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waitmyturtles · 3 months

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Last Twilight, episode 12: final reflections

Wow. It took me all of this past weekend to process this finale, notwithstanding the usual life craziness that has dogged me lately.

Let me preface this whole thing by saying that I'm confused by what I watched. I'd say that, overall -- I actually quite liked this series, and I especially, absolutely ADORED JimmySea, Namtan, and Mark, and their acting. JimmySea kicked major ass, and I really hope they get another big and complicated show to chew on.

I also want to say that between episodes 11 and 12, I felt that I saw uncharacteristic editing clunkiness from Aof Noppharnach and his team that left a lot of necessary emotional and ethical processing on the cutting room floor. I think that's what's ultimately making me feel uneasy about the process of watching this, but -- funnily enough, I'm not nearly as "angry" about the ending as I was with other bad shows that fell apart in their last quarter recently. It was obvious that MhokDay were going to get together.

But I needed to walk a few more steps with them on their journey to that end.

Before I got my eyes on the finale, a few reactions on social media, from Tumblr to Twitter gave me the case of the jibbles. Namely: that the story of Last Twilight would have worked better if Day had stayed blind through the end.

I wasn't really understanding how that construction could work without walking through some sort of ethical minefield.

Now that I've seen the finale -- especially that infamous 4/4 segment -- I understand better what those arguments were saying.

Yet, I'm still dogged by a kind of ethical confusion here. And maybe that was one of the points of this finale, another one of Aof Noppharnach's perhaps now-famous-or-infamous emotionally inconclusive endings.

To me, there are two ethical potholes that this show stumbled on:

1) The ethics WITHIN the fictional piece itself for a character to not depict the process of considering the various fates he might face vis à vis a potentially reversible impairment, and

2) The ethics of a REAL audience ultimately wanting a different outcome for a fictional character to NOT have an impairment reversed.

TL;DR — I don’t think Last Twilight spent enough time having Day consider the permanence or impermanence of the various fates he faced, including permanent blindness. I don’t think the characters, and as such, the audience, spent enough time understanding that a corneal transplant was always going to be Day’s endgame.

Last Twilight was marketed as a show focused on disability, on a man going blind in a society that prioritizes the able-bodied, and how he would adjust to his disability, and of course (this being GMMTV), his falling in love. As fans, we were prepared to receive a whole show about a character with a disability, not as a side pairing, à la Heart and Li Ming in Moonlight Chicken.

It so happened that Day's visual impairment was corneal deterioration -- a condition that could lead to permanent blindness, and thus qualify him for a corneal transplant.

What I'm struggling with is the crux of the ethical dilemma that this show was ALWAYS going to have to deal with: that a corneal impairment of the kind that Day experienced, in the prime of his life, could very well be reversed with surgery, a surgery that has tremendous success rates.

As such -- as we got that clarification in drips throughout the series -- this show was actually not ONLY going to be about the newfound adjustment of a recently-impaired man to an ableist society. It was ALWAYS going to have this door of ANOTHER major change, the reversal of the impairment, just slightly cracked open. I'm not sure that I, as a viewer, was fully prepared for this, even as Night and Mae Mhon spoke about "eye donations" as givens in the middle of the series. I believe the show needed to be much louder, earlier, about the "hope" that Day could "go back" to "living a normal life," instead of framing the high majority of the show around his adjustments to his impairment.

As we went through Day's adjustment to life outside of his room, I believe we needed to hear, FROM DAY HIMSELF, that a corneal transplant was a conclusion that HE believed in, that HE wanted. A failure of this series was that we unfortunately only heard that from his family members, leaving us to only ASSUME that the conclusion of the reversal of his impairment was ALSO Day's intention.

For a story that was very much about an individual's developing agency and self-advocacy: I believe I needed to hear from Day himself that he was good and ready for the final surgery. I only assume that was the case, as I saw his own body and mind in the hospital. But I believe, for dramatic success, that I could have used a basic, "I'm ready," from him, to make segment 4/4 more complete and contextual, against the story of adjustment and resilience we had so far seen before then.

And what a story of adjustment and resilience we had gotten, as Day had established a full career for himself, without Mhok next to him, during one of the time jumps of episode 12.

For my sake, as I process what I watched this weekend, I want to come to grips with what I thought were the major themes of this show, and see if I can come to some sort of sensible conclusion about what happened here.

This show was focused on:

1) the romance between Day and Mhok, 2) Mhok's caretaking and companionship being the lever to help Day out of his room and back into the world from which he had retreated after the onset of his visual impairment, 3) Day slowly learning how to function again in a society that prioritizes the able-bodied vis à vis his visual impairment, 4) Day learning how to self-advocate for himself in the face of those who condescend to him and/or keep him trapped in compassion bias postures,

and more that I'm sure I'm missing, but those are the themes that resonated the most with me.

I think the general feeling on Tumblr is that, save for the romance, that themes 3 and 4 were contradicted out of existence in the face of the sudden flip to the surgery of segment 4/4.

I think not hearing from Day himself that he was ready and willing for the surgery was a lost moment. I don't believe Day was ever acting as if he would choose anything else OTHER than surgery throughout the series. BUT, AT THE SAME TIME: what we had watched prior to 4/4 was his story of adjustment.

My biggest ethical concern here, vis à vis the audience reactions that I've read, is that NO ONE -- in fiction or in real life -- owes me a story of heroism. If there is an individual who has been impaired since birth, or is dealing with a degenerative condition later in their life, and has the opportunity to address or reverse the condition, who am I to say that that individual SHOULD NOT address their condition?

For me, this is huge. I believe this is a huge ethical dilemma that Last Twilight ultimately does not face. I wish this series had been much more centered, earlier on, about the utter REALITY that Day could have his condition reversed by surgery, in words he'd say himself, rather than assumptions made for him, on behalf of his family, who.... I presume were established to be some sort of legal conservators for him, as Mhon continued to be the one to receive eye donation text messages.

(I concede that I don't know if this is a more common set-up for disabled individuals in Thailand, as I would assume in the States, that Day himself would have been the one to receive that message directly.)

For this show to have seemed emotionally and artistically complete: I needed to hear from Day himself that surgery was an endgame that he was banking his hopes on. I also needed to understand, much more statistically clearly vis à vis the show, of the absolute risks that Day faced towards having permanent blindness for the rest of his life. Because the show ALSO needed to focus on the establishment of the romance between Mhok and Day, we missed out on the show taking time to explain to us, the viewers, of the absolute risks that Day faced in any of these scenarios -- and thus, we would have had MUCH more context into the nuances of the resilience that Day needed to establish for himself as he re-adjusted to society, with his numerous fates lying before him.

