#look! I know I'm awful! I know I'm probably just a lazy bitch! but I couldn't fucking do any more!
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#had more to say about that last post#like. they (my in-laws) haven't once mentioned the fact that I finally finally finally had my last exam and passed and will be getting my#degree now#we told them. they were just like 'oh okay what profession does that make you now?' I have a bachelor's degree in business administration..#it's not like. oh you're an electrician now. or something. they know this. we have told them many times#they didn't congratulate me. they weren't understanding about how hard the last couple months have been (with my thesis and the exam WHILE#finding an apartment and then preparing to move out and then actually doing that)#no all I got was judgmental comments because I didn't have everything ready and packed when we were moving out#look! I know I'm awful! I know I'm probably just a lazy bitch! but I couldn't fucking do any more!#I'm tired all day every day. I can't move around much before I feel so exhausted and dizzy that I have to stop.#I feel like absolute shit for not getting everything done!#but yes sure just keep telling me that. maybe that'll make my body get better just because it makes me feel bad :)#literally their view on everything is basically 'just do it. and do it correctly. the exact same way we would do it.'#like. oh yeah everything is just that easy! and if you don't do it all perfectly you're trash. you're disgusting. you're LAZY and that's#awful#the only thing that matters in life is your job. it has to be your whole life and your entire personality and the only thing you are proud#of. you are alive to work. the only thing that matters is how your employer feels about you.#it's fucking exhausting.#I know what they think about me. I know they think I'm bad. like these people have known me for ten years. they have seen that I've#struggled with a bunch of different physical health issues. and it just does not matter! I'm just supposed to do everything anyway!#literally every time it comes up they're like 'why can't you do this thing that requires a lot of hand strength?' hello? my hands have been#fucked up for like 12 years. you know this.#so have my feet. no I'm not going for a fucking one hour walk with you guys. yes obviously I can walk that long. no I'm not gonna do it!#it HURTS. I have to carefully weigh it up and decide if it's worth being in pain for at least the next day!#but no there's absolutely no compassion or understanding. just contempt. they don't hide it at all#I'm so tired of this family#honestly? if my husband had a different (nice. warm. kind) family I would probably feel differently about him. though he'd also be#completely different then. his parents are the opposite of mine but they still fucked him up so bad.#anyway I'm done complaining for now. because I'm tired & I'll probably fall asleep again soon.#I really really hate my life tbh
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Propaganda why Anakin Skywalker is insufferable:
It's less about his character and more about the way ppl talk about him and narrative around him in a lot of current stuff. The way everyone try to bend over backwards to prove how his reasons to turn Darth Vader were somehow noble or good when almost every single bad guy in Star Wars (expect Palpatine and that guy who taught him) have much more sympathetic history and reasons and how he's not a bad person bc he cried a few times while doing atrocities. And how everyone else gets the blame for all his shortcomings ('they did it but never taught him!!!' -he literally parrotos this same lessons to his own student, it's obvious he knows better but chooses to not apply to himself anything that is slightly uncomfortable to him). Like, I love characters being genuinely not good people as much as a next guy but let's not pretend they're good people actually
the guy has zero critical thinking skills, he whines about everything all the time. I love him, but he’s awful to listen to. THIS BITCH. I HATE HIM. NO CRITICAL THINKING. NO SELF AWARENESS. WHINY MURDEROUS ASSHOLE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. He's a JEDI. LIKE. THEY HAVE HISTORY CLASSES!!!! He should have KNOWNNNNNN that when he had prophetic dreams they're not necessarily true!!!!! Also like. In the Star Wars universe, do Jedi just not have imaginations that can create NORMAL dreams when they sleep??? Do Jedi just not usually dream??? If he hadn't gotten paranoid from the dreams of Padme dying in childbirth
BILLIONS OF LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN SAVED. FOR THAT MATTER, if you're gonna have A SUPER ILLEGAL SUPER SECRET MARRIAGE, wouldn't you, I don't know, USE PROTECTION SO THAT YOUR WIFE WHO IS SECRETLY AND ILLEGALLY MARRIED DOESN'T GET PREGANANANT????? LIKE LOOK I LOVE LUKE AND LEIA MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF BUT THEIR PARENTS WERE SO FUCKING STUPID. ANAKIN SKYWALKER HATES CONDOMS BECAUSE THEY DONT FEEL AS GOOD I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. Man is an IDIOT. How can you have had a role model and father figure like Obi-Wan for most of your fucking life and grow up to do the shitty, STUPID things Anakin did. Ok this is way too long I'm sorry but I love Obi-Wan so much and Anakin ruined his fucking life and hes just such a little DICK. MURDERED A WHOLE VILLAGE OF SAND PEOPLE. AND DOZENS IF NOT HUNDREDS OF CHILDRENNNNNNNN. ANGSTY WHINY TEENAGER. FUCK HIMMMMMMM
Yes he was probably directed to act that way but the way his lines were written did not help
Propaganda why Tim Jackson Drake is insufferable:
oh man. i've had enough of this duckboy (as the protag, he's tolerable in yj and stuff.) like when tim is the protag every character in the story becomes Worse. lady shiva gets nerfed. steph is turned into jealous hormonal catfight girl. helena is dumbified and too womanly to function (they have a nice dynamic as long as tim isn't the protag). cassie and tim were great in yj98, but as soon as he is The Protag then she is his best friend's girlfriend and they're barely friends anymore. cass is turned into a rapist. dick is turned into a lazy mediocre robin. jason turns into fucky wucky dumb brute yaoi stalker boyfriend who is suddenly obsessed with tim's awesome skills. 10 y.o. damian somehow deserves to be put on a hitlist because he's a savage and tim is civilized. Sometimes the story is bogged own with tim's internal or external lectures about their flaws and how they need to be better (better like him), except for dick HMMMM wonder why that is. probbly wouldn't be so bothered if tim wasn't crammed into the spotlight of every crossover in the 90s and early 00s and then so much of dc and the fandom wave it around as the peak era of comicbooks. like im sorry. he is not a relatable protag. like the editors literally told newspapers that he was created for gen x white dudes who blow their money on comics and merch, the info is on wikipedia.
White twink rich boy who always has to be smartest bestest boy even when he is a part of a whole group of smartest bestest ppl (aka bat family as a whole, like he's literally THE Mary sue of a group of Mary sues) at expense of literally everyone else
His definitive writer is a conservative Republican. His series is full of moral PSAs, *dumb* *hormonal* girls getting into catfights over him, and blatant sexism and racism. He gives anti-marijuana speeches to a standing ovation, he lectures about how babies need a father and a mother, and sex is for marriage. Other characters suddenly become stupid around him so that he looks smart. The other characters talk about how he is the best, nicest, smartest Robin ever and ALL the others were dumber and meaner than he is, even the one that mentored him. He as a grown adult man is canonically still bitter about ""his"" child sidekick role being given to an actual child (fans pretend he is the victim of this on both sides—nope he's the adult fighting a child for the child sidekick role, no adult wanted to replace him). Did I mention that this character is the amazing pure white boy, and his 10-year-old successor is painted as a savage Arab terrorist who needs to be put in his place? T*m is a 5'9""+ adult grown man, not a delicate sensitive baby boy.
#anakin skywalker#star wars#tim drake#dc comics#insufferable protagonist poll#insufferable protagonist tournament#tournament poll
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Ok it's loki season 2 finale rant time bitches
!¡ SPOILERS and crying ¡!
Ok so first, omfg its a tree
With fruit! Or sparkly whatever things. Doesn't matter. I could be thinking too much (I am) but I think it's kinda of cute to think about how loki takes all these lives and choices and worlds and helps them grow into a beautiful living force of nature. One that creates life and great things all on its own. This contrasts the whole loom idea. The loom takes all these lives and choices and worlds, chooses the ones it wants, and weaves them into a single, artificial, "perfect" thread. It's like nature vs. industry kind of.
Second, AAAAAAAA LOKIUS
The way mobius' ending line echoed and it zoomed in on loki's face is my new roman empire. Also the way mobius turned New York alien invasion loki into self-sacrificing, god of stories loki is crazy. Ship them or not that's amazing. They are besties and also definitely in love (imo) your honor. Back to the original train of thought. I would assume loki can see/hear into timelines to a certain degree. Which means he could be watching mobius from afar which is enough to make the tears start. And does mobius know this? Is that why he waits there a little longer? I can see him sitting in a room alone talking to loki and just hoping loki can hear him. And maybe loki responds despite knowing no one can hear him 😭 cryimg. Maybe they don't even speak they just sit there knowing the other is thinking about them. It's so tragically cruel that just as loki realizes that what he really wants is his friends back and to not be alone, he loses his friends and becomes alone forever. He finally gets his throne. Which is another thing. I might be wrong but I think I remember loki talking about how he never wanted the throne of asgard he just wanted his father's love and stuff like that (idr what movie) which is even more painful. He chased a throne he didn't want his whole life in an attempt to gain other things. When he realizes he has what he wants he loses it. Similar to how in ragnarok thor tells him he was always loved, loki just didn't realize. And how thor says loki could've been more if he just let himself be more. And mobius told loki (who didn't get to ragnarok) he could be someone good. Loki finally finds the truth in these things, he can be good, but he loses everything he really wanted in return.
We arrive at three, mobius leaves the TVA
This scene hurts too. Mobius says he belongs at the TVA and he likes it there. And honestly, I (because as not him I am oh so qualified here (sarcastic)) agree. I can't see him living the life he has on the timeline. I can see him settling down but idk something feels off (it's not with loki /hj). After loki leaves he looks absolutely miserable at the TVA though. Mobius lost his purpose when loki found his </3 and now the only thing he can do is try to live some semblance of a life. Loki lost his best friend but so did mobius. And now he has to leave his life's work and try to live like a normal person who hasn't had their world ripped away from them. Me personally, I would feel hopeless.
Oh and fourth, where the fUck is he
It was probably said at some point but I don't remember, I'm too lazy to look, and I don't actually need an answer. But what kind of messed up outer space dimension are they in? Where is the TVA? Can't be in space because then someone would conquer them. And where did loki go? He ripped open space and now he has a chair somewhere. Speaking of which. My man has a chair. Just a chair. A rock chair. Barely a throne. Ignoring all the awful stuff I just spent ages typing that's a pretty awful way to spend the rest of time. Speaking of which part 2. Is loki immortal now? Because last I checked he had a lifespan of 5000 which is not "for the rest of time" sooo?
I'll probably think of more I wanted to say but hopefully I got most of it. Just needed that out of my brain it was and still will take up too much space.
#My friends arent marvel nerds :(((#loki series#loki spoilers#lokius#loki season 2#mobius#thoughts#my roman empire#ramblings
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More Most Wanted Incorrect Quotes
Karai: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
April: I wrote you a poem.
Karai, already crying: You did?
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Casey: We have a problem.
Raph: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
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Karai: Who's in charge here?
Raph, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.
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Casey: I’m so tired.
Donnie: Did you get to bed late?
Casey: No.
Donnie: Did you do something strenuous?
Casey: No.
Donnie: Then why are you tired?
Casey: I’m alive.
Donnie: Sounds exhausting.
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Draxum: Don’t worry, I have a permit.
Mikey: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.
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Draxum: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-
Draxum: *sees Donnie shoving Leo into the washing machine while Raph records and Mikey watches*
Draxum: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.
--
Leo: Are we really going to let Raph keep Casey?
Splinter: We kept April.
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Karai: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.
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Splinter: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?
Mikey: Raph, probably.
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Karai: Please pray for Leo.
Casey: What happened to them?
Karai: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.
--
Mikey: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.
Splinter: Mikey, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.
Mikey: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.
Splinter: Well, I mean yeah.
Mikey: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.
Splinter: Wait, you just made them?
Mikey: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.
Splinter: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Mikey.
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Karai: Life is like Mikey. It's short.
--
Leo: I think I need a hug...
Raph: Good thing I'm hug shaped!
*45 minutes later*
Leo: You... you can let go now.
Raph: No, I absolutely cannot.
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April: *slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome* I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.
Casey: This is light?!
--
Draxum: Knock, knock.
Mikey: Who's there?
Draxum: Boo!
Mikey: Boo who?
Draxum: Why are you crying?
Mikey: I'm not crying.
Draxum: Hello notcrying, I'm Draxum.
--
April: Where are you going?
Raph: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.
--
April: Love makes people do stupid things.
Mikey: I love everything!
April: That explains a lot.
--
Donnie: There's no meeting today because Casey is at the police station.
April: They're in jail?!
Leo: We have to get them out!
Mikey: Jailbreak! I'm in!
Leo: I'll dress up and distract the guard!
Mikey: Ooh, I'll bake some food to help distract ALL the guards!
