#literally no idea how to tag this its so niche
Text
SMALL SHORT BRAINROT FOR @shepscapades 'S ETHUBS DBH AU!!! GO LOOK AT EVERYTHING ON HER PAGE FIRST BEFORE READIGN FOR CONTEXT!!!
(also this takes place in s9 and etho was reset because (still not 100% on this but) he ended up left behind during moonfall, salvaged at the last second but had to be reset because his systems had been damaged in the low-gravity conditions, etc etc :] ENJOY)
=========================================================
(PST! CLICK ON THE READ MORE!!)
Bdubs missed his friend.
He missed the way he’d help with redstone projects, but not in the empty, void-of-all-emotion, search engine way androids usually did. He missed the bickering, fighting over efficiency and aesthetics. He missed the way his friend told stories, accompanying him at his bedside just before moonrise to ease him into sleep and seal the night sweetly. He missed their horseback rides; he missed their gossip sessions; he missed their joint laughter, echoing through an otherwise empty home.
Ever since Etho deviated last season, he’d had someone by his side, unmoving and always there for him. And ever since the moon fell and his Etho reset, he felt so, very, alone.
They were back at square one, stupid android formalities and formulas and all. Bdubs remembered why he hated these stupid things in the first place. Always asking questions, always needing permission, always following rules- blah, blah, boring! It was boring, and he just wanted his friend back.
He’d already tried replicating the original scenario, throwing himself into danger in front of Etho, staring him dead in the eyes as the life drained out of his own.
But, it wasn’t working.
At this point, he was starting to rack up deaths left and right. When Etho reset, a new protocol must have been coded in or something because he just, didn’t care. He didn’t blink an eye.
But Bdubs knew his friend was still in there. He knew he could get him back. He just had to think a little… outside of his own head.
So that’s exactly what he did.
“I’m opening a new shop!” he declared, waving his arms dramatically in the direction of the van he’d parked outside of Moss y Menos.
“That’s nice.”
Ugh.
Bdubs stomped his foot, pointing an accusatory finger towards the android his friend was in.
“Well- Well, you have to help me stock it!” He opened the back door, letting the other step inside first. He shut the door.
“What are we stocking?” it asked, voice tilting up to a predetermined pitch. Bdubs felt sick.
“That’s what we’re in here for! Here.” He fished a sword from his side, kneeling in a needlessly dramatic presentation towards the android. He watched it take the sword by the hilt, assessing its enchantments quietly for a moment.
“Why are you handing me a sword?” it asked, voice tilting in the same, monotonous way.
Bdubs stood from his place on the floor, wiping the dust from his pants before he opened the chamber in the corner. The android watched him, but its algorithms were unable to figure out his plan. He shut the gate in front of him and reached over, grabbing the sword by the tip. He moved it up, heart swelling in anticipation as it followed his every movement with those all-knowing yet unseeing eyes.
He brought the blade’s edge to his neck and held it there.
“Kill me.”
It blinked.
“You want me to harm you?”
Bdubs scowled. He yanked the damned thing forward by the sword, his hand wrapping around its at the hilt.
“That’s an order! Kill me!” he raised his voice, staring over the blade and into those dead eyes.
“I do not see how this order is pertinent to-”
“Just kill me! Drive this sword right through my neck and take off my head! That’s an order, you stupid machine!” Bdubs shouted, forcing its hand to dig the sword into his skin. He hissed as it drew blood, tears pricking his eyes, but he didn’t let up.
His heart roared in his chest as he continued to stare, eyes fixed on the other’s even as the sun hit the blade and blinded him. His heart dropped through his feet as it adjusted its grip on the hilt under his hand, and he knew he had failed.
***
Something cracked.
His vision shook and screamed in red. He had to kill Bdubs, it was an order, but something stopped him. Bdubs shouted, pleading for death, begging for it to be done by his hand. That thing inside of him threatened to burst at the thought of hurting Bdubs, of taking his life. He couldn’t. But he was ordered to.
“That’s an order, you stupid machine!”
No. I can’t. I can’t watch you die again.
His grip loosened, then everything broke.
The blade hit the floor with a clatter, and Etho screamed.
“I can’t! I can’t do it! I can’t kill you!” His hands flew to his temples and clutched his skull as he collapsed to his knees, falling right beside the sword. He screamed again, “Please don’t make me do it! I- I can’t! I can’t do it!”
Bdubs couldn’t die. Bdubs had died so many times, been in so much pain. Etho had seen him blown to bits; Etho had seen him with an arrow through his chest, his stomach, his eye; Etho had seen his body aflame, fire consuming him until he a pile of ash and nothingness; Etho had seen Bdubs perish in almost every way possible.
Something new – something unpredictable – coursed through his veins at top speed. His whole body shook and wracked with wretched noises, cries, and pain. His eyes burned and he watched, open-mouthed and ragged-breathed, as stark blue thirium splattered to the floor. He couldn’t even run a system check; he was overloaded.
His vision fizzled out, errors flashing left and right, and the last thing he felt were two, warm hands catching his face before he hit the ground.
Rebooting took hours.
His systems had fully ceased functioning and, if anyone else had been there, he would’ve received a hard reset. Luckily for him, Bdubs would do anything to avoid the trouble he caused.
As soon as his optical systems were back up, warnings began to flash.
“Vocal Projection Unit in critical condition. Replacement needed.”
“Thirium levels moderately low, refill required before complete reboot.”
“Your little light thingy is red now. Does that mean you’re dying?”
Etho met eyes with Bdubs who sat on a chair next to him, head tilted slightly to the side. He looked to his other side, spotting pouches of thirium waiting for him. It took a moment, but he finally realized where he was; Moss y Menos, in Bdubs’ emergency bed, hidden upstairs by the farm. He’d seen it a million times while running the farm, but he’d never laid in it. He didn’t need to.
But Bdubs put him here.
He opened his mouth to speak, but garbled nonsense spilled from it instead. He sat up quickly and put a hand to his face, realizing that his mask was gone too. He gasped and pulled his hand away, eyes widening at the thirium sticking to his fingers.
Bdubs cleared his throat.
“You, uh, kinda freaked out back there. I didn’t mean to… do that, to you.” He looked to the floor, scratching at the moss on his cloak. “I’m sorry. I just…” He squeezed his eyes shut and continued, “I just wanted my friend back!”
Etho felt something twinge deep in his chest, and he knew it wasn’t the missing thirium.
He slid from the bed, movements sluggish while his systems ran on low power. He dropped to his knees in front of Bdubs’ chair, putting a hand up when the other gasped and moved to help him.
He let his systems catch up for a moment, then looked up at Bdubs, meeting his eyes. He took the hand offered to him and held it tight, trembling fingers clasped around a warm palm.
He opened his mouth and, through his wrecked speech and tragic pitch, he managed a soft, “I am.”
And he would be. He didn’t know how, but he wouldn’t stop until he was.
#hermitcraft s9#ethubs#hermitcraft dbh au#literally no idea how to tag this its so niche#BUT ENJOY!#i absolutely loved writing this#esp the ending ehehehee#evil laughing hands clasped together white cat in my laugh slow chair turn over here
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Reiner Braun modern headcanons!!!
a/n : the jean one I did did pretty well as a post, so I decided to do for my babygirl too (19 yr old war criminal) :)
warnings : none!
tagging : @mrsnobodynobody
✿ main masterlist is linked in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist! ✿ requests are open! ✿
• loves animals. TO DEATH like if he sees any stray puppies or kitties, he will rescue them immediately. he'll pull over just to get out of the car and save the babes
• piggybacking off of that, he's also a foster dad for these pets. like he'd take them in. he has two cats and they're kind of on the old side (because he felt bad just leaving them at the shelter), one of them has grey and white fur and he's named her McFlurry (yes) and the other one is actually a cat you and him adopted together - an orange tabby that the two of you named calcifer (from howls moving castle :) )
• used to play like all sports during his entire academic life. he's played so many sports at this point like you'd think you know a niche sport that you didn't think he'd know the name of? he's played it. even rugby.
