#makes me so anxious like plz just acknowledge it so i know what to do!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sucktacular · 9 months

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spilling my thoughts out about, oh, i might not just be anxious and burnt out from school! i might be burnt out as shit from masking my whole life. :) (new revelation to me)

so i learned something really juicy about myself with my therapist that im still kinda processing and dont really know how to move forward with it at all but its a realization that may help me with my agoraphobia healing????

SO YOU KNOW HOW IVE BEEN LIKE. Im so anxious im so scared of going outside cuz what if ppl judge me or are mean to me or whatever what if i cant fit in what if i look weird what if im targeted what if what if what if

so ive been going on for the past like... since march 2020 at minimum being like "im such an anxious mess i wish i coudl get my anxiety in check" and im sure thats a lot of it but ALSO

uhm... I used the word masking (i dont use it often cuz idk if it fits me and i also acknowledge its generally language used by autistic folk but also realizing now that maybe its something most neurodivergent folk can use? - plz dont get angry at me please if i use wrong words btw i'm uneducated and still teaching myself ; - ; but also clearly this makes sense for me also - and my therapist was basically like "okay, so, before we go forward, do you think that masking has anything to do with your agoraphobia?" as a point of asking me to think it over before we keep talking about it and for me to really personally think about it and digest it and... wow?? folks i think ive been masking so hard I burnt myself out?? which doing google research briefly i realize is definitely a thing (masking burn out) and i fucking

i cant believe ive been like "im burnt out because school is hard and im anxious all the time cuz im scared of ppl and thats it" when like yes thats fair and probably doesnt help but ALSO- WOAH MAYBE IM BURNT OUT BECAUSE EVEN TO OPEN MY FRONT DOOR TO GET MAIL IM ALWAYS LIKE OGH I GOTTA LOOK OKAY I GOTTA LOOK "NORMAL" I GOTTA GET READY I GOTTA PREP I GOTTA SWITCH ON THE NORMAL ME

if someone is delivering something i have to dress and brush my hair and preen and look in the mirror and take a mmoment to set myself up let alone if i go out into public spaces.

and we were talking and they asked what masking does for and to me, like whats the good whats the bad and like ive always known i wear myself out trying to be around ppl and public but i just chocked it up to being introverted. which is still a valid thing but thats maybe not... everything....

and i thought about it for a moment quietly and started getting a little choked up and was like, well masking makes me feel safe and makes me feel in control and right and like no one will pick me out to bother me or whatever. but then i started getting teary eyed and crying cuz.

i hate it. i HATE masking i HATE having to sit myself up right and preening myself til i have a head ache and i hate sitting on buses and the entire time being a whole experience where im just "dont look out that window its too close to that person theyll think youre looking at them and dont sloutch or youll look weird and dont move too much youll look weird and dont firdget youll look suspicious and dont look around youll look suspicious and definitely dont look at anyone or smile or wave and dont do anything just look out your window or your phone. NOTHIGN ELSE" and like... hm maybe thats not normal!!!??? I come home and im so tired im so tired and my clothes hurt me and my body hurts and im tense and im so burnt out emotionally and physically i avoid hanging out with friends because i feel like i have to act a certain way anyway when they know me and we both know theres no expectation for me to mask myself?? but i dont know how to turn it off at all.

its reminds me of finally learning to be okay with my hair. with not preening the fuck out of it before i go anywhere. that my natural dried hair is okay and good even. i rmember being in elementary school and i straightened my hair everyday because i have wavy hair and would brush it a lot and didnt know how to take care of it so it'd be a puffy long mess so the only way i knew how to fix that was the straighten it- and i remember one weekday night my straightener died and i was in HYSTERICS!!! I was crying!!! and begging!!! my mom for us to go to walmart to go get a new one. I literally felt like if I had to go to school the next day without my hair done that i would DIE!!!! something HORRIBLE would happen i wouldnt be normal enough and it would be the end for me or whatever. it freaked me out so SEVERELY. and like... i just chocked that up to anxiety and bullying, which yes it absolutely was. but maybe also... masking?? doing my little preening and things to make myself look less like a "weird kid" like less of a target

and like when i was a kid i always wanted to dress emo. i wanted the finger less gloves and i wanted the shaggy dark hair and i wanted the detailed outfits and the boots and the converse and the everything but i was SO SCARED to be seen as weird or out of place or give kids one more reason to bully me. and i remember being in high school like 9th grade and wearing striped fingerless gloves to school and i was so happy about them and at my locker some kids in my grade were lurking around behind me and loudly said something making fun of my gloves but not @ me just in general but it was 100% @ me even if i wasnt looking or involved. and i took them off... and i never wore them outside again... and then i sold them and got rid of them...

but like it took me so long to get to the point of like i care so much what ppl think but i also want to be what i want to look like and getting my hair cut SHORT and THEN dying it black and feeling like myself? i was so so scared out of my mind going in the next day but.... i also loved it?

and its just so fucked because i do all this shit to pretend to be normal and fine and safe and a trusting gentle person and I am, i am, its not a lie at all, but i make so much effort to make sure its a seeable attribute that like- helllooo??? IM ALT!!! IM GAY!! IM VISIBLY QUEER AND DRESS WEIRD!!! but im scared of being seen as weird?? what the fuck bro

and i know thats also internalized mental health stuff absolutely. even just saying "normal" and "weird" is very... yucky but i dont really know how else to describe it. but i see myself saying that and doing that and know its anti-mental health and anti-neurodivergence to feed into that within myself and externally

anyway just... damn man, im burnt out from masking all the damn time all my life and im just so tired of it to the point its easier to stay inside its easier to not take public transit its easier to get groceries delivered its easier to never go for a walk on my own its easier to do x y z but im deeply deeply unhappy

i think independence is so important to me, to be able to do what i want and where i want and do it ON MY OWN!!! i HATE relying on people i hate it so much. its not even so much the ego its just the feeling like i need to repay people for their kindness and money or gifts. and unless its specifically and perfectly said to not leave any doubts in my mind- im always going to feel like i need to repay them or that im a mooch and a bad person for accepting offers when i know i cant give them back?

just... fuck me man. and like my therapist brought up the fact i live with "strangers" and questioned how that effects me and like i cant remember where the end of that question or suggestion went but its true. i live with ppl i dont know too much past being nice people that dont seem to judge me or will allow me to have space without trying to talk me up or intrude on my personal space/personal time. but like....... yeah i couldnt begin to imagine what thats also doing to me.

thankfully ive gotten a lot better about living with strangers (ive been renting rooms in houses with other random tenants for the past ... 5 or so years?- this is the first place that wasnt student housing) but like man the gymnastics ive had to do to get comfortable just leaving my room to go to the bathroom let alone all the way down to the kitchen in the PvP zone. yeesh but yeah thankfully roomies now are super cool and super chill and will talk about problems without being passive aggressive or mean or confusing about it. ; w ;

anyway im rambling as fuck but uhm... yeah im burnt the fuck out and literally so tired all the time and anxious all the time and its probably got a lot to do with me internalizing what it means to be different, what it means to be queer and neurodiverse and what it means to my body and mind to try and pretend and switch on the "im normal and im safe and im a safe person to be around and im a nice person and im not a threat and im just minding my buisness" act that ive been switching on since i was old enough to be anxious about going to the front of the store without my parents to put a coin in the candy machine and trying to not freak out about the fact i COULD "look like im shop lifting or that i dont belong " even though ive never been in trouble for that when i was a kid and i never shoplifted as a kid and i was just doing what any kid would do????

so who else drinking the fucked up juice that makes you fucked up?