April: I guess I could bring my frying pan in case we need a shield to keep us from being shot-
Donnie: No! Casey wasn't arrested! They're undercover, taking the system down from the inside. They don't need our help!
--
Leo: How late were you up last night?
Donnie & Splinter, in tandem: Me?
Leo: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.
Leo, to Mikey: You.
--
Splinter: Are you really planning to shoot the demon?
Raph: Don't worry, it's a holy gun.
Splinter: How so?
Raph: It makes holes.
--
*April and Casey looking at a locked gate into a park*
April: Aw. :(
Casey: You know what they say.
April: Please don’t-
Casey: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*
April: Frick-
--
Raph: I need life advice.
Splinter, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.
--
Leo: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution.
Mikey: You could lose a few.
Casey: You could be less lazy.
Raph: Don’t be such a bitch.
Leo: Okay DAMN, SHIT.
--
Casey: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.
--
(Pssst if u like these guys go check out my askblog for them)
#tmnt#april o'neil#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt fan iteration#tmnt iteration#tmnt leo#tmnt raph#tmnt donnie#tmnt mikey#tmnt most wanted au#tmnt most wanted#casey jones#tmnt splinter#baron draxum#hamato yoshi#oroku karai
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Vampire
Ethan Landry x fem!reader
Warning mentions of murder, stabbing, cursing (some people are sensitive Abt that) manipulation, death (tell me if I missed any)
No mention of Y/n
This is my first imagine so it's probably pretty shitty sorry about that
Not proof read because I'm lazy 😭
Hate to give the satisfaction asking how you're doing now how's the castle built off people you pretend to care about
He was standing there. Just standing. He looked like the boy you fell in love with just mere months ago but the boy standing in front of you now? You don't know him at all, he may look like Ethan but he is not your Ethan.
Just what you wanted Look at you, cool guy, you got it I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes
He looked at you while tears blurred your vision "you thought I loved you?" Ethan laughed out while you just stood there crying, crying even though this is not the boy you love "awe she did" Quinn said pointing her knife twords your chest.
Six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise I loved you truly you gotta laugh at the stupidity
"you really thought I would love you?" Ethan spat as if it was disgusting for anyone to love you, you just stood there crying as he got closer to you "why would anyone love someone like you" you took a small step back while muttering no over and over again, not wanting to believe it was all fake.
Cause I've made some real big mistakes
But you make the worst one look fine
I should've known it was strange
You only come out at night
Sam and Tara stepped forward to try and comfort you until Ethan pointed his knife at the girls and told them not to move, obviously they listened not wanting something to happen to you. Ethan had a dark look in his eyes, you just looked at him with pleading eyes, a glint of softness crossed his eyes while you reached your hand to touch his face leaving some blood due to cutting your hand open on some glass while running away from none other than Ethan.
I used to think I was smart
But you made me look so naïve
The way you sold me for parts
As you sunk your teeth into me, oh
Bloodsucker, famefucker
Bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire
"poor girl didn't realize she was being used" Quinn said with fake sympathy. Ethan softly took your hand off his face trying not to lean into your touch, tears threatening to spill from his eyes while they ceased from yours, anger filling you.
Every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news You called them crazy, God, I hate the way I called them crazy too You're so convincing How do you lie without flinching? (How do you lie? how do you lie? how do you lie?)
"you can't tell me all of it was fake" you said, Ethan was now the one just standing because he knew it was true, but he couldn't look weak in front of his father so he turned his sadness to anger and pointed his knife to your face " even if it wasn't you and your bitch cousins killed my brother" he spat with hatred lazily swinging his knife as if he was pointing to Sam and Tara.
Ooh, what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill
Can't figure out just how you do it, and God knows I never will
Went for me and not her
'Cause girls your age know better
"so you're going to kill me because I was there that night?" You yelled, Quinn took a step twords you swiping her knife slicing your arm open " You helped murder our brother you bitch" she yelled back with the same amount of anger.
I've made some real big mistakes
But you make the worst one look fine
I should've known it was strange
You only come out at night
Ethan got closer with a crazy look in his eyes " you're going to pay for what you did" you looked at him in disbelief and hurt, you couldn't believe that he would hurt you much less kill you, tears were stinging again as he had the tip of his knife pointed in the middle of your chest
I used to think I was smart
But you made me look so naïve
The way you sold me for parts
As you sunk your teeth into me
Oh, bloodsucker, famefucker
Bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire
"why?" You asked, why?, That made Ethan think, why was he going to kill you, he knew he loved you and you didn't help kill his brother, you were just caught in the middle of it so why? Quinn was waiting in anticipation for Ethan to kill you, when realizing he was flaking she got mad and stabbed Sam. "Ethan stop fucking around and kill her already" Ethan stood there, not wanting to disobey his sister and father he looked at you and just said "because family comes first" as he said the Sam hit Quinn over the head with a brick and Tara to Ethan
You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard?
You can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart
I tried you help you out, now I know that I can't
'Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand
As Ethan stumbled you followed Sam and Tara up a ladder as you continued to follow them on the railing you slipped and were hanging from the balcony, you told Sam and Tara to go as you let go and fell on Ethan, while Wayne and Quinn were occupied with Sam and Tara you were running from Ethan, he got a few cuts in before hearing a gunshot and a thump, looking up he saw his dad and Sam, putting two and two together he realized his sister was dead
I've made some real big mistakes
But you make the worst one look fine
I should've known it was strange
You only come out at night
Looking back at you with sadness he broke down in front of you, you leaned down to comfort him only for him to look at you with his dark eyes "this is all your fault, if I had never fallen in love with you this would've never happened"
I used to think I was smart
But you made me look so naïve
The way you sold me for parts
As you sunk your teeth into me, oh
Bloodsucker, famefucker
As he stabbed you, you just looked at his eyes, he looked so lost, just like when you first met him when he was the sweet boy you knew.
Bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire
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Random thoughts on HTTYD RttE S4 (Ep1-7)
Halfway through RttE, wohoo
No time to waste, we're back into the thick of it
Snotlout has been having a very tired bitch face on constantly these last few episodes, hasn't he?
She's trusting them too easily, and this comes from someone who knows the Riders mean no harm
Mala gives me vibes of what future Astrid could be like
Yay for accidental save? And people say Viking helmets are a nuisance
Aw, Hookfang looked so happy for Snotlout up there
Gee, okay Mala, thanks for ignoring Astrid and Fishlegs there - are they not harmonious enough with their dragons for you? Hm??
Meatlug continues to be Best Girl
Snotlout's enjoying this too much
Poor Heather, having to be the only responsible one
Ohhhhhh, no you don't biatch
My new nickname for Viggo is biatch
Any ideas for a Ryker nickname?
Aw, the Eruptdon is actually really handsome
Is... Ryker planning to revolt against the biatch?
"We're not getting through that ballista! Astrid built it!" Okay, you know what, that's totally fair
Omg yes!!!! Meatlug is best girl, the absolutely bestest of girls
A hord of one of, if not the, best species of dragons just saved everyone's butts
All those Gronkles deserve everything
Hookfang puts up with so much, I love him
Ep2 - Of course they'd wake up the Edge like that
My prayers were answered!! Im meeting the twins' family!
Is it just me, or is Ruff not too enthusiastic about cousin Gruff?
Oof, so he's this kind of character huh? Also I'm guessing Gruff will use that for his benefit later in the episode, but the fact that he looks and sounds exactly like Tuff seems a little lazy, I dunno
Ruff showing her big sister vibes
Hiccup's a good friend
And Ruff is a gooder sister
Snotlout and Tuff take turns at being everyone's little siblings basically
You know, it's really nice to see the twins working separately for once - they're a package deal, you never see one without the other, but this time they're fighting from different sides; it helps in fleshing out their individual characters
He just wanted to see a rainbow you monster!!
I love that Hookfang and Meatlug listened to Chicken
Aw, he considers Tuffnut one of his best friends? Does that count for every rider?
Ruff knows what's up
"Flattery has no effect on me! Mostly because I never hear any!" Okay, anyone who's just read this, let's all praise Ruffnut right now, the girl's awesome and she freaking deserves it!!
While all this fighting is happening, Barf&Belch are getting a foot massage
It's really random, but I loved how Tuff tiptoed the length of Barf's neck to get to his saddle - it was really neat, and it eludes to him probably doing it a lot
That was sweet of the twins, letting Hiccup join them
And the way he was all awkardly standing and talking
Ep3 - Love Zack Pearlman's laugh as Snotlout
Ohh, a party? Nice, it's been a while since we visited Berk
The way they were announced: "Hiccup and the Dragon Riders" If i ever get a boy-band, that's gonna be its name
Astrid, as always, the voice of reason
Isn't this like, the 54th time one of the Dragon Riders is kidnapped?
Poor bounty hunters - they actually seemed like a cute couple
"Is anyone not after me?" You know, after searching a little bit on the httyd shipping tags, I'd say, no honestly - everyone wants a piece of you
So we are finally meeting this hooded guy then?
That chain around Hiccup's throat is giving me the creeps
Wow, he just, let him fall, damn
I swear these Hunters have the worst aim ever
Please tell me they are not letting Ryker go
Alright, guess today's not the day we meet hooded man
Ep4 - Oh no, not this man again
He's trying to turn Snotlout against Hiccup, da heck man??
Snotlout just looks so lost and confused
He gave him a nightmare - yeah I hate Spitelout
And lemme guess, the rest of the episode is gonna be Snotlout making bad mistakes left and right
Yeeeeep
I wonder, does this happen everytime Snotlout talks to his dad? Become insufferable and hurtful to the team - is this a part of a pattern? And if so, do any of the riders know? Or the dragons for that matter - how much does Hookfang know?
Everyone else deserves so much credit for not having thrown him off a cliff yet
Okay, I know it's supposed to be a serious moment here, but Snotlout's ¬¬ face when Hiccup was lecturing him, I can't
"Man, nobody loans me anything." You can feel the self-deprecation and resentment dripping from that sentence
Let's take a moment to appreciate Hookfang, who's been following Snotlout around the whole episode
And another moment for Fishlegs who openly, genuinely, gave him a chance
Hiccup's great, man, really. He's giving Snotlout every single chance he's asking, calming down the others, letting him win so he could get a confidence boost! These are amazing friends
And now he's panicking, oh my god
Not Hookfang with Spitelout's voice, anything but that!!
Have I mentioned how much I love Hookfang and Snotlout's relationship yet? No? Well, I do, and Hookfang is an amazing boy
Okay, yay, they gave him his little hero moment there, nice going
Ep5 - Shattermaster and Dagur yaaaaas, I've been thinking about you guys
Oh no, not this king stuff again
Yeah I don't believe Dagur is back on the dark side. He was probably captured by the hunters when he led himself and Shattermaster into that trap and then had to regain their trust somehow so they wouldn't kill him
Astrid got stuck with babysitting duty again, it seems
My guess is that he's gonna pass all three, and then chicken out with becoming king for some reason - or he's gonna lose right before he finishes the third trial
Okay, so the memory wipe was fake, he tricked me there too - but more importantly, Shattermaster!!!
Dagur calling him the most handsome Gronkle ever melted my heart
Oh yeah, we got Shattermaster back, that's it!
That was a sweet moment between Dagur and Heather
Snotlout's complaints are fair
Ep6 - Hey, Johhan! It's been a hot minute since we last saw you
Submaripper huh? That's a cool name, I like it
Please, don't die peeps
Snotlout asking Hookfang if he looks cool with the goggles and Hookfang hitting him with one of his horns back - small interactions like these between dragon and rider are my favorite
Hiccup obce agwin being able to do things no one from his era should be able to
I like the Submaripper's colors they're pretty
I swear, Hiccup collects near-death experiences as if they were Pokémon cards
Sweet ending, with Johhan telling them a story
Ep7 - Soooo, everyone is delirious? That's the episode
Seeing Astrid like that is kinda scary, ngl
Hookfang looked so scared with Snotlout's mood swings for a sec there
And the twins are just duttyfully noting it all down
"Keep my weight out of this." Pfff, poor Stoick
I have no idea what's up with those round-headed dragons, but they're cute
Of course Astrid and Snotlout would be besties when sleep-deprived
The little glances between the dragons - I'd pay to know what they're thinking right now
The Shadow Wings' formation is a bit ridiculous, but I like it
Hookfang blasting Snotlout away from him and Meatlug's weary glances towards Fishlegs - my god the riders must really be creeping them out
Tuffnut breaking into a hysterical fit of laughter over hallucinations is probably the most relatable of these symptoms for me
I don't understand why they didn't do this from the start, but I'm glad to see the dragons taking matters into their own hands for a change
Also, don't understand the meaning behind the A plot with Hiccup and Toothless but sure
They're all cuddling down there while sleeping but will absolutely refuse it when they wake up - also the dragons are gonna have so much blackmail material for the next couple weeks
I'm half-way through season 4, yayy
I'm really surprised, and immensely flattered people keep liking and reblogging whatever this commentary is that I'm doing. You're putting up with so much bad grammar and over all dumbassery I don't know how I can thank you except to continue
Anyway, hope you like another one of these
Have a nice day :>
#Im finishing this way quicker than i expected#but the show is genuinely so much fun#anyway lets start the tagging hell#httyd#httyd rtte#httyd rtte commentary#hiccup horrendous haddock the 3rd#hiccup#astrid hofferson#astrid#snotlout jorgenson#snotlout#fishlegs ingerman#fishlegs#tuffnut thorston#tuffnut#ruffnut thorston#ruffnut#toothless#hookfang#stormfly#barf and belch#meatlug#windshear#httyd heather#dagur the deranged#viggo grimborn#aka the biatch#httyd ryker#still need his nickname
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One last flex of my dislike for Echoes and probably my last "shit on Echoes" post until the idiotic scumbags that run the game do something else deplorable and greedy. Consider this my mega post about the game with some thoughts and reasoning put into it besides *incoherent screeching*.
