#lol but I did get a good laff
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(dating sim ask) listen. you and i both know who im going to ask for. eliana my beloved 💖💖💖 (also [throws dart at board] secretforger. for laffs.)
TWO WILDLY DIFFERENT ROUTES, NGL
Eliana's Route would include a lot of flirting and fun!! (Setting the timing of this in her piracy phase so I don't have to worry about the Deeply Invested like nine other ppl in her polycules lol) She's all about nicknames and sappy stuff, and if you give her a sea-flavored gift then you'll live in her mind rent-free forever <3 She's also very partial to height differences. She's 4'10" (~147 cm) and if you're a bunch taller than her or just capable of carrying her with ease, she'll be very attached very fast because you'll make her feel safe! ♥
- She's going to encourage piracy, snuggles, smooches - all without labels! If you can't be at least a little down with her wanting snuggles pre-getting together officially, then it probably won't work out :( 'No smooches until official' she'll pout about to be silly but won't press you on! (There are no negative points for wanting to be official before smooches!! she just teases you a bit and asks if she can at least give you cheek and forehead kissies akjsdns)
- The first "I love you" moment will involve her panicking about it and immediately finding a way to avoid you for a hot minute! (Think like, a few days at most!) It also will not be her saying it. <3
- IF you've been open to her shenanigans and allowing her to dodge some deeper questions: Most likely, she shows up in your bedroom in the middle of the night (via a window. she broke in ♥ hope you don't mind!) and she's very dodgy about the ily thing but does explain that she has had very bad experiences surrounding those words in the past. But! She promises that as long as you give her time and some space about it, she'll figure out exactly how she feels and let you know when she's ready to!
[A readmore because this got very long]
Good Ending: Requires agreeing to wait for her! ;w; She needs time to process such emotions (and them being reciprocated) before she feels okay with acting on them in a serious context. (Also need to be accepting of her being polyamorous! Which she wouldn't know when you get together, but she'd figure it out down the road a little bit lol) But! You'll have a cute new pocket-sized gf who's always down for snuggles and will absolutely shoot people who wrong you, darling. <3
Neutral Ending: If you're not alright with her polyamory or with waiting on her, there's two ways this can go! You part on amicable terms, but there would be an option to be open to flings in the future, lol. but once you Agree to "only flings" then you'll never have another chance because she's going to mentally mark off the possibility of a serious relationship with you entirely KJDNG but you'll still get to see her sometimes! :D Otherwise, just parting ways, you may never see her again at all.
Bad Ending: This could come from several possibilities. Either you haven't been down with her snuggles or smooches or piracy shenanigans at all, and she kinda just drops you because those are all super important to her. :'( Or you get to the point of the nighttime visit and have Big Issues with her about the disappearing act! In which she would likely snap back at you for a moment, scold herself for trusting someone again, and leave to never be seen again. T_T
-- On to Secretforger !! --
Hey, wh- how'd you get in here?? Did you hack the dating sim?? Are you that down bad for demon snuggles?? because mood, actually. me too.
Secretforger's Route (never thought I'd write those words) would definitely be... Interesting! They are aro/ace so there isn't a romantic possibility, but you could be shooting for a QPR anyway so have at it!
- I have no idea how this would start. You either know Eliana who's carrying the book, or Liifa who's carrying the book, or Secretforger picked you as their next victim and you pulled an Eliana and decided you were going to make them into your friend now! I'll work based off that one because it's easiest lol.
- They're going to... Well, try to do their 'job' which is haunting you, showing you horrible visions, and implanting paranoia-inducing things into your mind! They're also going to try to get you to make a Deal that gives them access to your soul. If you want to live, Don't ♥
- You'll need to have your own Edgy Angst Streak to garner their interest, but they definitely have a preference for the ambitious and ruthless. Often you can actually distract them from their game by doing horrible things to achieve your goal, and they'll want to see more horrible things so they'll help you out sometimes! But they do also want to see you fail sometimes. :)
Good Ending: You end up with a somehow-amicable friendship with them! If you're on good enough terms, you may be able to talk them into snuggling! (Even if you don't ask, they might swap to Domestic Housecat Form and snuggle you anyway, but you can't say anything about it. Say a word and they leave.) I don't know if they'd ever be in an official QPR? so this is about as close as you can get! (unless i figure smth out later lmao)
Neutral Ending: They're still harassing you, trying to corrupt you, etc. You're treating them like Abaddon's most disappointing child who couldn't balance a pencil on their claw if they really really really tried to. Mutual annoyance! :D
Bad Ending: homeboy (gender neutral) it's a demon from a book of demons, this ending is the most likely probably! :') They're going to corrupt and possess you and use you for evil things, like murder and general mayhem - and then they're going to unpossess you, and leave you to deal with the aftermath of their joyride. >:) honestly their route is kinda one of those... "you're lucky if you die before its over" kind of routes because otherwise you have to deal with their cruel curses and aftermath for the rest of your life. gkfjnKJSDFNJ they are Not Kind <3
#c:Eliana of Dusk#c:Secretforger#thank you so much for the ask !! <3#hehe this was really fun actually kajsnkajsh was debating doodling panels but if i did i'd never answer kjhkfjgd#BUT if i doodle any in the future u might get tagged <<#ALSO. HONESTLY. FELT A LITTLE BAD WRITING SECRETFORGER'S BAD END STUFF NGFKJBKFJDN#dating sim ask game#hella insecure abt posting this?? BUT IVE BEEN STARING AT IT FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES SO. YEETS OUT OF MY INBOX <3 KSDJHKSJDF
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!!!
I’m so glad I chose that one. You know I would read that immediately once you’re done. I think you’re trying to kill me though, being all miss zuipperpips about dogwoods are comin’ in blue.
I thought it was a pretty amazing coincidence! you managed to sniff out the one little section I included from that, haha!
as for dogwoods comin' in blue, it is just. I just have a lot of feelings about them, and i didn't know how to explain without sounding insane, which i definitely DO btw however because at this point you are fairly aware of how insane I am about these two, I will put the actual words i said before i wrote the fic itself beneath the cut c:
PS it is named for the song, "Good Day for Marrying You". Yes I am that sappy.
Direct copy/paste from discord warning:
me shuffling my papers where i say things like "i think bro and mom would get platonically married literally just for laffs but then also somehow take it so fucking seriously i mean they go to vegas and get married by elvis but then they also go to the courthouse and start filing joint taxes and putting away retirement funds and 401ks i mean it's SO serious like they are not kissing they're not but they ARE wearing wedding rings and they ARE legally married and bro definitely is like, i mean if we're post canon and they're alive he's definitely too busy and tired to be kissing BUT if we're talkin au he's like, definitely dtf whoever but like doesn't go out of his way to correct people who flip if he's married and cares more about getting dave through college also yes they're like 40 by the time they get married rose and dave have moved out and i don't even think mom and bro live together but they're also definitely not legally separated and celebrate their anniversary every year by going on a "honeymoon" type situation and send photos to dave and rose that are like, taken by a professional photographer and it's just rly good like that is how much i think they love each other literally THAT much" but then i don't say that bc yes it's my deranged hot girl summer but it's not THAT deranged of a hot girl summer
(and then it DID in fact become THAT deranged of a hot girl summer)
the fic itself is basically like, 500 times that bro asks mom to marry him, and 499 times she says no btw. I also wrote it in-line with RnG canon for some reason. It is like, secretly just the rng world but i made it so that one day they get married. idk, u and me are both perplexed by this. i cannot be stopped however.
here is more for u, because i actually secretly want to talk about this all the time:
"Marry me," you say for the first time, thirty-three and half and insane out of your mind with a grief that just barely belongs to you. You lie on your back on a futon in Houston, Texas, and your best friend sits on your stomach, trapping your arms on either side.
Her eyebrows arch immediately, face splitting in half with a grin. She laughs, pink and beautiful as she's always been, and throws the blanket you were fighting over around her shoulders like a cape, dipping down and pressing her lips to the corner of your mouth, smearing black grease across your cheek. "No, Dirk. Of course I won't."
"I know," you say, rolling over and taking her with you as you crash to the floor.
anyway i'm terrible and would probably just go and go and go writing this nightmare if i did not have 15 other things i should be doing instead LOL
#not writing meme actually#just me being unhinged as always#here is a bunch of deserts lore u did not ask for
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hey every time i log onto this website and read ur posts, i relate so heavily to your personal intertwinement with the story + characters and i absolutely understand your perception of R&M cuz? i always saw it as an encapsulation of the cycles of abuse especially through generations within family? and when i try to explain that to other people like irl or w/e while watching it theyre like wat .. so i UNDERSTAND where ur coming from and i FEEL bad that u get embarrassed or w/e (altho i deal with those feelings too?) basically just trying to tell you you are HELLA seen and far far from alone
🥺🥺🥺 THANK YOUUUU i appreciate that..... mayhaps a certain type of childhood or family life primes a certain understanding of rnm and an investment others don't always have. it's a factor that plays heavily into connecting with this series for sure.. many of us (fans. or whatever) are like this, like it is that deep for us but even to those people, i can scarcely relate. because most of them have this umm desire to see the wrongs righted and to be comforted by the show and then the writers notice that and then i don't feel that rick's change of character is gradual enough and involves enough sacrifices and struggle and lol you get the idea!! i like tragedies, i prefer to be hurt by my shows, that's the type of comfort i need. i digress.. but the point is, often i feel like a minority in here, thanks for taking the time to tell me you relate and you understand <333
also hmm i feel like within the group of fans that are dedicated and care about the future of this show, very few are in it for. comedy. or cool sci-fi moments? or maybe more like, all of the dedicated fans are dedicated to the story and the characters and definitely not to the old structure of rnm that allowed it to be an endless fun machine. at some point you have to make the stuff that happens count and affect the characters so people have something to come back for, so the episodic format could not have been maintained, not with the sudden widespread interest in the show. the new direction, the sincerity and drama and addressing canon and letting the characters grow Are for us, those who ended up caring! but i'm still embarrassed about caring, in my worse moments, i can't help it :P the writers even went out of their way to make fun of us for our investment in s4 and 5 and since it's popular, i see many casual viewers around who simply don't care that much. and are just here for a laff. that's weird to me!
and, the new direction puts me in a weird position because i did love it for the dysfunction and the angst, that's an integral part that needs to be featured predominantly in my opinion to make the hopeful moments really hit (and it's prominent in my family too HYDHBY so that would just feel more realistic for me and satisfy Me personally)
maybe i'm just concerned with what upcoming seasons are gonna do because if we have a long way to go until the end, i would have preferred if they took more time with the overarching storylines of seasons 1 through, idk, 3..... and just generally approached the previous seasons with very slow character development in mind, but character development for sure. if they were more deliberate about it and didn't have an "oh shit we have expectations to live up to now and loyal fans to satisfy. but we don't wannaaaa.. don't tell us what to do :'(" crisis in the middle of it lmao. i don't have a fundamental problem with betterment arcs, i'm just not sure this will be done right in the particular instance of rick and morty
i'm also just pondering the different subsets of viewers now and how conflicted the show has seemed (in the past. i wouldn't apply this to s6) about what it wants to be... and thinking about all the ways my affection for rnm could be misunderstood 😔 the worst "fans" have been the loudest, they didn't exactly give us a good name lol, but this is personal for me so i can't just stay away or keep silent (duh!) so i oughta consider the public perception. and perceptions are super varied! it's another one of those shows that isn't a show, it's popular enough and inconsistent enough to be a phenomenon. so inevitably i will be embarrassed, it means so many different things to different people and i care. i care very much
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what happens when u run out of fish. how many fish did you start with.
