only about as brutal as any IRL condotierro, but that's just enough capacity of violence to be a genuine menace. I also love his relationship with Caterina, like he knows what he has in her and clearly wants to be a wife guy so badly, but he's too much of thuggish manbaby to ever show affection towards anyone, even her. Like the same way Rüstem can never not be creepy, even when he means well, Riario can never not be an absolute douche.

-Speaking of pathetic little bitches - Lorenzo and pope competed for the title of Italy's Biggest Primadonna, and Lorenzo scored an unquestioned victory with his "I'd rather have innocent people slaughtered than apologize to you". Like, fuck dude, I know you technically didn't do anything wrong, but there are lives at stake! Swallow your pride, goddamnit! The worst part is, he then apologizes anyway - so that the head honchos at the conference pay attention to him, because he's afraid the pope might be getting a win with the whole conference taking place outside of Florence thing! BTW I am still not sure how Lorenzo being a center of attention for a hot minute erases pope's contributions to the conference, or really what those contributions are considering it doesn't even take place on his territory... Is he some kind of chairman here? I am so confused. The whole conference doesn't make any sense anyway, like is it supposed to have ended some particular war or whatever? Would it be that hard to throw in a few words about how, say, France and Venice were at war and now they and their allies are negotiating the peace terms?!

-Oh, I see Lorenzo didn't restore signoria after the peace as he promised! VERY interesting. Or it would be if I had any idea why the fuck is he doing something so blatantly terrible and against everything he professed to stand for even a couple of episodes ago. Is he afraid of what might happen to him and his family if he loses absolute power for even a second? Well, that would be interesting, if the show so much as hinted at it, but it doesn't, rendering the whole corruption arch a fucking joke.

-I do think that in a vacuum, Lorenzo letting all those people be massacred by Riario was pretty interesting both as a political move and a character beat. Like, even the characters were like "damn dude that's COLD". I don't love Bernardi once again being Lorenzo's shoulder devil, but at least the dude's characterization is consistent... And now the showrunners are teasing us with his backstory. Well, ladies and gentlemen, consider that bait swallowed! I truly can't wait for what they are going to do with it.

-Oh, look, a decent Lorenzo x Clarice scene! You know, once in a while these two remind me that they can be a good couple, and then go back to their old ways of being boring and devoid of chemistry. Honestly, making them join a polycule with Lucrezia D can only improve things.

-Oh, hey, Caterina is doing some cool shit this episode! Nice.

-...okay, I'll admit, that was one hell of a cliffhanger right at the end.

#medici #minette watches medici #medici the magnificent

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piscespixiewastaken · 2 years

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Despair and Desperation

Masterlist, Previous > Next

STORY BELOW CUT

content warnings: eye trauma, nightmares, implied child abuse, sexual innuendos, violence, mentions of blood, panic attacks, kidnapping

Artemis’s cry cut through Foaly’s consciousness. The tremor in the Mud Boy’s voice only accentuated by the mic on his throat. Spiro’s leering face could be seen through the iris cam as he grabbed a sharp implement from a nearby table and rushed at the boy. There was a scream for help before Spiro raised the blade above Artemis’s head. Foaly could do nothing but watch in horror as the blade struck and the scream for help became a scream of pain.

Foaly jumped awake, chest heaving as his mind processed where he was. A dream, he realized. It was only a dream. But no matter how much he assured himself, it didn’t make the dream less terrifying.

His wife, Caballine stirred next to him.

“Foaly, what’s wrong?”

He couldn’t answer, just trying to get his breathing back under control, to clear his head from the horrid scream. Because no matter how much he assured himself, that scream had been real. He had seen Spiro stab Artemis in a fit of rage. The screams and the way all feed, visual and auditory, suddenly cut off had been haunting Foaly’s nightmares ever since.

Caballine sat up and rubbed her husband’s shoulders. “You did everything you could, dear. It’s not your fault.”

Foaly took a shuddering breath. “I could have. I could have snuck him help. Something. He’s dead because we couldn’t help him.” Even if the Mud Boy had been annoying and arrogant and a general pain in the ass, he’d been improving. He didn’t deserve to be abandoned. He didn’t deserve to die.

Caballine said nothing as she hugged Foaly close. It was a long time before either of them got back to sleep.