Echoes of Mana sucks. We all know that. I'm shouting into the void at this point. The loading times are unacceptable, co-op is a joke, the incompetent devs couldn't figure out what to do WITH A BASIC FRIENDS LIST, pull rates are absolutely awful, there was little to no testing done, Bravers is the most shameless display of greed I've ever seen in any game ever, Gingham was fucking awful, gems were a good idea but poorly executed, and characters RARELY interacted in meaningful ways in crossovers. It was a bunch of horseshit all the way through. Characters would be advertised together, only to not show up together (Duran and Angela and Charlotte and Kevin are promoted a LOT together, but only show up together in social media posts and gems (ironically getting more likes on those posts than the story chapters do...), Amanda never interacts with Sumo, Keldy never says a word to Lekius, etc. While the Secret of Mana trio get to freely interact with each other, female protags never got to interact in meaningful ways...).
The quilt/tapestry theme was so forced. We only get to see one (1) stitched together world (DoM and LoM)... And it did nothing with the crossover. Cool. And I died internally every time the dispatches said "WE'RE WEAVING UP GOOD STUFF".
What the fuck was up with the gems for SD3? No DSK/Loki vs Duran gem? No Bil and Ben vs Hawkeye? No pornomags gem? No Grand Croix gem? A good chunk of the gems for SD3 are made up bullshit. Yet, whenever someone farts in Secret of Mana or Legend of Mana, there's a gem for that. Hmm.
Don't get me started on the banners, though. Good grief. Fire and Ice, the so-called 31st anniversary celebration, was absolutely terrible. Terrible boss, ho-hum story that did nothing with the characters... I could say that about pretty much every event, actually, except for maybe 3 of them, max. (Any event with Duran in it because he was allowed to be a character, and the Manor one with Fuji, Randi, Popoi, and Blainchet.) Also, the events text was straight up broken for like a day. Lovely.
As funny as the LoM and Toto crossover was, being shilled at so explicitly at the end was the biggest slap in the face. No, I don't want the creepy Riesz statue, and I don't want to subject myself to the LoM anime. I don't want to look at Shiloh's weird lumpy, ballsack abs ever again.
I know I can't be too mean about this, but the English version has so many typos. As an amateur fanfic writer, I get it. I can't tell you how many typos I've passed over by accident that pop had to point out to me in my shitty fics after I've posted them. ... But neither of us are getting paid for writing/editing fanfic. So... Yeah.
But, my biggest problem, which I cannot overstate...
I absolutely detest how Angela's character is represented in Echoes. It directly contradicts and violates her character in TOM to the point I don't think the writer of that chapter actually played the Dragon Lord arc... Or the game at all, only getting snippets of dialogue from YouTube videos or some shit. Everything about chapter 2 undermines her arc AND Duran's completely (honeycomb: "lol I just trained hard to get magic lol xdddd")
In the chapter, she is shown training (yes, she says she had training when your main asks how she got to Cascade Cavern) and effortlessly fighting alongside Quilt, Honeycomb, and Duffle WITHOUT MAGIC, and tooootally besties with...
Okay.
No.
I'm sorry, this is not the same character as the one depicted below. The Angela in ToM is clearly a girl out of her depth and not the bad boss bitch she is in Echoes.
It's very heavily implied that Angela is very sheltered, lazy, selfish, and has probably never left Altena, expressing only a very vague understanding of the lay of the land (she couldn't even name Alrant!) Early game Angela in TOM pretty much lucks into her victory in her first fight (the tutorial fight!) expressing disbelief she was even capable of doing such a thing. She then almost promptly passes out in the cold and is luckily rescued by some locals.
Once you get into the meat of the game, she's pretty eager to pass off the fighting ("I can leave the fighting to you, right?"), immediately wants to take a nap upon reaching Jadd, bitches about Molebear Moors ("I'm filing a complaint about this path!"). Overall, it seems like she fluked her way to Wendel, making her way there by sheer luck, not skill.
None of these "negative" traits are shown in Echoes. Without consequence, YOUNGER, PRE-MAGIC ANGELA, after a cringe-inducing speech about friendship or whatever, she jumps into the fight with the Crimson Wizard alongside your stupid group and comes out unscathed...
Which is what completely undermines Duran's arc. Duran, one of the strongest swordsmen in Valsena, got owned by the CRIMSON WIZARD and almost died (and many of his fellow soldiers/knights were killed that night, ones implied to be more experienced than he is!)
"oh, but sack," you say, "she didn't fight the Crimson Wizard alone! She had help from Quilt, Duffle, and Honeycomb!"
ah yes, three other undertrained kids. That makes it better.
No. It doesn't. Let me reiterate: trained Valsenan soldiers, said to be among the best in the world, died to CW. Pre-magic Angela should have gotten hurt, or faced some kind of consequence for trying to take down an opponent like that. But no, she doesn't. I can believe she and Duran can take down Full Metal Hugger. Sure, fine. Whatever. That's just a big, dumb crab, not a powerful wizard even late game Duran and Angela still express difficulty facing even after getting stronger, judging by their battle dialogue.
"But sack! It's just a dumb gacha story! Don't take it so seriously!"
I know! But boy. BOY. BOI. AAAA IT'S SO EXPLICITLY BAD AAAAAAAA-
"Hey sack! Angela slaps the boys shit in Jadd when they approach her bed! She must be strong!"
Those are slapstick powers. Duh.
Also, this is a nitpick, but I really hate the retcon with male mages being overly present in Altena. In ToM and SD3, a soldier explicitly states the Altenish army is comprised of all women, which implies male mages are pretty rare (José, CW (who actually isn't a wizard lol he had to borrow evil powers like a little bitch)). I can believe non-mages are discriminated against, that's fine. I can believe Angela would stand up for Framaus if he was being bullied. Honestly? I think that's great! Angela may be selfish and a jerk, but I can definitely see her standing up for him for being a non-mage.
But, former besties? No. You don't talk about a former bestie like, "ew I have nothing to do with that guy!" You would probably say, "we used to be friends, but then he became a huge dick." All Angela states on the matter to Duran is "it's complicated" and that "he used to be nice". Yeah. Also lmao, the irony Framaus finally starts calling her Angela only for her to loathe when he calls her that by the time ToM rolls around is amazing. Really makes you wonder if Angela bumped her head and got amnesia or something.
Oh, and I do not find Framaus endearing or sympathetic. He's a creep. A fucking CREEP.
Ah, I get it now. Angela is too naive to realize that. Okay, chapter's issues absolved! (Not.)
Oh, and don't get me started on Angela replacing Framaus with Victor, too. Makes her look like a fucking psycho. Did the Echoes writers forget Victor exists or what? He's the only Altenish character not present in Echoes.
Fuck.
Fuck this chapter. I hate it more than Heroes of Mana, and that was a whole game of stupid horseshit and nonsense.
Echoes sucks. Angela's contradictory representation in Echoes is merely a symptom of a poorly managed, poorly written, poorly coded game.
Also, who the fuck thought it was a good idea for Hawkeye to be the Mana swordsman? You're the worst. The literal worst. Fuck you the most.
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Guess who!! I'm ready for some tna analysis from you!!!! What did you think of the chapter ?? I think it's weird we don't have an explanation yet. Hello?? Dead woman walking. Anyone else freaked out??
Hey, anon! I'm so excited! One of my TNA Askers! Welcome home! I'm so glad you're back with book 3! And omg ... I am still unraveling from that first chapter... shall we discuss? 😁
I love that you bring up that we don't have an explanation yet of Addison's reappearance. If the love of my life died and came back REGARDLESS if she's a heartless bitch and abandoned the family or if she was taken captive or ... whatever... why are we not trying to figure this out? Why are we playing in the snow like it's nothing? Is this a normal thing for Sam? Women claiming to be his dead wife?
I could be wrong, but this DNA testing is such bullshit. No offense to those who think this, but I think the plot of it being a body double, a twin or someone who had plastic surgery is so lazy and ridiculous. If that happens, then okay... but I'll be pissed. LOL
But then again, Sammy claims he saw her in the morgue... I'm assuming they also did tests then (or did they get a payout from Daddy Dalton too)? OR... Does Sam know (this would be SO RICH, y'all... it's not gonna happen, but can you imagine!?)?
Also, if it's his lawyers doing the testing, why are they giving her the results?
I'm sure we all picked up on this: The Daltons told homegirl where Sammy was! Survey says THEY'RE IN ON IT!
Random thought: I think Sammy was Sam Dalton's persona before his wife "died" (remember: in the previous books, his dad was concerned about him being a little too wild; he was a risk taker; and now: workaholic).
Of course, MC knows how to fix everything. She has all the answers, including how to talk to the twins about their not-so-dead mother. Don't get me wrong: these are difficult discussions, and I am glad that the twins have SOMEONE to talk to about it. I feel like the only thing Sam knows about children is how to make them... but hey, wouldn't that be a fun plot twist (and by fun, I mean dumpster fire)? The twins aren't even his.
Red Flag #1763 for Sam Dalton: I want to preface this with I AM NOT DEFENDING ADDISON. We don't know her story; it's not looking so good.
But what the hell? MC comes to Sam during their cabin getaway to talk about Addison... they are literally on a getaway. Nothing else to do. Winter break. Vacay.
"...I know this must be awful for you, and haven't had much time to talk about directly." WHY NOT? WHY AREN'T WE TALKING!? DISMOUNT, GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF HIS ASS AND TALK!
"...something in my gut is telling me it's really Addison." SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR GREAT LOVE... have they even talked to her? Don't you think if they had a conversation together, he'd be able to tell? 5 years is nothing ...
And then... this entire exchange... *eye twitches*
MC: "Addison was your wife. I know you loved her once, and now that she's back..." (MC gets it; they were all still feeling the grief of Addison's loss 6 months ago when when MC took the nanny job...)
Sam: You are the one I want by my side... I mourned Addison and moved on. Her coming back, if it really is her, doesn't change.
Y'all... this makes me so sick. They weren't broken up. They hadn't divorced. She had "died"... imagine the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE dying and now they are back. Obviously, we have a TON of questions (and it's looking like Addison abandoned the family with maybe a rich payout). I don't expect Sam to be like... "Gee, I don't know MC, I guess I don't love you anymore." But, I'm not impressed.
Also, (I was asked this on FB) I don't fault Addison for not smiling at MC. LOL She probably sees MC as her husband's midlife crisis (which... *ahem*)
Of course, MC is gonna condone more pranks and now fibbing.
And one. last. thought (if you've made it this far)... those precious babies. UGH... just... my heart. Is she Mom or is she Addison? Do they want to see her or do they not? This has got to be so friggin confusing and my heart just breaks for them... this is so ugly for them.
Whew... talk about a ramble. I know there are PLENTY of people who disagree with me, and that is 100% okay.
Thank you so, so much for the Ask! I'm so happy you're back! And as always, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
*big ol hugs* 💜
#you asked#i rambled#the nanny affair 3#choices tna 3#the nanny affair#the nanny affair book 3#tna book 3#tna 3#sam dalton#sam dalton x mc#addison dalton
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MC is the Bad Bitch of the Armalith Corporation:
Person: Why are you even here?
MC: Why not?
Person: You're the best agent at the Armalith Corporation, you have the power and the authority so why are you smoking and idling here in the break room?
Person: You should be doing missions rn instead of being a lazy bitch!!!!! Ugh I can't believe they painted you as this dangerous woman anyone would fear, how can someone like you be a worthy hand for the President?