took me way too long to figure out what this is referring to oops. i couldnt think of a good blog name so i picked something random in my notes app which happened to be about how many fish i have left to catch in toontown rewritten LOL. 70 fish total when i catch them all i get a laff (hp) boost :)
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got a new follower after a lot of bots recently and this. I really did just start wheezing. thanks so much. lololol
#also didn't wanna get ur username in case you're not comfortable with it#lol but I did get a good laff#not fr#technically#I guess
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TASK 06: CHARACTER INSPO
honorable mentions that aren’t strong parallels but i’m including them just for laffs: dennis reynolds (it’s always sunny in philadelphia), klaus hargreeves (the umbrella academy), jj maybank (outer banks), roman roy (succession), michelle mallon (derry girls), and this text post
see below for me going alligator_talking.gif about the six main parallels!
lip gallagher (shameless): ok i will not lie it has been years since i watched shameless so this one is mostly just vibes but his vibes are soooo jamie. especially the whole “feeling deeply but not knowing how to express feelings well so they come out in destructive ways” energy. i think the main similarity that differentiates lip from the other characters i included on here is that he’s smart in the same way that jamie is. sometimes i forget but jamie is actually very booksmart lmao it just doesn’t matter to him bc he never showed up to class and did not even consider college. so from what i remember of lip’s arc it’s the same kind of wasted potential energy where he could be applying his brain and succeeding in life but instead he does not give a flying fuck about academia and would rather be a menace to society.
dimitri (anastasia): i just thought of this parallel this morning and now i am absolutely obsessed with it. to be clear, i am not talking about the dimitri in the second half of the movie who learns to be selfless through falling in love and is sexily redeemed. i’m talking about the first half where he’s a lying con who manipulates others to his own ends and is a complete smooth-talking asshole. and also, the whole backstory of growing up poor and believing money will solve all of his problems? very jamie. even just the way he like, talks and carries himself is super similar to jamie’s mannerisms in my mind.
james cook (skins uk): once again i must include a disclaimer that i watched skins a super long time ago and my memory is poo. but ever since i came across this gifset, the jamie/cook parallel has lived rent-free in my head for months. i think the most distinctive thing he brings to the melting pot of jamie parallels is the fact that he is such a fucking survivor. like, no matter what bullshit he gets into & what kind of messes he creates for himself, he gets up and keeps going like a gross lil cockroach u keep trying to squish under your boot (thank you again to blair for that iconic comparison). and of course the general shitty troubled boy energy and the belief that he’s not really worth much at the end of the day.
john bender (the breakfast club): i know this movie is outdated and bender does some things that are straight up not okay but those are not included in this parallel thanks! we’re talking about the reckless disregard of rules and authority, the never knowing when to shut up, impulsivity and always fucking things up for himself. this is yet another case in which i don’t remember that much about the details of this movie lol but the vibes are 100% there.
jess mariano (gilmore girls): it’s this gifset for me if i’m being honest... the sarcasm is absolutely jamie vibes. i don’t think he has a ton in common with jess on a deep personality level but this one is mostly just based on energy? like the no-good kid who has a bad reputation in his small town, doesn’t give a shit what any of those people think, just walks around being a smartass instead. it’s also the mannerisms and the dry humor and emotionless witty facade.
rue bennett (euphoria): we’re just going to ignore rue’s whole addiction storyline because this one is also strong on just vibes! like if i had to describe how jamie carries himself through his day-to-day life, it’d be as a combination of dimitri, jess, and rue. i’m also including her because there is for sure something to be said for the fact that she believes the only thing she can do is hurt people, and there’s no point in trying to really better herself ‘cause she’s always just gonna be a shithead. that’s big jamie energy too.
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I am Reading Toontown Info and trying to develop a concrete backstory for our little duckling because I'm trying to write a fic now that involves his backstory as well as canon.
I'm thinking: Did he get the HQ name because he was found in a Cog HQ building or something?
Having a name like that totally wouldn't have kick-started the "outsider feeling" shhhh
Sorry for not getting to this until now, I'm really with answering asks lol-
There are Cog headquarters which are both the main bases and manufacturing plants for the Cogs. I don't remember if there's any official lore on how exactly Toons are "made" but it'd be pretty odd for a Toon to be native to an HQ, but then again I can imagine that Toon dsmp!Q would've been an odd duck (not sorry for the pun) compared to the other Toons so anything's possible! ... and if I had to pick one of the four HQ's my first instinct is Lawbot of course
However there's also Toon HQ's too, where Toons go to receive ToonTasks, which are kinda like bounties. Basically you talk to one of the officers there and they give you a list of tasks to choose from which range from defeating cogs to delivering goods to citizens. In turn for completing these tasks Toons can receive all sorts of rewards like jellybeans (the currency of Toowntown), more laff points (the in-game hp), new gags to use (what the Toon use to fight), or even silly just for fun rewards.
Feel free to do whatever you wish with that info ^_^
#I used to play that game all the time when I was a kid#I remember getting decently far but I never even got close to doing everything#Toon c!Q my beloved#He's just a little guy- he's a bit cog-like for a toon but I see no issues in that!#You could maybe go for a double meaning sort of thing with it#considering the two types of HQ's#ask#answered#aquaeclipse#toon!Q
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Fic Writer Questions!
tagged by @palamedessextus !!! thank u i love to procrastinate on writing by writing about writing
1) How many works do you have on AO3?
110 on my main account (+ 4 on my sneaky sock for Crimes™ lol)
2) What’s your total AO3 word count?
614,551 on my main account which is. hm. a lot
3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
obvi the main ones are the terror (50 fics) and good omens (35 fics). beyond that: TMA, the OA, doctor who, LOST, red dwarf, what we do in the shadows, the aubreyad, legends of tomorrow, banished, MCU, bbc ghosts, jeeves & wooster, russian doll, true detective, twin peaks, fleabag, & it's always sunny.
so technically 19, but wow a LOT of those are because i am a fiend for crossovers. (true detective x red dwarf... twin peaks x hannibal... the OA x lost.... russian doll x doctor who...) and many of the others were one-offs for yuletide. i'm pretty monofannish when it comes to writing!
4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
lol they're all going to be for good omens... let's see
1. "it's a new craze" - the podcast fic. imho this fic is the definition of "The Claw," a.k.a. the phenomenon that sees some fics plucked out from the fray to become super popular. i'm not denying that it's good! i still think it's pretty clever! but its popularity was probably as much a function of timing as of quality
2. "what a way to make a living" - the uber driver fic. honestly still pretty proud of this one, it flows well and is structurally interesting and genuinely very funny and the perfect length. i had a blast in good omens fandom writing comedic fic, this one
3. "dearly departed" - another one i'm still very happy with. my first ever finished multi-chapter fic & the story that proved to me i could sustain a plot and original characters and also that people would actually enjoy it. so a pretty big deal!
4. "blame it on my juice, baby!" - the fake love potion one. i wrote this fic while delirious with horrible fever cooped up in a tiny council flat airbnb bedroom in london. i think it's still pretty strong although since writing it i've developed a severe aversion to the "meddling friend engineers a get-together" trope in fic & so cringe a bit when i read it back, lmao
5. "greatest hits" - the one with the original songs! the songs are still good.... the fic is ehhhhhhh i guess.
5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
i don't respond to comments on most of my gomens fic anymore because 🤷♀️ but i do try to reply to everything i get on my terror fic/smaller fandom stories! my replies are usually very lame but i do like to take the time to thank people for reading.
6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
i usually don't write angsty endings because i'm a weenie BUT the one exception is probably my terror/TMA crossover which cannot be said to end well by any means lol
7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
dearly departed has a very lovely ending... i will also plug my OA fic heat rises which is GREAT and has a GREAT ending and nobody read it because nobody watched the OA. i'm fine it's fine
8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?
as mentioned above, yes, compulsively... award for craziest simply has to go to It's Always Sunny In Another Dimension which is, yes, an IASIP x OA crossover. i apologize for nothing
9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?
not that i can recall, [bubbe voice] tenks gad!!!
10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?
i do i do.... when i first picked up fic writing again after college i thought smut would forever totally beyond me but after some very kind encouragement from friends i tried my hand at it & was off to the races.
i would not say i am an expert at it by any means but i have a lot of fun with it, & people seem to generally appreciate it, so i will keep going!
11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
also no, phew
12) Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes, a bunch of my gomens fics have been translated into chinese and russian, which is so so super cool!
13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yuh, i had a few legendary cowrites in GO! the slow show metafic with cherry @fremulon and the shitscript crossover extravaganza with hallie @kalelraejepsen !!! both tremendously fun experiences
14) What’s your all time favorite ship?
that is a very tough one. if you go by my ao3 bookmarks it's aziraphale/crowley, which might be true still tbh... but i dunno. maybe ten/rose because that shit never leaves you.
15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
in terms of fic i already started posting, there's my one terror WIP with amnesiac tozer that i swear i WILL finish one day... and same goes for my good omens music & lyrics AU, which i fully expect to pick back up and finish off when i inevitably return to the fandom for series 2.
as far as stuff that never made it out of drafts, i started a hodgson-centric fic a few weeks ago that i got like 4k into before realizing i need to seriously refine my approach. so hopefully after exe fest i will get around to that!
16) What are your writing strengths?
well i am funny. so i've got that going for me. other than that ummmm i don't know. i don't think of myself as a particularly good or strong writer bc i really am just here for a laff. i think i can turn a phrase well and get the most out of imagery; i'm good at coming up with compelling story concepts and weird gimmicks, i guess?
17) What are your writing weaknesses?
i fundamentally don't know or understand how People Actually Act And Feel so i have a hard time getting realistic or interesting reactions and conflicts out of characters. my plots (when my stories have them at all) are very powered by external events, i wouldn't call myself a character-driven writer by any means. for the same reasons i struggle with voice and dialogue beyond superficial signposting via vocabulary/syntax. also, sustaining a long story/finding enough Stuff To Happen to fill it up/having the patience to keep writing... is something i need to work on for sure.
18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i'm a lame american who only speaks english so honestly i don't really have thoughts!
19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?
i distinctly remember hand-writing in my notebook two or three pages worth of a story about what happened to the main precog in "minority report" after watching the movie when i was like seven. the first fandom i actually wrote fic for and posted it online was probably doctor who circa 2010 ish? but my warrior cats RP career predates that by a few years and i did a LOT of writing there. oh warriorsforest39 dot proboards dot com you are missed....