Spiro stared out at the skyline of Chicago. He had needed this. A break from the office, from the workplace drama that was inevitable in such a large corporation. So instead of spending his weekend in the penthouse, he’d taken the day with Blunt and gone out on Lake Michigan in a yacht. Well, not just with Blunt. A few local mafia members, including one Carla Frazzetti and her boss, also sat on the boat, enjoying the first sunny days of summer on the deck.

He raised a glass of water in greeting as one of the mafia bosses approached his chair. The rotund man laughed as he plopped a deck chair beside Spiro.

“This is the life, ain’t it?” the man stated. Marco Giuliano was not a man to hold back from life’s pleasures, immoral or otherwise. Something Spiro could respect despite his inability to partake in the more drink-oriented ones. Hence his glass of water instead of the martini that Marco held in his beefy hands.

“It is indeed. Now if only we could get away to Cuba or a proper coastline,” Spiro commented, smiling.

Marco laughed again. “If only, if only. Say, where is that little brat I keep hearing you have tucked away in your penthouse. I thought you might have brought him out. I could use some fun.”

Spiro tried not to let a sour look cross his face. He would need to keep a tighter check on the lips of his security and tech staff.

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to there. We did have a new technician start up last month, young, fresh out of school. Maybe he’s the one you’re thinking of?”

Marco looked puzzled. “Could have sworn I heard different. But eh, work gossip is still gossip. This mean things are going well for you?”

Spiro’s smile returned with ease. “Absolutely. I can’t wait to stick it to Phonetix once they see what we release next.”

Marco grinned. “Well, just don’t be causing too much trouble. My buddy’s got connections there.”

Spiro took the hint. “Nothing that’ll put them under. Just something to show they have some upgrading to do if they want to stay in business.”

Marco nodded. “Excellent. Keep up the work for us, Jonny boy.”

He strolled away, glass still in hand as he grabbed the waist of an escort standing by the deck railing. At least Spiro thought it was her waist. He didn’t dwell on the thought. Carla however had some very choice words to say as she walked up beside him.

“Pig,” she muttered. Spiro raised an eyebrow in her direction.

“Didn’t think you were the judgmental type.”

She shrugged. “I had been looking at that one.”

Spiro glanced back at Marco and the young woman on his arm. “Ah, well, there’s plenty that’s been paid for.”

“And he’ll take them all at once if he could. Hence, he’s a pig.”

Spiro shrugged this time. “Fair enough. Need something?”

Carla did not sit down next to him. “I heard what you told Marco.” Her voice lowered so that only Spiro could hear her. “You kept him alive?”

Spiro nearly scoffed. “You expect me to kill a child in cold blood? When he’s much more profitable to me alive?”

“Profitable?” Carla’s voice betrayed a morbid curiosity.

“Of course! With a brain like his, I’ll be making bank on every patent possible. And if he ends up running out of use, his family has plenty of enemies who’d love a swing at him. Sell him off, profit regardless. I’ve already set up a way to destroy any evidence of his kidnapping as well. Nothing could point to him being under my possession.”

“He seemed rather stubborn and strong-willed by your description. It sounds like that’s changed,” Carla noted, her curiosity still piqued.

Spiro’s smile turned nasty, and for a brief moment, Carla felt a sense of pity for the Fowl boy. “Oh, it’s changed all right. He’s become an obedient little bitch, if you catch my meaning.”

Carla did catch his meaning. And her brief moment of pity for the young teen solidified. “I see,” she replied quietly.

Across the harbor in the tall, gleaming tower Spiro owned, a 14-year-old boy sat in the medical suite with the nurse. Two hulking guards stood outside, one of them with gritted teeth and clenched fists.

Chips watched as Pex’s knuckles turned white and thin bits of blood slowly dripped to the floor from his fists. He was angry. No, beyond angry, though Chips didn’t think he knew the right word for it. Whatever it was, it was bad and it was big. He heard the kid whimper from behind the door and then suddenly cry out. Pex immediately rushed to open the door. Chips peeked inside.

Artemis was shaking on the bed, clutching his head where his empty eye socket sat. Bloodstained wrappings lay around him from when the nurse changed the bandages on his eye and throat. Miss Scorzi made shushing noises to soothe the boy as he hunched forward. Chips heard a growl beside him as Pex stepped forward.

“What’d you do to him?” he demanded. Artemis flinched, looking up at the two men.