I'm going to borrow the words of @hallowpen in their final review here, to say that this show at the end needed much more "breathing room." I think @hallowpen is so right in saying it like this, because these two factors that I just laid out, geez -- the first 7/8ths of the series being about Day's social adjustment against the utter suddenness of the successful surgery and his sudden jump back to what's been translated as his "normal life" -- just clash so tonally. (I do wonder if we're getting as nuanced a translation on "normal" as we could be.)

I think this is about the most confused final review of a show that I've written. There is an ethical heaviness to all of this that's weighing on me, that I think I still need time to comb through.

I also feel that I simply do not know enough, by way of my lack of cultural competency into how Thai society approaches issues of public and private health, if Day’s unseen choice to get the surgery would have been a given among majority Thai audiences, AND that majority Thai audiences would not have asked for the kind of internal debates that I think the show could have used.

I feel thrilled that Day can see Poomjai/Mee, after making that wish in episode 11.

But I think, if this show was about a journey for someone to learn how to successfully advocate for his own agency -- that, at the very end, I needed to see that agency exercised, by him, to get to the part of the reversal of the impairment that I assumed he wanted.

Again: Day doesn't owe me his story of heroism. If fiction doesn't want to give me that, from a character with a recent impairment, I don't have the right to ask for it.

But the missing bits of artistry to get me, the viewer, to only an assumption, has led me to surprising ethical places, that will leave me wondering about what happened in this series for a long time.

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sureogi · 7 months

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（｀Δ´）！QUOTE MY HEART ( YEONJUN x READER )

SUMMARY. Back in his last year of middle school, Yeonjun was warned by the yearbook committee that he was the only graduate who hasn’t submitted a quote. So at the last minute, before submissions were closed, he quoted a song he was listening to. In his last year of high school, rumours about him start flying around—specifically about him dating someone who he has never heard of. It’s only until he realises that he was allegedly dating the school’s best news reporter of the broadcasting club, L/N Y/N, all because they accidentally matched quotes in middle school—which ruins his reputation as the school’s best swimmer. So what does Yeonjun do to redeem his title back? FIND OUT IN ‘QUOTE MY HEART’!

TL;DR. everyone thinks yeonjun is dating the school’s best reporter all because they matched quotes in middle school

GENRE. fluff, humour, strangers to enemies to lovers, social media au (lol this is my first time) yeonjun is apart of the swim team, y/n is apart of the broadcast media arts team ⋅ MAE’S MIND. i’ve always read smaus but i never had the idea of writing them until i saw how a lot of people like smaus more than written TT this will be my first and last smau cos i just wanted to experience writing one ^_^ i have an important note to mention: yes i know i said that i’ll have lots of time writing because this sem is boring but i haven’t had the motivation to continue writing/rewriting my works so i’ll be only posting/updating this smau until i have the motivation but i’ll still try to finish up some unfinished drabbles ^3^

TAGLIST IS OPEN !

PROFILES. 20th century tears ⋅ frown and drown

PAGE ONE. reply back

PAGE TWO. #What #Kms

PAGE THREE. pretty pls with two cherries on top

#k-labels #k-films #yeonjun #txt #tomorrow x together #yeonjun smau #yeonjun social media au #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun imagines #txt smau #txt social media au #txt socmed au #txt x reader #txt scenarios #txt imagines #txt fake text #kpop #sureogi

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daisymae-12 · 7 months

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Hi Mae! It's nice ask day so I'm here to ask how you came up with the idea to start the @rwrbficrec blog? It's such a great blog and something that's been missing from the fandom for a long time 💖 I was excited to see it when you first popped up!

RAE Thank you so much for this question! ❤️❤️❤️

@rwrbficrecs origin story here we go (spoiler alert: it’s not that exciting of a story 😂)

I kinda had one of those days where I didn’t feel like trawling through AO3 and just wanted to read fics off a rec list and I thought I’d go looking for a rwrb rec blog! Imagine my surprise when I couldn’t find one. I thought for sure someone would have started one already 😬

Anyway I was telling my husband about my failed search and I was jokingly like “haha I should make one”. He was like “yeah why not, it’ll be a good project for you.” and I was like “huh maybe I will then 😂”

I brainstormed for a couple of days and we talked about all the spreadsheets and stuff he could do with his coding. He encouraged me some more 😂 and tbh he was right, I did need a project. I haven’t been able to work for the last two years for health reasons and I’d started feeling a bit adrift. It was the perfect thing for me to focus on, and it was nice to be passionate about something again!

But I was honestly pretty nervous about it. Up until that point I was a lurker in the fandom - I’d been reading rwrb fics for years but I’d spoken to literally nobody in the fandom. I’m a really shy person so I expected to just be quietly making lists and that would be that 😅

But then everyone was so nice and welcoming?! And then things spiralled from there and I’m just amazed that I went from 100% lurking to running a blog + discord community + making actual friends 🥺🥺🥺 Being able to contribute to the fandom in this way has been so lovely 🥺 Life’s wild and I’m so so glad I decided to create the blog ❤️

tl;dr I was looking for a rec blog, couldn’t find one, husband told me I should make it myself 😂

#SORRY I accidentally rambled there #nice ask day #ask box

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mrgaretcarter · 11 months

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TL finale wishes/hopes/dreams

Ted and Keeley have a proper conversation

Return of the Believe sign in some form

Resolution to Biscuits With the Boss

Pub guys and/or Mae get to watch the last match at the dog track

Ted and Rebecca have a good conversation about what they mean to each other

Ted and Rebecca hug

Rupert getting kicked out of the owners box/reference to the darts bet

Bex and Rebecca scene

Keeley finally gets to do the talking when it comes to Roy

The teams reactions to Ted leaving

Scenes around Richmond to get the locals reactions to the game and/victory especially Shannon and wanker guy

Sassy, Nora, Deborah, Julie, Phoebe and Sharon having at least a little cameo each

Rebecca shouting out the window one last time

Some resolution to Beard and Jane

Keeley ends the show in a good place professionally

Final Diamond Dogs meeting with full formation: ted, beard, higgins, nate, trent aaaand roy finally agrees to be part of it and howls with them

We find out things about Trent’s book, what’s the angle, the title, maybe a voiceover, something

I’ll probably think of more in the remaining SIX FREAKING HOURS we still have to go

#ted lasso #i tried to keep them attainable #im not gonna be wishing for ted and rebecca to kiss or for ted to stay thats just not happening #tl ramblings

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sacredechoes · 10 months

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Valentia Side Material and Translations: Resource Masterpost

This post is to organize links to side material for Gaiden/Shadows of Valentia, much of which Sacred Echoes has drawn upon for additional story and characterization details. In the case of translated material, I will link to the main translator's site; if you worked on these translations and have a Tumblr handle you'd like to be credited under as well, please message me and I'll update the post.

