#lmk if you want more I guess
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Absolutely obsessed with your steddie dad’s verse!!! Everything about it is just so good, thanks for sharing!
I love Moe, Robbie and Hazel, and I can’t get this idea out of my head that probably doesn’t fit the vision of this verse at ALL but hear me out. What if one day all the upside down stuff became public knowledge? Somehow documents get leaked, someone talks, idk. And it’s suddenly all over the news. Would be so interesting to see how Steve and Eddie would react to this and how they’d talk to their kids (who just found out about their parents saving the world from the news) about it 👀
So here’s the thing:
Realistically, I don’t think the story would ever get fully leaked, for two reasons (probably more, actually, but two primary reasons).
It makes the U.S. government look terrible, and they do a good enough job of that publically to afford any more hits to their rep so they keep that shit on lock
Nobody would believe it. Maybe there are whispers about the truth of what happened to Hawkins, Indiana in the 80s, but the second the words “monsters” and “superpowers” get thrown in there, nobody buys it. That’s why the cover stories work.
What I absolutely think would happen is ✨conspiracy theories✨
Like, come 2014 there’s a rising interest in true crime and conspiracy theories and some enthusiasts stumble upon the story. A few devoted folks pull a Murray and start building a timeline and they quickly realize that there are some pretty serious holes in the narrative. It kind of takes off from there.
Robbie is Eddie’s daughter through and through, so she’s totally into that kind of stuff. Steve and Eddie have always been relatively upfront about what happened to them in Hawkins (relatively, in that they have the “here’s what you’ll find if you google your dads” conversation with an extensive Q+A, but to avoid dumping trauma on their kids they stay light on the details), so she’s more intrigued than surprised when not only is she suggested a YouTube video about her dads’ hometown, but the video also mentions both of them by name.
Here’s the problem – like most conspiracy theories, it's true that some pretty damning evidence has been uncovered that the government probably didn’t want circulating. However the story is still missing key details in a way that makes the resounding conclusion this close to the truth, but not quite there.
Hence, this conversation Robbie has with her dads after she watches the video:
“So is it true that Uncle Will was abducted by aliens?”
Steve’s eyebrows fly up.
“Are people saying it’s aliens? It wasn’t aliens.”
“Was he though?”
“Uh…kind of. I guess.”
“Is it true the government put a fake body in the lake and pretended it was him and then when Will came back they had to pretend it was another kid?”
“Yep.”
“That’s fucked up. Is it true that Russia used a mall in Hawkins to build a secret lab?” Robbie asks.
“Yes.”
“Is it true they were doing research on the aliens and then one of them escaped and that’s why the mall got destroyed.”
“Not even close.”
“How did the mall get destroyed then?”
“Bunch of people got possessed by a shadow monster and he made them eat chemicals until they exploded and reformed as this giant mass thing that cornered us in the mall. We attacked it with fireworks. I wasn’t there for most of that, though. Just the end.”
“Whatever,” Robbie rolls her eyes, fully convinced that her dad is bullshitting her, “Is it true the Hawkins earthquakes were actually the aliens invading.”
“No – yes…kind of? Not earthquakes. Not aliens.”
“I mean…technically they kind of were aliens ,” Eddie jumps in, “Technically anything from a land foreign to yours is an alien.”
“They weren’t aliens,” Steve insists, “They were monsters. They were big and gray and their faces opened up and they had all these rows of teeth like sharks.”
“Sounds like an alien to me,” Robbie replies.
“Monsters.”
“Is it true Dad was attacked by them and he almost died and you saved him, Pop?”
“Yes, indeed,” Eddie says proudly before Steve can respond, “He’s quite the hero, don’t you think?”
“In space?”
“Nope. In an evil alternate dimension, and he dragged me all the way out through the portal and everything.”
Robbie rolls her eyes again, “Nevermind, you guys are useless. You’d think you weren’t even there.”
Steve sighs, “God, I wish that were true.”
In terms of how Steve and Eddie respond to the story gaining some attention from the general public, they do family viewings of the conspiracy videos made about the situation and make fun of the incorrect narratives. Their daughters fully do not grasp that their dads are telling the truth because, again, the truth does not seem real.
#*john mulaney voice* eh none of us really know our fathers#i could say so much more about this but i didn’t want this post to get bogged down sooo#lmk if you want more I guess#fun fact: my *redacted relative* worked on the Isabella Stewart Gardener robbery case#which i didn’t know until i watched the buzzfeed unsolved video about it and saw a picture of them#so in other words…this could totally play out like this#steddie#liv’s steddie dads verse#steddie dads#steve harrington#eddie munson
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The role of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual in the characterisation, symbolism, and themes of Wolf 359
TL;DR: The DSSPPM is used as a tool to help establish and develop Minkowski and Eiffel as characters: Minkowski as a strict Commander who clings to the certainty provided by a rigid source of authority like the DSSPPM, and Eiffel as the anti-authority slacker who strongly objects to the idea that he ought to read the manual. The way their contrasting attitudes towards the DSSPPM manifest through the show reflect their character development and changing dynamic. The DSSPPM can be directly used against the protagonists by those with power over them, and the reveal of its authorship gives a particularly sinister edge to its regular presence in the show. But it can be also be repurposed and seen through an individual interpersonal lens.
Note: There’s plenty that you could say about the DSSPPM through the lens of what it says about Goddard Futuristics as an organisation, or about Pryce and Cutter as people. Or you could talk about Lambert quoting the DSSPPM an absurd number of times in Change of Mind, and Lovelace’s reactions to this. But in this essay, I’ll be analysing on mentions of the DSSPPM with a focus on Minkowski, Eiffel, and their dynamic.
“One of those mandatory mission training things”: the DSSPPM as a tool to establish characterisation
The first mention of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual (the DSSPPM) in Wolf 359 is also the very first interaction we hear Eiffel and Minkowski have. In fact, the first time we hear Minkowski's voice at all is her telling Eiffel off for not having read the manual:
[Ep1 Succulent Rat-Killing Tar]
MINKOWSKI Eiffel, did you read your copy of Pryce and Carter?
EIFFEL My copy of what?
MINKOWSKI Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual.
EIFFEL Was that one of those mandatory mission training things?
MINKOWSKI Yes.
EIFFEL In that case, yes, I definitely did.
MINKOWSKI Did you now? Because I happened to find your copy of the D.S.S.P.P.M. floating in the observation deck.
EIFFEL Oh?
MINKOWSKI Still in its plastic wrapping.
This is an effective way to establish their conflicting personalities right out of the gate. Minkowski's determination to "do things by the book - this book in fact" contrasts clearly with Eiffel's professed ignorance about and clear disregard for "this... Jimmy Carter thing”. Purely through their attitudes to this one book, they slot easily into clear archetypes which inevitably clash. Everything about Eiffel in that opening episode sets him up as a slacker who doesn't care about authority, but the image of his mandatory mission training manual floating in the observation deck "still in its plastic wrapping" provides a particularly striking illustration.
