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teecupangel · 1 year

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Desmond when he's dying: This would've never happened if I was just a pigeon.

Desmond: *Becomes a pigeon in the next life*

Introducing Desmond the Assassins suspiciously long-living pigeon.

(I love this for the sole purpose that turning Desmond into an eagle would have been the most obvious choice but you, nonny, deliberately turned him into a pigeon which is hilarious. Alright, let’s make Desmond’s pigeon life super weird)

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When Desmond woke up as a freaking pigeon, he was annoyed at himself. If he knew he could have been anything, he would have picked an eagle or even a freaking cat.

But nooooo. He just had to think he wanted to be a pigeon of all things.

Goddamn it.

Well, no use bemoaning his own cursed life.

He should get high up and see where the hell he was because this open sky was definitely not the Grand Temple.

…

Soooooo… how was he supposed to fly?

Just… flap his wings?

Flap

Fuck.

It wasn’t working.

Okay.

Maybe he just needed… momentum. Yeah, momentum might help?

So Desmond took a few step-

Sigh.

Desmond took a few hops back before running straight ahead into the edge of the roof where he had woken up on, flapping his wings the entire time and…

Yes! He was flying.

Holy shit, he was flying.

Wait.

Nope.

He was gliding.

He was fucking gliding and he was going down fast.

Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohf-

Slam.

Feathers flew everywhere as he smacked straight to a wall.

As if that wasn’t humiliating enough, he began to skid down, falling into the grassy ground with a pathetic thud.

A shadow appeared over him but he didn’t move.

He could feel one of his wings was now broken.

But more importantly, he was too embarrassed by that pathetic attempt at flying that he’d rather lie down on the ground for a while and contemplate just letting this bird life die out here.

“Are you dead, little one?” A voice that cracked at random asked and Desmond kept his eyes closed in total defeat.

He would like to say ‘yeah, pretty much’ and also 'uh, rude?' but it only came out as a sad cooing sound.

“It’s alright.” He felt hands grab him a bit too roughly, making him let out a pathetic cooing sound once more and the hands lessened their grip. He was cradled into someone’s arms and he was bounced lightly as the person carrying him began to run.

When he finally opened his eyes once more, he blinked when he recognized the gates ahead of them.

The front gates of Masyaf…

He was in Masyaf…

And it wasn’t the Masyaf that he had been in pictures after he heard from Shaun that Masyaf was under Abstergo’s control.

No.

This was the Masyaf he was familiar with.

This was-

“Altaïr.”

The teenager holding him stopped running and held him close as a…

Holy shit.

Was that Al Mualim?

He looked…

Young… ish.

“We had been worried. You shouldn’t leave the training ring without being dismissed.” Al Mualim said in a kind fatherly voice that made Desmond immediately want to peck him.

“I’m sorry, master. It’s just…” The teenager (holy shit, it was Altaïr. Not only that… it was Altaïr with a cracking voice! Desmond couldn’t stop himself from finding this amusing) raised his arms slightly to show Desmond who tried to glare at Al Mualim as a pigeon, “This little one broke its wing when it was trying to fly. I figured the healers might be able to do something about it.”

Al Mualim stared at Desmond for a moment before his eyes softened, “Very well. You’re dismissed today, Altaïr. Have the healers check the pigeon but…”

Al Mualim placed a hand on Altaïr’s shoulder and said, “Do not get your hopes up. Sometimes, it is impossible to fix a thing that is too broken already.”

Altaïr’s hold on Desmond tightened just a bit as he said quietly, “I understand, master.”

Desmond let out a cooing “yeah, fuck you too, asshole” that Al Mualim didn’t respond to, which made sense, since Desmond was now a fucking pigeon.

Ugh.

He just knew this new life of his was going to be a pain.

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(More of an idea summary)

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Altaïr

Desmond spends most of pre-AC1 getting treated for his broken wing and trying to learn how to fly afterward. The recruits and novices like him because he doesn’t act like a normal bird and likes to screech whenever Altaïr tries to leave him (in his defense, he was a grounded bird in a place that likes to find ‘alternative’ uses for stuff they can’t use and he can only think of one way to use a flightless bird who can’t even deliver messages).

He likes sitting on Altaïr’s shoulder. Whenever Abbas is nearby and being annoyed, he uses his minimal ‘flying’ skills to reach Abbas and peck him until he falls (Altaïr is always there to catch him). Because of this, Desmond got a hang of gliding and swooping (the falling is, unfortunately, still his greatest nemesis).

Abbas once threatened to cook Desmond and he almost got his eye pecked out because of it. (then received a very descriptive morbid detail of what Altaïr plans to do to him if he ever just as much try to pluck any of Desmond's feather)

Desmond will not, under any circumstances, eat worms. Kadar is the one who finds out Desmond likes fruits. Altaïr says Desmond is getting fat from all the fruits Kadar is giving him but Desmond pecks him. After that, Altaïr just gives Desmond a disappointed glare every time he sees Desmond eating the fruits Kadar brings him (who likes seeing him eat because Desmond makes this little sweet cooing sounds when he eats).

Malik secretly gives a bit of his own food whenever Altaïr is away because Desmond likes staying with him whenever Altaïr is busy. Malik never tells Altaïr about it and Desmond is a bird so it’s not like he can tattletale on him. However, Desmond’s soft spot for Malik makes Altaïr and Malik have a ‘nicer’ relationship… sorta.

Desmond finally learns to fly during Altaïr’s ‘punishment’. He saw Altaïr being chased by guards after killing one of the nines (maybe Garnier?) and he just… swoopes in to peck the guards to give Altaïr a chance to escape.