Art Book, Valentia Accordion

Includes concept art, full character biographies, and an official timeline. Information here is considered a primary source.

Character bios and concept art translations are hosted on Kantopia's translations blog. Additional translators assisted with individual pages and are credited therein by their Twitter handles.

Lyrics translations of the songs with vocals are available at the above link and were contributed by @mystletainn.

The official timeline was translated by @vincentasm on Serenes Forest.

Drama CD - "Foreign Skies, Daybreak Forest"

Taking place in Act 4 soon after the Deliverance crosses the Rigel border, this drama CD features Alm, Faye, Silque, Tobin, Kliff, Lukas, Forsyth, and Python, as well as three Rigelian characters not used elsewhere. Information here is considered a primary source, and this is the only quasi-official source of information about Alm's mother.

While Clive and Mathilda return to Zofia to quell dissent among the nobility in the wake of Desaix's defeat, the Deliverance are attacked by Rigelian child soldiers armed with cursed weapons. Alm's compassion and sense of justice lead him to try and reach out to these children rather than attack them with military force, and he discovers that they are orphans marginalized by brutal Rigelian customs and being used as pawns by the Duma Faithful. Alm reckons with the reality that Rigelians are not his enemies, but the systemic oppression they face from the empire and death-cult that rules over them, and through his compassion he meets some kindred spirits. Contains some really great characterizations of the Lukas/Python/Forsyth trio as well.

Text translation was done by @garmmy on their translations blog. A subtitled video playlist was created using garmmy's translations with the original audio by @fudgenomnomnom.

Valentia Comic Anthology

Includes over 100 4koma (4-panel, half-page) comics, as well as longer-form one-shots of 8 or more pages. Material here is more akin to fan comics and is thus considered a secondary source.

The 4koma have all been translated and hosted by Kantopia on their blog.

The one-shots are not all in the same place, and not all have been translated yet. Four have been done by @mystletainn a few years ago, while @hypergammaspaces is picking up the remaining chapters:

As Comrades, by Itagaki Hako - TL: mystletainn. Faye resolves to do whatever she can to help carry Alm's burdens, and brings the Ram boys along. Alm proves he loves his friends as much as they love him.

Sweet Delivery, by Watarizora Tsubamemaru - TL: mystletainn. Atlas fails to guard Mae and Leon's fresh-baked cookies, so he, Saber, and Jesse agree to gather the ingredients to replace them.

Fieldwork in Zofia, by Shiroishi Kotoni - TL: mystletainn. Taking place shortly before Act 3, Kliff ventures out to survey the lands north of Zofia Castle and encounters a certain masked knight who has more in common with him than either of them expect.

Only My Big Brother, by Kirai Yuu - TL: mystletainn. Tired of being ignored by Valbar, Leon ropes Kamui into helping him find the perfect boyfriend.

Know Your Enemy and Know Yourself, by Temo Uchida - TL: hypergammaspaces. Lukas and Forsyth try to encourage Kliff to take his combat duties seriously.

Future Wife, by Reku Hayase - TL: hypergammaspaces. Mathilda navigates her thoughts about her future with Clive as she reconciles Clair's expectations of her. Lukas is there too.

Let's Go To Ram Village, by Kazuomi Mochizuki - TL: hypergammaspaces. Translation is in-progress. Clair, having just met the Deliverance, asks to see what life in Ram Village is like, and Alm agrees to show her. Faye isn't too happy about this, but finds common ground with Clair by the end.

There are at least three more chapters yet untranslated which will be linked here as they are completed.

Rise of the Deliverance DLC

This was a set of four story maps set in the year-and-a-half or so before the events of Act 1. Focused around Clive, Fernand, Mathilda, Clair, Lukas, Forsyth, and Python, this added supports and memory prisms between these characters as well as story map dialogue. Scripts, memory prisms, and additional support transcriptions were found on a Serenes Forest forum post by user godzillahomer.

Gaiden manga

One-volume manga by Masaki Sano and Kyo Watanabe, published by Asuka Comics DX. Partial scans have been found on the Fire Emblem (Fandom) Wiki, but no complete scans or translations have been found as of this post. This is the one where Desaix stabs Kliff to death (hence Kliff joking about "maybe we can all get impaled on the same lance" in SoV). Many characters are entirely absent, while both Deen and Sonya appear in Celica's party.

Gaiden novelization

A light novel with a few illustrations throughout. Based heavily on the author's personal playthrough, Silque thus features prominently as she basically hard-carried Alm's party. Neither English FE wiki has a page about this adaptation. I have an acquaintance who owns it but I'm not aware of any full scans/translations available as of this post. This is the one where Kliff and Silque are half-siblings with the same father.

#fire emblem echoes #shadows of valentia #fe15 #fe echoes

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visarcana · 2 months

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Kamakura pt. 3 - Hitomi's commute

I was doing some thinking/researching about where Hitomi lives, thanks to a question by @mirimiramiri. Aaand another portion of my useless ramblings came out of it... well, first of all, I still believe the place where Hitomi lives (Kanzaki family house) and the place where Hitomi's mom hosts Amano and Yukari (and shows them photos of Hitomi's grandma) could be two separate places. I already explained the theory in one of the previous posts.

I'm not exactly convinced but it can be also be argued, and Japanese wikipedia actually said at one point, that Hitomi lives in Fujisawa, which is the neighboring town of Kamakura. The wiki no longer says so btw. and I can't even find it in history so it's possible that edit was eventually marked as vandalism. One possible explanation of the Fujisawa thing is that when Hitomi goes back from school in ep 24, she wanders around town after dark (we see stairs and pedestrian crossing) but these stairs are actually near the station in Fujisawa, not Kamakura.

So that can make it look like only her school is in Kamakura and she goes home every day to Fujisawa (it's not far at all, actually, the green train that is featured in the anime goes only between Kamakura and Fujisawa as a short, local line). She's also alone, and now that I think of it, Yukari is not seen in the scenes with Hitomi waiting at the station in the anime. So it could mean they normally separate somewhere before that and Yukari may not even need to take the train to school like Hitomi does.

Meanwhile, going by the same logic of existing places again, the place where Hitomi's mom meets Hitomi's friends is certainly in Kamakura, because in that scene, we see another existing station that is in the town, the Kita-Kamakura station.

So yeah, if Hitomi actually lived in Fujisawa, this would furthermore support my two houses theory. But there's another catch: after we see Hitomi walking around Fujisawa after dark, we see her on the train (again? or for the first time that evening?), and the direction she's riding seems to be... back to Kamakura. I realize now that she would even pass the station she seems to be waiting at in ep 26, so if we went by the existing stations, it would seem a deliberate detour into the neighboring town, then back to Kamakura, where she lives (after all).

