#lol i've been thinking about starting this little series since LAST JULY
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2023 in Review: Meta Edition
So I got tagged to do a moth-by-month meta review by a few people - @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan, and @ranchthoughts. I wasn't sure I had enough meta or posts, but then I remembered Only Friends...
So I figured, why not?
January/February
No meta from me yet - was still lurking/starting to poke my head out and interact a little.
March
My Favorite/Most Popular: Dome is Jesus! So I've long said that my first BL meta was for La Pluie, and that's true. However, my first meta since I started watching Thai dramas was for Midnight Museum (which is, technically, not a BL). Thus we have my Dome is Jesus meta. And I don't think I was wrong? But he was also way more than that, lol.
April
My Favorite/Most Popular: Dome is one of the four Horseman of the Apocalypse. Midnight Museum season 2 WHEN?
May
No meta this month.
June
My Favorite/Most Popular: Dream loves Nara. HAHA, my first La Pluie/BL meta and it's about the GL side couple. Dream wore that red 'N' right over her heart on that sweater and since I've been to the @respectthepetty school of color, I noticed it right away. AND I WAS RIGHT.
July
My Favorite/Most Popular: Turtle Tai. My La Pluie meta where I over identify with Tai for several paragraphs. I have no idea if it helped others who were struggling with Tai get a better understanding of where he was coming from emotionally, but writing it was cathartic and I'm so glad @lurkingshan poked at me and said I should write it.
August
Most Popular: Let's Talk About Trust, Baby. One of my first Only Friends metas from early on, when the show was absolutely eating my brain. I had a lot of fun breaking down the trust dynamics of the characters.
My Favorite: Baby, Let's Try. My breakdown of the Let's Try OST MV (and Only Friends BTS videos) analyzing the different framing devices and effects used and what it might be saying regarding our larger group discussions on ephemerality in regard to the show. When I watched this MV and realized what was happening, I had to drop everything and write out meta and that was so much fun.
September
Most Popular: Narrative Frameworks in Only Friends (post episode 4). I ended up doing this weekly and it was so fascinating... until the frameworks went away. Why, P'Jojo?
My Favorite: Working with @jenyifer to figure out the story of the Only Friends end cards for each episode. It finally put the mystery of those moments to rest and figuring out where they originated or where they fight in the chronology of the show really added some depth to certain moments.
October
My Favorite/Most Popular: With the dramatics and exhausting reveals of the Red Peafowl casting announcements, I loved my reaction: Let's Just Stan the Fucking Bird. @blmpff mentioned fan club memberships and the Featherheads were born.
November
My Favorite/Most Popular: (Stages of) Grief in Last Twilight. I wanted to explore where Day and Mhok were with the grieving process. My only Last Twilight meta (so far?).
December
My Favorite/Most Popular: Narrative Choices in For Him the series.
Honorable Mention: my most noted post of the year, lmao, but not a meta - my second Pit Babe is trending post.
Look at me, I got all wordy from July through November, LOL. Here's hoping for more meta and more brain rotting BLs in 2024.
Not tagging anyone, but if you see this and you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged!!
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2023 Writing Wrapped!
I think I forgot to do this last year but I was a little burnt out at the time. I had so much fun writing this year I wanted to do a little retrospective/celebration for it (which I encourage everyone to do! Even if you wrote just one fic, take a second to congratulation yourself for accomplishing it).
I wrote 34 fics and updated 118 times this year. Almost half of those were for the Children of the Crystal series (16 fics) but that series was so fun and clocks in at 121k so I'm totally okay with that. If anything, that's a bit of equalizing, because I know my fics are a lot longer on average than most people's since I write a lot of longer AUs (quick math off the top of my head is about half my fics are longer AUs) so now my words-per-fic average is probably a bit closer to usual lol. Actually that got me curious and my average is 20,176 which is honestly lower than I was expecting but still almost certainly higher than average since I've seen a lot of profiles without a single fic that long. Okay I'm a nerd and I did the math and it was only 21,041 before this year which is way more surprising since I really would have thought it was more.
