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pinktatertots99 · 3 years

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🔥 Feelings on the canon ships of Homestuck?

Send Me a 🔥+ a Topic, and I’ll Tell You My Honest Opinion About It

god am i gonna need to go with the sequals too? just og or all ships that’re considered canon by the end? whatever i’ll just go in order in what might be the ‘canon’ ships from all three of these categories. this is gonna be fucking long so anything and everything is under the cut. also i’m SO not gonna add hiveswap that can be its own separate ask. so:

roxygen: it’s a cute ship...but the sequal vers is garbage considering how inconsiderate roxy is to john’s feelings and his house burning down like damn rox this is the guy who sat with ya as ya mourned doom rose’s death give the guy some fuckin time himself.

rosemary: also cute ship...sequal versions are fuckin godawful tho. their barely a thing in meat from wha i can gather and then there’s candy...oh CANDY kanaya deserves better fuck this sense of her sayin she’s over it idc if it was off screen, even then half the cast ate stupid pills during that time so WHY must i be surprised that this is wha happens?

dave/kat: i dun like it. in either universe. meat is just perfect gay bois who have occasional deep talks and literally do nothing else while candy they split up thanks to jade which, geez ya guys must’ve been shit to tell her to fuck off like come on. og hs wise i barely consider them canon if we only get pictures and them just being on equal footing on quadrant talk. not to mention dave implied to be crushing on jade and JOHN not karkat, idk where this couple even came from other then love triangle situation with terezi but like, that’s barely much of a reason to become canon. i’d go with em bein pale/moirails more.

jadedave: i’m guessing candy and meat i thought meat implied they were dating but may aswell. so....it sucks but thats because candy and meat suck, meat dave’s basically cheating on her i didnt hear any implication they broke up and she’s like...chill??? and then there’s candy where she literally forced him and kar to break up and dated after dirk apparently died, i do not like the implications of this whole thing. course candy dave is dead and a robot now so...anyways canon wise dave had a crush on her and if jade does like him i’d hope it’s not cause of davesprite cause despite both being dave’s they were different. it’s cute otherwise.

davepetajade: it’s...cute? i guess? idk i kinda found davepeta a bit...idk overwhelmingly overrated? like i know where their popularity came from but readin the series now after all that hype i dont really see it anyways tho it’s basically davespritejade with nepeta in the mix. and idk nothin implied much of nepeta liking jade, or talkin to her much. and davepetasprite is a mesh of both so idk. it’s a ship with cute fanon works of em hanging with outfits but that’s bout it.

janejake: i hate it. legit. this is disgusting and completely throws out jane’s character. like even in the fixed timeline the talk she had with dirk probably still happened on the god bed’s and how she acknowledged wha she thought was wrong on wantin jake’s kids and so on trickster still happened and how she also realized she might’ve overhyped jake. but lets throw it ALL out the window to force jake in an unhappy marriage in both universes and possibly force him to stay in candy due to having tavvy if i’m reading the implications right. even then jake isn’t good for jane either both got their own needs this ship would’ve been sunked in canon and WAS but the sequals are beyond it so maybe that explains it but it disgusts me.

roseterezi: guess in meat specifically. yeah i kinda dont...care for it, like i still cant tell if rose and kanaya broke up or if she just fucked off without breaking up either one is fucked up on kan’s behalf. even then i just dont care for their kismesis it got brought up once and that was it.

jaderose: candy wise i guess even tho it was a fling. it disgusts me still mostly because of kan’s behalf on bein fucked over and both goin through a ‘surrogation’ process without her notice. like fuck this shit the jaderose fans deserve better.

roxycallie: idk if this one’s canon but it’s heavily implied callie lives with roxy least in candy. it’s cute, cant deny it even in og it was pretty cute, dont really care for candy vers tho but then again maybe their not a couple in it idk what’s canon couples anymore.

johnterezi: literally fucked in meat universe and john has kismesis feelings for her in canon. it’s...interesting, idk tho i feel like it’s one sided on john’s side.

ms paint/spade slick: i cant deny it’s cute, he’d least know how to treat a lady but god i’d hope it wouldnt be his only defining trait with her. also want ms paint to call his bullshit out pls and thanks.

dirkjake: honestly i cant tell if their STILL canon in og or not god forbid the sequals. in general though...i dont. i honestly dont really like em together much. they seem like the type to least stay friends but idk bout another relationship would be a good idea for em. maybe later down the line but otherwise canon wise they need a break.

and now for the canon one timer ships this involves any ships implied, uncomfirmed, ex-relationships, crushes, etc:

arasol: it’s cute, best ship. their quadrant was never confirmed but regardless their cute. sol tho in the sequals deserved better then to get abandoned by aradia goddamn.

fefsol: also cute, i live for both of em bein ass’s together.

erisol: oh boi this one...this was...yeah i cant even deny they wouldnt be too healthy, i like lookin at fanon ways tho for em. canon wise tho yeaaaah no these guys definietly wouldnt work.

gamtav: it’s...cute but boi gamzee needs some help i think.

gamsol: -sollux did imply he either wanted a kismesis or matesprit with him in one of the flashes- again same as gamtav.

aradia/equius: BIG NOPE nope nope nope equi that’s weird wha ya did never do it again thank fuck aradia hasnt been around him since.

karterezi: their actually kinda cute, looking back on em they could’ve worked. stupid doomed timeline bullshit.

daverezi: also kinda cute, idk tho if i got flushed for em tho i get more pale vibes but it was semi-a thing.

kanvris: it’s baaaaad kanaya deserves much better and vriska never seemed much the type for cementing into a relationship.

vristav: even worse, like i’d like to thank fuck tav one up-ed her in the end cause fuck wha he had to go through.

karmeenah: it...could be cute? maybe? only iffy part is the ages, i thought the dancestors were like sixteen tho since the kids said they were teenagers even tho they were at the time about fourteen? idk tho if eighteen is considered an adult in alternia or not tho it’s kinda implied to be? anyways tho it’s just off puttin maybe a bit tho.

meenahvris: it’s kinda cute, it was atleast, idk lookin back it does feel more unhealthy.

rufidama: baaaaaad i love rufi but he’s got some bullshit he needs worked out and damara deserves someone better.

rufihorr: just as bad as above, both deserve someone better or atleast horrus does with some therapy on it rufioh i think should just chill on relationships but it’s so obvious their not meant to be.

mitula: it’s cuuuuuute i cant deny it, ...okay fanon vers is canon is barely anything and tula does give more pale implications for tuna but with how protective she was over damara near him it’s sweet, but god do i wish canon tuna gave more feelings for tula.

kantula: it’s...creepy. like it’s so obvious the vantas bois cant communicate well but kankri’s crush feels almost pressuring on tula when he kept goin about them and goin “oh but we’re totally friends and i’m celibate so it’s okay its whatevs” like kan go to a corner give tula some air to breath.

crotuna: BIG NOPE cronus needs to learn fuckin boundaries thirsty fish bastard.

should i even add cro//eri due to the fact he literally asked an eridan out? regardless gross, ew, no, i’ll take the fanon ampora brothers anyday canon i didnt fuckin need that thx.

porrnea: it was implied to be more of a fling. idk considerin aranea’s track record i cant really say i’d trust her in many flushed quads. and porrim seems the type to have hers open and not a closed off thing so idk they got different cases.

aranea/jake: i cant deny it’s fuckin cute, i’d would’ve loved if they tried to do somethin but aranea was definietly uhhh not a good choice for jake. least she backed off when he didnt wanna be kissed but man yeah, it was cute while it lasted.

kurmeu: i cant deny the idea kur forced himself quiet due to hurting meu hurts me in a sweet way but as of rn them bein ‘pale’ and him mind controllin her when we dunno if she’s alright with this or not is...disturbing.

