#literally in my list if top 10 romantic moments im not sure why this one is getting 2 me so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yinxiong · 4 years

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do u have any anime recs?? ive only watched the popular ones like haikyuu, bnha and aot but its kinda overwhelming to look for new ones so im asking u since i know & trust that u have good taste

ooohhhhhh boyyyy im vibrating bc 1) you’re asking me for anime recs 2) yOU SAID I HAVE GOOD TASTE HDJK THANK 🥺💞

okay but being serious here ,,, i’m not sure exactly what genres you’re looking for so i’ll put a list of my favorites + other ones similar to those 3 you might enjoy :))) if you have anything specific in mind lmk !!! i recently compiled a list of everything i’ve watched / tried to watch (it’s quite embarrassing actually) so hopefully there’s something you’ll like on there 😊

fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood

genre: shounen, action, fantasy, women characters being badass

very brief summary: two boys learn alchemy and try to get their bodies back, ends up unravelling government conspiracy in the process

this is my all time favorite uhdfdjks

top tier, a masterpiece truly

i'd rate it 100/10 but it surpasses that honestly

it's just really REALLY good

might be a little bit slow in the beginning but trust me it picks up quickly

if you’re interested it’s originally a manga and has some more details the anime left out !!!

assassination classroom / ansatsu kyoushitsu

genre: shounen, school, action, kids being kids but with knives and guns

brief summary: a class of kids are assigned to kill a super monster before he blows up the earth in exactly one year - the catch is that he’s their homeroom teacher :D

basically kids learning how to be assassins but also trying to pass school and it's all very heartfelt and you WILL adopt them all

10/10 i cry every time

honestly watch this first it’s very easy to follow

also a manga with a few storylines the anime left out, not crucial but i recommend anyways since i read it first before the anime even came out and it just has a special place in my heart

noragami

genre: shounen, urban fantasy, gods being literal disasters someone pls help them

brief summary: a girl accidentally meets an unknown god and asks him for his help, slowly learns more about his world (i’m so sorry this is really vague but it’ll all be covered in the first episode trust me)

the gods can find spirits (dead people) and turn them into weapons if that’s cool

sexy animation !!!!!

only big flaw with the anime is that they mess up the main character’s characterization a little bit so you might want to read the manga? also only has two seasons and the manga is further along ,,, but everyone is currently stressed tf out over the plot ohmygod ,,,

gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun

genre: romantic comedy but heavy emphasis on comedy, slice of life, literal chaos

brief summary: a girl has a crush on a guy who turns out to be a manga artist, she winds up being his assistant (this barely covers it though)

a bunch of high school kids being chaotic and oblivious

just watch it i can’t really explain it in words you’ll be laughing a lot

only one season so if you enjoy there’s also more chaos in the manga

your lie in april / shigatsu wa kimi no uso

genre: shoujo, classical music !!!!

brief summary: a former piano prodigy who no longer plays because he can’t hear music meets a violinist that brings color into his life once again

look

this is top tier

so beautiful hhdjfdks

i watched this on my new tv and shed real tears

as a pianist/musician i adore it a lot hhhhh the pieces they chose to play are all the favs (i performed a medley with my violinist friend for a show once hahahah)

a little sad tho beware of feels

the opening song is like . so freaking well known omg

akame ga kill!

genre: shounen, action, lots of fighting and blood, war

brief summary: a boy joins a group of assassins who are working to overthrow the shithole government (yea sounds kind of basic but there’s more to it)

mainly just girls with weapons

i mean there’s guys too but the girls are the best characters

the weapons are lowkey magical too

yea this is where my nickname came from lol

the anime gets a 7/10 but the manga probably 8/10

manga is darker, more graphic but better plotwise

no game no life

genre: shounen, a bit of ecchi ugh, lots of mind games

brief summary: two genius gamer siblings get transported to a world where everything is decided by games, they decide they want to beat god

very colorful and pretty animation!!!!

there’s some questionable “fanservice” moments but ignoring that the plot is legit

only one season tho :(( pls it was so popular when it came out where is s2

there is a movie prequel, a lot more angsty but still vv good

ao haru ride

genre: shoujo, the usual high school romance, slice of life

brief summary: a girl meets the guy she used to have a crush on, only to find that his personality has completely changed (she has too though)

insert falling back in love

one of the shoujo classics haha

i binged this in one night a few weeks ago

not sure if it was worth it but i had fun lmao

just a low stakes cute anime

also very pretty

only 12 eps, the manga finishes later

given

genre: just music boys being gay lol (jk it’s kind of sad)

brief summary: a boy learns to move on from his ex by joining a band (this is possibly the shittiest summary ever but i dont wanna give anything away hdjhkjs)

just watch it lmao it’ll make sense

idiot boys

band boys !!!

feels but not overwhelming

the comedy is top notch though

i adore given so much hhjkdf waiting for the movie to come out

THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD

all the songs are on spotify i listen to them way too much

yuri on ice

genre: figure skaters being gay that’s all you need to know

brief summary: a figure skater falls into a slump, somehow winds up with the top skater as his coach (yet another shitty summary sorry)

hmm this isn’t actually one of my favorites but it’s popular enough so why not

i just really love figure skating hfjdks

it’s pretty accurate i’d say! there are even easter eggs of top men skaters irl hahah

definitely dramatized lol

but still pretty fun

bungou stray dogs

genre: shounen, urban fantasy, very dapper mafia / detectives

brief summary: a kid on the run after getting kicked out of his orphanage accidentally saves a detective, shit goes down from there

pretty fun as you learn about their powers, watch them solve mysteries

the fighting is cool too

until the machine guns appear ugh i just tune that part out

oh yea all the characters are named for actual literary figures and i didnt realize until s2 💀

fairy tail

genre: shounen, magic/fantasy, action, friends !!!!!

brief summary: just mages in guilds going on quests lolol what more do you want

fr it’s honestly quite chill

like there’s definitely an ongoing plot and lots of subplots / arcs

but it’s very character driven

so many cool character designs

was OBSESSED w this in middle school ,,, highkey embarrassing omg

one of the big anime/manga, if you like bnha i’m sure you’ll have fun with fairy tail

this was a stupidly long list and im clearly way too excited ,,, if you have any questions or just want to scream about any of these, my inbox is always open ;)))

#ask #anon #anime recs #plsss im a weeb #ive definitely lost followers over it #but idc anymore #tysm for this ask ily

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whereissora · 5 years

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My Favorite Sora and Riku BroTP Moments

First off, I don’t ship Soriku. Sorry, but I just don’t. I have never gotten a romantic vibe from them EVER and I really enjoy how they interact and work together like a pair of brothers. There are plenty of other tumblrs that post Soriku, and I assure you they’re not hard to find.