#sucktacular sucks #im kinda just spilling thoughts so idk if this is super coherent to follow but yeah uhm #pbbbbbbbbt fuck my stupid baka life #wish i knew any of this before i was 28 but i GUESS better late than never -_- fuck me

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imfiguringitoutlovely · 3 years

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MY HC'S||part 1 (students)

IF YOU ARE GOING TO READ OR REQUEST MY WORKS, PLZ READ THIS. I WILL BE WRITING GOING OFF OF CANON + THESE HEAD CANNONS I HAVE FROM NOW ON FJXNSM

(and yes, i will likely be editing and adding to this all the time. these are brief, random, and... yeah Mndxjm. keep in mind that i do only write for he/him they/them (AND VARIANTS) readers, so)

he/him

daddy issues, 100000%. i know it's not really brought up in the anime, but you can kinda see it in the way he idolizes all might. he just very easily gets attached to the male mentor figures in his life and always feels the need to please them/make them think highly of him, no matter the cost.

he can be really sweet, but as of late esp he just has this heavy heavy and draining energy. he needs rest. :( he's slowly becoming more pessimistic, not in a "there's no point" way, but in a "this world is so fucking tainted" way. sometimes he questions himself and his decision to be a hero, but he quickly reminds himself of his quirk. he doesn't really have a choice in thst case.

holds everyone around him on a pedestal and often has to convince himself that he deserves any sort of recognition because he's constsnt comparing himself snd his weaknesses to the strengths of those around him. he doesn't hate himself, but he has a hard time realizing that he deserves to be taken care of and loved, too.

he's terrified of himself in all honesty. everytime he thinks he's getting a hold of his quirk, something happens that leaves him in limbo again. it's scary, but he tries to bury it and convince himself that he'll be okay as long as he continues with training.

he has a shit ton of anxiety, y'all can't tell me he won't reach a breaking point eventually, he's been through so much.

she/her

don't talk about money around her. like a joke here and there is fine, but eventually being constantly reminded of it away from home will trigger a trauma response of just starting to get into her own head. (even if you're poor, too. like my bestie and i joke abt being broke, but that's an established boundary we're good w. stay safe babes, ok? don't let ANYONE tell you how to feel about personal boundaries.)

this leads me on to this point; she will tell you if you upset her, or if she needs time away from someone. she's not going to just drop what she's feeling or thinking to please other people, even if she is selfless, because taking care of herself and prioritizing herself at times is not selfish; it's love.

in the anime, even after confessing her need to break away from deku directly, she ends up leaning on him in the later seasons. it's... agitating, so in my head she's not fucking like that JFNXJD. she's strong on her own, and very much capable, something she understands. what makes her anxious and frustrated is how some people forget that bc of her cutesy look. she's a hero, and at the end of the day, how femme or soft people think she is isn't gonna strip her of that.

he/him

he's attempted murder before, idgaf how much he tries to show he respects rules. this dude will flip so fucking fast, and as sad or bad as it sounds, a lot of time he confuses self interest with empathy or protection of others. he puts himself on the line, or at times the safety of others to "make his brother proud", but really he just sucks with rationality

this isn't to call him selfish, but his moral compass is very off. he's not villain level, he's just very lost in a gray area that he didn't really know was there until his brother got hurt. he tries to be a great hero, but he's not sure if it's for himself, his brother, or the world.

despite his wealth, he doesn't much care for overtly materialistic things. though his upbringing has greatly skewed a lot of his social standings/behaviors, money is typically not even a thought in his decisions, something he has to learn is actually a huge privilege.

also, yes, he acknowledges how "annoying" he is to others, especially to people like bakugou. he doesn't much care, though, not to be dismissive of his feelings, he'd just rather be a helicopter protector than a shitty class rep.

he/him

he takes quite a bit of time getting comfortable enough to engage in any sort of physical affection, or really affection in general, but once he's comfy, everything is his love language. he will eventually get to the point where he's uncomfortable going without expressing affection (though this of course takes a LONG time to get to).

obviously he's a lil slow socially. he will ask people to help him set up social media and will be startled seeing any sort of video edits. he's good with tech, but only professional tech. so. he also obviously doesn't get social cues very often. though at times it's all chill, him even remaining oblivious, there are times where he gets frustrated with himself for it.

he pranks his dad. idgaf what anyone says, he pranks his dad with natsuo like his like depends on it.

he's not some uwu daddy issue traumatized prince, ok? he's geuinely been through a lot and making him out to be this poor baby doesn't help. he can be really aggressive. we see him in the anime being not just blunt, but very confrontational. it might have to do with the social cue stuff, but he really did learn a lot of aggresive ideologies from his dad. don't walk on eggshells around him, but don't expect him to take any sort of shit.

he/him

the minute anyone compliments this bitch for things that have nothing to do with his quirk, it's all over. he almost immediately falls apart after minutes of pure shock. he will immediately fall in love if it's genuine, which is why he's so attached to kirishima.

deep down, as much as he loves his mom, he actually resents his mother. yes, he calls her hag, and a lot of people take that as their way of bonding (which to a large degree it is), but he longs for that connection so many kids have with their mothers. it's one of the things he'll always be jealous of deku for.

yes he smells like burnt caramel, fuck off. he's also super fucking insecure but i think we all know this. his sense of self worth is just so dependent on his quirk and superficial accomplishments that he doesn't know who he is without winning. so.

he knows this doesn't make his bullying okay, though. he's grown a lot, and in my head, he's learned to accept that he's had a hand in creating a lot of his bigger issues. he also doesn't feel as shameful of them anymore. :) still growing, and he can still be pretty toxic, but he's a lot more genuine now.

he/they

i do follow the hc of denki having ADHD. he stims w ojiro's tail. :)

they're not dumb, do you understand? :( he's not. he takes a longer time to process things, but once he does, they're usually extremely efficient in the subject. he's also in pain when he goes overboard w his quirk, it hurts to have people laugh st them but it's like he's trapped :(

HE WILL SHOCK PPL WHEN STATIC UPON KISSES OR EXCITED HUGS SH.

she/they (im working on enforcing this, i realize in my fics i use she/her bc i get anxious abt people attacking this hc but ??? its my writing so)

they have 2 moms. no, im not gonna explain further-

she's black-coded. if that upsets you, you can leave. as a poc, I don't need or want anyone who's upset about representation interacting. :)

she teaches classmates little dance routines for videos or just stress relief tbh. she finds it helps them get that energy out so she can refocus. she also eventually gets more into using her dancing in her hero training.

she will burn someone's face off if necessary. yeah, they're sweet and bubblegum, but she's fucking brave and she will stand up for what's right, even if it may seem grusome. they know what it's like to be put down and in a corner for the way she looks, things she cant control, so if she has the power in situations to protect others from that? they're taking it. because of this, in her pro-hero career, she's an icon. much like uraraka, and especially with their pronouns, they show that femininity and power can (obviously, cmon society, catch up) co-exist. period.