Person: You're nothing like my expectations at all,they said you're great but you aren't!!!!!
MC:*stand up from where she's sitting* Oh darling
From afar:
Cadel: Shoot, drama alert in MC's direction. That new employee just said something they shouldn't have
Ronald: Then we should sit here and enjoy the show, let the professional does her job
Walris: I'm recording this,the director can see this after he's finished with his meeting
Back to where MC was,since she stand up. The new employee notice that she's much taller than them and her posture is very intimidating
MC: Darling, you're new around here aren't you? No wonder why you're so clueless about me
Person: WHAT-
MC: Tell me why do I have to act like your expectations said? No the better question is who even are you?
MC: You seems to know me thanks to my reputation and I don't even know you. Don't you think it's plain rude how you just suddenly show up and be a bitch just because I was sitting and resting? You didn't even give me a proper greeting
MC: Considering what you said about me,you were probably a fan of mine correct? After all, I'm known far and wide in this company
MC: However some fans tend to be the awful ones and I hate them
-Back to the boys:
Yerith: Hey!
Ronald: Hey Director! How's the meeting
Yerith: Fine, I did my part as the Director of Operational Agents like normal. Nothing bad happens while I was gone right?
Walris: Nah,but MC is roasting a new employee who was rude to her rn.
Walris: I'm actually recording this for you when you're finished with your meeting but since you're here,you can enjoy the show
Yerith: Oh really?*turn to look at where MC is*
-And we're back to MC:
MC: You're just some random fan who happens to meet me first time. I met other fans before, they're absolutely cuties unlike you. And just because I'm not like you imagined...
MC:...You thought you have the right to be shitty to me like that?
MC: You,who even are you ?You deserve to talk to me ?
MC: You are not the boss of me, I am the boss of myself
MC: Darling,you should know one thing. I let myself become the weapon of this company because of one very simple reason. That's because I wanted to do so. It was my own choice to choose to join this company
MC: If not,you think this company or the President can force me to join? Not even the CEO can dictate what I do,so who are you to dictate what I do ?
MC: You are right about one thing, I am dangerous. I can just kill you right here and now,no one would question anything at all
MC: After all,they don't call me The Wicked Woman of the Armalith Corporation for nothing~
Person:......
MC: I'm not gonna waste my precious time on someone as insignificant as you
MC: Here's a small advice for you, Darling. If you can't say something nice,then shut the fuck up. Even a mute person is better than you are
MC: Please do me a favour and get out of my face already ~
-MC then flipped her hair,turned around, cigarette in hand and walked away,her heels clicking on the pristine floor. Leaving the rude employee extremely stunned and traumatized.
-Some other employees who witnessed the whole thing immediately went after her to calm her down cause everyone knows Lady Q is very terrifying when she's agitated, also bc they're scared she's gonna commit murder right in the hallway
Employee: Ma'am can I get you anything?Just say the word!!!!
MC: I need a drink, that scum made my blood boil I can fucking punch the wall now *put the cigarette to her lips*
Employee: YES RIGHT AWAY MA'AM!!!!!!! *Immediately scurry away to do the order*
The others:*prepare a comfy sofa for MC ofc*
Yerith: I'm gonna give the Administration Office a call,if a employee can anger MC like that. It's gonna be a problem
Yerith: Can't have her dirty the workplace,that employee isn't gonna be here any longer
Ronald: Good cuz I ain't stopping her from committing murder should this happens again
Cadel: That was fun to watch, wasn't it?
Walris: This is why I love her!!!!
#gacha club#gacha ocs#vtsom#vtsom oc#mc carolois#therapy with dr albert krueger#twdak#dinoverse#ronald redtis#cadelith vadeline#yerith amber#walris walter
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Posting bits of my recent reality to my personal blog because I need to process and vent, and I'm too broke to afford a therapist. Read or dismiss as you wish. Share advice if you please, but not judgement. Namaste 🙏🏻
November 24, 2023
I left my husband a little more than a month ago. So far, most people have respected my privacy and not asked what happened. But as the holidays approach, it’s becoming harder to avoid disclosing our separation, and I know people will ask why I left Adam. The answer can be simple – I was unhappy. I was sick of feeling so awful in my situation, and I realized I deserve to be happy. But simply saying I was unhappy sounds like I just wasn’t putting in the effort to connect with my husband. It sounds like I gave up and didn’t care to try. We have children, for goodness’ sake! Couldn’t I have stuck it out and tried to make things work for them? Oh, but I did. I fought for years, telling my husband verbatim what I needed to feel loved, begging for him to be an active and supportive partner. Sometimes it got better for a few days. We wouldn’t fight. He’d be helpful and loving. There would be physical intimacy. But I was always quickly reminded that the peace was too good to be true.
What exactly did my husband do that was so horrible? Was he just lazy and unhelpful? Well, I could tell you the worst things he ever did to me. Like how I once noticed he was jumpy while on his phone and always angling his screen away or closing all his apps when I entered the room. It wasn’t difficult for me to find out that he was entertaining another woman on Snapchat. I confronted him in the middle of the night. He swears it was never flirty or sexual. He only talked to her about life. He enjoyed that someone cared to ask about his day and showed an interest in conversation with him. As if I didn’t try to engage him between doing all of the childrearing and housekeeping by myself… I’ll never know if he was telling the truth about that, though. After all, people use Snapchat when they don’t want there to be evidence, right?
There was also the time he lied about cancer to get out of an argument. I don’t even know what we were arguing about – probably housework. But he apologized and told me he’d just had a lot on his mind. When I pressed, wanting to know more so I could be there for him, he told me his doctor thought he might have testicular cancer, which I knew runs in his family. He said he was supposed to go in for scans to confirm, but that he didn’t want to talk about it because he was too upset. I respected that boundary and didn’t bring it up for a while, just trying to love him and be there for him in other ways as best I could. Probably 2-3 months later, it was eating at me that Adam hadn’t confided in me regarding the results, so I asked about it. He didn’t know what I was talking about. I reminded him of our previous conversation, and so casually, as if it were nothing, he said, “Oh yeah, I just made that up so you’d stop bitching at me. I don’t have cancer.” This man had me fearing for his life and our future, and it was just a sick lie. That was only about 18 months into our relationship. I should have gotten out then.
There was also a time very recently – I know because our children were toddlers. I got home from work, and Adam immediately put on a show for them and beckoned me into the bedroom. He ordered me to strip and fully expose myself on the bed. I thought it not an appropriate time for relations, but the kids were occupied and I was afraid to anger him, so I let it continue. After I spread myself, Adam opened his phone and held it up to me. I covered my face and tried to get up, telling him not to take pictures of me like that, but he ordered me down. He kept looking back and forth from his phone to my body. Finally, I asked what the heck he was doing, and he showed me a faceless nude he had stumbled upon on the internet. The woman’s body looked just like mine, the same skin tone, stretch marks, and curves. I would have believed it was me, but I’d never taken a photo quite like that. I was enraged. How dare he force me on the bed, order me to expose myself, and question my faithfulness and decency! What ever happened to just asking a question and trusting your spouse? I told him how fucked up that was of him, that I was molested as a child by an older boy who forced me to do those same things. Adam apologized that I’d been through that, but he justified his actions because he “just had to be sure” that I hadn’t been sharing my body online for strangers.
All of those things, though, were easy to forgive for a while. I mean, I did excuse them for years until now, as messed up as that may sound. But none of those things hurt as much as the things he did regularly, weekly, daily.
Over the entire length of our 9-year relationship, Adam was abnormally jealous. He would accuse me out of the blue of cheating on him. When I got pregnant with our son, after the initial excitement, he questioned who the father was. We had stopped trying to conceive, but I guess that last try stuck. But to Adam, he couldn’t make it make sense, as if he knew my cycle like the back of his hand and fully understood how conception happens. He was sure I must have had another partner after we had stopped trying to get pregnant. Even until now, Adam will randomly question who our son’s father is, sometimes jokingly, but sometimes very seriously.
When we adopted our daughter, he would lash out when her crying woke him up too many times at night or when she'd throw tantrums as a toddler. He would frequently say that he wish we'd never taken her, that he didn't want "this," that he felt like he was being punished for someone else's poor decision to conceive her. Once her adoption was final after 3 years, Adam would still share these sentiments, but he'd add the caveat, "I mean, I love her now but..." The way this broke my heart was irreparable. For a long time, I could forgive his transgressions toward me, but to reject our daughter was unforgivable.
A few years ago, I became work-friends with my only male coworker, a man who I explained reminded me so much of my brother because he is Asian, a chef, and so good to his woman just like my brother is to his wife. I would only ever talk about the cooking and foodie things I learned from this coworker, but the mere mention of his name was very triggering for Adam, and he would be mad at me for days. I had to stop talking about the things I learned about my favorite hobby just because they were taught to me by a man.
Adam was also very controlling. I think he only ever asked for proof of my whereabouts less than a handful of times, but I had begun to recognize the signs that he was going to accuse me of not being where I said I would be. Without prompting, I would be so nervous that I would take pictures of my surroundings and snap screenshots of the timestamp as proof of my timeline in the event I needed them when I got home. Even when I provided this evidence, Adam still would not believe that I was being completely truthful.
When I started gaining confidence in myself when I made friends who would hype me up, I also gained confidence in my sense of style. I wanted to try wearing crop tops with the slightest bit of midriff showing above the belly button. On at least two occasions, Adam made comments about my intentions and stated he didn’t want me going out of the house like that.
Adam also would not respect my “no” in the bedroom. Sometimes he just wouldn’t let it go. Other times he would try to guilt me into doing things I didn’t want to do. Sometimes I would oblige, and when I was less than enthusiastic, he would get upset and start a fight. Still other times, he would say, “I’ll just get it somewhere else.” He would ignore my emotional needs, stating that if I'd just meet his physical needs, maybe he's be a better husband and father. How could I get sexually close to him when I felt abandoned in every other area of our life together?
Adam was and is very quick to anger. He would pick random fights and blame them on me. He would ignore me for days and wouldn’t even tell me what I had done wrong. In most cases, I had done nothing wrong. He would say nothing was wrong, but his attitude and actions would say otherwise. He would shoot me hateful looks, scoff, and shake his head as if disgusted. Sometimes I would begin to consider whether I actually had done something wrong and would apologize. Other times I knew without a doubt that I had done nothing, and I would apologize anyway just so he would talk to me. Most times, I would just take the mistreatment and withholding of love until Adam grew tired of it. Most times, when it was convenient for him, usually when he wanted sex, the cold shoulder would be over, and he would start talking to me as if nothing happened. He never once apologized for these days-long cold shoulders.
It goes without saying that I was always walking on eggshells. Sometimes I would be ridiculously nervous to bring something up for fear of his emotional or verbal reaction.
Adam would use intimidation tactics during arguments. Any time he was mad, he would slam or even throw things. He would beat on the wall and block doors to prevent me from walking away from the argument, and once before we had children, to prevent me from leaving the house. Once during an argument that was not even our worst, Adam cornered me in my tiny closet-office. When it got heated, he punched a hole in the wall right next to my face to intimidate me. I think that if I’d cowered in that moment, the violence would have escalated that day and from that point on. But I didn’t cower. I was bold and angry and told him if he ever did anything like that again, I would take the kids and be gone before he could blink.
Sometimes during arguments, Adam would belittle me, saying, “Let me put it in a way that you can understand,” before proceeding to speak to me as if I were a child. He would gaslight me, discredit me, making me question my reality, whether the way I remembered things was actually how they had happened. He would say, “It’s not my fault you can’t take a joke,” and, “I’m sorry that’s how you perceive it.” He would insist that an event or conversation never happened. He would always tell me he remembers what I said or did better than I do, stating, “You’re clearly not remembering correctly.”
He would place blame on my past behaviors to excuse his current behaviors, stating that if I had acted differently, he wouldn’t be this way. He would withhold love when he was mad, even when he was at fault. This included not talking to me, hugging me, kissing me, and ignoring me when I told him I loved him. He would even refuse to sleep in the same bed, sometimes because he couldn’t stand to be around me and other times just to intentionally hurt my feelings. He would tell me that I was just being dramatic, sensitive, or hormonal, sometimes stating, “Maybe you really do need therapy.”
I’m sure there are other things I could rattle on about. There’s so much that I can’t keep track of it all. I would tell him when these things would hurt me. I would even use words like “controlling” and “manipulative.” It never meant anything to Adam. He rarely responded with remorse, love, or compassion. One night toward the end, I was fed up. I didn’t want to feel unwanted and unloved anymore. I told Adam I wanted a divorce. His response to that was the most sorry I’d ever seen him. After a few weeks, we started marriage counseling. I think things got a little better in the day-to-day, but when he got mad, he would go right back to his cruel habits.