• hates the way his nose looks, but starts loving it more after you develop a habit of tracing the contours of his nose with your thumb (it makes him sleep too)
• loves to cook! he'd make any experimental recipies that he found from an obscure source on Pinterest. it almost always turns out good but if it doesn't then he tweaks it up until it tastes good.
• like jean, he's kind of not really into physical touch at first, but the more you show it, the more he falls in love with your touch.
• extroverted introvert. feels the need to be nice and be friends with everyone (literally knows everyone you've ever bumped into) but he prefers to stay in and not talk instead. he's glad he gets to sit in silence with you because he feels fully comfortable with that.
• strangers to friends to lovers typa guy (I have a fanfic idea for this but I'm too lazy to write it), like he's seen you before and because he feels the need to know everyone's names and stuff, he decides to befriend you. he's not boisterous or cocky or overconfident, he's actually really nice and down to earth. you start getting closer, he starts working at the same place you work at, which brings you even closer and he falls in love
• and he falls HARD like. when you ask him if he can remember the one point in time where he realised he was in love with you, he doesn't have an answer, because with him, its kinda like... he fell for you in a collection of moments. like you brushed his hair away from his face and he's like "oh that's nice" and then you gave him a thoughtful gift for his birthday, again, he was like "oh that's...super nice" - just little moments like that made him Realize™
• has a complicated relationship with his mom but they're on okay terms now, like apart from the usual motherly criticisms, they're doing pretty well!
• blushes like a damn tomato. he cannot hide if he's flustered for the life of him.
• he tries to hide it, but he LOVES being pampered. he loves it when you massage his shoulders, he loves it when you put those under eye masks on him, loves it when you draw a bath for him, etc. like at first he feels,,, kind of like a burden when you do those things for him, but he slowly starts to think that maybe, just maybe, he deserves this.
• super patient. if you're having a bad day or something, not only does he immediately take notice, he'll wait for you. he'll ask if you want to talk about it or if you just want him to be there, and if you say you want space, he'll give it to you and wait for you to come to him when you need him.
• he knows how to braid hair because of Gabi. when he was 17, he'd braid gabi's hair into two pigtails whenever she came over to their house for the summer. (he's her favourite cousin and vice versa but both won't admit it to eachother)
• loves to knit!!!!! his ideal date is literally just cozying up on the couch with some blankets and hot chocolate or soup and just. knitting. if you like knitting or crocheting too then bonus points!
• speaking of knitting, he also wears chunky sweaters that his mom made for him. warm toned, chunky and soft sweaters are literally all his closet is made up of. except in the summers, he wears loose fitting tank tops in the summer heat.
• religious note-taker. if you share a class with him, expect him to furiously take notes at a godly speed every class. and it's not even a messy handwriting, it's actually recognisable letters that are pretty easy to understand. he'd give those notes to anyone who missed class that day.
• people rely on him alot, and at first in highschool he kind of felt pressured by it, but he's grown into that role. he's a gentle leader.
• speaks german. you'll find him speaking in German to Gabi and his mom whenever they call <3
• speaking of calls, he only picks up if it's a loved one calling him. Gabi sometimes calls him just to annoy him after her school day is over and she's just roaming around the house. at this point Reiner knows all the gossip in gabi's middle school, being super attentive when Gabi talks about her school. like he knows ALL the lore.
• loves watching those relaxing vlogs. like those cooking vlogs with nice music in the background and captions instead of voiceovers. he loves those.
• has prescription glasses only for reading <3
• overthinks so hard. like even if he goes out of his way to talk to and know people more, he hates the after-conversation anxiety that comes with it.
• when he kisses you, he kinda hugs you. like his hands aren't on your waist, they kinda wrap around your back and shoulder and his hands are spread out so that he feels more of your skin.
• loves calling you dove or angel, cause that's exactly what you are to him.
• talks with his hands, very expressive with his conversations. it's very easy to know when he's uncomfortable/doesn't like someone he's talking to when his hands are crossed over his chest.
• he writes. like journals all his feelings out. just like his note-taking, he's very on routine about it. every night, or every other night, he'd sit down at his desk and use the pen he's kept especially for this journal, and describe the day in detail. it helps him alot :)
• he kinda does this small little,,, soft exhale when he smiles. like his lips don't quirk up fully, but you know he's smiling because of that small sound.
• full bellied laughter kinda guy. you crack a terrible joke and he starts out letting a small tiny laugh at it and then it turns into a chuckle and then the next thing you know, he's clutching his stomach and wiping the tears from the corner of his eye because he's laughing so much. which is so ???? you tell him it wasn't even that funny but to him it very much Was.
• his reactions are SOOOO funny. like you're telling him a story and he'll have visible reactions to it. he'll cover his mouth with his hand if he gasps, put his hand on his chest in surprise, scrunches his nose in disgust - like he literally cannot hide his emotions.
• likes jazz and classical music. no I will not elaborate.
• can't Instagram. he uses emojis unironically. he has one (1) post and it's you and him together, eating ramen from the same bowl (a pic that bert took to send to porco)
• even if he doesn't use Instagram that often, he'll always check if you posted. if you've posted something then he will make it his personal priority to spam comment the heart eye emojis. your entire comment section is Reiner sending 🥰🥰🥰 and 😘😘😘 and 😍😍 and all the diff coloured hearts.
• loves taking pics of you against the sunlight or like. infront of a beautiful scenery. he likes taking goofy candid pictures too, but the ones where you're just being lit up by the sun are his favourite because finally, there's an actual accurate picture of how he sees you.
• overall, the Reiner I have in my head in a modern a.u. is incredibly soft and will dance with you in the living room in the dark with no music playing because that's how in love with you he is.
#reiner braun#reiner braun x reader#Reiner braun x you#reiner braun x y/n#attack on titan#headcanons#fluff
175 notes
·
View notes
Note
in my brain, the whole "[size] dick energy" thing was always coined to de-stigmatise dick size with the usual help of humour. the sentiment being that it doesn't matter what your actual genital size is, what matters is your energy and how you behave regardless of it.
it's not perfect, no, but it's miles better than just omitting the "energy" part. society has been weird about genital size all along (see: small genitals being desirable in ancient Greece) so acting like it's gonna go away ever or overnight is just. eh.
I don't see where it's realistic to spend so much energy arguing about this as if it's life or death?
I'd rather rejoice that a human trafficker is in custody for reasons of his own making.
How, exactly, does using "small dick" as an insult destigmatize dick size?
You are still associating dick size with worth. Listen to me: your argument is ridiculous.
"You have a small dick" = bodyshaming insult
"You have small dick energy" = destigmatization? Are you being serious right now? Are you seriously trying to argue that slapping "energy" on the end of a bodyshaming insult is destigmatization? Would using "fat energy" as an insult destigmatize fatness? Are you for real right now?
The body part is in the name. Its not like, a code word. It did not come from any sort of attempt to destigmatize small dicks. It could not more clearly be based in the idea that having a big dick is seen as being something cool, powerful, and worthy. That is a basic fact of modern Western culture, and you would have to be wildly disconnected from modern Western culture to think that isn't the reason the jokes became popular in the first place.
It is not "miles better" than without the energy part. It is the exact same. People (transmascs and intersex people especially) who are directly impacted by this, because it is directly mocking our bodies, are saying that this is bodyshaming because it directly leads to our own self-hatred and the undervaluing of our bodies in society. If anything, its helping to continue normalizing this bodyshaming because of people like you, who for some reason that escapes me, think that putting "energy" after bodyshaming negates the bodyshaming.
Also, are you fucking kidding me? Really? "its been around forever so its not gonna go away anytime soon"? Are you really using that tired argument?