Riku is sexy and important and Sora is a literal drop of sunshine, and I love both these boys so much. I really enjoy how much Riku’s character arc reminds me of Zuko from ATLA and how he embodies the “protective big brother” cliche which can be seen in a lot of animes. Likewise, Sora is a wonderful protagonist and the way he adores and actually listens to Riku makes me want to give Riku a thumbs up:

Good job, Riku, on somewhat-raising Sora. He’s wonderful in a million amazing ways~

I know Sora has parents alright, im just messing around~

And so, as I write this, I will be viewing Sora and Riku in a very platonic manner. These two are close to the point of being real brother’s, and since Kairi does play a part in their relationship, she will be mentioned here and there.

Just know that even if you ship SoRiku and I ship SoKai, doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy this list! This is a BroTP post, not an OTP post, but you may find one of the reasons you ship SoRiku on here even if I have a different understanding of the moment in question.

I will be leaving comments open, with one request: you may say whatever you like in response to this post so as long as you are respectful about it. So please, no character bashing, no ship bashing, and definitely no harassment or bullying. I will block any guilty party and/or close the comments for this post.

10) Encounter in the Land of Dragons

Sora spends the majority of KH2 looking for Riku, and eventually, Kairi. By the time he makes his second trip to “The Land of Dragons” (I’m super tempted to write China, here) Sora has still yet to encounter Riku despite all the extra behind-the-scenes help Riku keeps giving him.

They finally run into each other here, but Sora assumes its a member of Org XIII given what he seems to be doing and what he is wearing. Riku casually warns Sora to watch his back by pointing at the heartless, which Sora then takes out. After the fight, Riku makes this hilarious gesture, like he’s saying “well, look at that. You’ve become so dependable,” then runs off. Sora gives chase until losing sight of him at which point he wonders aloud:

“That guy...”

“No...! Why... Would he...?”

Sora thinks that it’s Riku he just met, and kinda reaches for him as he calls his name. He says “Riku?” in a way that doesn’t hide how cautiously hopeful he is, and is overjoyed later when he hears from the emperor that the guy in the black coat “was kinda rude.”

Sora, YOU’RE a little rude.

9) Riku demands to know what Diz wants (with Sora)

Diz is a pretty suspicious character, and Riku trusts him about as far as he can throw him. Unfortunately, the only people Riku trusts implicitly are comatose, absent, or far away. He can’t wake Sora up on his own, so he begrudgingly accepts Diz’s help.

Near the end of Sora’s reconstruction, Diz expresses his thoughts over Sora waking up in a way that’s... mildly creepy.

Diz doesn’t really care for Sora as a person. He’s a means to an end. Riku isn’t stupid--he can tell. His priority is doing everything he can to help Sora wake up. But the minute Diz says Sora’s name--in a tone that makes it abundantly clear he is being used, like Roxas is--Riku takes a seat like “Don’t you f***ing dare. What do you want with us, anyway?” And says the polite version of that.

8) Riku visits Namine

I’m not sure whether Riku knew to go see Namine on his own, or if he was summoned there by Diz. But either way, Sora’s awakening is taking way too long.

After leaving Castle Oblivion, Riku began investigating the Organization since they literally forced Sora into an indefinite, comatose state. Namine promised to look after Sora, and when they meet again, Riku, gently, but firmly, reminds her of this, as if to ask “What’s taking so long?”

There can’t be a good reason, so he needs to know. That way, he can help.

Unfortunately, the situation is that some of Sora’s memories currently reside in two different people. Namine carefully explains that there is no way to help Sora without harming them, and if they try to do that anyway, Sora will wake up only to realize no one remembers him.

Here, the camera shifts from Namine to Riku while keeping that one line on the screen, making it clear that’s not an option for them. Sora cannot wake up to find out he’s been forgotten--they are not willing to risk that.

This leaves just the worst possible option, and that is to kill two people.

A role which Riku now resigns himself to.

This might have been higher on the list if not for how SAD it is... For everyone involved.

7) Sora remembers how they grew up together

KH1′s ending broke a lot of hearts (cough not as much as III cough) and final mix’s version just twisted the knife with this little scene. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do not remember seeing this little Sora-flashback first time around.

The door has been shut and locked, leaving Riku and Mickey stranded in the Dark Realm. Sora looks on as he recalls his childhood spent growing up alongside Riku, how they laughed and ran together, and this scene couldn’t possibly be more heart wrenching--

Hears Project Destatis D.B. themes and variations playing in the background~

👏Thank👏you👏Everglow👏

You, too @projectdestati

6) Sora and Riku fight the final battle together

I love all the little scenes in this fight.

You get a lot of these two protecting/supporting each other here.

At one point, Sora is nabbed by Xemnas and is having his HP drained, and you get to fight as Riku in order to free him.

When Xemnas starts firing those light-rods or whatever they’re called at Sora and Riku, the boys stand back to back as they deflect them.

This leaves them so drained that Xemnas is able to kick Riku back and attack Sora, but Riku pulls Sora out of the way AND TAKES THE HIT HIMSELF.

Sora and Riku use their combined strength to shoot Xemnas out of the sky.

And on top of all that, you get this:

SORA AND RIKU STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT TO FIST BUMP!!!! This is canon. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!

It’s as if they’re each telling the other:

“No worries! I’m here.”

5) Riku meets Xion (twice)

For the sake of keeping this list to my top ten, I’m including Riku’s first and second meetings with Xion as one reason. I know, I know, I’m kind of cheating, but I really can’t choose between these two.

While investigating Org XIII, Riku must wear their coat. It allows him to move about without detection. Ironically, this also gets their attention since he’s Riku, he’s not one of their members, and he’s clearly opposed to them. They send Xion to take him out, but he defeats her and is both disturbed and concerned by her appearance.

Xion demands to know why Riku is dressed as one of them, and he answers:

“To make sure my best friend... Sleeps in peace.”

Riku is determined to protect Sora, who is vulnerable in his sleeping state, no matter what Riku is forced to wear, or who he transforms into. This may partly be due to the fact that:

Riku was the one who opened the DTD and destroyed the islands.

Riku is the reason Kairi’s heart was separated from her body and went into Sora’s for shelter.

And Sora ultimately had to stab himself through the heart to free her and complete the keyhole in Hollow Bastion.