vristerezi: i am HIGHLY doubtful this is canon considering everything but i guess i gotta cement this. i dont see em as canon in og or sequal wise since vris is still gone in both, even then i dont like, see it, i see it but idk man i like em more pale then pail.

erifef: honestly no. both are much too different for a relationship, kinda glad they uh...got cut short cause honestly even their moirailship wasnt healthy what’s to say a matespritship would? on BOTH sides mind you.

rosejohn: thank karkat’s shipping board. anyways, i think their cute cause fuck it rose is a bi-con to me, canon wise probably wouldnt work but i’ll take fanon.

vriseri: kinda glad they got cut short of their kismesis cause boi eridan deserves a better one with how shit vriska was in breaking up with him.

johnvris: it was cute, i cant deny i’m soft over how the two talked things about vriska’s life and john’s it’s just kinda cute. it’s obvious tho canon wise with wha john went through it wont work out. would’ve loved if they became moirails tho but o well canon is god i guess.

spadePM: i dont like much of their implications, would be an unhealthy relationship regardless considerin spade’s flushed and PM’s pitch, they deserve some therapy and other people.

dadbert/momlonde: their cute i like the implications of em, sad they died though, it was cute while it lasted.

meowrails: may aswell count moirails in this shipping mess. anyways their cute, they gimmie sibling vibes course equius early into it was so...not a good moirail.

kurtuna: i guess it might be cute moirails? idk tho with kurloz’s implications it concerns me.

gamkar: as moirails...karkat was fuckin shit at his job i cant sugarcoat it. i get where it’s from he’s not gam’s lusus and shouldn’t be forced to check on him during his time of gettin high and such, i get they were kids, but god gam kinda deserved a better moirail. and then later on in the series it gets more fucked up between kar gettin stabbed by him and both in a pretty unhealthy moirailationship to the fixed timeline where gamzee is just shut into a fridge and kar doesnt fuckin care, like dude, wow. gamzee was bad yeah but damn, harsh a tad.

terezigam: as a kismesis it’s almost disgustingly unhealthy to me and honestly terezi deserved better and gamzee maaaaybe shouldn’t get a kismesis, ever, unless he can sort his shit out -the sequals tho wont do that lol-

minorly gonna count johndave in this: idk if i can see john reciprocating for dave so dave’s crush on him almost kinda hurts, especially since fixed timeline dave’s john is well, dead and our john is probably still different from his john, has angst but man i kinda dont mind it as a one sides crush it’s nice confirmation of dave bein bi atleast.

nepetajasper/jasprose: i cant see it, it’s disturbing i guess. i like em more as friends but jasprose is probably more creepy bout it.

signless/diciple: i think considerin the implications they were fuckin adorable and deserved the best.

summoner/mindfang: it’s kinda sad considerin its implied mindfang’s love for him might’ve been one sided, they could’ve been cute tho.

orphanor/mindfang: probably sounded like the best kismesis’s until he murdered dolorosa.

dolorosa/mindfang: BIG NOPE i dun like the implications.

condence/orphaner: since it’s implied orphaner had a crush on her, gonna say tho big nope considerin condence is a bitch.

condence/lord english: its hard to decipher their relationship in canon, but to cover all my bases it’s big nope to me somethin bout it makes me uncomfy despite both bein bastards.

#home stuck #hs #the pink one speaks

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laurasauras-reads · 3 years

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Homestuck reread post 2

who gave you the right, sir, to look so fucking adorable??

okay, i've been immediately proven wrong on my interpretation for "bully", unless it's john doing the best with what he has, or if john himself is misinterpreting hussie's intentions. with something like homestuck, all of this is possible! but i think i was probably just wrong hahaha

"plz say yes" says the dude who definitely isn't going to play the game. he messaged john this immediately, like before he'd even looked out the window. (love.)

okay here's something i want to point out with regards to homestuck's chronology. dave calls rose "TT" here, because the reader hasn't been introduced to her yet and therefore doesn't know her name. the second that each kid has been given a name, their friends start using it. the reader's timeline matters more than any other one in homestuck. i started creating a homestuck timeline map, but oh my GOD it was impossible. maybe i'll finish it some time.

the point is, the trolls might have made this universe, but they don't matter until they're revealed to the reader. likewise, beforus really doesn't matter until it's revealed.

when the first page prompts us to name john because it's his 13th birthday, obviously he had a name before then. and that's not just me applying real world logic, we read dave's birthday letter that is addressed to "john", a letter that was written before john turned 13. because john was given his name by the readers and by the time we read that, we well and truly know his name is john.

okay okay so other things to comment on here.

i love dave's assumption that rose is flirting with him. she probably is, though the degree to which that's ironic is anyone's interpretation. what am i saying, she definitely is, we see them talking later. (take this as a sign that i will say shit like this regardless of ectobiological relations, but also this is just plain fact. no one, not dave and rose, not the readers, maybe not even hussie, knew that they were going to be related in the future.)

i also love john's deadpan statement of dave's attractiveness and dave's response. "thank you", it's just brilliant. beyond criticism!

okay idk what the image quality is gonna be like on this, but i want to appreciate the different kind abstrata that are available for the strife specibus. some highlights:

pizzactrkind

lampkind

glovekind

curlironkind

fncysntakind

fireextkind

i'm also glad to see "fankind" on there, because that's what i chose for my specibus. i do tai chi, the fan form is rad!

i love this writer, obviously. i like the fan theory that bro strider is the one who writes these, especially because if he's as like dirk as i think he is, this is entirely fabricated. this is a level of ironic bropinions that dirk could only aspire to

i can't believe i've waited this long to express my deep abiding love of dad egbert. why does he swear on egyptian tombs? why has he hung this picture up? i need to make him 500% more funny in all my fics going forward, because this is a man i want to love forever

okay maybe not, i forgot about the obscene number of jester/harlequin things in this house. i don't know how i forgot, but i did. i'm going to have to make dadbert 800% weirder in future fics, too

Sometimes at night you pray for burglars.

#hs reread #hs reread 2 #long post

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missfinefeather · 5 years

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MissFinefeather

Theory: MSPA Reader inadvertently causes June Egbert with their retcon abilitiesThe fact they are non-binary will force an explanation, and John gets introduced to lgbt concepts really early on. This may give them the groundwork to discover something about themselves down the line.

Omg, if John has sympathy for lgbt early on, then that could color their interactions with Dave

Imagine Dave being ENCOURAGED by John, how long would it take Dave to come to terms with his sexuality in that timeline?

GhastlyGhifin

It'd certainly help having a second opinion around besides that skinny puke of a brother.

MissFinefeather

Omg, I just considered the ramifications of MSPA Reader having Retcon powersThere are no doomed timelines this time

Every ending is it's own timeline, and not a doomed one because MSPA Reader retconned it into existence

Wakraya

Oh yes, however it is they may fuck up, it stays X3

MissFinefeather

I still wonder how they will be in danger in the early volumes. They probably won't

Though I could imagine someone dying on the pogo ghost thing

Wakraya

Dad Egbert finds this strange human hanging out with John in his room

Beats you up.

MissFinefeather

I could see that!

Wakraya

"but dad, they were going to show me a magic trick!"

*PIERCING DADBERT STARE*

MissFinefeather

"HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT WITHOUT EYES?"

Wakraya

Caked right through the wall

MissFinefeather

RIP

GhastlyGhifin

MSPA Reader's taken some beatings, but they've never met the likes of Dad.

MissFinefeather

Yep

#pesterquest1 #Missfinefeather Liveblogs #Missfinefeather plays Pesterquest #Pesterquest #Pesterquest Liveblog #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #blacklist Missfinefeather

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themockingcrows · 5 years

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Familiar Ch. 4: Birthday

This chapter is available on my AO3! John/Dave This chapter is SFW

As years pass by, surely it becomes easier to cohabitate with a former crow familiar. Right? Right?