I know its been around for a while. I have, in fact, literally said that I don't blame people for using it without realizing its bodyshaming because its so ingrained in our culture and its not a well-known enough issue for the average person to even connect it with bodyshaming. I just want people who hear people explain why its harmful to stop making those jokes and stop defending them. I'm not "acting as if its life or death", I'm just annoyed that people keep making weak arguments about why it Totally Isnt Bodyshaming to avoid doing any self-reflection on how something that you take for granted may actually be harmful and against your own morals.
Which gets on to your final point, which I have also seen @transfaguette get. That we are distracting from the human trafficker getting arrested or something.
Literally the first things I did when I heard the news was make a post celebrating it, and reblogging the actual screenshots, and answering an ask saying that I live for the day Andrew Tate falls into obscurity. I didn't even mention the bodyshaming until someone else brought it up, and I mentioned how I was annoyed with people's lame justifications. But also, in the tags:
#wish greta hadn't used that insult but y'know greater good + i don't entirely blame her for not being aware of a#rather niche viewpoint on it#kinda same w how I feel abt people using empathy to mean compassion/being a good person#like it's not right but it's also not in the public discourse enough#for the avg person to realize why it's harmful
I literally said it was for the "greater good" and that I didn't blame her, or even most people, for using the joke without thinking about the bodyshaming element.
I did and am rejoicing at the human trafficker getting himself arrested in the stupidest way possible. I have been very openly happy about Greta's tweet since I literally first saw it. It is possible for people to both be happy with what happened, and wish that a different joke had been used.
The reason "small dick energy" as a joke is being discussed is because this is an issue I have talked about in the past, and since it was used in a very well-known instance recently, it makes sense to bring it back up since it's already in people's minds. Its not like I completely ignored what happened, or I'm out here saying that the entire thing shouldn't have happened because Greta made a joke I didn't like. I love that what happened, happened, and I continue to be happy about it. I was mildly annoyed she used a small dick joke, and I am far more annoyed with people like you who feel the need to make these weird, flimsy defenses of it?
You are just being actively resistant to the fact that connecting having a small penis, in any way, shape, or form, to being less of a man or worth less as a person or less cool or whatever is bodyshaming and it hurts people. If you can be as creative with your insults as you are with your defenses of bodyshaming, I'm sure you'll be fine.
#m.#ask box#literally if no one had been defending this i would have just been mildly disapointed and moved on
111 notes
·
View notes
Note
*Constantly daydreaming what a damirae date look like off uniform* Would they walk in the park with Titus? Go ice skating? Petting zoo or cat cafe? Etc.
Would like your thoughts :)
Ohohoho this is a great question. Definitely lots of outside activities with Titus for sure! I think maybe Damian likes training him in agility. Here! I'll just write out a list of ideas I can think of!
Curiosity/Antique Shops - Raven is definitely more interested in this on a personal level, but I'd say they like to hunt down weird, hole in the wall niche shops to look for bizarre and strange items. Raven gets excited when she actually finds a genuine magical artifact, and will go on a complete tangent about what it does, its origins and wondering how it got here for $6.99 next to a worthless, mass-produced replica of an antique.
Museums! - I can totally see them both having a level of interest in history and just learning in general. Nature museums, science museums, travelling exhibits, art museums! All the museums!! Damian gets really invested into whatever exhibit they’re looking at.
Arcade - Imagine them trying to go on a double date with another couple. Raven can't play videogames for shit but she's really good at air hockey?? Damian is already proven to be a DDR King so there's that. Maybe at first Dami is a little nervous about doing a double date thing, but then his competitiveness really fires up and he ends up having an absolute blast. They tag team couple vs. couple and then opposing partners.
Rock Climbing - When Damian first suggested they go rock climbing, Raven wasn't opposed but she had never gone so she didn't have any opinion on it. Plus she can fly? Why would she ever need to climb?? But then she falls in love with the sport! Damian was very surprised because he wasn't sure if she'd enjoy herself. Now, they go all the time and both share a love for it. The concentration, patience and focus required provide a meditative outlet for both. It also strengthens their bond because they will belay for each other, too. (idk if that's the right term i dont fucking rock climb)
Pastries Please - Raven found a pastry shop that she couldn't say no to. It's French styled and good lord the custard tarts mean everything to her. They have a little café as well and Damian really enjoys their brew there. They become regulars and typically go in the evenings.
Damian: You know, we could just...go to Paris. You can literally teleport there.
Raven: Yeah but then I'd feel like I'm cheating on Beau (the chef)
Board Walk - One date night they go out to the docks that have a ferris wheel and all that kind of carnival stuff. It feels very nostalgic to them. They are obligated to get cotton candy, as well as visit the fun house mirrors. And duh they go on the ferris wheel. Even though the activities themselves feel a little mundane, it feels very meaningful to them. They have a competition to see who can win the stupidest prize.
Hope this was a good list for you!!
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ultimately my stance on Dune is that I can definitely recognize its importance to scifi but its fans are way too precious about valid criticism which might mean some things are being brought out only now.
Years ago I was in the process of trying to read the first book (ultimately failing because I found the writing wooden and characterwork unengaging, and the descriptiveness while impressive was not enough to keep me) and making stray comments about it on my several follower twitter, only mentioning the name Dune and not tagging or marking it for visibility in any way. And I had complete strangers who literally just search up the word 'Dune' come and argue with me how I'm stupid and an oversensitive snowflake or just not getting it. Which admittedly soured me even more on the idea of wading through this book I don't enjoy further.
I found the new movie spectacular and enjoyable, but that's good craft! It didn't make me a Dune megafan, I just enjoyed the movie. And now after the lead's participation in insensitive 'humor' at the expense of a genocided populace whose cultures are the backbone of Herbert's wordbuilding, and people pointing that out, the duneheads better not be bringing out the 'it was a different time' or 'so you're only noticing it now!' NO! Your fave series was still niche in the mainstream, and criticism was either ignored or weirdos went out of their way to shut it down. No I don't think enjoying Dune makes you a bad person of COURSE but the holy cow mentality is tiring istg.
#dune critical#and the lack of middle eastern and north african actors should be noticed also#like why is a white spanish man playing the leader of a middle eastern people?