And all of this led to the creation of Roxas, Sora’s Nobody, being born. Sora wouldn’t even be in this mess if it weren’t for Riku’s actions. Heck, without Riku, Sora never would’ve gotten the keyblade, which has made Sora a huge target for Org XIII. Riku carries that guilt with him everywhere he goes throughout Days, as he struggles to help Namine complete Sora’s reconstruction.

The next time Riku meets Xion, she’s run off from the Organization because she learned what she really was. She tries to ask Riku where Sora is and he outright tells her:

“That secret stays with me.”

Riku says this in a way that makes it clear he would die before he handed Sora over to the enemy, and isn’t willing to risk Sora’s safety for anything.

Riku, buddy, you’re a priority, too.

He never blamed Xion or Roxas for the Organization’s actions, though, because just like Sora, these two were being used. So when Xion asks “Do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?” Riku’s answer is:

“Nah... I guess I’m just sad.”

Me:

Xion is the reason Sora cannot wake up! On top of that, because Xion exists, Riku must see to it that both she and Roxas meet their ends if he ever wants to see Sora again. And despite all that, Riku doesn’t hate her.

5) “Don’t be so reckless. Do you want to end up like Riku?”

Halfway through KH2, Saix implies that Riku has ended up in a dire situation, causing Sora to react with alarm. As far as Saix knows, Riku was taken out by Roxas, and he’s more than happy to let that slip to Sora who has been searching everywhere for him.

With or without his memories of C.O., Sora’s last real memory of Riku is watching him be trapped in the Dark Realm when they closed the door together.

The Dark Realm is basically the KH version of Hell, and it’s not the place for hearts of light residing within still-living individuals. From what Sora’s seen of the Dark Realm, it is crawling with dark sides, and even if there is a light within the darkness, the Dark Realm is not a safe place to be.

So hearing Saix say “Do you want to end up like Riku?” has a pretty powerful impact on him. Aside from his own firm belief in Riku’s strength, Sora has been given every reason to believe Riku is dead. There’s no sign of him anywhere, no word of him from anyone, and the last place he was seen in is a relatively fatal environment.

And now he has even less reason to hope Riku is still alive.

4) Riku rescues Sora in 3D

Say what you will about 3D, but the bro feels are HEAVY in this game.

Once again, Sora is lured into one of the Organizations traps.

And again Riku attempts to protect him from this trap.

Again, he failed to reach Sora in time. It is only with the help of Donald, Goofy, Mickey, and Axel that he is able to retrieve Sora before it is too late.

Sora’s heart was trapped in darkest abyss, leaving Sora’s empty body in a sleeping state, similar to what Ven suffered through for over a decade. Yen Sid theorizes that Riku, who unlocked the seven sleeping keyholes within Sora’s dreams, now has the ability to retrieve Sora’s heart and wake him from his sleep.

Come to think, maybe this has something to do with why we see Riku looking for Sora in the KH3 secret movie instead of Kairi?

It’s insanely dangerous to venture into the abyss, but Riku goes anyway and is successful in rescuing Sora.

3) Did I mention that Sora called for Riku when YMX nabbed him?

Sora’s afraid! He’s steeming in darkness and he’s struggling to keep his eyes open because he knows there’s a chance this will be the last thing he sees! He’s aware that if his body is turned into a vessel, he’ll be used to hurt Riku, Kairi, and everyone else he loves.

So what does he do? He calls for Riku!

Riku has been taking the exam with him, and if there’s anyone who can pull him out of this mess its Riku, the same person who has almost always come to his rescue.

And Riku does that just that.

I actually really enjoyed 3D just because it was fairly dark, and heroes can’t succeed all the time. Plus, Riku got to play the role of the one who has Sora’s back no matter what and was rewarded with the title of Keyblade Master for his trouble.

Sora deserves to be Master, too--

2) Kairi reunites Sora and Riku in TWTNW

This scene has me in tears, even now.

As mentioned before, Sora has been given every reason to believe Riku is dead.

He saw someone in the Land of Dragons who was using Riku's keyblade, and was kind of acting like Riku. But was that really him? Or just another member of Org XIII messing with him?

What did Saix mean when he warned Sora not to be reckless like Riku was?

King Mickey made a promise to Riku, but what sort of promise? And why won’t he say anything about Riku?

What happened?

Where is he?

Thanks to Kairi, Sora is able to reunite with Riku properly. Riku wasn’t even going to say anything to Sora--he still feels ashamed of himself for betraying Sora, and for looking the way he does. But Kairi takes both boys hands and has Sora close his eyes, and Sora is able to finally figure it out:

Riku was always close by, helping him. He just looks a little different.

Sora raises his head, and his eyes first widen then scrunch up as the tears come.

He takes Riku’s hand and falls to his knees.

Once he’s down there, he can’t hold himself together anymore and just starts weeping.

This is part of the reason people ship SoRiku at all, and heck, I might have too if not for SoKai and the fact that Sora is a super affectionate person.

Also, it’s pretty clear by how relieved and tearful Sora is that he more-or-less believed Riku was gone. He looked for him, but couldn’t find him anywhere. The organization loves to mess with him--maybe that guy who was behaving like Riku in the Land of Dragon’s killed him and stole his sword. Maybe the reason Mickey won’t say anything is because the truth is too much.

I have best friends that I’ve grown up with, too. If they were to vanish like Riku did, and I went from country to country in search of them, and then if I finally found them after being told everywhere I went that they were gone... Well, I’d be more of a mess than Sora because I’m not as strong as him.

Sora manages to choke out that he looked ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE for Riku. To which Riku answers:

This earns a shocked little gasp from Sora, because it’s kind of a slap in the face to Sora’s efforts to locate Riku.

Not that Riku is trying to be cruel here. Sora doesn’t understand yet that Riku only pushed him away in order to protect him. And when Sora demands, “Why didn’t you let me know you were okay?” Riku calmly explains that he couldn’t stand for Sora and Kairi to see him like this, with Heartless Ansem’s face. The face of the man that possessed him and nearly killed Sora and Kairi.

But they don’t care what he looks like, because it’s still Riku on the inside.

1) Riku protects Sora in KH3

Gosh, this was such a heavy moment.

Sora and Riku were just forced to watch as all their friends were whisked away into the Demon Tide. The last person to go was Kairi, and once she’s gone, Sora falls to his knees lets out a scream that destroyed me physically, emotionally, and mentally.

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We have never seen this side of Sora before, and neither has Riku. Just after Kairi is taken away, Riku is standing nearby, staring out at the demon tide, apparently in shock. We can’t see his face, but Riku grew up with Kairi, too, and he’s clearly distressed by what just happened.