Miss Scorzi frowned at the significantly larger man now standing in her doorway. “Do not disturb my patient, Pex. He’s under enough stress already, and more sudden noises will only make this harder for both of us.

Pex wasn’t dissuaded. “Why’d he make that noise?”

Miss Scorzi stared the man down before sighing. “The bandage stuck to the wound a bit more than I expected, and it pulled at the skin. He’s fine, for now.”

Chips watched Pex look at Artemis and then back at the nurse. He growled again, this time in a different tone.

“I just… It was… It’s the same noise he made after Boss…” Pex stuttered. Chips felt like his body wanted to move down and inside of himself. It took him several minutes to realize that this feeling was sadness.

Miss Scorzi had a look on her face that seemed to match what Chips was feeling. She also looked back at the teenager on her medical bed. “I know. I wish the boss would do things differently. If Doctor Julio hadn’t been visiting that day….”

Artemis tensed, his breathing speeding up as his face went pale. Well, more pale than it was. Miss Scorzi rushed over to him, placing her hands on his shoulders.

“Hey, hey. Look at me,” she said, gentle and firm. Chips also moved forward and placed a hand on the boy’s head.

Artemis slowly began to breathe more normally again. Chips was relieved. He didn’t know how to handle panic, especially with Pex here. He knew Pex would panic first anyways.

“You’re safe right now, kid.” Chips found his voice was so quiet, he almost couldn’t hear it. He realized he was angry too. “He can’t get you here.”

Artemis nodded. Miss Scorzi gave Chips a grateful look before gently rubbing the boy’s arm. “Let’s finish getting you patched up, okay? Then these two will take you back to your room. Spiro will be out for most of the day, and I’ll see if one of the other staff members can stall him before he comes to see you. Okay?”

It wouldn’t be much. Chips really hoped Boss came back in a good mood. He thought back to what Pex had mentioned a few months before. And he realized something. Chips realized he didn’t like Boss holding the kid here either. He had thought after a year, things would calm down. But they hadn’t. They’d gotten bad, real bad. Maybe someone needed to do something about that. He just didn’t know who.

Taglist: @artemis-fowl-angst

#artemis fowl #tw: child abuse #tw: blood #tw: eye injury #tw: kidnapping #whump #jon spiro #i’ve never written something like this before and oof #is this my thing now?#do I write whump now??#jon says no fairies au

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fashionwonderer · 1 year

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Okay I promise, this will be the last time I’m sharing this amazing @gcdswear outfit of @dualipa but y’all probably already know how obsessed I am with Dua, Giuliano and #GCDS so… please bare with me, will ya? 🥹🖤 This look of Dua is flawless from head to toe if you’ll ask me, she is stunning as always but this fit really has earned its own place in my all time fav looks, I kid you not, wow! 😭🫶🏻 The dress really amazes me with its spectacular lace, like the hidden GCDS text deets within the flowery parts, are you kidding me?! 😮‍💨💐🤤🙌🏻 @giulianocalza is truly a genius and he is truly the sweetest! 🧿💖⭐️ The whole fw’23/24 collection which was inspired by Giuliano’s cutest cat Kittho was a brilliant blend of fun and elegance, you can see clearly how his vision matured beautifully yet it still has the playful and one of a kind DNA of GCDS 🙌🏻❤️‍🔥 And yes, I’m gonna say it one more time: GCDS never disappoints! ✨ I’m always excited to see what Giuliano and his team gonna create and bring to the future fashion weeks. BTW, you can find more runway looks and detailed BTS pictures of the fw’23/24 collection on my account. Anyways, I talked too much, I know, but I really adore him and his lovely team, so glad that our ways have crossed and I am really hoping to make it to Milan for the future shows 🤞🏻💘 credits I know: styling by @lorenzoposocco pictures by @germanlarkin @franvphillips hair by @rio_hair makeup by @samanthalmua nails by @nailsbymh 🙏🏻⚡️💫 my personal style account is @edaonay #fashionwonderer https://www.instagram.com/p/CpGl9gvtsqe/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#gcds #fashionwonderer

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hinaypod · 2 years

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The Hi Nay Character Playlist

As requested from our Hi Nay discord server, I’ve compiled some of the songs I was listening that served as inspiration for characters, events and arcs in Hi Nay, in no particular order.

