#literally out here speaking bad baby turkish :)
Text
✅️ first full day in İstanbul: bitti
#flew over here on :* reputations bday :* because i was... ready for it#literally out here speaking bad baby turkish :)#i know more than that ofc... but i get nervous/put too much pressure on myself#which prevents me from forming sentences#personal
0 notes
Note
Hiiii! If it’s possible could you do an insta AU with any of the boys where the reader is a famous Turkish actress and model (miss Türkiye)?? Thank you bae 💖
Appreciation. (PG)
hii!! yesss, i can definitely do this! and you’re welcome! i chose pierre since i haven’t written for him yet. i hope you enjoy 🩷
pairing: pierre gasly x miss turkey reader
fc: aleyna şirin (miss turkey universe 2022)
warnings: sexual comment, nothing else tho
note: i used some kika and pierre pics but j pretend ur kika lol. i tried to use ones that you can’t rly tell it’s her. love kika tho. also, i mentioned that y/n is an actress in the vampire diaries, but you can just pretend it’s another show lol.
masterlist here -> masterlist link
^ check my list for all posts! ^
liked by: pierregasly, lewishamilton, and 427,882 others
y/n.user: 🐻🍂🤎
view comments…
pierregasly: ❤️❤️❤️
*liked by creator*
charles_leclerc: i still don’t get why you’re dating him
↳ danielricciardo: right?? does he even have big dick energy? drop the energy 😏
↳ pierregasly: she’s not responding to this.
↳ y/n.user: tu as quand même une grosse bite
translate: you do have a big dick though
↳ charles_leclerc: omg😭
↳ pierregasly: Y/N😳
user8: y/n can speak french??
↳ bananachar: yeah! she said once in a interview with pierre that she learned to speak french to speak to his family in their language
↳ user8: shut uppppp, that’s too cute AHHHH🥺
missturkeyfanpage1: OUR MISS TURKEY IS SHININGG. ACTRESS AND MODEL???? and then there’s pierre
paddockgirlies: the middle picture 😖
↳ f1wags: the IT couple fr
carmenmmundt: okay, pretty lady😮💨🩷
↳ y/n.user: carmen🥹🥹
_______________________________________________
liked by: y/n.user, georgerussell63, and 563,023 others
pierregasly: my lucky charm❤️ @y/n.user
view comments…
y/n.user: P1 BABY
↳ pierregasly: P1🍾
maxverstappen1: congratulations, pierre!!
↳ pierregasly: thank you, max!
f1fanedit55: you did so well today!! congrats on the win
user4: part 1,000,000 of y/n and pierre making me feel single and lonely
alpinef1team: big congrats, man! you did incredible!
y/nandpierrefp: miss turkey and mr soon-to-be world champion
↳ gaslyyyyy: MANIFESTING IT🤞🤞🤞
carlossainz55: you did amazing, mate!
↳ pierregasly: thank you! so do you, carlos
user1: b&w y/n and pierre pics are too cute AGH
_______________________________________________
your instagram story:
Bebeğim -> turkish for “babe”
seen by: pierregasly, landonorris, and 427,005 others
_______________________________________________
liked by: y/n.user, olliebearman, and 612,923 others
pierregasly: not racing for two weeks means going with y/n to her shoots and filming for tvd 🧛♀️
view comments…
user3: MOTHERRRRRRR🫶🫶🫶
y/n.fanpage: LEAVE PIERRE, IM BETTER🔥😖
gasleeeey6: why is she dating him and not ME
f1wags: y/n is THE moment
danielricciardo: the comments…LMAOOO. we all know y/n is wayyy out of pierre’s league fr
↳ pierregasly: what??
↳ landonorris: so true. y/n could get anyone and she chose pierre???
↳ pierregasly: literally fuck off
↳ y/n.user: aww haha, thx guys! love u pierre ❤️
↳ pierregasly: love you too….❤️❤️
tvdeditpage: pierre is shook by these comments
↳ teenwolfbby: he shouldn’t be
formula1posts: we need to appreciate the way pierre posts her so much. man’s is sooo down bad
_______________________________________________
liked by: pierregasly, carmenmmundt, and 571,887 others
y/n.user: my biggest supporter, my best photographer, and the loml all in one 🩷
view comments…
pierregasly: mon amour❤️
↳ y/n.user: aşkım❤️
translate: pierre->my love, y/n->my love
user7: parents 🙏
formula1updates: pierre is an amazing photographer hollyyyy
↳ pierreedits: his job if he stops f1 fr
tvdbbpage: the dress?? HELLO😵 she is stunninggg
yourbsf: you really ate this up babe, ig you too pierre
↳ pierregasly: gee, thanks
↳ y/n.user: thank you loveee. aw pierre, you’re so pretty, it’s okay
↳ pierregasly: ……pretty? i’m gonna come smother you now with cuddles
↳ y/n.user: okie😇
_______________________________________________
liked by: y/n.user, oscarpiastri, and 659,025 others
pierregasly: miss turkey and her ken
view comments…
user7: THEM >
y/n.user: my f1 ken🫶
↳ pierregasly: my miss turkey barbie🫶
f1wags: wow🥲
lilymhe: the second photo-??
↳ y/n.user: j felt like it for our anniversary 🤗
user3: ANNIVERSARY?
↳ formula1updates: it was their three year anniversary of when they started dating!!
y/n.pierre.fp: 🇹🇷🥹❤️
y/n4ever: pierre posts her so much, it warms my cold dead heart 😊
↳ user2: ugh same
_______________________________________________
(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)
#formula 1#f1#formula one#pierre gasly#pierre gasly smau#pierre gasly fluff#pierre gasly x reader#pierre gasly x you#pierre gasly x y/n#pierre gasly fanfic#pierre gasly f1#smau#fluff#f1 smau#f1 fluff
409 notes
·
View notes
Text
As I've seen it again, here are my favorite things about Prince Caspian (2008):
warnings: It is a very long post and I can't help but swear sometimes.
• How Caspian is confused all the time.
• Prefossor: “Don't use that until you really need to use it.”
Caspian: *Uses it the first time he is in danger.* Good job boy, good job.
• “Phyllis.” “SUSAN!” (Lucy does the same thing in tvodt *emotional voices*)
• That disappinted look in Susan's eyes when she sees Peter fighting, and they way she doesn't do anything to help him. Like girl they are beating your brother??
• Edmund comes and saves Peter by simply jumping on everyone who is trying to hurt Peter. We love a clever and quick boi™
• Lucy's little comfort to Peter. *sniffing*
• Peter's iconic hair, that rebel and sassy hair.
• “I'm not touching you!” “I'M NOT HOLDING YOUR HAND!”
• How happy they are at the beach and the way they finally can have pure fun. *more sniffing*
• Narnia is so beautiful in summer and Pevensies look so beautiful too.
• And for my own please, I'll mention how beautiful Peter looks when he is playing in the sea and walking among the ruins.
• The way Lucy holds Peter's hand to show him the way and THE TORCH SCENE GETS ME EVERYTIME.
• Everyone is like where the hell are we and Lucy is just enjoying her apple.
• And again for my own pleasure, I'll mention how beautiful Susan looks.
• “wHiCh cHeSs sEt?” “whOt?” We love a one confused king.
• That shot when they all stand in their places in the ruins and Peter says “Cair Paravel.” I'm like YES SIR I'M READY TO SACRIFICE MY WHOLE LIFE FOR YOU.
• I'm lowkey attracted to General Glozelle. (shameful sniffing)
• I like it that Edmund is the first one to figure out what might have happened to Cair Paravel. And our confused king is again like “whOt?”
• C'mon Peter is very committed to make a torch and it is SO CUTE. And Edmund watching him is so funny, he is like ‘I'm about to end this man's whole career.’
• I'll not tell my thoughts on the time Peter takes his sword. I'm trying to be a good. *choughs*
• Boom! “Drop him!” YOUR QUEEN IS BACK YOU IDIOTS! OOOH HOW I LOVE SUSAN.
• Peter jumping to the water and Lucy using his dagger to cut the ropes.
• “High King Peter, the Magnificent.” I mean if I were magnificent just like him, I'd tell it loud very frequently too.
• Edmund using sword... 10/10 His final pose 20/10. *chefs kiss and sniffing*
• “Or do I have to sit on your head again?” Narnians and humor? Count me in!
• Caspian's accent... YES SIR.
• “I'm Prince Caspian... The tenth.” and “High King Peter, The Magnificent.” are cousins and you can't tell me otherwise.
• “Running away.” Oh just come into my arms you sad and broken boi. *too many sniffings*
• Proffesor inside: Eheheh they are back. You are a dead man now Miraz.
• That underwater shot... 10/10. Peter paddling... 10/10. All of them sitting in silent, sadly... Okay this one hurts A LOT.
• “We didn't mean to leave you know.” *no more sniffing i'm crying*
• Lucy greeting and trusting in a bear is me vs. life. Susan saying a bear to stay away from Lucy is me vs. life again.
• Peter helping Lucy to stand up and her hugging Peter for comfort.
• And that bear scene is very clever to me. It shows that those bad times have an effect on everyone. How even Narnians, kind, gentle, happy Narnians turned into wild creatures because of bad times. Also Susan not killing the bear immediately shows how gentle she is and she always gives a chance.
• “I can hear you.” We love a done™ prince. And him asking questions about Narnia is so cute!
• That zoom to Caspian's face is kiLLING ME.
• AND REEPICHEEP I'd kill and die for him unless he kills and dies for me first.
• CENTAURS ARE BACK!!! Oh I love them so much.
• “You can't carry a map in your heads.” “That's because we have something in them.” LUCY DIDN'T STUTTER.
• “i'M nOt lOst.” My baby tries so hard I love him bye.
• “OH SHUT UP!” is one of my favorite Peter lines. Also he is very sassy and why is no one talking about it?? (I'll talk about it later btw, eheh)
• IF SOMEONE BELIEVED AND LISTENED TO LUCY THE FIRST TIME SHE SPEAKS, THINGS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER AND EASIER FOR ASLAN'S SAKE.
• And Edmund supporting Lucy? We love a supportive and cute brother.
• Caspian is so brave and the speech he gives... *CHEFS KISS* I mean I would fight and die for him too. And when Narnians believe in him, I cry even more. (++Ben Barnes' voice in that accent... Gets me every freaking time).
• The look in Peter's face when he sees the making of the bridge. He is like “Not my kingdom, you bitches!”
• The conversaion between Lucy and Susan... I hate to think their struggles, adjusting to Narnia, adjusting to England.
• Lucy telling a tree to wake up is me vs. life, again.
• The way Peter just comes and hides her out of nowhere... WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE BROTHER.
• When Caspian and Peter fights... Okay, for your safety I'll shut up but the way Peter is ready to hit him with a rock is both funny and shows how a quick and smart fighter he is.
• “PETAH!” Okay Susan, we get it honey.
• “Well if you like, we can come back in a few years.” LIKE WHY IS NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT HIS SASS??
• “You were right to fear the woods.” IS. EXCELLENT.
• Caspian and Peter walking in the front and talking casually. My heart goes *butterlifes* *looove*
• When the papa centaur rises baby centaur's sword... *a loud sniff* .
• I love that there are pictures of Pevensies and Golden Age on the walls. It makes me feel so majestic.
• Caspian: *dramatically lights fire*
• They are looking at The Stone Table and Caspian in the back is like look at the mess you made.
• When Peter and Caspian talk at the same time.
• “There is always a first time.” THAT. SASS. AND CONFIDENCE.
• “We could collect nuts!” “Yes, and throw them at Telmarines!” Reepicheep... Love you babe.
• Okay the whole castle stuff is so freaking cool until the last minutes. Like Edmund and his torch, Susan and THE WAY HE KILLS A MAN BY THROWING AN ARROW.
• But... Caspian babe, kill your bastard uncle anyways.
• And it just should be said: I love how Narnians are always ready to sacrifice themselves because freedom is much more important than their lives. They are not afraid of death as long as it means to get freedom back.
• That poor cat... I don't know what to say.
• You are attacking a castle and your baby Caspian just casually knocks the window.