Anyway, I posted 610k words this year between all my fics (though I wrote more in WIPs and upcoming projects). I had so much fun with a lot of the fics I did this year. Children of the Crystal is still a stand out for me, but I'm SO proud of 'the long way down' and I spent the first half of the year pretty feral for each idea as I tore through Hurricane Adora, As Many Lives As It Takes (To Be With You), Superzero, City of Angels, Trade Today For Tomorrow, and CotC of course. February through August I averaged 12 updates a month which is. insane. I updated daily for 12 days in a row in July/August for CotC, and I spent most of that fic series updating every other day.
A lot of that creative energy came from the health stuff that has been bogging me down for a few years (and especially last year) improving, and though I'm still dealing with that, I'm doing a lot better and it has really felt like rediscovering my creative passion. I had a span from like March-ish trhough August I called my "unhinged era" between how feral I was for my ideas, how much I was updating, and just how wild some of those ideas were lol. My slow down at the end of the year came from starting a new job that was very demanding and especially exhausting with my health issues, plus health issues for the rest of my family, but I've still been averaging updating once or twice a week since, so I'm happy with that given everything that has been going on.
Now let's get to the two big ones.
Writing streaks: Definitely not for everyone, but for me they're really motivating and 100% the reason I was able to keep up momentum these last three months with work. I wrote every single day this year. I still can't believe that. Sure, some days it was literally 50 words at the end of the day when I was exhausted, but I also had my highest single-word count day since I started recording them this year at 12,738 on July 18th when I was writing CotC. My previous record was 94 days in a row. 364 is a huge leap.
I don't know where I'm going to go with my streak from here. On one hand, it was hugely motivating. On the other, you always want to be careful to prevent burnout. For now, allowing myself to count days where I barely do anything as long as I engage with my WIP seems like a good middle ground since it keeps me motivated and connected to what I'm writing while letting me mostly take time off. I'm exploring more creative hobbies like painting in my free time, though, and as long as I've created that day I don't necessarily feel the need to write, so we'll see if I reconsider my writing streak as a "creating" streak in the future, but for now I'm just going to see how long I can go.
And the final one... my stupid goal.
I can't remember if it was at the end of last year or the start of this one when an anon pointed out how much I had written and I realized I was something like .99% of all Catradora fics on AO3, but my ridiculous goal for this year was to get my fics to 1% of the entire Catradora tag. This goal... I half reached. It takes a bit of explaining.
First, when I first set that goal, I think needed to write twenty-something more fics to reach it. Obviously, I well exceeded that goal at 34 fics, but as I was writing, so was everyone else, so the number of fics I needed to write to reach 1% increased. In the sense of my original benchmark, I definitely passed my goal.
Second, as I write this, AO3 shows there are 11,632 Catradora fics. You can consider 1% of this to be either 116 or 117 depending on rounding. I have 117 She-ra fics, but one of those is a Glimbow fic with no mention of Catradora, so that takes me to 116. However, one of those 116 is tagged as Adora & Catra because it's the CotC fic from when they're small children and meeting for the first time. I consider it a Catradora fic, but it's not actually in the tag and thus doesn't contribute to it. As such, I've fallen short at 115/117, but I really do consider this goal complete for this year given that I passed the initial milestone, the rounding makes the final number debatably 116, and I do actually have 116 "Catradora-centric" fics. That said, I'm very aware those are technicalities and I have a special celebration planned for when I actually, officially become 1% of the tag, so look out for that :) It'll be a great way to celebrate the new year. I'm hoping/planning to do it in the next week or two.
The future: I'm ending this year and starting the next trying to clean up a bunch of WIPs since my fic folder is getting a little ridiculous with the (mostly Outside of the War) one-shots I've written one scene or just a description for, which feels like a really fitting way to end off the year, accomplishing my goals and making everything neat and tidy. I have like 7~ to work though, though my actual goal is maybe 4-5 since I don't want to "force" myself to work on an idea if I'm not feeling it at the second, but I also have a longer AU calling my name, and I don't want to ignore an idea interesting me either... so we'll see, but I'm excited for everything I'm working on right now, and that feels really good. I finished last year in kind of a rough place writing/creativity wise, and I'm finishing this year really excited for everything I did and everything upcoming, so that feels pretty great :)
Thank you to everyone who read and commented this year! I know I ran out of energy to keep up with comments a lot, but they really made me smile so much and I appreciate them so much. Some days they were the difference between the motivation to write 1000 words versus 50. Thanks for another great year!
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2023 Writing Wrap-Up
I'm a little late this time around since it's already 2024, but I haven't done a writing wrap-up since 2021 and I thought it would be fun to bring back!