20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
SEX GHOST AU! SEX GHOST AU!
tagging folks :))) @laissezferre @titleleaf @theburialofstrawberries @girdedheraround @flanneryoconnorfanfiction @wreathedwith if u want!!
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The Weird Winds Of Wionna is why I ship Mark/Fred, Tinker/Shaggy, and Debbie/Daphne [although I'm now partial to Debbie/Velma]. And I honestly just wish we had more Scooby Doo/Speed Buggy crossovers, preferably in The New Scooby Doo Movies, had it lasted longer then 2 seasons. Also, I wish there had been a crossover with Butch Cassidy in The New Scooby Doo Movies, but I'm just glad they did the crossovers with Josie and Speed Buggy.
“The Weird Winds of Winona” really did do a great job with the character interactions, didn’t it? Both in the interactions you would expect, like how well Mark and Fred worked together and the Tinker + Speedy + Shaggy + Scooby quartet not wanting to investigate the caves, and the ones I thought was a nice mix-up of things, like towards the end with Velma and Speed Buggy and Fred with Debbie and Tinker. I think my favorite scene of the two groups interacting was when Shaggy thought he was being attacked by the mannequin and they all tried to help him, good stuff. (Though honorable mention goes to the scene where Mark tells Daphne and Velma to go get the sheriff while he stays behind to help the others, and the girls decide they’re staying behind to help the others too.)
The episode did a really good job with the Speed Buggs just in general I think. Debbie was excited/passionate (but still competent) and meshed well with Velma’s investigative attitude, Tinker stood out well from Shaggy by being more hesitant than cowardly, and Mark and Speedy Buggy are probably tied for my favorites of the episode, since the writers did a great job of expanding Mark’s general leader/responsible nature by letting him have some action scenes, and Speedy was just BabyTM throughout it (especially when Tinker had to take the pancakes away from him because Speedy didn’t understand that he didn’t want indigestion). There weren’t as many interactions just between the Speed Buggs in this ep, but what we did get were good, like when Mark put his hand on Tinker’s shoulder during his “we didn’t mind helping” (or whatever it was) line, and Debbie’s whole “what’s more important - an automobile race or the human race?” thing and the boys not buying it.
I’ll put the rest of this under a read more because this answer is already getting long lol.
There were definitely some good Mark/Fred moments during the episode, like towards the end where the two of them planned a trap for one of the bad guys together and that one shot of them sleeping near one another in the barn. I think the main reason it didn’t catch my attention the same way Debbie/Velma did is because I think there were good Shaggy/Fred moments in the episode as well (and the one Mark/Tinker moment I already mentioned) and I like the idea of all those ships. Overall a good episode for those who have gay/m-spec Fred headcanons.
There were also some good Tinker/Shaggy moments too - I liked the one where Shaggy said he was going to hold up a light for Tinker so they could fix the Mystery Machine late at night for example - but I actually associate this ship less with “The Weird Winds of Winona” and more with Laff-a-Lympics. Not because there are actually Tinker/Shaggy moments in the show (I mean, there might be in eps I haven’t seen yet, but I assume due to the size of the cast that won’t be happening), but just because I like the idea of Shaggy insisting that his boyfriend get to be on the team with him. It could be viewed that “The Weird Winds of Winona” was the start of their relationship and Laff-a-Lympics takes places while they’re actively dating, I suppose. That would work timeline-wise.
Despite preferring Debbie/Velma, I do get the appeal of Debbie/Daphne as a ship. When I’m thinking about crossover ships I too tend to ship characters with similar personalities/roles together - I quite like Merilee/Daphne for example - so shipping them together does make sense to me. I just think the dynamic the episode gave Debbie and Velma though was too good for me to ignore.
I think another Speed Buggy episode would have fit well in The New Scooby Doo Movies if it had more seasons, since the show had no issue with repeating guest stars given that there were 2 Batman episodes and 2 Harlem Globetrotter episodes, and also since “The Weird Winds of Winona” was just a really good episode. Maybe a second episode could have had a Speed Buggy-style villain instead, since they tend to run into a lot of mad inventors/mad scientists as opposed to just regular dudes in costumes.
I would have liked to see crossover episodes with all of the rest of the early 70s Mystery Teens honestly - the Funky Phantom crew, the Chan Clan, the Ghost Chasers, and the Sundance Kids. Given that “The Haunted Showboat” had the Pussycats in their normal designs and not their space designs (despite in Outer Space being the show airing at the time), the ones that aired outside of 1972-73 would have been fair game. But like you said, I am happy that we did get Josie and the Pussycats and Speed Buggy episodes.
As for a how a hypothetical Butch Cassidy crossover would work, I wonder if the show would have gone for a plot where the Sundance Kids are on a mission and the Scooby Gang happens to run into them and want to help, or if the Sundance Kids are off the clock and happen to run into the Scooby Gang. In the former the story would have to deal with the Sundance Kids having to hide the fact that they’re spies - like them finding out some clues from Mr. Socrates and then having to come with an explanation for how they figured it out that isn’t “our sentient computer boss told us so” - and that could take away from the more natural character dynamics that “The Weird Winds of Winona” had, so it would probably be better to go with the latter. It probably wouldn’t be too hard to come up with a premise to have them meet: like, have Sundance Kids playing a show and the Scooby Gang is there to watch it, but then it gets interrupted by a villain in a costume trying to stop the concert from happening for money reasons or whatever. Pretty straightforward.
There would for sure be some fun/interesting character interactions that would come out of this crossover. Fred and Butch trying to blend their two different leadership styles of ‘careful planning involving everyone’ and ‘directly tackling problems solo’ is probably the obvious one. Shaggy and Wally would definitely be on the same wavelength about avoiding scary/dangerous situations at all costs, and I think the episode could play up Shaggy’s athleticism in comparison to Wally’s physically weaker nature (given that he’s shown to be slower than the rest of the Sundance Kids and is easily airsick/seasick/motionsick) to set them apart from one another. There could be a joke about Elvis not being able to talk while Scooby can. I can’t think of any examples for the girls off the top of my head but you get my point. I think there’s a lot of potential there.
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the spanish princess ep 5
i really don’t want to do this anymore lol
i choose to believe lina calling catherine “highness” and not “your majesty” is a deliberate sign of disrespect towards her shitty friend, and not emma frost’s shitty writing
2020 mood
love the idea that charles brandon has to just hang out with this eight year old all the time until he marries her??
oh, so i guess this is the episode where henry starts to go full excess party king and ruairi is...genuinely bad at it, sorry dude
you know, i wish they’d just ripped off the tudors masque scene instead of giving us...whatever this is
side note i take back what i said about laura carmichael being a bad actress. she’s good, just ends up in bad roles. i’d like to see her in a comedy (by which i mean a show that is *intentionally* funny)
love the idea that thomas more, who by this point had written a history of richard iii, apparently has no clue who maggie’s parents are
remember when andrew buchan was absolutely killing it in broadchurch and the honourable woman? great times
so...you’re telling me...maggie & more are self isolating after being exposed to an extremely infectious disease...oh god this is too 2020 to handle
YES finally some thomas boleyn plotting! i like this dude, he’s hot, but i miss nick dunning’s slimy scheming, that was so much FUN
the editing on this show, even to my untrained eye, is so bad
*~eMoTiOn~*
can’t wait for tsp stan twitter to put me on a watchlist for being mean to their girl, but i guess there’s no accounting for taste
we’re not getting the year of the three queens??? i wanted a margaret and mary reunion!!!
STOP CALLING JAMES V THE FUTURE KING OF SCOTLAND WHEN HE’S THE ACTUAL KING, I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW THICK THIS WRITING IS
i like meg’s riding outfit, idk if she’s supposed to be in disguise as a man or whatever, but i’m digging it
albany is nice but he’s still not HOT (i am the only person complaining about this)
“and wolsey? why do you let him humiliate me before the court?” catherine don’t deny me the one pleasure i get from this show
henry being all like “if bessie has a boy i’ll know it’s not my fault” while catherine is in his arms is too funny
“who says he punishes us?” catherine you’ve been saying it for the past few episodes, get a brain
i like how they style maggie in this ep with her hair down, she looks so young and carefree
elizabeth of york mention, isabel neville mention, i just automatically hiss like haloumi hitting a hot pan
HAHAHA MARY FUCKED LOUIS TO DEATH OF COURSE
god catherine is just truly an almighty piece of shit and i cannot wait for this all to come crashing down on her, it will be so satisfying to me personally
mary gets cute costumes
meg’s red riding cape is also nice
my shitlist has expanded from ef & ch to include whoever did the soundtrack, it’s abysmal
stan jane stewart! call out your trash boyfriend! let him know!
i am DYING at mary’s fake tears, i love her so much
“i ran my own household when i was forced into poverty” yeah and you were bad at it lol. ALSO!!! QUEENS RUN THEIR OWN HOUSEHOLDS!!!
“let’s fall in love then” but...aren’t...you...already...in love??
lina keeps calling catherine highness it’s SO funny
she is an ICON
“i merely burn” maybe don’t say that when the plague’s about, maggie
are you ‘avin me on, mate?? are you ‘avin a laff??
why do they not have midwives in this show, it’s so bizarre
oh bessie’s calling her “your highness” now too, love that
catherine of aragon performing a literal episiotomy is categorically the stupidest thing i have witnessed in any episode of television ever and that, folks, is why i have to keep watching this until the end
henry: “catherine, give me a son” / catherine: LOL OK
are they going to go full tobg and have catherine claim henry fitzroy as her ward and be like HE’S MY SON NOW BESSIE
what must it be like inside emma frost’s galaxy sized brain
#the spanish princess#no television series has or ever will be this dumb...my precious brain cells#tbd
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Cave Boys [Chapter One]
Edit: Please tell me if the ‘read more’ isn’t working because this is the third time I tried adding it in and on our blog, it shows, but when I see it on my dash it isn’t there. I’m really sorry if it’s still not working.
Synopsis: While exploring, Logan finds an unknown cave. He’s too curious for his own good and wanders inside, only to be kidnapped by monsters and taken to their civilization as a prize to be sold to the highest bidder.
Genre: Logan-centric whump with a happy ending for all, NSFW, romantic intrulogical, parental loceit, parental logicality, romantic moceit, background romantic prinxiety
Trigger warnings (for the entire fic): Angst and whump, blood, gore, kidnapping, monsters, human in a cage, human in a collar, human on a leash, I think maybe technically body horror?, implied unsympathetic Janus, implied unsympathetic Virgil (neither of them is unsympathetic they’re both just assholes lol), human slavery, human being treated as property, human up for sale, threats, eventual non-con, lots of bullying, poverty
Trigger warnings (for this chapter): Traps, ankle injuries, knives that go unused, suicidal speech, talk of a person ‘fading’ (very briefly and it doesn’t happen), arguing and insults, implied poverty
Word count: 6171
Written by: Claire and Virgil
Edited by: Virgil
A/N: Hi, I played Janus and if you ask me where his personality comes from, I have no answer ~Mod Virgil
When Logan was upset, he explored the forest by his house.
The woods spread over hundreds of miles. They were covered in towering pines, ground in thick moss and large boulders. There were plenty of places of interest marked out and documented— Hot springs, caves, clearings, ponds.