A few months into counseling, on a Sunday, there was a women-only family thing I attended. The time had been moved to later, and no one had told me, so I was out while Adam was stuck at the house with the kids for longer than I had intended. Adam called me, telling me that this thing that was entirely out of my control was unacceptable. He demanded that I leave and come home immediately, but everyone had just gotten there, and I’d carpooled with my mom, and I wasn’t going to make her leave because of him. I became indignant and told him that he could handle a few hours doing the same thing that I do all day every day. He told me that becoming a stay-at-home mom after being laid off was what I had asked for and to stop whining about it. I told him that I really didn’t want to be yelled at and have this argument with him in front of my family, and I hung up. We didn’t speak of it when I got home.
The next morning, Adam called me into the bathroom while he was getting ready. I had cleaned off the bathroom counter that weekend and thrown away 3 or 4 empty deodorants. I guess one wasn’t empty as I had thought. That morning, Adam screamed at me about deodorant, calling me a liar, insisting that the two blue deodorants I was speaking of never existed, and repeatedly asked why I would lie about it. All I had done was try to help clean up his side of the sink. I even apologized for mistaking the good deodorant for an empty one and accidentally throwing it away. But he was so fixated on the blue deodorant, how he never buys blue deodorant, when I was sure the details of those two blue containers would be my saving grace and make him realize that I really was telling the truth. Why else would I remember those details? But it didn’t matter. He was always right, and I was always lying. I walked away from the argument when our 3-year-old son came in and said, “Guys, guys, it’s okay. Just calm down.”
I realized then that things would never change. No amount of marriage counseling could fix what was broken. His irrational, angry episodes that got out of hand were becoming more frequent and more severe, and I was unwilling to see how far they would go.
In 4 hours, I packed everything the kids and I would need for at least a month, and we left for my parents’ house.
Part of me doesn’t want to blame Adam. He didn’t understand the magnitude of the damage he was doing to my psyche. But the rest of me remembers how many times I told him he was hurting me, that I didn’t want to be with him the way he was, that I didn’t want that for our children. That should have been enough for him to want to change. I shouldn’t have had to threaten divorce, to leave, to give him the exact terminology for gaslighting and psychological abuse. You don’t do these things to the people you love, and you sure as hell listen to them when they are crying for help.
I know our friends and loved ones will see me moving forward quickly and think I must have been cheating on him. I must not have loved him. I must not have cared about our family and our marriage. But I did. I fought for our marriage for years while the man who was supposed to be my partner ignored me. And when I couldn’t fight for our marriage anymore, I fought for survival, to keep our home together so our kids could at least have both parents around, even if they didn’t have the healthiest relationship. But I deserve better than that, and so do our children.
I am not unaffected by this. It was the worst feeling in the world breaking heart of the man I considered my best friend for 9 years, watching him crumble in front of me. It was incredibly difficult to maintain my resolve in the weeks that followed as he begged me for another chance. And it’s freaking terrifying not knowing what our future will hold as a result of my decision.
I will continue to mourn the loss of my marriage – all of the hard work, love, blood, sweat, and tears that went into trying to make it work. I will mourn the loss of the strong family unit I thought my children would grow up with. I will mourn the loss of the plans we had made for the future, the life we wanted to build. But what I want my family to understand is that I have been unhappy for years. I struggled for years with the realization that I knew had to leave. It just took me a long time to finally be ready. So if it looks like I’m moving on too quickly or seem okay with this all, it’s because I began mourning the loss of life as I knew it years ago. I have been broken for too long. Now it’s time for me to heal and be happy.
#rant post#personal post#divorce#separation#psychological abuse#emotional abuse#narcissistic abuse#gaslighting#manipulation#toxic relationship
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Yes I am alright..he asked me if I went to the presbyterian church I said they would have made me walk 12 blocks to have a religious meal....I use to as homeless around 160 pounds....these people are really white phobic so I suspect them of being The French or germans...their too mean to be white people
I would have to be so victimized their party was ruined forever people burn stuff down around that church
I view it as creepy people who stalk around high schools to drug and rape minors and they are very obsessed with me that way I was hazed in high school and these are reefer phobic awful people who do nothing till Asians finally arrive
Nothing is done or accomplished until Asians arrive and they about those problems have to create factory compounds or their people could just be used by upper classes so
You could be forced into an upper class companion....and worked
Uhm Barcelona explained emergence as heresy.....the catharists would claim God was about not meat eating and complete passivism.....and the walldentsians slowly conflicted them till common ideas of no dogma ruled
Europeans get use to tourism payments so their too mean and rude like a European passport off the plane detainment so get off Me God you don't care about your reputation
Stop being Me worthless lazy freakshow
That's me the indigenous people are like good kind people it's sad but you can't practice here because it will all be conflicted on for refusing to create normal new jobs
If you ask me the indigenous people to have as servants are very luxurious to go to....they aren't normal to themselves they could just have a good cafe and kick us out it's us...
I probably will want to keep going back I would want to know these secrets of working with deformed child orphans....so
The hare Krishnas I guess largely invite meat workers as felons in to stop their self inflicted punishments...so it can't be too nice
I don't understand hyper activity in mentalism I was really disciplined to be girlish so
Indian appropriation act......of 1851....cave of swimmer cave paintings so I guess there is more ideas of how to stop sedentary mandates in indigenous policy
I would call latin churches or white as more about anti pornography laws of the 1970s latinism is still largely girls and boys considered for rabbinicals
Thats me about those men to that church they keep stalking into women's stuff when they have men's missions and chabad and all sorts of higher pay to report to feds and just use privilege to massacre women for a hideout
Protect themselves they could lower job wages back down to women's sustainability that gets rid of over population of males quick people who actually have to be disabled enough to prefer a pacifitarian caloric intake
We could have wind power and none of it goes to a commanding officer for a trade....no war man their repulsive go away
Latin Americans were actually displaced in france so I find them french people with their things
I just said at the time they did make me walk too much in this horrible of a conflict.....
Peace lady wanted to cut her own throat a lot for stalking people with Americans everywhere who could have their energy deployed in normal ways....
That's why her family would stay in contact with her so people didn't find her Japanese policy
I at least to the missing people who actually are the church just state I'm not actually with it and use their property minimally.....nor claim any ownership of it it's the feds
Their gross bitch and they just keep going into the church with no affiliation to it
That's their church and gross bitch kept going into the office like a jail fucker
The office lady at the Lutheran church looks like she commits felony intake body searches a fucker
They claim the down syndrome school isn't affiliated with the church so their pedophiles.....downs models it's to marry children so I never ever see anyone actually Lutheran looking ever go over there......
Well white art did like think about the 10.000 year only history so it's a church it's not a counter culture easy to like or be apart of
Anyway I just wanted to convey to him it's illegal to kill people.....so you think nobody homeless knows people and soon if they know all the help and your compass eventually a few people stop stealing other people's friends
So you should realize you don't have to go anywhere you don't want to go it's a horrible crisis and you can go around who you want to be your friends to care about not forced other homeless people I'm rude and quiet to other homeless people so they finally go to their money
Don't sit around poor with me go away you stink and have a disease too
Tzu chi with Taiwan they want to build little tiny houses so camped negroes have a Rowe and a Rowe garden.......
But negro camp situations are really freudian with all the eve ill included so im not sure how that would work......
Anyway I have still just been looking around for the cca and to do the self based off architectural example they have these metal tubes with holes all over them that look like a funnel with a large spout or a post modern idea of tons of car trash or actually a lot of affluance the land fill is a lot of wealth that just perishes.....
So like a tipi but a large metal tube that looks like a funnel.....anyway it's the idea that there is actually an abundance of stuff then there is all this unused profit in foundations from cow......
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Reason why realistically I'd never survive running with the crew in Stranger Things.
I'd stomp all the vines just trying to be a pain in the ass for Vecna. "hope that's your back" *Stomp* "hope that's your nards" *Kick* and then everything just know where we are and is pissed and vicious.
I would have kept several D'arts trying to train them, naming them shit like Fluffumz. Buying meat from the butcher and asking for the bones. Fluffumz would eat half the town, and I'd be given life, probably.
My favorite song changes by the actual hour.
I'm that person who has to touch every object that looks cool/strange/weird, and will do so if no one is there to stop me.
My attention span fades too fast, like on a bad day? I'm Cosmo without Wanda. On a worse day? "No this is Patrick." On a stresfful day when I'm feeling low, that ADHD decided to get ugly and all over the place? "Hi my names dori and I suffer from....squirrel!...oh look it's a nickel! lets call it phi - we were running away weren't we?"
My rbf levels would have most people too afraid to trust me.
I'm a horribly nosey person at all the wrong times.
I'm a fairly athletic big girl - buuuut I'm lazy, and I'm only running so far before I decide it'd be less stress to just try to beat things up. Which is like insta-death by all kinds of cool looking awful.
In the tunnels of S2 I would have wanted to make it my She Shed, deck it out, so it looked like the scene where Alice falls into wonderland.
I am about as lucky as the Pink Panther, the odds are always in turmoil and most of the time things get wonky for me.
I have a bad mouth and get rude when I am pissed, so, the little bad guys probably would have shot me or fed me to monsters real quick, after the 90th "with your bitch ass" comment.
See, that's 11 things without me actually thinking too hard. I'd be real dead, real fast, in the ST universe. Yes I would.
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who are your favorite fic authors and what fic have you written that you're most proud of?
oooh! This might be long. I'll do a few from the last few fandoms I've been active in for funzies.
Well, @pynkhues always and forever. She's one of the best writers I've ever read, period. It helps she writes for a living probably (her book, The Rabbits, is out now go buy it go go go). I was introduced to her via the Good Girls fandom and one my fave fics of hers that I have read probably 3 or 4 times is Cross your Fingers. She's an incredibly detailed writer who really understands the importance of setting and well-thought out character analysis. She is not a slacker lol She's such a gifted writer and I'm in awe of what she gives fandom for free. She's also a sweetheart and just a lovely human being over all. I adore her.
In the Lovecraft Country fandom, particularly the RubyxChristina ship, Leave It To the Davenports by @bandydear is the standout for me. It's one of the most creative, incredible, fantastic, magical, and sexy things I've ever read and it makes me sad that it isn't completed, but it is still incredible where it stands.
More recently, for the Hacks fandom, oh god, there are SO. MANY talented writers in this fandom.
@electric-eccentricity is...look, she knows this, but she's top three faves, easy. She's SUCH a sharp, funny writer and is just so fucking good at dialogue and characterization that it makes me feel violent. She's only written two Hacks fics but they're THAT fucking good.
@sapphicscholar hit the ground fucking running. Her most recent fic is an AU where Deborah is a judge in an America's Got Talent type show and Ava is a reluctant contestant, and it's AMAZING. It's funny, creative, and super sexy. Everything she writes is a hit. Makes my day every time she updates.
@skatehepburn is the baddest bitch. When she delivers, she DELIVERS. I've read let's build ourselves a fire like 8 fucking times. Ava and Deborah in a cabin during a snow storm, they bring the dogs. I'ts. Sigh. It's everything. It's so fucking good. She's so fucking good. Literally any story of hers you read you will love. So funny, so sweet and tender, and also hot AF. I can't say enough nice things. Just go read her stuff.
I'm going to do ONE MORE Hacks writer but trust me there are so many more. @ludling 's Ms Vance Buys the Flowers Herself is so good it makes me want to cry. The build-up is so delicious, and her handle on Deborah's voice is so fucking impressive. I personally find it very difficult to write from her POV so I'm blown away by this particular fic. It's fucking hilarious, it's perfectly angsty where it needs to be. The balance is perfection. (and the sex is hot af)
And IDK what fic I'm most proud of, anon! But i'm fairly happy with how no one ever called me smooth came out despite me being so fucking lazy at editing :) I also really love a Lovecraft Country fic I started called Lilac Wine that I hope to finish one day.