So this year, I was on quite a roll for the first half of the year. And then July rolled around and I started slowing down until it came to a screeching halt. Not sure what happened. Maybe it's my ADHD and constantly shifting hyper-fixations to blame. But I gradually managed to come back around just in time to post something for Christmas, which I'm still working on finishing. However, my hiatus doesn't take away the pride I still have for what I was able to write during the year. And I look forward to writing more in 2024! So here's all I managed to finish/get a good start on and post during 2023.
A Kiss For A Drink: 6,740 words; one-shot
I actually started writing this back in 2020 or 2021, intended to be posted on Valentine's Day. And then I got a point where I couldn't finish it and let it sit for about 2 years. I finally came back with some inspiration and motivation and finished it just in time to post for Valentine's Day 2023! I'm really happy with how it came out. It was a fun idea that turned into a fun fic with a few laughs included, even if it is one of my least-viewed fics lol I had fun writing it too, which is all that really matters!
Lunacy Fringe: 62,690 words; 8/8 chapters
To say this fic suddenly came out of nowhere would be an understatement. I literally got inspired out of the blue while listening to an episode of the Therapy Gecko podcast and the next thing I knew, I was balls deep in a psychological thriller. I actually managed to write it in just over a month or so!! Which is really incredible for me, especially considering I didn't step away from it at all or lose inspiration before it was finished. I'm really proud of how it turned out, and I haven't really told anyone, but I am working on converting it into an original story and possibly self-publishing. It could end up being my very first original novel :) the feedback I got was far more positive than I'd expected, especially considering how I portrayed Beth. I'm overall so so happy with how it turned out!!
Longer Than A Heartbeat: 157,289 words; 29/29 chapters
Now this... this fic is one of my proudest pieces by far. I'll never get over how happy I am with how it turned out, and how I was actually able to finish it. For the last few years, every time I rewatched "28 Days Later," I couldn't stop thinking about how it would make such a good Bethyl fic, and how I wanted to convert it into a Bethyl fic that included Rick and Judith. I finally did it!! Technically, I wrote it in 2022, but I didn't completely finish it and post it until 2023. When I say I write for myself... this fic really proves it, because I go back and read chapters from it all the time just because it's so fun and I love how I wrote it. I was also pleasantly surprised by the reception and how people who hadn't ever watched "28 Days Later" enjoyed it! Not to mention, @boltthrutheheart made some incredible custom manips for me that I can never get over!!
hot girl summer (playing by the rules); 167k+ words, 16/30 chapters
Ah yes, here she is... the companion piece to the first 3 fics of "in for a penny, in for a pound" that I've been planning/contemplating ever since I did that first fic from Beth's POV for the series. I always wanted to show Beth's POV for all the major moments in the series, and then once I got started, I figured why not go all in and just do her POV for the entirety of the series thus far? It gives a little more insight into how she's feeling, why she does the things she does and says the things she says, and we also get to see exactly what she was doing all those times that Daryl couldn't help wondering about her (because I already knew in my head, but I thought it might be fun to share with everyone else). I also thought it would make the set-up for the next fic a little better, so we could try and understand Beth's motivations better and where she's at in her head. Of course, I got pretty into it and then hit a speed bump and then suddenly, lost all ability to write. It'll come back soon, though. I can't wait to finish this fic and move on to the next in the series, and eventually conclude Beth and Daryl's tumultuous journey in this fun little AU.
Small Miracles; 39k+ words, 6/10 chapters
This is the fic that finally pushed me back into being able to write. I had no plans of writing for BHF 2023, and then I suddenly had this strike of inspiration for a very weird idea and decided to go with it and try and finish it in time to post for Christmas. I did manage to finish about 1/3rd of the fic in time, but I'm still writing it and haven't lost motivation yet, so that's a good sign! It's also just really fun and kind of cathartic to do a new exploration of Beth's journey through the eyes of an older Beth who survived Grady, with that fun little supernatural twist added to it. I can't wait to finish this one, because I've had a lot of fun writing it and really look forward to seeing what people think of her entire journey and the way it will conclude.