It was the morning of John’s sixteenth birthday, and the house was quiet save for the subtle thumps and clicks from the kitchen as Dadbert whipped up stacks of waffles for himself and the boys to celebrate. Some were confetti, sprinkles making warped colorful patterns, some were chocolate chip, and another stack was pumpkin and cinnamon. Different syrups were warmed and prepared in their containers, forks and plates ready to go. The only thing missing was the birthday boy, but if experience said anything it wouldn’t take long for him to rise and shine. Especially considering the extra help he had in the waking up section.

John’s room has been altered to make room for the new roommate, a set of bunk beds dominating a far wall with John down below. As they’d grown, Dave eventually stopped cuddling up nightly to John in favor of nesting on the top bunk some nights, expanding into his own space as he learned and adjusted more to appreciate space and privacy when it came to his best friend. The first to wake and half the time the last to sleep was always Dave, and today was no different.

In fact, he’d been waiting for some time for the perfect time to strike, waking near dawn and counting down time on the clock on the desk till it was a decent time to act. Six. Seven. Eight thirty. That had to be good enough time. Slowly he crept down the rungs of the ladder, wings flaring for balance on the way down before he climbed onto John’s bunk and straddled his hips. John remained deeply asleep on his back, arms flailed in different directions, lips parted so he could breathe deeply.

Sleeping in was a thing of the past thanks to Dave, but a guy could sleep every day as if he’d get that magical extra hour in the end all the same. Just in case, he’d be ready to snooze with the best of them.

Leaning down, Dave pecked John’s lips once, twice, three times waiting for him to wake up. He nuzzled his cheek and softly cawed, tugged the collar of his pajamas with his teeth since he lacked a beak, looking for signs of life. When he finally showed some signs of waking, Dave leaned back and cawed loudly, wings splaying, then dove back in to start tickling John’s sides with skating fingers.

“Happy birthday!”

Yelping, John woke all the way almost automatically and arched his back, squirming to get away from the onslaught as he laughed. Damn him for teaching Dave what tickling was, he’d literally never unlearned it and now it was a long lasting entry in his personal catalogue of tactics for attention.

“I’m up! I’m up I’m up! Holy shit, stop ahahaha I’m awake!” he cried, swatting at the birdbrain who was perched on top of him with open hands. When the tickling didn’t stop John grew rougher, grunting and grasping Dave beneath the armpits to try wrenching him to the side. The tussle for dominance grew in intensity till there were wings and caws and laughing cries ringing out, which finally prompted the door to open, James in his apron with his own plate of waffles piled high.

“Ah, I was wondering when he’d wake you up. Birthday waffle buffet is all set up, boys! Funfetti, chocolate chip and pumpkin. There’s also bacon and sausage on the side. Take as much as you want, there’s plenty.”

Caught mid-fight Dave and John blinked and stared at each other in their tangled position before deciding that, yes, there WAS something more important at play here.

“Waffles!” Dave cawed excitedly.

“Happy birthday, John,” James said with a smile. “Let me know what you want your dinner to be, I’ll get the ingredients later on and whip it up special.”

“Happy birthday! Happy birthday!” Dave crowed a few times more as he sat back on his heels with a playful smirk, letting John finally catch his breath as he sat upright. They made quite the sight, matching pajamas with needed alterations in place for Dave’s wings, hair wild and cheeks flushed.

“Sixteen years old now,” chuckled James. “Quite the young gentleman now. Or are you too cool to be anything but a hip teenager.”

“Daaaaaaaad.”

Still smiling, James winked at him and swept back out of the room to go enjoy his food while it was still hot. John glanced to Dave, then sighed and shuffled out of bed to get dressed, tugging his shirt off.

“You could’ve let me sleep in you know.”

“Where would be the fun in that?” Dave asked.

“It’s not fun, it’s. Come on, can’t I sleep in even on my birthday??”

“Naps,” Dave offered as a solution, definitely to be helpful and not because naps were prime cuddling times for him to indulge in.

"Yeah, I guess naps,” he sighed again, tugging on a clean shirt and a comfortable set of pants before leaving the space open for Dave. The blonde changed shirts with a bit of rustling before pulling on a set of sweatpants instead, feeling no sense of urgency to be well dressed for the day. All it would be was photographs probably, and he didn’t care how he looked in pictures so long as he could look at them later. Maybe this would be the year James finally trusted him with the special camera so he could take pictures of his own.

Just because the last attempt had wound up with the lens being broken due to a butterfingers move on his part shouldn’t mean a lifelong ban. James wasn’t that kind of man, not that Dave could tell. He just needed a bit more time and practice and he’d wind up taking pictures good enough to wind up in the photo album too!

Or maybe he’d get to have his own photo album full of things. ...Maybe he should ask about that later on after he’d eaten his fill of waffles.

John and Dave went downstairs to the kitchen together to fix their plates, each stacking higher than they could probably finish before taking a seat near James. The kitchen was immaculate as ever from his cleaning as he cooked, and though the counters were crowded with plates and syrups and the sides things were spotless and lemony fresh underneath. He was a man who appreciated cleanliness of his home as much as he appreciated a good shave. This had led to some issues in the last few years, especially with Dave having a human form now, but he was always up for a challenge.

“I know you’re cranky about birthday cakes still-”

“Dad, please, tell me you didn’t do a cake,” John immediately said, horror crossing his face as he poured far too much syrup onto his plate.

“I didn’t do a cake,” James said, watching Dave’s face fall. Darn it, he liked when James made big cakes. He always got to help lick the spoon or the bowl, and there was always crumbs to peck. ...Pick up. Not peck up anymore, pick up. The trimmings were always moist and delicious. “I made a pie instead.”

Though John looked relaxed at first, he soon looked suspicious and cut a slice of waffle to jam into his mouth as he observed his father with narrowed eyes. “...What kind of pie.”

“Lemon cream,” James said calmly, continuing to grin at John’s suspicion.

Dave, confused, looked between the two of them while he happily ate. Something was going down, though he wasn’t sure what. Pies were always exciting! Would they eat it? Would they throw it? Hard to say, it depended on the mood and some unseen cue that Dave still wasn’t able to decipher, but at least it always resulted in some kind of tasty dessert even if it was whatever could be salvaged off John’s face and the pie tin before he scrambled upstairs to wash off.

James never wound up covered in pie somehow. John’s aim was great, but with magic involved it always altered the trajectory. He trusted that someday John would deflect properly. Who knew, maybe he’d wind up covered in pie someday as well and join the family on another level that he hadn’t before.

The two stared at each other for a moment longer before Dave interrupted.

“John, syrup?”

“John, can I please have the syrup,” Jame corrected with a smile.

Dave frowned a bit, annoyed that he slipped back into basic habits. Darn it.

“John can I please have syrup?” he asked instead, holding his plate up in offer.

Distracted finally from the attempts at discerning his father’s potential plans with the pie, John blinked a few times before picking the syrup up and drizzling it over Dave’s plate. “Say when.”

“John, you know he never says when,” James chuckled.

“Oh, right. Yeah. Here, that should be enough to get everything,” John said before setting the container down. “Do you think we could have lasagna tonight for dinner, Dad?”

“I don’t see why not. It’ll take a little doing, but there’s nothing quite like a homemade lasagna on a nice day like this.”

The other unasked question was eating John alive. Questions, really. When would he finally get to practice with the car and get his license? Was he getting a birthday gift this year, or was he just getting money now that he was older? Would it be a surprise? Was it something he’d wanted for a long time? Would it be socks??