Still, there's something irrational for me there, but I feel when they set the atmosphere with stills before they show the Kanzaki house and the place where Amano and Yukari meet Hitomi's mom, it feels different. I get the impression the Kanzaki house is closer to the shore but the other place is definitely in the area near the station above, in more traditional part of the town and farther away from the sea. Of course, I could be entirely off and Hitomi in fact takes the train from the imaginary mix of Koukou Mae and Hase stations in the south of the city and exits at the station above, Kita-Kamakura or North Kamakura, which is also where mom meets her friends. BUT WAIT, the Kita-Kamakura station is no longer on the same line and she would actually have to transfer from the green train (Enoden) to the regular, Tokyo-bound train (like you see on the cap on the station), even if it's not such a long trip.

AND it wouldn't even make a lot of sense to do all that either, because Hitomi's school is canonically called Kamakura Kita, or Kamakura North. If she actually lived somewhere near the North Kamakura station, she would not walk all the way south to take a train from there, because the school already IS in the north of the town and should be walking distance from her home. Unless she goes south only to see Yukari off, it would be an illogical detour. But we see do her waiting on the station south on the shore, without Yukari. I think that confirms it's part of her regular commute. So yeah, TL; DR I'm sticking to the two houses theory and I actually will make further use of that later in the story.

Anyway, here's the whole recollection of Hitomi's way back from school, at least on the day she first faints on the track (which is one day before "the fateful" one), using what I know from visiting the place and listing the (real locations):

Hitomi and Yukari walk out of their school (Sasuke Inari Shrine)

The two pass the "hair salon" and the church (Kamakuraoncho Church)

The two go down the stairs (Gokurakujizaka Pass)

The two have their talk in the tunnel (Shiyakusho Doori/Ave.)

Hitomi, already alone, wanders around town (Fujisawa station)

Hitomi is on the train (somewhere between Fujisawa and Kamakura)

Hitomi reaches the Kanzaki residence.

In real Kamakura, this actually stops making sense already by the stairs, at least if we consider the scene order as chronologically linear. Because the tunnel is right after the church on the same street and the referenced stairs are in another place totally and don't even lead to anything relevant.

Not to mention, the station Hitomi is seen waiting at in other scenes is also elsewhere and it makes no sense to go to it by the road they're taking. So you cannot retrace a linear route, they are practically teleporting around the town map.

So, the conclusion is, you probably cannot reference Escaflowne's Kamakura to the real place, they just used the "sceneries" and connected them as they liked without much heed to the directional accuracy or logic. They just made their own, imaginary Kamakura, keeping the atmosphere and sights of the actual place, and using the whole Shonan region, not exclusively Kamakura, as a reference. I shouldn't even be surprised, as this is how they deal with real life inspirations all over the anime, why should this be an exception just because it's on Earth? It's intriguing but also great pain to come to any conclusions about this stuff, obscure and tangled as it is. Yet I greatly enjoy the process for some reason.

Anyway, we can at least sort of piece together the idea of Hitomi's route home from school from episodes 1, 24, and 26 (although it seems she may have even taken a little walk/detour in ep 24):

her school is in the suburbs, next to a Shinto shrine

she walks by foot to the town centre/station, together with Yukari, traversing the long, steep stairs and the tunnel

somewhere on the way or maybe in the town centre she separates from Yukari, who either lives walking distance from school or takes another train (possibly from another station?)

she waits alone at the train station in the wider town center

she takes the train home

The reply about Hitomi's house

Kamakura pt. 1

Kamakura pt. 2: Hitomi's home

Kamakura pt. 3: Hitomi's commute (this one)

The Surprising Discoveries

The First Visit

The Whole Pilgrimage

#background notes #ramblings #kamakura #what do we look at next? I'm thinking Cesario/Chezario #cause I found the draft in the drafts...#but sure there are countless other possible research topics

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redphucksaround · 1 year

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You’ve draw NiTW stuff for a long time, but have you ever explained why exactly you like the game?

Well first off, the art style, overall atmosphere and themes of the game are why I jive with it so much. I’m an autumn guy and love woodsy, small town environments, and ofc spooky stuff is rad as hell lol. The vibe of the game is def the biggest draw for me (superficial sure, but I love it)

I love the characters and their dialogue too. The character interactions just feel real, like a convo I’d have with friends. Gregg and Angus’ relationship in particular (refreshingly) isn’t ham-fisted

What stuck tho was the exploration of mental illness in a way you rarely see. I went through a bad space in my early 20’s and Mae’s troubs felt very similar. They managed to convey how hard it is to explain to others what’s going on in you’re head while also helping the player to understand how scary it can be through visuals and sound cues.

TL;DR it’s a pretty looking game with great music and reminds me of my shitty town and my shitty adorable friends

#asks #and chubby cat girl relatable and cute #what can I say lol

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shiningwonderland · 4 months

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Reiji Kotobuki (All Star)

Translator: Belen (twitter: reiharus)

Proofreader: Raine (twitter: amagiyas)

Editors: Mae (twitter: itoshikimaegirl), Noemi (twitter: dreaminbeyond)

Love End — Dekiai Temptation

Kotobuki-senpai sings.

Smiles spread through the audience.

Everyone is charmed by his vivacious, sweet singing.

Female Fan: Rei-chan, you're beautiful!!

Male Fan: You’re awesome! So cool!!

Running from one end of the stage to the other, he responds to the audience’s cheers, egging them on.

His smile dazzles, along with the sweat flying off of him.

Kotobuki-senpai does a final turn and glances at me for a second.

Reiji Kotobuki: I love you!

He blows a kiss and the song ends.

The audience bursts into cheers and applause.

When Kotobuki-senpai returns to the wings, he collapses into my arms, breathing heavily.

I quickly support his body and give him a towel and a drink. He leans against the wall and catches his breath.

Reiji Kotobuki: Haaa…. It’s been a while since I’ve been this serious…. Might have even… gone past my limit….

Haruka Nanami: You did great. It was really lovely. Everyone had so much fun….

Reiji Kotobuki: What about you? Did you have fun too?

Kotobuki-senpai asks with puppy eyes.

Haruka Nanami: Of course I did!!

Reiji Kotobuki: I’m glad…. I was already exhausted before that axle turn with the kiss, but I wanted to give you a present.

He smiles sweetly.

Then, all the performers finish their acts.

I wait for the announcement of the results with Kotobuki-senpai side stage.

For this Song Festival, the final score will be determined by counting up the points given by a special jury along with the audience’s online votes.