she likes being an active part of pranks in the dorms, too. she's great at catching things on camera.

he/him (tbh tho he seems like he wouldn't give a fuck what pronouns you use)

he lives by mental/physical health being the most important thing. of course being a hero and saving lives was a priority, but you can't do that unless you're mentally and physically sound. he constantly checks in on friends to remind them of that, especially bakugou.

he sometimes asks for help to make sure his roots get dyed. it's hard to make sure the bleach gets everything on the back sometimes, so he'll even set up a whole lil self-care night with face masks and cucumbers so he can take care of the person helping him, too.

does feel a bit left behind by the main three, mostly by bakugou. he's scared that one day bakugou will be too good. that he'll be left behind, that he won't be regarded as a real hero.

he/him (but also doesn't give a fuck)

also yes this is gonna be biased bc i love him

HE IS NOT A SMOKER, WEED IS ILLEGAL IN JAPAN YALL

he games to manage. really well, i might add. despite his skill, winning and rankings don't have much to do with it. he jokes that they do, but it's more about getting away from the real world.

he's scared of being left behind, too. not in the rankings, but just...in general. shinso and aizawa can do almost all the same things he can without the quirk. people can master the abilities without being him. and it's scary.

he's so chill. he drinks respect living things juice every chance he gets. he's so good. so utterly good that it flies past people because it's such a natural thing for him.

he's so pretty first of all.

he/him

yes, dadwaza. yes, he is taken in by hizashi and aizawa (yes, in my little world erasermic is canon and they're raising eri).

he is v insecure. obviously. in my world, he spends his free time with denki and monoma (he attracts blondes). they gas him up a lot, which makes him kinda uncomfortable sometimes because how do you respond? but otherwise, he's learned a lot socially from them.

he's very physically affectionate. he's incredibly quiet about it, but he likes when people lean on him, or when he can lean on them (of course with boundaries, has to be close w that person). it feels nice to be close to people who trust him to be good. :)

#x male reader #x gender neutral reader #x nonbinary reader #mha x reader #mha #my hero academia #bnha #read with me lovelies

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shikai-the-storyteller · 5 years

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Back from being out of town SO: Cyberverse Season 2 episode 7, 8 and 9 watch!

SO MANY EPISODES CAME OUT WHILE I WAS OUT OF TOWN, THAT WAS SO CRUEL!!!!

Cyberverse 7!

MACCADAM!!!! OMG OMG HES FINALLY BACK

OH NO ITS THE MEGAOP BREAKUP SCENE

oh nevermind, it’s just breakup scene #513214

I wonder what Megatron asked Optimus to do :O

Optimus: I just cant seem to make progress on these peace talks Maccadam: That sucks. Aren’t my drinks AWESOME? Optimus: yeah....

Aw Maccadam has such a cute smile. It’s really nice to see someone giving Optimus advice, usually he’s the designated dad of the group. Glad he has some support in this continuity!

OHOHO THEY’RE GONNA WORK TOGETHER TO BRING DOWN STARSCREAM

Man I frickin love it when Megatron and Optimus are forced to work together against a “greater evil”

Also: I love that Optimus is still so full of hope for that “one success” even though he’s failed so many times. Good characterization

I really love the animation style in Cyberverse. Also that Opening is STILL incredible, I can’t get enough of that (but oh Starscream, buddy, yellow is not your color)

Starscream, petting a Scraplet: Don’t you recognize her? This was the great Solus Prime! Slipstream: Can I PLEASE go home Starscream: Wait I’m not finished showing you my bug collection

“This is the noble Megatronus!” hrGHHH WHY DOES THAT MAKE MY HEART ACHE

The Seekers have only one brain cell and clearly Slipstream is the only one in possession of it

Soundwave: Together? That’s ridi— Megatron: *raises an arm to silence him* Me: HOW DARE YOU SHUSH MY BOY

The way Megatron says “let us discuss” while leaning forward makes me cautiously suspicious, but also I wonder if Megatron is as anxious to come to an agreement with Optimus as Optimus is with him, in his own way...

Shadow Striker’s surveillance got blocked by Prowl’s massive chest lmaooooo

Shadow Striker has such a good voice, I KNOW I MENTION THE VA’s IN EVERY LIVEBLOG BUT MAN!!! CYBERVERSE HAS SUCH GREAT VOICE ACTORS

It’s so tragic that Bumblebee and Rodimus are utterly indifferent to the peace talks because they happen so frequently and always fall through :( yet again, good way of showing without getting into too much detail. I admire the way cyberverse tells their stories

OMG SOUNDWAVE AND WINDBLADE ARE ABOUT TO GO AT IT

Grimlock: quit staring at me Shockwave: illogical Grimlock: I’LL SHOW YOU ILLOGICAL GUYS PLS lmao that cracks me up, they sound like CHILDREN

Lmao @ Megatron yelling at them all, “LEAVE ME ALONE IM TRYING TO TALK TO MY EX”

tfw you’re trying to make up with your ex but your disaster children have absolutely zero chill

OH GOOD SLIPSTREAM IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE MOST COMPETENT DECEPTICON

“Must we?” SOUNDWAVE C'MON MAN

HE HAS A GUN ON THE BOTTOM OF HIS FOOT IN SUCH A WEIRD SPOT LMAO

SHE SHOT HIM AND I CANT EVEN BE THAT MAD, SOUNDWAVE YOU’RE BEING A BUTT

“The biggest mistake I made was underestimating Starscream” story of Megatron’s life in every series

OMG….SHADOW STRIKER AND PROWL ARE HANGING OUT…THAT’S UNEXPECTEDLY ADORABLE

wHEELJACK AND SHOCKWAVE HANGING OUT WITH THE SHOCKLETS IM SHRIEKING WITH JOY THATS!! SO!!! CUTE!!!!

Shockwave’s little expression before it cuts back to Megatron and Optimus :’)

*whispers* and they were LAB partners!

Megatron: We should have talked like this ages ago, Prime Optimus: So much history between us… *meaningful shot of them sitting on either end of a very long table* Megatron: …and yet, so little trust Me, wheezing in agony

“Most roads on Cybertron are one way” FRICKIN

MEGATRON YOU DORK. I have no idea if he was being serious or being metaphorical but either way I laughed even while my heart ached

WINDBLADE ITS YOUR GIRLFRIEND SLIPSTREAM

Slipstream: Who’s the second most competent person I know. Slipstream: Well, it’s definitely not gonna be a Decepticon

SLIPSTREAM NO!!!!! WTF

Wheeljack: Well, it was fun while it lasted! Shockwave: No it wasn’t Snorts

MAN THIS IS KILLING ME, FATE REALLY NEVER CUTS MEGATRON AND OPTIMUS A BREAK HUH???

AGAIN, TFW YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE UP WITH YOUR EX BUT YOUR KIDS HAVE ZERO CHILL

OK BUT THEY’RE NOT GONNA LEAVE SLIPSTREAM LIKE THAT ARE THEY???? Jeez louise. I mean I know she’s not dead dead, my guess is she’s going to manipulate the All Spark from within later on to screw up Starscream’s plans, there’s no way they’d write her out like this.