Logan had visited all of them.
It got to the point where he merely wandered, focusing on landmarks instead of the people who upset him, who had once again let him down. After all, he had to be able to find his way home. A few times he got lost in the forest for longer than desired.
He was several hours into his hike, in a direction he had never been before, when he came across an undocumented cave. He checked every centimetre of his map- The one he updated every night -but no one knew of its existence.
Humming, he flicked on his light, circling the area just in case, and making a note of the find in his journal before stepping in carefully, eyes wide with wonder. “Stupendous…."
The entrance of the cave was made of high ceilings and jagged walls covered in moss. The gurgling of running water from somewhere to his left echoed through the room, and straight across, through a narrow crack in the wall, was something… Glowing. Glittering, even, shining with purple, pink, yellow, and blue.
Gasping softly, he crept carefully towards the crack, a small shiver running down his spine. "Were I more superstitious, I would say this is a fairy ring or some nonsense… how does it shimmer like that though!” Reaching out, he slipped some gloves on to touch the nearest one, the darkest blue he’d ever seen.
It was… So warm. Warm and beautiful. What was this rock- No, crystal? If he got some of it back home, he could test it… He’d have to get through the crack to harvest some of it.
Leaning out a little further, he grunted. The moment he stumbled out of the crack, metal slid against metal, and as bars flipped upward to lock him in a claustrophobic cage, pain exploded in his ankle as something clamped around it. Cheers sounded nearby.
A terrified yelp spilled from his lips as he pushed and pulled at the metal. What’s going on?!
Thick, hairy hands curl around the bars of the cage, the metal screeching along the stone floor as Logan was hauled into the darkness.
“That’s four for me,” the voice closest to him grunts, “and none for you. Have you noticed that? I have.”
His hands flew to his ears. He quickly lost track of where he was, darkness and the long strides of whoever, or whatever, now had him, making it impossible. The screaming pain in his ankle had hardly subsided by the time the moving finally stopped. The only direction Logan was certain he went in was down. He started to realize why this place wasn’t marked on the map.
“Do him like the other humans, there should be an open spot close to the city,” the same voice ordered. “I’ll go update the books.”
His heart sunk. He flinched back as a long arm reached for him. The monster tugged at him even as he kicked with his unbound leg, fumbling in his pockets for his knife and swiping. “Get the hell away! Let me go!!”
The thing laughed gleefully as its slim form easily avoided his slashes. “You know,” it clamped down on Logan’s injured ankle, pain forming black spots in his vision, “those stupid crystal things were the best thing we’ve ever done for our jobs. Made things so much easier.”
Logan snarled, certain that if he could just get one hit in, it would be fine. Maybe he’d even wake up, bed sheets wrapped around his ankles instead of this millipede nightmare.
“If you don’t stop struggling,” it sang, “you’ll never be able to use that ankle again.” It squeezed tighter, digging the metal further into his flesh, Logan’s vision turning white.
He screamed and fell limp.
The thing dragged him forward by his ankle and slapped something against his neck. It crumpled and curled around like a collar, but the material was some type of metal Logan didn’t recognize. It almost… Harnessed heat. The longer it stuck to his skin, the more it burned, like holding your hand too close to fire without touching it.
It clipped a chain on the collar and dragged Logan across the dirt floor. Logan will never forget the things he saw as it led him further into the cave system.
It brought him down to an area with square holes cut in the walls, light seeping into the makeshift hallway. What could only be described as monsters peeked through the windows, watching Logan with expressions he couldn’t recognize. There was occasional hissing, chirping, incoherent English mumbling… But not a human in sight.
Slumped in the larger pen, he tried to put together what had happened for a long time after the creature left, he finally had looked down to see the bloody mess his ankle was, and the trap attached to it. It throbbed with his panicked heartbeat ever since he had given up getting it off.
“You’re such a bitch, you know that?”
An androgynous voice, sounding almost-human, echoed down the hall as two pairs of footsteps headed for his cage. Were they human? Were they going to save him?
Shifting to his feet, Logan carefully hopped back a little. A soft whine left his lips as he imagined the horror to come.
“What?! I’m a bitch?!” A louder tone answered, an almost trill to the end echoing off the cavern walls. “You!” The voice sputtered, as if trying and failing to defend itself. “You’re not even looking at me, fang boy!”
“I don’t have to look at you to know you’re a moron. You’ve tripped over more rocks than me, and I’m fucking blind.”
Two figures came into Logan’s vision. One of them was biped, and looked vaguely humanoid, but a long snout protruded from its face and in place of nails, long, black talons curled. They were sharp enough to slit Logan’s throat. The thing’s eyes, for what tiny slits they were, had no colour.
Gesturing with a broad swipe, the second figure proclaimed loudly, “So, I wanted to be fashionable and pretty for the new arrivals, Count Woe-laff! So sue me!"
“Count… Who?”
Logan gingerly hopped out of range of the claws and the cloak the louder one wore. It floated and fluttered, as if it sat on a tide. Eyes lifting to meet Logan’s, the loud one found a rock and went down hard. He squeezed out a pained breath.
The badger thing slapped a paw to its face, right above his snout. “God, you are such a moron.” It knelt down and wrapped a paw around the other’s wrist, and for a moment Logan thought those talons were going to draw blood, but the thing helped its counterpart up and patted its back roughly.
Huffing, it dusted off, just now noticing Logan. "So, I missed a safety measure or three. Did you see-? Oh! There’s a human!"
A deep rumble fell from the badger boy’s throat, presumably a laugh. “No, I don’t see. But do you know how I know anyway? Because I listen when we’re given orders.”
The two of them stopped in front of Logan’s cage. The badger held large, flat pieces of stone and ran a single talon along it. The nail wormed its way between all the grooves and indentations, face clenched in concentration.
“Logan?” It tried. “Did I say that right? You’re listed as male, is that correct?”
Mouth opening a few times, Logan managed after a few moments, "I… Yes? How do you know that?! I haven't… There weren’t any questions asked!”
“Everything I have here is first impressions, things our superiors could tell from sight. My name is Virgil, and the idiot back there is Roman. He uses he/him, I use they/them. What do you use?” They cocked their head towards Roman and mumbled, “Did I ask that correctly?”
Roman snorted softly. “I’m not an idiot, V!"
"Yes, a bit stiff and formal, but basically correct. I prefer he/him pronouns and my name is Logan. Why am I here? Can either of you get this device off of my leg?!” He balanced, using a part of the cage furthest from the two beings, uncertainty clouding his mind.
“You were unlucky,” Virgil answered, and then the rest of Logan’s words caught up with them. They snapped something in a language Logan didn’t understand, in the same implication of one spitting out a chain of curses, and asked, “Damnit, Roman, did they leave that fucking thing on again?”
“Looks like it. They pushed it in, too! Even when they struggle, that’s just mean!” Lilting sounds left his lips in much the same implied tone. “We have to get closer to get it off.”
“I’ll do it. Just make sure he doesn’t escape.” Virgil gave Roman the tablets and pulled a set of keys from one of their many pockets. They spoke as they unlocked the door. “Roman and I are assigned to guard you when you’re on good behaviour. If you act out too much, we can’t help, and you won’t like where you end up.” They knelt in front of Logan and pat the ground. “Put your ankle right here. You’re going to have to trust us, and accept the situation.”
Slowly pushing off the wall, Logan carefully slid to where Virgil indicated, voice soft and stubbornly resigned. “Do I have a choice? I don’t know where ‘here’ is or how to get home, even if I thought that I could walk or climb to get there.”
“You’re smarter than most humans they catch.” Virgil slipped a talon into a slot on the device, a thin tongue poking between their lips. They plunged the talon deeper, and the device popped off, ripping off some of Logan’s skin with it.
“FUCK! That hurts!” He groaned. He tugged his foot close and rocked, pressing at the bleeding parts of his foot. He glared. “What good does being smart do me? I’m still here.”
“I’m sorry.” They sounded genuine. “I didn’t want to warn you, it would have just freaked you out.” Virgil stood and left the cage, closing and locking the door behind them. They took the tablets back from Roman. “We don’t have a lot of human food. Do you have… Uh, fuck, what did that girl call it? Come on, Roman, speak up, you know way more about humans than I do.”
Roman jumped a little. “Which girl, the one that had those little bars in her bag or the one that said she couldn’t eat nuts?”
“The one who couldn’t eat nuts. She said it’d kill her. We weren’t aware humans weren’t able to eat all human foods. That’s so fucking weird… You guys are fucking weird, you know that?”
“Those are called allergies. Sensitivity in differing degrees to parts of our environment. I don’t have an allergy to anything. That I’ve encountered so far at least?”
A horrible grating sound sliced through the air as Virgil noted that down with their talon. “And how old are you? We’ve tried guessing age before but another thing humans are fucking weird with, you guys don’t look the same ever.”
Covering his ears, Logan gritted his teeth. “Twenty- I’m twenty years old.”
Virgil noted that down as well and, to Logan’s immense relief, pocketing the tablets. “Okay. So what’s gonna happen is I’m gonna grab you some food while Princey here watches you, then-”
“VIRGIL! ROMAN!” An impatient voice echoed through the corridor, rapidly coming closer. “I’M HERE TO MEET THE NEW HUMAN!”
“Get lost, Janus,” Virgil growled. “The human’s not open for meet and greets yet!”
Logan hissed softly, pushing back against the wall. No more new things…
At first glance, the rapidly approaching creature looked human. It almost startled hope in Logan, until it came into the light.
It was not human.
Its skin was ghostly pale in the spaces it wasn’t covered in shimmering green scales. Its eyes were slit like a snake’s, its fangs poking out between its lips. It had similar talons to Virgil’s, but a fraction of the length and looked almost manicured.
A dazzling grin slid across its face as its eyes landed on Logan. “Oh, hello darling.” It frowned, gaze dropping to his ankle. “Oh, dear, did these two do that to you?”
Virgil shoved the thing. “You can’t keep doing this every fucking time a human arrives. Just because you meet them first doesn’t mean anyone can guarantee you a lower price.”
“P-Price?!” Logan trembled. “You mean I’m to be sold… Like property?!” His vision swam. He curled up tight around his injured limb, rocking slowly as he panicked. “Maybe I should just fucking run… Hope I find a damn cliff or something’s claw…”
All three of them jumped in visible panic, jumping over each other to discourage him.
“-horrible, horrible idea-”
“-please, darling, you’ll only get hurt-”
“-you won’t make it far enough and the punishment will make you regret trying-”
The snake thing wrapped a hand around one of the bars. “I know it looks bleak now, but if you trust me, convince the others that I would be the best buyer… You’ll be happy they took you in the first place.”
Logan laughed with a snort. “Why the fuck would I want something like that?!”
“You’re going to confuse him,” Virgil growled. “Don’t make him think he has any say. Just go and wait for his display day, okay?”
“You’ll look fabulous! And certainly end up with a better owner than snake lips there!” Roman blocked the view with his body, winking.
“I can make you happy!” It insisted. “Please, don’t listen to them! My name is Janus. What’s yours? Let me get to know you, darling.”