When the counting is completed, the president appears on stage with an envelope that contains the name of the winner.

If Senpai’s name isn’t in that envelope, I’ll have to leave the agency.

But….

Reiji Kotobuki: Believe. My name is written on that piece of paper. Rei-chan has the power to see through things, so I know.

He holds my hand softly to encourage me.

Haruka Nanami: Yes.

I nod deeply and look towards the stage.

Then….

Shining Saotome: The first prize of this year’s Shining Song Festival goes to….

From a platform, the president rips open the envelope, then takes out the paper with the name of the winner.

Shining Saotome: The winner is… Reiji Kotobuki!!

Haruka Nanami: We… we did it! We won!! Senpai, congratulations!!

Reiji Kotobuki: Thank goodness…. My feelings and your passionate music were conveyed to everyone.

He goes on stage to accept the trophy.

Shining Saotome: Mr. Kotobuki, congratulations! BUT you did not win this alone; it was thanks to the support of a lot of people as well. Don’t ever forget that! And you will become an even bigger star. Keep working HAAARD!!

Reiji Kotobuki: I’ll be a star that shines brighter than anybody. I’ll be an idol! I’ll continue singing out the sound of love, so please watch over me!

(TL Note: Reiji's choice of words here, "sound of love" (愛の音), are a reference to Aine's name (愛音). Like Reiji explains in chapter 2, Aine's name is written with the kanji of "love" and "sound".)

Saying that, Kotobuki-senpai raises the trophy towards the audience.

At the end of his line of sight… stand Otonami-san and Katagiri-san.

They came after all!

Hearing Kotobuki-senpai’s words, Otonami-san, who previously had his arms folded, raises them high above his head and gives him loud applause.

Then, Katagiri-san also claps with all his might.

Reiji Kotobuki: Everyone…. Really, really…. Thank you so much!!

The cheering starts once again when he bows to the audience.

Ryuya Hyuga: Good job, Nanami, you’ve worked hard.

When I feel someone tap my shoulder lightly, I turn around and see Hyuga-sensei.

Haruka Nanami: Th… thank you very much.

Ryuya Hyuga: You’ve been through a lot. To be honest… I didn’t think you’d make it this far.

Saying that, Hyuga-sensei looks to the stage.

Ryuya Hyuga: It’s the first time I’ve seen him smile like that. You were the one who saved Reiji. Thank you. And congratulations on your debut. Looking forward to working with you from now on too.

Hyuga-sensei pats my shoulder.

Haruka Nanami: Yes, thank you very much. I’ll be in your care.

Then I look at the stage once again.

Senpai has lifted his head and is looking over the audience with a bright smile.

I’m also seeing it for the first time. A smile from the bottom of his heart.

I continue gazing at the smile that shines so bright while basking in the spotlight, enveloped by thunderous applause.

I won the Song Festival and safely made my debut.

A week later, Kotobuki-senpai invites me to go for a drive.

He takes me to the beach that we visited at Christmas.

The cold is milder now, but there’s still nobody on the beach.

I'm standing on the shining, blue beach alone with Senpai.

Reiji Kotobuki: Congratulations!! In celebration of your debut, cheers to your eyes!

Haruka Nanami: Congratulations on your victory too!!

We toast by tapping each other’s juice cans.

This is the sea where Aine-san disappeared….

I wonder if Senpai is thinking about him….

While thinking that, I look up and see Kotobuki-senpai’s profile. He suddenly looks back at me.

Reiji Kotobuki: What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?

Haruka Nanami: No… um….

Reiji Kotobuki: Could it be about… Aine…?

Haruka Nanami: Yes….

When I answer, he turns back to the sea.

Reiji Kotobuki: I gotta tell him I won too. Well, he might’ve watched the TV broadcast somewhere, or that’s what I’d like to think.

He chuckles.

Reiji Kotobuki: And I want to boast about you too. I’d go, “Look, I was able to find such a cute partner. If you’re jealous, then come back.”

Haruka Nanami: Ah….

I look up at him, surprised. He calmly looks back at me.

Reiji Kotobuki: What’s wrong, Kouhai-chan? You look surprised.

Haruka Nanami: Well, you said “partner” ....

Reiji Kotobuki: That’s right, I want you to continue being my partner from now on. Could it be that you want to partner with someone else? Or that you just don’t want to?

Haruka Nanami: N-no way, I could never do something like that!

I shake my head.

Living like this is so dreamlike. Even though I’m happy with my debut, I want to keep on dreaming.

Reiji Kotobuki: Then all’s good, isn’t it? I also have something else I want to tell him…. “I was able to find such a cute girlfriend.”

He whispers in my ear.

Haruka Nanami: That’s….

"Girlfriend". At the sound of that word, my heart beats quickly enough to make me feel dizzy.

Is this really not a dream? I can’t believe it.

Without realizing, I look down... when a beautiful finger suddenly lifts my head.

Reiji Kotobuki: If you didn’t want this… you wouldn’t have turned so red, right? So… it’s okay?

Senpai’s face draws closer as he says that.

He touches my forehead with his and his long eyelashes come in contact with mine.

Haruka Nanami: That….

I’m so happy, but….

Haruka Nanami: But you’re an idol and romantic relationships with idols are forbidden….

Kotobuki-senpai stares at me, unreadable.

Reiji Kotobuki: That’s true, but before I am an idol, I’m a man.

He smiles slightly.

Reiji Kotobuki: So I’ll show you that I’m a man and how much I like you….

Haruka Nanami: S-Senpai….

He slowly splays his hands across my shoulders.

His face comes so close that I can feel the warmth of his cheeks.

Then his lips touch mine, but just at that moment….

Reiji Kotobuki: Eh…?

A droplet falls onto the tip of my nose.

Haruka Nanami: Ah…. It’s raining…!

I look up at the sky. I see it getting darker and heavy rain starts falling.

Reiji Kotobuki: Wah, this is bad…. We’ll get wet. Hurry, come here!!

Haruka Nanami: Oh… right….

As I'm dumbfounded, Senpai takes my hand and we run towards the car.

Reiji Kotobuki: Oh man, it seems like Aine is jealous? Aaah, we’re all soaked.

Already in the car, Kotobuki-senpai sighs. Water drops fall from his hair.

The rain hits the windshield like a waterfall and it doesn’t look like it will stop soon.

Haruka Nanami: Achoo!

Ugh… I must be a bit cold….

Reiji Kotobuki: At this rate, you’ll catch a cold. You need to warm up fast…. Let’s find shelter from the rain.

He starts the engine in a hurry.

The place we head to is….

Haruka Nanami: Whoa… this is incredible….

A hotel suite on the top floor.

You can see the sea from the big window that makes up one of the sides. Some chocolates have been placed on the table to welcome us.