There was no way it was hidden in the house somewhere, because Dave would have come across it by now during his daily scouting attempts inside and out of the house, exploring corners and crevices he hadn’t been able to when he was thumbless. John never tended to bother him when he was doing these things aside from checking up on him now and then. Dave never left without one of his toys in his pocket, so there was no cue for a meltdown, but he seemed content in tiny entrapped spaces. Once he’d even been found in the dryer, though he barely fit at the time, curled up as if inside a tire ready to take off down a hill, grinning with pleasure at his own antics.

“Son, you’re getting older now,” James said. “An adult in your own right finally, and I’m so proud of the progress you’ve made over the years.”

John stopped eating again, attentive, squirming in his seat.

“And I think it’s about time I take you into town for some driving lessons, so you’re ready to use the car.”

“WOO!”

Dave, caught up in the excitement, lifted his hands the same way John was, fistpumping the air to share the thrill.

“How would you like to take a spin later on? I know you already remember the basics from me teaching you outside, but if we find a nice empty parking lot we can get even more practice in. Learners permit will be easy to get afterwards, then it’s just a lot of practice till you get your license and I won’t need to be in the car at all.”

“Dave, did you hear that? Just a while longer and we can do a road trip somewhere!”

“Er. ...No, son. Dave has to stay here.”

John’s face fell, though he stayed in place with his arms wrapped around Dave, simultaneously being wrapped in the same way by the bird. “Wait, what? I thought you said he could leave eventually with us..”

“Eventually, yes. Once we figure out a good way of hiding his wings that isn’t just a simple cloaking charm,” James said. “He’d still be knocking things over left and right that way, and be showing a lump in other cases. We need something stronger, strong enough to pass detection by those keeping an eye out for things like him, before he leaves the house.”

“Road trip! Road trip!” Dave cawed raucously. John stroked his hair, looking guilty.

“Yeah. Road trip.”

This was on him again, the ball once more in his court. If he wanted to be able to take Dave anywhere, he needed to find even more ways to change him. As if making him a humanoid hadn’t been enough of a blast in the face. He swallowed hard at the idea, suddenly a little less hungry than the mountain of breakfast in front of him from earlier suggested. It was his responsibility as Dave’s friend and his pseudo-owner to care for him and all his needs, and those needs would include being able to venture off the property as they got older. Even if it wasn’t on his own, John wanted to give him a bit of the freedom he himself would be tasting soon.

It was only fair.

“Now now, perk up. We’ve plenty of time for that. For now, enjoy your birthday and we’ll take a drive later on.”

“What about-”

“...Dave can come with us,” James decided quietly. “We’ll find somewhere out of the way, and we can see about keeping his wings folded under a coat. I’m grateful they’re not bigger than they are. It’s not perfect, but it would at least let him tag along for this one time before we figure things out. So he’ll know where you’ve gone in the future.”

That was a decent enough trade for the time being, John supposed. Dave was always a lot calmer knowing where John was at, so if he was off the property then knowing roughly where he was would probably help. Who knew, maybe the conversations Dave seemed to have with the crows outside could prove useful. Maybe the murder that seemed to shadow over the nearby town was keeping tabs on John and James both, letting Dave know what was happening where he couldn’t see, letting him know things were okay. That his humans were safe.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

John knew it was coming. He knew like he knew his own name, and there was no escape from it. The pie had been in the kitchen earlier in a metal tin instead of the glass one his dad liked to cook with best, settled on the counter after spending time in the fridge, keeping his father company as he readied pasta for the layers of lasagna in the baking dish. Then, it had been gone. James claimed he didn’t know what John was talking about, that he’d just put it back into the fridge to cool a while longer on second thought, but John knew better.

He knew so much better.

He’d snuck a peek around while getting a glass of milk he didn’t feel like drinking, and there had been no pie to be seen. A subtle spell from outside of the room didn’t give him extra sight to see where a cloaking was happening. It wasn’t in the laundry room or the living room, or even the car. The only places really left were the lounge and his dad’s room.. But the latter was definitely off limits.

Especially with Dave following hot on his heels, not wanting to leave the birthday boy alone too long. Or alone at all, if the last bit of the crows entire lifetime had been any indication. Where John went, Dave was set to follow him without question or invitation.

“Dave, you’ve got to let me know if Dad’s following us at any time,” he said urgently under his breath. “Try to focus. I know you’ve got the whole bird thing, but you’ve been around magic almost your entire life, you’ve got to have some kind of sense as my familiar.”

“No Dad magic. Got it,” he said simply, confirming what he’d heard. It’d have to do.

Slipping around the edge of the hallway, John slowly headed towards his father’s room, keeping an ear on the kitchen for the steady clinks and soft thunks of his cooking preparations, and quietly opened the door. His dad’s room was simple, boring in some ways, but fascinating when you looked close enough. Beneath the boring exterior were vestiges of his magic and different tools he employed while doing it. Places he’d explored, people he’d met, even memorabilia of the time he got perma-banned from Cirque de Soleil for causing a scene with magic when someone startled him with a pre-planned stage fall and he’d tried to help them while failing to cast a proper coverage spell to block the view. All they’d seen was a crazed man jumping the stage with what observers claimed was his hands on fire briefly, trying to grap at one of the aerial stunt divers.

Truly, there was so much history in this room.

“John, it’s you,” Dave said at a normal volume till John hissed and covered his mouth with a palm.

“Shhhh! I- ..Oh, you’re right, these are my baby pictures,” John realized as he looked at some of the framed images. One shot with his mother made his smile grow and soften, even now not over the empty feeling he got when he thought about what she must have been like, memory not able to go clearly as far back as she’d existed in his life. Another shot was him with Dave after he’d recovered, the crow covered in flour and John himself looking pleased as punch in the mess in the kitchen, a mixing bowl of what he was pretty sure was pancake batter on the ground where he could reach it. “Hey, this one’s you.”

“I know,” Dave said with a grin. “I was happy.”

“You were?”

“Yeah,” Dave promised. “I’m always happy when you’re there. Even when I’m mad I’m happy.”

John smiled a bit. ”Aw. That’s actually pretty swee-” He heard a creak behind them and his heart stopped, watching the door open with wide eyes. His father stood behind it with a pie in hand, the same pleasant grin on his face, and determination in his eye.

“John, you know I don’t normally like you boys poking around my room when I’m not in here,” he chuckled. “But I wanted to let you know! It’s time for dessert.”

“We haven’t eaten dinner yet,” John interjected, knowing his fate already.

“Oh, no son, I think you’re plenty ready for dessert before dinner,” James said as he lifted the pie. “Happy birthday, John!”

The pie flew with magic guided force, John raised his hands to try deflecting, but before the creamy concoction could splatter him head on.. Dave jumped in the way with both wings spread, taking the dessert full force to the face, splatters of it dispersing around his sides to catch John’s edges all the same.

Everyone froze and blinked, watching Dave closely. That.. hadn’t happened before. Usually there was cawing or excitement, but Dave had never taken the dessert for John before. They weren’t sure how he’d react, if at all.

“Uh. ...D. ...Dave?” John finally asked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry there son, I was aiming for John since he was expecting it,” James tried to say, as if this were somehow his fault and not from Dave leaping in front of the attack.

Dave, still quiet, finally reached up to pull the pie tin off his face and rub his eyes clear of cream and lemon curd. He licked his lips, face a mask of sweet goo and fluffy cream, and crooned. “This is really good, Dad.”

James exhaled a breath before laughing, stepping around them all to go find the camera, wanting to capture the moment. John still looked startled, but with Dave continuing to croon as he savored the fact he was getting to essentially eat the majority of an entire pie by himself, he supposed there wasn’t much to worry about.

“Why’d you do that?” he had to ask.

Dave blinked at him, licking his fingers clean. “Because you said to keep an eye out for magic and I didn’t know he was there. Then it was pie time,” he shrugged.

“You… you didn’t have to do that,” John chuckled. “I mean, you know it wouldn’t have hurt me, right?”