“Happy?! Go suck an egg and choke.” Turning, Logan tugged at his ankle, turning to Virgil. “Is there any medical treatment? Water? Clean cloth?”
“Yes, I’ll bring you water with your dinner. Roman, did you-”
“Sorry to interrupt,” Janus did not seem sorry, “but I’m not familiar with that human expression? Was that- Was-”
“You were rejected,” Virgil said flatly. “When are you going to accept that no one wants you?”
“I don’t trust any of you and I don’t like this one bit,” Logan muttered softly.
Janus hesitated, then spun on his heels and left.
Virgil sighed. “Roman, did you remember the gauze?”
Producing a roll from a bag on his hip, Roman nodded. "Of course!”
Virgil took it and unlocked the cage again. “I’ll go grab your food after I get this wrapped up, okay? Did they hurt you anywhere else?” They sat and patted the same spot on the floor.
Slowly stretching out again, Logan thought. “The collar-thing felt like it was burning… But I don’t think so?” Looking at his hands, he hummed.
“Bruises on his hands at least,” Roman piped up, “probably all over from those damn cages.”
Virgil wrapped Logan’s ankle and held out their paws, palms up. “Give me your hands.”
Carefully, Logan held them out, palm down. “What is the purpose of taking humans? What use are we to you?”
“It’s different for each buyer.” Virgil’s dark skin was surprisingly soft as their fingers rubbed along Logan’s palms. “The simple answer is that there’s a huge market for it. There are rumours that people buy humans because they want to take out their anger at being locked down here while you all are free up there, but I think that’s bullshit. We could go up there if we wanted, we just don’t. I think the people who think that are cowards.”
Logan snorted. “Everything I’ve seen here is like a cross between a fantasy tale and a nightmare… Things most people don’t believe even exist! There’s no way there’s a lock or force keeping you here! That’s just not logical!"
“Exactly.” Virgil grinned, squeezing Logan’s hands. “You walked right in, didn’t you? What’s stopping the ones desiring to walk right out?”
"Well… I was exploring, curious. I rather fell in? It was a doorway, though!” He blushed, thinking back. “Seems it was a trap, though, from what they said.”
“Yeah,” Virgil mumbled as they rose to their feet. “It’s those crystals. Humans go crazy for them. The severity depends on the person, but it just makes you want to know… Everything about them. And you’ll put that priority over any others.” Virgil slipped out of the cage, then shut and locked the doors. “Humans are so stupid,” they sighed, and left to get Logan’s food.
Logan curled in on himself. Did I upset them? “Oh…"
Roman hummed softly and slipped into place at the door. "Should we get you more coverings? Are you too cold?"
Pausing, Logan shook his head. Virgil came back a while later with a tray of what looked close to oatmeal, and a few bottles of water. They slid it through a gap in the bars, towards the bottom.
“You should try to sleep after you eat.” They shoved a thick roll of cloth through as well. “Tomorrow’s going to be a big day. You’re going to meet one of our superiors, and she’ll be preparing you for your display day. Please, please obey us, and obey her. If you misbehave, Roman and I will not be able to help you.”
"I… Okay, I’ll do my best. Thank you for the advice. What- What exactly is a display day?"
“One of our superiors will take you to the city, along with some other humans, and, well, put you on display. People come by to meet you and look at you, and bids will start.”
"Oh… Has anyone ever… Gone home?”
Virgil hesitated, expression darkening. “You mean… Left the cave?”
“Yes. Is there a chance that I will ever see the surface again?” He raised his head to watch the expression of this strangely compassionate being. “Will I ever see my home again… Or am I here until I die?”
“Don’t ask questions like that,” Virgil hissed. “That’s exactly the kind of thing that will land you in a place you don’t want to be in. I’m sorry, I’m sure it must be hard to accept, but this is your best option now.”
“Oh…" His head dipped, resting on his knees. "That tells me what I need to know, I guess.”
“It’ll be okay,” Virgil promised. “If you’re smart, you can find yourself a good owner who’ll make you happy.” They looked over their shoulder. “Roman, will you set up our tent? I’m taking second watch tonight.”
Roman rolled his eyes. “Been setting it up as you two gossips talked, guess you really are blind, batboy!”
Virgil looked at them incredulously. “Do you think I’m exaggerating when I say I’m blind?”
Logan couldn’t help but laugh softly, a hand muffling the sound as Roman teased in that other language, causing Virgil to swipe at him.
Virgil finally just rolled their eyes. “Goodnight, Roman. Don’t be stupid, wake me up for my shift, okay?”
He huffed softly. “Fine… Sleep well, emo nightmare!”
“Goodnight, Logan. Let Roman know if you need something.” Virgil ducked into the tent and zipped it up behind them.
Logan spent most of the night struggling to sleep. The blanket Virgil gave him barely softened the hard stone floor, and every time he fell asleep for a few minutes, he jerked awake, body insisting he was in danger. Eventually, he settled for leaning against the back wall of the enclosure and mentally reciting the constellations to try and remain calm. At some point he must have passed out, because he jerked awake when the door opened, an unfamiliar voice speaking with the two guards from earlier.
“How has he been behaving?” The feminine voice asked.
“Perfectly,” Virgil said dryly. “Just went right to bed last night, didn’t even think about escaping.”
“Hmm. That’s perfect. Have you noticed anything strange about him, anything to take note of?”
Roman chuckled. “He seems quite intelligent, if a bit scared. The first crew beat him up a bit and I’m not sure if he’s having issues from that first handling?”
“Hmm,” she sounded indifferent, “I’ll check when we get him to the tailor. We’ll definitely have to market his intelligence, most humans are so dumb.”
Slowly pushing up, Logan hummed softly as dread crept into his stomach. Watching her body language for clues, he steeled himself for whatever she might do to ‘display’ him.
She talked with the two a little longer. She looked remarkably similar to Virgil.
She unlocked the cage door and beckoned Logan forward. “Are you awake? Come here, please.”
“I am.” Standing, he slowly approached, watching those long claws carefully. “Am I allowed to speak, ma'am?”
Her barely-there eyes widened a bit. “Wow, you guys weren’t kidding. He is smart. Yes, Logan, you can speak, but keep it to a minimum. I presume Virgil and Roman told you where you’ll go when you misbehave, and I feel it’s important to tell you that our rules and their rules will not be the same.”
“What are those rules, ma'am? I would prefer to avoid punishment if possible.” Gulping as she approached, he fought not to run.
She gracefully slid her talons under his collar and brought him closer, clipping on a chain. She gently tugged, like beckoning a dog, and stepped out of the cage.
“The obvious ones,” she told him as they walked through the dark corridors, Roman and Virgil flanking them, “like don’t try to escape, don’t be rude, don’t attack anyone. Any others, you have permission to break once, since you won’t know, then any time after that you’ll be assigned new guards.”
He nodded. If he were to break any rules, it would certainly be fighting back or being rude. “Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am.”
“You’re very welcome, Logan. You’re very polite.”
She took them down a route Logan didn’t recognize, and seemingly all at once, the cave walls turned into carved out homes, the narrow hall opened up into a huge cavern bustling with noise, and he was surrounded in life. It was a complete city, underground, and crawling with monsters. “Roman, please visit the office and update the books while Virgil and I bring him to the tailor.”
Smiling wide, Roman saluted. He took the tablets from Virgil before turning with a flourish. “Certainly! I’ll meet back up with you there!"
Virgil’s boss led him through the city. Despite her lack of vision, she never ran into anyone or anything. She brought them to a tiny little building made of jagged rock, some of the door crumbling as she pulled it open.
“Go in, now.”
Stumbling slightly, Logan ducked inside. His eyes slowly adjusted to the lowered light. He could barely make out a small shop with piles of fabrics, some chains and restraints on the walls. "H-Hello?"
Scratching sounded as a figure rounded the mounds, low syllabant voice purring as wings and claws came into view. "Greetings, human… Hand over the chain, Sylvia? I need to see all of him easily, you know!”
A griffin.
Sylvia chuckled and passed it over. “He’s very intelligent, so we’ll need an outfit to highlight that, Rose, make sure everyone who sees him knows.”
Rose’s paw looped the chain over a stand as she drew him in closer. “So I see… His eyes are watching everything. Maybe if we highlight them….” Grabbing some materials, she draped them to check the shade. She sketched concepts with soft mutters. “Scholar… Robes?”
Sylvia hummed appreciatively and found a seat. Virgil stood guard by the door. “Yes, I’m sure that’ll work,” Sylvia said.
“Of course, darling, I AM the best!” Moving Logan with firm but gentle paws, she measured and worked on creating a heavy-looking robe with colours that complimented his features. It made him look wise, and yet hampered movement so he wasn’t tempted to run. Showing him off when she finished, she motioned for Logan to turn. “I would add some makeup for those eyes if you really want him to sell at mark up, sweetie!”
“I’ll mention that to the stylist tomorrow. I trust you’ve done a wonderful job, if there’s anything the boss has to say I’ll bring him back before closing hours.”
She stood and pulled a few gems out of the bag at her hip. One of them was an amethyst, but Logan didn’t recognize the rest. She held them out in Rose’s general direction.
Taking the stones, Rose purred and traded them for Logan’s chain. “A pleasure as always!”
“Virgil, come take this.” She held out the chain, and Virgil felt around until they found her wrist, and felt their way to the end of the chain. “Wait outside for Roman, then get him back to his cage and make him something to eat. I’m going to make sure the work on his display cage is going smoothly.”
“Sure.” They gestured for Logan to follow, taking it on faith that Logan saw and tugging him out the door.
Logan stumbled as he adjusted to the change in leading style. “Virgil?”
Sylvia passed them outside and disappeared into the crowd of people. Virgil leaned against the wall of the tailor. “What’s up?”
“Just a question. Am I to wear this outfit only for presentation, or is this to be my new daily attire?” Logan touched the navy fabric, careful not to mess it up.
“We’re just fitting you for your display day. After we get the boss’ approval, you’ll change back into your original clothes and we’ll keep that safe until everything’s ready. Why?”
“Oh… They are much warmer than what I currently have. The space I was in, it’s colder than I’m used to?"
Virgil stepped forward and clumsily rubbed one of their paws over the side of Logan’s face. “Hm. You’re right, I don’t think humans’ skin is supposed to be this cold. I’ll grab you a hoodie when I get your breakfast. Jesus, do you see Princey anywhere? He’s so fucking distractable.”
Shivering, Logan leaned into the touch. "Mmm…"
Roman scoffed softly, coming up behind Virgil. "Petting him without me, V? You’re bonding nicely!”
They dropped their paw with a sigh. “He’s cold. You should carry him back. Body heat should be able to warm him up just as well as fabric.”
“Oh!” Stepping in, Roman scooped Logan up after a quick consideration on how to position him. “Okay! He’s so light… Are they supposed to be this small?”
Virgil shrugged as they made their way back. “I don’t know. Like I said, humans almost never look the same. Feel below his chest, can you feel his ribs through his skin?”
Logan squeaked as Roman poked at him. “I am not underweight!”