• Professor doing his best to help Caspian escape and then seeing him back in the castle again... I mean a disappointment level I can relate.
• I wish I could be woken up at night by Caspian, with a sword on my throat? Depends on my mood.
• Miraz being so done is a mood.
• They all are in Miraz's bedroom like:
• Edmund literally headbutts a man wearing a metal helmet. I am speechless.
• You don't have sword? Don't worry you have a torch... just don't break it.
• Reepicheep and his friends pushing that thing makes me cry and scream.
• “Who exactly are you doing this for Peter?” THE LOOK ON PETER'S FACE.
• When Peter screams “FOR NARNIA!”
• My Queen Susan throwing an arrow to man and killing him despite his armour. I. LOVE. ONE. POWERFUL. QUEEN.
• Sometimes I wish I was an minatour.
• Edmund kicking that dude's head by sliding. A simple and powerful move.
• OKAY SO MIRAZ PUSHING THIS MINATOUR IS VERY PERSONAL TO ME. AND I AM VERY PISSED OF.
• And that minatour holding the door. I love you, you strong and scary baby. And I always will.
• When Edmund casually jumps back, I hear Blow Your Mind by Dua Lipa playing.
• That moment when other Narnians are trapped inside and Peter and Susan watch them... MY BABY PETER HAVE HAD ENOUGH PLEASE LET HIM REST. And Edmund seeing the dead bodies...
• That agressive “HEY!” from Caspian and the way Peter and him just scream at each other, idk what to say but it is sort of funny.
• When mama centaur cries, you know I'm dead on the floor.
• King Miraz getting on his throne... Sassy and majestic af. He is a psycho but you know he has taste.
• “What do you want? Congratulations?” Okay Caspian put that sarcasm down babe.
• When my mom watched the scene where The White Witch sort of comes back for the first time, she was like “Not that bitch witch again.”
• The way Peter pushes Caspian is skcjskfsj MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY
• And Edmund killing the wolfish thing is so cool, he is a very talented warrior. Also him stabbing Jadis, he gives like zero fucks.
• And when the ice is broken, they see Aslan on the wall and it is such a strong scene!!
• Can someone please explain me why Miraz and his men wear those freaking helmets?
• “And she won't be alone.” WE. LOVE. ONE. SUPPORTIVE. AND PROTECTIVE. SISTER.
• No, Caspian you may not, no matter how hot you say Miraz.
• Edmund in Miraz's place... Just perfect. That sass, that confidence, that intelligence. THAT look on his face.
• “Your brother's sword is sharper than his pen.” It is an adage in Turkish btw: “A pen is sharper than a sword.”
• “Or hooves.” Lucy, was that joke really necessary honey?
• THE LOVE OF MY LOVE AND MY ONE TRUE LOVE PETER SAYING “WELL, FEEL FREE.” AND “JUST. ONE.” WITH A BRAVE LOOK ON HIS FACE IS THE CAUSE OF MY DEATH.
• Queen Susan standing on her own, holding her bow to hunt men... YES. QUEEN.
• Proud brother™ Edmund.
• The way Peter snarls at Miraz. I mean I WOULD SURRENDER TO HIM.
• AND MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION FOR PRAISING WILLIAM'S ACTING? He fights amazing and his expressions are both beautiful and real. He makes you feel what Peter feels. I just love the way he portrays Peter.
• “Keep smiling.” King Edmund just knows things.
• And the way he just doesn't listen Peter and fixes his arm... 10/10
• When he hits Miraz's wound. He is a smart fighter, and I'll not even bring up how he stabs Miraz.
• “It's not mine to take.” Me inside: *MINE IS YOURS TO TAKE.*
• Caspian just stop screaming and kill this bitch for Aslan's sake.
• “Not one like you.” WITH TEARS ON HIS BEAUTIFUL BLACK EYES. I HATE HIM SOMETIMES.
• Although I hate that they have to fight again, what the Lord did was really smart, I have to admit.
• Have I told you that I hate that ball-throwing-machines?
• Queen Susan telling archers to get ready and Prince Caspian telling “Narnians, attack!” while riding his horse. ALSO WHAT THEY DID WAS SO CLEVER. PETER COUNTING WITH THAT BRAVE FACE.
• My baby Peter fighting again. And Caspian coming out of the underground. *CHEFS KISSES*
• KING EDMUND RIDING A HORSE AND ARROWING PEOPLE?? MORE CHEFS KISSES.
• Reepicheep's tiny armour OMG
• I HATE THAT BALL-THROWING-MACHINES.
• When they all run again (Not to mention Peter has to attack and fight like for like the hundredth time) THEY LOOK FREAKING GOOD AND MAJESTIC AND KING EDMUND CUTTING MEN IS PER.FECT.
• I AM IN STRONG NEED OF HUGHING AN ASLAN.
• THE TREES ARE COMING BACK HELL FREAKING YESSS!!!
• Queen Susan killing with this bows and arrow is just perfect. I love her. Like so much.
• Ooh there is shield wall? Don't worry Narnians will jump on it.
• Peter proudly saying “Lucy,” and looking at Caspian like “Hehe did you expect that?”
• And my baby yells “For Aslan!” and goes to fight. AGAIN.
• Lucy and her dagger? FREAKING DANGEROUS. RUN AWAY.
• Welcome water grandpa, you are very cute!!!
• Aslan is like hehe this is my friend. He is very proud of his friend.
• The guilt on their faces when they see Aslan is so cute.
• “All of you.” SHUT UP YOU MADE ME CRY AGAIN.
• OH AND REEPICHEEP. PLEASE I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH. HE'S HAD ENOUGH.
• Aslan calling him “Small one.” awWWW
• “Do you see him now?” QUEEN LUCY NEVER STUTTERS.
• Okay but the way they all look perfect during the parade. Caspian's crown and Susan's dress are my favs.
• AND THAT LOOK ON SUSAN'S FACE. IT KILLS ME.
• What the hell is Caspian wearing when Telmars go back?
• There is a talking lion in front of them and Telmarines still are amazed by a turning tree.
• Peter looks so good in blue and him giving his sword to Caspian is awwww again.
• Peter and Susan are the ones who'll not come back again and they both wear blue while Lucy and Ed wears green.
• Peter shaking hands with the centaur is an another awwww.
• The kiss makes me feel weird but I'm alright with that.
• “I'm 1300 years older than you.” is CUTE TO ME.
• Peter's proud brother smile. 10/10
• The way Lucy looks back at Aslan breaks my heart.
• THE ENDING KILLS ME. DESTROYS ME. VANISHES MY EXISTENCE. THAT LION ROAR. THAT SONG. OH HOW I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND NARNIA MOVIES... I AM CRYING AGAIN.
oooh okay, thank you for sharing this emotional roller-coaster with me. i hope you enjoy it.
love, andrea.♡
#narnia#the chronicles of narnia#peter pevensie#edmund pevensie#lucy pevensie#susan pevensie#peterpevensie#edmundpevensie#lucypevensie#susanpevensie#high king peter the magnificent#king edmund the just#queen lucy the valiant#queen susan the gentle#prince caspian#princecaspian#caspian#caspian the tenth#prince caspian movie
142 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Zmija Yilan was a temporary character I played towards the end of our Tomb of Annihilation campaign after my boy Alexus got petrified by a beholder somewhere deep in the bowels of the tomb itself. We were able to “salvage” both him and Amara (who had also gotten petrified in the same fight) by shoving them into the Bag of Holding, but short of having the two of us sit on the bench while the remaining two party members waddled back to town, we had to roll some new characters.
I spent most of the week between the petrification and the new characters appearing being mad at myself for not remembering I had Inspiration I could have used to reroll either of my failed dex saves and not being able to do much beyond that, but with less than 72 hours left until she had to debut, I finally pulled an idea out of my butt, ran it by the DM because it involved Shenanigans™, got the OK and started designing her. Thus was born Zmija Yilan, whose appearance was based partly on an old photo that was semi-viral on Tumblr several years prior and partly on Xelloss from Slayers because when I’m in a pinch, that’s always who I fall back on, and have been doing so for like, 20+ years at this point lmao. Personality-wise, there was a post floating around Tumblr that week about proverbs in various languages that, when translated literally or without context, made very little sense so she got a lot of that (and associated misunderstandings based on language mix-ups) mixed in with—again—Xelloss from Slayers, because I am a hack. I would probably never play her again because she was so firmly entrenched in that campaign and also there’s some parts of how I designed/played her that I look back on and am like “ehhh I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the optics of this,” but I enjoyed playing her a lot more than I expected, and I look back on the end of our Tomb campaign very fondly because of it.
I haven’t been able to talk about her in public both for a lack of reason to do so and because I didn’t want to “spoil” my group in case they found my various social media posts, but as it’s nearly a year since she was introduced and nine months since the campaign ended, I’m gonna absolutely wall of text the shit outta this bitch, rofl (that said there’s baby’s first nekkid pin-up under here so assuming Tumblr lets me actually post it, fair warning for that under the cut)
Zmija Yilan - level 8-10 Human* Warlock (Great Old Ones/Pact of the Tome)
(usually this is where my D&D character posts put stats but I don’t actually have access to her character sheet anymore, so let’s just pretend she had something ridiculous like maxed Charisma because I remember my spell DC being ridiculously high)
Zmija Yilan is a traveler from the far-off land of Zemlya, and a disciple of Matrymriy, one of the "family" of five gods in the pantheon of that region. Matrymriy came to Zmija in a dream one night and told her to travel across the seas because She had a task for her, and that she would learn more once she reached her destination. She's been traveling around Faerun for seven or so years—reaching one place, being given hints to go to a specific location, and upon reaching it, being told to travel on without seeming to do much more than just Be There. Upon reaching Chult sometime within the last few months, her patron's hints indicated that she should travel to a place called Shilku Bay; she hired a guide (named Salida) and a bodyguard (a Fort Belurian mook) with what little locally-acceptable currency she had; they got separated after being attacked by a band of undead, and after failing to reunite with them, she was wandering around lost, trusting that Matrymriy will guide her where She desires her to go.
Part of her wandering had her end up in the Tomb of the Nine Gods itself, where she encountered our adventuring party (down two player characters) desperately trying to find their way out of the tomb in the hopes of returning to Port Nyanzaru to depetrify their friends. Our barbarian’s player immediately distrusted her because I’d drawn her tabletop token with her back to the camera, which was an awkward feeling almost immediately returned in-game because both the barbarian and paladin aren’t hardcore RPers but they had to carry all the RP weight as they were introduced to this new character and explain that they were there to destroy a lich (both because it was the source of all the bad undead in the area, and because they’d been promised a reward—a motivation Zmija understood, as “a hungry bear will not dance.”) Beyond the usual RP awkwardness there was an additional layer of awkwardness between the characters IC as at the time, Thokk was barely wearing more than a breastplate and loincloth, while Zmija was covered neck-to-ankle despite the heat and humidity of the region. She claimed that in the culture of Zemlya, having strangers see your skin was a mark of great shame and that modesty was of paramount importance, so seeing so much of him was very off-putting and threw her off-balance for much of their initial interactions.
Getting off on the “wrong” foot with the party and pushing as hard as I could into Zmija’s quirks (the weird proverbs, sprinkling in her Zemlyan vocabulary and making a point of her being from Very Far Away with Very Different Customs) meant I went a little too hard on them at the beginning, which is partly what I’d do differently and partly why the whole thing ended up working, so it’s a weird retrospective balance. If my partymates had ever shoved (almost) any of the names or places Zmija mentioned into google, they probably would have twigged to the scheme pretty dang fast.