“It hurt my carpeting more than it hurt either of you boys,” James said, making sure there was film and that the lens was uncovered before coming closer to frame up the picture. “Now then. Say cheese, you two!”

“Cheese!” Dave said, grinning beneath his mask as John leaned over to steal a taste.

“Huh. Y’know, Dad, this was kind of a waste, it’s REALLY tasty.”

“Good thing I’ve got another one hidden in the dishwasher then,” he said with a proud smile. “We can enjoy some slices with dinner once Dave’s all cleaned up and we’ve had our driving practice.”

Once Dave was all cleaned up, huh? Cream was all over his wings, in his hair, probably in his ears. It’d take him a while to get clean. It’d take them both a while to get clean, he mentally corrected, as Dave reached a messy hand over to glom some of the pie onto John’s face. The camera clicked a few more times as they dissolved into flailing with shared pie goo, James laughing all the while.

“Now, now, that’s enough, you’re grinding it into the floor haha. Both of you, go get tidied up. The Lasagna is ready for the oven now, I’ll pop it in just before we leave and it’ll be plenty ready not long after we get back. Sound good?”

“Yes Dad,” Dave said, releasing the sides of John’s purse lipped face once he’d firmly wiped the pie off on both sides and the front of his shirt. Then, wings folding as if being coated in lemon curd was the natural state of things, Dave sauntered off to the bathroom to shower with John sighing as he followed, glasses removed and squinted eyes trailing the black and blonde cloud in front of him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Dave, hold still, it’s not going to hurt you!” John complained. “It’s like when you have a blanket on.”

“Blankets aren’t tight!” he cawed, clicking his teeth in warning for a bite before John reached up and popped the chewy into his mouth for him to angrily gnaw at instead of taking the potential injury to his hands or arms himself.

“It’s a jacket, you big baby!”

“Too tight! Let me use mine!” he growled around the toy in his mouth, close to spitting it back out to let it dangle around his neck so he could bite John after all.

“John, just get him one of mine so he can have everything covered. We can’t have your wings out, remember Dave? Your jacket won’t work,” James reminded him gently from the kitchen as he applied a final last minute layer of cheese and seasonings to the top of the lasagna and covered it with tin foil while the oven preheated.

The struggling slowly stopped as John stopped trying to shove the jacket into place and Dave folded his wings, disgruntled but willing to try alternatives. Especially if they were James’ alternatives and didn’t involve jamming his wings into small spaces. The replacement option was satisfactory, a long white trench coat whose weight weighed down on Dave’s folded wings to smooth the lump on his back considerably. It was comfortable enough, he supposed, and the added flappability of the overly long sleeves was appealing. Dave cawed softly in approval and let John securely tie the belt around his waist.

Soon enough they all bundled into the car, John eagerly in the passenger seat and Dave buzzing in the backseat with his face pressed into the glass of the window. They drove away from their well loved house and down the bumpy dirt and gravel road to the paved road, then to the highway. Dave’s eyes were massive as he watched the other cars come close and pass them one after another, coming and going in so many colors. There was one brief moment of James needing to remember the child locks for the back seat to prevent Dave rolling the window down any further than he already had, wanting to feel the wind on his face and through his hair as if he were flying again, but otherwise the trip was simple.

“I remember here,” Dave said as they pulled into an empty parking lot of a defunct mall. “And there too,” he added, gesturing to a McDonalds down the road. “Good food.”

“I’m glad we took you in, your diet no doubt added to your original longevity,” James chuckled as he parked the car and turned off the ignition. “Now stay put for me. John? Come on over, son. Let’s try some starts and stops, and some parking. I’ll get in the passenger seat instead.”

Eager as ever, John darted around to the front of the car, clumsily sliding over half the hood before slipping down onto the bumper and nearly crashing to the ground before saving himself and making it into the driver’s seat to buckle up. Dave, once again, was bouncing and cawing raucously behind them as James took his seat and did the buckle as well.

“Right. So. Turn it on,” John murmured, running through steps in his head. “Then… brake, shift to drive.. And gas.”

The vehicle smoothly went into motion with only a few initial anxious wobbles, the brief realization that he was piloting a thousand pound death machine with his father and his best friend inside of it catching up with John, before smoothing out and gradually picking up speed at James’ coaxing. The turn was a bit sharp at the end, making everyone tense up and hold their breaths, but subsequent attempts were more in control. By the end, John was even managing basic parking, backing up, and some parallel parking thanks to his dad and Dave both standing out marking the ends of where he was aiming.

All in all, a successful day.

Dave grinned and untied his coat near the end, flinging it open to stretch his wings out before the ride home, only to be nearly tackled by James tucking it back into place.

“Ah ah ah, I’m sorry Dave but no. Not here. Not right now. I know it’s not the best, but try to hold on till we get home..”

“Dad, can’t you just cloak him till we get back? He’ll just be in the back of the car,” John said from the driver’s seat as he parked and shut off the car to get out. Dave went wide eyed and nodded.

“Please? Itches.”

James sighed.. and nodded, raising a hand as he let the coat fall to apply a quick cloaking spell. As if melting away, Dave’s wings disappeared from view, leaving only the cut open back of his shirt. It was strange seeing Dave that way, John decided. No wings on his back, Dave looked naked in some way, vulnerable with his red eyes and wild hair, skinny frame and slightly stooped posture. Nothing was tethering him to the world anymore when he just looked like an out of place human instead of an out of place angel.

“Hurry into the car though. You never know who’s watching,” James urged, handing Dave the trenchcoat before making a shoo gesture with both hands. “We’ve got lasagna waiting on us at home.”

Dave remained outside of the car for another minute, just enjoying the wind in his hair and through his unseen feathers, savoring being somewhere familiar before he finally got into the vehicle as well and buckled up. He felt like someone was watching him and looked around, but let the feeling fall. Nobody was out there but the three of them, and besides: there were more important things afoot.

“Lasagna!” he cawed, appetite more than awake by this time.

“Yep. Lasagna,” John said from up front. All in all? A great birthday. He hoped the future ones could be as peaceful.

#johndave #john egbert #dave strider #homestuck #my fic

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vriskadyke · 5 years

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excerpt: gods of earth c

when i started writing 'someone will remember us (even in another time)', i knew i had to limit myself to certain characters. some of them aren't heroic, and therefore wouldnt be seen as gods; some are just irrelevant. i eventually settled on having the alpha kids, the beta kids, calliope, and the surviving trolls (vriska, terezi, kanaya, karkat, aradia, sollux) be the gods. i did, however, write short bios for other characters (such as the dancestors)! here's a list of some of the god names i came up with for them.

tw for mentions of canon sexual assault, the use of the c slur, misogyny, ableism, and generally stuff i dont agree with. part of the point of this series is just how badly earth c misinterprets everything bc for Me earth c is like. This world but also we have trolls and carapacians and consorts and some people can do magic and religion is different. but homophobia/transphobia & misogyny & ableism etc still exist.

tavros: page of breath, the eternal child, peter pan, keeper of the little ones, animal whisperer, the cr*ppled god (derogatory, ill fight them), the boy blessed with flight, he-who-will-soar-above, the cowardly bull (modern, can be derogatory).

nepeta: rogue of heart, the longing one, the clawed goddess, the watching lover, catnip, she-who-loves-but-has-sharp-teeth, huntress of hearts, the woman of the pairings, cat lady (modern, can be derogatory)

equius: the heir of void, the archer, the horseman, he-who-has-everything, the maker of hearts, the broken tooth, the cavalryman, the builder, the obedient servant, the sweaty one (modern)

gamzee: the bard of rage, the clown, the raging beast, the butcher, he-who-cannot-die, the unkillable, the painted man, son of salt, the fucking juggalo (modern, derogatory)

eridan: the prince of hope, the betrayer, he-who-is-the-killer-of-angels, the admiral, the white villain, the scientific alchemist, the turncoat, the jealous one, incel (modern, derogatory, and also true).