To everyone who's read my fics, left feedback, kudos, bookmarks, or even helped me bounce ideas off and come up with plans for fics... thank you so much! I appreciate everyone in this little fandom so, so much. Y'all mean the world to me, and I am so grateful that we have this wonderful community in our own little corner of the internet. Happy New Year to you all, and I hope 2024 brings you nothing but blessings!
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some thoughts about life right now;
i've been on a really intense project since late July and let me tell you, i am tired! i'm one of the few people at my job that specialize in this type of work--we are excited to train more--but for now i am just hanging out here preparing to trade one high pressure project for another for the foreseeable future. which ultimately is fine! even though it can be stressful, I would rather be doing this type of work, which is interesting and super fulfilling and matters a lot to me, than other types of work, which do not feel fulfilling and are actually pretty boring.
it's a little confusing to find myself here because last year i went on medical leave for mental health reasons and prior to that i was doing a very different kind of work, and when i came back in january they started me off with this new kind of work (which i do prefer) with basically no training from my supervisor. which is fine, i am comfortable learning on the fly and/or teaching myself, and i have both a lot of experience doing this and a lot of experience in Complex Projects, albeit in a different practice area. then i moved onto this project in late july. so like again very little training in this specific type of work but i assure you, nothing is as stressful as my last job was. and i do love this project! even though it's stressful! i've since learned that this is just going to be my specialty! which like...i am happy with the outcome but i feel like i sort of tripped and fell into it in the least expected way possible.
while thinking about it, i think i thought i'd only make it to this kind of work, this kind of project, by working hard--and i had a specific idea of what working hard looked like, what striving looked like. but i have been working hard for the last year or so, healing, learning, growing, recovering, all of it. and that is hard work. and by taking time to tend to myself, and grow and change and learn and heal, i became ready for this kind of stressful work. and that's not the narrative we have around this. culturally we have a narrative of self sacrifice and unpaid overtime and being really fucking type A and having unhealthy work/life balance, but as soon as I stepped away and said actually, i've had enough, i will not burn my life out for you, i started down a road that led me to doing the type of work i want to do in a healthier and more prepared way. and that's fucking awesome!
for now i am just trying to make it to the end of this project in mid october. which means coping skills, baby! wish i could write but i don't have capacity for it rn, and that's fine. so my priorities are: maintenance days (cleaning/chores). reading. knitting. baking. yoga. hiking. i want to make life as easy and cozy for myself as possible right now.
i haven't knit for several months and I'm thinking of trying my first sweater--this gorgeous sweater called Mountain Mist. however i've never done colorwork before so the pattern suggests doing the same colorwork in a swatch hat (here) to practice. i am SO HYPE!!! this pattern is also admittedly deeply my aesthetic. i showed it to my partner and he laughed bc it's so typically me lol. i also checked out the first book in Tana French's Dublin Murders series on audiobook to listen too while knitting. spooky season means murder mysteries. 🥰
also my work office is being remodeled so i will be working from home for the next 6ish months, and we're preparing to overhaul my little work corner in our house so it is better/more ergonomic/has more storage/is cuter. also i am going to get a standing desk for my poor knees 😵💫 recently worked from 8:30 to 9:30 and my knees hurt sooooo bad 😩
it's nice to know that a year ago i wouldn't have been able to handle this project or really know how to slow down and prioritize self care and after a ton of hard work on my mental health i'm now i'm like, well, it is a bit stressful but we got this. progress 😌💖
#currently#crimes new roman#gonna make lemon poppyseed bread next i think#doing laundry and cleaned out the pantry today. now going to order yarn.#also tmi but i got a new iud and i am In Pain lol so i am just going to take it super easy :)
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It feels like ages since I last posted an update for my Rhaenyra cosplay for Dragon Con 2023, but the last four weeks has been nothing but attaching the narrow trim to the seamlines of the overdress -- a tedious and fiddly process that had to be done by hand, and the trim had to be sewn down on both sides despite how narrow it is. I made good progress on it day to day, but the pictures were rather boring and similar week to week.
The nine vertical seams that have trim (no trim at center back, per the screen-used costume) come to a total of 447 inches. Sewing down each edge of the trim doubles that to 894 inches, or just under 25 yards of handsewing just to get the trim attached. At 7 or 8 stitches per inch, I figure that's something like 7000 itty bitty invisible stitches. Plus another two yards or so for basting the center front trim to make sure it was really centered once sewn down.
No wonder it took me four weeks, lol.