But Sora screams his heart out and Riku immediately rushes to his side. He kneels and listens as Sora gives up and claims he is worthless without the others. Riku’s expression is soft at first but slowly hardens, and after Sora cries over his failure, Riku quietly gets up and tells him:

“Sora, you don’t believe that.”

“I know you don’t.”

Riku then walks forward without another word, and singlehandedly keeps the demon tide at bay.

Sora cannot find the strength to get up and help, but Riku doesn’t yield. He screams in defiance as the shadows overtake him, determined to protect Sora until the end.

Overall, I just really like how Riku has Sora’s back no matter what and how Sora quietly acknowledges that in KH3 when comparing Riku and himself to Anna and Elsa:

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These two are bros for life.

#Sora #Riku #Kairi #Elsa #Anna #Kingdom Hearts #video game series #brotp #bros for life #i love these boys #riku is sexy and important #sora is literal susnhine

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theconstellationsinyourskin · 5 years

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Every number that has a "1" in it

1. “is a kiss considered cheating” i mean like. if it’s like a party game or whatever then no lmfao. otherwise probably yea, but like, pretty low on the seriousness of it imo. i dont know how non-polyam people work tho and it’s literally impossible to cheat on me because i’ll just b like “why didnt you trust me enough to tell me, i would have been happy for you ;-;” lmfao

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?every interaction i have is full of minor excitements and disappointments. currently my father is at the top of the list though, he’s not a flat earther but he is a 9/11 truther and brought up lizard people

11. Do you like your body?sure? I know I’m cute, and I’m pretty much near-constantly in pain and/or nausea, but I’m pretty indifferent to my body as like, having feelings towards it. It sure is my body!

12. Can you keep a diet?no, why would I?

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?i would panic and go nonverbal tf you mean? lmfao. I’d probably start ranting incoherently about anarchism though

14. do.....do i work? bitch? do I work? im on my 10th day in a row of working shut up lmfao. (i work at subway, for those of u not in-the-know)

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?marie callender’s (im looking at the box ive been spelling it wrong this whole time) chicken pot pies. ideally the bacon cheddar ones but i understand if that is not accessible

16. Would you get a tattoo?i want a snail tattoo so badly .... i figured out where i want it, too. i want it on my left wrist (palm side). im crying thinking about it

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?the music game i play, apparently. i just got a 3-month subscription for 20 bucks. i think that puts me at like 80 bucks ive spent on this game in the past 3 years. lanota is just too good. i was gonna say like rent or car but like, i DO mind those, fuck capitalism

18. Can you drive?legally, yes, with a licensed passenger aged 21+. physically? no

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?i think my mom is the only person who’s ever said that specific word to me, but my partner called me pretty like three days ago

21. Do you keep a journal?don’t have the willpower for that lolz. I do sometimes but only for like days or at max a month

31. Something you did and you are proud of?Moved out of my mom’s house the moment I turned 18. I’m hella fuckin proud of that lmfao

41. What was the last concert you went to?Muse in Boston, back in April

51. Who are you most comfortable around?my partner lol, and like one or two of my other friends

61. Something you find romantic?hand-to-cheek contact is the most intimate possible physical interaction. god forbid it be both hands/cheeks. it’s very romantic and soft and i would absolutely melt if anybody ever did that to me

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?can’t think of anything in particular but I’m sure I have. I get passive-aggressive with customers pretty often so I’m sure that counts.

81. How long have you been on Tumblr?since like, october 2015 or something like that

91. Perfect date idea?I always spring for the “go to the park and have a picnic” idea myself, when the topic of dating comes up. Going to the movies or loud restaurants sucks because you can’t talk, cafes are kind of awkward because I feel like somebody is gonna eavesdrop. I’m sure there’s something more creative you could do--idk, a museum or whatever local tourist spot or something, but that’s so location-based that I can’t really give that as an answer to a generic question like this. Picnics are intimate, calm, private. It’s not great as a first date for this reason but it’s lovely for a steady relationship.

100. Can you keep a secret?Of course. My primary skill is being good at talking to people, and one of my favorite things to do is get to know people. It would be kind of silly to sabotage that by telling everybody’s secrets.

#personal post

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xo-dailypier-blog · 5 years

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this is not a recap;

hey cumguzzlers,

It has come to my attention that Lady X took it upon herself to rate the nether regions of the men of Santa Monica. Unfortunately her assessment was BIASED and hardly based on facts. So as a JOURNALIST, I have taken it upon myself to get to the TRUTH. Today will be a Top 9 list of the men in this town, and their BEDROOM PERFORMANCES.

I’m not revealing actual sizes, because I firmly believe that it’s all about the motion of the ocean. And if you think I’m giving a run down on every SCRUB in this town, you’re out of your mind! I WISH I could have made this a Top 10 but most of the guys on Lady X’s assessment, have already been exposed in the fuck hut tapes during Summer Crush, and honestly? Don’t even make the cut for the top 5. Like, we KNOW the #DemonDick is low-key worth the hype (BUT YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM IT BECAUSE HELLO? IT RUINED TWO RELATIONSHIPS IN LIKE THE SPAN OF A DAY! AND IM SURE THE BUCK DOESNT STOP THERE!), and we GET IT, Adam has a massive ROD, and I’m sure (Power Top) Asher, his brother, isn’t that far off. Vic IS well endowed AND can make things EROTIC. And we all know about Jack, who is also well endowed but has, like, erectile dysfunction or whatever. Oh, and don’t forget Daddy Sorrentino is obvs a beast in the sheets, but I’ve been telling you guys that since, like, ever. And I’m honestly on a Jamie/Cunty Sabbatical atm, they’re going through a difficult time after Cunty cheated, so who really needs their dick-info broadcasted on top of all that, ya know? (Cunty deff comes in at an alleged 9 inches, which is bigger than Jamie, BUT he (Cunty) never uses his junk on Jamie because, like Asher, Jamie is a Power Top. (but you didn’t hear this from me). Look, if any guy is left off the list that you have interest in, like, just ask Phobe. I’m sure she’ll know.

But before we get started, Congratulations are in order! You guys voted on Hottie of the Moment, and we have a winner!

It’s none other than Miss Fraudi Zirconium herself (@heidistarks) The queen of bargains has stormed onto the scene in her Wild Fable Couture and has CAPTIVATED the hearts of all Santa Monicans. In honor of her win, I am giving everyone a $25 gift card to Claire’s! If you go to their website and use offer code SharkThot, you too, can get the Heidi Look. When asked about her recent accomplishment she had this to say:

"It's about fucking time." - Fraudi Zirconium Stark, 2019

Congratulations, again Fraudi! You go girl, work that Forever 21 tracksuit, bitch!