feferi: the witch of life, the uncrowned princess, she-who-is-the-last-of-empresses, mother sea, bitch of life (derogatory, relatively modern, and also fight me), heiress of the deeps, carer for the horrorterrors, queen of dreams

damara: the witch of time, slave of the white doctor, the scorned girl, daughter of green, the handmaid/en, the betraying bitch (modern, derogatory, shut the fuck up) she-who-was-broken-by-time (much of my interpretation of damara comes from the fic "all the corpses stare back")

rufioh: the rogue of breath, the breath-stealer, the handsome one, he-of-revolutions-and-wings, the cheating bastard (modern, derogatory, also its true), the communer, the summoner, he-who-laughs-flying

mituna: the heir of doom, the broken son, he-who-was-bright-and-then-dimmed, the psiioniic, the helmsman, the retard (modern, derogatory, also everyone who says this gets killed by sollux, and also me), the honeyboy,

kankri: the seer of blood, the man without signs, the preacher, the speaker, the blood dreamer, he-who-was-born-again, son of scarlet, the sjw (everyone who calls him this does it for the wrong reasons, modern)

meulin: the mage of heart, the disciple, the lioness, she-who-heard-and-was-deafened, the deaf listener, recorder of truths and teachings, apostle of the bloodseer, that deaf one (people dont consider this derogatory, but 1) it is and 2) its dismissive as hell and rude, modern)

porrim: the maid of space, the dolorosa, the maiden mother, she-who-nurtures, daughter of darkness and light, the lady jade, the cavern dweller, the unsilenced woman, the raging feminist (derogatory but absolutely something she’d be like “yes, and?” about)

latula: the knight of mind, the neophyte, redglare, she-who-swings-from-nooses, the betrayed lawyer, dragonwoman, the quiet lover, she-who-was-burdened-with-a-broken man (NO she wasnt earth c, her relationship w/ mituna is a happy one and the fact that hes disabled doesnt make him a burden), the lovesick idiot (modern, derogatory- YES shes in love with mituna, NO that doesnt make her an idiot)

aranea: the sylph of light, the pirate marquise, the mind & the fang, the betrayer, the twice killed, the captain, she-who-escaped-the-noose, the rapist (derogatory, reference to her sexual harassment of jake and her sexually assaulting the dolorosa as mindfang)

horuss: the page of void, the executor, darkleer, sparer-of-the-disciple, the mistress, he-who-let-loose-that-final-arrow, homewrecker (derogatory, modern- not exactly true. rufioh did cheat on damara with him, and he knew that rufioh was dating damara at the time, but horuss didnt set out to seduce rufioh)

kurloz: the prince of rage, the highblood, the grand clown, the god with the threaded mouth, the laughing king, he-who-no-longer-speaks, son of the paint & blood, breaker of the disciple (i wouldnt call this derogatory as much as ‘blaming’- it refers to kurloz making meulin deaf and also ghb torturing the disciple by forcing her to see the sufferer’s torture)

cronus: the bard of hope, the orphaner, dualscar, the breaker of spades, the smirking son, he who makes much music, the hipster douchebag (modern, derogatory, and absolutely correct)

meenah: the thief of life, the imperial princess, the rebel daughter, she-who-killed-friends-to-save-them, commander of the dreaming dead, the sleeping queen, daughter of gold & tyrian, the bitchy tyrant (modern, derogatory)

caliborn: the lord of time, lord english, the skeleton king, he-who-eats-the-world, the breaker of clocks, the enemy

the condesce: the condesce, the condescension, the evil trollqueen, she-who-searches-forever-for-a-throne, the mother of the sea, queen of darkness and derse

thats pretty much it for the Big Titles. theyve also got names for other, smaller characters:

davepeta is the wandering knight of change. (dave is a knight, and nepeta was a rogue: therefore a ‘rogue knight’, a wandering knight. the time aspect is about, well, time, and the heart aspect is about the understanding of self; as time goes on, one’s understanding of oneself changes and grows, therefore their aspect is change- so the wandering knight of change.)

arquius is the royal of secrets. (i hc hal as being a prince of mind, and equius is an heir of void. both heirs and princes have an element of royalty to them (even if heir isnt strictly royal). mind is about ideas and knowledge, and void is about hidden things and nothingness- so hidden ideas & knowledge is secrets. thus, a royal of secrets.)

jasprose is the lioness of the sun (she doesnt have much of a class; jasprose doesnt act like much of a seer tbh, but she definitely has a light aspect. she doesnt fit within many classes, and her ‘catness’ is something she emphasizes and is very comfortable with. she’s very strong and powerful as seen in the collide fight, and she has the light aspect and is connected thru jasper to the land of light and rain; thus, a lioness (big cat) of the sun.)

nanna is the nurturer of creation (she fits well as a maid of life, but that’s jane’s title, and we cant give her that, so nurturer because nanna is very nurturing- helping john throughout the game, raising dadbert (most well-adjusted character of all time)- and because creation is a synonym of life)

#fae.txt #life on earth c

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clock-heart · 6 years

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When possible (after all the great art) will you explain the wayfarer au??

short version: fantasy au that takes place on sky islands! each island is inspired by aspects, each character will have sorta unique magic/abilities, condy has her usual empiremore deets on each island from Me Notes under the cut, kinda long

breath aspect island: breezy and green archipelago with wide open sky and favorable weather for flying airships- mostly consists of villages with one huge port for all the travelers. its a great place for wayfarers, traders and regular people to live free from the grip of the crown thanks to the summonerjohn, dadbert and the nitrams live here

time aspect island: a heavily populated place where the big city is starting to choke out most of the land. its smoggy, loud, crowded, usual urban environment- steampunky type era aesthetic, clockwork, robots and all that

dave, his bro and the megidos live here

space aspect island: high elevation, mountains, and pretty chilly! an ideal spot for astronomy with a clear view of the stars- home to a lot of creative types and innovators, theres a bunch of businesses that deal in the creative things such as writing, art, fashion and the like

jade, her grandpa and the maryams live here

light aspect island: its a large island with a desert biome in the middle of it, warm and sunny most of the days- its home to a huge library with almost all the information they could provide. a lot of people thirsty for that knowledge tend to gather here

rose, her mom and the serkets live here

mind aspect island: very chill place, theres a lot of waterfalls, forests, quiet places to sit and think- another island with the creative minds, they have pretty architecture, sculptures, quiet gardens and legends of terrifying monsters

the pyropes live here

heart aspect island: a heavily forested area with large towns that are warm and welcoming- they love to celebrate with friends and family, they put on fun festivals that tell imaginative stories of the local beasts, legends or the islands history and they are known for very excellent comfort food

dirk, his bro and the leijons live here

hope aspect island: very proud and prosperous place, it’s known for its strict law system for the betterment for the island and its people- there’s a heavy military presence in the big city, its very clean and bright there although theyre a bit controlling of the populace

jake, his grandma and the amporas live here

rage aspect island: a small series of islands that have great entertainers, plays, festivals full of people who can perform amazing circ de solei type feats and other performance arts- theyre also known for being devout to religion, having churches, large amazing cathedrals, statues and all that dedicated to their deities. they recently started a revolution to break off from the empires grip and won

the makaras live here

void aspect island: the oldest island, thick with ancient trees and deep cave systems, it’s home to many secrets of an ancient civilization and its technology- which they learned to recreate. a lot of aspiring engineers, mages or knowledge seekers tend to flock here

roxy, her mom and the zahhaks live here

life aspect island: filled with jungles and accompanied by a shallow sea, this island is very idyllic- this place is well known for restorative magic, rare beasts, fun vacations, sea food and a really amazing bakery

jane and feferi live here

blood aspect island: this island was destroyed by the empire many generations ago, there were many casualties and those families who are left are nomad wayfarers- they created a large airship that acts as a market place for others to come trade and visit freely outside of the empire rule. the people are known for their inspiring literature and if you befriend them, you’re family to them

the vantas are part of the nomads

doom aspect island: partially destroyed and almost unlivable. this is due condy trying to seize control of a huge well of magic and a massive arcane explosion that tore up the island and opened up some elemental planes for demons and horrors roam free- rumors say the explosion was on purpose to stop condy, others believe she did it herself

the captors are part of the nomads

so uh theres the world building part of it

#asks #wayfarer au #homestuck //#its a mess and prob real dumb but i have fun w/ it #conen