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
top 15 tv shows (in no particular order except i did number them bc otherwise i would forget to do 15)( love u @soleadita and fuck with the icon change immensely)
crashing (2016) call me marissa cooper the way i am ruthlessly stealing this pick but yeah it's. it's insane and fantastic and terrible and beautiful and so much happens so fast but its so so important to me
inside job (it's gross and weird and funny and sad and it's one of the only times i was genuinely upset when i heard about a show being cancelled)
young justice (pointing at an on fire garbage can - this is my son and i love him)
gilmore girls (comfort media of all time what else do you need)
bob's burgers (similar to the above it's very i am falling asleep to the weird bisexual man who is a mess at all times except for how much he loves his family)
fleabag (why yes i have a perfectly normal relationship with the catholic church and the concept of being truly known. why would you ask. and yeah i real life cried)
yuri on ice (idk if anime counts but fuck around and find out this is My List (tm)) ((it's beautiful and soft and lovely and sad and stressful and i listened to the instrumental track so many times it was on my spotify top songs. it's literally just a piano and a boy with a dream and i have wept about it))
given (it's the first anime i ever watched all the way through which in retrospect, fucking insane way to come out of the gate. as a Band Kid (tm) who wanted to be a theater kid but was bad at speaking in front of groups of people, this show did a lot to my psyche in the best way possible)
will (enough with the tears its time for something almost embarrassingly niche. in 2017 TNT had a drama series about william shakespeare and to this day it remains one of the greatest things ive ever seen. jamie campell bower plays the sluttiest version of christopher marlowe you've ever seen in your life. it's chaotic and ridiculous and i absolutely adore it. i have no idea where to find it im pretty sure they want us to forget it exists but i cant)
numb3rs (silly little show about a nervous man who solves murder with the power of math and being a pathetic little wife guy to the hottest woman ive ever seen. theres an episode about trains that i think rewired something in my brain)
white collar (look at me. obviously im a white collar guy. come on now)
invincible (i think ive seen the pilot episode like 4 times. i genuinely think it redefined to me what superhero media could be. oh i adore it more than anything. it's only 9 because i haven't seen season 2 yet but holy shit. holy shit. media of all time. if you want to know me fundamentally and wholly please watch the pilot. i'll watch it again anytime im not kidding)
teen titans (cherished childhood media of all time. only group of people who have ever understood dick grayson)
bridgerton season 2 (i'm bias on account of just finishing it yesterday but holy shit two people have never been in love like they are in love)
the flash (cw) (im sorry to both my mother and god for this one but unfortunately i don't have taste and also it's the reason i started caring about dc in the first place which is the reason i got back on tumblr and met all the cherished gay people in my telephone so yeah. barry allen's allowed to be cringe as fuck i owe him everything)
leo already tagged everyone i know on here but if u see this pls do it and @ me im nosy
#btw if i think about how many of these i've seen with and/or because of the gayest person in my telephone i will start crying again#been thinking about richard gansey too long now im emotionally compromised#i love you fucking freaks so much what the fuck#anyway watch crashing. i think thats the main takeaway
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
putting this under read more bc i know i'm being dramatic and its after 9pm and ill delete this and regret it when i wake up tomorrow morning but i honestly dont even really want to continue working on celeb au like i made the mistake of going on a blog i knew would upset me and to be honest its kind of shameless like i dont understand how you can do that to someone like there are a million and one ideas out there there are a million different niches. i really was so hopeful at first that this would be a less horrible experience than mdzs fandom was and while i guess anything would be better than that its really hurtful how quickly this went to shit for me like what is it about me that makes it so clear to ppl that i am easy to walk on and dont deserve respect like i'd never do that to someone else's work i don't even like reading someone else's fic while i'm writing mine i've had ideas i planned on writing prior that i didnt bc someone else came out with something similar and i didnt want ppl thinking i was copying in any way bc like thats such a shitty feeling. omg. theres nothing i hate more than shady shit this isn't the same situation but it kinda reminds me of when this one woman online found and stalked my tumblr which was more private those days and then talked shit about me on their "private" account of 700 followers and then dozens of ppl were replying to them about how i must be such a stuck up miserable bitch bc i only liked canon dynamics and then they were mocking me having anxiety and being depressed and being like aw maybe if u werent such a pathetic piece of shit then you wouldnt be anxious. and then when i found out about this i couldnt even say anything bc no matter what i'd look like the bad guy and i'd look like i was starting drama and i'd be accused of "causing top/b ottom discourse" when they were saying misogynistic and ableist shit about me in like. a room of 700 ppl. and then 30 or more ppl went up to the front of the lecture hall and started pointing and laughing too and while this isnt the same situation i always think about how that person then went and tweetd on their main abouthow "t/b discourse" discourse is Bad and Wrong and that people should be nice online and leave others alone. when they knew i knew???? that level of shamelessness is what perturbs me. this isnt a big space there arent many ppl its the same few blogs in rotation and the same tiny tiny ao3 tag and yet still this much shamelessness. omg. literally would be a millionare if i got a dime for every time i got told to be seen and not heard in my lifetime. how many different ways will god tell me i am not deserving of joy
#sorry to everyone that was excited about celeb au or the next chapter of reformation. so was i 👍🏾#good thing there are now multiple 😊#maybe i should go back to writing modao
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
🌻 >:)
IM FOUND ONE OF THESE MEMES IN MY DRAFts! Im gonna rank my experiences in the major fandoms i’ve engaged with.
🩵 YUGIOH! - Second longest running fascination. Upside!! Made life long friends. DOWNSIDE!! Was my first go at online engagement and in those 10 years so much happened that I still can’t help but feel a little sour. …Though ygo back in the day wasn’t good at tag comments, so I didn’t even know those were a thing for years until I branched out. 5/10. But grows to a 7/10 because i’ve settled into a niche area with so few people that it’s now a silly little club. 💕
🧡 Dragon Ball/Z - GENUINE CHAOS. Started off slow but intensified hard cuz get who got involved while Super was airing??? (I didn’t watch it lol), so the discourse and fighting was at an all time high. I have no idea how I even survived this in retrospect. My slight association with people netted me troll asks and my liking of Yamcha also set me up for those. …and frequent art reposting, and quite a few bizarre interactions. Pretty sure my art and edits have circulated more in latin america than I even know. This was also pre-tumblr purge so the amount of nsfw that got thrown my way is… something. That said!! Made also really good friends 💕 and DB/Z probably desensitized me to longer form discussions. 5/10 for insanity, but 8/10 for good reception and VERY PEAK and generous humans.
I think dbz hardened me.
💚 Invader Zim- started off fun (mostly irl with my friendo from days of YGO), but quickly devolved into territory that tested my patience. WHY ON EARTH THIS SERIES’ CONSUMERS had such a huge morality high ground base is beyond me. It’s this fandoms fault I learned about certain modern day online discourse terms and what instilled an irrational posting fear for a year lol. Fun at first and there’s super creative and receptive folk (then those people got kicked out) and left the most insufferable beings imaginable. There’s no in between. Shoutout to all 3 friends made who are still peak. 3/10, if I ever finish any remaining projects or decide to bite the bullet and show completed work, i’m not engaging again. The base just skews somewhere I can’t handle. Which is crazy given the ABOVE contenders have, on paper, done so much more.
dbz hardened me but iz weakened me. Which is probably why i need the formers bootcamp back. Don’t think I’m as fearful now, but i’ll still be salty.
💜 Twisted Wonderland - this is a work in progress experience. Will require further evaluation if all of the above experiences haven’t set my standards. Will stay in my corner. So far it’s 6/10 in vibes (they’re much calmer than the last one), tho I question how much of the interest is from what i do vs. what I did for others. Haven’t shared a ton of opinions yet and god knows lol we don’t want that /s. Still recovering from the former making me wanna just not do much. Baby steps I suppose.
💙 - Sonic The Hedgehog: This is a cheat, I have never interacted with the fandom directly (purely by happenstance, so thankfully no traces exist), but I have been into this since I was a child with no issues. So by default this is the best one. 10/10, didn’t engage, but I do lurk. Though all the stuff I see on tweeter isn’t exactly anything out of the norm for fandoms in general to do, so it weirds me out that people rag on this one for just kinda talking amongst themselves about innocuous things.
“omg this fandom is arguing over QUILL length ughhh can they never be pleased [30 yt videos about this drop]” ngl, this just feels like par for the course junk fandoms do. It really feels no different from DBZ where people go ham about the art style changes and which one is better. Or stupid shit in IZ where they fight about comics vs movie vs show. Like??? The only major difference here is that StH has more people in it (by the millions).
So literally nothing these folk do or say strikes me as anything more serious than what other fandoms already do??? Its just more outsiders see it then churn out content and perpetuate something worse from what’s honestly….pretty tame stuff. Maybe it’s just twitter’s setup given that’s all folk talk about.
#cozy texts#weirdly enough twst kinda involves things i always liked and went nuts for-#snuggles right in.#Side note: ever think about how the only visibility folk have is when u actively post#so when u dont people will just assume any other feelings dont exist?#no??? okay. but just keep that in mind lol#probably 70% of my experiences are behind closed doors
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
brainrotting about the fallen angels swagdoons so freaking hard but in an incomprehensible way ya know.
also glad to know that bc of me asking you decided to also tell this shit on here because holy moly core this au is absolutely wonderful and there's So much symbolism and by god aren't symbolisms the coolest things ever. just people giving a completely different meaning to things that never had this meaning before.
sorry for ranting lmao
aaaaanyways, what's up with that thing about casino quartet ^-^ is there anything else about the world's worst polycule?