The sideboard is adorned with overflowing flowers.

Reiji Kotobuki: I’m glad, you seem to like the room.

Haruka Nanami: Yes, it’s so gorgeous and big, like in a drama. It’s my first time being somewhere like this.

Reiji Kotobuki: I’m happy I can be with you for that first time. Here, a towel. Ah, or did you want to take a shower?

Senpai brings me a towel from the bathroom before I notice.

Haruka Nanami: That’s… you go ahead. I’m fine with going after you.

Reiji Kotobuki: What are you saying? “Ladies first” for things like this, right? Come here, I’ll wipe your hair.

I feel bewildered as Senpai carefully wipes my hair.

Reiji Kotobuki: Your cheeks are red. Perhaps you have a bit of a fever? I’m worried….

His fingers touch my cheeks as he says that.

Flustered, I quickly pull away to escape him.

Haruka Nanami: I… I’m fine.

I don’t think this fever is because of a cold.

My body burns hotter when I approach him and the heat goes down when I move away from him.

Reiji Kotobuki: Is that so? You should eat something, then. I’ll give this to you.

Saying that, he takes a chocolate from the table and unwraps it.

Reiji Kotobuki: Say “aaah”~

Haruka Nanami: S-Senpai!!

Reiji Kotobuki: Be honest. Do you like me? Do you not like this type of boyfriend?

Haruka Nanami: It’s nothing... like that….

Each word he says feels magical and my heart won’t stop beating.

I feel at a loss staring at him, so I just close my eyes and open my mouth calmly.

Then, when the chocolate touches the edge of my lips, a bittersweet flavor spreads in my mouth.

My senses are probably sharper because I have my eyes closed.

Kotobuki-senpai’s sweet voice and the scent of his cologne that has gotten stronger after getting wet in the rain.

My heart is beating too fast and I start zoning out….

I start losing strength in my knees, so I grab onto Senpai’s shoulders.

Reiji Kotobuki: Oh, are you okay? Lie down for a bit.

Senpai catches my body hurriedly, then lifts me into his arms with ease.

Haruka Nanami: Kotobuki… senpai….

Reiji Kotobuki: It’s Reiji, right? If you get it wrong I’ll have to punish you, Haruka-chan.

He says that gleefully while he carries me to the bed in the back.

I cling to his body tightly from embarrassment.

Before long, he softly lays me on the bed.

It feels very fluffy and my body sinks deep into it.

This is like a dream; it doesn’t feel like real life at all.

I feel like I’m intoxicated by happiness and my mind is absent.

I hear the sound of the bed creaking beside me.

When I look towards it, I see Kotobuki-senpai’s kind smile facing back at me.

Haruka Nanami: Reiji… san….

I mutter and Senpai strokes my cheek.

Reiji Kotobuki: Hey… can we kiss?

His warm cheek touches mine and his sweet voice tickles my ear.

Haruka Nanami: Yes….

As if in a fever dream, I respond and nod. I feel his sweet warmth delicately approaching.

Haruka Nanami: Mm….

Reiji Kotobuki: Mm, ha…. This kiss tastes so sweet…. Like chocolate….

Haruka Nanami: That… mmm….

We kiss once again, deeper than before. I can’t breathe.

Reiji Kotobuki: Mmm, delicious….

While he says that, his lips slide from my ear to my nape.

He strokes me with his fingers as if chasing the trail his lips left, then stops.

Haruka Nanami: Senpai… that’s not good….

He pins me down gently when I try to get up in bewilderment.

Reiji Kotobuki: You don’t really feel that way, right? You came here wearing this.

Senpai’s finger fiddles with my necklace.

The necklace he gave me that day with the key charm.

Haruka Nanami: It’s very important to me….

Reiji Kotobuki: Is it more important than the person who gave it to you? It’s not, right? I won’t forgive you until you say it clearly.

Haruka Nanami: Ah….

Every time the chain moves, it tickles my neck and my body twists on its own.

Reiji Kotobuki: It’s no good that you’ve made me become serious. You went and opened the door to my heart. Are you prepared for something like that?

He captures me with an unusual, bewitching look, and his slick lips kiss the back of my hand.

Reiji Kotobuki: Nobody else has ever been in my heart. I’ll show it only to you…. So, become my special person.

Haruka Nanami: …!!

He kisses my collarbone.

Haruka Nanami: …!!

And his lips touch my ear.

As if prompting me to speak, he excites me more and more.

Reiji Kotobuki: So… will you answer?

Haruka Nanami: I like you… Reiji-san….

His eyes bunch up as he gazes at me while I mutter that.

Senpai’s eyes shine and sparkle.

Reiji Kotobuki: From now on, I want to sing for you. I want to make music with you. I want to see the future with you.

He stares at me with a gentle expression.

My heart beats fast; I can’t say anything….

I can only nod deeply, which makes him narrow his eyes in joy.

Reiji Kotobuki: More than the blue sea and more than sweet chocolate. I like you so much, more than the starry sky.

He gently strokes my lips with his finger.

Reiji Kotobuki: No, those words are not enough. You’re the person I like the most in the whole world….

Haruka Nanami: Me too…. I like you so much….

When I say that and stretch out my hand, he holds it tight and intertwines his fingers with mine.

Reiji Kotobuki: Do you want me to show you how serious I am?

Haruka Nanami: … Yes.

Senpai’s smile is filled with happiness, more than anybody else’s.

Reiji Kotobuki: I love you, my girl.

He whispers in my ear, then climbs over me and we move into a deep, deep kiss once more.

Thus, I become a regular composer affiliated with the agency and my busy days as Kotobuki-senpai’s partner begin as well.

The drama he was to star in, “Midnight Agent,” also makes a comeback thanks to Katagiri-san’s efforts.

They’re cooperating with Otonami-san to make the background music as well.

Kotobuki…. No, Reiji-senpai’s character, the host and detective “Reiji,” becomes extremely popular and the drama is decided to launch in a prime time slot.

Our song is a big, record-breaking hit as the opening of the show.

For a while, even if we do see each other at work, we don’t have much time to be alone and relax together.

We both have the day off today, so we decide to go on our first date as a couple, which is a drive in Senpai’s car.

Before we started dating, he drove me around many times.

But sitting in the passenger seat as his girlfriend feels thrilling.

Since we haven’t seen each other in a while, there are a lot of things we want to say and we never stop talking.

About music, the past, the future, and also silly, everyday things….

I have so much fun talking that I’m overflowing with smiles.

And I’m glad to see Senpai laughing happily as well.

Reiji Kotobuki: And like, Ryuya-senpai doesn’t know how to read the atmosphere. The man is stupidly serious. It was super weird, ahahaha!