NINE - ALEC CLARKE @alecxclarke

One of the wangs in question that Lady X TOUCHED ON was Alec Clarke. She mentioned that Alec was more than likely LACKING in the his SOUTHERN MEAT DEPARTMENT. So obvs i had a BONE to pick with this assessment because Alec’s fan base is GETTING UP there with Jamie Carter’s so we have to know what he got in them jeans. Sadly ... while his junk is fine. His way around the bedroom is is abysmal, I honestly thought it was a PHALL-ACY but one girl who is one of his past flings, wrote to me after seeing Lady X’s post. She has asked to remain anonymous...

Hey DP (and Lady X),

I saw your post about Alec and you’re wrong about his size. He’s actually pretty girthy and lengthy or whatever. But he is honestly one of my worst encounters. We met on a dating app, that shall remain nameless. So fast forward to sexy time, and once we started making out it was a tragedy! No tongue, no passion. It was like kissing a mcfucking corpse! His lips were like, so dry, but, whatever, that’s not the problem. Once I started giving him a blow jay he just randomly burst into tears, and said he couldn’t do it anymore, and asked if I wanted to play fucking Yahtzee. I left and bought Listerine. I think you should look into if he is like this with all the girls, instead of his size. Bc that’s the real tea. Anyways, Love the Blog! Kisses!

Its always such a disappointment when this happens. OBVIOUSLY our HoneyBun Alec has some issues to work on. I know he has a Crazy life but I didn’t think things were this HARD for him.

Overall Rating: N/A

Favorite Position: Again, N/A. I could hardly find girls who’ve had sex with him ................. INCHresting. (Ok, that was the last one).

Downside: I mean, Hello? He breaks out in tears mid-coitus! He IS the downside!

Alec! Write into us with your side of the story! I prom (half a promise) that I won’t believe the rumors. Love ya, Honey Bun!

EIGHT - SKYLER DAVIS @skylerxdavis

No idea where Lady X got the idea that he had the biggest LOVE MISSLE in town, but it is absolutely FALSE. And in fact, what I’ve heard about his performance in the bedzzzZzZzZzzzzzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzZzZzzzz ZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Overall Rating: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Favorite Position: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Downside: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Alleged Body Count: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

SEVEN - NOAH SINCLAIR @nhsinclair

So next on the list is Noah Sinclair. This one will be brief, because it really threw me for a loop. So I’m sorry to report, that Noah has a Chode. I know. I’m actually crying while typing this but this is only the word on the street, so take it with a grain of salt.

“Darla” (fake name) wrote in to my blog to refute Lady X’s claims. She writes:

I’ve had half way sex with Noah one time and when he dropped his pants I literally laughed. Not to body shame or whatever, but I, like, couldn’t have sex with him because the condom didn’t fit. Sorry, didn’t have a Trojan Jr readily available? He’s good with his hands though.

So Noah has made the list in a sad and unfortunate entry. So ladies if you want Noah to DIP his NUGGET in YOUR sauce, you better make your move!

Maybe this is why he got that divorce. Ugh, poor Natasha. Let’s hope this is all a rumor, I would hate for it to be true.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (The hand thing is kind of important).

Favorite Position: Noah’s Nugget Number (No clue what this means, ask Diana or Natasha).

Downside: There is no downside if you, like myself, are privy to a good Nugget or two. #RanchPlease

MOVING ON!

SIX - LOGAN LANCASTER @loganlancaster

Our next entry is none other than Long Dick Logan Lancaster. According to Lady X, Logan is average. Well I’m here to let you know that, thankfully, LDL lives up to his name (no nuggets here!). But you guys would have to get with him to truly find out how #blessed he is.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: Alligator Fuckhouse, according to sources. (DON’T Google it, live in ignorance).

Downside: The only reason, ya boi has gotten 4 stars instead of 5 is because of the rumors surrounding his hygiene. As we know, there’s been a debate on the internet about washing your legs. And Logan, an able bodied man, doesn’t do that. Nor does he take showers the way that he should. Many girls who’ve been with him have complained of smelling the stinch of onions and mildew while ENGAGING with him. Others have complained of a SALTY taste while going down on him. Most of the girls he’s BANGED have all been in the junkyard of his Auto Shop or whatever so maybe it’s a fetish for them? That’s no excuse for bringing that nasty ass behavior to every other girl in Santa Monica.

Thankfully a bunch of you have been sending body wash to his shop, so maybe we can LanCAST the mustiness away (If this is true).

Logan, please write in, I need to know the truth. But other than that, the dick is BOMB! But make sure you don’t over-do it on B.J. part though, sodium intake is v important and you wouldn’t want to get hypertension suckling on his salty ass COCK.

FIVE - EMRE YOGIOH @emre--yavuz

Ok, so next on the list is Emre Yugoslavia (or whatever his name is). Ok so ... buckle in ladies.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: The Lion King (I’m serious, don’t Google these things).

Downside: Ok, so Emre is supposedly into bondage. Which totally makes sense since he’s like, repressed from childhood. The whole missing sister thing really took a toll on his psych, since he’s parents totes forgot about him. Now he YEARNS for control. So the word is that he’s basically Christian Grey but not a literal abuser. He’s into bondage, slapping, SPITTING, choking, flogging, and whips and chains EXCITE HIM. An S&M Daddy! Now the only reason this is in the Downside section is because it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Some girls find it disturbing, and others are totes into it. I’m the latter! Sign me the FUCK up! Choke me with those strong REPRESSED hands.

I noticed he and Olivia have been friendly recently, let’s hope she knows that she’ll be walking side to side after a night with him (no, but like, because of the flogging, not the dick). Once he’s done with those spread sheets at his hoity-toity big boy job, spread sheets take on a whole new meaning once the dawn comes. You go Emre Yahooligan! #callme

FOUR - DEVIN FLORES @devinxflores

First of all, I just want to give a big thanks to all of you for letting me call him Devin TORRES for the past few MONTHS like a complete MORON! I really appreciate you guys letting me disgrace the future KING of Santa Monica in such a terrible way! No really, you guys are the best. I love my fans <3.

Anyways, it’s well known that Devin and his Alaskan Bull Worm have burrowed through the city. Both the men and women alike have survived the DF experience, with ZERO complaints .... well, except for one ...

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: The Charizard (ONCE again, don’t Google. Just know that it involves fire ... And we aint talking about lighting no candles (which he allegedly seems to enjoy, how romantic!)).