.You can listen to the playlist here.

More details below:

Bottom of the River by Delta Rae ~ “theme song” for Episode 20 - Siga, aka the Campfire Episode. This gave me a camping vibe with the added bonus of feeling like I wanted to add a scene where they sang around a campfire. Never ended up putting that into the episode, but the vibes for this are immaculate.

Rule #21 - Momento Mori by Fish In A Birdcage ~ I recently got fully obsessed with some of the songs by Fish In A Birdcage, a fantastic alternative indie band, many of whose songs you will find on this playlist. Momento Mori in particular was inspired by the Elders, specifically Giuliano Bartalotti, The Benefactor, and George Langford, all because of their proximity to death.

Esmeralda by Adriel Genet ~ Basically the theme song of the entire puppetmaster arc, specifically The Puppetmaster / The Doctor / Drosselmeyer. I was suprised that this was a lesser known song, it sounds like something that would have really blown up. Glad to hype it up here, it has the PERFECT vibe for this specific part of the story, especially in that it makes me imagine the ballet-loving Drosselmeyer dancing gracefully to the musical interlude.

Rule #4 - Fish in a Birdcage by Fish In A Birdcage ~ The song the band apparently named itself after (or vice versa), Fish In A Birdcage is my favourite song as of 2022, and tops my On Repeat playlist. The song is truly perfect. The lyrics of the song specifically focus on the story of Mary-Anne Weekes, whose full story has yet to be told. In the story, so far, she is known as the “Good Elder” who created Good Foci, and was CJ’s lover. She was also the only member of the Ordo who was non-white (or non-white passing). Her locket protects Laura in Episode 3.

We Forgot We Were Human by Dirt Poor Robbins ~ An incredibly catchy song that I just enjoyed listening to during recent arcs, this particular song seems to illustrate the Elders quite nicely. No specific arc - this is just the Elders and their motivations, at least as we know them currently.

The Haunted Phonograph by Thoushaltnot, Seeming ~ No character in particular. I just thought this song was a fun one that matched the general vibe of Hi Nay, and the Foci being cursed objects. Somewhat connected to Mary-Anne for reasons that will later be revealed. May include a cursed phonograph in a future episode. Who knows?

The Dismemberment Song by Blue Kid ~ The primary inspiration for the Cannibal pair of episodes - Episode 18 - Katay, and Episode 19 - Lamon. Her name, by the way, is Minerva The Cannibal.

Sun Goes Down by David Jordan ~ Just how I imagine the theme song for a Hi Nay TV show would be. It’s poppy, but it also has the beat that reminds me of traditional dances in the Philippines. Also the lyrics feel like they would fit for a TV series about creepy things happening in a city.

Rule #7 - Angel Tango by Fish In A Birdcage ~ The lesson here is to listen to Fish In A Birdcage. Anyway, this song was inspired by the sort of thematic dance between The Puppetmaster and The Benefactor. It’s a little bit of both of their characters, in some ways.

Rule #9 - Child Of The Stars by Fish In A Birdcage ~ A song about Ashvin, the fake Guru Mahadev. He has a compelling history and I want to write more about him, though it doesn’t fit in the current plot. He’s been one of my favourite characters concept-wise, and I want to dedicate more to him as a character.

I’ll be adding more songs to this playlist, maybe moving songs around. Hope you all enjoy!

#playlist #Hi Nay Playlist #music #Hi Nay Podcast #HiNayPod #horror podcast #queer podcast #fiction podcast #filipino podcast #spotify

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pleasantlyinsincere · 3 months

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Do you know what John's hang ups about not being good about playing with kids was about? Like the Kyoko tape sounds adorable, and so do the the audios with Sean that are around, and even that moment in GB where he's joking with Heather about eating kittens. I don't at all get the sense of a man bad at hanging around with and entertaining children in the slightest.

I can't help but wonder if it was because he had some idea of how a dad "should" be that he felt he couldn't live up to because he didn't have one around. But then Paul also mentions in MYFN iirc that John couldn't play with kids, so I guess it wasn't just in his head, but I don't get it.

(Hi. Sorry, I had family over for a few days, so I am a bit late with replying.)