By contrast, we immediately encounter Minkowski as a strict leader who cares deeply about making sure everything is done according to protocol; the intense importance she places on the DSSPPM is one of the very first things we know about her. Her insistence on the importance of the survival manual might seem somewhat understandable at first, if perhaps unhelpfully aggressive, but it starts to feel less sensible as soon as we start to hear some of the tips from this manual:
Deep Space Survival Tip Number Five: Remain positive at all times. Maintain a cheerful attitude even in the face of adversity. Remember: when you are smiling the whole world smiles with you, but when you're crying you're in violation of fleet-wide morale codes and should report to your superior officer for disciplinary action.
The strange, controlling, vaguely sinister tone of some of the tips we hear in the first episode is largely played for laughs, emphasised by the exaggeratedly upbeat manner in which Hera reads them. But even these first few tips give us some initial suggestions that the powers behind this mission might not care all that much about the wellbeing of their crew members.
It says something about Minkowski that she places such faith and importance in a book which says things like "Failing to remain calm, could result in your grisly, gruesome death" and "when you're crying you're in violation of fleet-wide morale codes and should report to your superior officer for disciplinary action." (Foreshadowing the Hephaestus Station as the home of immense emotional repression and compartmentalising...) Having those kind of pressures and demands placed on her (and those around her) by people above her in the military hierarchy doesn’t unsettle Minkowski.
Eiffel groans and sighs as he listens to the tips, but Minkowski seems to see this manual as an essential source of wisdom. The main role the manual plays in this episode is to establish Minkowski and Eiffel as contrasting characters with very different approaches to authority and therefore a potential to clash.
When Minkowski demands that Eiffel reads the DSSPPM, he decides to get Hera to read it to him, asking her to keep this as “a 'just the two of us, totally secret, never tell Commander Minkowski' thing”. Eiffel seems convinced that Minkowski won't be happy with him listening to Hera read the DSSPPM rather than reading it himself. This suggests that (at least in Eiffel's interpretation) Minkowski’s orders are not just about her wanting him to know the contents of the manual, since this could theoretically be accomplished just as well by him listening to it. But she wants him to do things in what she’s deemed to be the correct way, to put in the right amount of effort, and not to take what she might see as a shortcut. It’s not just about the contents of the manual; it’s about the commitment to protocol that reading it represents.
“When in doubt: whip it out”: Hilbert’s use of the DSSPPM
In Season 1, the DSSPPM isn't purely associated with Minkowski. Hilbert actually quotes it more than she does in the first few episodes. In Ep2 Little Revolución, Hilbert's response to Eiffel's toothpaste protest is inspired by "Pryce and Carter six fourteen: “When in doubt, whip it out - ‘it’ being hydrochloric acid.”" This tip is absurd in a more direct obvious way than those we heard in Ep1. While this absurdity is partly for humour, it also casts further doubt on the usefulness of this supposedly authoritative survival manual, and therefore on the wisdom of trusting Command.
In Ep4 Cataracts and Hurricanoes, Hilbert starts to quote Tip #4 at Eiffel, who protests "I'm not gonna have one of the last things I hear be some crap from the survival manual". These moments again place Eiffel in clear opposition to the DSSPPM, but also suggest that Hilbert's attitude towards the DSSPPM - and therefore towards Command - is closer to Minkowski's than to Eiffel's.
When Hilbert turns on the Hephaestus crew in his Christmas mutiny, his allegiance to Command is revealed as dangerous. And here the DSSPPM comes up again. As Minkowski dissolves the door between her and Hilbert, she triumphantly echoes his own words back to him: "Pryce and Carter six fourteen: “When in doubt, whip it out - ‘it’ being hydrochloric acid.” Never. Fails." This provides a callback to a previous, more comedic conflict on the Hephaestus, and reminds the listener of a time when Minkowski and Hilbert were working together against Eiffel, in contrast to the current situation of Minkowski and Eiffel versus Hilbert. But it also shows that Minkowski, like Hilbert, is capable of using some of the more absurd DSSPPM tips to defeat an adversary. And it shows Minkowski leaning on those tips in a real moment of crisis.
Once Hilbert has betrayed the crew in order to follow orders from Command, we might look back on his quoting of the DSSPPM as casting the manual in a more sinister light, and again calling into question the wisdom of Minkowski placing such trust in it.
“It's not that I don't believe it, I'm just disgusted by it”: the DSSPPM as an indicator of a changing dynamic
The next mention of the DSSPPM is in Ep17 Bach to the Future:
MINKOWSKI Eiffel's been spot-testing me, Hera. He doesn't believe that I've memorized all of the survival tips in Pryce and Carter.
EIFFEL It's not that I don't believe it, I'm just disgusted by it. I keep hoping to discover it's not true.
MINKOWSKI Well, believe as little as you want, doesn't change the fact that I do know them. And so should you!
I think this provides an interesting illustration of the way in which Minkowski and Eiffel’s dynamic has developed since Ep1. They still have deeply contrasting attitudes to the DSSPPM, but this contrast is now a source of entertainment between them, rather than merely of conflict.
Given that Hera wasn’t aware of Eiffel testing Minkowski on the tips, we can guess that it’s a game they came up with while Hera was offline. In the midst of all the exhaustion and uncertainty and fear they were dealing with after Hilbert’s mutiny, this was a way they found to pass the time. It must have been Eiffel who suggested it; Minkowski cites his disbelief as the reason for the spot-testing. And yet she plays along, responding each time, even though this activity has no real productive value.
Minkowski is keen to demonstrate that she does know the tips and she emphasises that Eiffel ought to know them too, but their interactions about the DSSPPM in this episode have none of the genuine irritation and frustration that they displayed in Ep1. It feels almost playful and teasing. Eiffel still thinks Minkowski is "completely insane" for learning all the tips and is "disgusted" by her commitment to memorising them, but these comments feel much closer to joking about a friend's weird traits than to insulting a hated coworker's personality. It feels like something has shifted since Eiffel responded to Minkowski’s passion for the DSSPPM by saying “I'm so glad that your shrivelled husk of a dictator's heart is as warm as a decompression chamber”.
Another thing to note here is that Minkowski's respect for the DSSPPM has clearly survived Hilbert's Christmas mutiny and Minkowski's resulting distrust of Command. From Hilbert's behaviour at Christmas, it's clear that the crew's survival is not at the top of Command's priority list. But Minkowski still trusts the book that Command told her to read. She still thinks Eiffel should read it too. The main figures of authority above her are dangerous and untrustworthy, but she still clings to the source of guidance they provided her with.
It's also worth noting that Minkowski has not just learnt the advice in each of the 1001 tips, but she has memorised (nearly) all of them by number. If it was just about the information that the manual provides to inform responses to potentially life-or-death situations, then knowing the numbers wouldn't be necessary. Nor would it be particularly useful to know them all exactly word-for-word. Minkowski's reliance on the DSSPPM is again suggested to be about more than the potential practical use of its content. It's about showing that she is committed and disciplined and up to the task of leading. She does have some awareness of the strangeness of many of the tips, but this doesn't diminish the value of her adherence to the manual for her:
EIFFEL You're insane.