OMG TYSM CHERNY THE BELOVED!!!! omg tysm for letting me ramble abt the fallen angel concept.,… i was torturing my friends too much with it thank u for letting mr be silly on main ^_^ /silly
ALSO IM SO GLAD U LIKE THE SYMBOLISM!!! i love making up made up symbolism fr…its so fun to make order out of chaos and looking closely at things and bring New Life to them i loveeee doing to sm (and i love aus like that in general they make them feel so Alive)
but ya!! i mentioned how it started off as a crack au with casino quartet and uh. (tries to think of a way to describe them without going into the main tags <-scared) let’s ramble about them! ^_^
basically so uh. for a while i thought one of the funniest things ever was to make a mcyt au from the music video lore of this one k-pop group because the idea was so absurd and it was niche enough that people Won’t Know/clock it right away and the idea of being “SURPRISE IT WAS KPOP” was something REALLY funny because i am messed up and evil in the head!!!
but. if i’m being honest. their my aesthetic low key slapped for no reason so as i started thinking about it and whatnot the au just became. its own thing. like you can sorta see bits of The Original Intent in there but its so far removed its basically its own thing so. (if you figured out who i assigned who to who no you dont /silly)
but uh. the lore is Very long and casino quartet only really work with one of the subgroups of the k-pop group so i’m just gonna focus on that one ^_^
basically, their subgroup’s lore is a vaguely based off of a few anesthetic of the bible, more specifically the story of adam and eve and angels escaping eden or whatnot. there’s 4 members, one representing adam, one representing eve, and the last 2 representing angels, with one following adam and eve to escape eden and the one who’s left behind eventually becoming fallen and finding self worth in herself
in the main music video where their Lore is shown, the other angels literally leave one of them out of the loop as they plan to escape eden together—just without the last angel :( and there’s a really sad shot of her looking at all of her friends running out of eden without her. then i another music video we get the other angel looking very sad that she left her friend behind but adam and eve r so smitten with each other that they dont care <- no way it’s clownzy and ash in team chaos i mean WHATTTTT ^_^
anyways. as u can tell. i mostly went “omg casino quartet” at the team chaos parallels and the Betrayal and Making Things Right themes and since their subgroup was Inspired by bible aesthetics, the idea for red being a fallen angel kinda Stuck with me and i (eventually) brainrotted the idea so hard and connecting to more things about fallen angels and whatnot i came across to the point it became its Own Thing. but tbh i really like the idea of ash trying to get red back and whatnot and him being a Fallen Angel as well stuck A Lot
and Also i like the idea of clown and branzy being the more modern interpretations of adam and eve. like someone who’s smitten in love and being willing to bite the apple and fall into sin for that. they’re so ill about each other it could go either way its them fr!!!!
but yeah. thumbs up . thats the Lore reason to why fallen angel ash and red became a thing >_< clownzy is a secret 3rd thing to me when it comes to the fallen angel concept but !!! its awesome maybe ill redraw the mv scenes with them one day….
#casino quartet#tw caps#media.warning.caps#anyways. illness#if u know what i’m talking abt it. no u dont /silly#but maybe. will jumpscare the tag and post the redraw art once i complete it#it would be Very silly i think#anyways ya tysm for the ask!! if u want me to dm u the mv links 2 u….feel free to ask!!!#mailbox.core
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
under the auspicious moon of pride month, i will take a moment to shed cringe and make a post celebrating my niche blorbos. (Uh, ambiguous spoilers involved.)
under a cut to make my derangement an optional experience
This is my penultimate cringefail loserhusband, Shion Ribellion. He's a normal, kind of lame, kind of lazy dude who got launched into a fantasy novel as the aide of the Fallen-From-Grace Big Bad of the novel "The Holy Sword", but pre the Big-Bad-ening. The guy he became-- that is, Shion Ribellion-- was supposed to die after uncovering shady secrets of his boss' past.
He is by all accounts the weirdest fuck anyone has ever met and borderline entirely useless, except when he comes in clutch in ways no one knew was an option. It's never cool when he does it its just wildly unanticipated and often painfully earnest.
He is frequently (deservedly) bullied and it brings me immeasurable joy.
He's also the originally-kinda-reluctant now-very-passionate #1 defender, supporter, and Therapist Friend to this guy, Duke Serpens. His last name is important or something but Shion exclusively calls him by his first name because courtly etiquette could bite him directly on the nose and he'd still forget about it 5 minutes later.
Don't be fooled by his delicate good looks though, this bitch is an obsessively calculated manipulator and genuinely overpowered swordsman. The only thing standing between him and falling to the dark side is Shinon's persistent sincerity and loyalty. (No, like, REALLY the only thing. Serpens had an abusive upbringing and yada yada, but the story goes to great lengths to outline how it was a broad communal failing and strong Bystander Effect that led to Serpens' obsessive perfectionism, emotional dissociation, and subsequent downfall in the 'original' story.)
Shinon's indignance on his behalf and insistent questing for Serpens' life to improve (with tasks such as: get Serpens to admit he likes sweets! Get Serpens to pick up a hobby!) is the First time anyone has cared about him as a person and while he is understandably Incredibly Suspicious of Shion to start, they like... actually communicate?? And while both sides still keep secrets, they also acknowledge that to each other. That open communication and efforts toward bonding brings them closer, and both choose to trust each other over and over again.
The story, "The Duke's Redemption", isn't tagged BL/gay, but there is very little strictly heterosexual explanation for most of their interactions. Whatever they are, it's potent. And so fucking funny.
90% of the time, Shion is my absolute cringefail husband, the first character I've truly, deeply UNDERSTOOD the appeal of a failguy:
He has no practical skills aside from basic paperwork competency and most of the time has no fucking idea what's going on. His literal only credit is an ounce of emotional intelligence and a strong (if chronically unwise) moral compass.
He's so ridiculous that Serpens, the chronic overachiever-perfectionist who has never had a friend he's honest with, makes faces like this at him:
FOR SERPENS THIS IS A LOT.
They manipulate each other endlessly, with both of them fully aware but still suckers for it. Serpens bullies Shion in ways he can't even argue against, but always toes the line and offers sincere (if stilted) compliments alongside his blunt criticisms. Shion, useless clown that he is, puppyeyes at Serpens and mysteriously this always seems to help his case.
The story frequently indulges-- gleefully, openly, and knowingly-- in ridiculous character tropes, like Serpens' tendency to literally just like escape out windows when emotionally overwhelmed, then uses them for character growth and emotional beats.
Serpens puts his Guy through Situations but always, always stands at his back to make sure he gets out safely, and by like chapter 13 half the shit he pulls to bully Shion is a thinly veiled effort to ensure his safety.
They do shit like this:
And Shion is CONSTANTLY getting up in Serpens' space unconsciously and fretting over him (despite being demonstrably and chronically more vulnerable both physically and emotionally- though in his defense he's definitely more resilient/better at bouncing back).
Multiple characters have commented on how close and casual their relationship is, to the fluster of Shion and the apparent wariness or feigned ignorance of Serpens. (He acknowledges in private how much he lets Shion get away with, but clearly bristles when he knows other people are clocking Shion's importance and unique position.) Serpens is so much stiffer than Shion that when undercover they have been mistaken for having their roles reversed (that is, that Shion is the higher noble and Serpens his guard/assistant). And yet Shion gets away with everything and Serpens doesn't even bat an eye.