I still need to put the narrow trim on the edges of the sleeves, and I might get started on that today while watching Fourth of July movies (Independence Day and Hamilton at a minimum, maybe a few others), at least do the ironing to curve the trim slightly and baste it in place if nothing else. We're going to a friend's place for dinner and fireworks tonight, and while I certainly don't want to haul the entire (silk!) dress out of the house with me, taking one or both sleeves to sew on the ~30 minute drive over might not be a bad idea.
Besides getting going on the sleeve trim, now that the narrow trim is finished on the dress itself I've also been able to shift gears and start focusing on the wide neckline trim. I did a whole series of pinned tests to figure out what I wanted the center front to look like, how to make the pattern come together in the most visually pleasing way, and Jack helped me pick out the best option. Yesterday I trimmed the first two pieces to length and carefully handsewed the center front seam so the pattern matches up exactly:
The raw edges are currently just tucked under and pinned, and I need to figure out how much extra I want to leave -- enough so it won't fray or unravel, but not so much that the center front is weirdly puffy or stiff. This trim is at least partially polyester so I have been able to singe the cut edges to keep everything in place. I might be able to carefully do that on the center front edges, too.
After thinking about it overnight, I think I'm going to do this same treatment at center back, that mirroring of the pattern, and then just let the shoulder seams be whatever. The wig will mostly cover the center back, but eh I'd rather have the symmetry there.
So the next major task is getting all this neckline trim cut and placed, handsewn to the neckline of the dress and frayed ends all tucked safely away. It's going to be a bit tedious, especially at the shoulder seams, but hopefully it won't take me weeks and weeks like the narrow trim did!
Getting that wide trim in place is the last thing blocking getting the grommets in, so I'll be heading straight into that once the trim is even just mostly applied. There are things like the hem and the question of needing a modesty panel at center back that I can't even start on until I can lace the whole dress closed. And if it comes right down to it, I can cut corners on things like beading and the styling of the wig, or sewing a little bag to carry my stuff in. But the dress absolutely must have closures, or it's not really a dress, lol.
Given that, I think the order of operations is more or less: neckline trim, then grommets at center back and armscye/top of sleeve. Then hooks and eyes at the wrists, and a hem for the dress. Wig styling is probably the next highest priority, then the bag to carry stuff with me since the dress has no pockets. Then finishing the underdress, sewing on the large beads at waist and wrists, and then the tiny beads over the neckline trim. I've got one or two little adjustments to do to the jewelry that should probably come before the little seed beads on the neckline, but hopefully I'll be able to get to all of it in the next 8 weeks (!!) until I need to pack for Dragon Con.
I've also gathered basically all the components for my Harley Quinn cosplay, just waiting on one length of lining fabric to arrive -- but I'll talk all about that in its own post sometime soon here.
Eight weeks feels like hardly any time at all, especially given that I spent the last four weeks on what ended up being just one check mark on my rather long to-do list. But I am thrilled with how the dress is looking, and the narrow trim was definitely worth doing. It makes the dress look so much more like the screen-used costume.
Hokay. Time for movies and sewing. Here's hoping I can get through that to-do list in the next 58 days!
#RRD cosplay#my cosplay#my sewing#so much handsewing#so much#Dragon Con#Dragon Con prep#Dragon Con 2023#Dragon Con 2023 prep#long post
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so since you're gonna do the avatar!mc au with the entities you think each brother would fear the most (SO excited for that btw, my friend can attest to the fact that i've basically been rambling about tma x om nonstop since the first post you made that put the two together), i'd love to hear your thoughts on which entity each brother would *be* an avatar of, if you're cool with sharing! personally i love the ideas of specifically vast!levi and dark!belphie but i'd love to hear your takes on the concept! <3
So because of how time works, despite receiving this ask on July 12, by the time you see this it’ll be August! So the entire Avatar!MC series should be out by now, which I hope you will/have enjoy/ed. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept of Vast! Levi, which I’ve talked about before (as you know ;) ), but I will happily ramble about it again!