EPISODE 8

Kitty cat no!!!

“They’re not here anymore!” Thank you captain obvious lmao. I love him. I bet Cheetor would get along well with Teletraan

“I know you told me not to interrupt anymore but—” lmao

OH NO A DISTRESS CALL FROM MEGATRON??? A last desperate attempt to warn Prime against a great danger??? Suspicious yet sweet

“Sounds extra forboding!” Teletran you’re such a DORK

Ohhh I really do love the way they animate Windblade’s expressions

“Well, this isn’t creepy at all!” Lol me 2 Rodimus

UHHHH ARE THOSE THINGS IN THEIR CHESTS BUGS??? IS THIS GOING TO BE AN ALIEN VS PREDATOR THING oh no ok, it’s just their sparks, I WAS GONNA SAY

*Ominous thunking ends abruptly* Well that’s not ominous at all

I mean at least they’ve still got their sparks?

OH MAN they even got Shockwave and Shadow Striker, jeez

SOUNDWAVE NO!

Optimus: Starscream’s forces managed to overwhelm everyone, even Soundwave I love that he said “even Soundwave”, like, yes, good, that’s right Optimus, thank you for acknowledging that my boy is no pushover

YO HOT ROD HAS HIS FLAME POWERS THAT’S SO COOL

I love the way they animate Windblade’s sword, that looks awesome

OH NO THEY’RE GETTING OPTIMUS, JEEZ THAT LOOKS BAD

MEGATRON OH NO

Starscream’s dramatic frickin reveal killed me, I can’t believe he didn’t say “Megatron has fallen

AW The frat boys trio working together is so cute :’) I love them

“We got your back, Cheetz!” RODIMUS YOU ARE PRECIOUS

HECK YEAH RODIMUS, YOUR FIRE POWERS LOOK SO C

NO THEY”RE GETTING BUMBLEBEE AND HOT ROD OH NO NONO!!!!

RUN KITTY RUN!!!

ALPHA TRION....Good lord

“Alpha Trion says he’s very disappointed in you, Optimus” STARSCREAM PLZ, HE REALLY IS LIKE A CRAZY PET OWNER

Ohhh they’re talking about the Matrix

WINDBLADE NO!!!!! NOT MY GIRL

OH SNAP THEY’RE ACTUALLY GOING FOR IT??? NO ONE’S GOING TO JUMP IN TO SAVE OPTIMUS???

THAT’S SO GRUESOME WTF, THEY’RE ACTUALLY TEARING HIS CHEST OPEN TO TAKE IT OUT

“The Matrix looks really pretty” I say in a small voice, mortified beyond belief

CHEETOR IS SO CUTE....

“You do not understand who and what you are fighting” SICK LINE CHEETOR

THANK YOU FOR RIPPING THAT HIDEOUS YELLOW ARMOR OFF STARSCREAM

THE FRAT BOY FRIENDSHIP TRIO IS SO CUTE

Megatron: I will...permit you to leave now Optimus: You are welcome Ughhhh Megatron’s expression while they’re walking away is so good thIS KILLS ME...........

Cyberverse 9!

OH NO THUNDERCRACKER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, ARE YOU OK???

WHY IS SLIPSTREAM SUDDENLY THERE AGAIN, WHAT’S GOING ON (NOT THAT I’M NOT GLAD TO SEE YOU)

Wait I forgot there’s another purple Seeker, that’s probably not Slipstream RATS

What exactly is Cheetor doing, WAIT I think these are all old memories he’s seen, these are just flashbacks ALRIGHT WE’RE COOL I GOT IT NOW

GOSH I LOVE MEGAOP BATTLES NO MATTER HOW BRIEF THEY ARE

Cheetor: I hope they one day settle their differences so that we may one day take our place among them Somehow that makes him sound like an alien, which is ironic since they’re ALL aliens

Very nice group shot right there

aw, Cheetor is right at Rodimus’ hand level when he’s in his cheetah alt mode, I half expected Rodimus to pet him

"Won’t someone please pet me??”

Man, this makes me miss Ravage. I’d love to see him show up in Cyberverse too. We know Lazerbeak is here at least though!

Hot Rod: How can we find Starscream if he ghosted us? Bumblebee: “Ghosted us”? LMAO nice slang Hot Rod

Aww poor Cheetor, me too buddy

RATCHET RATCHET RATCHET!!!!

LMAO HE SCREAMED, I LOVE YOU RATCHET YOU’RE SO CUTE

Oh no Cheetor, don’t go help Wheeljack

LMAO Cheetor you’re just so sneaky like a kitty cat, no one can hear you coming

OH NO DEFINITELY DON”T HELP PROWL

“YOU”LL NEVER TAKE ME” PROWL PLEASE

AW BUMBLEBEE SCARED CHEETOR that’s sweet that he went to go make Cheetor feel better :’) Best buddies

WAIT WTF

FRICKIN CYBERVERSE, YOU SCARED ME FOR A SECOND, I HEARD THAT SOUND AND I WARPED BACK TO FRICKIN 2005, HOW COULD YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT

This frickin series is made by a bunch of MEMERS

BEE SAVED THE KITTY CAT!!!!

UH OH jeez louise they got caught

“I was so hoping to never see you again!” I love you Bumblebee

SPARK MERGING??? STARSCREAM BUDDY....

“I have no fight with you. We are soon to be one” Not creepy at all Starscream

OH NO IS HE GOING TO PUT BEE’S SPARK INA SCRAPLET??? JEEZ THAT’S NEW

SMART THINKING CHEETOR

CHEETOR AND BEE ARE SUCH CUTE FRIENDS GOSH

wait Episode 10 is out too??? OK I CAN”T HELP MYSELF, IM GONNA PUT IT IN A NEW TEXT POST THOUGH

MAN I LOVE THIS SERIES!!! I LOVE CYBERVERSE

#i talk #Cyberverse #cyberverse spoiler /#I'm watching Cyberverse #Primordial robot hell

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breziarchive · 7 years

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Laurlita, plz! May be some angst, rivalry and UST. Doesn't sounds very romantic but why not

hey man you come to me for the angst you’re gonna get the angst, i have a Reputation to uphold, did you see the last entry? i posted it and went “wait, that’s hardly a valentiAH FUCK IT

slight nsfw; minor nudity

cw; body image stuff, emotional abuse

valentine’s day boogaloo - guidelines

Day in, day out.

She wondered how Jeremie didn’t notice that it had become competition between the two girls. Sometimes she wondered how it had become a competition. Laura was just trying to help. Of course it didn’t help that she felt the need to rub it in when she did do something right and got excited. It was more exhilarating than getting a good grade and a pat on the head from her father’s stern hand–there was a faster, more tangible reward. She felt like she was doing something other than scratching words and numbers on paper and getting told it was right or wrong, factual rights and factual errors, no morality or wiggle room. Unlike this.

The glares Aelita gave her were almost unbearable now. All she was doing was helping, right? What did it matter who went to Jeremie when? It’s not like she was a competitor for Jeremie’s affections, was she? Was that what Aelita was worried about? Day in, day out?