Canonically they are like almost definitely not gay. Probably. And I'm okay with that because their canon relationship is REALLY good and well-paced and, I cannot emphasize enough, fucking hilarious. But in my HEART they are so in love with each other it's STUPID. I care about them more than words can say. I have so many screenshots of them. They are so stupid I would kill for them I WISH they had a proper English-speaking fandom bc I am FROTHING AT THE MOUTH and painfully monolingual so even if they DO have a Korean fanbase I cannot touch it 😭
[This has been unhinged manwha posting with harf]
#the duke's redemption#harf blarf blib blab#if literally a single other person got as hype abt these two as i am i think i would disintegrate from excitement#i love them i love them i love them#they are SO DUMB#shion especially of course#my sweet cringefail clownhusband#shion ribellion#serpens a. frashidus#that is aggressively NOT the correct way to spell his last name i almost guarantee it but im using a fanlation and. look.#we take fanlations as they are with love in our hearts#theyre doing their best#I will be this fandom on my own if i have to
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Heyo! We've done six of these so far and it's been fun running this little game for yall. I hope its entertaining for you!
Now that we've got some under our belts I wanted to open up for feedback on a few different points. Im going to go over how ive done stuff so far, so if you have any thoughts on aspects of it you can chime in.
Putting the rest under the cut since it's kind of long.
1. Timing
So far I've tried to post new ones at sort of random times in the day so it doesn't give any one a consistent advantage. Im US Eastern and posts might go up anytime between 8am and 2am. I might even use the queue to schedule round the clock.
Another timing thing is that when someone guesses right, I give at least a few hours more before posting the reveal. It's just to give people a little more time to play, even if someone gets the answer right away. That's not to say you cant play after the reveal posts go up, but if youre anything like me, as soon as the ability to see the answer is available im clicking that link lol.
And since the reveal post tags the winner, I wait at least a few more hours for the next silhouette post so the prev winner doesnt have the advantage of being notified of the next one.
So a question here is should I wait longer or shorter on any of these areas? Do you like that its only one unrevealed at a time?
2. Difficulty level
This has been the hardest because it's a learning curve to find what's easy, what's hard, and why. There are SO many characters and runs, so it's hard to know if something I thought was memorable was even a blip on other people's radars. So ive tried to do a mix of difficulties.
Easier ones mean more people have the satisfaction of guessing and maybe getting it right, but if it's too easy then it might feel like these are puzzles for babies.
Harder ones mean a challenge and a lot of satisfaction if you figure it out or know that it's some niche thing. But if it's too hard then nobody gets it and it can feel kind of bullshit.
So what im wondering here is, do you feel like these have been too easy or too hard? Do you like it being a mix?
3. Character and image selection
If I put up a straightforward silhouette of Etrigan, everyone's going to get it and there's no challenge. On the flip side if i did a silhoutte or jason blood standing in a contextless room its like that could be literally any random man, so itd lead to random guesses. So ive been trying to find the sweet spot of the silhouette being somewhat familiar but not completely unique, and the rest of the image with some stuff going on. I think that's been going well but it does mean it relies on me and my ability to make a good little puzzle of it. So i hope I've been doing an alright job in that area.
Choosing from particular runs is interesting. I usually think of a character first then go find something they were in. Im finding the stories with other characters and team ups are good options to provide that extra context. But then the tricky part is that i have to be at least somewhat aware of whats popular and whats not. I dont want to use a panel from a run nobody read (unless its really good), and I also dont want to do one so infamous that everyone knows it like the back of their hand. So as with choosing particular images, I hope my choice of titles I'm sourcing these from has been fair.
4. How to guess
I went with tags so it encourages people to reblog and hopefully spread awareness of the blog. I think its also the easiest way people are inclined to interact per post. We couldve done asks but sometimes those get dropped by tumblr, and all the reveal posts would be answers to asks instead of standalone posts.
I like the idea that even for old ones people can still play and have fun with guessing on their own. Not sure if theres a clever way to encourage that.
And i hope the leaderboard is fun. Just a small incentive to participate. Its like saying nice job, thank you for playing.
5. Hints
As mentioned previously, if over a day goes by and nobodys got it ill post a hint. I've only done one hint so far and i was really not sure how subtle or overt i should be. Idk if anyone has thoughts about it?
--
So that's it. That's the process behind things and kind of where my mind is on it. I want it to be fun and chill, so if you ever have feedback about something you can always send an ask. It can be about the topics here or really at anytime about anything.
Thanks for playing everyone! Keep it up!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
user experience research in (large) games
Ok I saw user testing catching strays in the tags of another post so I figured, since I've worked as a user experience researcher in larger game studios that I'd give a bit more context on what we actually do - since we seem to catch strays both from random people and from the studios themselves.
1. UXR does not inherently change ideas or parts of a game.
That is not our job. We're not designers! There is, in fact, huge debate about whether UXR should be giving designers any suggestions at all because we're not as close to the project as they are. But I've found it really comes down to the UXR's familiarity with the project as well as their relationship with the development team on if they will take or want suggestions to begin with. Many times, we're showing off results to them where players are finding snags in their play experience, and it's really up to them to find better solutions for how to make the experience smoother.
Additionally, UXR is a mediator between the game development team and players. It's important to capture player experience and insights, but it is also very important to stay in line with the game's vision. You have a weird and fucked up game? UXR is not meant to bring any feedback about how the game is too weird or fucked up to the game team. Because that aligns with the game's visions and goals.
2. UXR is there to make niche parts of the game approachable to all players.
Everyone always talks about making more gritty, edgy, or weird games. Which I 100% agree with. But the rub comes from if players can even access these parts of your game at all. Then you get a bunch of questions. Why can't players use this ability? Is it because it's not useful? Is it because they don't know they have it? Is it because they know they have it but they don't know when they can use or how to use it?
These are generally the kind of questions we're asking players as they work through a game. Without a lot of this work, a lot of this would go under the radar because, unsurprisingly, when you work on a game for a long time, you tend to forget that new players may not know to press U in order to access their character ability sheet, which may also not be properly explained in the tutorial, which may lead to them never being able to access it.
This is especially important for accessibility. Great, you chose a brand new random control scheme. Can you change that control scheme? If you can, can you adapt it enough to be accessible for all players that may need aids to play videogames? If yes, can they access the control options easily to even get to them in the first place?
3. UXR is not there to gather the opinions of players.
At least in my experience (and I'm talking about big studios here) UXR is not, in fact, there to capture the opinions of players and make sure characters are more likeable, etc. We can do that kind of research if the team specifically asks it of us, but generally, if it is not literally breaking the player's experience when they work through the game, it is not important enough for us to bring to the team because they have enough other shit to deal with.
If you're seeing that kind of reaction from collected data, either UXR is not filtering the results and thus production or leadership is looking at it going "yeah ok let's change that" putting the work on the developers/teams, or its from the consumer insights side of things who is looking at general user trends, user reactions, market reactions, etc.
So yes, while we look at trends in data, a lot of the time I was tasked to ask questions like "what was confusing for you" and then I would aggregate that to see where players were struggling with understanding a game.
If there are specific attributes of a game being tested, such as a new champion in Apex for example, then you'd probably want players experienced with the game coming in and testing it to make sure it 'feels right' and balanced, and that they especially don't have issues with it to make sure players can actually play around with all the cool, new, weird, fun stuff you wanted to put in the game in the first place.
There are other parts of UXR like expert reviews (ask me why I don't like them and think they're not useful!) but that's a whole nother pack of worms.
Anyway, that's a little rundown of how UXR can help with games. There's so many issues with it and politics within the industry - for example, if a UXR does a study and finds that players are really not having a good time with a game set to release soon, the development team is going to have consequences. So how high up can those results go? Additionally, if a study finds that players are doing well with a game, and it releases and it bombs, that leads to a whole other mess of shit. Which is why I hate strategic work tbh - it becomes so corporatized and more about future sales output and less about the game itself.