These aren’t gonna be short fics though bc I do Yearn to save that energy for The Longfic, which is still in the planning stages because a) I can’t pick a timeline, and b) trying to match up the timelines of Obey Me and TMA is hard, especially when I tend to have a violent disrespect for actually paying attention to the timing of plot events in both. I already fucked up a part of the plotting because I forgot the order we get pacts with the brothers lmao
Content warnings: Mentions/allusions to tma-typical Spookies, yet another installation of my Cursed Crossover idea, lengthy debates about what makes someone choose to become an avatar of fear, spoilers for Lesson 16+ of Obey Me and S5 of TMA
What Entity Do I Think The Brothers Would Serve? (Cursed TMA x Obey Me Crossover)
Lucifer
So I put him as falling victim to the Eye/Beholding bc of his whole thing about Secrets and Pride being about wanting control over your own image
And he does have a creepy tendency in canon to always know when his brothers are up to some Dumb Shit
BUT! You know what we see in Lucifer’s character that we see in a certain Entity?
A simultaneous manipulation of others and submission to being manipulated by a higher power
That’s right, I think Luci would be a Web avatar
But Winter, Lucifer wouldn’t wanna take marching orders from someone/thing else! He’s too proud for that— You’re right! He doesn’t want to. But he will.
He willingly submitted himself and his family to Diavolo for eternity to get what he wanted (saving Lilith)
And from how much we see him work, it’s safe to say that he’s a pretty damn essential part of running the Devildom
If he really wanted to, he could probably successfully pull a coup on Diavolo
But he doesn’t, because he’s trapped himself by his own honour code
Thus, the sexual tension bromance we all know and love/insist is Deeply Problematic and blacklist (depending on how much you like/hate dialuci lol)
10/10, would fill with spiders again
Mammon
I put Mammon as falling victim to the Buried for pretty obvious reasons
But admittedly picking a fear he’d serve is trickier
I had to get a bit abstract with it, but I think the Hunt might suit him
Not necessarily the primal *cough* and police brutality *cough* parts of the Hunt tho
More like how Basira was considered an avatar of the Hunt in the fearpocalypse because of her mission/promise to Daisy
See, Greed can stem from fear
Fear of losing what you have, of no longer being able to support yourself, of being preyed upon by others
So people become greedy as a defense mechanism, to protect what they have
If they’re on the offensive, they won’t be targeted
Also, if you’re constantly pursuing more more more, there’s no time to think about anything else
Like consequences, or guilt, or Feelings
If Mammon let his little tough guy act go too far for too long, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say he could start heading down the path to avatarhood
After all, people pay big money for hitmen and bounty hunters…
Leviathan
As I said last time, I can see why people would associate Levi with the Lonely first: he’s a shut in, he acts like he wants nothing to do with people/would rather be alone, and I get it
BUT! All of that actually stems from the fact that Levi has terrible self-esteem and thinks he deserves to be this gross shut in loser
While envy can make you want to bring others down to your level, so to speak, Levi tends to just shun “normies”, not actively conspire to sabotage them
He actually does crave understanding and to have people in his life, he just doesn’t know how to go about it
Boy’s got Mega Social Anxiety is what I’m saying (funny how both the Lonely and the Eye can be real bad for that, huh)
But the Vast? Nihilism? Takes all the pressure off
If everyone is a small, insignificant speck in the face of an uncaring, unfathomably large cosmos, who cares what you do? Who cares what people think of you?
Yeah, you’d be kinda weird too if you stared into the infinite abyss of the ocean and realized it was just the maw of a gargantuan sea monster too, Karen, lay off
Plus aesthetically, the great Awful Deep most people fear in the ocean is a comfort to Levi
And again, THE VAST IS MORE THAN JUST THE SKY
I WENT ON A BOAT ONCE
LIKE REAL FAR OUT, SO I COULDN’T SEE LAND FOR DAYS
IT WAS JUST ENDLESS B L U E
AND I WAS ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN
I SAW A FRACTION OF THE OCEAN’S S U R F A C E AND IT WAS I M M E N S E
Did you know we’ve only explored like 5% or whatever of our oceans? Think about that! Every Single Thing we know about what’s in there is just the tip of the iceberg!!! GOD KNOWS WHAT’S DOWN THERE!!! PROBABLY FUCKED UP FISH IS WHAT
*ahem* anyway, fishee
Satan
Another tricky boi
I marked him down as fearing the Desolation, as a reflection of what he fears most in himself
I probably could have also gone with Slaughter, but I’d say that’s more baby/early-Satan
Desolation is also about destruction of potential, and Satan has very carefully built himself into a non-rage-monster person
So tearing that all away from him is :)))
But what would Satan give himself over to?