MINKOWSKI I'm disciplined. Although I will admit they do get more... esoteric as you go higher up the list.
There's only one tip Minkowski doesn't seem to remember, and that's revealing too:
EIFFEL 555?
Minkowski DRAWS BREATH - and STOPS SHORT. [...]
MINKOWSKI Hold on a second, I know this. (beat) Dammit.
EIFFEL Hey, look at that! Looks like there may be hope for you yet.
MINKOWSKI Quiet, Eiffel. Hera, what's D.S.S.P.P.M. 555?
HERA "Good communication habits are key to continued subsistence. Be in touch with other crew members about shipboard activities. Interfacing about possible problems or dangers is the best way to anticipate and prevent them."
This hangs in the air for a second. Then –
EIFFEL So you forget the one tip in the entire manual that's actually helpful?
MINKOWSKI Shut up.
Communication is a key theme of this show, so it’s interesting that this is the one tip Minkowski can’t remember, perhaps indicating an aspect of leadership and teamwork that she doesn’t always prioritise or find easy.
Eiffel saying “Looks like there may be hope for you yet” seems like just a throwaway teasing line, but it’s got a profound edge to it. A lot of Minkowski’s arc is about learning how to provide her own direction and support her crew outside of the systems of authority and hierarchy that she’s grown so attached to. So perhaps Eiffel is right to see a kind of hope in her failure to remember every single DSSPPM tip – she has the potential to break free of her reliance on external authority.
“Which one was 897, what was the exact phrasing of that Deep Space Survival Tip?”: the DSSPPM in interactions with Cutter
The Wolf 359 liveshow, Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol, is literally named after the manual. This suggests, before we’ve even heard/watched the episode, that the DSSPPM will be a key symbol here. Which is interesting because I'd say the liveshow has two main plot points: (a) Eiffel's failure to read the DSSPPM or follow orders in general, the resulting disruption to the mission, and his crewmates' frustration with this; and (b) the looming threat of Cutter, the necessity of keeping information from Command, and the risk of fatal mission termination.
Even without the knowledge that Cutter is one of the co-authors of the DSSPPM (which neither the Hephaestus crew nor a first-time listener knows at this point), there's a kind of irony in the contrast between these two plotlines. On the one hand, Minkowski repeatedly berates Eiffel for not having read Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual, which was made mandatory by Command. On the other hand, she is aware that Command in general - and Cutter specifically - represents the biggest threat to the safety and survival of her crew.
Cutter uses the DSSPPM against each of the Hephaestus crew in their one-on-one conversations with him. For Minkowski, he uses it as a way of emphasising the expectations and responsibility placed on her:
MINKOWSKI There are always gaps between expectation and reality, but--
CUTTER But it's our job as leaders to close that gap, isn't it? Pryce and Carter...?
MINKOWSKI 414, yes. Yes, sir, I know.
Cutter knows that Minkowski will know those tips and he knows abiding by them is important to her. She's quick to demonstrate her knowledge of the DSSPPM and agree with the tip. There's something deeply sinister to me about Cutter's use of the word 'our' here. His phrasing includes them both as leaders who should be ensuring that things are exactly as expected. It’s almost a kind of flattery at her authority, but it comes with impossibly high expectations. This way of emphasising the importance and responsibilities of her role as Commander is a targeted strategy by Cutter at manipulating Minkowski, designed to appeal to her values.
In Hera's one-on-one, Cutter uses a DSSPPM tip to interpret her behaviour and claim that he can read her motives:
CUTTER This thing you're doing. Asking questions while you get your bearings.
HERA Sir, I'm just curious about--
CUTTER Pryce and Carter 588: Shows of courtesy and polite queries are an efficient way to gain time necessary to strategize.
Unlike with Minkowski (or Eiffel), Cutter doesn't prompt Hera to demonstrate her knowledge of the manual. That wouldn't work as a power play against Hera, who would be able to recall the manual (or, rather, retrieve the file, however that distinction works within her memory) but who doesn't care about the DSSPPM like Minkowski does. Instead, Cutter implies that Hera’s behaviour can be predicted - or at the very least seen through - by the DSSPPM, which seems like a cruel attempt by Cutter at belittling her.
For Eiffel, Cutter uses the manual as a weapon in a different way again. He asks Eiffel, "which one was 897, what was the exact phrasing of that Deep Space Survival Tip?", something which Eiffel clearly doesn't know, but Cutter of course does. This puts Eiffel on the back foot, trying to defend and justify himself, allowing Cutter to emphasise his position of power yet again.
The DSSPPM plays a double role in the liveshow. On the one hand, as Minkowski reminds Eiffel, proper knowledge of the manual "would've saved [the crew] from these problems with the nav computer" – some of the tips can potentially save the crew a great deal of hassle, stress, and risk. On the other hand, the same manual is used by Cutter to manipulate, unsettle, and intimidate the crew. There are these two sides to the information given to the crew by Command - two sides to the manual which Minkowski still values.
In another duality for the DSSPM, the manual is sometimes used as a symbol of the relationship between the crew members and Command, and sometimes used to indicate the dynamics between the individual crew members, usually Minkowski and Eiffel. Before Cutter’s appearance in the liveshow, Minkowski and Eiffel’s discussions of the DSSPPM reflect interpersonal disagreements between two people with fundamentally different attitudes:
MINKOWSKI Oh come on, why do you think I keep trying to get you to go over these things? Do you think I enjoy going through them?
EIFFEL Yes.
MINKOWSKI Well, alright, I do. But this knowledge could save your life.
Minkowski enjoys rules, regulations, and certainty, for their own sake as much as for any practical usefulness. Eiffel very much does not. This is a simple clash of individuals, in which the link between the DSSPPM and Command is implicit. Minkowski doesn't seem to question the idea that the information in the DSSPPM is potentially life-saving, even though she knows Command don't care about their lives. But Cutter’s repeated references to the DSSPPM remind us who made that book a mandatory part of mission training – it certainly wasn’t Minkowski, even if she’s often the one attempting to enforce this rule.
At the end of the liveshow, in a desperate attempt to prevent mission termination, Eiffel promises Cutter that he will read the DSSPPM (the liveshow transcript notes that him saying this is "like pulling teeth"), an instance of the manual being used in negotiations between the Hephaestus crew and Command. All Minkowski’s orders weren’t enough to get Eiffel to read that book, but a genuine life-or-death threat might just about be enough. Perhaps it's ironic that Eiffel reads the survival manual out of a desire for survival, not because he thinks the contents of the book will help him survive, but because he’s grasping anything he can offer to buy the crew’s survival from those who created that same book.
In the final scene of the liveshow, Minkowski catches Eiffel reading the DSSPPM, and he fumbles to hide that he's been reading it, a humorous reversal of all the times that he's lied to her that he has read it. Perhaps admitting that he's reading it would be like letting Minkowski win. Minkowski seems to find both surprise and amusement in seeing Eiffel finally reading the manual, but she doesn't push him to admit it. There's some slightly smug but still friendly teasing in the way Minkowski says "were you now?" when Eiffel says that he was just reading something useful. In that final scene, the manual is viewed again through the lens of Minkowski and Eiffel’s dynamic – Command’s relation to the DSSPPM becomes secondary.