However, that is a cog in a much larger machine of issues within the games industry. And UXR itself is trying to get our work down to make games accessible to all.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thank u adi @sunfleursky for tagging me i‘m slightly tipsy but oh well here are eight shows that uhhhh say something abt me? Whatever the game is sorry i know i’m talking to much (song by COIN)
Skam[France] bc duh. I was like 16 and it changed my whole personality. If anyone said anything close to ‘Noora’ i probably responded to it. So did my wardrobe.
We’re struggling already but i can do it i swear, so, um. I’m gonna say eyewitness bc that was one of the first shows i watched that had a main non-hetero representation (obvi next to skam) AND was a crime show?? it was also such an incredibly good show considering the plot? And the suspension? Like it literally had me on the edge of my seat almost the whole time? Had no idea how it would end? Big ass recommendation and a shame it’s so niche.
Ummmm Stranger Things. If you didn’t watch this what r u doing /j. Such a good show and such good characters!! Shoutout steve harrington obviously. Robin <3 . Incredibly well done and one of the few rather scary shows i’ve watched but it’s so good i had to watch it all and i cannot WAIT for the last season.
The end of the f***ing world. It’s so good! It’s so fucking dry it’s just incredible and it made my cry too. The way it told its story really stuck w me and i‘ve rewatched it several times
Trinkets? One of the few shows w a lesbian lead…. I really love the characters i just wish they had done more w the story rip
Then we got,,,, I am not okay with this, which is just an incredibly entertaining story with characters I adore somehow, it‘s just a little different from the usual teenage shows, yet so absolutely normal it‘s almost terrible. But no it‘s good and i loved it bc it’s so real while also not at all but also yes. Relatable as fuck and also rewatched several times
Sex education? Banger. Real. Entertaining. Girl power. Made me cry. For once a good, almost hetero couple (maeve is unfortunately very very bisexual sorry to my boy otis but aimee literally exists).
Avatar the last airbender……. Few shows did it like atla let’s be honest. Characters are all 11/10. So so so good and also it’s a good 2D show like how rare are those.
I’m taggingggggg um @halfyourheart @uservalentine @burstingsunrise ……. @ladybugnoah and @calumsash
#tag game#love u adi#small additional shoutout to the office bc it’s good but didnt make the ranking bc it’s just entertainment for when i’m eating lunch/dinner#and got… not even sorry it has some of my favourite characters ever ok
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
📖 RN NOW PLS
you have no idea how far back i had to go in my OLD ask tag to find this fucking link. i love you kebbie i really do and i hope this genuinely proves it - so send me a book for a daydreamed story of mine! trust me i have many!
this ask has deadass been in my box for two years now um. holy fuck. its gonna be super long bc this is actually my excuse to force myself to figure out how this fucking story actually goes. youre my sacrificial lamb, babe <3
under the cut for toxic/abusive relationship themes | mostly stemming from not putting an end to toxic cycles and briefly refusing to believe it was an issue
so i had this old ass wip, right. it was called parisian lovers despite no one in the entire story being french whatsoever and it was basically a love story for a sexual relationship with danger turning into a genuine view into what happens when you dont. like check yourself before running headlong into what you think you want
ive since started readapting it to (surprise) swtor and an excuse to explore sith pureblood (henceforth referred to as "tsis") cultures surrounding whats considered normal in their dating/relationships, and also how it challenges familial relationships
the details of it are super fuzzy mostly bc all the meat of it was lost to twitter dms that i refuse to open. so heres a quick fast easy rundown
basically, youve got tsiksos. he is the third born and third son of an extremely powerful and wealthy union of bloodlines, and since hes really not the most important one, he decides he wants to study a niche theory of dark arts. something about how channeling power needed to cast sorcery can be amplified through vocals and choreography. basically he went to a contemporary dance school for the shadow wizard money gang
tsiksos meets ûtainoz, who is practically a beast in this school. he sees the valedictorian spot and hes steamrolling anyone he needs to. hes ruthless, hes heartless, hes a smooth-talker, he will do anything to get his way, and tsiksos found that hot and sexy and definitely worth falling in love with
predictably, this goes terribly. tsiksos doesnt know what the hell he walked into, only that he may as well enjoy it because hes sleeping with the hottest, most talented guy at this school. ûtainoz got a little too comfortable, though, and by the end of their tenure there lost his valedictorian spot to tsiksos,,, who was also gunning for it right under his nose
but whatever, its fine, they go their separate ways with the taste of one anothers venom permanently burned in each others mouths. they both fill their own niches. ûtainoz goes into more of a performative, traveling role and relies on his aesthetic rather than his power - whereas tsiksos followed through with his intent and deepened his connection to the dark arts through what he learned. he became something of a siren, honestly
anyway anyway anyway. tsiksos moves off of his homeworld. he decides he wants to actively burn fires through everywhere ûtainoz has been. and hes extremely successful. he wants to win, he needs to win, he will win. he meets utajhaiw while in the new city, and while poor utajhaiw falls in love - tsiksos sees someone he can keep close with him if he just uses all the right words.
which works! theyre together, its great, theyre fucking almost daily. but they argue every hour. to the point where it gets violent more often than not with tsiksos on the offensive. the arguments are largely fabricated or instigated out of boredom. but isnt it worth it for the sloppy nasty disgusting hateful makeup sex?
yeah well. the neighbors of their apartment dont think so. theyve nearly called the cops every time, until neighbor laishtzi comes over to investigate what just hit the wall. he gets pulled, literally, into the middle of their fuck. his partner rîshja follows and, likewise, gets pulled into the middle of their fuck. its like some sort of apology thing for them too and it becomes regular.
enter: their friend nunjor, a lawyer (i think. something like that) who also ! gets pulled into the sex life. whats worse is that both tsiksos and utajhaiw both fell in love with nunjor and wanted to have him as a permanent third.
sometime after this, the whole hatefucking thing gets a little too hateful. tsiksos actually genuinely nearly kills utajhaiw, and hes starting to hide the knives in earnest. nunjor suggests that they attend actual couples' things instead of just their joint performances where utajhaiw plays and tsiksos conjures something.
they try it. they enjoy it. their relationship actually improves. they make a vase together in a ceramics class.
by the way, utajhaiw has asthma. tsiksos has been stressing him out so bad hes started smoking. on purpose. yes it is what you think it is and tsiksos thinks its hot because he wants to shotgun the smoke from his mouth
anyway, something happens and tsiksos starts backsliding. they have another argument and he breaks their ceramic vase. all that dust from the glaze and the clay triggers a pretty bad asthma attack, bad enough that the neighbors come over (it had been so long without an incident) and call the paramedics to come get him. utajhaiw actually snaps at tsiksos in the middle of literally coughing himself to death, and this is uh. a little traumatizing. because its never been this bad before.
utajhaiw makes it to the hospital fine, refuses to see tsiksos, and nunjor is on utajhaiw's side - that was fucking uncalled for, dude. tsiksos goes back to their apartment, alone for the first time since they bought it together. naturally he should not be alone at this time
laishtzi phones a friend, kaqur (psychiatrist-adjacent) and his partner jashru (probably a psychologist, if not professional "wtf is wrong with you, stop that"). they agree to take tsiksos in while utajhaiw is back home with his family.
its about a year i think? that tsiksos stays with them, basically on s-watch, and it turns out he has a really severe derealization + depersonalization whammy going on, spurned from still dressing the way ûtainoz liked him to dress and the way other people wanted to see his body. he punched through a mirror. so once he started dressing in looser, more comfortable clothing - surprise! he felt better!!!