In reality, Zmija is not a human traveler from Zemlya, because surprise! she's actually Zsaksatyi, a Chultian Yuan-Ti Pureblood under the command of Fenthaza. She worked as a bit of a double agent/interrogator within the Fane prior to her current assignment (hence her spell list's focus on information gathering, silent communication, and manipulation); she's been fleshing out her alternate persona for years and would occasionally pretend to be a captive and be thrown in one of those cells the party was in to get relevant information from the other prisoners, or assist others that were interrogating prisoners by more direct means (via Detect Thoughts). In-universe, the language she pretends to speak is mostly made up, and something she's been working on for years at this point—it's not a fully-fleshed conlang and she only has a couple hundred words and phrases but it's enough to be consistent and believable when she sprinkles it into regular speech. Since there's no real risk of running into anyone else from Zemlya (because it doesn't actually exist), it mostly didn't matter, and since there's actual meaning behind the words she does have, in theory it would have held up to a spell like Comprehend Languages as well. Out of universe, the language she speaks is an amalgamation of my own conlang stuff (which, like the in-universe version, is very limited and not complete) and various words and phrases pulled mostly from real-world Slavic languages (russian, croatian, hungarian, etc) with a little bit of Turkish thrown in when my English-only ear felt that it fit or when I had already used a word and needed another word for the same thing. Zsaksatyi (pronounced dzahk sot-YEE) is the only name/word in the whole mess that doesn’t actually mean something somewhere, and was a combination of syllables from an online Yuan-Ti name generator that I kinda liked together. If she had ever been outed, I would probably have come up with something a little less cumbersome for me and my (almost certainly wholly monolingual) D&D group to say... but she didn’t, so Zsaksatyi it stays!
She very much looks up to Fenthaza and almost idolizes and worships her—if she ever had to choose between Fenthaza or Dendar, things might have gotten a little bit rough for her (possibly no matter which way she ultimately jumped, though I imagine Dendar's vengeance would be more immediate, if Dendar's a hands-on sort of patron). Thankfully (for her), there was very little risk of that given that the party had left Fenthaza on reasonably neutral terms (having already helped her oust Ras Nsi from his position of power in the Fane and the party having essentially marked that dungeon as “cleared”). Fenthaza had sent her to scout the Tomb of the Nine Gods and locate (or steal) an artifact known as the Black Opal Crown, which will allow the Night Mother to emerge into the world. The group actually came across the crown pretty soon after Zmija (and our other new character, a firbolg druid named Mei Ren who replaced our cleric, Amara) joined them, but the party couldn’t figure out how to get it out of the room it was in and Zsaksatyi was content that it would be safe from both our group and other adventurers there while she found her way back to the Fane (though she Sent the location to Fenthaza in case she wasn’t able to make it back). That was actually like, halfway through the session right after she’d been introduced so having her sneak off that fast would have been absolutely wild, so I kept playing her as Zmija and while there were myriad opportunities for her to be discovered—including a hallway where any non-magical non-living thing got evaporated, up to and including clothing—she never was. The fact that the only spells she ever used spell slots on were Hex, Counterspell, and Identify never really got commented upon, because prior to her joining the party we didn’t have a source for any sort of utility magic and we’d been feeling the lack for a while. She was a lot of fun to play just as Zmija once I got the hang of her, but the hidden agenda that only our DM & I knew about was an extra layer of fun, too. It would have been neat to see how the party reacted to a reveal, but unless Jim wants to take us back to Chult to actually deal with the Night Mother’s return (because without having to keep up appearances and alignments, I’m pretty sure I could have gotten that crown out of there even before the weird teleport-defying magic of the Tomb got turned off), her story is over for us—taking her outside of the setting she was designed for would be weird... plus we already have two warlocks (well, one and a half) in a party of four PCs; adding a third would be a little bit bizarre, I think.
Her more Yuan-ti features include scales down her spine and across her shoulderblades, on the backs of her hands, and on her hips and thighs—mostly in reds, oranges, and browns, but as she increases in power and connection with the Night Mother, more of them are darkening to Her blue-black; it started right at that spot between the shoulderblades where you always picture being stabbed in the back, and has expanded from there; I imagine by level 20 all of her scales would be that blue-black and may have encroached further on the more human-y leather bits, probably encroaching on her face at the last, which would make being a spy a lot more difficult (even moreso than wearing as much clothing as she already does) but I guess at level 20, do you really need to be sneaking around pretending to be human?
In direct sunlight or other very bright light, her pupils constrict to slits, which is the real reason for her heavy eye makeup—between the distraction of it and the (somewhat exaggerated) squinting that such light induces, it often goes unnoticed, as it did with her character portrait (although to be fair to my party, Alexus also has slit eyes because that’s one of the traits of elves and half elves in D&D, and also I’m not sure if they ever saw her portrait any larger than 150x150 or whatever Roll20 shows them at). Both her top and bottom canine teeth are sharper, longer, and narrower than is typical for humans, and she is careful not to grin too widely and will cover her mouth when she laughs or yawns, whether she is in disguise or not. That part I’ve never drawn though, so I can’t really point to that as something the party overlooked, heh. In hindsight, I wish I'd given her more/heavier snake features but even the official art for Yuan-Ti player characters are very light on them and getting around the differences between human and yuan-ti racials without tipping off the party was hard enough as it was—I took the 120 feet of magic-ignoring darkvision invocation to disguise the fact that she innately had darkvision, I never used my racial spells and abilities unless I was willing to “use” a spell slot on them and had another plausible way to have obtained them, the one time I got hit with a poison ability (which she was immune to) I spent a lot of time “figuring out the math” on how much HP I had to drop, etc. I also wish I’d given her darker skin, as she is supposed to be Chultian but she is significantly lighter than all the NPCs we came across. Then again, I’m as white as a sheet soaked in bleach so there’s something weird about me RPing folks of colour regardless (especially given her fake backstory, agh agh agh) so yeah. Really enjoyed her, don’t regret her, will not ever play her again rofl
In our very last session of Tomb of Annhiliation, the party—fresh off the victory over the big bad lich whose name I can never spell and his weird world-eating fetus—headed back to Port Nyanzaru via the Aarakocra village of Kir Sabal, which the previous variant of the party (of whom only Thokk remained alive and mobile enough to talk to them) had helped out significantly earlier in the campaign, unlocking a flying ritual that we were like “man we’re not coming back here if we’re gonna use it we gotta do it now” to get us the rest of the way to the port. En route, Zmija tried to leave the group and rolled a secret 15 Stealth roll... contested by 17 and 18 perception rolls from Mei Ren and Thokk, but as she wasn’t carrying much of the party’s stuff and it was the end of the campaign, they kinda just let her give some line about seeing them again in the future maybe, the Mother’s will is unknowable, etc etc. I think if Duf and Kattii didn’t know that I wanted Alexus back as badly as I did and that we were like twenty minutes (real time) away from actually getting him back, they might have considered that more suspicious than they did.
Pronunciations (and translations): (mostly C&Ped from her bio, which is the only part of her character sheet I can still access on Roll20)
Zmija Yilan: zMEE-ah yee-LAHN. Because I'm subtle as hell, that's Croatian/Russian/Ukranian (first name) and Turkish (last name) for "snake/serpent," according to the internet. What do you mean Remus Lupin is a werewolf?!
Matrymriy: mah-tRRuh mRREE (Rs are rolled). Matrymriy is Zmija's claimed patron—one of five major Zemlyashan dieties—but she'll state that she doesn't know the name that she goes by in the local dialect. That's only partly true, of course—мати мрій is Ukranian for "Mother of Dreams" (at least according to google translate), which is close enough to her patron's actual names and titles (Dendar, the Night Mother) that she can get away with it without actually raising suspicions about the true source of her powers. She'll also do that thing where if someone tries to say the name back to her she'll "correct" them by saying it exactly the same four or five times and then "give up" and accept whatever "butchered" version the speaker comes up with, except she'll do it even if they're actually saying it perfectly correctly. She may do this with her own name as well (sorry, Jim. And Duf. And Dustin. And Kattii. And Kattii's coworker, if he ever joins us and I'm still playing this character by then, lmao.) (2021 addition: and literally everyone who has a name that isn’t typically pronounced by us English-only plebians, I am so sorry I’m not better at your language)
Zsaksatyi: dzahk sot-YEE. Zmija's real name, when she isn't pretending to be a human. That doesn't mean anything as far as I know, it was just a combination of some of the syllables the random Yuan-Ti name generator was coming up with that I liked (which is also where "Itszella" was from), lol. I may end up changing it to be less cumbersome at some point, unless it comes up before then and ends up written in stone, but I'm on a bit of a time crunch for the moment.
Zemlya: zem-lyah. If pressed for more detail on where in Zemlya she's from (e.g. by someone pretending to know details about her country), her home town is Fal'shyva (fall-sheh-VAH), southeast of the capital of Hayali (HI-yah-LEE) and just north of the port city of Farazi (fah-ra-DZI), which is where she originally sailed from seven years ago. фальшива земля is Ukranian for "fake land," Hayali is Turkish for "imaginary," and Farazi is Turkish for "hypothetical," lol.
Proverbs & (approximate) Pronounciations: (if I recall correctly, asterisks indicate ones I had used, so I didn’t repeat myself too frequently)
Wziąć się w garść (zvun shih garsch): lit. take the self into the fist (polish), pull yourself together
Галопом по Zemlya (gal-OH-pohm poe zem-lyah): lit. galloping across Zemlya (russian), to be hasty/haphazard.
* У кого немає собаки, полює з котом (Ooh koe-hoe meh-MIGH-eh soe-BAH-kay, poe-LOO-yay koh-tome): lit. who does not have dog, hunts with cat (ukranian, original proverb is portugese), make do with what you have.
Z choinki się urwałaś? (dzi hoink-E she urr-vahl-wash): lit. did you fall from a Candlenights(aka Christmas) tree? (polish), you are obviously not well-informed; are you dumb?
* Mi o vuku (MEE oh voo-koo): lit. to talk of the wolf (croatian), speak of the devil.
* Thalai muzhuguthal (tha-LIE MOOz-GOO-thal): lit. pour water over someone's head (tamil), cut off a relationship.
* Хоть кол на голове теши (coat-coal nah gohl-ehvee teh-SHEE): lit. you can sharpen an axe on this head (russian), a very stubborn person.
Other Languages Are Hard Today, Let’s Just Proverb It In English:
Cat's Forehead (japanese): a tiny space, usually used humbly to refer to owned land.
It fell between chairs (swedish): group work that everyone assumed someone else would do, and didn't get done as a result
* It gives me a beautiful leg (french): fat lot of good that'll do me
Drown the fish (french): avoid a subject by talking about anything and everything else, confuse the issue
In a river with piranhas, the alligator swims backstroke (brazil): protect your weaknesses
* Accusation always follows the cat (iraqi): it's easy to blame someone who can't defend themselves
The honey only sticks to the mustache of he who licked it (arabic): he who smelt it, dealt it
* A hungry bear does not dance (greek): the reward must be worth the cost (or at least exist)
* The crayfish sides with the crab (korean): people who have a lot in common stay friends
* If you can't live longer, live deeper (italian): get the most of your time
* A spoon does not know the taste of soup (welsh): intelligence is not wisdom
Examine what is said, not who speaks (arab): don't take things at face value
* Turn your face to the sun and the shadows will fall behind you (new zealand): have a positive outlook
He who does not travel, does not know the value of men (moorish): wide experience is gr8
Do good and throw it in the sea (arab): don't expect anything back from kindness
* Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is halved (swedish): friends make things better
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together (african): strength in numbers, speed on your own.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Masterlist
It’s been 4 long yeays, and I’ve finally got my stuff together. Literally. Behold, the Masterlist. Everything I’ve ever written not including the stuff I have saved in drafts and queued for you while I’m not here (so I’ll be adding to this later). It’s been a journey, and I want to thank everyone for their requests, words of encouragement, and bearing with me. At long last, enjoy.
Altair, The Original Baddie, The Original Bae
Mod!Altair: Watching Scary Movies
Being Sick
It’s Not What It Looks Like
Crack A Smile
A Day With: Altair
Jealous
Habibi
The Plan
Altair Doesn’t Stand for Bullies
Pride
Mod!Altair and The Dead Bodies
Ow, I Got A Papercut...Kiss It?
I Love This Song! Want To Dance
Dadtair
Mod!Altair: I’m Not Overreacting! You Killed Someone!