“Just let Roman check,” Virgil sighed. “We need to make sure we’re feeding you correctly.”
Blushing a bright red, Logan nodded and tried to relax.
Roman hummed softly. “Not easily… Skinny but like just not a lot of natural padding? He is super cold though… Shivering.”
“Yeah, like I said, you gotta warm him up. Use friction.”
Chuckling, Roman cuddled Logan close, hands sliding under his clothes to rub gently. “Got it, V!”
They brought him back to his holding cage, Virgil holding out his old clothes. “Go ahead and get changed, I need those.”
Turning for modesty even though he knew it was useless, Logan nodded. He held out the robes to Roman. “Here… Might I request something warm for food? It helps.”
“Of course. We have some soups that are safe for humans. I’ll be right back.”
Roman grinned and settled Logan in his lap, stroking gently. “Soooo… Do you want to talk while V’s doing the boring stuff?”
He blushed and cuddled into Roman’s chest. “Sure?”
“Awesome!” Petting Logan’s hair, he bounced a little. “So, what do you do for fun? Do you live alone? 20 is above the age of leaving your parent’s territory, right?”
“It varies from person to person. It’s not an abnormal time to be on your own.” He shrugged a little. Somehow, thinking of his old life seemed… Bleeker. “I read a lot. Um, I did a lot of exploring, obviously. I liked finding things I didn’t know about and taking it home to run some tests, see if there’s anything interesting. And, uh, yeah. I lived alone.”
“Oh! So humans’ life patterns vary? There’s no set time to leave your first home, find a mate?” Roman’s eyes were wide, fascinated.
Logan nodded slowly. “Yeah… I mean, you can do whatever you want, really. Do you… Have a ‘set time’ to find a mate?”
He blushed. “Kind of? My species has a limit on how long you have to search. We have a token that we’re to give to our mates after courtship… and if you don’t, we kind of… fade?"
Logan frowned deeply. “That’s horrible. What if you don’t want a partner?”
Roman’s head tipped in confusion. "Who wouldn’t want a life partner? The world is lonely sometimes!”
“Well, plenty of people upstairs.” Logan turned to face Roman, wrapping his legs around him. He was slowly warming up, but not quick enough for his liking. “I mean… Well, are we talking about ‘life partners’ or ‘mates?’”
“Oh! You separate the sexual pairs from the companionship ones?” Roman chuckled. “That makes more sense now!”
He nodded, hesitantly resting his head on Roman’s shoulder. “Yeah. Some people only want one or the other, or neither. I mean, most everyone wants someone to be with for their lives, but… More separated. It’s hard to explain. People can just do whatever they want with their own relationships.”
Roman hummed, sliding off his outer covering layer to hold Logan closer, fingers playing with his hair. “It’s complicated. We do have some help, though? Our tokens can act as a guide, giving a nudge if we’re blind to our feelings!"
“Hmm… That’s really-”
“VIRGIL? ROMAN? ARE YOU BACK YET?”
Wincing, Roman groaned and tucked Logan against him. "Son of a sea cow! GO AWAY!”
Janus appeared in the light, looking flustered. “Oh- Logan! You’re out of your cage!” He smiled shakily. “How did you sleep? Oh- Are you cold?” He started to shrug off his jacket.
Logan snickered softly. He patted Roman’s hair as he hissed at Janus and bared his fangs.
“I am,” Logan said, “I slept some… Roman is taking care of me, but, thank you?"
“Oh, I don’t mind!” Janus messily grabbed some gems out of one of the pockets and stuffed them in his pants’ pocket, then held out the jacket. The inside was covered in patches of various fabrics, some of those patches with patches of their own. “I was hoping you’d be more up to talk today? Are you busy?”
Deciding it to be rude to refuse the gift, Logan slid into the jacket carefully. It wasn’t very comfortable— Scratchy, the material stiff. "Well… Um, I don’t think I’m allowed to before presentation day? I don’t want trouble.”
“Janus.” An irritated voice echoed through the tunnel, and Virgil came into view. “Why are you back?”
“I’m trying to talk to Logan.” Frustration bit into his voice, Janus’ hands curling into fists. “Is that a problem?”
“Yes,” Virgil snapped. “He doesn’t want you. You can bid on him tomorrow like everyone else.”
“Thank you for your interest, Janus… But perhaps some other time?” Logan set his head on Roman’s shoulder, confused by the odd snake creature’s persistence.
One of Janus’ fangs poked into his lip. “Of course. I wouldn’t want to bother you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Virgil set the tray of food down and came over to Logan with a thick hoodie. They felt over Logan’s shoulders and frowned in confusion, then anger.
“Take that off,” they snapped.
Blushing, Logan quickly obeyed. “Sorry… It seemed rude to refuse?”
Virgil tossed the jacket on the floor, one of their talons catching and ripping another hole. “When Sylvia said you couldn’t be rude, that certainly does not apply to him. Don’t trust him. Don’t take anything he gives you.” Virgil wrapped the hoodie around Logan’s shoulders and patted him softly. “Let’s get back in your cage, okay?”
Janus picked up his jacket silently, and left.
“Oh… why?"
“He doesn’t deserve to be around humans. You don’t know how things work down here, so you wouldn’t understand, but trust us. He should not be around humans.” Virgil held out his food tray once Logan was in the cage.
Taking the tray, Logan leaned against the bars, wishing for Roman’s warmth again but sipping the soup happily. "Do you have any other advice?"
“You’ve been doing fine,” Virgil promised. “Just get some rest for your display day.”
"Are most humans bought after just one display day?” His forehead pinched at the thought of being uprooted again.
“No. There are usually four, and you’ll be waiting at least a month. How long exactly depends. Bids are open for at least a month, and depending on the popularity of the subject- You -the date might be extended to try and raise a higher price.”
“O-Oh… and I’ll be kept here, or a different place between displays?” I wish I had my notebooks, my things… I dropped all that outside the hole when I fell in.
“It depends on your behaviour. If you behave, you’ll be kept with us until you’re bought. If you break a rule, though, you’ll immediately be switched guards until you’re either bought or the superiors are convinced you won’t act out again.”
Shaking his head, Logan nibbled his bottom lip. “I meant is there a way to earn perhaps… Warmer space, things to distract myself with? I am used to activity, knowledge-seeking.”
Virgil frowned. “I’m sorry. No, that’ll have to wait. You can ask your owner when you’re bought.”
His shoulders slumped. “Oh… This will be a very long month then.” I’m to be bored and confused and scared, lovely.
Virgil headed back to Roman.
Blushing a little, Roman pulled out a small package and handed it to Virgil. “Oh, before I forget, I saw this new tea at the vendors! It’s supposed to be super calming and it smells really good!"
Virgil pressed the bag to their snout, sniffing it curiously. “Mm! Spicy! Thanks, Ro!” They jumped to their feet. “I’m gonna go make some, do you want any?”
Preening a little, Roman made a little chirp of happiness. "Sure!”
Logan arched an eyebrow. Is… Is Roman courting Virgil?!
Virgil squeezed his hand and rushed away. Logan arched an eyebrow. “So… You did say gifts were instrumental to the courtship process, did you not?”
Blushing bright red, Roman turned to Logan. “Yeah… Doesn’t have to be expensive, just thought out!”
Logan finished his soup and hugged his knees. “How many gifts have you given them? Do they understand what you’re doing?”
Roman hummed softly as he thought. “There was the material for a new hoodie, some repair on their clothes… The tea, a few meals. I don’t know if they do, but I hope so! They’re so sure that nobody would want them, silly Clawsian!"
“How long do you have until your, um, deadline?”
Looking down, Roman tugged at his cloak gently. "Six lunar cycles…"
Logan’s eyes blew wide. “What-? That’s- Tell them! You have to tell them!”
Roman blush deepened. "Well, I don’t want to make them become my mate out of a sense of duty, to somehow save me? They’re so honourable…. Kind.”
“That’s-”
“That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.”
Two mugs clanked against the stone and Virgil charged forward. They felt up Roman’s arms, his shoulders, neck, finally cupping his face, then tilted his head to kiss him hard.
Melting into the strong hands, Roman moaned, kissing back with equal passion as he revelled in the caring touches. “Virgil~”
Logan laughed. “I would agree… They seem quite amenable!”
Virgil slid their talons into Roman’s hair. After a moment or two, he pulled away, voice ragged. “If you ever put yourself in danger for me, ever again, I will break up with you so fucking fast, Princey-”
Face bright red, Roman nodded quickly and chased the touch. “O- Okay! I promise to tell you if I’m ever in danger again!"
Virgil poked his nose. “Good.”
They grabbed their mugs of tea and settled against Roman’s side. Virgil’s smelled approximately ten times spicier than Roman’s.
Nuzzling lightly, Roman smiled. "Does that mean we’re together then, you accept me as your mate?!”
“Depends on how good this tea is.” Virgil took in a long sip, eyes fluttering shut. “Yes, I accept.”
Laughing, Roman snuggled in and sipped his own. Virgil finished the mug and rested their head on Roman’s shoulder, falling asleep for a nap while Roman took watch.
The sub of this duo, Virgil, does commissions! Earn yourself 300 words for each coffee and the knowledge that you’re helping me pay the bills and start my own business
You can read my writing specifically here
#logan sanders#roman sanders#virgil sanders#janus sanders#prinxiety#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic janus#not safe for sanders#ds writes#cave boys#logan#virgil#roman#janus
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rewatching tgm for the umpteenth time: wifi's not working edition 1/?
ngl i've Never, In My LIFE, done any singing or acting outside of puppet shows when i was in like the 3rd grade but every time i watch TGM i'm more and more like "GOD i wanna be cast as Barkilphedro" and i don't even know why? like why would i want to be the greasy clown nasty? He has No Rights? I Don't Like Him Or Sympathize With Him At All? And Yet???? It must be a calling.
there's like. two barrels on the stage.
uggggggh i love Ensemble!Maskell and Ensemble!Obianyo they're both so pretty
FEEL SO LOW YOUR PULSE NEEDS CHECKING
ngl Barkilphedro has No Rights and he gets No Sympathy from me but i do feel sorry for him when he talks about his mother. also sucks for him that he wasted so much time hoping his loyalty to Clarence would pay off, only to get nothing but mockery in return. also also as 'comical' as the Erotic Breakfast Dance scene is played it's still...really gross and Not Okay. This dude's 100% culpable for his actions and he made his own choices and is absolutely slimy but it's like those bits in LotR when they talk about Bilbo pitying Gollum. idk i just kinda hate that ol' Barky let himself be twisted into such a wretched creature. He crossed the No Rights line the night he decided to carve up a kid's face tho and just kept right on going.
ensemble!maskell is so cute send help
it's the eye makeup and the lighting it's just. a really good look
ms. obianyo pls
just noticed Bark's little pose on "obsessed with the pursuit of beauty"
okay so i've seen some comments around about Clarence's "How do you keep your pecker up" remark and just thought i'd- dude's fingernails. wow they're so shiny. ahem -mention here that i've looked into this expression before and it's actually a term that i guess is mainly used in England or something and it's like nose = beak = 'pecker' as in birds which ‘peck’ things with their beaks. It's basically the same as "keep your chin up". Snufkin says it to Moomin. I mean with Clarence i wouldn't put it past him to mean it another way but also given where the show is set it makes sense he would use such a term.