Downside: As we have witnessed, Devin is a complete and total klutz! He is always getting himself into a bullshit that is literally all his fault. Didn’t he glue something to his head a few weeks ago -- actually, you know what? That’s not important. What I was getting at is, the main complaint about DaddyDevinFLORES is that during SACX the klutz JUMPS OUT. He has been rumored to have smacked his head on the headboard whilst switching positions (causing him to go UNCONSCIOUS for SEVERAL HOURS, which completely RUINS the mood). One of his Encounters even claimed that during a Romantic Toast of Wine, he clinked the glass so hard it broke and and SHARDS of GLASS went into his hands, causing him to bleed INSTANTLY. What the fuck, Devin?

How could someone who can handle balls so well out on the soccer court, not be able to handle them in the bedroom without accidentally falling out of a window in the process?

Ladies and Gents, much like Emre, Devin will have you walking Side to Side, but if it happens you might be suffering from brain damage after falling in the shower whilst trying to have sex with him. Please seek professional help immediately.

THREE - BERNBERN<3 @carverberncrd

Coming in at Number 3 is none other than Heidi’s personal play thing! We’ve seen his bulge through his Under Armour spanks, so Of Course I had to do a little research to find out the Lipton on HIS heat-seeker. I’ve reached out to his past flings and came to a general consensus.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The women I interviewed all confirmed he is an excellent LAY, so once again, I was right. BernBern<3 outsold your favs.

Favorite Position: Doggystyle (obvi)

Downside: He’s a Taurus so while he will indeed fuck you into a state of paralysis, it’s only to reach his Hedonistic Quota for the evening. He probs won’t even remember your name once he’s done, let alone learn it in the first place. So don’t get attached<3.

His star sign also explains his relationship with Fraudi. Not only are they both so annoyingly stubborn, but Two tops can rarely make it in a relationship. Just ask Ash — never mind. (Omg, btw Idk WHY everyone keeps asking. YES, the rumors are true! BernBern<3 gets pegged, but only by Heidi, it’s actually a testament to his masculinity and how he’s reached the apex of it at this point. But this is all old tea. So I guess Julian isn’t the only #DemonDick in the Stark Fam, Surprise?). Anyways, I ship them, but they get on my fucking nerves! They can’t even admit their undying love for each other, which is so obvious. But this isn’t about #Berni (working ship name), BernBern<3 has a massive COCK (and heart) and it has landed itself on the Top of the list.

TWO - SINRIQUE @itsenriqueaguilar

This one came as a surprise to me because I have no idea who this is. But yalls asses do! So here we have Enrique Aguilar, coming in at number 2 because of the OUTPOUR of receipts on the TALLY WACK ATTACK that he PACKS.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: You know, there wasn’t a general consensus, he’s a man FULL of surprises.

Downside: No, you don’t understand, there is literally no downside. Look, here is a letter from one of the women he’s slept with. For reasons, you will understand REAL soon, this person has been kept anonymous.

Dear DP,

It’s been approximately 1 year, two months, 9 days, 5 hours, and 46 seconds since I Locked Eyes with Enrique from across a crowded room. That night would go to be on of the most invigorating, tantalizing, and romantic experiences of my life. But when I woke up the following morning HE was gone. I long for the day I see him again. My heart Aches at the thought of him with another women. Giving her the same love that HE gave to ME. I need you to understand that I was a grade A student at my university (4.0). I had an paid internship at an elite institution that OWULD HAVE LED ME INTO A PROMISING CAREER! BUT AFTER THAT NIGHT I BECAME RAVENOUS. I NEEDED MORE. AND IT CONSUMED ME! EVENTUALLY I LOST MY INTERN BECAUSE I STOPPED SHOWING UP! I FLUNKED OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE I DIDN’T CARE ANYMORE. I SEARCHED YOU ON ALL SOCIAL MEDIA BUT I COULDN’T FIND YOU! ENRIQUE I NEED YOU BACK IN MY LIFE! JUST FOR ONE MORE NIGHT! PEASE I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE! CALL ME AT [redacted]

Obviously Ivy, sent this in ... kidding (But honestly though? They did used to date, which ... yikes ... Good to know Daddy Rique has no standards, maybe we all have a chance. #shade #clapback #scalpt)

Anyways, I’ll have to keep an eye on this one, he seems to have a good head on his shoulders ... AND good head on his shoulders OKURRRRRR!!!

ONE - SEBASTIAN DELGADO @bashdelgado

That nerd that sat in the back of the classroom brainstorm his next nerdy ass invention with high-watered khakis, and orthopedic shoes in like, the ninth grade (because he was focused on Arch Support???????). That’s him, Sebastian Delgado. And Baby Daddy Bash has DITCHED the NERD LOOK and is now ready to SNATCH YOUR CAT BACK.

I’m sure everyone is just surprised as I am. But hey, they don’t call him “Bash” for nothing (except for the fact that it’s a shortened version of his name). He’s totes Bashing Puss with his MONSTROUS MEAT TRUNCHEON (and Buss?? Sebastian contact me about your sexuality).

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: Missionary, he’s a man of passion and likes to stare DEEP into your eyes. #swoon #romantic #westan

Downside: Well if you HATE Love and AFFECTION, this one is not the one for you. Not only does he have a GINORMOUS, UN-NUGGETED MEAT SEPTOR/LAP ROCKET/VAGINA MINER, which, by the way, last a LONG time, He is EXCELLENT BOYFRIEND Material! He’s caring, patient, kind, resourceful, loyal, and he is well on his way to becoming a multi-millionaire -- which is NOT the reason he is number one! Money is not the goal here ladies (and guys? Seriously Sebastian, I need to know what’s up).

Sebastian is the complete package and he has ALL of the other guys in this town QUAKING!

So Stan A True Man. Stan .... Sebastian.