You’re Eyes Should Be On The Target, Not My Backside
Mod!Altair: Normal People Don’t Have A Basement Stockpiled With Weapons
You Look So Beautiful Covered In Blood
Liquid Confidence
Happily Ever After
You’re An Assassin. Act Like It.
The Mentor
Where The Heart Is
That No Good Apple
Masyaf
Novice
Target
Conspiracy
Dating Altair Would Include:
When A Good Man Goes To War
Pictures With Santa
Altair’s Happy Ending
Darim:
How It Should Have Happened (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)
Early Bird
Malik
Malik and The Shirt
Malik and The Artist
Bureau
Nurse Malik
Office Romance
Rainy Days
AltMal
Dai Malik
AltMar
(Disney AU) Once Upon A Dream
AltMalMar
(Disney AU) Prince Malik
Kadar
Sorry, Was This Your Sweater?
Federico
Did You Just Set The Kitchen On Fire?
Claudia
(Disney AU) Claudia Won’t Say She’s in Love
Ezio de la la la
Mod!Ezio: Coming To Your Rescue
I Think I’m in Love With You, and I’m Terrified.
Make It To The Bed
When You Bring Him Home
Jealous
He Must Be Late, and She Must Be Beautiful
A Ezio HC
I’m So Tired
Mod!Ezio: A Date
Chocolate
Serenade
The Man Who Has Everything
La Volpe and Cats
Mod!Ezio and The Passionate Kissing
Mod!Ezio: Study
Big Brother Ezio and The Skirt
Mod!Ezio: Traffic
Let’s Stay In
Here, Let Me Kiss It Better For You
You Only Know One Side of The Story.
Who Do I Have To Kill For Some Chocolate?
Helping Ezio Kick Butt
You’re An Assassin. Act Like It.
Do It. End This. Please.
I Trusted You!
This Is It. This Is How I Die.
What Could Have Been
EzioLeo
The Love From Near and Afar
Yusuf, The Teddybear of Istanbul
Wake Up!
The Teddybear of Istanbul
Lift
Mod!Yusuf: I’ll Wake You Up When We’re There
Yusuf is 75% Sure
I Don’t Remember What Life What Like Before Loving You
I Bet I’m A Better Cuddler
You Look Adorable When You’re Cold
Would You Look At That.
At What Cost?
Dating Yusuf Would Include:
Yusuf and Claudia
I’ll Wake You Up When We Get There
Claudia Meets Yusuf
Love Affair
Dating Yusuf Would Include:
Yusuf x Arno
Turkish Delight
Connor Kenbae
Sleepless
The Hero You Need
Mod!Connor: Watching Scary Movies
Reacting to Your Pregnancy
Being Sick
Connor Doesn’t Stand for Bullies
A Rainy Day
The Middle of a Thunderstorm
Please Don’t Do This.
Is There A Reason You’re Naked in My Bed?
Sweater Weather
Tell Me A Secret
A Massage
Wanna Dance?
Fainting
Mod!Connor: Helping You Through A Bad Day
It’s A Big World, Connor Kenway
Connor and The Artist
The Death of Charles Lee
Jealous
A Fight
Snow Day
What Were You Dreaming About? You Were Shouting.
Tired
Mod!Connor: A Date
Teddybear
Lift
Mod!Connor: Confessing
Faith, Trust, and Ratonhnhake:ton
Love At First Fight
Jealousy Brews Beasts
Connor vs The Bow
TOKW Connor
Connor and The Cereal
Connor and The Dream
Connor and Cats
Connor and The Arm
Connor and The Dead Bodies
Connor Punches First, Asks Questions Later
Puppy With The Puppy
What Would I Do Without You?
Here, I’ll Kiss It Better For You
You Look Adorable When You’re Cold
Do You Think You Could Just Talk To Me?
Happy Birthday Connor
Family Fun
Beautifully Flawed
Haytham Hits On You, And It Goes How You’d Expect
I’d Do It Again If I Have To
Half Blood (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) (Chapter 7) (Chapter 8) (Chapter 9) (Chapter 10) (Chapter 11) (Chapter 12)
Of Course There’s Blood. What Did You Expect?
This Is The Worst Time For It To Start Raining
The Man With The Silver Tongue
Braiding Connor’s Hair
Angsty
Happily Ever After
You...You Fight Good
I...I...I Think I Love You
Must You Be So Dramatic?
Cat and Mouse
Fire Fire
The Flames
Spur of the Moment
Heart Health
Kanen’to:kon
This Is Not Funny
Smitten!
Connor & Kanen’to:kon
Teddybear
Connor & Haytham
Kenways’ Happy Ending (Part 1) (Part 2)
Haytham
Kiss Me.
Just A Bad Dream
It’s Already, I’ll Manage On My Own
Comparisons
Baby Brother
Shipwrecked
Mod!Haytham & Teen!Connor: Haytham’s Lovelife
Mod!Haytham and The Name
Haytham and The Dream
Haytham and The Passionate Kissing
Ow, I Got A Papercut...Kiss It?
It’s Not Just You That I Love
Cupid’s Chokehold
Haytham and Ziio:
(Disney AU) Colors of the Wind
Thomas Hickey
Hickey and The Proposal
Hickey Asks For A Date
Edward Kenway
Time Alone
Hey! I Was Gonna Eat That!
I Wish I Could Hate You
A Massage
Fainting
Marry Me?
Jealous
Is There A Reason You’re Naked in My Bed?
This Is Not Funny
Look At Those Muscles
You Can Sit On My Lap, If You Want
Mod!Edward: Hot Chocolate
A Little Trip
Edward is 75% Sure
Edward and The Arm
Mod!Edward and The Skirt
Drunk In Love
I Love This Song! Want To Dance?
That’s Not Exactly What An Apology Sounds Like
Mary Had A Little... (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6)
Righting Wrongs (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)
Mod!Edward: Leather Jackets, Hot Chocolate, Edward Kenway
Goodnight, and Joy Be With You All
Dating Edward Would Include:
(Disney AU) Golly, What a Day!
Charles Vane
Why Didn’t You Just Ask?
What Would I Do Without You?
It’s Not Just You That I Love
Failing Vane
Arno Victor Dorian
Strange Weather
Is There A Reason You’re Naked in My Bed?
Hey! I Was Gonna Eat That!
Mod!Arno: Urges
Jealous
The Weird Dream
A Fight
The Fight
Lift
You Can Cook?
This Is Not Funny
Arno and The Ankle
Arno and The Arm
Mod!Arno and The Passionate Kissing
Arno and The Cat
Arno and The Cats
It’s Not Just You That I Love
Happy Birthday, Mr. Dorian
You’re An Assassin. Act Like It.
Arno’s Escape
Dating Arno Would Include:
One Dance
Beginner’s Unluck
Being Arno’s Sister
A Friend In Need
First Kiss
A Cafe in Paris
(NSFW) Happy Birthday, Mr. Dorian
Arno & The Frenchmen Four
To Save The Savior
We Have A Dog
Mod!Frenchmen: This Is Not Funny
Ghosts
The Thing
I Bet I’m A Better Cuddler Than You
When I Said Start A Small Fire, This Was Not What I Was Talking About
I Got Stabbed...So You Bought Me Cake
If We’re Arrested, It’s Entirely Your Fault
Be Our Guest
Arno, A Man of No Words
Something Blue, Something Borrowed (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
The Frenchmen Four
A Walk In The Park
A Background (My Personal HC)
A Typical Day
Dating HC
Older Siblings HC
Axeman
To The Rescue
Blades
Mod!Gerard: Did You Just Set The Kitchen On Fire?
Lift
Did I Mention How Cute You Look After A Run?
Greencoat
Bagel
So, Basically, You’re In A Cult
Green Coat, Red Cheeks
Green Eggs and Ham
Ghost
A Ghost Story
Elise
Hot Chocolate and Smores?
Shay Patrick Cormac
Hey, I’m With You, Always
Have You Seen The...? Oh.
Don’t Panic, Love
A Fight
Riven (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) (Chapter 7)
Look At Those Muscles
I’ll Wake You Up When We’re There
With Child
Mod!Shay and The Arm
Shay in Jail
Shay is 75% Sure
I Don’t Remember What Life Was Like Before Loving You
Cold? Here, Let Me Hold You
You Look Adorable When You’re Cold
Here, I’ll Kiss It Better For You
I Don’t Need Luck, I Have Hope
Someone’s Trying To Kill Us, And You’re Flirting With Me?
Must You Be So Dramatic?
I Make My Own Luck (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) (Chapter 7) (Chapter 8) (Chapter 9) (Chapter 10) (Chapter 11) (Chapter 12) (Chapter 13) (Chapter 14) (Chapter 15) (Chapter 16)
Happy Holidays from The Cormac Family
Soft Shay
Dating Shay Would Include:
(Disney AU) Into the Unknown
Liam O’Brien
Liam’s Happy Ending
Happy Holidays With Liam
Dating Liam Would Include:
Jacob
Did You Do That For Me? Aw, Come Here
Jacob Being Sweet
Brawl
Jacob and The Skirt
Mod!Jacob and The Car
Mod!Jacob and The Underwear
Jacob Punches First, Asks Questions Later
A Use of The Rooks
Cold? Here, Let Me Hold You
Mod!Jacob: Hot Chocolate and Smores?
It’s Not Just You That I Love
I Can’t Imagine Being Alone Anymore
Name One Time, I Dare You
Mod!Jacob: Father Frye
You Only Know One Side of The Story.
Happily Ever After
Must You Be So Dramatic?
You’re An Assassin. Act Like it.
I...I Think I Love You
Do It. End This. Please.
You’re The Source of All My Problems
Evie
A Night With Evie
Evie and The Cereal
Henry
A Sweet Story
Desmond, Definately Alive, Miles
Lift
Did You Just Set The Kitchen on Fire?
Fluffy Desmond
Desmond’s Song
Desmond and The Chloroform
Desmond and The Underwear
Desmond is 75% Sure
Desmond
Can’t Imagine Being Alone Anymore
I Love This Song! Want To Dance?
Hot Chocolate and Smores?
Sorry, Was That Your Sweater?
Roof Talks
I Trusted You!
Desmond’s Happy Ending
Shaun
Shaun and The Demon
Shaun and The Underwear
It’s Not Just You That I Love
I Don’t Remember What Life Was Like Before Loving You
I Bet I’m A Better Cuddler Than You
Grab My Hand. We’re Gonna Make A Jump For It
We’re Not Dating
A Happy Ending With Shaun and Clay
Abstrego
Cavities
Kassandra
Alexios
Have We Met? (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
(Disney AU) Zero to Hero
Brasidas
(NSFW) Baesidas
Assassin Prefernces:
When You’re Sick
When They’re Sick
Secret Truths: Talents
Secret Truths: Fears
Secret Truths: Sleeping
Secret Truths: (Axeman, Yusuf, Malik)
Secret Truths: Sex
Secret Truths: Sex (Evie, Yusuf, Malik)
Secret Truths: Fears (Evie, Jacob, Henry)
How They’d Confess / Ask You Out On Your First Date
Reacting To Your Tattoo
Reacting To Their S/O’s Pregnancy (Altair, Ezio, Connor, Edward, Yusuf, Jacob, Connor, Shay,
Training Styles (Altair, Ezio, Connor, Shay, Evie, Jacob)
Reacting To Their S/O Speaking Their Language (Altair, Edward, Ezio,
Secret Truths: Dogs (Altair, Ezio, Connor, Edward, Haytham, Shay, Evie, Jacob)
Secret Truths: Dancing (Connor, Edward, Haytham, Shay, Aveline, Elise, Evie, Altair, Ezio, Jacob, Malik) Bayek (not my addition), Kassandra, Alexios,
Coffee / Tea Preferences (Everyone)
How They Say “My Wife”
Combo Assassins:
Connor and Arno: Friends and The Tub
Falling For Jacob
Gang Gang
Edward Punches First, Asks Questions Later
Aveline, Evie, and The Dead Bodies
Connor, Shay, and The Sprained Ankle
Ezio, Arno, and The Arm
Let Them Eat Cake
Assassins To The Dentist
Sons and Daughters: Backyard Fun
Blackout
A Modern Shakespeare
Shay: I’m Surrounded By Idiots
Connor: Do It. End This. Please.