It became a strain on Laura. Trying to get to Jeremie first with similar paperwork and ideas that Aelita had come up with only because if Aelita had gotten there first there was a risk of them dropping her from the group. No friends, no future, no choice, again. Frustration rose in her chest every time she saw the pink-haired girl, to the point of tears whenever she lost the unspoken competition and Aelita got there first. Her thin fingers, usually so delicately holding a pen with perfect posture, curled in anger and she wanted to dig her hands into Aelita’s skin and shake her until she stopped. Just stopped. Laura had been a one-person machine, always doing things alone. But the Lyoko kids, they always did things together, and once Laura had had a piece of that, she wanted it. Needed it. Including Aelita.

She knew she didn’t understand, but she wanted to. She wanted in.

Hatred burned in Aelita’s eyes whenever Laura entered her vision, though. Laura knew it was useless to try and get Aelita to stop. She didn’t want her there, and nothing Laura wished for would make Aelita change her mind.

Laura sat in her single-bed dorm and pressed her face into her bony hands. Her flush, young cheeks burned red as she cried, frustrated and confused. In the end she figured the only thing she wanted was Aelita’s help, but there was no way to get that, was there? Aelita loved Jeremie, therefore Jeremie would always get Aelita’s help.

Well, Aelita needed to love her! Because she wanted help more than Jeremie needed it! What did Jeremie have that she didn’t?! He didn’t even pay attention to Aelita enough to know about this stupid rivalry! He just took papers and notes and never acknowledged her emotions or her mental state! It wasn’t Laura’s fault that Jeremie wasn’t paying attention to her! Meanwhile Laura saw everything, and she kept quiet, knowing that Aelita wouldn’t allow her to speak up and ask. But…If…If perhaps they could just compile their notes and present them to Jeremie together, maybe this stupid shitty competition would end and they could get over this stupid, useless rivalry. Maybe there was a way to tear down the wall. Please. Please. Laura was sick of being alone.

She raised her face from her fingers to look at herself in the full-length mirror propped against the far wall. She looked like a mess, salty tears making her blonde hair stick to her face. No, it was worse than just looking like a mess.

Laura stood up. It was so much worse.

Slowly, she slipped her cardigan off her shoulders and rolled her socks off her small feet. If her father even knew or fathomed she was doing this he’d find a way to slam his iron gavel down and she’d be put to the books until her hands blistered to the point of uselessness. Strict, hyper-religious, expectations she met only due to struggling and complete destruction of any social life…

She stepped out of her skirt and pulled her shirt over her head. Her hands closed on the strap of her camisole and the band of her panties. There she stopped, looking at her body in the mirror and feeling sick.

She was a mess. A goddamn mess. Never use your body, her father ordered, It’s not worth anything. Use your brain, it’s the only part of you that can do anything. And while those words held good intentions, here she was, sobbing bitterly at her reflection because the only thing using her brain to its utmost capacity had brought her was loneliness and a desperate need to impress so bad she pushed people away because of it.

Much as Jeremie didn’t pay attention to Aelita, he didn’t really pay attention to her, either, and she knew that absolutely none of the Lyoko kids really liked her at all.

It’s not worth anything.

If there was one part (or many parts) of her that wasn’t worth anything, then the whole of her wasn’t worth anything. One rotten apple spoils the bunch. Laura still didn’t have any friends, and Aelita hated her.

She didn’t want Aelita to hate her. She wanted Aelita to like her. To hell with her father’s views, she wanted Aelita to like like her. Wanted Aelita to look at her body and smile with genuine warmth and affection, wanted her to see her work and compare and contrast it with hers and collaborate, wanted to stop competing so damn much and just kind of exist comfortably. Day in, day out.

Why her, why Aelita? Why did Laura always have to choose the goddamn challenge, the impossible wall, why did she always go for the gifted and extracurricular, as if it added to her grade (worth) in the end?

What did it matter. It’s not like she could choose who she ended up liking anyways.

She gathered her discarded clothes and put them back on, one by one, through her tears. Here, Aelita, do you want to look at my notes? Maybe we can figure it out and take it to Jeremie together.

Laura pulled the notebook she used to scribble ideas and programs down in and tucked it into her elbow.

Here, Aelita, do you want to look at my notes? Maybe we can figure it out and take it to Jeremie together.

Her laptop, too, she unplugged and placed it with her notebook.

Here, Aelita, do you want to look at my notes? Maybe we can figure it out and take it to Jeremie together.

Out the door. Down the dorm hall. Aelita’s door. She raised her thin fist to knock.

Here, Aelita, do you want to look at my notes? Maybe we can figure it out and take it to Jeremie together.

Laura trembled, anxious.

It’s not worth anything.

She lowered her fist and walked away.

#code lyoko #valentine's day boogaloo #laura gauthier #aelita #laurlita #pink lemonade

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sanguinesprout · 6 years

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Well, that sucked... uuuuugh it’s coooooold xwx (updates, some gloomy and bright feels and self pep talk)

Hmmmmmmm... so, long time no post-ish...kinda..! To put it simply I’ve been stressing real hard over this form to try claim benefits/financial help and expended all mental my energy on that aaaall these past weeks. I struggled and I avoided but I finally fiiiiinallly managed to do it and now the main source of stress has subsided temporarily until they contact me again for maybe a face to face meeting in which I’ll commence my super anxiety flailing. But I guess for now I have time to stress about the things I normally stress over and haven’t done yet. Pah!

So the form right, you have to fill in about your health conditions/disabilities and I reaaaally had trouble writing about things like that. I mean, writing on here definitely helped me with some parts of it, since it was stuff I had written before, but just not on paper and... writing it out irl is like... super difficult and uncomfortable and knowing someone has to read it and ugh damn... I had to write about physical things too and there were lots of things I kinda was unsure of and it went from me writing very little to me writing probably TOO much last minute xwx I mean, it’s better than writing too less, but maybe I went into more detail than needed, but maybe it’s enough info that they’ll skip me in the face to face part... plz plz plssss! ;3; No, no you’ll be fine, you can do it!

I seriously spent so much time staring at it and it was just so hard, there was this reluctance even though I wanted to get it over with so badly, it’s like there was a magnet pulling me away, my concentration level dropped to minus 10000000, my head hurt from forcing myself to try think, it was torture Dx It’s probably something so easy but I unconsciously chose to overthink it and get all ruffled by the prospect that someone’s gonna read it and judge me... mehhh. By this point I just hope they can read my handwriting lol it literally looked like some kids english homework, full of scribbling out and arrows everywhere hahaha *sob* I had my sis read over it before I sent it, I was really nervous about that, it’s like she’s seeing a big slice of this blog (which scurred me), but she said it was fine, it was good! She’s supportive of me even if we frustrate each other a lot, I’m really thankful for her help and encouragement ;u;

Anyways, whatever the outcome, at least I tried! I kinda succeeded in finishing something I would’ve just not even attempted usually and that’s great! I did good and if there is a next time, I’ll try even harder! The anxiety and irrational held me back and scared me away from trying, but maybe I’ll get over them much easier now that I proved to myself I could do it if I just really really reaaaally put my mind to it! Putting my pen to the paper, that’s another big thing that was needing to be done too lol. The race between doubt and determination was won by determination’s last minute spurt powered by encouragement from various sources (including myself and my fear of letting people down!) Yaaay~! sarcasm is no good booo!