“The first thing I'd make damn sure was hard wired into anything that might end up in a situation like this one”: the DSSPPM as a tool of survival
In Ep30 Mayday, when Eiffel is stranded alone on Lovelace’s shuttle, he hallucinates Minkowski to bring him out of his helpless panic and force him into action. And this hallucination also brings with it one of Minkowski’s interests:
MINKOWSKI Eiffel... I worked on this shuttle. Reprogramming that console.
EIFFEL So? How does that help –
MINKOWSKI Think about it.
BEAT. And then he gets it.
EIFFEL Oh goddammit.
MINKOWSKI What's the first thing that I would do when programming a flight computer? The first thing I'd make damn sure was hard wired into anything that might end up in a situation like this one?
EIFFEL Pyrce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual.
Again, a conversation about the DSSPPM gives us an indication of the development of Minkowski and Eiffel’s relationship. Not only does Eiffel imagine Minkowski as a figure of (fairly aggressive) support when he’s stranded and alone, he thinks about what advice she’d give him and he follows it. Rather than dismissing the manual entirely, he looks for tips that are relevant to his situation. He’s not pleased about his hallucinated-Minkowski trying to get him to read the DSSPPM, but that was what his mind gave him in an almost hopeless situation. Some part of him now empathises with Minkowski’s priorities in a way that he definitely wasn’t doing in Ep1. He thinks that the DSSPPM might be on the shuttle because he knows the manual is important to Minkowski. It’s by imagining Minkowski that he gets himself to read the manual in order to see if it can help him survive – he certainly doesn’t think about what Cutter or anyone else from Command would tell him to do.
In the end, the tips Eiffel picks out aren’t all that helpful or informative: “Confront reality head-on”; “In an emergency, take stock of the tools at your disposal. Then take stock again. Restock. Repurpose. Reuse. Recycle."; and “"In times of trouble, an idle mind is your worst enemy”. But Eiffel does use these tips to structure his initial thinking about how to survive on Lovelace’s shuttle. In an almost entirely hopeless situation, Eiffel finds some value in the DSSPPM. But since the tips he picks out are mostly platitudes, the actual wisdom that allows him to survive all comes from his own mind; the tips, like his hallucinations, are just a tool he uses to externalise his process of figuring out what to do.
“Wasn't there something about this in the survival manual?”: Minkowski potentially moving away from the DSSPPM
Given the significance of the DSSPPM in Season 1 and 2 to Minkowski in particular, it feels notable when the manual isn’t referenced. Unless I've missed something (and please let me know if I have), Minkowski – the real one, not Eiffel’s hallucination - doesn't bring up the manual of her own accord at all in Seasons 3 or 4. This might make us wonder if she’s moved away from her trust in and reliance on that book provided by Command.
Perhaps the arrival of the SI-5, which highlights to Minkowski that the chain of command is not a good indicator of trustworthy authority, was the final straw. Or perhaps the apparent loss of Eiffel - and any subsequent questioning of her leadership approach, or realisations about the valuable perspective Eiffel provided - were what finally broke down her faith in that book.
Alternatively, perhaps Minkowski still trusts the DSSPPM as much as ever, but trying to get Eiffel or any of the other crew members to listen to it is a losing battle that she no longer sees as a priority. Either way, Minkowski’s apparent reluctance to bring up the DSSPPM feels like a shift in her approach.
The associations between Minkowski and the DSSPPM are still there in Season 3, but they are raised by other characters, not by Minkowski herself. The manual is used to emphasise Eiffel’s difficulties when he’s put in charge of trying to get Maxwell and Hera to fill out a survey in Ep32 Controlled Demolition. Trying to force other people to be productive pushes Eiffel into some very uncharacteristic behaviour:
EIFFEL Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? It's like you've never even read Pryce and Carter! Tip #490 very clearly states that –
He trails off. After a BEAT –
HERA Officer Eiffel?
MAXWELL You, uh, all right there?
EIFFEL (the horror) What have I become?
[...]
Eiffel, now wrapped up in a blanket, is next to Lovelace. He is still very clearly shaken.
EIFFEL ... and... it was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. I was slowly transforming into Commander Minkowski. [...] It was a nightmare! A terrifying, bureaucratic nightmare!
This is a funny role reversal, but it shows us the strength of Eiffel’s association between Minkowski and the DSSPPM, as well his extreme aversion to finding himself in a strict bureaucratic leadership position. It also suggests that becoming extremely frustrated when trying to get other people to do what you want might make anyone resort to relying on an external source of authority, such as the manual. I don’t know whether this experience helps Eiffel empathise with Minkowski, but perhaps it might give us some insight into how her need for authority and control in the leadership role she occupied might have reinforced her deference to the DSSPPM.
In Ep34, we get a suggestion of another character having a strong association between the DSSPPM and Minkowski. After the discovery of Funzo, Hera asks Minkowski what the manual says about it:
HERA Umm... I don't know if this is a good idea. Lieutenant, wasn't there something about this in the survival manual?
MINKOWSKI Pryce and Carter 792: Of all the dangers that you will face in the void of space, nothing compares to the existential terror that is Funzo.
It’s interesting to me that Hera asks Minkowski here. We know from Ep1 that “Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual is among the files [Hera has] access to”. Two possible reasons occur to me for why Hera might ask Minkowski about the DSSPPM tip here. One possibility is that Hera thinks that retrieving the manual from her databanks and finding the correct tip would take her more time than it would take for Minkowski to just remember the tip. Which suggests interesting things about the nature of Hera’s memory, but also implies that - at least in Hera's view -Minkowski’s knowledge of the DSSPPM is more reliable than that of a supercomputer.
The other possibility is that Hera could have recalled the relevant DSSPPM tip incredibly quickly but she doesn’t want to, maybe because she resents having that manual in her head in the first place, or maybe because she wants to show respect for Minkowski’s knowledge as a Commander. Either way, we can see that Hera – like Eiffel – strongly associates Minkowski with the DSSPPM.
And Minkowski, even if she wasn’t the one to bring up the manual here, recalls the relevant tip immediately. Perhaps she is moving away from her trust in that manual, but everything that she learned as part of her old deference to the authority of Command is still there in her head. She might want to forget it by the end of the mission, but that’s not easily achieved. The way Minkowski’s friends/crewmates associate the manual with her emphasises the difficulty she’ll face if she tries to move away from it.
“One thousand and one pains in my ass”: The authorship of the DSSPPM
In Ep55 A Place for Everything, Eiffel effectively expresses his long-held dislike of the DSSPPM when he comes face-to-face with both of its authors:
EIFFEL What? What the hell are - wait a minute - Pryce? As in one thousand and one pains in my ass, Pryce? (sudden realization) Which... makes you...?
MR. CUTTER (holding out his hand) W.S. Carter, pleased to meet you.
It’s significant that the two ‘big bads’ of the whole series are the authors of the manual which Minkowski and Eiffel were bickering about all the way back in Ep1. It’s not the only way in which the message of this show positions itself firmly against just accepting externally imposed authority and hierarchy without question or evidence, but it does reinforce this ethos.