Jacob: You’re An Assassin. Act Like It.
Edward: Must You Be So Dramatic?
Edward: I Hate Myself
The Other Side of the War
The Assassins As Roommates:
The Original
Girls’ Nights
Part 2
Nicknames With Jacob
Friendsgiving 2015
British Bromance
Girl’s Night
Break In
Scary Movie
Date Night: Altair and Maria
Christmas 2016
Fight Club (Evie vs Connor) (Desmond vs Jacob) (Malik vs Alexios) (Altair vs Bayek)
Moving Out
Tall Tales
Altair’s Birthday
Altair’s Happy Ending
Canon Crimes
Halloween 2019
Fun
Thanksgiving 2019
Meeting The Spartan Siblings
Christmas 2019
The Christmas Miracle of 2019
(Disney AU) I’ll Make a Man Out of You
#ya gurl finally did it#after all these years#Altair Ibn La'Ahad#Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad#malik al sayf#ezio auditore#connor kenway#haytham kenway#edward kenway#Arno Victor Dorian#arno dorian#the Frenchmen Four#the bagette boyband#Axeman#Greencoat#Ghost#shay patrick cormac#Shay Cormac#yusuf tazim#federico auditore#Kanen'tó:kon#elise de la serre#Claudia Auditore#Thomas Hickey#charles vane#jacob frye#evie frye#Henry Green#Desmond Miles#Shaun Hastings
196 notes
·
View notes
Note
2,11
Ja(*reeees in confusion and how to come up with good qualities*)
2. What’s 3 things your f/o likes about you?
I have....literally no idea- especially on specific F/o’s... I guess for the general it’d be creativity, adventurous, and silly???
11. Free pass to gush about your f/o
Okay so!!! I have many many many *MANY* f/o’s- all from different fandoms and even to a few of my friend’s oc’s!! so it’s hard to list every single one but I am ABSOLUTELY going to list many of them with a little ramble(and the fandom because sO MANY CHARACTERS. (not counting transformers characters, book characters, or Oc’s/ readers for the sake of space)
Dark Crystal(first ofc)
SkekTek: oh do I LOVE this boy!!! His intelligence, his backstory!! I just wish to hold him close, protect him from the world and go on a vacation with him and Sidetic!!!
SkekVar: Originally I wasn’t so fond of him- but his dumb himbo self has grown on me- i remember having a dream a long time ago of the skeksis turning human after saving thra(long plotline) and becoming like teasing partners who playfought a lot. I wantthis still.
SkekGra and Urgoh: They’re just!!!! So sweet!!! I want to snuggle with them, make puppet shows together with them and just enjoy being hermits!!!!
UrVa: Husband material?? yes?? His voice is amazing and i just want to be wrapped in his arms in the forest, learn archery and!!! AAAHSUAIHSA
SkekMal: Scary forest man who shits in the woods with a dark and sexy voice??? sign me tf UP *So many things i’d do with this feral lad*
UrSol: I just....love him so much- I want to snuggle, spoil, tease, and sing with him.
UrTih: I would do ANYTHING to make him blush, embarrass him then snuggle him as he hides his face. UrTih is mY LAD
UrSan: She’s literally a mermaid and she’s so!!! PRETTY I’M SO GAY FOR HER
SkekSa: EVEn GAYER FOR thIS LASS HOLY SHIT SHE COULD STEP ON ME AND I’D THANK HER DUOIS
SkekLi: As a musical/history/folklore nerd. I’d kill to sit by a fire, sing folk songs and tell stories, make up our own plays, and just...enjoy being silly without the worry of being ridiculed.
SkekShod(Sorry shroom-): My??? My love?? I want to give this Skeksis my treasure chest of shiny rocks- I want to hold him close, love and kiss him- if he ever told me he loved me i’d *melt*
Assassin’s Creed
Ezio Auditore: he is *beyond* handsome- and good golly is he just!!! PERFECT. He has so much character development- i just want to learn Italian, follow his adventures and see all the things he has seen!!! (and befriend all of his friends)
Yusuf Tazim: Turkish lad??? Dorky, and just so silly??? yes??? I just....want to run through Istanbul with him---
Federico Auditore: HE WAS ONLY ALIVE FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES OF GAMEPLAY BUT I WANT TO MARRY HIM OK
Altair Ibn La-ahad: Oh boy have I had so mANY DAYDREAMS WITH THIS MAN. I’d kill to have the frenemies to lovers romance with him, aid him in his quests, become his right hand man and just....Share life with him and Maria- being the weird aunt of Darim and Sef
Malik Al-Sayf: SAME HERE WITH MALIK. I just...want to grow up with him and Kadar, learn to be an assassin with them and just- help him through his grief, change the course of time- or if not, be there for Tazim as he grows.
Charles Vane: I have literally no reason to like this man, but I do.
Anne Bonney and Mary Reed: Amazing tough pirate gorls who kick ass and take names- what is there to NOT love?!?!?! (I just want to flirt and love on both of them- and many other NSFW things)
The Hobbit/Lotr
Aragorn: a king and warrior, strong and brave- and just!!! iosjdisada
Boromir: I really feel bad for this lad- he was merely a mortal, and sacrificed so much to regain his honor... I wish I could have saved him- or gave him comfort-
Bofur: He is the life of the party and I want nothing more than to dance on a table with him while singing at the top of our lungs. 10/10 best friends as lovers
Bifur: I want nothing more than to learn Khuzdul, speak with him and just...hold hands as I watch him make such intricate toys, see both that wild side and gentle side.
Nori: I just like his stupid starfish hair and shenanigans okay??? he’s a little shithead thief
Kili: babbi boi....babi
Tauriel: Strong independent woman??? Red hair??? badass?? I don’t care that she wasn’t in the book, I WANT HER HAND IN MARRIAGE
Marble Hornets
Tim Wright: husband?? I would have loved to hold him- before all went to shit- i’d love to be in a poly/open relationship with him, Jay and Brian(brian we’d share, but Jay would be is(As he is CANON GAY AND I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY BEFORE MY HC WAS RIGHT)
Alex Kralie: Honestly was probably an adorable dork before the sickness got to him- I still love the bad ending @probably-rabid and I roleplayed before-
Arata Kangatari(manga is the best)
Kannagi I just- love his character arc so much!!! even afterwards he’s such a dORK AND I LOVE HIM
Yorunami: Okay look- we both went through so much from our parents- so much trauma. I wish to hold him and help him to let go, to forgive but understand that doesn’t mean he has to excuse behavior.
Isora: He went through so much...so much... he didn’t deserve anything that he got, like at all... the fact he turned evil is not a surprise at all- i would have too...I just wish I could love on him, allow him to know there is love.
Eto: He’s such a good big brother....I just...want to love him... so much
Kuroshitsuji:
Hannah Anafeloz: She was my first gay crush I can remember(then again I can’t remember too much of my childhood at all so-) and I love her so much-
Claude Faustus: I fucking hate him- and yet I love him sso sosososo much(Legit he is more of a yandere f/o and I rEEEE)
Herman Greenhill: Idc what happened in the manga- Often daydreamed about getting into Weston high and just... having him question his sexuality(As I’d be presenting as male the entire time) and just--- !!!!
Wolfram Gelzer: Big bad guy who learned to love?? Like!!! He is so sweet!!! big scary Germany teddy bear. 10/10 would snuggle. Also I love sullivan so we’d team up to tease the crap out of him
Gregory Violet: emo boi...likes black and cloaks. He is my goth boi and just...I want to draw with him- save him from Bravat along with the others- and other things that are plot related
Lawrence Bluer: Same for him-and I love how he is! I feel like he’d be a blushing nerd sometimes- but also be calm and collected. gOD I JUST WANT TO HOLD HIS HAND AS WE SHARE A BOOK
The Triplets(thompson, timber, and canterbury): I have no reason to love them- yet i do.
Agni: *incoherent screaming and sobbing as I recall what happened* HE DESERVED SO MUCH AND I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMMMM
Snake: Babbi boi...babbi pt 2- I love him so much- he was my first ever cosplay, tricked my uncle into naming his snake after one of his(Keats). I just want to snuggle this boi.
Joker: sweet boi put into bad situation- I wish I could have saved him and the rest of the circus act-
Jumbo: okay but he is literally like 10ft tall. I want his height. I WANT TO BE CARRIED BY THIS MAN. LET ME BE CARRIED BY MY SUPER TALL HUSBAND OKAY?!?!?!
(I have so so so so SO MANY MORE- but that’s the main ones. Thank you for my TedTalk)
#I can't feel my arms#I want to love all of them#i have so many#Black butler#kuroshitsuji#Assassin's creed#Dark Crystal#the dark crystal age of resistance#The Dark Crystal#Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance#arata kangatari#Marble Hornets#lord of the rings#The Hobbit#I don't even want to write all these characters down
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
991.
1. Rosehip tea: Which book did you love when you were younger?
>> I loved The Phantom Tollbooth, William Sleator books, and Madeleine L’Engle’s Time Quintet (which I only knew as a quartet when I was young, I’m not sure if An Acceptable Time had been released or not but either way I didn’t know about it). I also read a lot of Baby-Sitters Club (Team Claudia!) and Animorphs (Team Andalites!).
2. Oolong tea: Which book series could you read again?
>> Well, the Time Quintet, always.
3. Rooibos: What is one of you favorite books?
>> The Fountainhead.
4. Strawberry tea: Tell me about your first kiss, if you had one.
>> I would rather not.
5. Apple tea: Tell me about your first break up, if you had one.
>> Meh.
6. Earl Grey: Which countries have you visited?
>> None.
7. Chai: Where do you want to travel next?
>> Honestly, anywhere. I’ve been trapped in this city for like 8 months -- with good reason, obviously, but still.
8. Darjeeling: What languages do you speak?
>> English.
9. Hop tea: Do you have a favorite tea? Which one?
>> Ginger tea is the kind I drink the most. I also love peppermint and chai.
10. Herbal tea: Which person would you choose to travel the world with?
>> I mean, Sparrow, by default. I don’t know anyone else well enough to know whether I’d enjoy being with them in a travel situation (to be honest, I would rather travel alone than with 99% of people).
11. Nettle tea: Are you jealous of a person?
>> No.
12. Ice tea: Do you miss somebody? Why?
>> No.
13. Yellow tea: What shampoo do you use?
>> Cantu is the brand name.
14. Peppermint tea: What is your favorite gif at the moment?
>> ---
15. Ceylon tea: Do you have a song you like, but have bad memories with?
>> Yeah, but my enjoyment of the song always wins out. I’ll make things my own if it kills me, I refuse to let shitty situations or shitty people ruin the things I love.
16. Hibiscus tea: What is a song you can always hear?
>> I don’t know what this means.
17. Flowering tea: What is a movie you can always watch?
>> Event Horizon, considering I’ve seen it like 30 times (estimation, not exaggeration).
18. Pu-erh tea: What is a book you can recommend to others?
>> ---
19. Turkish tea: What is your favorite cake?
>> Spice cake.
20. Green tea: What was the first movie you saw in a cinema?
>> The Prince of Egypt. It was one of the best experiences I had as a kid (despite the fact that my father’s criticisms tried to ruin it for me. shut up, old man, you don’t know what joy is).
21. Blueberry-Muffin tea: Tell me a memory, which makes you smile.
>> I don’t feel like casting around in my cavernous brain to try to think of one right now.
22. Panda tea: Do you have pets? Which one?
>> No. Sparrow has a cat, so I guess people would attribute ownership to me as well by default, but... not my cat. Her cat.
23. Butter tea: Show / Tell me about one thing i your room you find awesome.
>> All the art in my room is awesome -- for example, I have a small painting of a fuzzy spider with a Santa hat on that is 100% an image of me. Elle’s bestie painted it and posted it on Instagram and I was like “omg that’s literally me” and she sent it to me :p Thought that was pretty awesome of her.