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koroart · 8 months

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It’s my job in life to make Lambert as big and fluffy as possible 🥰✨

#long time no Dadbert !!!!!#I miss him!!!#:: my art #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #lambert egitte blaiddyd #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe3h dimitri #fe3h lambert

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isabellaofparma · 6 years

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man, your powers are so strong this year - pretty sure 2017 was your superhero origin story! wasn't it the other day you were asking for a leak, and lo and behold that director's pic pops up to confirm what you (currently) want! amazing. rip dadbert, so long rossbecca and baby barton - it's only a matter of time now! for reals tho, i don't like either of them but after the year rebecca and ross have had, + ross having to leave moses behind, leaving as a little fam is such a good ending for them.

😂😂 I’m pretty sure it was my super villain origin story! I hope my powers continue to work.

And isn’t it? It’s what they deserve!

#ask #baby barton #Anonymous

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isroselalondebisexual · 6 years

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What do you think the following kidswaps would be like: Rose Strider, Dave Lalonde, John Harley, and Jade Egbert

So I don’t actually engage with kidswaps a bunch because I don’t really get where most people are coming from with them, but my understanding of kidswaps is:

You take the canon kid but raise them in their surname’s household.

One of the cool things Hussie did with the guardians was that they fit fairly well into the four parenting styles Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Neglectful. Quick psychology overview, there are two categories parents usually get defined by, Involvement (also known as support or warmth) and discipline (or demand). Authoritative parents give high support/involvement/warmth, and moderate discipline, which is sort of the ideal parenting, and that fits Dad Egbert pretty well. Authoritarian is low warmth/support/involvement but high discipline/demand, which Bro Strider fits. Permissive is high warmth, but low discipline, which goes well with Mom Lalonde. Neglectful parents are low warmth low discipline, and are often absent entirely, which our unfortunately dead Grandpa Harley was (and from evidence in Hiveswap, probably would have been even if he was alive). Lucky for us Jade had a radioactive dog to raise her in his stead.

So we’ve got a girl like Rose, raised in an authoritarian household, I’m just gonna go ahead and say Bro Strider because I don’t know how guardians usually work in kidswaps. So Bro “I got possessed by a demonic puppet at age 0 and have lived with that thing in my head all my life” Strider is aggressive, unreliable, attacks his kid on a dime, emotionally distant, and emotionally detached. Rose, who is already pretty embittered by her mother in canon, would become someone utterly infuriated with the world. She’d forgo her passive-aggression games in favor of being outright nasty and rude most of the time I’m talking full 90′s cliche delinquent here. Serious behavioral issues, “who’s going to make me” attitude, seizing control by force wherever she can because control is something that’s stripped from her in her home life. Distrustful of other people’s intentions, probably always sees the worst in others, the kind of person who’s just waiting for the other person to prove her right so she can point at them and say “Ha. I knew you weren’t that nice.” without full awareness that she was the one to push them to snapping at her in the first place. REALLY nasty downward spirals of aggression and more aggression and a paranoid survival-based hair-trigger set of reflexes. Probably useful as a Seer of Time, but not good for her well being by any stretch of the imagination.

Then we’ve got Dave, raised in a permissive household by Mom “I drink to forget that the world is about to end and also because I’m lonely and life is hard” Lalonde. On the upside, he’s got a parent who cares about him now, on the other, he’s still a kid who’s gotta grow up too fast, bc his mom isn’t really a mom. She adores him, of course she does, but she’s drunk off her ass eight days a week so Dave’s sorta gotta be his own adult, which doesn’t end well. He probably gets along with her though, thinks he’s got a cool mom when really she’s just an enabler to pretty much anything he wants to do. I’d imagine a Dave Lalonde would end up sorta spoiled, used to not being told no, raised a rich kid, he’s used to being able to get whatever he wants after a little whining and would likely have a bad reaction to being told “no” when he starts out. A well intentioned dude who wants to be soft, but believes he has to be the “mature” one of the group, just listen to him he’s the smart one here. Probably thinks photographing plants and collecting roadkill in jars makes him “cultured” and “refined” and tries to use that as an excuse for why everyone should listen to him. Part of that is just him being used to having to act the adult in his home life though, so it’s natural for him to think that he’s the mature one, the put together one, the one who’s too old for that sort of childish nonsense. Also likely knows he’s pan/bi before the Game even starts tbeh. His quest as Knight of Light would probably involve him mostly just figuring out how to be a kid again, something he’d initially resent, like Rose resents the girlishness of LOLAR in canon, but would warm to eventually as he comes to terms with the fact that he’s not an adult, he’s allowed to be a kid.

Then John, raised in a “neglectful” household as much as having a dead guardian can really raise him, left with First Guardian Bec and the carapacians of Prospit. He’d probably be really starved for attention. Even more of a class clown than he is in canon, but this time only on a deserted island. Just a boy with his dog, and his dream scape to make friends with strange white chess people, whose customs are very much not human customs but ah well. Depression likely sets in a lot sooner for him without a parent around, and it’s easier for him to lock himself away from the world when no one’s even in his world on that lonely little island. Laying in bed all day watching movies and texting his friends and playing online games are less “interests” as much as they are “the only hobbies he has access to AND energy for”, than in his canon timeline. He’s still a boy overflowing with love for his friends, and would probably maintain his goofy disposition, but he’d be lonely and tired and depressed and it would likely be hard for him to work up the energy for his childhood nonsense that we all love and adore so much from canon. Bec, at least, would get him up, because dogs are high-energy pets and need daily exercise, and John would never ever let his dear sweet Bec get affected negatively by his depressed moods. He’s a boy who wants to be in love with life but it’s really, really hard. His quest as the Heir of Space would be something of a spiritual journey, I think. Becoming one with the universe, coming to terms with the good and the bad, the highs and lows the desirable and the ugly, and, by extension, learn to balance his own inner joy and despair. Once he reaches an understanding with that which is whole, he is better able to handle his own cycle of depression, which never really truly leaves him but he is able to handle it, engage with his loved ones while maintaining his own illness.

Jade, raised in an authoritative household by Dad “I love my child more than my own life” Egbert. Probably gonna be the most well adjusted out of all of them, surprising literally no one. Might be a little less punchy than we see in canon, having had a parent to appropriately model reactions to things like annoyance and anger, and probably has less access to rifles than our girl in canon. Still buff as shit tho, that much hasn’t changed. A witty problem solver, someone who’s had the support needed to really help her flourish, added to her own genius self. Has less need for the dreambot, but is still interested in science and furry/wolfkin stuff and her dad is, of course, only supportive (even if he doesn’t really understand the wolfkin/furry stuff, he supports his child and her interests). Wins ever science fair ever held and Dadbert is just standing with a camera beaming in the background. A go-getter and a high-achiever, sharp-tongued and able to use wit and snark and humor in order to win her battles instead of just out-screaming Karkat, regional winner of the Screamer Award (to be fair, that moment in canon was ICONIC). Isn’t necessarily GOOD at rolling with the punches, but is capable of it when she feels inclined. Her quest as a Witch of Breath would probably be something of a spiritual healer for the rest of her group? Someone who can manipulate the Aspect of freedom and in turn give that to her friends and loved ones. Someone for Dave to joke around with and just be a kid with, someone John can look to for support and help him when life is just too heavy, someone Rose can rail against and see that there is indeed still kindness in this world and yeah Jade isn’t perfect, she’s tempermental and a compulsive liar but she’s good and she’s loving and she wants nothing more than for Rose to feel okay again and Rose does indeed want that and wow JadeRose would actually be exceptionally good in this kind of kidswap wow. And in helping her friends, that would be an act of liberation for Jade too, because sometimes “we” is easier than “me” and sometimes “let’s” is more doable than “I’ll” and “I’ll do this for you” is easier than “I’ll do this for myself.”