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You are retarded, lol. Ivermectin is a Nobel Peace Prize winning medicine (don't believe me, why don't you investigate yourself instead of listening to the liars at Reuters? https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/medicine/2015/campbell/lecture/ and here's another https://www.nobelprize.org/uploads/2018/06/campbell-lecture.pdf). There are so many studies and thousands of doctors around the world who are prescribing it to a nearly 100% success rate. But I get it, you'd rather inject an unknown gene therapy into your blood stream that's killed at least 14,000 people in America alone. You know, the thing that further destroys your immune system with every injection and contains ingredients like metal and aborted fetal cells (go look up the ingredient list, you coward). Here's one, just ONE study on Ivermectin, since your lazy ass can't be bothered to do any bit of research or thinking for yourself. I get it, it's so much easier to stare at Tumblr with your loser friends and bitch about how awful the world is, rather than stopping, looking, and thinking. I know your psychiatrist diagnosed you being a fool, but that doesn't mean you have to accept what you are. You can grow, change, and become a better, more informed person. You know, it might even lead you to becoming... happy. I know that's a foreign concept to you, but the Truth has a funny way of healing you from yourself. I hope you stop choosing to be a they/them goblin and come back to humanity. I promise, I'm doing this because I love you. <3 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7536980/ Also, another great resource is: https://www.nojabforme.info but you'll probably skim the first couple lines and be too scared to keep reading, so you'll deny all the cited evidence as a way to keep living in your fantasyland where all your opinions are right and everyone else is a bigot troll, lol
congrats! or sorry that happened idk I’m not reading all that.
anyway imagine having this much time on your hands. get a job
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☁︎ 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥 ☁︎
Summary // Its Tali's birthday and her brothers
Characters // Tali Flores + Miguel Flores (ft. NCT127+ Bang Chan + Karma Yoon + Song-ho + Allen.)
Era / Year // February 2017
Word Count //
Italics // English
"Out of all days...you just had to pick our birthday to model." Tali said shaking her head.
Tali accepted her brothers invitation to model with him in February but didn't know it was going to be on their birthday. She had to leave early so the boys won't stop her from going. She had to tell her manager to tell Nct 127 manager to tell the members she had a schedule today so they won't worry cause they took her phone because of hate comments.(yes ofc we totally love that)
Miguel chuckled at her and put his arm around her shoulders.
"Come on its been awhile and its been awhile since we have spent time together." He pointed out.
She rolled her eyes at him, but did have a point. His modeling career has been off the charts going to different countries to model at points she joins him but they haven't spent a lot of time together properly especially on birthdays, one always seems busy.
"Come on people lets get these twins changed we gotta start." The photographer shouted and people started to scramble.
She has forgotten how this type of modeling was like and its a lot work and longer too. Since usually its more like oh they get two outfits each 5 poses and only one place to stay go while this...this is multiple outfits, different changes, different makeup styles each and places changes.
She mentally groaned remembering all of this, since she sometimes modeled here and there with her brother since he wasn't yet comfortable with other people aka girls. She didn't mind at first but its been awhile since she did this.
After she came out of the dressing room with her outfit that people helped her put on, her brother clapped.
"What?" She raised an eyebrow at him.
"You look great."
"Oh tha-"
"Cause you look just like me." He said with such confidence cutting her off. Tali gave him such a dirty look.
"What?" He said questioning her dirty look.
"Nevermind, I'm just wondering how I'm related to you." She said looking him up and down and walked out of the dressing room. Miguel looked at her with a disbelief look on his face thinking, I forgot how much of a bitch she can be.
While Tali was walking out her manager got gave her the phone. It was Doyoung. She answered.
"Hi Doyoung."
"Hi princess, happy birthday."
"Aw thank you."
"The guys are wondering where you are, we wanna celebrate your birthday."
"Oh.." She quickly looked back at her manager signaling her to come back over. She covered the mic quickly.
"Did you tell the manager to tell the members that I have a schedule?"
"Yeah?"
"Then why is Doyoung calling me where I am."
"Just tell him you are on a schedule all day."
Her manager waved off, Tali huffed and went back to the phone.
"Uh, I'm at a schedule right now sorry."
"I know, but we wanna come over and visit."
"Oh.... I don't know where we are I slept half way here, let me ask if-" She turned to see her brother shaking his head no, she frowned and mouthed okay.
"Sorry. I can't have visitors." She said glaring at Miguel.
"Oh, when can you come back home?"
"I don't know, I'm sorry." Tali said apologetically.
"Oh Tali don't be sorry, we should its your birthday."
"Oh don't worry, I'm not alone its okay I will hopefully see you tonight I have to go, tell the guys I said hi."
"Will do Tali." She ended the call with a pout and turned to her brother.
"Really, I can't bring them?"
"Nope, this is a brother and sister bonding time, its been awhile since we modeled together lets go lazy ass." He said dragging her to the set.
"Yeah yeah, Im comin."
"Hyung?"
"Yeah?" Doyoung turned to Mark.
"Can we come over?"
Doyoung shook his head, all the members excitement went down drastically.
"Why not?" Taeyong asked quite upset, he wanted to see Talia.
"I don't really know, she just said no visitors allowed." Doyoung slouched in the couch.
"What is she doing anyway?" Haechan whinned.
"She is modeling." Their manager walked in past them to get water.
"Why? She didn't have a schedule for modeling yet." Taeyong said checking her schedule on his phone since she shares it with him because she has different schedules than them its easy to keep track of her so he knows when she gets home.
"She doesn't have it down, it was a favor for a family member, she accepted but she didn't know it was on her birthday she will comeback later don't worry." He waving it off.
The members were taken aback she never talks about her family so never thought she would do something for them especially model.
"Why modeling?" Jaehyun asked his manager.
"Because one of the family members is a model and asked her to model with them, you will see it in Vogue." He said walking off to his room.
The members eyes went big, they didn't think she had a family member that modeled especially one for vogue.
"I wonder how attractive her family is, like think about it." Yuta reasoned.
Everyone nodded Tali was pretty, what about her family?
"Final one Tali you two get to go home!" The photographer said happily. Tali smiled and so did Miguel.
It was almost dark.
"Happy birthday asshole." Tali said putting him in head lock.
"Happy birthday bitch." As he was about to tackle her on the ground the heard someone clear their throat. They looked up to see four familiar faces.
"Hey guys, what are you doing here." Miguel said while Tali was releasing him from the head lock.
"To say happy brithday to you two idiots." Karma said hugging Talia then Miguel.
"Yeah, questionable why you guys are working on your birthday." Chan said hugging both of them in a tight hug.
"Ask Miguel he dragged me here." Tali said hugging Allen then Song-ho. Song-ho shook his head at her.
"Well, we all wanna hangout for your birthday tonight you two up for that." Allen asked.
"Yeah but what time?" Tali asked wondering if she needs to sneak out.
"Around 1am." Allen said checking his phone.
"Why so late, not that I don't mind honestly probably Tali needs a breather." Miguel said eyeing Tali.
"We are gonnna celebrate at the spot." Song-ho smiled widely with the rest aswell remembering all the memories from there.
"Looks like I'm sneaking out." Tali said with a huff.
"Ooh, like usually." Miguel teasingly messing up her hair.
"I came to drop you off aswell Tali." Chan said grabbing her bag.
"Thank youu~, see you guys later and Allen."
"Yeah?"
"Pick me up at the corner instead."
"Okay."
With that she left with Chan.
"So, you gonna sneak out?" "Yup."
"This reminds me of highschool when you used to sneak out, and you still get all A's, you amaze me Tali." Chan said shaking his head.
"Wow flattery will get you no where Chan." She snickered
"Ah wait don't pull that trick on me." Chan warned her while she laughed.
"Have fun Tali, while you still can."
"Is this why you are actually allowing this to happen?" She raised an eyebow at him.
"Of course, but you know our deal." He said eyeing her.
"Of course of course until I'm 19 or Korean age practically 18. But I can't get drunk either way neither can you, if we do....we will end up in bed with someone." She said eyeing him suspiciously as they got the front entrence to the apartment. He turned to her with a are you kidding me face.
"I have no-" "shhhh, you said that last time and you ended up like that." She cut him off getting out of the car.
"I hate you Tali!" He shouted
"Oh shut up you love me." She said walking in laughing.
She got on the elevator with relief. Just really thinking of all the things that happened in her life good and bad.
She got out of the elevator and went to the 127 dorm since she figured they wanted her there. She opened the door it was dark, she thought they all went to sleep which was her luck to get really until the lights turned on and saw the members.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TALIA" They all yelled running up to her and hugging the life out of her.
"Happy birthday Talia." Haechan said back hugging her.
"Aww thank you guys."
"LETS CELEBRATE!" Johnny yelled
It was now 12:30 she was back at the dream dorm everyone was asleep and when I'm mean everyone I mean everyone. After Tali showered she saw everyone passed out not one soul awake she didn't party that much as she needed to go.
As usually she managed to actually leave without anyone noticing running down the stairs, and out the door she left.
Running down the block she saw a black car with 2 people in it who seem like Allen and Song-ho waving at her to jump in...literally.
She ran and jumped over the door and in the back seat as Allen pushed the gas and went to the spot where everyone is waiting. She felt the breeze going through her hair she hasn't felt that in a while. They stopped at a construction site and went up the stairs to see cake, balloons and a fire.
"Finally, I want some cake." Karma said walking next to her looping her arm with hers and pulling her to the cake.
"Okay lets Gooooo."
"Happpy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday Twins, Happy birthday to you."
They all sang. Then they both blew the candles.
"OKAY LETS EAT SOME CAKE." Allen yelled.
(Yes I know the bite for some people/ cultures, but Karma would kill them if they destroyed the cake.)
Song-ho, Karma, Allen and Miguel were drinking while Talia and Chan weren't.
"AY, why you guys not drinking, well Chan, I know why Tali is not." Allen asked quickly clarifying.
"Because I need to drive you and Tali home, and personally I would like to be conscious." Chan said matter a fact tone. Allen rolled his eyes at him so did the others.
"Come one lets go out I'm bored." Tali whined while pulling Chan.
"Okay okay, how about the park like we used too?"
Everyone nodded in agreement.
They were walking some airplaning down the street just goofing around. Tali sat on a swing with Allen looking at her.
"What is it?" Tali asked noticing him staring.
"....do you miss him?"
Tali was taken back.
"Yeah, yeah I do." She whispered but enough for him to hear, she knew who he was talking about.
"Wanna give him some flowers before we go any farther?"
Tali stopped swinging and thought about it for a moment.
"Sure its been awhile."
Allen smiled at her.
"HEY GUYS LETS GO VISIT 'HIM'!"
Everyone turned, knowing exactly who he was talking about. Everyone softened and smiled at the thought of visiting him.
"YEAH SURE." Karma yelled out loud walk towards them with Chan, Miguel and Song-ho.
"You think she is gonna be able to?" Karma whisper to the three boys before they reach Tali and Allen.
"Yeah...." Chan stopped for a second making Karma, Miguel and Song-ho look at him.
"She has to, if she wants to keep that promise."
#nct#nct 2020#nct additional member#nct dream#nct 127#nct u#nct au#nct dream 8th member#nct 24th member#nct female member#nct dream female addition#nct female oc#nct female addition#nct dream female member#nct doyoung#nct haechan#nct mark#nct taeyong#nct jaehyun#straykids bang chan#straykids karma#nct imagine#nct icons#nct fanfic#nct senarios#kpop female addition#nct tali
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Challenge 1
Special thanks to @damian-schreave and @hadleyjaneharper for the rps.
Also the last section is not in fic format because its 2am, im lazy, and you get the gyst from the RP. Apperantly this is too long so part 2 soon.
The Prince was off in Paloma for a bit so we were of little use in the Palace, no idea why they had us move in so early. Therefore, I’d spent most of the day with some books I’d grabbed from the library. Primarily they were legal books since it never hurts to brush up. But every once in a while, such as now I’d need to go and grab some food.
I brought my notepad and a book on contract law with me and walked into the kitchen. There was another girl also in the kitchen. We haven't spoken to each other, she didn’t seem unfriendly or particularly awful company, just hadn’t really had the moment to. I grabbed a plate of fruit and wondered if she would say anything. After a moment I sat down and resumed reading.
Then a small sad sigh came from the young woman who was looking down at her phone with a sad face. It wouldn’t be too bad if I took a break for some conversation. However, the young woman looked troubled, she may not be in the mood. I yawned and stretched then mumbled, but loud enough for her to hear, “God, I could use a drink.” and wondered if the other would take the bait.
There was a beat before the other spoke, “Long day?”
“More or less. Lots of reading, missing work. How about yourself?”
She shrugged “Its...different than what I’m used to. Lots of sitting still when I’m used to spending my days moving around.” SHe grimaces then sighed, “The adjustment period is always the toughest, though.”
I thought for a moment trying to remember the occupations of the selected, “The dancer?” I asked.
She grinned “Yeah. Hadley.” She raised an eyebrow, “And you?”
“Lawyer.” I said and stood from the table, walked over to Hadley and held her hand out, “Savannah Mars, Labrador, three.”
She shook my hand, “Nice to meet you.” then thought for a moment, “You said you were missing work? Do you work at a law firm?”
“Kinda. I work for the Illean Civil Liberties Union in their legal division. It's a non-profit which focuses on civil rights and for me civil legal cases. Lgbt+ rights defense, domestic defense, that sort of thing.”