24. Hot chocolate: Do you have (a) stuffed animal(s) sitting in your room? Which one(s)?
>> I have like 15 plushies in here, lol. A couple of them are technically Sparrow’s but she kept bringing them in here and eventually they just got adopted into my bed pile.
25. 24 flavors: What is your favorite word?
>> I don’t have one.
26. Jasmin tea: Can you draw / paint? Wanna show me something?
>> I don’t think I can’t draw, per se -- I saw some sketches I did a while ago when I was thinking about relearning how to draw, and they’re... not bad. Like, you can see that I used to draw a lot, because a small bit of muscle memory is still there. But I don’t have the dedication to devote to improving the craft -- I chose writing at some point, and I’m sticking with that.
27. Kombucha: What do you order on a pizza?
>> Veggies.
28. Cloud tea: Which movie do you want to watch next?
>> I’m not sure. Anything that I’ve added to a watchlist.
29. Gunpowder tea: If you had the chance: would you go to space?
>> God, would that I had the chance...
0 notes
Text
instead of me making a post where i briefly rate btvs characters im gonna do a post im sure ive already made abt how in the first book alone its shown that narnia is an unreasonable twilight zone to deal with and the lore is wild and aslan is sort of a jerk and bad with dealing with children / dealing with the world he created; or: the battle of the reader vs cs lewis
ok first of all. this book completely wrongs edmund. cs lewis is determined to have us believe that he is a Bad Sort but? not so much that when he's "redeemed" we have to doubt for even a moment that he's now Good Forever. and the reasons the reader keeps being given about why we should be disgusted with edmund are incredibly weak and often bemusing
to start with, cs lewis hates boarding schools which is probably because they could be awful and so he throws out the reason that edmund used to be as nice and purehearted as his siblings until boarding school spoilt his immortal soul? were peter and susan taught at home or in public school then? if lewis was making a comment on how terrible boarding school is, why isnt edmund given any sympathy for this by the narrator or his siblings who just seem largely annoyed by him?
and since at the start the kids are being sent off from home in the middle of a world war their dad is off in and have to go to a boring house with an uncle? who for some reason never like, bothers to speak to them or see them ever. tf, dude. and theyre in england in the first place. anyhow, the fact that edmund being in a bad mood over this is supposed to be evidence of his crappiness is a touch unreasonable. he's like what, 8-11? so much of this book hinges on his character needing to be saved from his own badness that its sort of unforgivable that said badness really doesnt exist. hates his terrible school? hates his terrible situation? difficult? fights with siblings? how is this meant to be fit for A Just and Divine Damnation. why is there such a complete lack of sympathy. does lewis understand anything about children.
the answer is that "adults assuming these young as hell children have the same emotional maturity and logical processes and understanding of the world as adults" is a constant theme. these random schoolchildren become the supreme rulers of an entire country in a world theyve never been in after like, a week. the whole series runs on a fair number of other English Brand notions abt classism, racism, divine right to rule, etc. but even if it wasnt "only humans can lead", why would any children be allowed? children who had never been there? for gods sake
moving on to the plot: lucy finds narnia, etc. i guess on account of being Young and A Girl, which here means spiritual purity? and also as a character trope means Innocence. ok. meeting an exposition-providing faun, getting back, nobody believes her because why would they. their great(but not good) uncle bothers showing up upon coincidence. why hasnt he ever even said "hello, im not evil" to the kids staying at his house?for gods sake. he then explains to the kids a version of one of lewis's apologistic things that supposedly logically proves that christianity is valid and here proves that narnia is real, which it actually does neither of. shove it, clive staple lewis. your argument is crap
oh but edmund went to narnia along with lucy before that had happened. this is supposed to be a crucial point where he meets the white witch and is supposed to be like, dont be like edmund kids!! but frankly he behaves perfectly reasonably during that encounter and also when they all get to narnia. coz, ok, he's in an alternate universe alone which is disorienting for anyone. then the witch just happens to stumble across him. was he supposed to have prevented that somehow? lucy just stumbled across mr tumnus and trusted him inherently and it happened to go well. the first person edmund meets is someone else and he talks with her for a minute because she is a grown ass woman, probably gonna kill him otherwise, and also he's in an alternate universe alone with no idea where anyone is or if he can get back? here is a quick tangent:
a moral throughout the series is that you can sense somethings inherent goodness or truthfulness through how much it gives you a nice gut feeling. yet frankly this is not the only way to go about making choices. and not everything bad sets off alarms and not everything that sets off alarms is bad, so i dont know how much of a lesson that is. but for example, here the witch doesnt give edmund the warm fuzzies, and it is supposed to be a mistake or moral weakness on his part to not have.....what? gone running aimlessly through the arctic landscape in his jammies from a self-proclaimed queen with a sledge? he didnt really have any options here. how is he meant to know she's not really the ruler of this crap place that, so far as he knows, he lives in now? and ok, then somehow his big ol mistake is eating some damn candy and having some hot cider or whatever. it is eternal winter, why is this child a sinner for getting up out of the snow and humoring this lady by taking some offered snackaroos. also, everyone says turkish delight isnt even good. ask for some m&m's, ed!!! love yourself!! and even if he is supposed to know never to eat magical food or be bound to the fairy queen, lucy went and had tea with a fuckin faun so again, they basically did the same thing but edmund met the wrong person by sheer luck of it, so he has to die. LEWIS!!!!!!!
another big Edmund Must Die moment is when he and lucy get back from narnia and edmund lies that narnias fake, because he's evil. first of all, the fact that lucy tells him that some stranger she's buddies with says the white witch is evil and a liar. how is her stranger meant to be more reliable than the witch? this is just the word of two randos pitted together. how is edmund meant to understand this as Proof that the queen is evil and an imposter to the throne. frankly, she's functionally the actual queen, so its not even really a lie? narnia is impossible. secondly, it is 10000% understandable that edmund would realize that if he backs up lucy's claims then everyone is going to go looking for narnia, and in the experience he's just had, its a hellhole. and lucy has just told him that he possibly met an evil witch that is interested in also meeting his siblings? wouldnt be too thrilled about going back there then. and thirdly, if as lewis says he just lies because he is evil? does this man again not understand that Impulsive Pettiness is a bit different coming from a 9 yr old than a grown adult. the narrator is just so aghast at edmund constantly when its like dude he's.....not really doing anything, and also theyre all babies. let him be a bit of a little shit without the devil herself coming to claim his spilled blood for it, mayhaps
also, there is a bit of confusion about the fairy food! it is implied to be actually kind of magically binding, like to a degree he has to cooperate with the witch now because he took food he was offered? or at least it is somehow "corrupting." so how is this meant to be a sin if also it is not even his own choices here! how was he meant to have avoided this? dont take candy from strangers, sure. BUT IF YOU DO, YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET!!!
all the pevensies are in narnia, lucy lets it for everyone else remarkably fast, but i guess she is like 6 and having a nice time with her family in a magical land. although you'd think she'd be more concerned about all that witch stuff, and the fact that mr tumnus was about to straight up childnap her and deliver her to childmurder. like, good on you for not doing that. but how many people has he been selling out all this time! its literally been his job for however long. he's had to have had something to show for it. is morally greyness just arbitrarily sorted into black and white Good/Evil characters and these kids are supposed to sniff out which way these things fall? for gods sake. see, my point is that this adult faun who was going to turn a kindergartener in to be killed until he decided nah, and previously definitely probably narced on people in the past, is way crapper than a kid who has been grumpy and ran into the wrong person? what is edmunds Betrayal. was it the food eating
anyways, then peter is a total dick, but in like a noble way. in that he's mad at edmund for ages but like...again, ok, he's like 12-14 or whatever, who knows. the point is that if he can hold a grudge against his siblings for being annoying, why is that trait evil in edmund? it is because narrator lewis says so, damn him. but if peter is the Natural Born Leader of A Country here, you'd think he could at least manage not to keep giving a hard time to the one of their group who is going to be any trouble keeping in line at all, since lucy is Pure and susan gets the literature role of the Mini Mom. theyre not going anywhere. you basically had one job, pete.
fun fact: this is where they find out mr tumnus is taken by the queens evil forces, referred to as the police. this is basically the only book i can think of where the evil enforcement agency is called a police force. Interesting Stuff
even though im not sure what any of them think they can accomplish by wandering around, they end up following a random bird and following some random beavers. they know this is ok because of those warm fuzzies, and the fact edmund isnt feeling those good vibes is because he's evil, but honestly its a shit plan following some random bird and assuming some beavers are gonna be good guys. the only people edmund knows of in this country are an imposing queen and her kidnapper who's totally nice. also if tumnus told lucy that the queen has loads of spies, why are they crashing around inherently trusting the first things they see? lucy trusts a faun who was going to sell her to satan, edmund sort of has to trust an ominous lady who turns out to possibly be evil? why would he not find it a questionable idea to wander into this beaver dam
in further supposed evidence of edmund being all devil-corrupted by d&d, he doesnt get the warm fuzzies when these random beavers start talking abt a magic lion who's great and wandering around somewhere, you should totally go to him. but they have like, actually zero knowledge about this world beyond the differing accounts of those theyve happened to bump into? how would they know some lion who isnt even around ever is the rightful ruler of narnia, vs some lady who is actually around? she's got one up on aslan for that. where've you been, buddy. what took you an entire century. aslan SHOULD TOTALLY sound kind of crap because, uh, HE IS?
edmund goes off somehow without anyone noticing and the beavers are like oh yeah saw that one coming, that'll be the magic food. like??? you couldve said. or at least not let him sidle off out the door half an hour ago? for gods sake. and again: if this is magic food rules, why isnt the magical kit-kats the Great Traitor of All Of Narnia! how is the concept of sin fitting into all of this. again, edmund just ran into the wrong person. and lewis is just like no, see, but he deserves this because he is irritable and childish and mean. CHILDREN LEWIS!!! HAVE YOU HEARD OF THAT!!!
apparently edmund meanders all the way to the white witches place b/c all the time the entirety of narnia seems to be a couple of miles across or a few hundred miles, depending on whats convenient to the story. the moral of narnia's weird lore is that its only as consistent as cs lewis feels like making it, which is sometimes Completely Bewildering when he just sort of throws stuff out there but moves the narration right along. presumably he wasnt expecting this to operate on the rules that any of this would be regarded with any level of analysis, since tolkien was a contemporary and not a predecessor. but still, dude, get your story straight? especially within the same book.