Form aside, I had to do phone calls and make trips to the post office quite a bit lately too, I did them! Whooo! I also went out and had some nice shopping trips, even met some of my sis’ buddies and it was nice, it was pretty fun in fact! I wasn’t as anxious as I thought I’d be, though the times I were, I just... sucked it up and kinda went with the flow and it became okay after... I tried and I pushed forward and everything was alright *hugs self* c:

I have such less energy and brain cells left that this post probably sounds so half assed and pointless no, no negativity! silly, but I’m doing it, I haven’t abandoned my blog and it’s almost been a whole year... or at least 2/3 of a year, yay for me! Christmas is so soon, it feels kind of lonely this year compared to past years because of some things but it’ll be okay, as long as I have my family and finally get to spend some nice quality time with them like I’ve been looking forward to, I’m happy! ^^

I got a lot of materials to make some nice arts and crafty things lately. it’s kinda given me some more incentive to make some nice things and just have some fun. I haven’t done anything yet though, but I plan to... ack! Gotta make sure not to overthink things and put myself off, just go for it! I’m not abandoning my dreams of making some self motivational/self expressive or cute things or just learning to draw in general (lolol) just yet! I’ve just kinda gotten a bit doubtful and shy again (especially with just being online too), but Imma crawl back out this hole and do some things right naaaaooo!! *slips and tumbles* oof @w@” C’mon silly, keep going, believe in yourself!

I have a lot of ideas, and they keep piling up, but I’m having a hard time getting them out... I keep letting the anxiety, comparing, fear of judgement slip in and foil my plans. Things don’t have to be perfect, just try your best..! It doesn’t matter what other people think, as long as you like your creations. Other people have their own style and you have yours, be proud of it and let it shine. Practice makes... progress! You can do it!

I want to try and do more than one thing a day like most other people can like I know I have the potential to, like maybe do a little bit of art, a little bit of self care, a little bit of family time rather than just sitting around wondering which thing to prioritise or which thing is a waste of time to focus on and in the end achieve absolutely nooooothing .___. Baby steps, keep climbing, keep growing, don’t let your thoughts bring you down, you can achieve everything you want to, you just have to try with all your heart, ignore the mental obstacles, they can’t stop you, go go go!

With one of the other things I was stressing about a few weeks earlier, it was submitting a claim for a lost parcel, I struggled with that even, but I tried really hard and I did it and even though I was expecting nothing to happen, something good did happen! They fully reimbursed me! I was so surprised! Even though I was missing some information and thought it was going to be pointless and many weeks passed and I even forgot about it, my efforts actually paid off. The experience alone of just trying was a good lesson for me, but now I’m beginning to believe in ‘if you don’t try, you won’t know/nothing ventured nothing gained’ even more! This happened after I submitted my benefits application, I don’t wanna be too hopeful incase nothing happens here, but whether the result is something or nothing, I’m just glad I tried! c’:

I also received some praise about my packaging skill and service (I’ve been selling unwanted things and I always put in a lot of effort) and it was so sweet and kind and just lifted my sprits so much for someone to acknowledge it, I am so grateful ;w; For someone to take their time to write such a nice message and show their appreciation, ahhh it’s such a wonderful feeling..! I reached my goal of making at least one person smile! It was also another very pleasant surprise! I want to continue to chase this feeling and keep fulfilling this goal! I hope one day I’ll be able to feel this way with my creations ahhh cryyy ;u;

With my physical health woes and medication trials, it has only been a short period but it seems to be going alright, not very far, but it’s going somewhere and in a more positive direction. Once again I am so grateful to my dr, they are so amazing and kind and helpful ;u; Health is important! I want my family to be more healthy too, I worry about them a lot, because they don’t take care of themselves and they also avoid things and... uuu I’m sad :c I don’t want for them to be ill, time is short and I wish for them to be well and happy but it’s difficult when they’re so stubborn. I need to try harder.

A family friend passed away from illness very recently, it was extremely saddening... It must be incredibly hard for their family right now, I hope they will be okay Y__Y Life is unfair, life is unpredictable, it’s all the more reason why I need to get up and make the most of it right now. Spend as much time with loved ones as I can and make sure everyone is happy and healthy so we can have an even longer happier life together, reach for my dreams and so and so. Yolo... so try your hardest... time is precious ;^;

Well, um... that made things a little gloomy but I have to learn to face reality more seriously. Okay, for ourself and our loved ones, let’s make everyone proud and try our best! This life is my own and I’m going to take control of it, I’m gonna make it worth being happy about! Time is of the essence!

It’s been so cold lately, but because of this I’ve been able to see it snow! Although it’s not much, but it’s magical all the same and I’m happy to have been able to witness it, to go outside and enjoy the little but wonderful things of life, I don’t want to miss out on them anymore either! A new year is approaching, a new year where it will still be hard but I’ll continue to persevere until I’ve reached my goals! The post I left in my drafts, which I see every time I post here, the one with a long list of my dreams and things I’ve been wanting to do, I glanced at it and I think I managed to do a few of the littler things this year! I still have a lot to go, so I’m gonna aim to do at least twice as much next year! Yeah!!

Have a great evening (and a wonderful Christmas and New Year if I don’t post again before then), let’s go go! :D

#avpd #anxiety #social anxiety #depression #self-motivation #reflection #family #look after yourself and your loved ones #YOLO!#Life's too short to keep worrying about silly things #don't overthink #nothing ventured nothing gained #things aren't always as hard as they seem #it's okay for things to not be perfect #follow your dreams #Believe in yourself #try your best!#you can do it!#onwards to victory!

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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27 Doctors And Nurses Describe The Exact Moment They Realized Their Patient Was An Idiot

1. Put collard greens into her vagina

I had a patient that got a pretty nasty infection and became septic after putting collard greens in her vagina for several days because she thought it would induce an abortion.

2. Thought she had menopause

Not a Doctor, but EMT.

Had a woman who was in active labor, despite insisting she couldn’t be pregnant. She said her last period was “like ten months ago” so she’d gone through menopause.

She was 25.

3. I don’t have diabetes…

“I don’t have diabetes, I take medicine for that.” – happens so often I cant put a face to that quote.

4. The oatmeal lady

A woman comes in after having a baby and tells us she’s having trouble breastfeeding. I book her an appointment at a breastfeeding clinic, give her some resources, etc. Her appointment was fine and she went on her merry way. A few weeks later, we get the fax that she went to the breastfeeding clinic and everything was fine. Awesome.

A year later she shows up for her doctor’s appointment, and she’s obese. She must have put 100lbs on an already obese frame. She’s developed many health problems related to her weight (that she refuses to acknowledge are due to her weight. Of course.) She tells us she’s never been more active after having a kid, her diet hasn’t changed, her work life hasn’t changed, nothing has changed, the weight gain just happened due to ~hormones. We ask if she’s breastfeeding, she says yes. We ask how she’s getting the extra calories for the breastfeeding, and she tells us the Clinic told her to eat 1-2 bowls of plain oatmeal a day. It worked, so she’s still doing it.