By being the authors of the manual, Cutter and Pryce have had a sinister hidden presence throughout the show. Long before we know who Pryce is and even before we hear Cutter’s name, their manual is there, occupying a prominent place in Minkowski’s motivations and priorities, and in her arguments with Eiffel. It’s not at all comparable to what Pryce put in Hera’s mind, but it is another way in which these antagonists have wormed their way into the heads of our protagonists.
Minkowski will have to come to terms with the fact that the 1001 tips she spent hours memorising and reciting were written by two people who would have killed her, her crew, and even the whole human race without hesitation if it served their purposes. We never get to hear Minkowski’s reaction to learning the identities of Pryce and Carter, but I think processing the role of their manual in her life will be a long and difficult road that’ll tie into a lot of other emotional processing she needs to do. Her assertion to Cutter that, without him, she is “Renée Minkowski... and that is more than enough to kick your ass!” feels like part of that journey. She doesn’t mention the DSSPPM at all in Season 4. She’s growing beyond it.
"Doug Eiffel's Deep Space Survival Guide": The DSSPPM as a weapon against those who wrote it
Last but not least, I couldn’t write about Eiffel and the DSSPPM without mentioning this scene from Ep58 Quiet, Please:
EIFFEL As someone once told me: "Pryce and Carter 754: In an emergency, take stock of the tools at your disposal, then take stock again. Repurpose, reuse, recycle." And right now? You know what I got? I got this lighter from when Cutter was using me as his personal cabana boy. [...] and I've got myself this big, fat copy of the Deep Space Survival Manual, and you know what I'm gonna do with it? [...]
Eiffel STRIKES THE LIGHTER. And LIGHTS THE BOOK ON FIRE, revealing Pryce just a few feet away from him!
EIFFEL I am going to repurpose it... and reuse it... and recycle it into a GIANT FIREBALL OF DEATH!
And he swings the flaming book forward, HITTING PRYCE ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. [...]
EIFFEL That's right! Doug Eiffel's Deep Space Survival Guide, B-
No one other than Doug Eiffel could pull off the chaotic energy of this moment. It doesn’t get much more anti-authority than lighting the mandatory mission manual on fire and using it as a weapon against one of its malevolent authors. It might not be the wisest move safety-wise, and it certainly doesn’t improve the situation when the node gets jettisoned into space. But there is still a powerful symbolism in taking a symbol of the hierarchical forces that have tried to constrain you for years and setting it alight to fight back against those forces. Eiffel takes his own approach to survival and puts his own name into the title, an assertion of his agency and rejection of Command's authority.
The DSSPPM tip that he uses here is one of those he considers when stranded on Lovelace’s shuttle. It’s understandable that after that experience it might have stuck in his memory.
I can’t help feeling that the line “as someone once told me” has a double meaning here. The immediate implication is to interpret “someone” as being Pryce and Cutter – it’s their manual after all – which makes this line a fairly effective ‘fuck you’ gesture, emphasising how Eiffel is using Pryce’s manual against her in both an abstract and a physical sense.
But I think “someone” could also mean Minkowski. Eiffel uses a singular rather than plural term, there’s already an association established between Minkowski and the DSSPPM, and, in Mayday, it’s his hallucination of Minkowski that gets him to read this tip. She's probably also recited this tip to him at other points as well. Under this interpretation, this line is as much a gesture of solidarity with Minkowski as it is a taunt to Pryce. I like the idea that these two interpretations can run alongside each other, reflecting the duality of the use of the DSSPPM that I talked about in relation to the liveshow.
Conclusion
The DSSPPM is a symbol of external rules imposed on people by those with power over them. These rules can be strange, arbitrary, and even sinister, but for those with a desire for certainty and control, like Minkowski, they can be tempting. And they can have their uses, as well as the potential to be repurposed. Attitudes towards these rules provide an effective shorthand as part of Minkowski and Eiffel’s characterisation. And the clash between these attitudes, and how that clash manifests, can tell us something about how the dynamic between those characters develops and changes.
#Wolf 359#w359#Renee Minkowski#Doug Eiffel#Renée Minkowski#I guess I lied when I said I was halfway through at 1000 words#I hope that those who liked my preview post were up for a long read#This is over 5000 words and I still haven't said everything!#You could write a PhD thesis on this#Honestly I feel like this is full of typos and mistakes cos I was kinda tired as I proofread it but I just want to get it posted today#Otherwise I could spend even more time on it and make it even longer... (and also I want it to be out in the world)#But please do lmk if you spot a typo/mistake. I won't be offended#I'd also be interested to hear people's thoughts on any of this#Unimportant point but I'm shaking my head at Minkowski if she wouldn't let Eiffel listen to the DSSPPM instead of reading it#Audiobooks are a valid method of reading. Don't deny a man with ADHD his own approach to absorbing info!#Then again. it might have been an unfounded assumption of Eiffel's that Minkowski wouldn't have accepted him listening to it#I think in school he definitely got in trouble for boasting that he's actually read the book this time when he just watched the film#the empty man posteth
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Peach do you have blue or green banners? Thank you mother!
My favorite spectrum of color is the Teal range so I have a lot of those ✨ Please feel free to use. These are 7500 x 80
#peaches asks#peach makes dividers#fic dividers#post dividers#dividers#Tumblr only let me put ten in here but lmk if you want more I guess?
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CURATION OF SOME OF MY INCREDIBLY NORMAL ARJUNA ICONS // Baseball Icons
#fgo#fate#fate grand order#arjuna#icons#quick faq: arjuna is holding milk and pepsi because pilk.#the txt on the bi flag is stuff like 'killing and shredding' bc its the violent bisexual pride flag. if anyone just wants the flag lmk#i have more flag variants for most of these if you want something i can edit it in like. 2 seconds. if i dont already have it. just lmk#the highly saturated/desaturated bi and trans flags were colorpicked from my favorite cure albums so thats why they look like that.#this was actually supposed to be bigger but. a huge chunk of them are actually set up to take advantage of twitter autocrop.#so they look ugly on other websites. orz#thats what i get for migrating to twitter for so long I Guess#also my arjuna icons are so. normal compared to my izou ones lmao#thanks enjoy
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walk with me here you guys ahem,
Keith and Lance finally have The TalkTM on a day like most others. The paladins go about their business on the castleship, Keith and Lance mostly doing their activities together as has become, without their really noticing, habit. Keith flips through the pages of one of Allura's Altean romance novels on one end of the couch, Lance plays a video game on the handheld console he and Pidge found at a thrift store the last time they'd stopped off at a space mall from the other end. At some point they wander to the kitchen and make Hunk's latest attempt at space popcorn. They throw the pieces at each other, trying to break their previous streak record of 106 popcorn-mouth-catches. When they run out, they pelt each other with kernels until they collapse on the kitchen floor, out of breath and laughing. They clean up their mess together. They train, talk team strategy, help Coran out with some cleaning. They visit Hunk and Pidge in the lion bay and are promptly kicked out for causing trouble (neither of them can seem to keep their hands to themselves, always touching pieces and parts and projects, and inevitably something falls over and Pidge is yelling and they're scrambling away, giggling as they run down the hall). The paladins eat dinner, everyone hangs out together for a while, and life in space is pretty good.