Maria is the one who actually asks outright why nobody is asking why this pigeon is still alive? Altaïr just says that it might be connected to the Apple of Eden because it does light up whenever Desmond touches it with his talons (Desmond doesn’t feel anything. It literally just lights up like a touch-activated lightbulb and Desmond is both disappointed and amused at the same time. He uses it to tell Altaïr he's been studying the Apple for too long and he needs to take a break.)

Darim likes giving him fruits too but he stops when Sef was born because he wants to be seen as a responsible big brother. Sef, on the other hand, loves Desmond and plays with him a lot. Desmond becomes an unofficial babysitter because everyone just agrees that the POE must have done something to his brain. That’s the only explanation they could think of as to why Desmond acts so intelligent. Desmond questions everyone's sanity for letting a bird babysit two children.

On the other hand, any time Desmond tries to actually communicate to someone by trying to write on the sand or that one incident where he tipped the ink bottle and used it to make some kind of ‘hand writing’, his words always end up gibberish and Desmond isn’t sure if ‘something’ is making him unable to write properly OR if there was some kind of human speech to bird language thing going on in his mind and that’s why he understands everyone but that shit doesn’t work when he’s trying to write his bird language. (Although, he can’t communicate with any other animals anyway)

Desmond stays with Sef when Altaïr and the other go to assassinate Genghis Khan. At this point, Desmond is a freaking master in bird stealth and manages to find incriminating documents that shows Abbas was planning a coup (Abbas and his cohorts got sloppy now that Altaïr was away). The coup was unsuccessful and Sef and Malik lived. (because fuck canon)

Desmond stays with the Ibn-La’Ahad bloodline (especially Sef’s bloodline) until something inside him suddenly calls to him, creating a golden thread-like mist that only he can see.

Having a feeling of where it was going to take him, Desmond only leaves after staying with his last ‘owner’ until her dying breath.

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Ezio

When Desmond gets to Italia, Ezio has just been born.

He stays by the window and watches Ezio. The maids tried to shoo him away whenever they see him. Giovanni sees him at least twice but just thought he was a normal bird.

Ezio grew up seeing him as his guardian angel (“Your guardian angel is a pigeon?” “At least I can see mine!”) and that idea only solidified when he was a teenager who just learned pigeons are not supposed to live this long.

However, Desmond keeps his distance because he knows that people would find it weird (and maybe even the devil’s work) if Ezio has a pet pigeon who is still alive after all these years.

He does, however, always fly near Ezio whenever he used the rooftops and stays with him if they’re in a hiding spot or really high up.

This, inadvertently, helps Ezio be better at freerunning and climbing (and stealth) before that fateful day.

On that fateful day, Desmond leaves Ezio to warn the Auditores by squawking really loudly on the rooftop until Federico had enough and went up to see what has Ezio’s guardian angel all squawking up a storm when it was usually silent. Federico sees the guards coming towards the Palazzo and alerts his father because Desmond made a show of diving in and getting one of the wanted paper that they all had to identify the Auditores and giving it to Federico with a flapping motion that says “run, fucking run!!!”

The Auditores don’t get captured but they had to go into hiding instead. Giovanni tries to talk to his friend Uberto Alberti about this with the evidence but Desmond is not having any of that. Federico is stuck because he’s been ordered to protect his family but Ezio was still out in Firenze so Desmond goes to him and takes him to Giovanni.

Ezio gets there in time to see his father being cornered by guards and he and Desmond helps Giovanni get out.

Unfortunately, the only thing that shows that the Auditores were innocent was with Uberti and he had burned it in front of Giovanni for dramatic effect and because he isn’t stupid.

Left with no choice, the Auditore family leaves Firenze to seek shelter in Monteriggioni.

(Altaïr’s statue has a pigeon on his shoulder and Desmond tries to get Ezio to realize that he’s the pigeon by sitting next to his pigeon statue and mimicking the puffed-up pose. Ezio just chuckles and says “Yes, angelo mio, you are more beautiful than Altaïr’s pigeon”)

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(Okay, that’s as far as I got. If anyone wants me to do a semi-summary/semi-fic continuation of the Kenway soap opera, Arno and the Frye twins, let me know XD)

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(Unorganized ideas)

There is no eagle connection ala Layla Trilogy between Desmond and any of his ‘owners’. He's literally just a pigeon with a long lifespan.

Sef once pinched a feather from Desmond without his approval because he dropped the feather that the Rafiq gave him, Desmond pecked him in the ear the entire time they were back in the bureau and the Rafiq just looked at him with an expression of ‘Do you really think I don’t know the difference between a pigeon’s feather and an eagle’s feather? Bitch, I’ve been Rafiq longer than you’ve been alive.’ but only takes the feather silently while Sef grins at him. It took lots of fruits for Desmond to stop being angry at him (and Sef knew he fucked up because the moment they returned to Masyaf, Desmond sat on Darim’s shoulder with his back turned, making Darim go “What did you do now, Sef?” in that tired older brother tone that he has used so many times by now)

Petruccio absolutely believes Desmond is Ezio’s guardian angel. Claudia and Federico didn’t until Desmond helped them escape

#desmond as an ageless pigeon #semi-short fic semi-idea rambling #... soooo business as usual i guess?#ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #altaïr ibn la'ahad #kadar al sayf #malik al sayf #darim ibn la'ahad #sef ibn la'ahad #ezio auditore #federico auditore #giovanni auditore #teecup writes/has a plot

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