We figure this is how she gained so much weight (she’s probably eating 2 large bowls of oatmeal on top of her meals, with milk, sugar, butter, etc), but the woman she’s eating 1-2 packets of plain oatmeal a day. Nothing on it, nothing added to it. It says plain on the package, it tastes plain, it’s plain.

We send the doctor in to see her after briefing him on the whole story about the oatmeal. He’s in the room with her a time — much longer than normal. When she comes out of the room, she keeps her head down and walks off, looking angry and embarrassed. The doctor walks up to the nursing table and fills out the chart.

“You never asked what of oatmeal she’s eating”.

Yeah. Turns out she didn’t know plain rolled oats were a thing. She thought the breastfeeding clinic meant plain oatmeal . She was eating an entire of Dad’s oatmeal cookies every single day for a year (basically a ‘bowl or two’ filled with cookies), and could not understand how that was different from oatmeal.

5. She was expecting to lose weight on this diet?

Had a patient who was coming back post lap band for a check up. What we usually do is revise the patient’s weight, etc and ‘tighten’ the band or ‘loosen’ it as needed.

Now the thing to remember is that getting lap band isn’t as easy as just throwing down some money. For six months, the patient must meet with a psychiatrist and a dietitian to understand what they’re getting into and if they can adjust their lifestyles and commit. A goal weight loss target (ex: lose ten pounds) is usually set for the end of the six months to ensure the patient is serious. So after all of this rigorous evaluation, a patient is deemed fit for an operation.

Enter my patient ‘Sylvia’. I checked her chart, BMI before surgery was 40, she was morbidly obese, and now had come in for her first follow up to ascertain if she’d lost any weight. Well, I put her on the scale, calculate, and what do I see? Her BMI was now 45. Perplexed, I asked her to explain her diet to me.

Sylvia- Well I’ve been doing a liquid diet just like you all said

Me- Very good! Can you maybe what you have?

Sylvia- I make smoothies and have them whenever I feel hungry.

Me- So what do you put in your smoothies?

Sylvia- Cake and ice cream.

Me- …..

Yup. She was serious. Somehow it didn’t occur to her that this wouldn’t be healthy. We reversed her band.

6. What was she feeding her baby?

A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the babys bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldnt be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, “Oh that isnt chocolate milk. Its coffee! He just loves it!

7. Actually, she wasn’t dying at all

An older lady was brought into the ER barely conscious by her husband. In a very thick Italian accent she told the doctor she was dying. She had complained of feeling tingly and having a dry mouth prior to passing out.

The doctor sat the husband down and they did a history. No serious medical problems and she was very fit. In fact she spent the morning cleaning her sons bar, as she often did on a Sunday morning.

Considering her age they took these symptoms very seriously and begun running tests to find the source of her ailments.

The son came in to visit his mother, and on the way he bypassed his bar. He noticed that his mother had helped herself to some of the ‘treats’ prepared the night before.

The son, the apple of his parents eye, had to then explain to his father and the doctor that the treats she had enjoyed were space cakes. And apparently she really enjoyed them as she ate quite a few.

They then had to sit down and tell this elderly lady that she was not dying, and that she was in fact stoned!

Fortunately she was still high enough to see the humour.

8. Her son had a “skull fracture”

A secretary buzzes back to me that there’s a call on line two that needs medical advice. I pick it up and one of our patient’s mother is on the phone having a panic attack. She is hyperventilating into the phone. I asked her if she was alright, thinking maybe she needed an ambulance, and through her breaths and now tears, she starts telling me that she thinks her four year old son has a skull fracture.

I ask if he fell. No.

I ask if he’s conscious. Yes.

I ask if he’s breathing. Yes.

I ask if he is bleeding from his ears, eyes, nose, mouth, scalp. No.

I ask if there is any visible wound. No.

I ask why she thinks he fractured his skull. Because underneath his eyes is red and puffy and Google says that’s a skull fracture.

I tell her to go to the ER for proper assessment (we don’t do MRIs, X-rays, CT Scans). She doesn’t want to. She says she was supposed to take her kids to the beach. Mind you, she is still crying and breathing heavy at this point. I tell her to come right over then but warned her we would probably have to send her to the ER.

She shows up 15 minutes later, cradling the child and crying. The little boy was crying too and screaming “I don’t want to die Mommy!” She kept hushing him and saying “Mommy loves her strong boy, no matter what!” Which only made him cry harder.

I pull her back into the room and she just dissolves as she tells me how she looked at him in horror this morning and saw the guarantee signs of a skull fracture. She swears he must have hit his head yesterday at swim practice.

The little boy is crying hard but I can see the noticeable swelling and pinkness under the eyes that she was referring too. I went to get another doctor and told her what I thought. She went in, came out about ten minutes later shaking her head. She had the same diagnosis.

You know when you wipe your eyes after swimming, you usually wipe under your eye too? The kid must have wiped off his sunscreen around his eyes the day before. All the pinkness and puffiness was from a mild sunburn under his eyes.

9. People who go to the vet are stupid too

I don’t have to deal with people patients, but I helped out a vet for a while and there’s a lot of dumb pet owners. Had one lady who was really concerned about her obese lab getting hiccups. The vet let her know the dog was overweight and she told him he was wrong and then insisted we do diagnostic tests to “figure out” the hiccups.

10. He totally does this to himself

I don’t like speaking ill of my patients mainly because I think we all neglect our health to a certain extent volitionally, and that can be viewed as “dumb”.

But the winner is Aristotle*. Aristotle is a 35 year old highly functional corporate lawyer. Aristotle has G6PD deficiency and (in his case) he develops mild hemolysis when exposed to certain foods, including fava beans. Every year for his birthday, Aristotle goes to the fancy Greek restaurant and gets gigandes plaki, his favourite dish. Every year he develops mild hemolysis with mild jaundice and dark urine. Every year he comes to see me, his gastroenterologist, urgently and without an appointment on the day after his birthday — bull-in-china-shopping my clinic, yelling at the secretary and other patients if he could be seen first. Every year he repeats his highly anxious concerns that his liver is screwed up because he’s mildly jaundiced and has dark urine. Every year I tell him it’s from the gigandes plaki. Every year he resolves never to eat it again and is fine for the rest of the year on his G6PD diet.

And every year on his birthday, he forgets. And then the cycle continues.

11. Cure us with ur mind plz

A lot of patients come to the hospital because they are “sick” but refuse to do any tests or take any medicine. Do people expect healthcare workers to do a ritual dance and chant around them and magically heal their illnesses?

12. But seriously

Patient: “Well do I really NEED the chest x-ray and EKG?”

Me: “Well you came here for a cough and chest pain soooo…”

P: “Yes but do I NEED them?”

Me: (thinking) WHY THE FUCK DID YOU COME HERE?!

13. She drank acidic water (but said it wasn’t acidic!)

Dentist here. In school I had a 70yr old pt who was still in the dating game and looked like that old lady who just died who played the Jeanie. (I was thinking of Joan Rivers)

She’s got a ton of acid erosion on her teeth. Tells me she drinks on “3-O” water. Didn’t know what was in it. We look it up on Google. That’d be a pH of 3. All of her water. Plus, she likes to put lemons in her water. I tell her this is also acidic. She tells me I’m wrong, because her friend who took a few nutrition classes said that as soon as the lemon juice gets into the body, it turns basic.