Haruka Nanami: Hehe.

Reiji Kotobuki: What’s that? You look so happy. Did something good happen recently? There are no secrets between lovers.

Haruka Nanami: Well… I was just thinking about how much I love it when you laugh…. You look so happy.

Senpai smiles even more when he hears me say that.

Reiji Kotobuki: Then I’ll let you listen to something you like even more than that.

Senpai sings our song a capella.

No matter where it resounds, his voice changes everything in the world to music….

The sound of the waves that can be heard from the window, and the sound of the engine of the car….

Not only that—the shining waves, the blue sky, and the white clouds.... Everything seems like music.

I want to keep turning everything in the world into music like this with him.

As long as we’re together, we can make it happen.

I believe that from the bottom of my heart.

And then, when I look up at the sky….

Haruka Nanami: Wah…. A rainbow!

A beautiful, seven-colored rainbow appears.

Reiji Kotobuki: Say, Kouhai-chan, do you know the words “No rain, no rainbow”?

Senpai asks while driving.

Haruka Nanami: No rain, no rainbow?

Reiji Kotobuki: Yes. Without rain, you can’t see the rainbow. Without pain, there’s no joy.

Senpai looks at the rainbow across the windshield.

Reiji Kotobuki: So it means that we can’t give up.

He gives me a sidelong glance and smiles sweetly.

Reiji Kotobuki: Even if I haven’t forgotten in ten years, that doesn’t mean I can’t forget in eleven years. Someone may appear tomorrow to save me. And the day after that, I might meet someone who loves me. Because I believed in that, I met you. That’s what I think now.

While saying that, Senpai gazes at the rainbow dazzlingly.

Reiji Kotobuki: So, when we face hardship or trouble, let’s overcome it together!! And let’s run towards the future together!! Haruka-chan.

Haruka Nanami: Yes!!

Then, we follow after the shiny, seven-colored rainbow.

We’ll continue running in the ever-sparkling light no matter where we go.

Aiming for the future!

Reiji All Star Route End

MESSAGE FROM REIJI

It's Reiji, your first lover! I wonder if you're happy to get this first message~? At my age I don't get many "firsts" anymore, but being with you has given me lots of them, that makes me so happy. I want to be... your No.1 forever ☆ - Reiji

#reiji kotobuki #all star #all star reiji

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gregrulzok · 1 month

Note

Hello...Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Hi !!

I wouldn't say I necessarily have a straightforward top 10 list as such ... But I'm not one to pass up and opportunity to infodump on anyone who'll indulge me !

I hope this is what you're looking for and, uh, buckle up. I'll include a TL;DR with each character to make your life easier, because knowing me, this is gonna get LONG.

Also potential spoilers for: Dungeon Meshi, Night in the Woods, Berserk, Devilman Crybaby, Arcane, Jujutsu Kaisen, Dimension 20: Fantasy High, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind.

Also note that Berserk and Devilman Crybaby are both NSFW sources. I don't mention anything explicit here, but be mindful when looking into it.

Laios Touden (Dungeon Meshi)

TL;DR: Excellent neurodivergent representation, complex and unique in how interesting he is, also just me IRL

I'll be honest in saying he isn't actually my favourite Dungeon Meshi character (that's probably Chilchuck), but he IS the one I think about the most.

I'm firmly of the opinion that Laios is intentionally written to be neurodivergent-coded, and I say this because he's incredibly nuanced and interesting in the way he portrays symptoms and signs of autism. Most canon autistic representation I see can be boiled down to "slightly quirky" with a dash of the same 3 symptoms, and the background of that, Laios is a breath of fresh air. He's socially inept, but not at all cold or inexpressive - quite the opposite, he's open and enthusiastic and optimistic. He's obsessive, not in a quirky jokey way, nor in the way of being a savant that knows everything off the top of his head - he genuinely feels like he's learning about his interest and ENJOYS learning about it, rather than being robotic in his hyperfixation. On top of that, the thing he's hyperfixated on is EXTREMELY realistic for a neurodivergent person - many of us do find interest in animals, in cryptids, in other living beings that are, well, other, because we spend our whole lives being alienated and separate from our peers and we seek that comfort in other places. Monsters are straightforward, they don't play mindgames. They are powerful, they don't let others push them around (Laios, mind, is also powerful - but he's a human, so his strength alone has never been enough to protect him). And after all, humans already hate him, they already treat him as an unwanted freak. Why shouldn't he find solace in creatures that are treated the same way he is?

I could go on and on about how amazing he is, but honestly a lot of what I have to say could be posts of their own and we'd be here all day. I'll say also that he's just ... Plain and honest relatable. I have not projected so hard onto a character in a long time.

Angus DeLaney (Night in the Woods)

TL;DR: Comfort Character Extraordinare

If Laios is good to my brain because he reminds me of myself, Angus is good to my brain because he reminds me of my boyfriend. This, I cannot deny.

He isn't the most complex character in the world, nor even in NitW - yet I think there's more to him than people give him credit for. I think he's excellent in filling the role he's given - a friend-of-a-friend, a near-stranger, the person in the friend group our protagonist is in, someone she knows, and yet doesn't, likes, and yet doesn't really vibe with. He's nuanced and deep, has a life of his own, and honestly I'm almost glad they didn't explore it fully. By having Mae only get a tiny glimpse into his life, after knowing him for so long and yet never really spending time with him, we get the sense that people are people whether or not they're in Mae's life. It gives a greater sense of depth to the world offered to us by the game. Mae's close friends she knows well aren't the only ones going through tough things, everyone has their own story, and sometimes she only gets a tiny hint of that, and sometimes she gets none at all. I think it's very true to life, and very smart.

As for Angus specifically, well. He's smart, warm, kind. He doesn't let his cynicism get in the way of his friends fun, nor does he let it stop him from taking their worries seriously. He shows affection through cooking, he makes dumb nerdy jokes, he's canonically more charismatic than you'd think, he wants to take care of everyone and doesn't know how to take care of himself, and he has a fantastic ass.

He reminds me of my boyfriend. What more can I ask for.

Griffith (Berserk) & Ryo Asuka (Devilman Crybaby)

TL;DR: Incredibly nuanced villains that I want to put on a little dish and dissect. Themes of light and purity as something evil, of good intentions (Griffith) and love (Ryo) as something horrifying.

I figure I could just combine these two, given how much they've impacted each-other's writing.

Griffith AND Ryo are both infinitely nuanced characters, in ways that are complimentary and yet still different enough.