“Oh, that’s really cool.” She said, seeming actually interested in my work. “Are you missing the casework, or something else?”
“It's pretty hard for me to step back from my work. Since I'm kind of left worrying about my clients. A new guy took over my cases but I'm trying to still work in my own way by studying up on some legal sections I work in less frequently but still may come up. Such as contract law.” I explained not fully hearing her other question.
She nodded, “I understand, sort of. I’m left worrying about how my ballet company is going to perform, with somebody else taking over the role in the Nutcracker that I’ve had the past few years.”
“Yeah the transition really is nerve wracking. Have you seen them perform though?” I asked hoping that could at least provide some solace.
“I’ve seen pictures on Instagram, but no videos yet. We were just finishing up our performance of Cinderella when I left. Nutcracker rehearsal started a few days after, but it’s a show we do each year, so... “ She sighed “ It /should/ be fine.”
I nodded, “well if they assigned them the role try and have faith in their qualifications. That's what I'm keeping in mind for mine. They did go to law school so it's fine. They got the role so it’s fine.” I said partially for her and partially for me.
She sighed a little hesitant, “Yeah, you’re probably right. Competition is just gonna be a bitch and a half when I’m sent back.” She chuckled wryly.
“Well maybe you'll win and then you won't have too. Who’s gonna take a role away from the future queen of Illea.”
“That’s extremely unlikely to happen.” She then almost smirked “What about you? If you win, nobody’s going to tell you no in a courtroom.”
I laughed, “If I win I'll kill myself.” Then I realized how dark that sounded, though it didn’t seem to phase her.
“I hate to say that I feel the same way, but…” She shrugged and nodded, “I feel the same way” For a moment I was confused, why would she join if she felt the same way? Then it clicked, a dancer would be a five, lower class, need the money.
“You're a five right? Did you apply for the money? If you don't mind my asking that is. It would just make sense why you'd dislike to win.”
“It…” She bit her lip, “Kind of? It’s a long story involving a deadbeat mom, a shitty health care system, two starving artists, and a kid with leukemia.” She said with an apologetic smile. Whatever she’d be apologizing for I can’t say.
“Well shit man, I'm glad you got in then. Both for the money and for a break from that. I know this society fucking sucks and we've got a likely shit for brains hier, but if you ever need a lawyer I'm here to help. Hopefully, being a three now will provide some help for you too.” I said then caught myself making a mental note to not be so vulgar with my language.
She gave me a small smile, “Thanks. Now I just have to figure out what I’m doing with the rest of my life, after throwing my career into dance, only to become a Three.” She laughed, “What about you? Why did you enter? It sounds like you had a pretty cushy gig going on.”
It wouldn’t be smart to tell the truth, but lying when Hadley had been so open felt wrong, I sighed and said, “My brother. Basically he forged my entry and I didn't want him to get into legal troubles for that. He's a fucking idiot.” I sighed and let that last cuss word slide as he is a fucking idiot.
She snorted, “Men really do only have two brain cells.” She gave a small smile, “I’m sorry that you ended up in that situation, though. That’s rough.”
“Yeah. I tried to beat him up but my other brothers stopped me. It was really a mess. Had to find out from a waitress asking for a photo with me.”
She shook her head, “My best friend told me that he was so upset to see me, “throwing my life away,” as if I hadn’t entered to help him and his brother.” Sounds like an ungrateful ass. She sighed and looked down at her fruit, “When did life get this messed up?”
A question with too big of an answer. A bit panicked and not knowing what to say I took a strawberry off my plate and held it out to her, “Fruit?”
She chuckled and took the strawberry, “Thanks.” She takes a bit, chews, and then pauses, looking at Savannah, “You know what I could really go for right now, though? A good gin and tonic.”
“God that'd be great. You know what, let's make some. One glass can't hurt.”
She shrugged, “Sure, sounds fun. I’m down.” She looks around, “I know they keep the wine in that cabinet, but I haven’t found the liquor yet.”
After gathering our ingredients we get to work making the glasses, “so, what's your plan in all this?”
“In the selection?” She raises an eyebrow and then shrugs, she starts pouring things into the mixer bottle, “Stay here for as long as I can so I keep making stimulus checks, and then get sent home before I’m stuck spending the rest of my life here.” She finishes pouring and looks at Savannah, “You?”
I sighed, “about the same. Give the money to the non-profit I work for. I was hoping I could root for you to win, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders to influence him, but the more I think about it the more I realize that's like damning to hell.
She snorts, “Well, I still appreciate the compliment, and I would’ve said the same about you.” Then she sighs, “I’ve always known that it’s been like this, though. He gets to squander every penny he has on luxury shit, whereas my paychecks…” another sigh, “But life isn’t fair.”
“Yeah. And then waste the money on useless shit and trying to pass dumb laws like making 'cats' illegal instead of actually fixing the problems in this country.” I said and poured myself a glass of the drink.
She poured some for herself and then shook her head with an eye roll, “Don’t even get me started on that debacle. Why even joke about things like that?”
“Because he doesn't comprehend how the people of his own country are suffering. He's just so blind with privilege. Not that I have much to speak on but at least I freaking try to think about others in the country and their situations.”
She gave me a small smile, “You didn’t seem like the type to blow your money on worthless things to me, at all. I don’t even know what I’m going to say to him when we have that interview in a few days.”
“Yeah I think im just gonna be polite for the sake of not causing a scene that'll haunt me my whole life” I said and took a sip, then clarified, “polite though, not kind.”
She nodded then drank too, “I really went from putting on one type of show for Twos to another.”
“Any idea what you're gonna do as a three?” I asked.
She pursed her lips and shook her head, “I haven’t taken a science or maths class since I was eleven, and I don’t have the money for university. I guess I could work as a translator, or if that doesn’t work out, marry a five and go back to dancing.” She took another sip of her drink, “Hopefully I’ll be here long enough to figure it out.”
“Do they not have like threes who are dance teachers? I haven't really looked much into the area myself but it may make sense.”
She shook her head, “For me, at least, it was mostly Russian immigrants who were former dancers themselves, so Fives.”
I thought for a moment, “Well if you ever need history lessons, english, or legal aid I'm around. I dug into my pocket and pulled out a business card, since it’s not like either of us plan to be here long, “Just all the way up in Labrador. Where are you from again?”
“Allens. So, not too far. Thanks.” She replied and looked at the card.
“Welcome.” I replied, finished off my drink then wrote down another idea.
Hadley narrowed her eyes curiously, “What are you writing?”
“Just an idea for a proposition with the ICLU. There are probably other girls in a similar situation as you being lower caste now upper be it through marriage or selection, it may be helpful to talk about implementing a caste readjustment program.”
She lifted her head, smiling just a little, “That sounds like a great idea.” Then a little quieter she added, “I'd appreciate it.”
“Hopefully my boss will agree and pass it onto the innovation department. I'll write a quick memo about it to her later.” I smiled happy to have something to do.
“You really love your job, don't you?” She asked.
I nodded, “It makes me feel like I have some kinda purpose. As cheesy as that is to say.” Making actual change in Illea instead of just prancing around doing whatever else I could have grown up to do.
“No, I get that.” She looked down, “As a kid, I never really felt like I belonged, but on the stage, dancing?” She looked a little distant, “Standing out was a good thing.”
I nodded, “Mhm. Have you thought of ways you could continue working while at the palace?”
She smiled, “Actually, I had a conversation with Prince Eaton about that, and I’ve been able to work out a schedule that allows me to still practice, even though I have to do a little more work to catch up on lessons.”
“That'll be good. If you wanted too you could put on a performance and donate the profits. That way you could be working towards a goal too instead of general practice.”
She tilted her head, “That's an interesting idea. I’ll keep that in mind.”
I nodded, “Well it was nice meeting you, Lady Hadley. But it is probably time for me to get back to work.” Then held out my hand to shake goodbye.
She took it, giving it a shake. “Nice to meet you too.”
It was pretty late in the afternoon by the time I was escorted to the interview room. Damian was in a navy blue suit jacket, dress pants, and a white button up shirt. He smiled at me as I got closer. His eyes flicker to my nametag for a second before he speaks, “Hello, Lady Savannah. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person.”
I smiled trying to stay polite, then gave a small curtsy, “The same to you, your highness.”
He smiled back, taking a few steps back and gestured for me to go into the interview room. In the room is a sofa, surrounded by stage lights and a few cameras, what a romantic first meeting. There is one camera on a swivel stand, that is currently focused on Damian and I. He starts walking into the room, looking at me as he talks, "How have you found your first few days here, so far?"
I debated giving him a short one word answer of 'fine' but Danny's words of 'don't ruin your own happiness" slipped into my head. "They've been fine. I've enjoyed your library. It's helped me feel like I can in some ways continue working by catching up on legal matters normally outside of my areas of expertise."
He nodded while smiling then took a seat on the sofa, "So you're a lawyer, then? What kind of law do you practice?"
Reluctantly I sat next to him, hopefully I wouldn't catch an STD from proximity alone, "Yes, I practice primarily civil and criminal law with the Illean Civil Librities Union. So primarily defending people who are in bad situations due to outdated laws which need amending." My tone came out more passive aggressive than intended, but it was slightly justified as he should have been working to amend said laws and help people instead of partying.
"That's a great thing, to be doing. What got you into law?"
"Well I was at the University of Labrador. My best friend I'm the sorority I was in decided to go to a protest over women's rights in illea. We went, someone man came and antagonized some women, she defended herself verbally, got arrested, felt up by the officer, then was unable to do anything legally about it. I felt that was unfair so I decided to look into being a lawyer, liked the process, graduated in 2 years, went to Yale and here I am."
He lets out a low whistle, looking down for a second. I couldn't help but be a but prideful at my accomplishment, then looks back up at me, more serious than before, his jaw tense, "I'm really sorry that happened to your friend." He said and fell silent. What a conversation killer.
"It's fine." I said trying not to dwell on it, "How was your time in undergrad? Partied a lot, I saw." I said the passive agressiveness coming out again.
He smiled, a little more relaxed than before, but not as relaxed as he was when he first entered the room, "I enjoyed my last few years of freedom before entering the real world, yes." He then raised his eyebrows, grinning a little wider, kind of teasing, "And what about you? Being in a sorority and all, I doubt you were much of a homebody yourself."
I couldn't help but completely flush and bit down my urge to absolutely smack him upside the head. "It was a brief phase. It was fun. But also a waste of time." I chuckled a bit remembering my airheaded behavior in that year, "had I already been working harder I may have been able to finish faster and help more people."
He grinned a little at how flustered I was, which just made me want to punch him more, then smiled a little more genuinely towards the end, "We're still young. We have our whole lives to keep fixing things."
i frowned, "That isn't true. We never know when we're going to die. Something could always happen so we should be trying to help as much as we can. Not to mention while we" I paused after my slip of the tongue, but didn't correct it "partied in undergrad people were suffering who could have been helped."
There's a flicker of a frown on his face when I mentioned how short life is, but he lets it go, tilting his head when he looks at me, "We can't save everyone. That's impossible. We can try to do as much as we can, but there will always be more people in need of help.
"Partying isn't trying."
He raised his eyebrows, "You didn't even know you wanted to be a lawyer, back when you were partying in college."
I got kinda flustered again, he's right, there's no logically sound way to win. Yeah but I should have, I wish I had. Would have made the time a lot less regrettable." I said then cleared my throat, "Though, this is a bit of a heavy topic for our first meeting, don't you agree? Your- Damian." I barely corrected myself from saying Your Highness.
He chuckled, "A bit, but it's different from the surface level talk about work and provinces." He inclined his head, "Though, if you think about it, you never would have discovered your passion for law if you hadn't joined your sorority." He shrugged and gave a stupid grin which made me blush even more.
Finally I snapped and turned to point a finger at him, "You won okay. I can't regret something if I didn't know to do something better, but that doesn't make topless jello shots any less of an embarrassing memory." I exclaimed then heard what I said and wished to curl into a ball and die.
He chuckled a little, "We all have our moments. It's okay."
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door then, and a guard pokes his head in. Damian nods at him, then turns and looks at me, "Unfortunately, we'll have to exchange stories another time. It appears our time today is up."
I sighed in relief at my rescue, then mumbled under my breath, "Thank God." I stood to curtsy, "Your-" I cringed a bit at the error, "Damian."
He chuckled again, "It was a pleasure to meet you Savannah. Until next time." He smiled at me when we got to the door, and stopped in the doorway.
I smiled back politely, "Thank you for the conversation. Till next time."