ngl i want to Know about Angelica tho like. why is she Brutalized. why did Clarence send her awaey. i actually want to know about the whole family. I feel like it's a three separate moms situation but even if it's only two separate moms Where Are The Moms. did Clarence send Them awaey too? Did one or more of them Die? Were they Killed? oh god what if it's like in Light Princess and he actually Had (one of/)Them Executed. I think it's interesting that Clarence Lorded Dirry-Moir. we don't get to know about how he treated Josiana, but none of his kids even turn up to his funeral and the only one who talks about him at all only does so to denounce him.
also thinking about the differences yet similarities between the Green Box Family and the Royal Family but i can't articulate worth anything rn so i'll just *pins for later*
love Ensemble!Brisson
also ngl even if the whole Royal Introduction/Lords on Palace Hill bit isn't 100% literal it still paints a pretty clear picture of the kind of toxic and vapid society that's encouraged under Clarence's reign.
does 'bonnie prince' mean anything specific or
ugh i love Osric
wait i just noticed the stripies on dirry--moir's shirt. nice. i'd wear that.
not as much as i'd wear the heck out of Osric's coat though. actually his whole outfit. add Osric/Lord Trelaw to Roles I Wanna Be Cast For In The Timeline Where I Sing And Act
the face Dirry-Moir makes while Osric's getting started introducing the fair tho. he looks like a kid trying to fit in with a cool new friend group.
the way Mr Maskell sings "we have a huge collection of the crippled and the dabbed" tho it sounds like he's got a cold
i'm gonna need somebody to meet me irl just to do that lil dance that Dirry-Moir and Osric do after "If you've got the money/I've got the misery" it looks fun!
au where Mr. Maskell stays on stage through the end of Laughter is the Beast Medicine. i need to See him do the choreo for this part.
had a real cursed idea right here but no it's Too cursed
the look on Osric's face when Bark grabs his bad arm tho
this whole "imagine laughing without any cruelty at all" is such a weird bit tbh
have i already said that i love the whole look of the "the poor soul who stands before you" part like idk if it's the pose or what but Gwyn Looks Really Good In This Scene
okay but the way puppet!Gwyn holds out his hand toward his mom and then she goes to- hangon i can’t describe lemme see if separate post separate post
okay
ngl im real curious as to whether this bit on the pirate ship (idk why i’ve always defaulted to ‘pirates’ for these cats) actually happened or if Ursus fully made it up like we really Don’t get to Know how much of this has any basis in what really happened that night do we u-u
kay but the fact that Dea’s mom’s lying there with her eyes open and the way they emphasize her frozen-ness by having her arm stay up like. wow.
wait a minute is that Born Broken playing for lil baby Dea? i think it is.
yeah sing it hazlit
interesting how Ursus has little!Gwyn sing “they put blood in my nightmares” but also vow to find the man who cut him. which i mean singular ‘they’ is obviously a thing but as i doubt the intention was for Gwyn to have decided that whoever cut him must be a they/them man i just think it’s interesting that even the wording in the puppet show points to the fact that there was Someone Else There, even if it does then swerve back to a single perpetrator. But also it’s still accurate because while it was only one man who cut Gwyn’s face, it was both Barkilphedro and Ursus who contributed to putting blood in his nightmares.
honest question why is Mr. Maskell’s voice Like That like who gave him the right
love how puppet!Gwyn and puppeteer!Gwyn and later real!Gwyn all do that same little motion with their head on the word “disgrace”
OH HEY we’re at the part where Lon Don picks up NICE
add Mojo Puppeteer to my list of dream roles
wait ohmygod there’s this thing kind of hanging off the cart and i was squinting at it like “what is that” and then the cart turned around and i realize that’s the body that goes to the head-on-a-shelf ursus what the hell
wait so Dirry-Moir genuinely thinks Dea went blind from looking at Gwyn’s face but he also wants to see it? although granted Ursus said she went blind from “gazing too long” so maybe Dirry-Moir assumes he’ll be safe if it’s only a quick look. still. Concept: Post-Show Dirry-Moir having this tendency to Not Look At Gwyn very much until eventually either he explains why and somebody has to Tell Him, or maybe at some point he’s like “wait a minute. that was made up wasn’t it” and everyone has a bit of a laff
ngl i love the inside of the cart and how there’s like four, maybe five puppets, counting Beauty and Beast, and also some of the shadow puppets...all kinds of vials and bottles and what looks like painting supplies...what looks suspiciously like crimson lethe on the stove...looks like some cabinets and extra storage up very top. im curious about the layout since we only get to see one part of the cart at a time.
wait why’s the song called stars in the sky when does he say th- why isn’t it called “New World” or “dreams” or something why stars in the sky he doesn’t even say- does he say it in the reprise??? *skips ahead* NO?
does the Disney Chorus Say It??
THEY DON’T
WHY IS THE SONG CALLED STARS IN THE SKY? WHY HAVE I BEEN UNQUESTIONINGLY CALLING IT STARS IN THE- WHEN ARE STARS MENTIONED??
IS THE TITLE A REFERENCE TO THE FACT THAT URSUS IS ONE OF THE ONES WHO ASSISTED IN STRIPPING STARS FROM THE SKY? IDK BOSS IT FEELS KINDA WEAK TO ME
ugh i love ms obianyo
“to help them forget themselves” yeah that’s what you want him to do huh Ursus
“not now, Grinpayne”‘s a p curious line to include and only the fact that Gwyn’s still using his puppet!Gwyn voice while complaining is keeping me from being like “lol Gwyn’s lil rant was actually him breaking character and then Ursus just went with it like it was part of the show lol lol”
cutting here for length uwu Dea finishes the word ‘skies’ at exactly 30 minutes in which is nice bc i didn’t even have to interrupt her mid-word in order to pause for post-length.
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do overwatch for ask game now now now
❤ Favorite Male: help its McCree obviously... he's my biggest comfort character since the game came out and it didn't change even when my interest in ow faded. overwatch could drop dead today and he'd still live in my mind rent free like ok BAMF belt buckle. beside him it would be probably reaper or zen... my beloveds
❤ Favorite Female: aughhh its hard to pick but i think it would be Ana... she reminds me of my mom in a way and i remember years ago sitting outside with her and just infodumping about ow lore and she liked ana as well. i love how she's from the "original" trio and beside obviously being a mother to fareeha i love to think she was a mother figure to mccree as well. the way she's a scarred and hardened soldier who had to abound her family for their own good, or so she thought, who lived as a ghost, both more cursed than blessed by the glory days of ow LIKE HELP whenever i think about how she's a mother i just awooga. The way she wants to reconnect with her daughter but knows it might be long too late... The way fareeha never responded to ana's letter lol i camt blame her but... Pain. Gabe Jack and Ana's undoing always was the fact that even tho they weren't one to run, they all seemed to think that cutting off those u care about will be the good move haha. kms
❤ Favorite Pairing: 🤨 this is just giving people permission to make fun of me
❤ Least Favorite Character: ECHO please i can't stand her please please i hate her in game i hate her in lore i hate her design. I swear i tried to like her but i can't she's so ugly. how did they same-face a robot? why does she have an ass crack? and her lore is just literaly Torbjorn and Bastion copy pasted but more appealing this time cuz she's cute and omg look mccree is involved! like kms i swear to good she just murdered bastion and torb and like i cant do this. please get her away from me. Other than that I'd say Jack Morrison but not bc i dislike his character per se cuz i dont, (i mean i do but its like i like that hes so unlikable) but his character makes me want to attack him like just cloack him in his stupid face. also im ok with brig but i never seem to be able to make myself care abt her its like ok im not carrying abt u but good for u. or sorry that that happend. helppp
❤ who’s most like me: HELP um hanzo overwatch my bestie <3 which isn't obvious at first thru internet because we're all here to just have a #laff but whatever
❤ most attractive: :shy: Symmetra and Hanzo (hes so ugly but i have to mention him) beside that Reinhart. Reinhart please text me back
❤ three more characters that I like: AWOOGA im gonna say more than 3 but well Winston of course and I'm saying it unironically i just love him a lot his idealistic optimism his raw hope his bond with the old ow and determination to bring it back his selflessness the way he's so. Awkward like help i want to be his friend. then there's Reinhart and im obessed with his lion heart archetype and i love his booming voice and how huge he is. Zen and Reaper i mentioned already but Doomfist i care him so much you won't understand lawl. AND LUCIO but that's a given cmon. Junkers also produce serotonin it makes me think of niko too hehe
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INTRODUCING TIGS… @gallagherintro
⌠ CHAY SUEDE, 22, CISMALE, HE/HIS ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, THIAGO “TIGS” SOUSA! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in UNDECIDED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a shittier silver chain than connell’s, eDgY shirts with missing buttons, book rolled into back pocket, flipping everyone off, rolled cigarette tucked behind ear, bruised eyes or just bags?). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 20/01/1998, they always request their COCO POPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.
INSPO:
liam gallagher
BIO
grew up in a pretty rough and dangerous neighbourhood in dc, filled with Street Rats
parents: irresponsible, violent, addicts, basically only kept him for the benefits. home life was pretty miserable where he picked up most of his traits and habits.
but at one point it got so bad, his grandma reported them and took him in. they served some time in jail. he doesn’t know what they’re up to now, doesn’t care to find out either.
no one’s perfect -- his dad obvs gets it from somewhere -- but his grandma's love doesn’t make him cry.
but he was an ungrateful lil shit ! so after a big argument, he left her and ran away/taken to LANDAN with a gang of grifters he met on da streetz for some gigs and what he thought would be Big Money
street fights were a common occurrence re: snatch *mickey o’neil vc* i’ll fight ya for it … if dc is here he learned how to fight, london is where he learned to fight dirty
the gang began to pull cons on a Bigger Scale until they got caught ! he was a Big Coward and ran away … but was sent back to the u s of a with 0 money lol (was p traumatic actually! ppl got killed! it still haunts him!)
came back 2 grandma n said sry a bajillion times n they made up
gma works as a housekeeper for a big time politician fam in d.c. and would get a few smol jobs for him as a pool boy or whatever else rich ppl have
but then his gma got ill and they don’t have medical insurance or da money for treatment so he dropped outta school and continued 2 swindle, in d.c. or where the money was tbh
gd thing about d.c. is politicians and they have lots of money !!!
it felt weird to scam people by himself. he wasn’t used to working alone so he started off small: hung out in bars, targeted politicians. end up in a hotel - they paid for it. long story short he got enough ammo to blackmail them into giving him $$ or he’d sell photos/videos to journalists ... n we all know how homophobic politicians are :clown emoji:
newayz … one of the cons ended up being a trap (fffff). they knew about his lil tricks n wanted to use him so proposed a deal: they’d pay for his gma’s everything, put her in the best hosp, pay off debts, send him to a good school which would secure his future !! in return they wouldn’t hand him over 2 da popo, clear his record, but he’d work for them + blackmails their opponents to strong arm them into votes or w/e
obvs he said yes bc he luvs his gma ..
