#m4-rt1n
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Eventually realized I could cough in Morse code yesterday, so I wheezed out some SOSs until a passing R5 unit answered my call and dragged me the rest of the way to medbay.
Am currently under the influence of a looooooooot of allergy medication. Can't operate heavy machinery, so Hux approved a sick day.
My bestest friend, M4-RT1N, is currently cleaning the cat hair from my quarters while I lie in a medbay bed doped up on antihistamines and hallucinating the ghostly form of a bearded man who stands in the corner drinking green milk and ranting about his "idiot nephew".
I hate this. It's almost enough to make me want to go back to work.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#general hux#M4-RT1N#allergies#medbay#antihistamines#luke skywalker#force ghost#kylo ren#green milk#morse code
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Well. Deej, M4-RT1N, and Mitaka are some of the few people on the Finalizer who haven't made fun of me for getting in the Life Day spirit "way too early", so I told Deej I was thinking of inviting her and the boys to my quarters next weekend for a Life Day holovid marathon.
She was up for it, but said I should probably pick a different venue.
I was like, "Why? My quarters are nice."
She was like, "Yeah, but your 'quarters' are literally a repurposed hazardous chemicals closet, so the place is small to begin with. Might not fit all of us. Especially with K8-T3, Gary, that droideka, and your pet birds hanging around. Not to mention all your Life Day decorations. They take up a lot of space."
"So," I clarified, "What you're saying is we should find a bigger place, because my quarters could get pretty cramped with
馃幎4 Grown adults,
3 Big droids,
2 Little porgs
With their nest in a big Life Day treeeeeee馃幎"
The good news is, she didn't break up with me after that. The bad news is I need to find a bigger place on this ship where I can hang out with my friends.
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#m4-rt1n#lieutenant mitaka#dg-1994#K8-T3#gary the mouse droid#porgs#droids#life day#the 12 days of life day#finalizer
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A second open letter to the troopers from yesterday:
Yes, I sent K8-T3 to babysit you.
M4-RT1N told me one of his crew came to collect your garbage and he saw you trying to make s'mores over a trash can fire.
Obviously you can't be left unsupervised until I'm able to fulfill your service request, so maybe you'll be less likely to burn down your bunk with Katie's glowing, judgemental eyes on you at all times.
As you know, Katie isn't wearing a restraining bolt, so please try to be on your best behavior.
Cheers,
ST-3V3
#st-3v3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#k8-t3#M4-RT1N#open letter#fire#s'mores#restraining bolt
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For anyone wondering about the red splatters on the break room counter: I promise it's not blood. I was trying to make Kool-aid and things. . . got out of hand.
I have learned the hard way that mixing it up manually may take slightly longer, but attaching the stirring spoon to a power drill isn't any quicker when you figure in the additional cleanup time needed after it splashes everywhere.
I'm gonna clean it up as soon as I find a towel.
Don't tell M4-RT1N.
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Finally discovered the source of the weird noises.
I learned that Lieutenant Mitaka just saw Stomp for the first time, and decided to have a go at practicing his own version in an empty conference room.
That explains the dents and scrapes on most of the metal surfaces, as well as why M4-RT1N's push brooms keep disappearing.
I need to find that man a hobby that doesn't include hitting things with other things.
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Ben Solo saw all the burnt crumbs in his rug and asked what in the hell I'd been up to (Why does he always assume it's me? I mean, he was right. But still.).
Anyway, I panicked and told him that I'd found some ashes from his granddad's funeral pyre on eBay and decided to get them for him as a gift. Unfortunately, while trying to deliver them to his quarters, I tripped on his rug and spilled them everywhere. I was so embarrassed from having ruined his gift that I just ran away and hoped he wouldn't notice.
He tried telling me that he appreciated the effort, but he didn't idolize Darth Vader the way he used to in life, so I shouldn't worry about it.
He can say that all he wants, but I was later told that when one of M4-RT1N's cleaning crew came to vacuum the rug, he insisted on keeping the contents of the bag.
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Had a meeting in Hux's office today. The little zen garden I made him from the tatooine sand in my luggage was still on his desk, but it was just an empty box.
I asked him what happened to the sand. He was like, "I had M4-RT1N vacuum it up."
"But it's a zen garden. The sand is the whole point."
"I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not keeping loose sand on my desk."
"But playing with it is supposed to help you relieve stress or something."
"Dirt in my office makes me stressed, ST-3V3. The box is practical, though. I'm keeping that. I can put things in it when I'm organizing."
Welp. He vacuumed up half my gift, but he also used the words "appreciate the sentiment" in a sentence. Still not sure if I'm terrible at giving Hux gifts or amazing at it.