and anyways also, again! the magic food rules come up. because that is meant to be edmunds motivation, besides just being petty. he is magically bound to the fig newtons. which is i guess meant to explain away him literally going the extra mile for this witch shit, but also still letting him be blamed for that, since he is being SUCH a jerk, see kids? dont act less than chipper at your terrible life unless you want to take your soul's rightful place as the devils property, moreso than literally anyone else in all of narnia? alright. this books plot points are just a bit like.......ok
the other kids definitely have no option but to trust their choice in "trust the first people we bump into." luckily its uh...its fine. but wtf
who is narnia santa!!!!! how can there be a dude based on a saint? does narnia have the concept of saints? is he a dead guy???? i can slightly accept that narnia has a christmas in that maybe that comes from the dude who was made king at its birth being a random english cabbie, i suppose maybe this guy was like "fuck it, its christmas and you're going to like it." but do narnians know what xmas is about at all??? canonly aslan is actually just also jesus in the england-world, but did the cabbie king know that? did he explain the concept of jesus? does monotheistic narnia also accept the concept of a separate god existing in another universe, or are they all also assuming aslan=jesus? but this isnt as confusing as the santa guy. is he like how there's wizards running around? this is so weird. what magic shit would edmund have got. wouldnt it have been nice or at least useful for santa to have given the other pevensies whatever he was going to have given edmund. does that boy also not get xmas presents because he is on the naughty list. bad month for edmund
speaking of edmund, he honestly sort of disappears from the book as soon as he has the realization that the witch is mean :( despite the plot of rest of the book being essentially centered around him? and him finally being in a position for the narration to stop talking about what a cruel cruel monster he is? ok
aslan is just a dick not only for leaving narnia on its own for ages but also just personality wise. rude to the children. they are all like "aslan our brother" and aslan is like "shut up about your brother already, i'll do something about it if i want to but if i dont want to he deserves whatever's coming to him." like? have a little patience for the reasonable questions and uncertainties of these kids, ffs
how is this massive climate shift not fucking shit up like, ecologically. does anyone own shorts at this point? how are plants alive. its magic
oh yeah, forgot that there was that bit in the white witches statue garden of death where edmund straight up thought this one lion he saw must be aslan. wasnt he also getting figurative cold feet until he saw that, also? again, in these circumstances, how was he meant to know that WASN'T aslan and that the witch wasnt the one who was right. shrug! but now another total coincidence is whats driving edmund to go say hey to the witch again instead of backing out of her creepy house. see you in hell ed
back to aslan........uhhh when a wolf attacks susan, who is like, dangling precariously from a branch in fear of her life, aslan orders the skilled warriors not to save susan asap, but instead to let this 13 yr old holding a sword for the first time mosey on over and have a one on one fight with this talking wolf. sure, aslan knows the situation is under control. but the people who dont know?? are these kids in mortal peril? aslan is such a dick. he shouldnt be putting these children in these positions of Leader Of My Army Now, Go Into Actual Combat. but thats just how he rolls. trial by fire, dweebs
oh yeah and since the chance happens to arrive he sends some people to go get edmund back. thanks for bothering to rescue a child! gods sake
then he has a nice long talk with edmund about never being annoyed with your siblings or theres literal hell to pay, i guess! whatever. at least he's paying attention to him for a moment instead of just handing him a sword and telling him not to complain. thanks? telling his siblings not to be dicks about it all is also very mature of him. and apparently necessary since again, cough, peter? getting mad at edmund for being petty and immature maybe shouldnt have involved sniping at him a ton and ignoring him to the point he just left for an hour before anyone was like, wasnt there more of you. lord. im just saying, maybe everyone needs to mature a bit before they are monarchs
psych!! these kids are ready for anything now
except for the bit where the witch comes and demand edmund's head, since...........................i guess she was trying to play the long con? by hoping aslan would do the ol switcheroo? or maybe she was just mad and wanting a good ritualistic murder. but despite the whole damn book being about this explanation of the crucifixion of jesus, it.........doesnt really make sense within the god damn Lore. she has claim to edmunds life because he is a Traitor? to whom? the witch straight up lied to him abt what she wanted to do with his siblings, so how was he meant to have betrayed them if he hadnt known what she intended to do? how can he betray someone if it was the fault of the Law Of The Magic Almond Joy? sure, he lied and snuck around and was pissy and all, but how is that on a level above any other number of stunts other narnians are sure to have pulled. she has narnian spies? arent they traitors? does she have to formally make the claim for the "i get to kill the traitor or narnia is destroyed b/c The Lore, Fuck You" for it to come into effect? is edmund just called a traitor for the strategy of it all, since the humans have to be alive to defeat her. but on what grounds
also, who agreed to give her that authority of traitor-killer? why does that role exist. what. whomst. lewis, explain this?
again like.....how are the children on their own for this bit, either. there is no sympathy for being children in lewisverse
ok and uhhhh? aslan leaving on the night before a battle w/o like....telling anyone? they wouldnt even have known he'd died if a dryad hadnt have been like "you'll never guess this shit." i guess omniscience or whatever. but for fucks sake, peter outranks everyone else in the army just because he's human? he doesn't know shit! you made him fight a wolf! whatever. why even put the humans in battle if you need them to live. whatever
susan and lucy of course have to witness this aslancide until they also witness this resurrection. cool. but the thing is that like? sure aslan couldve just flat out let edmund die, but besides the fact that theres the whole prophecy thing to mean that the kids need to live, but also, he was sort of backed into a corner re: having to die himself because of some technicality in narnia's rulebook? i get that this wasnt meant to be completely an allegory so much as just "gateway christianity drug" but wasnt the jesus bit supposed to be done just totally as a favor or whatever. aslan was sort of just strategizing as far as we know. like, is edmund representing The Sins Of All Humanity, or is he out here like "if jesus dying wouldve saved just one person it wouldve happened all the same"? either way, it makes it seem like aslan HAS to do this whole dying thing out of "so the world doesnt end" vs choosing to out of being cool abt it. i mean......not that uh jesus was supposed to have been psyched up abt his death. but you know what im getting at here. whatever, the Lore
again, the battle seems to be happening like, five miles from the witches house? coz everyone from the statues just makes the journey with aslan in one go. what are the scales here, lewis!!
aslan shows up in time to just kill the white witch himself, with his god lion teeth? how gross must that have been. also! he couldve done that at any time!!! but prophecy whatever sighhhhhhhh
its funny that lucy gets impatient with aslan for interrupting her moment of "can i make sure my brother isnt dead" and he gets impatient with her about that? shes in like preschool. also, you have healing powers!!!! so says uhhh.....the next book? or the one after. and anyone can use that magic elixer. and can you stop being so damn testy abt these childrens concerns for each other's lives!!!
theyre monarchs now, and aslan just fucks off. he couldve bothered to say goodbye, if people dont happen to see him meander off, how do they even know if he left or is just hanging around somewhere? seeing as he just snuck off overnight and died without letting anyone know. but more importantly he's again left this country entirely on its own save for these kids who know nothing except that they better be nice to each other or some random magical law might come into effect where someone gets to knock on their door and demand their kidneys or the world ends.
for real though! this is like, a country coming out of a crappy period and now in a wild transitional period and the only leaders are these kids who just showed up who have never been here before in their lives. how are they meant to manage a natl economy? its not mentioned here (is it) but theres an entire other racist-caricature-mashup of a country to the south already? how are they at diplomacy between two countries they know nothing abt. how will they form policies! they are 11! what tf is narnias infrastructure, beyond "sparse." where did the line to the throne go? was there always direct descendants to the first king in archenland, which by the way also exists with people in it b/c fuck you. i guess so...i forget where caspian comes from.
fun fact, when my sister and her friend went to disney world some yrs ago, they took a pic with a dude playing caspian a la the films, whom looked a lot like the actual actor, aka a total babe. its a great photo
anyways ummm. see the entire narnian govt just disappears? which i suppose they figure out when the four of them just leave and never come back. i suppose its lucky the narnians assumed it was magic and not regicide. because, if you live in narnia? fuck you. honestly what did they do in the aftermath. nobody nonhuman is even allowed to be a ruler. do they have like, other elevated positions? was there no regulation. coz thats alright but the series implies that narnia is always supposed to have a king around in order for things to go well. ok
so uh its govtless i guess until what, these people accidentally stumble upon a portal to narnia and become the telmarines who take over narnia? but not rightfully i guess, because even though theyre humans, they were probably insufficiently noble about it. or just not aslan-approved. honestly ok where tf did the calormenes come from? another portal? why did they restrict themselves to a certain region? why did narnia not encompass the entire world? why did you need to be white and english to be christian. i know this is a case of just introducing things that dont make sense but moving the story along before anyone asks questions but uh..........louie
Also How Tf Are These Kids Going From Grown Adult Monarchs To 10 Yr Old Schoolchildren In 1940s England Again over the course of like 10 seconds. before they left this clowns didnt even recognize the damn lantern! how do you forget that ever. ridiculous
where the "put in what you want and dont bother explaining it unles you feel like it" strategy is really fun is with that lantern, imo. on account of he just put it in as a Fuck You Buddy to tolkien, which is funny. good job
but really how are you not even going to devote a single sentence to that fucked up transition these kids? adults in kids bodies? kids with the memories of what it is like to have become and been adults until just a second ago? are going through. like...............ok. do they have to larp being normal children for a while. It's Magic, Fuck You
aslan is just.....kind of a jerk!
this book teaches you nothing
The Lore
the end
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Judging by picture-perfect, colorful squares on Instagram, the freedom of a travel lifestyle is presented as paradise – an endless parade of tropical breezes and fruity drinks, interspersed with exciting adventures that would make anyone envious. While travel is, indeed, amazing and life-changing and exhilarating and rewarding, social media paints an incomplete picture.
We have learned firsthand what living the life of travel entails. If you’re wondering if full-time travel is right for you – and if you’re ready for what actually awaits – here is what you can expect.
You will be out of your comfort zone
Whether you travel across the country or around the globe, the environment will be very different from what you’re used to. You won’t have the comfort of your own bed, the convenience of your familiar beauty products, or the nostalgia of your favorite foods. Kitchens won’t have the same appliances to which you’re accustomed, you might need to suffer cold showers, and depending on where you go, you’ll have to break the habit of flushing toilet paper.
Your phone won’t work the same way – if it works at all – and you’ll learn how much you’ve taken simple phone number dialing for granted. And good luck if you need to print anything (boarding passes, visas, tickets, etc.).
People will likely speak differently, even if they are fluent in your native language. Words with which you’re familiar could get buried in thick accents and local idioms. You might offend someone without even realizing it. I know we have on more than one occasion.
You will grow in ways you never expected
People so beautifully different from you will teach you things you never knew you never knew. You will learn new was to use your own language, and your communication skills will expand exponentially. You will learn bits and pieces of other languages. Stay long enough and apply yourself, and you could become fluent.
You will grow to love brand new ideas and gadgets from around the world, and you will adopt some of them into your own life and later wonder how you ever lived without them.
You will be come a problem solving master, and you will become stronger than you ever were before, having survived any number of unanticipated mishaps. This will make you a natural leader, as you’ll have the confidence of experience and the compassion of wanting to protect others from the worst of it.
You will learn how little you actually need, and you’ll grow to appreciate the freedom of minimalism.
The actual traveling can kind of suck
Buses and ferries and planes, oh my! Oh, and tuk tuks and cars and trains and rickshaws and scooters and bikes and taxis and good ‘ole fashioned walking! If you travel long enough, you’ll experience all of these (and more).
Travel days can be long and miserable, and they don’t always go smoothly. We saw cancelled flights (sometimes the morning of), and our barely touching Scotland consisted of a bus on windy roads with a pair of puking kids (trust me: not fun). We experienced long layovers, missed buses, wrong train stations, and even standing in the pouring rain at a bus door with insufficient fare in the correct currency – all with 50 lbs of carry-on luggage strapped to our front and back.
Even when the travel is uneventful, it’s exhausting, which is why we try to limit it or break it up as much as we can.
Nothing can compare to the thrill of stepping foot in a new place
But when we finally get there? I have the word, “strikhedonia” engraved into my travel ring for a reason. It means, “the love of striking out for a new destination,” and I certainly have that – bad.
When you stay in one place for long enough, you’ll find it begins to feel a bit like home. The longer you stay, the harder it’ll be to leave. But if you love travel as much as we do, then you know there’s no joy quite like the excitement of planning for and arriving in a new destination. So, much as we might sometimes dread the actual traveling, there are far too many new and enticing places to remain stationary for long.
You will long for your favorite foods
Aaron called this dish “kitty litter”
Do you love fresh veggies? Good luck getting those in the desert of Namibia. Addicted to bacon? You won’t find that in Muslim countries. And don’t expect to find much dairy in Southeast Asia (sorry, cheese lovers!).
We naturally couldn’t eat as healthily as we were used to (especially when tempted by local dishes), and we got very tired of rice with every meal (but it was easy and cheap wherever we went!). I had an absolute devil of a time trying to find dark chocolate anywhere in South America (though milk chocolate was readily available), and sorry, Europeans… you could use a lesson in what hot sauce actually is (hint: not slightly spicy ketchup). But I think I was most surprised by my cravings for kombucha on the road (which probably explains why I drank about a gallon of it upon our arrival back home).
Each country has its limitations, and it was a (not-so-)fun exercise to figure out what our meals would look like upon each relocation.
You will discover new tantalizing cuisines
But once you figure out what that exotic fruit actually is (and how to eat it), you won’t be able to stop! You will find spice combinations you can’t even identify, and the flavors will dance on your tastebuds and haunt your dreams as soon as you leave.