PERSONALITY
Edgy n Cockney
has a dog called amigo
eats cereal out of the box for breakfast lunch n dinna xx it’s vegan xx
talks rly slowly, super lazy, as if he’s high 25/8
had 2 grow up quick so he is Mature but wasn’t allowed/able to Process all of his Shit so acts out + has childish tendencies (shock!)
super selfish + looks out for himself First … soz it just how it be it’s nothing personal
prefers to ruin things on his own terms so he is unforch #TeamFuckThingsUp
likes breaking thangs, likes burning thangs, likes gettin into fites .. For Fun !
rly just does what he wants regardless of whether it hurts other ppl – doesn’t rly care abt right/wrong .. aloof/detached/boner 4 nihilism yada yada
maybe that’s due to him liking d.c. coke a lot … a coping mechanism<3 microdosing mostly<3
if u get over all of that lol then he has a Deep side n has a lot of thots (which will b hard for me but o well) can be caring etc.
anti govt, anti rich, fuck da system a la vincent cassel in la haine etc. etc.
surprisingly Smort, likes 2 read + retains info like a sponge, good at exams without rly trying, will happily take exams for $$
likes getting to know ppl tho not out of genuine interest but also won’t say shit about himself
everyone at gallagher is stupid smart n kinda show offy abt it … highkey grinds his gears because he rly hates rich ppl and the govt and will fight u on it
will rationalise himself being at gallagher by saying he’ll destroy the system from inside out !!! lol ye rite
prefers to sit at the back, blend into the background, do his own thing
never chases after anything so if he does be suss
big fan of documentaries - louis theroux daddy
CONNECTIONS
friends: prefers 2 b more lowkey, more of a small chill group of ~pals than big groups of dumbos re: bros chat.
ex-friends: gimme platonic heartbreak! he has a tendency 2 fucc things up on purpose and will not hesitate to burn bridges 2 hide in da smoke (deep)
flings: type to kick u out bc he sleeps better alone and won’t hit u up for at least a week … no hard feelings</3
ex-flings: no emosh capacity for a full on relationship but it could’ve ended for a lot of messy reasons !! makes me laff
exes? he doesn’t rly believe in monogamy i’m sry . probs would’ve messed ur chara around a bit :// or mb it could’ve been legit srs i o n o
fre/enemies: he just … has 0 loyalties tbh so
met ur match: someone who just runs circles around him + plays his game better than he does ! its Messy !
senator’s kids: ur chara’s parent the one who took tigs in! probs shud be a Baddie tho
i cleaned ur pool: mayhaps he was ur pool boy one (1) summer + stole some of ur shit, maybe they got along, maybe they hate each other
pot head gang: talking about conspiracy theories on da rooftop at 2am pls ty
anti-painkiller: someone who is feeling shitty so hits him up to feel even worse . this cud become soft tbh . extra Spice if she wants 2 keep it a secret
underlined the good bits: based on dis lil nugget but instead of saving mankind make it taking down the government lol or a lil discussion or legit anythinnnn :-) bonus points if they dk each other :-)
why didn’t u ask me to stick around?: *peyton sawyer vc* erry1 alwayz leaves … n so did he !
the worst best partner: they were forced 2 partner up together but they rly rile each other up but lowkey werk well together and got a smashing grade ! he doesn’t care abt grades so probs someone who is a Show Off so he gets Aggro
if any of these fit ur chara/u vibin wit em, holla + we can go from there: uno, two, three, three and a half, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten point five, and most importantly: ot3 !!!!! and another one
#gallagher:intro#joining the 'pretend he looks less angry in this gif' gang#benefit of letting this sit for months is comin up wit actual connections uwu#idk wat im doin
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watta day into night - so many moons - yes i know there is only 1 for earth - showing her personas and interactions - another adult in the room for a change - oh t ! look at the moon !! she can pass as fully functioning adult - vitas mom - has an amazing life and career - fully accepts without judgement her daughter and the people who love her and join a slightly bent reality - anybody - who loves t - after knowing fully his uh - foibles shall we sez - so theres vita - bf - t - sonya in a kava bar - t shoulder is kinda - uh - painfully fucked up - nbd - remember the road rash fall/ injury - 10 daze ago a lifetime - well cuz we hadda record and get thru - put all right arm pain inna box and buried it deep and stayed pretty baked to keep there - well - hadda check progress - reality - wound healing nice - little pain a little itch - the rest of my arm - fuck - its just a re injure of rotator cuff tear im sure - soft tissue so - a few years older aint helpin but i know the exercises - if i need a little extra phys therapy i will no question go this week - but anyway - so i didnt real eyes how bad until i moved wrong in kava bar in college town - the FUUUUUUUCK i exclaimed cuz - tired - just ate and forgot to fully medicate before or after - having so much fun i forget - or just dont realize im not high anymore - pierced the 2 story bar - concern then wtf we gonna do - we laff about it and the need for - “t do u think u should go outside and get baked ? “ sonya sweetly suggests - i told u she know me - 1st i do a simple exercise to relax shoulder a bit and then - i think vita started to mansplain something that had to do w scallops
so 24 later - oh t - look at the moon - it was a good weekend - this is that moon and soon come we leave - sending 2 and 3 way msgs of love - did i post the pic in kava bar ?
so in interim we played a gig - i wuz wrong - not paid - pass hat - reasonable amount of $ and that not even close to y we do it - lol - to not lose money on the weekend they have to pay us like a rawk star anyway - we wuz good - we wuz ok - we approach great a few and we magic weave and trance all weekend - no reservation - no problem we fit u inna table the bartender b ur server - so yah we music magic - vita pulls out things we havent played in so long and havent practiced - bold choice - it works cuz she a bad ass bitch and things she choose r very guitar centric - i just realize that now - we get a better sound than used to a bit of new equipment - we have fun - we connect back on the performance level in an instant - t flow in spurts and no awful notes or phrases and knowing some of the chords omg watta concept and everything sound like we play together always - almost casual - the owner seems to love us
home now - shoulder stiff af not the good kind - pain a bit - slept a lot more than in a long time - plan on doing fuck all - not even much tumblr
i ketchup later maybe w fries
love
always
omg there is a kitty - such a good one - she wuz so glad to see me and me her and we praise pet play feed and she sleep at my feet - i wuz only gone like 36 hours and the unpoet was w her
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Let's! Hear! That! Rant!
Okay let’s go.
So, latine characters mostly fall into gross lil categories such ass:
1. Sexy/flirtatious/exotique
2. Comic Relief/Border Joke/Haha! Accent!
3. Dumb
4. Bad News Violent
5. Drug Cartel/Criminal
Those are the ones I grew up seeing (which wasn’t v good for me as a latine person) and those are probably the ones everyone’s seen. I don’t mean to pick on childhood shows but… I’m gonna use some as examples.
Lance McClain falls into 3/5 of these which is absolutely disgusting, he’s literally 2 stereotypes away from being a Perfect Caricature and that’s… Ew AF. Let’s go to the 1st one. 1. Flirtatious/Feminine Sexy Boy: In the first or second season Lance flirts with an alien girl that steals his shit, he is shown to have jeopardized everything because of a pretty girl, in his first scene with Allura what he does after unfreezing some poor girl is flirting with her right off the bat in a fashion that allows her to show us she’s bad ass but also show’s “This Lance guy??? Thinks with his dick.” When he goes to the water planet? Flirt Flirt Flirt. Now, if they would have maybe shown this to be some kinda coping mechanism some kind of “I know flirting will keep people away and I’m insecure” then fine, it could have even been a form of trope subversion, but instead it stays as a stale “This Cuban boy flirts so much!! Haha!” Lance gets 0 development past his stereotype descriptors and sharp shootings. This reminds me a bit of that Danny Phantom character. She’s brown, she has an accent, and she’s a Sexy McHottie with the Jock BF. Though they aren’t very similar at first glance they both fall into the “Flirtatious Dumb Latine” stereotype pretty spot on. Now please think, why does this side character that was often the villain have the same depth as the hero and one of the mains from a supposedly more nuanced show? The most Lance gets is being in love with Allura. Wow! His face routine and femininity is also shows as something comical, instead of a “he’s feminine and its normal and even good for boys to be feminine!” it’s a joke. Lances flirtatiousness is shown to be funny and so is his femininity in a perfect case of a latino stereotype which takes me to
2. Comic relief: Now, there’s never a border joke, or an accent joke, but Lance is made fun of… a lot. In the opening scene of s6 lance is injured, hit, and this is seen as HILARIOUS, no one is concerned for Lance, no one gives a FUCK, it’s LOL and then move on. Lance is hurt throughout the series and the time he is given worry is in the beginning of the show, before he was confirmed Latinx (huh.) and after that him getting hurt is.. Eh not so big who cares? Lance is the laughing stock, he’s the jester, the funny one. And not in a “He makes good jokes way.” It’s at his expense. Now, the other cartoon latino that falls to this is Jimmy neutrons BFF who’s Latino, he’s Funny To Laugh At! Haha! The dif is pretty big though as Sheen gets more fucking development and from my memories isn’t as injured as much for the LOLS and imma use this as a bad way to go to
3. Stupit: Sheen is shown as not The Brightest, but he does make a few smart questions in the series, Lance doesn’t get this. Lance is coined in season 8 (by gifs I saw cause I’m not watching the shit show season 8 from Fucktron) as The Dumbest Paladin, fucking beautiful. He’s made fun of for his stupidity, throughout the show being made fun of for having dumb paranoia and just not having great ideas! His “smartest moments” are roasting Lotor, which is easy cause that boy is gross and reminds me of MCU Loki in avengers 2012 a bit, he’s constantly shown as Not The brightest. I mean… A whole alien game show with the paladins… And He’s The Stupid One. Now, stupid characters can exist but like.. Um… if he’s so dumb… Why the HELL did he have classes with the geniuses that are Hunk and Pidge. Why was he in the garrison if he’s so stupid??? For the Laff? I mean, it’s gross and disheartening. I’m not saying make him a genius, but maybe don’t make him so dumb.
On top of this… He’s made fun of for talking so much, falling into the comic relief thing but still. he show’s to be barely cared about, he’s just…The Sharpshooter it seems. The way he’s written is basic and lacking, it’s racist and gross. A lot of those stereotypes affect people. Literally if his family were drug-lords and he had an uncle in jail then he’d be The Stereotype. How gross is that? Lance McClain has the potential to be a great character, it’s there, but instead of developing it he’s 3 stereotypes and the ability to aim really well in a human form, and that’s disgusting.
Voltron writers are disgusting for what they did to Adam, but they’re also disgusting for what they did to Lance McClain, and I’m not gonna forget that ever as a latine.
(btw sorry if it’s not as neat as I think it is I’m kinda just Ramblin’)
(Non latine can reblog)
#latine#latinx#anti voltron#anti vld#lance mcclain#voltron#://#answered#rant#discourse //#i guess#anonymous
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