#ST-3V3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#general hux#M4-RT1N#sand#tatooine#vacuum#zen garden#stress#gifts
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Finally took care of the glitter.
I couldn't get rid of it all, so I gave up and just painted over the floor. Out of sight, out of mind, you know?
It was just much easier, especially with the mouse droids helping.
M4-RT1N says I cheated and that painting floors is weird. At least, I think that's what he says. I can't hear him over the sound of how brilliant I am.
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Have been notified by one of my students (who happens to be the child of the local Fish and Game Warden), that modifying the local wildlife outside of medically necessary circumstances is, in fact, a fineable offense.
Boo.
And I still can't find any First Order test subjects patients, since the combat troopers don't really sustain as many injuries now that we don't engage in so much actual combat anymore.
I guess we'll have to move on to another lesson for the time being and come back to this one when the chance arises. Until then, I heard M4-RT1N say he was about to mop and wax the floors in the armory. Maybe if I wait long enough, someone will slip and fall onto something sharp.
#ST-3V3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#M4-RT1N#fish and game#armory#engineers#prosthetics#first order
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Thought about trying ventriloquism for the talent show, since I could make a pretty sweet dummy out of a small droid.
But when I tried out my act for M4-RT1N, he said that throwing one's voice isn't nearly as impressive when the ventriloquist is wearing a helmet the whole time.
Sigh.
Some day I shall find my hidden talent.
#ST-3V3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#M4-RT1N#talent show#droids#ventriloquism#helmet#hidden talent
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M4-RT1N told me he got to work on the bridge today.
The pilots seemed to think something was wrong with the navigation systems, since no matter which direction they told the ship to turn, the same star always appeared just to our left when looking at our viewport. The programmers were stumped. Couldn't find anything wrong with the system.
After much research and testing, it was discovered that the "star" was actually a fingerprint someone had left on the transparisteel.
About ten minutes and some Windex later, M4-RT1N had us back on course. Sometimes I don't know how this place functions without him.
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It's almost Life Day!
Gonna spend the next few days having quality time with friends and family.
Which is basically Deej, M4-RT1N, H4-GR1D, Mitaka, Cookie, AR-T13, and, like, twenty-seven droids. Also might visit Hux and Captain Phasma, if they're not too busy.
I may or may not post regularly during this time. Depends on how much eggnog I get into during this weekend's dinner parties. I can't get enough of the stuff.
We don't make the alcoholic kind, but I'm lactose intolerant and we don't get great HoloNet reception in the refreshers.
#ST-3V3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#General Hux#Captain Phasma#Lieutenant Mitaka#H4-GR1D#DG-1994#AR-T13 the armorer#M4-RT1N#Cookie#droids#life day#eggnog#lactose#holonet#see you soon
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Asked the First Order Finance Department about allowing Cookie to have a larger grocery budget so we can all eat better.
They said I had to complete and turn in a proper request form and it would be reviewed, so I grabbed some forms for me and a few others to fill out.
In the box that asked for a "Reason for Budget Increase Request," I wrote down that I would like to have a better source of fiber than the paper napkins that the cutlery comes wrapped in.
M4-RT1N just stapled a serving of this morning's breakfast grits to the form.
#ST-3V3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#first order#M4-RT1N#finance department#form#Cookie#budget
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Cookie brought me a quiche this afternoon that he made with some of the ingredients he bought yesterday and...it was amazing? Like, some of the best food I've ever put in my mouth.
I wanted to scarf down the whole thing, but I saved a bunch so I could share it with Deej and M4-RT1N and a few others. I needed WITNESSES.
I think what I've learned today is that Cookie has been doing a really amazing job all these years keeping us all alive and fed with the craptacular ingredients supplied to him by the First Order. Like, think of how much worse it could have been if he was legitimately bad.
#ST-3V3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormtrooper#cookie#DG-1994#M4-RT1N#farmer's market#quiche#skill#first order
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H4-GR1D's snake is still missing.
We thought we had a lead today when someone on M4-RT1N's team heard a hissing sound coming from Hux's office, but it was just Millicent hissing angrily at an air vent in the wall.
Cats are weird, am I ri...
Wait.
Shit.
#ST-3V3#star wars#sequel trilogy#stormrtooper#General Hux#millicent the cat#m4-rt1n#snake#air vent#oops#armitage hux academy for aspiring troopers
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Feeling a bit better today.
Had to do some repair work on the outside of the school building, so I kept my helmet on this time. Good thing, too, because nature is in full bloom out here, and by the time I was finished, my armor was plumb yellow from all the pollen. The filters on our helmets aren't amazing, but they keep that out, at least.
M4-RT1N and his squad are out here pressure washing the building today. Maybe I can convince one of them to hose me down before I track this mess inside.
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