I've made a few posts about Griffith (if only because I recently finished Berserk), and my opinion on him can be summarised as such: I think he's the best villain in fiction, in that he is afforded nuance and complexity, without having to take away his teeth and make him ultimately pathetic, unintimidating, or a sexyman. I think the most interesting part of Griffith is his politics, his drive to change the world, his willingness to sacrifice everything to the greater good to the point where it becomes apocalyptic. It's fascinating to watch a character be so wrapped in genuine and honest good intentions, to the point of destroying everything.

I don't think I've talked much about Ryo (I should rewatch Crybaby), which is really a shame because he's no less interesting. He takes an aspect of Griffith that I haven't talked much about (rather, Griffith takes an aspect of Ryo) - obsessive love and devotion to the point of destruction - and amps it up to an infinite degree. Unlike Griffith, who pushes aside his love for his political motivation, Ryo destroys everything and anything in his path to the one he loves - including that very person. He's possessive and obsessive, in a way that does end up feeling genuine, and his entire humanity is concentrated on his feelings to this one person.

Together, these characters represent a trope that I personally love - purity, beauty and light as something evil, something vile, something overwhelming and possessive (as contrasted by something dirty, something crude, something rough being real and human and kind).

I just find them fascinating.

Ekko (Arcane)

TL;DR: mmmm community centric anarchist punk king.

This is possibly the most self indulgent one. Arcane is a wonderful show entirely full of fascinating characters I love, and each one of them deserves an amount of words that even I don't possess to describe their greatness.

Ekko is no less cool and interesting for having less screen time, but if we're just being honest here for a second ...

I just love his vibe.

I love that he was a rowdy, shitty little kid that antagonised everyone he could. I love that as he grew, he got more serious, took on an air of responsibility, but he didn't lose his friendliness, his humour, his artistry. I love that he prioritizes fun and growth and community, not just survival. I love that he has authority as a leader, not through fear but through confidence, through respect. I love his scene with Vi, where he bites back at her for the first time, I love their hug, I love their bond. I love his fight with Jinx, I love that for a moment they're just kids playing a game, I love seeing the reality crash over him like a wave. I love the little tidbits we get of him as a kid, playing dumb pranks, practicing his punches.

And to be completely clear: HE IS THE ONLY CHARACTER THAT WAS CORRECT.

Heimerdinger, Jayce, Silco, Vander, Mel, every single leader in this show is either too preoccupied trying to preserve broken pieces of the past or they're speeding towards a future they don't understand.

Ekko says NONE OF THAT SHIT, takes up the punk anarchist mantel, and says "I am going to take care of the injured, the indisposed, the homeless, the sick, the children, because blind ideals mean nothing in the face of real poverty and struggle".

...Which is why I say it's self indulgent on my part. It's just because I fully agree with his ideologies.

Geto Suguru (Jujutsu Kaisen)

TL;DR: Another villain I absolutely love analyzing and dissecting. Beautifully written ideology and motivation that is fully understandable even if it's something any sane human would viscerally disagree with.

I've written post upon post on Geto, so I won't get too into it, but I still wanted to mention him. Another reason I won't talk too much here is because I've ultimately fallen out of love with JJK - sad, but true. In my opinion, the most interesting part of the show was, in fact, Geto.

Geto's ideology is incredibly well written. So, so many little details end up playing into it, it's set up so carefully and expertly that in the end it's incredibly easy to see how he ended up in the place he did. The death of his friends, the responsibility of Mimiko and Nanako, the way he's treated, the way his best friend is treated... Some of these things are big, some more subtle, but they all lay a brick in the foundation of one of the best villain arcs I can name. And if you can't tell, I'm a big fan of villains that genuinely believe what they preach. There's an air of sincerity about him, despite being a manipulative asshole, he isn't a selfish one.

I just think he's fascinating.

Fabian Aramais Seacaster (Dimension 20: Fantasy High)

TL;DR: Incredibly entertaining, and has informed the way I play my TTRPG characters.

A bit of a random one, and a more light-hearted one - I just love this silly little man.

Fabian is so unabashedly loud, silly, over the top. He makes such obvious, catastrophic mistakes, often after delivering such confident speeches about how awesome he is. And then he's allowed to have quiet moments - he can be somber, soft, sad, tragic. He loves his friends, but he can't bring himself to be obvious about it, but he wants so badly to express it. He has repressed trauma that we don't really get told - instead it's expressed through every desperate cry for attention and every subsequent moment of quiet reflection.

I've been playing TTRPGs for a little while now, but Fabian has fundamentally inspired me to be more confident, more nuanced, to take up more space at my table, and to not be scared to change the way my characters act based on the scene and mood and circumstance.

I just think he's neat !

Panacotta Fugo (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind + Purple Haze Feedback)

TL;DR: An underrated character that showcases burnout, gifted kid syndrome, and abandonment issues in a way I find particularly painful.

God. Where do I even start.

Fugo speaks very deeply to some of my own trauma. The gutteral, albeit brief depiction of gifted child syndrome and the subsequent burnout that follows it felt incredibly, palpably real not only in the episodes we see his backstory in, but also in his general behaviour. In the way he still tries to act proper and composed, in the barely-restrained rage that bubbles over once in a while, in the severe guilt felt through these outbursts. Pretty much any time Fugo is on screen is a testament to his pain and his sheer desire to overcome it, which (as amazing this show is) I can't exactly say for most JJBA characters.

The abandonment issues are more personal to me than I'd like to get too deeply into - suffice it to say, being left behind without a thought, looking at people you came to think of as your family turn their backs on you and walk away, and realising for the first time that you weren't, in fact, a needed and cherished presence in their lives, but rather something easily parted with ... That shit hurts, and it hurts me very personally.

Araki has gone on record stating that he fell in love with Fugo as a character and came to see him as a personal friend. I believe him, if the genuine and subtle care poured into every crevice of his character is anything to go by.

Purple Haze Feedback isn't canon, but it is Araki-approved, and its the exact amount and type of Fugo content I was starving for after his extremely undercut role in part 5.

And I think that's it!

Was that 10? Who knows.

Either way sorry if this isn't what you were looking for - i think one look at my blog will tell you that I'm very prone to infodumping especially as it pertains to character analysis.

And if you read it this far... Holy shit, thank you !!

To be honest as I've fallen out of fandom spaces it's become incredibly hard to come up with characters I actually like, rather than ones I've projected my own stories onto and changed fundamentally.

Playing DND has NOT been helpful, it's increasingly difficult not to spend four hours talking about a PC I made that I really love instead of any actual character haha.

Either way thank you for the ask !! Like I said I love a good opportunity to infodump.

#laios touden #dungeon meshi #angus delaney #night in the woods #griffith #berserk #ryo asuka #devilman crybaby #ekko #arcane #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen #fabian seacaster #fantasy high #panacotta fugo #jjba gold experience

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