*savy was taking a break from her work and decided to out for a walk in the gardens. She had always been a fan of taking runs when stressed snd the gardens were providing a peaceful alternative. She was walking around when she thought she saw a bunny in the bushes. Being the gal she is she wanted to see it closer so she stepped off the path and walked into the gravel. Immediately her heel sank in the gravel. She lost her balance for a moment but didnt fall. Instead she panicked. She debated stepping out of her shoes to get it out but she didnt wanna hurt her skin on the gravel. Instead she tried to wiggle it loose and hopped no one was near*
*rip savannah, but Damian is out distressing by playing basketball at that point in time, and from where he's standing as he shoots this basket, he can see someone clearly struggling with something in the gardens. he can't see who it is, or what the problem is, but he figures he should go check it out. he tucks the basketball under one arm, jogging towards the person he can see, calling out* Hey, everything okay?
*savannah hears him call out an knows immediately it's the last person in the world she'd want to find her like this* Absolutely peachy! *calls back and debates ditching the shoes*
*he slows to a stop when he gets closer, his eyes going from savannah's face to her foot* Mmm, looks like you've got yourself in a bit of a sticky situation, there.
*is extremely flustered* no situation at all. I said I'm fine. *aggressively wiggles the heel and almost trips so she squeaks but manages to catch herself*
*when he sees her almost trip, he lunges forwards to catch her before she hits the ground, but then she catches herself, so he's like "oh was that for nothing?" he looks down at the shoe, furrowing his brows, thinking* Here, let me help with that, before you actually fall.
I'm not going to fall and I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of defeating some gravel on my own
*he takes a step back* Alright... if you insist... *hes not going anywhere, just watching her, waiting to see what she'll do*
*huffs when she doesnt hear him walk away and continues to wiggle then huffs when shes not getting anywhere* Fine. If you're just going to stand there anyways you may as well help.
*he chuckles, setting the basketball down on the ground, kneeling down to look at the gravel and the heel, before beginning to dig the heel out with his fingers* Not the best shoes to walk off the path in.
*rolls her eyes* I didn't think about that. I thought I saw a bunny and got distracted
*he can't help but raise his eyebrows at that, grinning, twisting the heel a little to unscrew it from the gravel* Was it at least a cute bunny?
*his tone is a little teasing*
It was cute, be careful with your tone though when your face is near my foot. *once its free she steps back on the path so she doesn't sink again*
*he chuckles, joking* What, are you planning on giving me a royal nose job with your shoe?
You could probably use one. *offers a hand to help him stand back up*
*he picks up his basketball, taking her hand, still grinning at her, teasing* Maybe it's just the angle you've been looking at it from.
*stands on her tiptoes looking at his nose* Nope. It's a little off. Nose job it is.
*she pinches his nose* its a big flaw. Doubt you'll be able to get a wife like that
*he chuckles* I don’t know, my nose has never gotten in my way before
*considers* You're right, I'm sure that was just your sense of responsibility that got in the way.
*he raises his eyebrows* You know, I’ve never turned in an assignment late, or anything for work late. Never asked for an extension.
I somehow find that doubtful. Your reputation of being a loose partier precedds that of a responsible duitiful person.
Well, it’s the truth. *he shrugs* If you’re really curious, you could email my professors. It’s all about finding a balance. *he smiles*
*grumbles because he seems to be honest about it* What did you even study?
I dual majored in political science and marketing. You?
*sighs in relief* at least you werent a buisness major. Political Science and History for me on a prelaw track.
*he nods, smiling, genuinely curious* Did you prefer one over the other?
Probably political science. I mean I love history it's why I added it. For fun since it's just like learning stories and seeing the modern day impact of said stories. But political science felt more efficient. Like it helped me have a better understanding of the philosophy of political thinking which has helped me a lot in law. Plus I just liked the professors more.
*he smiles* Understandable. Good professors make it so much easier to learn the content
*smiles* yeah and lots and lots of highlighters. Did you have a favorite topic in political science?
*grinning* I took a really cool course on comparative political economies - I really like the economic side of things. That, and the classes I had to take on international politics. *he looks over at savannah* What about you?
Probably civil politics. I've always been a fan of civil work. I honestly thought about working for the AFEI instead of the ICLU but decided I wanted to do more personal legal work than policy legal work. But it's always been the work that has interested me more since it's important to bring up civil conflicts within the country and try to help as much as possible. But learning about where we came from in terms of The United States vs the civil policies of Illea was an interesting course for me, especially because of the overlap of History and Political Science.
*he nods as she talks, thinking that all over* I think work guided what classes I liked as well. Because beyond national politics, I also have to think about international politics, trade agreements, and maintaining Illéa’s position in the world.
*seems slightly surprised* so you actually liked your major? I assumed you just were kinda forced to pick it
I was kind of forced to, but I could still pick the classes that interested me more. *He shrugs* Plus I really enjoyed my marketing major.
*thinks for a moment* Can I ask you something and have an honest answer? No bullshit PR answer. I'm just trying to figure out if we can trust you to be our future king through this, at the very least.
Sure *he nods, pursing his lips a little* Ask away.
Do you actually want to be the king of this country? Like aside from the perks you have from it, do you care about the work?
I do care. *he pauses, swallowing* I really do. It’s just...it’s a lot of pressure to accept from a young age.
*she thinks for a moment* Noted. Thank you for your honesty. *Looks at the basketball* Do you play much?
*he smiles kind of sadly* Not as much as I used to. I’ve gotten a little busy helping to run the country, and such.
*gets an idea* Do you wanna make a bet with me?
*he grins* Depends on what it is
Basketball. I'm working on a program right now with the ICLU, a coworker wants to come visit me and discuss about it but appreantly work visits aren't allowed during this. If I can get more hoops in you'll arrange that?
*he furrows his brows* Better yet, I could just organize for your coworker to visit under the guise of another event going on. Just give me a few weeks to work out the details.
*kinda chuckles because shes competitive* oh? Youre scared you'll lose? But if that's what you prefer
*he laughs* No, I just know I’d win, and I’d hate to deny you the ability to see your coworker
Fine. You'll set up the meeting, then I'll just prove to you that I would win had their beem stakes.
*he narrows his eyes at her, extending a hand to shake, still grinning* Deal
*shakes it firmly then kicks off her heels planning to walk to the court barefoot.* Would be an unfair advantage for me to still be in them
*he raises his eyebrows* Why, they helped square up the height difference between us, at the very least *he chuckles*
*almost elbows him over that but barely stops herself* I don't need that help. I'm perfectly capable of crushing you independent of my shoes
*he laughs* I played basketball in uni, you know?
As did I. Well- not in a club. A guy who I was *ponders for a moment* acquainted with, played it therefore I played with him and his friends fairly often
*he raises his eyebrows* And how tall was your acquaintance? Because I’m used to playing with people my height, but also my mom and sister, who are - *he puts his hand somewhere around his shoulder because they’re 5’4” and 5’5”* - about this tall
He was around 6'3. His friends the same or more. Don't worry I'm well aware of the disadvantage of my height and very prepared to utilize it
*he chuckles* Oh, I’ve got to see this. *when they get to the court he starts dribbling the ball casually, walking towards the middle of the court* Do you want to start with the ball, or should I?
*thinks for a moment and puts her shoes down on the edge of the court and rolls up the bottoms of her dress pants a bit* You can start with it.
*he raises his eyebrows at her rolling up her dress pants, but he nods* Okay, if you insist. *he waits until he’s ready before starting the play*
*she walks up prepared to steal since she cant block*
*he starts dribbling more seriously, quickly maneuvering around her, taking three large steps with the ball, and then shoots a basket, and it goes in*
*she kinda huffs about that dislikes. But once he has the ball again she tries again, this time getting it and doing her UNDER THE LEGS MOVE AND SHOOTS*
*he turns around, a little in shock* That is not a legal move!
Hmmm *puts her finger to her chin very smug* I dont think it explicitly says in the rules that you're not allowed too. You use your height I'll use mine *VERY SMUG*
*he narrows his eyes* Fine, best 2 out of 3? Whoever gets this next shot wins, then
*SHES BEING COCKY NOW* Aw is the wittle princey calling it quits so soon? His fragile ego damaged? *bats her eyes teasingly*
*he narrows his eyes* Fine, best three out of five, then. *he starts dribbling the ball right from here he is, and it’s a long shot to his basket from there, but he’s pretty confident, so he goes for it, and somehow it actually goes in. he raises his eyebrows at her* Still think you’re gonna win?
*crosses her arms* That was luck. *goes to get the ball since shes closer*
Or just sheer skill. *he smirks a little*
*turns to face him just to roll her eyes and gets the ball. She then dribbles it back to the middle or something idk how basketball works*
*he follows her to the middle, standing in front of her, knees bent in that “ready” position idk wtf it’s called lmao*
*that position makes knees wide so she dribbles and goes to do her fast under the leg move again*
*he sees it coming this time, and takes a few steps back, keeps his arm in front of him to reach for the ball, which he gets, and then dribbles across to the the hoop he has to score in, taking the shot, and watching it go in again. he grabs the ball as it bounces back up, raising his brows at savannah* One more, or are you good? *he grins a little*
*huffs again and crosses her arm* Fine we'll call it at 3 to 1. But in my defense it's been awhile.
*he grins* Well, you’re always welcome to practice out here with me, if you want.
I can't tell if you're being taunting or not *rolls her eyes and walks up to him then holds out her hand to shake for the end of the game*
*he takes her hand and shakes, then gives her a genuine smile* No taunting. I mean it. I’d love to have someone new to play with.
I'll consider it then. I am getting slightly bored of your homes running path for exercise.
*smiles back even tho she doesnt wanna because it was a nice offer*
*he tilts his head from side to side* Yeah, the running trail through the gardens is kind of short. There are better ones /in/ Angeles, if you ever want to check them out
Not sure I'm allowed to just waltz on out of here, but I'd love the names of any you know. My grandmother lives near her so I'm sure I'll be visiting soon enough after this if not immediately so.
*he shrugs* I could also drive you sometime, if you want. I /do/ have a car.
*seems a bit surprised* You know how to drive?
*he furrows his brows* Of course! I got my license as soon as I was legally allowed to.
But its not like you need too? Don't you have like drivers?
*he looks a little confused and taken aback* I’m sure some exist, but why would I want someone else to drive me when I could be free and drive myself?
I'm not sure. I just know rich people, like for example my cousin *mumbles for a moment to find the phrasing* So my grandmother is in charge of the Mars Candy Corporation. My mom's older brother Nathaniel will be taking over it, his kids also my cousins all have drivers. They're like twenty something now but Jackson is always bragging about how he doesn't have to take the effort to drive himself places. I just assumed other people who could afford them would have them, especially busy people who could work instead of drive.
*he blinks* Wow, I never even would have considered that. *he shakes his head* No, I like driving. Being able to roll the windows down and blast the music...it’s like a few moments of freedom. *he shrugs, smiling a little sadly*
*she noticed the smile then something clicks* so freedom is your vice. You act out to feel free, thus the partying. You mentioned earlier the responsibility of being a prince being am influence on the partying. A lack of freedom makes sense. *she knows shes getting too personal but her curiosity and worry for the future gets the best of her* But what does that mean you're going to do when you're king? You'll have even less. How do you plan to maintain that restriction without bursting and needing freedom?
*he stiffens a little at her analysis because damn it’s spot on, but sighs towards the end* Getting as much out of life as I can now. I always knew what my future held for me. So I can plan accordingly. *he forces a small grin, trying to joke* Besides, with any luck, I’ll be old and almost out of energy by the time I’m king.
*furrows her eyebrows concerned* That doesn't work. *sighs* Believe me I'd know. But we aren't wired to run off memories. Instead we develop habits and coping mechanisms. Everyone snaps from time to time, you'll go back to what made you happy last. For you I assume that'll be partying. Which is something you can't do as king, and assuming it wont be till your old isn't right either, regardless of if that was a joke it's not something that you can lean on since millions of people could be relying on you and you'd be unprepared. You are going to be king, You are not going to have freedom, you are going to be under immense pressure and responsibility, honest answer, what are you going to do when you need to snap?
*he narrows his eyes at her, this time more out of irritation than anything else, and he’s a little sarcastic* Gee, thanks for the reminder. Though, for the record, I /haven’t/ partied since uni, and I have no plans to in the near future. So perhaps I’ll rely on my other coping mechanism, such as basketball, or taking a drive.
Yeah well it's the truth and uni wasn't that long ago. It's hard to break habits. I mean I partied like 4 times a month in undergrad and I still use it. That was forever ago but that's not how humans work. You're gonna lean on what you've leaned on. You're going to get shitfaced, you're going to want what you used to have, you're gonna idolize those times in uni and want them back. But you're not going to have it and it's going to be hard and shitty but you have to tough it out because of the country that relies on you and this is proving to me that you're not going to be a reliable King for the people who need you.
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