And that, my friends, ends the TRUE tea on the wangs in this town. This was fun while it lasted, but I have some COCKtails that need my attention (ok, maybe THAT was the last one).

xo, DP

#santamgossip #abuse tw #blood tw #I LITERALLY SIT AROUND AND MAKE HEADCANNONS ABOUT YALLS CHARACTERS NO ONE ASKED FOR #IM LIKE JK ROWLING BUT POOR #IM TRULY THE WEAKEST LINK

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shrimpcolour · 5 years

Note

answer them all coward

take two after closing the tab when i was almost done w every question im gonna fucking lose my shit

angel; do you have a nickname?

people call me nicknames but i hate any variation of taylor

awe; how old are you?

baby; favorite color?

lilac

bloop; spirit animal?

kitten

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

Fahrenheit 451 im1 shes so man matchbox 20

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

my lamby who i still sleep w everynight bc i am baby

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

getting told i can keep my cats

bright; mermaids or fairies?

fairies all the way

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

not so sure i do

buttercup; showers or baths?

shower

butterfly; dream destination?

anywhere outside of the us

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

no but i wish i was

calm; favorite scent?

vanilla

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

some fuckshit on the beach

charming; have you ever been in love?

yes

cozy; eye/hair color?

blue/brown

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

time is fake

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

hibiscus

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

money like a lot

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

my kitten lucifer but saying i own him sounds weird

cutsie; what makes you happy?

jillie

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

i cant remember

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

i want to be remembered as nice? kind? please .

daylight; favorite album of all time?

kindly now by keaten henson

dear; zodiac sign?

scorpio

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts but i love museums

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes but i didnt send it

dobby; dream job?

something that has to do w art

doll; how do you like to dress?

i like to dress in a cute button up and jeans but that doesnt happen

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

no but i wish so bad

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

yes i want many tattoos and on my 18th im going w my dad to get one

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

fuck yeah

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

i love my sister so much she is my literal will to live she is so fukcing funny and happy and just UGHHH shoutout to kaylleee

fairy; do you have a pet?

yes i have two cats, boots and lucifer, and a dog named finn

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

ocean is where its at

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the park near me at night

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

sadly not

garden; how many languages do you know?

one bc im weak

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

not tagging them but like . cmon . yk

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

that warm cozy library aesthetic ? i love that

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i love them bc it gives me the opportunity to talk to ppl who are too scared to talk to me (please dont be scared of me)

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

my eyes my hair my sense of humor my friends my socks

heart; silk or lace?

silk

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

coffee w almond milk

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

people watching bc i like to give everyone a story in my head

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

melatonin LMAO

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

rainy and cold

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

sleep my life away

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

loud laugh baeby

kinky; do you blush easily?

i dont think so

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

that friends to lovers mutual pining takes a little bit to realize what they want is right in front of them i love that

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

1am-8am

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

keaten henson

love; what is your favorite season and why?

fall bc the weather and the holidays and my job ITS ALL TOO GOOD

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

i have never had a macaron but i love oreo iceceram

magic; what are five flaws you have?

i overthink AND underthink at the same time like what a dumbass bitch, i doubt myself, i am not so bright, i am too loud around ppl im comfortable with and i am selfish sometimes

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

i like all of them it depends on my mood

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

i dont really look?

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

minecraft and sweatpants

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on minecraft or on here or just like . sitting

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

dont judge a book by its cover is so fucking cliche but like . you gotta learn it

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook baeby

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

lazy oops

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

i played the flute when i was like 10

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

scream

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

strawberry/sweet pepper

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

“so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

my sister being born

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

the loss of all my friends bc im fucking stupid. thats the one.

shine; art or music?

both

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

they do

smitten; do you collect anything?

i collect disney pins

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

one? two?

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

kitkats

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

i do but i dont know what kind and idk where it is

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

i wear earrings and a necklace sometimes

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

with head phones but too loud so you can probably hear it without

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

hannah montana baeby

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

my bed. it has so many blankets and its quiet bc of the AC and it has my favorite things

soothe; digital or vinyl?

digital

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

my best friend francesca like a lot

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

practical?

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

no i dont think ive ever completely opened up if im being honest

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

i do! i want two kids!

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

this is gonna sound so fucking dumb but i really look up to jenna mourey/jenna marbles

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

idk man im quite basic

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

im very loyal but i tend to hold a grudge so like . thats an issue

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

tina made me laugh shoutout to tina

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owl

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

invisibility baeby

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

no but i like doing it

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy oops

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

i like my town but i dont think i wanna lvie here

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

yes i have

#cheers i did it after almost losing my mind #if anyone reads any of this i am sorry and you get a gold star #driftingbarnes

3 notes · View notes

boisheviks · 5 years

Note

Do everything that you haven't already done

thanks owobiwan

angel; do you have a nickname? no not rly

awe; how old are you? 18

baby; favorite color? either red or blue

bloop; spirit animal? red panda

blossom; favorite book/movie/song? havent read a book in years, into the spiderverse was a really good movie (just saw it yesterday, 11/10 would recommend PLEASE SEE IT IF YOU HAVENT), tbh idk what my favorite song is but my favorite band is p!atd

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child? hmmm i guess my first major stuffed animal was a bunny. i also had a lot of dogs

bright; mermaids or fairies? both??

bubbles; do you have a best friend? yea (:

buttercup; showers or baths? showers

butterfly; dream destination? japan

buttons; are you religious or spiritual? uhhhh?????? neither???? i guess spiritual if i had to pick

candlelight; what did you dream about last night? i dont remember most of my dreams unless something significant happened so idk

charming; have you ever been in love? nah

cozy; eye/hair color? brown and black respectively

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period? uhhh now i guess? although trump sucks so bad timeline

cupcake; favorite flower/plant? plants that grow fruit

cute; what did you get on your last birthday? iphone x

cutie pie; most precious item you own? my iphone x lol

cutsie; what makes you happy? talking to my friends

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free. when i came home from college for winter break lmao thank god no homework or studying i dont want to go back

daylight; favorite album of all time? oof uhhh i guess the wall by pink floyd

dear; zodiac sign? aries

delightful; concerts or museums? concerts but museums can be cool

dimples; have you ever written a letter? ..yes? lmao

dobby; dream job? something in cybersecurity would be cool

doll; how do you like to dress? tshirt and jeans, with a jacket if its cold

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences? nope

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos? no tattoos and currently not rly interested in getting any anytime soon

euphoric; talk about someone you love. i love my parents theyre great

fairy; do you have a pet? i have a fish!

forever; where do you feel time stop? where…??? idk

froglet; are you a good plant owner? LMAO i was until i forgot about my plant for a solid week. but in my dorm my plant was one of the nicest looking ones so rip plant

garden; how many languages do you know? 2 if u count my horrible chinese that i learned in high school

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice? sunsets and what the sky looks like

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not? sure. i mean i dont rly get any in the first place but lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

1. I’m funny (i hope anyways)

2. I’m smart (kinda)

3. I’m strong

4. I’m understanding

5. I’m good at playing music (lol i literally could not think of anything else yikes)

heart; silk or lace? silk

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it? coffee, only if its in the form of a frappuccino

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why? people, mainly bc its funny to watch them sometimes

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep? no sounds in general

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather? sunny

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends? sleep

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more? probably laugh loudly id say

kinky; do you blush easily? i dont think so

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most? to have someone love me (wow i live a sad life)