I told her I had a biochemistry degree… And that was wrong.

Also, her blood pressure is super high every visit. She tells me that she stopped takin her BP Meds because she thought they were unhealthy. I tell her that he method is not working at all.

A few weeks later, she strokes out and never gets out of a wheel chair again.

I’m friends w/ her on Facebook now. It’s just sad.

14. Greasy hair = diabetes???

Was translating at a medical clinic once. A father brought in his 20-year old son convinced he had early signs of diabetes since his hair was greasy. After convincing the doctor that’s what he was actually there for, we told him to go take a shower and try different shampoo its sad how little some people know about diabetes

15. Wait, which hole is it?

Nurse here.

Recently had a patients wife claim to be a retired nurse. While we were teaching her how to do an in and out catheter on her husband, she asked which hole the pee came out of and which hole the semen came out of.

16. Use the crystals instead

I’m a medical student but the number of patients I’ve seen who refuse to take medicine because they ‘don’t want chemicals’ inside them is staggering

17. Why do the good die young?

I had a woman call 911 once for a body who was supposedly murdered underneath a railroad bridge during a massive music festival. When we got there, it ended being a log with a jacket thrown over it, and a very drunk woman sobbing over said log.

18. She doesn’t want a “child’s disease”

Patient came in with a rash around her mouth; she was going on about how she had it 14 years ago and the dermatologist prescribed a certain antibiotic to cure it and diagnosed her with “perioral dermatitis.” She’s showing us pictures on Google. Okay.

Doctor diagnoses her with impetigo and prescribes her an antibiotic ointment. She leaves and fills the prescription and comes back flipping her shit. She googled impetigo and, with the help of WebMD, came to the conclusion that it was a children’s disorder on the arms and legs that can only be contracted from children and she wasn’t around children. Insists that what she believes she has (perioral dermatitis) is a “woman’s disorder” and she doesn’t have this “children’s disease”. Says that the antibiotic he prescribed isn’t on the list of treatments (thanks WebMD). (It’s on the top of the list actually, of you know, actual medical books, but whatever)

Whole time, she’s showing us these pics off google of “perioral dermatitis” saying it’s a woman’s disorder. Half the pictures were of men. Now one thing you should know, perioral dermatitis means rash around the mouth. That’s it. It doesn’t mean shit. It’s not a type of rash. It’s not only cured by a specific antibiotic. It’s just a rash that happens to be around the mouth. She was furious, shaking with rage and about to start throwing shit bc the doctor wouldn’t prescribe her this certain antibiotic. Doctor told us to call the cops if she came back. People are crazy.

19. He was stung by a bee and fine

I’m a student and my GP supervisor was involved in a scheme to reduce A&E waiting times by having a GP in A&E to take patients that weren’t actually in an accident or an emergency. As none of the patients were actually dangerously ill I was basically doing the consultations with the doctor supervising, double checking and signing prescriptions etc.

A guy in his late 20s walks in, looking very healthy, and sits down. “I was stung by a bee this morning”. “Where?” “On my cheek” “How long ago was this?” “Well it took me about half an hour to get here and then I’ve been waiting another three and a half hours” “Did it stop you swallowing or breathing?” “No.” “Are you allergic?” “No.” “What would you like us to do?” “Check I’m OK.”…

At this point I turn around to my supervisor attempting to say WTF do I do here? He says “You’re OK, go home.”

It was the most surreal consultation I’ve ever had.

20. That’s not how glasses work

Not a doctor but my dad is an opthamologist (eye doctor). He once told me that one of his patients came in utterly confused why the “medicine in his glasses no work anymore.”

21. Couldn’t feel the tiny tip of her pinkie

When I worked in a&e, had a patient with the complaint of “neurology” in minors. She tells me she cant feel the tip of her pinkie. A vague 0.2cmx0.2cm patch right at the top. No sensation there whatsoever. No other history or symptoms. I grabbed a needle, poked it and cured her.

22. What the actual fuck

I had a woman who refused to be discharged as she “couldn’t keep any food or drink down”. Her room was filled to the brink with sweets crisps and fizzy drinks.

I asked her to show me the vomit. She produced a sick bowl she had filled with spit. I pH tested this in front of her (contents of stomach are acidic). Of course pH was normal. She then stuck her fingers down her throat and physically forced herself to repeatedly gag and vomit. In front of me.

Next day I returned and said she had blood in her urine. She’d filled a sample pot with red juice. It literally smelled of fruit.

Boss discharged her that afternoon. She was back within a week I think

23. She wouldn’t turn off her zombie movies

Another patient was in the hospital to have her 9th baby and then give it up for adoption (she was 9 for 9 on adopting out babies). She was 34, had a BMI of 65, no teeth, a creepy partner (I think it was a feeding fetish type relationship) and NO pain tolerance. I was asked to do an epidural. As I’m going through the consent, she’s distracted by some zombie pseudo-documentary that she refused to turn off. She had brought the entire DVD set to watch during labor. At the end of the consent process, I asked if she had any questions.

She just wanted to know “when can I go smoke a cigarette?” I told her after the baby was out she could do whatever she wanted. The adoptive parents, who already had a few of her offspring, were there the ENTIRE time. I had to forcefully ask them to leave for the sterile epidural placement, which was remarkably easy given her size but a little more challenging given the distracting zombie show that she REFUSED to let us turn off. Baby slid out about 30 minutes later, and she was discharged before the end of the day. I think the OBs at least managed to get an IUD into her.

24. But will he still be a virgin?

I had a patient’s mom ask me if putting a catheter in her 6 year old son would break his hymen and would he still be a virgin.

Being a virgin was important to them because of religious reasons.

25. You can’t cure stupid

One was a lady wanting to know if our clinic would do a “virginity test” on her because her PCP told her they don’t do that. It took me way too long to explain it’s not a real thing.

Another lady needed to get tested for STDs, not weird, but she said she needed us to send the results to her prospective employer? Uh why?? We told her we wouldn’t do that but she could come get a copy of her results and do whatever she wanted with it. She does but comes back later the same day and says we gave her the wrong test results. We double check, nope, those are def her test results. Trying to sort this out with her, I asked her why her employers would want an STD test anyway. She says, they said it’s to make sure I don’t have “tubulars.”

Then it dawned on me. She meant Tuberculosis. She needed a TB test, not an STD test. She gets angry and yells that we’re just trying to trick her into taking more tests to charge her more and then stormed out…

26. “One more for the road”

This happened to a friend of mine when he was in training to become a paramedic. He was on a ride along, basically, and they had received a call where a woman fell down the stairs. They get to the address and knock on the door. The woman who called was inside folding clothes. Apparently she had been drinking on her medication. Twisted her ankle and called for an ambulance. So they asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital. She’s says yes, then proceeds to the fridge to pour “one more for the road.”

27. I told him to not do cocaine

Doc here. I had a guy with an ICD in place. For those who don’t know, it basically shocks your heart if it goes into a funny rhythm.

He would regularly come into the hospital to have it turned off because he would do a ton of cocaine and the thing would keep firing due to his high heart rate.

I told him not to do cocaine. He kept doing cocaine.