Ceaseless Watcher, I want that twink OBLITERATED—
Satan clings to knowledge and erudition to distance himself from the rage he was born as
“Watch and learn” is literally how he became a person
I find it deeply funny that it could also easily be how he becomes a monster once again
Also if you think the avatar of Wrath wouldn’t have a use for supernatural blackmail you’re just straight up incorrect
Couple that with Satan’s various connections and he’d be a Force to Reckon With
Asmodeus
I put him as a victim of the Corruption bc I found it extremely fitting considering the duality of his romanticized image vs the “dirty” fluid-filled nature of Lust.
Lust can be really nasty, but as licentious as Asmo’s supposed to be, he’s surprisingly coy
(now part of that comes from the fact that Obey Me isn’t strictly 18+/full-on porn, but still)
There’s a lot of Interesting Ideas to unpack there with attitudes towards sex vs sensuality and idealisation vs reality
Now as for an avatar… I debated this for a very long time, tossing around Eye, Stranger, Spiral, even Web for like one second
But I think I’ve got it
Slaughter!
Specifically the musical/random outbursts of violence side (not so much the war side)
Why? Well for one, Biblical Asmodeus is said to “"transport men into fits of madness and desire [...] with the result that they commit sin, and fall into murderous deeds (Testament of Solomon, verse 23).”
But also, Obey Me Asmo’s affair with that portrait chick from the earlier lessons started a whole ass war
Like it or not, the boy is very good at instilling manic violence in people
They don’t call it bloodlust for nothing
Beelzebub
I paired Beel with an End avatar MC bc the boy fears losing his loved ones like he lost Lilith
You could argue that Desolation would fit there too but I liked how it fit Satan better
Now as for a Vibe…
I’m tied between Flesh and Corruption tbh
Though corruption is mostly bc buge :)
So I’ll talk about the Flesh
So uh, mass consumerism, meat is meat, cannibalism… see where I’m going?
Ignoring the Hans because that was super racist, the two Flesh avatars I remember best are Jared Hopworth and The Guy Who Stuck His Arm in a Spooky Meat Grinder To Feed His Buds
I think of Jared in relation to Beel not because of the gym thing, but because his very chill/apathetic attitude towards his patron is similar to how I’d picture Beel’s approach to all this
Like “well, guess I’m here now”
I love Beel as much as everyone else, but he’s not exactly apologetic about his… habits
Not to the degree that he’d actually try and change them anyway
So if he got started on the path to Flesh avatarhood, he’d be pretty fucked
Belphegor
I put Web for him as a fear almost entirely because of the concept of Uno Reverse Card, ngl
It does technically tie into his whole thing about being trapped in the attic, since he’d denied all agency and freedom in there, but… Uno Reverse
Dark!Belphie is an interesting concept, and MAG86 “Tucked In” is iconic, but tbh I don’t really… Get the Dark
Don’t get me wrong, put me in a dark place and I will be scared, I don’t like not seeing things, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around why one would become an avatar of the Dark
It’s not a very “primary” fear imo? Like, I’m scared of the dark bc I can’t see what’s there, ie. a threat could be there and I wouldn’t know, but intellectually I know it’s just the absence of light. That’s not really spooky on its own.
I guess what I’m saying is I can attribute spookier things related to the Dark better to other Entities, so I’m not sure what its draw is specifically
According to the Entity Sexiness Survey I did a while back, there’s apparently some Catholic stuff going on with the Dark so maybe that’s why i don’t get it lmao
Anyway I’d put Belphie down for Spiral
“What lies behind a smile” indeed cowboy
Apparently it’s getting choked
Is it because MC’s entire relationship with him is originally founded on a lie?
Is it because the Spiral deals with distortions in your perception, gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing, as well as foggy liminal mental spaces like between sleep and consciousness, death and life?
Is it because I think Belphie would absolutely delight in driving someone bananas by fucking with their dreams until it bleeds into their waking life?
Is it because being a person or consistent being at all is too much effort, consistent internal geography is hard, fuck it, just be an endless twisting series of hallways?
Yes :)
#obey me#tma#cursed tma x om crossover#obey me headcanons#tma the entities#lucifer#mammon#leviathan#satan#asmodeus#beelzebub#belphegor
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