Lance and Keith are often the last two left in the lounge as people split off--either to go to bed or to work on something independently until the wee hours (Pidge). They're chatting, swapping stories, arguing about silly hypotheticals, until Lance yawns mid-sentence and Keith knows it's time for bed. They stand together and walk to their rooms in warm silence, close enough to brush shoulders, neither changing trajectory to avoid the contact. They stop in the space between their doors to say goodnight; this, too, is normal. They smile small smiles at each other and linger, time stretchy in the way it is at nighttime.
And then something new happens.
"Keith," Lance says slowly, like he's turning the word over in his mouth for the first time. "Would you ever want--"
Keith's heart stutters in his chest and the silence of the empty hallway is suddenly deafening. Lance only hesitates for a beat but it stretches.
"--to go on a space date," Lance finishes, brows unknitting as he seems to consider what just came out of his mouth. Finding it acceptable, he nods, then lifts his gaze from the floor to meet Keith's wide-eyed gaze. "With me," Lance adds, an afterthought but an important clarification nonetheless, quirking an eyebrow.
Keith purses his lips for a moment that pulls like taffy into an eternity and it's Lance's turn to hear the ocean roaring in his ears as he waits. "Would that make us--"
Lance can't breathe.
"--space boyfriends?" Keith finishes and the air rushes from Lance's lungs, something like relief. Keith is smiling his mischievous smile, the crooked one that puts a spark in his eyes. It is among Lance's favorite Keith expressions (there are many).
"Yeah, I guess we'd be space boyfriends," Lance concedes, biting down on his lower lip to keep his grin from spreading too far. He's not doing a very good job.
"Hm." Keith nods solemnly. "Space boyfriends it is, then."
"Cool," Lance concludes eloquently.
"Cool," Keith echoes, and then they're standing in ooey gooey marshmallow silence, grinning softly at each other for a long time or maybe no time at all. Keith feels very warm and melty on the inside. Lance thinks he could run a marathon and not break a sweat.
"Alrighty then, g'night Space Boyfriend," Lance breaks the silence with a two-fingered salute and shuffles backwards towards his door.
Keith rolls his eyes without meaning to, affection heating his face despite himself. "Goodnight, Lance." He turns towards his door, grinning to himself as Lance snorts. Their doors slide open, their doors slide shut.
***
Hours later, Lance slips out of bed, buzzing with the news, and appears, bouncing uncontrollably on his toes and biting on the biggest grin, at Hunk's door. Hunk is rubbing blearily at his half-lidded eyes when he door slides open and he takes in the sight of Lance, practically glowing. Hunk blinks once. Twice. Does a little mental math. And it hits him. His eyes go wide and his mouth makes a little o, eyebrows leaping up his forehead.
"No... No." And Lance is nodding vigorously, eyes shining with unshed happiness, and that bit lip is barely withholding the giggle that threatens to erupt from the vibrating blue paladin. Hunk scoops him into the biggest bear hug, shouting "TELL ME EVERYTHING RIGHT NO-" and the door slides shut behind them, Lance's peals of laughter ricocheting down the halls.
Keith is awake in his room, sitting on the floor with his back up against the door, pressing a grin so wide it hurts into his knees. He rolls his eyes affectionately when he hears Hunk's muffled delight and finally stands up to go to bed.
#this really got away from me hm but here we are#ok normally i have like performance anxiety about posting my writing anywhere but here goes i guess#a little stream of consciousness klance for the soul#klance#klance ficlet#my writing#idk what to label this as i never post anything serious but this got sort of serious#lmk what you think if you want i hope it is satisfying#it's like weirdly serious for them but idk I felt soft#vld#space gays#gays in space#lance mcclain#keith kogane#hunk garrett#vld fic#i would like to write and post it more#i would also like to edit lol but that was not the vibe this evening#please enjoy this offering
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guys this is going to sound really heavy? insane? but. first of all going on a hiatus. i’ll put the rest in the tags because idk. it feels really weird doing this but also unfortunately it is very very necessary at this point.
#nini’s nonsense#so i don’t really want to disappear on anyone and just to be clear. i am fine there’s nothing wrong with me personally but. life got fucked#real real fast and that’s why i’m leaving but. i’m doing a bi-weekly check in because the thing is. the moment those stop. you can all#unfortunately assume i’m not on this earth anymore#HA i feel insane typing that out but it is the truth of life atm so yeah uhm#this sounds so heavy and i mean. i guess it is. but yeah i also don’t want to just randomly disappear forever so this seems like the best#thing to do? sorry idrk how to deal with this yet so yeah.#maybe if everything turns to normal once more i’ll come back but i don’t see that happening anytime soon.#but yeah maybe. for now. i love you all dearly forever and always <3#does this need a trigger warning? idk lmk#anyways let me pin this.#also pls don’t worry too much! my life is just being. well my life i guess this had to happen at some point.#also see you sept 1st!! hopefully!!
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For art purposes: Do you have any preferences for how your Minecraft skin is interpreted? things like height, body shape, and facial features
I mean not particularly? Ig just use these photos as a reference :D
^^
Also if you ever get lazy with it just draw my pfp :D
I put colour picking from some photos in as reference for my skin tone because the photos are dark ^^
Now I need to give you guys that mcyt treatment as well >:D
#OH and it's not really clear but the shoes have a bunch of embroidery just lmk if you want clearer photos of that ^^#rhyming time with rhyme#<- is that an ok tag for you? i give all my moots tags :D#cawcaw motherfucker#asks#art#references#<- i guess :)#OH i get acne so don't ever be afraid to make my skin look silly lol#sorry if this is kinda weird lol i remembered more as i went
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Yeah sure I'll jump on the bandwagon why not (started by @dieselpvnk i think, i feel the need to credit them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
You can't see it because it's on the bottom layer (whoops) but the lighter pink is 50% opacity for less intense feelings
Individual colors under the cut because this dazes even me and I'm the one who made it:
#also i was listening to baba is you music the whole time i made this btw#rain world#i don't want to tag all the characters#art#i guess why not#firealpaca#i left out the iterators because i didn't want to draw EVEN MORE portraits on this tiny canvas#(it's not tiny i just ran out of room it's 1500x1500 pixels)#oh i also decided floppy eared nightcat is adorable and jumped on that bandwagon too#i'll probably do this with my ocs soon but not right now#wait should i tag the ships#lmk if i should
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I want a girlfriend but I'm an ugly lesbian :(
Hey, Anon! Well, first off, I doubt you're as unattractive as you think. We're usually our own worst critics (I can attest to that).
But even if you aren't physically attractive by conventional standards, so what? I see people walking around and online all the time who I wouldn't consider conventionally attractive yet are in relationships. And they look happy!
It's true that as a lesbian, your dating pool is smaller than if you were straight, but the sapphics are out there!!