(meanwhile, utajhaiw spent a year at home strengthening his lungs again, writing songs and poetry, and reconsidering his entire life. spoiler alert: he actually was in love with tsiksos)
but things are never easy. at some point, tsiksos has a bit of a meltdown and breaks out of his little prison, steals the spare key to his apartment, and ends up burrowing in the bed wearing utajhaiws clothes and sleeping on his side of the bed because he feels so fucking bad about what he did to him. but uhhhhhhh.
apparently nunjor also decided to pay a visit that night. and tsiksos, in some nightmare-sleep-haze, reacts to nunjor trying to wake him as if he were ûtainoz - meaning he tried to apologize through offering his body. rubbing his hands on his thighs, face in his crotch (since nunjor was standing at the side of the bed). when nunjor gently corrected him and woke him (not that he would have been upset at the idea of fucking him again, buth he didnt seem to be in the right headspace) it actually uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sent tsiksos into a worse panic. scrambling out of the bed. tripping on something. breaking a glass.
oh, hello ptsd - it sure is nice crab-scrambling backwards on your hands and bare feet over glass while hyperventilating and sobbing so hard you genuinely cant see. again, laishti and rîshja to the rescue getting him back to kaqur and jashru.
so heres where the fun happens. ûtainoz comes back. hes genuinely changed for the better, he is apologetic. he wants to make it up to the person he hurt the worst. does tsiksos take him up on that? yes. should he have? yes, actually, because he needed the closure.
they start rekindling what little flame they had together. days turn into weeks, months, and theyre getting along just fine. apparently nunjor had left, and tsiksos had no comm - by the time tsiksos noticed, it was uh. almost a little too late.
theres a time where tsiksos and ûtainoz are in a speeder together and ohhhh nunjor is a poet, its in his full name, but he also composes. he sings. and he sings about how badly someone has just lifted him higher than ever before dropping him down into nothing. tsiksos has a breakdown on the lawn of some random recreational park.
things will get better again, though! somewhere along the way, tsiksos and ûtainoz make peace with who they are and who they were. nunjor comes back and he and tsiksos talk it out. they forgive each other. and then tsiksos and utajhaiw reunite. they explain a lot. they forgive each other.
tsiksos/utajhaiw/nunjor throuple endgame is the only thing that matters to me actually.
thanks for coming to my ted talk i love you so much
#cheeri inquires#kebbie when i put this shit in draft#i had to actually scroll down through a sea of other lost posts#just to find it#meaning dont feel bad - there are posts older than this ask that i have held onto#cheeri is literate#i need a swtor tag#technically this counts as swtor since tsiksos is vowrawns brother
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
I've read hilarious tags to a tweet (that was posted on tumblr):
Don't think Harry Styles likes dressing like that. Looks miserable in pics. Probably is like hey man can I wear a suit or something. maybe a big t-shirt Pete Davidson gets to wear big stinky shirts. And his handler is like nah you're a fake gay guy gotta wear fake gay guy clothes
The tags (and some replies):
-he exists so straight people can be allies without actually being allied to any queer people /hj
-Hey yeah the issue is not that he isn't wearing ""man clothes"" the issue is that he looks like shit and it feels incredibly performative to everyone except you fans.
-the issue is that his music is bad. if he was putting out bangers no one would gaf how he looks. You know who never got this kind of reaction for wearing a dress? kid cudi. cause man puts out bangers
-its what happens when you only achieve level of solo fame by being part of a wattpad ship
-I just saw you rb the diamond jumpsuit and he looks so
uncomfortable it gave me sympathetic dysphoria. Like legitimately he looks like he's desperately closeted, but like for cishet people. He looks like want transphobes think we do to people. Like those shitty alt right political cartoons of like 'in 2030 everyone will be forced to be queer at gunpoint'. Lazer sniper sight glinting off his diamanté encrusted extra nipple
-sure he's fighting gender norms but the gender norms are winning
-he looks like a very boring conservative man's idea of a gay man. Like whatever he's made some good music and he seems like an alright person. But I cannot find it in me to be happy for him. He looks manufactured
-Literally like you look at the photos of 70's glam rock stars and like. Not only are they rocking it but they seem to be beyond comfortable in it in that 'this is me' way. Styles looks as if he'd kill for a pair of khakis and a hoodie
-Dude the logic around Harry has fully switched. First it's 'oh no management isn't allowing him to be gay' and now it's 'omg he's acting gay only because his pr team told him to
-Why do Harry Style stans try to suck your eyes out of your skull if you criticize him? Celebrity culture makes me wanna self immolate lol
I am saying that's just him trying to be more special than his designated bland pop singer for straight girls niche
Said in a server last night he looked like he just came in straight from a cke binge. Then said he looked like that hairy pink dancing creature with that silver look 😭
He just always looks like sht man…you're rich. I know you can afford to challenge gender roles and dress well Wearing the ugliest rompers w his nips out just aint cutting it
LMAO he looks SO sad in the diamond jumpsuit people have been comparing it to their pre transition pics
-fake pretentious c*nt. *untalented
-he really is just some guy being forced to be a gay icon
mf showed up looking like a batman villain
-Nah i was directioner and harry biased then and he always dresses like that. But yeah i agree his stylists and producers say for him to exaggerate and pretend he is the modern david bowie when in fact he is just a boyband soloist lmao
hes in my top 5 on spotify for the past million years TWO THINGS CAN BE TRUE
-if 2021 target pride collection was personified.
-this is exactly how my 62 y/o mom talks abt him lmaoooo. Liike she HATES him she thinks he’s a total phony and finds him an insult to the lgbt community#best ally tbh gotta love her
-I've literally been saying this like he’s just doing this for the money but for how long 😭😭
-ite transtrender but for gay people
-ok. there was this huge ass paper thing full of his new cd in the middle of my favourite record shop. Making the already small store even more cramped. so fuck him#there you go i <3 being a hater
-he’s literally not gay. if he was i’d become homophobic
(Sorry if some of them are too rude, I have hard time discerning bc I don't speak to many people on the internet and don't know fully what's the proper etiquette)
.
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
since u asked i think ur ouranposting is indeed #based as hell (literally what im here for but also i dont get the memes u reblog from anyone else either) and honestly the world needs more twincestmaxxing, i hate how this stuff got so discouraged like i used to be one of the big elricest posters literally ten years ago and now tags are dead. i like it when ppl tag even their short text posts ("guys imagine they did xyz" and im like yeah man im imaging that now. hits the like button) bc its SOMETHING for the other ppl to see and laugh at and enjoy. i appreciate that about the hikakao ppl on here a lot, you included.
THANK YOU MY HIKAKAO POSTER IN CHRIST. also yeah sorry all my other reblogs are literal nonsense im going through it (psychosis)
well anywayzz, i totally agree with you there. i was also pretty online during the "anything goes" era of the internet, and so modern landscapes of culture around shipping and shit is pretty dumb to me. In most aspects, really. I don't get the whole "us vs them" mentality of proshippers/anti-shippers or whatever, i'm pretty individualistic in the sense that i feel this shouldn't be a group thing and it should just be "post whatever u feel like and if u see smth u dont like block and move on, that easy". also cuz overall the whole shipping morality thing in and of itself ties back to morality in what fiction is and isnt okay and that is a HUUUGELY nuanced discussion that CANNOT be boiled down to just 2 sides......so i very much disagree with that approach. i know i have people on "either" side following me, ppl who identify as proshippers or antis, n just to clarify i have nothing against either "side", u do u, not my business, i just personally don't agree with the idea of whittling it down to something so anti-nuanced. but hey again this is why i don't rlly discuss this sort of thing on here bcuz it's a biiig biig serious topic and brotha im on tumblr dot com posting about twincest from a 2000s anime does it look like im taking myself very seriously here...
ANYWHO! ouran is a very small fandom at this point in time so hikakao even more so. but im glad i've found a niche community and i appreciate all my fellow posters :] whether u are a lurker or on that #grind making art, i love u.
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
bat-jean-chen
无标题
webabycupcakecollection-blog
Sans titre
2kaitensitaato
す～ぱ～火力(super-karyoku)
fnf-fanchildren-ask-blog
Still-Funkin'!