I actually don’t know. I think it might have just been one of the stories you start telling yourself and that sticks, or like you said he thought he should be able to do a certain kind of play that he found difficult to do. I do think he we can see that he was able to be fun with kids and doing a lot of goods things like we see with the tapes, playing guitar with them, teaching them swimming, riding bikes, flying paper planes, making drawings, taking Julian picking flowers in the garden for Cyn, or just being in idiot with kids like Julian said. So, maybe he thought that his way of hanging wasn’t really considered play? "I'm not a daddy with a set of bricks to play with. When I'm with the kids, they just come along with me and be with me, whatever I'm doing."And then I guess he knew that he didn’t have the patience, the endurance for constant repetition, or the will to put a child's needs first all the time, but those probably more blended into his uncertainty of fatherhood than a question of being entertaining with kids. I think it's in Giuliano, but definitely someone talking about the diaries, where there's a lot on John reading parental guides and trying different techniques and feeling frustrated, when he doesn't feel like they are working. In that context it definitely sounds like John thought there was a manual and a correct way to be a father and that he instinctively was doing it wrong.

#i feel like i am kinda missing the point but i can't seem to be able to formulate it the right way #my guess is that a lot of the self-doubts come from missing the opportunity to bond with julian early on #i also think that his interest in forming apple school to provide a better way for educations shows his interest in those topics #long before sean. so that's not play related but shows that he is maybe already thinking there is a way it #'should' be like anon asked though play/education and kids in general/fatherhood is difficult for me to differentiate right now.#was paul saying john said he couldn't do a certain kind of play or that he observed that he couldn't play with kids altogether?#people would have to ask him what he saw that made him think that.

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brother-emperors · 11 months

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"when you marry off a son to the church, they're married to god's vicar on earth" lives rent free in my mind now, thank you very much! also, can't stop thinking of rodrigo borgia and giuliano della rovere as a bickering divorced couple, and it's too kinda your fault -_-

absolutely CACKLING at the idea of rodrigo and giuliano as a divorced couple because I've always envisioned them as two different types of monsters that despised each other and were intent on eating the other along with anyone else that got in their way, with giuliano coming out of that war winning. and it wasn't enough to get the throne (the papacy), he also kicked cesare to the curb after luring him back in. we love to see it! you can't buy that kind of hate off the shelves, you have to curate it and let it fester like an open wound! an absolute masterclass in driving in one final nail into the coffin of a family you despise. (there's a kind of dynastic rivalry subtext in regards to inheritance etc, between these two that makes them incompatible with the divorced framework to me. it's more of a eat or be eaten, destroy the pretender to the throne, etc etc in my mind)

ascanio sforza and giuliano della rovere on the other hand. they have an adjacent kind of divorced energy, to me. those two were rivals for so long (ascanio kneecapping della rovere by backing rodrigo in the papal elections, and it escalating from there), and only came together in the end (della rovere visiting ascanio every day on summer for conversation, hello??), and even then: that came with a hefty side of deeply unbalanced power dynamics of the julius caesar-clemency variety (fun fact! when giuliano della rovere became pope, he took on the name julius II in reference to julius caesar!)

wait--- you want to know who's literally divorced, though? ascanio and rodrigo. ascanio was one of the major players in setting up the lucrezia borgia-giovanni sforza marriage, and that annulment had implications, especially with how rodrigo kept trying to shut ascanio out of vatican politics. that didn't stop them from sharing the pastime of gambling together, though.

#actually i think i called della rovere ascanio's sugar daddy at one point. heugh. don't ever let me speak (continues to speak)#the funerary statue that giuliano had commissioned for ascanio lives in my head rent free tho. the eyelashes. wtf.#OBSESSED with how he's posed not in death but asleep instead. what's the point of being a pope if you can't commission #an artist to do a little life-death dialogue that challenges god. huh. after all you speak for god.#anyway i hate della rovere. also rodrigo. but that's to be expected.#ask tag #also re the borgia-della rovere monster conversation: what's most dangerous to a man who would be king? a conspirator #and to quote ilardi: ascanio did inherit his visconti ancestor's tendency to conspiracy #della rovere had a better handle on maneuvering that once he put on the papal hat tho #i guess the final FINAL nail in the coffin to the borgia memory might be della rovere winning over ascanio in the end #like. congrats on getting your rival-enemy's ex wife.#every day i look at myself in the mirror and go 'hey. say normal things' and then i describe catholic politics like this

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giuliano-fan-account · 1 year

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happy pride mont

Well I guess I could share some drawings since usually I just dogpile everything I want to say into 1 post and don’t necessarily have room for the art which is sad.