Some people have success finding dates on apps, but if you're comfortable going out, I'd recommend joining some groups/clubs/doing social activities you're interested in, since getting to know like-minded women in person is a great way to show off who you are. Your interests, your skills, your quirks that someone will fall in love with. And who knows? You may meet new friends or pick up a new hobby in the meantime!
Final thoughts: you are enough. And as my grizzled and surly old coworker used to say, "There's a lid for every pot!"
I try to remember that for myself.
#i'm mostly ok with my looks atp#there are plenty of heavy or plain ppl that are happily married or dating#i can get dates if i wanted to#it's my brain that i fear that makes me unlovable#that's going to take a lot of therapy to work through but i'm trying#also maybe therapy could help you deal with neg self-talk too anon?#there are queer-friendly therapists out there#but anyway i wish you luck in your search!!#lmk if you decide to join any groups or take a class to meet ppl!#some ppl find each other via discord etc but i'm old fashioned i guess 💗#thank you for the ask!#lovely anon#asks#sapphic dating#lesbians#i've been voluntarily a hermit and celibate for some time now bc of reasons#but who knows maybe i'll follow my own advice and try to be more social this year
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Literal roleswap AU for the foretellers:
Gula-> Luxu
Luxu -> Ava
Ava -> Invi
Invi -> Aced
Aced and Ira -> Joint leaders
#moon speaks#Foretellers#Back Cover#Ira#Aced#Ava#Gula#Invi#Luxu#Lmk if you want my reasoning bc I just had to get this down#Proper Roles!AU#Aka “MoM actually wanted them in the roles best suited to them”#Gula would still body hop btw#I guess it’s more a role rearrangement than a swap#Kingdom Hearts
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hm. i've been quiet abt it bc i don't really like being negative on here but honestly the new furby design is. disappointing idk. absolutely nothing against people who like it ofc, and there are def some cute aspects. but it sucks to see that the design is so far removed from original furbies and just doesn't have the same charm idk. the connect was already straying pretty far but honestly i kinda like connects bc the shapes are cute but. idk the 2023 furbs just seem like they're trying to hard to be cutesy and it just feels sort of forced?? if it appeals to kids and young people get to enjoy it that's awesome and honestly that's kind of the point. but i do get why people are unhappy with it. like in regards certain aspects like the eyes the fixed beak & the way it's like. super difficult to take apart bc of the clips and stuff. i can totally see why a lot of customizers especially aren't happy with it. i'm sure lots of people have said the exact same stuff but yeah overall i feel like. relatively neutral to the whole thing idk it's nice to see furbies being produced and sold again and yeah it is cute but i get why people aren't loving it. that said ofc there are people who do love it and that's totally okay. regardless if you love it or hate it what's not okay is people within the community being rude to each other based on whether they like it or not cmon. it's not for everyone but if people do like it that's their business and there's no need to be rude!!! but on the other hand if people have complaints about it they should be allowed to voice that as long as they're not being mean yknow. letting it cause a rift in the community is silly. but anyways
#sorry for the super long post#but yeah these are just some thoughts abt it. idk personally i don't love it it's not for me#but i can acknowledge that other people and kids especially are enjoying it and that's good!!!#i hate being negative on here so i wasn't even gonna voice my opinion on it. but like#i personally do not really like booms n 2012s to be honest. the like digital eye thing and everything idk it's not for me#connects too they're just. not my fave. but honestly they're aesthetically very nice i think?? just not the bluetooth aspect and fart jokes#but idk it does feel like with each new model it gets further and further from the originals and ik ik that's what a redesign IS but#i do kinda wish they went back in the other direction a little idk. there's a reason why 1998s and 2005s are the most popular models#and i truly don't think it's bc they're considered retro or whatever i think it's bc they're a little out there and very unlike other toys#and the whole cutesy rainbow thing is. i totally get why some people love it!!! but you can't rlly deny that it's not really unique#but. idk. i do get both sides of the argument. personally i would have loved smth a little more adjacent to 1998s#that said. a lot of ppl do find 98s creepy and weird so from a sales perspective i get why they might not be. marketable#bc i guess a lot of kids might find them offputting#also correct me if i'm wrong but i think the 2023s have painted on eyes?? which. Don't Like.#didn't love the digital eyes either bc i keep the batteries out so they're just blank for me which is kinda boring#and i don't love the digitization of everything like 😭 idk. so i'm kinda glad they moved away from that#but if they're painted/printed idkkkk. i'm an eyechip girly i think they're great honestly#they're just nice to work with for customizing especially. also keep in mind w my opinions i primarily am a customizer so#i do kinda view it from that perspective#ANYWAY feel free to rb or comment or whatever and lmk ur thoughts. i genuinely do not want to get on here and be negative#or say anything that would upset anyone bc i imagine some anti 2023 furb ppl have probably been pretty nasty#honestly i haven't been online much at all so idk but i can imagine 😭 i ain't wanna come on here and be like BOOOO I HATE IT#i don't hate it tbh i just don't love it yk. but i'm not gonna shit on people who do love it
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if you’re wondering whether i’m going to continue being a petty bitch
the answer is probably yes
sorry (ish)
#listen. i don't HATE r/k#like i'm prepared for them to be endgame#but i'm still gonna complain#if you don't want to see it lmk and i guess i can come up with a tag or something that you can blacklist#because i'm sure there will be more lmao#tl
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also.. thankfully, i think im over the worst of it for now. it was a week of extremely deep misery, mostly bc they took me from an extremely high dosage of anti depressants to zero in 5 days, a timeframe i SAID would NOT do me well and they were like ‘well you’re in here you’re fine’ yeah that’s how i wound up crushing a lightbulb in my hands at 2am, fuck. i’m still debating whether to tell them about that or not. i don’t want to lose any of my freedom or trust, but also i’m gonna leave soon whether they like it or not so i can’t lose *that* much. idk. talking to psych tomorrow, i’ll ask her what she thinks i should do. (she will tell me to tell them. sigh)
urges have gone down significantly. it’s so so dumb but part of me wants to sh anyway because like, i’ve done it now, i’m gonna have to stop again after i tell them, why not do it while i can lol... obviously that’s duuuumb as hell and im not gonna listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hope that at least my psychiatrist listens to me more after i tell him what happened :/ i like him, he just... has a kind of disconnect with his patients, i think. didnt really think this one through. i *told* him im extremely sensitive to withdrawal, and he pulls this shit. apparently ur meant to decrease it by 10% every month or so, not by 100% over 5 fuckn days. christ
and now i’m on a new one that’s an antidepressant and adhd medication. apparently works within a few days. so hopefully that’ll work!!!