Anyway I got super long winded there but here are my Thoughts tell me what you think.

#Rose Lalonde #John Egbert #Dave Strider #Jade Harley #Homestuck #answers #Rose Strider #Dave Lalonde #John Harley #Jade Egbert #John #Dave #Jade #JadeRose #mentioned #long post #beta kids #homestuck meta #analysis

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honeycombsprites · 5 years

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can you just do anything for a Dad Pyrope (pyrope swapped dad egbert)? i don't care what i'm just a lonely dad pyrope kinnie and i need anything dad pyrope. if it wouldnt be too much trouble to make the dad pyrope half human half troll but looking mostly human. still with teal blood and fangs, but no horns or gray skin.

You know what anon. You know what? Dadbert really didn’t have all to many sprites and I only felt like tracking down one of them, but sure. Our sprite requests closed a long time ago but you asked this on a day when I was feeling particularly nostalgic and thinking about my own very rare kins. I’m not even really much of a homestuck anymore. I couldn’t figure out how you wanted the teal blood to manifest. But here you go, you funky little parental figure. You’ve done it, you briefly woke the beast, just long enough for him to make you this. Enjoy

#homestuck #dadbert #Anonymous

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kalicofox · 7 years

Text

Babystuck Part 6

Betcha thought this’d never happen again! ^_^

Jade ends up making another trip back to the mainland, taking John with her this time, because;

"I'm not going to carry everything we need to take care of four babies for two months by myself!"

Jade ends up making another trip back to the mainland, taking John with her this time, because;

"I'm not going to carry everything we need to take care of four babies for two months by myself!"

You, wisely, hadn't pointed out that she could just stick everything in her sylladex before teleporting home.

So now, you and Rose and Jane were all back in the living room, John and Jade were off somewhere, and Roxy had a lap full of Dadbert that she was busy cooing over, tickling hands and feet and chubby baby cheeks. Judging from the peals of happy baby laughter, Dadbert approved.

"Is that some sort of mind control your useless human wigglers have?"

Oh yeah. And Karkat. He'd followed the four of you into the living room and was keeping half an eye on all of you even as he worked his way through a truly enormous plate of fried grubs.

"Oh yeah, it's horrible." You say, deadpan, "If you don't do whatever these mini-overlords demand, they do this thing that makes your head explode. It's fuckin' tragic; brains everywhere. Happens all the time."

"Riiiight." He's looking at Bro with a dubious expression, and you smirk.

"Totally true, dude."

"He's right." D agrees, leaning over the back of the couch to get a look at Baby Bro. "They've got this psychic scream, man, it's the worst fuckin' thing you could ever hear. Splits your head right open, and blam, brains all over the damn place. It's hell to clean up. Dirk told me what happened." he adds, glancing sidelong at you, and you grimace.

"Sorry man, I was kinda distracted."

He waves off your apology. "Nah, I get it. Jesus christ that's weird though, seein' him without his shades."

You nod, and D's wings flare, settle, then flare again slightly.

"Can I...?"

"Hold him? Yeah, sure man. Knock yourself out." You hold Bro out to D, who takes the baby awkwardly. You get to your feet, then take to the air so that you can really stretch, bending over backwards to loosen up.

Ahhh, sweet freedom. This is bliss.

"Girls are more susceptible than guys." You add, glancing at Karkat, "Something something hormones or whatever."

"Yeah, right." Karkat scoffs through a mouthful of grubs. "Like I'm going to believe that grubs can scream loud enough to explode heads."

"Aww man." You drawl, now fully upside down, "You got us. It's true. They can't scream that loud. But," you add, catching sight of Rose handing Momlonde over to Jake again, "you'd be fuckin' surprised dude."

Surprisingly, Momlonde actually stays quiet for a few moments. Just long enough for Jake to start to relax and for a smile to start stretching across his lips.

And then the whimpering starts.

Instantly Jake tenses up again, looking around wildly to see if anyone else is watching. You glance away, not exactly not wanting to help him, but more wanting Karkat to get a damn good idea of what human infants are capable of.

"Hush now, you're fine, you're a good baby, yes you are," Jake's voice is half on the edge of panic, and you risk another glance over at him.

He's twisted her around so that her head is on his shoulder, and you wince when you realize exactly what's going to happen to his ear if he doesn't manage to get her calmed down soon.

"No, nooooooo," he moans quietly, "please hush, you're fine, it's fine, it's all lovely and flowers and roses. Rose'll be back soon, please don't start crying again!"

For a second it sounds like his babbling is working; Momlonde hiccups once, twice, settles a little, then screws up her face and wails.

Jake flinches, and you see his arms tighten a little around the baby, which is, you suppose, better than dropping her, but it's actually Karkat's response that you're more interested in.

Your interest is, as usual, rewarded.

This time it's rewarded by the plate being flung ceiling-ward by the startled troll; an action that results in a short lived rain of cooked grubs cascading down across you, Karkat and an unamused looking D, who'd sheltered Bro under one wing when he'd realized what was happening.

"You'd better get him out of here," you tell D, nodding at the baby in his arms, "they're networked or some bullshit, and I really don't wanna deal with two screaming brats."

D blinked, then glanced around and, presumably, noticed that every other teenager holding a baby was making fast tracks out of the room.

"Gotcha." He said, "Message me when it's safe to come back."

And he was gone, only a flicker of yellow-gold-orange feathers around the door to mark his passing.

That said and done, you turn your attention back to Karkat and snicker.

He's got his hands plastered to the sides of his head, covering his ears in a vain attempt to protect himself from the increasingly high-pitched screams up an unhappy baby.

You reach over and pry one hand away from his head, leaning close so that your mouth is next to his ear.

"Now do you believe me?" You ask, and get a vicious glare in response.

That's good enough for you, and you drift over to Jake, easily plucking the squalling infant Lalonde from his arms.

Judging from the grateful salute he tosses you before beating a hasty retreat, Jake is going to be trying to pay you back somehow. Maybe you'll be able to get him to teach you how to shoot. You had always thought that Jade's gun collection sounded kind of cool.

Unfortunately, the change in venue does nothing to quiet the screaming, and you sigh, wishing you still had that pair of noise canceling headphones you'd bought for yourself when you were twelve. Nothing for it; according to the great god google, sometimes the only thing that'll stop a baby screaming is screaming themselves to sleep. And right now you don't have anywhere that you can be sure she won't roll herself right off of, so you've gotta keep holding her.

Fuuuuuuuck.

You get so caught up in rocking from one side to the other, and forward and back, and rubbing gentle strokes down her back and keeping up a steady stream of meaningless words that you forget that Karkat is still in the room until you glance up and spot him, watching you with a weird, unreadable look on his face.

You don't ask; he won't be able to hear you because he's still plugging his ears, but you tilt your head to the side anyway, trying to show him the question you want to ask.

Karkat shakes his head, tilts his lips up in a weird half smile and heads out of the room, leaving you standing there wondering what the hell just happened.

#babystuck #homestuck AU #writing #Dave Strider #Babies

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