So I decided for pride month I’ll just dogpile some of my art that I haven’t shown here relating to my favorites from hxh kind of being like those 60 color packs of crayons.

I draw kind of like a crazy guy and I have a fair bit of art so I’ll make a cut off line to not clog...

Btw so I dont jumpscare you the art is of Izunavi and Giuliano, Shalnark and Chrollo, & Muherr and hehe a not canon character (In that order)

Hehe i just have some portraits of Izu for fun here not necessarily ship or anything related but I just wanted to share them Since I made them a while ago and he looks very nice:

Ok but it gets a little gay here so urm: Happy pride moth:

I made this one because I wanted them to have a happy life that I knew they could never have!!!!!!

I made this one because THEY BOTH LOOKED SO GOOFY IN THAT ONE PANEL THAT I HAD TO REMAKE IT I COULDNT DO IT

just a funny little drawing for fun that I stayed up a little too late making 1 time because these guys just kind of carry me away..

On valentines day I was having a rlly bad time a really bad day and everything and then I made these guys and everything was better

MS PAINT BRO

I made this one in ms paint and it makes me so happy man... I have it as my background screen on my computer rn i didn’t intend for this drawing to bang so hard but also I kind of drew it intending for it to be like the only house that’s not on fire yet because that’s a song that’s perfect for these guys hear me out

I made that one at like 2 am and yes it was to this song and to me it is objectively about these guys

I guess it could be a projection bc i just wanted to squeeze that guy bc hes just so funny and silly and I love these guys and giuliano is just like me for real so it’s fine

I care about them a lot man I even made an article on the shipping wiki for them because I uhhh I uh help I urm

I have... another one that I ALSO made an article for... and it brings me extreme distress as well as extreme joy

we have our 2nd place to Shalkuro :100:

I have a lot of art for it I’ll make a post for it one day I swear and it will be insane in length because I really need help man ... If izugiuli is my comfort ship this is the REASON why I need comfort

proceeds to show harmless nice little drawings:

I saw that trend everywhere so this is a rlly recent drawing but I made them with the barbie and ken because I... well come on... its literally perfect okay

gooberish little drawing because i was bored

THIS WAS A REDRAW OF A GOOFY GARTIC PHONE DRAWING MY FRIEND MADE SO THATS WHY IT LOOKS KIND OF STRANGE I tried my best to replicate the essence

shalkuro as teens ig comfort (I relentlessly got called gay for this one Stop jules bullying 2023)

Im a little crazy so maybe I did make another omori hxh au and a lot of it is Shalnark in the au or Shalnark and Chrollo

Redraw of the sticker because hehe

THIS IS BASED OFF OF AN UNFINISHED FIC I HAVE thats not necessarily ship related but also is but also you can interpret it any way you want and imo it’s so cute

I’ll finish it one day.

Another ms paint art but it’s inspired off of bad apple for actually no reason other than that I think it would look cool and I went through 5 stages of hell trying to draw this but I made it out fine

God I want to talk so much about Shalkuro since Shalnark is ALSO just like me for real and I actually haven’t before on this account and it’s kind of my soundboard for talking abt whatever relating to hxh but I really think I should save it for a post of it’s own..

Anyways onto the next one its a little funny thing

I shipped my self insert with Muherr as a joke ok but now its kinda funny and I like it and I actually rlly like these drawings i made for it

dont ask why he looks drunk its a long story

I had to make this it was honestly too funny for me not too and I love it so much EXCEPT for the fact that I realized that my self insert looks so much like pariston in here

Im supposed to have dark hair but I just didnt feel like coloring it in there bc the lineart looked good enough to me

but yeah muherr x jules otp forever /j

hapy pride month whoever or whatever you are whether your gay or not!!!!

dont forget to have fun and be a kind neighborly person like me

#izugiuli #izunavi x giuliano #izunavi #hxh #hunter x hunter #fanart #pride month #giuliano hxh #juliano hxh #shalnark #chrollo #shalnark x chrollo #shalkuro #kuroshal #muherr hxh #canon x self insert #lol

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sweet-vanilla-sims · 2 months

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Year 1666

In the early days of January, Landon's noble bride arrived in Tartosa with her son from her first marriage. Both of the betrothed were excited to meet one another and quickly arranged for their wedding to go ahead with minimal fanfare especially in the wake of the disaster the plague had brought with it.