We absolutely love to eat, so we were excited to try all the local delicacies (though I don’t think I’d be brave enough to try bugs or scorpions or 100-year-old eggs). I couldn’t get enough of Turkish meatballs, and we had more Croatian fritule (fritters) than I’d care to admit. Italian lasagna, British fish ‘n chips, Argentinian empanadas, Namibian oryx steak….. my stomach is grumbling just thinking of it all!
And you can bring some of these recipes home with you to expand your own meal plans, letting the exotic tastes bring you back to your favorite countries without even leaving your kitchen.
Not everything will be as you expect
Tourism boards put every location in its best light to attract more visitors. The truth is you’re very unlikely to see that temple without a horde of screaming kids or that famous palace with the jaw-dropping sunset colors.
Everyone always raved about Amsterdam (they still do). But we just weren’t that impressed. It was crowded and just not as charming as Rotterdam or Delft.
We were excited to spend the holidays in Switzerland (c’mon.. Christmas and snow with that gorgeous scenery??), only to find out we miscalculated how far from the mountains the town of Basel really is.
The spires of Torres Del Paine is arguably THE reason we were determined to visit Patagonia. However, after a grueling hike, we arrived at a crowded glacial lake with dreary clouds obscuring the peaks. The lack of clear weather put a literal damper on the otherwise beautiful location.
If you set your expectations too high, some places are simply bound to disappoint.
Other moments will completely blow you away
Sure, Dublin was a rainy mess the entire time we were there, but the Irish pubs were exactly what we wanted, and we had far more fun than we expected! I simply couldn’t get enough of the Zadar sea organ – something I didn’t even know existed until we arrived. Omis was insanely beautiful, and it wasn’t even on our itinerary.
We had a sick kitty during a housesit in Montenegro, but we were thrilled to find the Kotor fortress was completely free of charge during our visit (yay, off-season!). We got the most incredible leopard encounter in Namibia. And we were left speechless with the sheer beauty of Fitz Roy after the somewhat lackluster Torres.
We live for these moments, and with time, they will be the ones you ultimately remember.
Something will go wrong
Word to the wise: do not attempt to plan out every detail of your travels. That is a recipe for disaster, as something will stray from your plans, derailing everything else you had lined up.
Aaron cataloging his stolen gear replacements
A park you want to visit might be closed the one day you’re in town. A strap of your pack could break. Lodging could fall through. Your bus might never show up.
We began our travels by being robbed, and we ended them amidst a pandemic. We certainly never planned for those things to happen. The robbery almost stopped our travels before they truly began, and the virus almost kept us abroad unwillingly.
In the end, flexibility is paramount; it’s the only thing that kept us sane.
You will accrue the most fascinating stories
We’ve obviously been through a lot, but it sure makes for some amazing conversation! While we were stressed and afraid and miserable in those situations as they were happening, we love to regale our battles to our friends (and you!) in the hopes that they find a lesson in them and avoid them, themselves.
These hardships will inevitably make you stronger, but they’ll also make you more interesting. We were always drawn to those who possessed epic tales; now we’re finding others are drawn to us.
You will miss your friends and family
I hate to be the one to break it to you: life goes on without you. Babies are born, people get married, barbecues and birthdays and holidays all keep happening. You will miss some milestones, and you will miss those closest to you.
We had to skip our favorite anime convention (yeah, we’re geeks). We missed countless hikes with our photo friends. And for the first time ever, I missed Christmas with my family.
But we also dearly missed our kitties. I’m so attached to them that I have crocheted tiny replicas to travel with us. And with an 18-year-old cat, we ran the very real risk of never seeing her again. Unfortunately, Skype just doesn’t replace purrs and nighttime cuddles.
You will meet incredible new friends
Fortunately, the world is a very large place, full of seven billion people – seven billion opportunities to make new friends. And leaving those with whom you are familiar will force you to fill that void with exciting new personalities, and you’ll never be lonely.
Some will barely touch your life – someone who’s there for only an instant and is quickly forgotten. Others will become the new best friend you never knew you were missing. You will influence and inspire those you meet, and those ripples will have a profound effect not only on those they know but also back on you.
A bartender in Chile. A tour guide in Germany. A pair of travel bloggers in Montenegro. A reader in the UK. A couple in the Netherlands. A family in Namibia. A couchsurfer in Ireland. A dog owner in Italy. We are forever changed because of them and so many others.
You will internalize in a way you never thought possible the fact that we are all human at heart. You will embrace the unique, and you will realize that those who have the least tend to be the most giving. You will never forget their kindness, and you will become a better person because of it.
You will get sick
Chances are, you’ve already experienced getting sick while on vacation. We don’t let ourselves fall ill when we have so much to do, so we sometimes crash as soon as we hop a plane and let our defenses down. Traveling longer only stacks the odds against you.
And let’s face it… You will be exposed to so many new environments so quickly, it’s only a matter of time before some new bug takes you down. Unless you were a military brat and/or ate Cheerios off the dining room floor as a kid (guilty), you probably don’t have an ironclad immune system. And if an airborne bug doesn’t do it, just wait until you meet Dehli Belly!
It will force you to slow down
If you travel anything like us, you want to pack as much as you possibly can into every moment. It’s so difficult to justify taking a break, because: when’s the next time you’ll be there?
But rest is just as important as adventure.
Slowing down lets you take in elements of a place you might otherwise miss entirely. Besides, longterm travel is a marathon – not a sprint!
You will get tired of traveling
The old adage says, “everything in moderation; too much of a good thing is bad.” No matter how much you love it, you will find days when you’re simply tired of traveling. You’ll long for the stability and comfort of your own bed and home, and you’ll want to just be done for a bit.
Slowing down and resting certainly helps in this department (see above), but every so often, even that won’t be enough. Try to maintain routines when you can, and work in “vacations” back home.
It will all be worth it
Travel is exciting, and it will forever change you. Sure, it might be uncomfortable sometimes, but you will look back on the memories and know you’ve truly lived. Perhaps you’ll go crazy being deprived of your favorite caramel lattes and bacon burgers, but the photos will remind you how incredible your life is. You will build unforgettable relationships, and you’ll be able to tackle so many more hurdles life throws at you in the future with ease.
You’ll know you’ve lived your best life, and you’d never want it any other way.
What harsh realities have you learned while traveling?
Like this post?
Every like, comment, and share helps us grow, travel more, and continue to share amazing stories like these with you!
Pin it for later!
Don’t miss out on new content!
Follow our blog for new snippets every day and full posts and videos every week.
Are You Prepared to be a Full-time Traveler? - #Fulltimetravel isn't all cocktails on the beach and exciting adventures. Sometimes it sucks. If you're considering it, know the truth before you dive in. #bigtinyworld #honesttruth Judging by picture-perfect, colorful squares on Instagram, the freedom of a travel lifestyle is presented as paradise - an endless parade of tropical breezes and fruity drinks, interspersed with exciting adventures that would make anyone envious.
0 notes
Text
Ok, so this is literally straight off of like a rom com or a fanfic I swear, bear with me because when I tell a story I really tell it but read it it’s worth it, and it is a 100% a real story somehow. Okay, so I work at Turkey’s Embassy in my home country as basically the secretary / translator because she can’t speak Spanish that well but she is great in English so I translate for her whenever she can’t get the words right.
So she called a press conference to speak about the Turkish Operation in Syria yesterday, I was in a horrible mood already and then I was in an even worse mood because I would have to deal with the reporters. And it only got worse because the internet company fucked up the wiring and I was basically the whole afternoon bitching to them on the phone for them to fix it.
So, press conference time comes, and I’m still fighting on the phone, and the reporters start to get to the office so like the smart little bean I am I decide to take my phone fight outside to you know end it already because I had work to do. And I’m fighting out in the hallway and the most beautiful specimen comes in dressed all cool and with some dope ass glasses, like literally my first thought is he looks exactly like Darren Criss in American Crime Story, and I’m fighting like a maniac but he’s gorgeous and I have to go on secretary mode and I could feel my whole face change into a genuine real smile. My bitch ass is like “hiii :D” exactly like that and he is like “hey *cool guy emoji*” and I just go like “can i offer you anything to drink?” and he is like “Just a water please” and first my mind goes “fukc fuck fuck he’s spanish he’s from spain he’s fucking foreing and has an accent” but outside I go like “do reporters not like coffee or something?” because everyone else also asked for water, and immediately regret it because i’m a fucking secretary i cant speak to people like that but he just laughs and goes like “no i like it but i just had one sorry” and im like in love but like I have to finish my phone call so I just go “oK i’ll bring it for you” and go into the kitchen continuing my phone call.
I finally finish screaming at people over the phone and i bring in the waters for everyone. For context, the conference was held at an oval table, i was sitting diagonally from him, next to the Ambassador. We’re all discussing Turkey and the Ambassador and stuff waiting for some more people, and I sit texting the electricist for him to come in the morning to help me with the internet guys and cute guy (btw the only one younger that 40 in this room, let alone the only 20 something year old) is looking at me and I know he was looking at me because then he moved to look at the Ambassador and fUcK i wanted to fuck him so bad.
And it’s weird for me because I don’t like just anyone, and I never feel connections like that. Ever. But I just met the guy and there is something that is drawing me to him, and he is asking the Ambassador all these questions and he is so smart and his accent is so hot and Im doing my best not to lose it.
The conference starts and it ends, and I can clearly tell he is very against the operation still because of the questions, which I love because so smart and skeptical and just my type. And he seems so passionate and fuck, passion is so fucking attractive.
So the questions end and the Ambassador says goodbye and I have to ask for all of their contact info for the future and to ask for the pictures, and the articles once they’re done. Obviously everyone is like yeah yeah and they give it to me, but not him no no. He goes “well that depends are you going to call me or text me” and hes all like smug but not but like yes but no? and i go “huh what?” for a sec and he goes “i’ll just give you my two numbers they are” and he said them right.
And like, I’m already in love with this guy, he could tell me die and I’d ask how do you want me to die baby.
They leave and im in a great mood already bc i got to see a cute guy (bear in my for the past two months my job has literally taken over my life i barely ever go out and i dont talk to any guys anymore bc im exhausted and i didn’t like them that much) and somehow said cute guy actually made me excited to be alive again(?). So im already content, but I have to go pee because I had been drinking water and so I go out and into the hallway where tbe bathroom is and he is leaning AGainSt the wAlL and im like ok ok ok be cool dont be a stalker so I just smile and go to look at my phone while I wait for the guy in the bathroom to come out but cute guy starts talking to me he goes “how long have you been working here?” and my dumb ass goes “a long time” and then i realize what i said and i start to correct my slef “well not really just two months bla bla” and i start rambling and he is smiling and asking me questions and answering mine and we had the loveliest talk for like 5 minutes maybe and for one in my life small talk was so easy and fun and i wanted to keep on talking to him but then the photographer from his agency came out from the bathroom and he said goodbye and they both left.
This morning I texted all the reporters that came to the press conference to ask for pictures etcetera and to give them my contact info because yesterday I only got theirs (most of them had cards except for cute guy and one of the photographers) and well when I texted cute guy we sort of started talking (?) and he is so funny and also i might have cyber stalked him and he is super into indigenous people’s rights like he is obviously VERY passionate about it and he writes about i juestices like that a lot and like bitch all my life the only type of charity i’ve done i work with indigenous groups because my mom and grandpa are all about helping them without changing their customs just making life better for them with food and helping build hoyses and making celebrations for the kids and like I might be crazy and just super lonely but I genuinely think that the reason I feel so connected to him might be that i dunno we are like meant to be or something and thats hard to write bc i don’t believe in that but i honestly dont know how to feel, like im still excited about life and haven’t even gotten too tired or bored to respond and i haven’t wanted to quit all day (usually i want to quit like 8 times a day) and it’s just weird i dunno but we’ll see what happens i’ll keep you guys posted.
#about me#fanfic tropes#i swear#like a fucking#rom com trope#or some shit#text post#storytime#i guess#true love shit
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
vivziepop
Chocolate Salmon Milk: Vivz Blog
aylierose
Makeup, Beauty & Lifestyle
dittohasadhd
dittohasadhd
cornelius-brown-blog
The Prankster