#ed mumbles#self harm ///#sorry look lmk if you want me to have this kinda stuff under a read more not just tagged#i put the intense stuff under read mores#it's just i need a place to talk about it#not being able to talk about it is making me go insane#the only place you can really talk about struggling with sh are like.#sub reddits dedicated to that and WOW is that not a good idea#they act like it's a competition how deep u go and it's so invalidating if urs isnt as bad as their#i tell people all the time like its fine mine isnt bad at all its just scratches#and my psych has to patiently go 'its self harm. its bad'#like. ok i guess. yeah. it's the intention not the way it's done#the way internet talks about these things i s2g
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📖📖📖 👀
YES thank you so much- OKAY SO
It’s basically a crossover between tf2 and GTFO, by which I mean I put the tf2 characters into GTFO and came up with my own story. I’m gonna put a keep reading after the GTFO explanation because this is LONG
If you don’t know about GTFO, I don’t know the deep lore but the gist of the game is that the players are prisoners, the prison is run by the Warden, and the prisoners have to go deep into this MASSIVE cave system or pit or whatever and essentially run errands for the Warden. The place is completely underground (although there are a couple missions where you get teleported to the surface) and filled with all sorts of different creatures. Some of them look like mutated humanoids, some of them look like mutated forms of the mutated humanoids, and some of them couldn’t be farther from humanoid. I don’t know how all the creatures came to be, but there’s a mechanic in some levels called “infection” so for the sake of this story that infection is from a virus causing all the mutations. One other mechanic I have to explain is the hydrostatis units (HSUs)- they’re what prisoners stay in when not doing missions, and it’s exactly what it sounds like; keeps you in hydrostatis until you’re needed
For the story itself- the Administrator takes the place of the Warden, she runs the whole thing. Redmond and Blutarch man have a teeny bit of influence over her still, in that they can assign her things to make the prisoners do. Beyond that, it’s entirely her gig. Pauling is her assistant (for now), and the nine mercs are all prisoners. Because of the way the prison is run, no prisoner remembers anything of life before the prison, except for their name (which they gradually forget because all identification is done through prisoner numbers and occasionally the nickname on their passcards (Admin/Warden puts them as a sort of brief reminder of who they are)) and whatever skills they had before coming to the prison.
The story starts with Scout (who is also pointedly remembering that his name is Jeremy), he’s doing a mission and is told his next objective is to go to a certain spot where another prisoner (Spy) will be dropped so they can finish the mission together. As they complete various objectives, they run into the others. In order;
Sniper is on his own mission. Spy and Scout happen across him and he’s told to forfeit his own mission and join theirs
As the three head to the next area, they run into Engie. Now Engie used to do missions with a partner, but he got fed up and refused to go to the extraction point to be picked back up by the HSUs. He gave his partner the objective so that they could leave, but he stayed. He’s been staking out and surviving in a room for a looong time; he regularly clears out any sleepers (generic term for the mutated creatures) that come into his room or any neighboring ones, thoroughly cooks and sterilizes sleeper flesh for food, and boils then re-condensates sleeper blood twice for water (sleeper blood is 80% water because I said so and he needs to live somehow djbdjs). Engie and the other three become allies. He stays put as they move on to the next (infected-fog-filled) area
In the transition bay between areas (yes I made it up shhh) they find a very well-equipped MediStation (as well equipped as it can be for being in an underground hellhole). This is Medic’s, though they don’t know that because he’s not there
While in the fog-filled area they run into Pyro, who’s very infected and does share some behaviors with sleepers but is still a long way from actually being one. The three run away and back to the MediStation-
And this time Medic is there. They bring Medic to Engie, he approves, and Medic checks everyone for infection, and sanitizes them (removes all existing infection but doesn’t prevent them from getting infected again, this is how sanitation packs/stations work in the game actually!)
Scout, Spy, and Sniper bring up Pyro, discuss their behavior, and come to the conclusion that they’re just really infected. After some convincing, they manage to get Medic to go back to the foggy area, restrain Pyro, and sanitize them
They bring Pyro back to Engie’s safe room, everyone’s chilling a bit, and Solly & Demo- on their own mission- hear the light chatter through the door. They peek in, and Medic and Engie check them out before fully letting them in
By now everyone’s been told to join Scout and Spy’s mission
Everyone explores another area filled with HSUs and find another thing I ✨made up✨- Bioconservative Cryounits (BCCUs). They’re used for prisoners that aren’t going to be used again for a LONG time. The team finds one, powers it off, and take out the person who was inside- Heavy
So that’s how everybody meets, moving on to the objectives/proper plot; Redmond demands that the Admin use the prisoners to figure out some sort of cure- the best the team can do is create an improved version of the sanitizer, but it’s enough to get Redmond off Admin’s back. Blutarch’s demand requires going to the surface- specifically, near the Steep Canyon. A lot of something is visible at the bottom but none of them know what- and they won’t find out for a bit, because Blutarch’s demand is just that they find whatever’s powering all the abandoned machines up top. The team finds out, but before they go back to be teleported down underground, they decide to carefully go down into the Steep Canyon to find out what’s in there. Turns out, it’s robots. Hundreds and hundreds of dead robots (Gray Mann’s, though the prisoners don’t know). One imitating each prisoner. Plus one different from the rest (looks like Pauling), it’s also the only one even remotely functional. Engie drags it back and tinkers with it back in the safe room.
Now at this point, the team has done so much and figured so much out that the Admin is planning to put them in BCCUs until she can do a partial memory wipe. Miss Pauling, however, is tired of the twisted treatment of the prisoners and has started discreetly helping the team figure some things out. Admin, of course, discovers this and partially wiped her memory and makes her a prisoner. Admin splits the team up, one group to tackle one last surface missions and the other to run one last minor errand. The surface team, however, gets curious and explores more…and discovers they’re on an island. What’s more, in the distance they see a ship. It’s close enough for them to tell it’s a cruise ship- a sailing cruise ship can only mean that the virus causing the mutations is not running rampant around the world like they thought (yes I know people were still going on cruises during the start of the pandemic but I think a virus that causes violent mutations would have people taking a lockdown more seriously /nm). So the entire rest of the world is fine. The other team, at the same time, finds Pauling. The two teams meet up again, trade info, and decided they’re not gonna go back to the extraction point. They continue research and such, come up with a proper cure, and actually get off the island, haven’t figure out yet if it’s by raft or what but they do. They end up in New Mexico, where as they try to settle in to normal life they see two job offers for mercenaries- fully paid and a base to live on. They all apply, and both sides (RED and BLU ofc) want all nine men as mercenaries and Pauling as secretary. The nine work out that they’ll split in two, each team will have the other half replaced by the robot counterparts improved by Engie, and Pauling ends up working as secretary to both. All’s well that ends well :)
(@starlight-in-wonderland since they also asked-)
#more of an au than a fic but still#I also got two other notebook asks- I could ramble about some of my non-tf2 aus if y’all want#just lmk if you do or if this is plenty jdjsjd#long post#tf2 x gtfo#gtf2o? I guess could be a name?#tf2 au#this took me AN HOUR to write
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Possessed AU: The daycare attendant is being haunted/followed by one of the kids who went missing at the Pizza Plex because of Moon. Sun doesn't want to look at the kid obviously because of guilt, but she's ALWAYS THERE, Moon is mad she's still around. She can possess them at will and answers to the name Lily.
#( new au just dropped boys )#( because i want to make this blog's lore more confusing#( and i kind of want to write an oc i guess? idk#( so lmk if this interests you?#( lily can join the dead kid gang
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