At the Ludovici household, Benetta grew into a darling baby who was thankfully a calm child which helped the household adjust to the changes the previous year had caused better.

Leonardo grew into a fun-loving young man with a penchant for parties. While his grandmother would have refused to have him as the heir to the family due to his Laurent mother her passing made it easy for his father to ignore that but his personality was rather irresponsible so the Ludovici head decided that his new daughter was more likely to inherit which honestly relieved Leonardo.

February brought with it Giulia's twin daughter's birthday as they turned eighteen.

In a lot of ways the older girls' birthday was rather bittersweet as it was wonderful that they had reached a new milestone but it was also proof that Giulia's children were growing up very fast. Giulia was ever more aware that little Olimpia would soon not be so little anymore.

In early March, Tala approached Giulia with a proposal. Tala was getting on in years and needed more consistent help with the Carlisle home and now that Felicita was gone and Vincente was gone long enough to have no more say in the land, Tala wanted to leave the land to the grandchild that would truly appreciate it, Orsa. Of course, Giuliano would appreciate the land too but he was to inherit the Morosini home and both him and Orsa loved the farming life deeply and the Carlisle home was a bit easier to maintain to be honest. Giulia was floored at the idea of course she had wondered what Tala was planning with her childhood home but to give it to her daughter was touching. Giulia was saddened at the thought of another one of her daughters leaving home but she also knew that her daughter would be happy with that.

As expected, when Tala brought up the idea to Orsa after getting Giulia's approval, Orsa was thrilled after she got over the initial disbelief. Orsa asked why Orelia wasn't chosen since she had started helping first but Tala reminded her that Orelia wasn't the type to want to be a farmer she just wanted to help, Orsa actually wanted it. There was little fault that Orsa could find in that.

Over the next few days, the Morosini family helped move Orsa's belongings to the Carlisle home and Orsa couldn't help but feel like this is where she belonged.

Olimpia grew into a little girl to the delight of her family.

Giulia might have missed how little her children used to be but with them getting older the little ones weren't any less affectionate, in fact, they seemed to be more insistent on getting her attention.

With Orsa being more independent and her home being less chaotic, she found more time to spend with her oldest sister and nephews. It felt like it had been way too long since they had been able to spend any proper length of time together.

While Orsa was getting used to her own household with her grandmother, Giuliano and his outgoing nature had led to him getting close to some girls in town specifically a pair of cousins, Ashley and Katharine. He had known Ashley for years since she grew up in Tartosa but Katharine recently moved in with her maternal aunt following the loss of her father and brother to the plague. It was sad that the reason they met was because of the circumstances but Giuliano cherished both of his relationships with the girls.

Katharine was a passionate young woman who had a tendency to get carried away and while Giulia kept an eye on the teens to make sure nothing inappropriate occurred, Giuliano wasn't interested in her in that way and Katherine was well aware that nothing would come of any attraction she had towards him.

Katherine was certain of it because Giuliano and Ashley were as close as could be without getting into improper territory. Katherine was happy for her cousin though mostly she was annoyed with chaperoning the pair since it was very easy for them to get caught up with each other leaving her to feel rather left out of their friendship.

October brought with it Jolene's son becoming a little boy which, despite Orsolina's initial reluctance to accept the stepchild of the man who broke her sister's heart, she couldn't bring herself to deny the boy or his mother for an arrangement that unbeknownst to them hurt Osana. So by the time the boy was old enough to play with the Collari boys, he was welcomed by them openly.

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worldly-diversity · 1 year

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@ardentfew ○ 𝕝𝕦𝕡𝕠 𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕖𝕕 𝕘𝕚𝕦𝕝𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕠 ○

⤷ 『 🌿 』

…

He was going to lynch whichever of his students thought it funny to hang up mistletoe everywhere when they had far more important things to do than bother with such frivolity—

Giuliano's reaction honestly wouldn't be near as annoyed were he not currently falling victim to his students' merry making… He'd indulge them their fun, they needed it every once in a while after all, which was why the sprigs were still hanging in the first place. What he hadn't counted on however, was Il Lupo coming for a visit and crossing him under one such particular decked out doorway…

Naturally, between his respect for the other man and his slight bit of lingering hero worship among others, it's a little difficult for him to decide what exactly to do in such a particular situation. If he goes for it, he's likely to get chased throughout half if not all of Roma for his disrespect and daring… Which, really, is reason enough to feed the beginning of the disappointment in his chest.

Still, he lowers his eyes and offers his usual greeting, stepping aside so Il Lupo can pass without being accosted by such a tradition. And yes he can hear his students giggling down the hall, which means they'll be the ones he rounds on for clean up in the morning. Very early in the morning.

#ardentfew #universe • assassins creed #inquiry • assassins creed #interactions • giuliano cacciaro #answered #please ask before continuing #HE CHICKENED OUT PLS I'M DYING XDDD

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adamwatchesmovies · 2 years

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Exterminators of the Year 3000 (1983)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

There are many Mad Max ripoffs and the most ripoff-iest of them all must be Exterminators of the Year 3000. The few original ideas contained within feel like asterisks, tiny details thrown in to “prove” this cheapo action adventure isn’t simply The Road Warrior on shuffle mode.

It's the year 3000. Nuclear war has destroyed the ozone belt. It hasn’t rained for years and the remnants of humanity battle on the roads for every remaining drop of water. When lone marauder Alien (Robert Iannucci) stumbles upon young Tommy (Luca Vennantini), he agrees to bring the boy to the source of water his tribe was desperately trying to reach. But even with the demented Crazy Bull (Fernando Bilbao) and his raving gang of lunatics forcing them to work in unison, Tommy can't trust his new partner.

You’ll immediately notice the Italian cast and the dubbed dialogue; dialogue so poorly written it confirms director Giuliano Carnimeo (as Jules Harrison) only had a tenuous understanding of the English language. It’s hard to determine if the villains’ constant references to “mother-grabbers” or “lousy splots of aberration” are attempts to self-censor and make the film available to those under 18 (they failed, it’s still rated R) or some of the weakest bits of world-building you’ve ever seen. Generally, I’d call the film tedious, but the dialogue is full of gems: bits of random words strung together that’ll make you laugh out loud. “Nothing is impossible with faith and prayer; even miracles!” indeed. Characters frequently tell you how they feel instead of letting their words, inflections or actions do so. Even if they were given brilliant lines to barf out, it wouldn't have matted. The people chosen to read the script are dreadful.

Giuliano Carnimeo makes you appreciate the skill and artistry of George miller. In this picture, there’s no escalation in the action, whatsoever. The climax has a big body count, but it’s nothing compared to a big sequence about 20-minutes in - a scene shamelessly lifted from the climax of The Road Warrior. It’s a pool of quicksand you’re only barely making your way through when finally, we’re properly introduced to this film’s Max Rockatansky: Alien. While Mel Gibson's character has charm and you can sense a heart beating beneath his bitter exterior, Robert Iannucci is like an unwrapped chocolate bar that’s been sitting on the pavement on a hot summer day. Even if you wanted to dig in, he wouldn’t be worth the effort. The guy’s just a jerk with no bargaining skills, and he’s not even good at what he does! Sculpting an anti-hero is delicate work and Exterminators of the Year 3000 is not up to the task at all.

Plot points frequently come out of nowhere, characters act illogically, their dialogue feels like a crossbow bolt through the palm and their performances are worse. Don’t even get me started on the scenes that demand they shed tears. You’d think the Italian movie people could at least get the stunts right, but they can’t. The gore isn’t convincing, and neither are any of the punches or kicks thrown. It then makes the fatal mistake of showing every explosion and crash in slow-motion. Now you'll definitely spot the helmet-wearing stunt drivers who have replaced the actors and their cheap costumes.

Exterminators of the Year 3000 (a title that is neither memorable nor appropriate for this film) is amusing for a while but sitting through the entire thing is a bore. You can have fun at its expense but eventually, the overwhelming, ever-pervasive shoddiness gets to you and you simply want it to end. (On Blu-ray, June 15, 2018)

#Exterminators of the Year 3000 #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #Giuliano Carmineo #Dardano Sacchetti #Elisa Briganti #Jose Truchado Reyes #Robert Iannucci #Alicia Moro #Eduardo Fajardo #1983 movies #1983 film

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