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad? idk i will listen to the same music no matter how i feel

love; what is your favorite season and why? summer bc no school and its warm

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream? i dont eat macarons much but as for ice cream i guess smores

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks? hmm i guess i like looking at soft pastels but cool darks are also nice

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date? actually going on one haha

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself? sleeping and talking to friends

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life? dont procrastinate for too long (i say as i procrastinate writing thank you cards whoops)

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more? bake

prince; how would you describe your handwriting? ugly but surprisingly legible

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play? yup i play lots

prinky; how do you relieve stress? listening to music

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable? mangoes

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read? tbh i dont even remember the last book i read

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far? this is sad but probably getting into college and going to college

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you? tbh probably getting an internship since i kinda (??) have a guaranteed job once i get out of college as long as i dont mess up so yea knocking on wood rn

shine; art or music? music but i love art as well

smitten; do you collect anything? not really although i used to collect state quarters (now theyre like presidents and important locations or something)

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with? 1 usually but i can also sleep without a pillow

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind? does my phone count

sparkle; do you wear jewelry? yea usually ill wear a watch and a necklace

spooky; sunrise or sunset? sunset, i cant get up for the sunrise anyways

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones? headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child? funny story but i think barney was my favorite show when i was rly young. but then i guess when i got older (elementary school) probably the mythbusters

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house. my desk where my computer is. its often a mess but i spend the most time there

soothe; digital or vinyl? vinyl bc im such a hipster wow i dont even own any vinyl (my dad has a bunch of records tho)

squeezed; who do you miss right now? all my college pals :(

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends? people who will laugh at my awful jokes and will tolerate me and listen to me i guess

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing? aesthetically pleasing who needs things to be practical and useful anyways lol

sweet; do you find it easy to open up? nope lol it be like that sometimes

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any? eh kids are ok but can also be kinda annoying so idk if id ever want any/be fit to have any anyways lol. id probably adopt tho

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they? yup and its the person who gave me all of these to answer smh

tootsie; what kind of friend are you? one who will probably make fun of u too much but will also listen to u when u need it

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl? night owl for sure

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out? depends where “going out” is and with who

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup? nope ive never worn makeup

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person? messy

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star? no, but also i dont rly see shooting stars rip light pollution

#ask

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bubblegumbi-tch · 7 years

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GET TO KNOW ME!

I was tagged by the lovely @otsukaresope thank you!(and yes, I copied and pasted yours and changed my answers too)

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (lol you know i’m not tagging that many people)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Mango Juice 2. Phone call: My dad 3. Text message: My dad again 4. Song you listened to: There Was A Rapper by Dizraeli & the Small Gods 5. Time you cried: looooord I have no idea, I cry all the time.. i think it was like two or three days ago..

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: Not that I know of 9. Lost someone special: Hasn’t everyone? 10. Been depressed: I guess 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes, only once, I learned my lesson.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Blue or any variation on it 13. Yellow/Orange 14. Very dark pink/red/purple kinda colour if you know what I mean

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes, surprisingly 16. Fallen out of love: lol i’ve never even been IN love 17. Laughed until you cried: Probably yeah, i used to do it a lot more than i do now though sadly 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I found out a guy wouldn’t shut up about me because he liked me if that counts.. 19. Met someone who changed you: I don’t think so, no 20. Found out who your friends are: I already knew who my friends are 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them I’m pretty sure 23. Do you have any pets: Omg, yes! I have two cats, a dog, two budgies, a bearded dragon, a tortoise and two chickens! 24. Do you want to change your name: When I was little me and my best friend went through a phase of wanting to change our names, but of course we never did. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: My family all came to see me and then my parents took me out for a meal in the evening. 26. What time did you wake up: Ugh 7am to pack up from camping and come home, it’s the earliest I’ve been up in ages! 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Messaging my friends and trying to sleep. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Hixtape of course and also to get my flipping uni accommodation confirmation so I can start planning my room! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: About 30 seconds ago, she’s in the kitchen 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I was more confident and sociable (I’m a lot better than I used to be but it’s still something I’m working on!) 31. What are you listening to right now: Nothing, although I’ve been recently rediscovering Yoongi’s mixtape, specifically The Last... It’s making me emo af. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah I know of so many Tom’s 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My menopausal mother (sorry mum) and my over helpful, dithering grandmother (put them both together like now and i want to take a long walk off a short pier) 34. Most visited website: I guess here or youtube

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: A few like flat big freckle ones but none that i would really call moles because they aren’t raised?? How do you even know what’s a mole and what isn’t? 36. Mark/s: oh man my knees are basically made of childhood scars, I also have a big scar on my arm from when i broke it, and various other tiny scars across my body, and a few bits of discolouration on my back from when i got sunburned really badly once 37. Chilhood dream: I wanted to be a vet 38. Hair color: My natural hair colour is like a light mousey brown, but at the moment it’s henna red 39. Long or short hair: uhh short i guess, it’s in a bob that’s grown out a lil 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Not really 41. What do you like about yourself: I like my long, naturally curled eyelashes, and that I am quite an accepting person (at least i like to think i am) 42. Piercings: One in each ear, and my nose 43. Blood type: I have no idea, i tried to find this out before i went to korea as they believe the blood type=personality traits thing, but it seems to be actually quite hard to find out if you don’t already know.. 44. Nickname: Meg, v occasionally Meggie or (if you’re my mother and trying to annoy me) Meggie Moo 45. Relationship status: Single 46. Zodiac: Aries 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV show: Gosh I don’t know anymore, I don’t watch as much tv as i used to. I recently finished binging Skins (uk) though because i never got into it when i was a teenager 49. Tattoos: No, but i would like to get one one day 50. Right or left hand: left handed! (fun fact a lady i used to work with told me this is a sign of the devil and looked at me reproachfully lol) 51. Surgery: No cosmetic surgery, but i broke my arm pretty badly when i was 9 and had to have two surgeries to fix it and i still have a numb section down my right arm to this day from nerve damage! 52. Hair dyed in different colors: I have only ever dyed it red/coppery either with henna or proper dye 53. Sport: man i am the least sporty person you will ever meet! I was pretty good a hockey in school though and i enjoyed tennis and badminton too. 54. There’s no question here so fun fact: I currently have diamond shaped sunburn patches all down my arms from a lace-up armed top i was wearing yesterday, i’m such a fool. 55. Vacation: I would literally love to go anywhere and everywhere in the world, but right now I’m kinda feeling either Hawai’i (blame bts) or Florida 56. Pair of trainers: Do converse count as trainers? Because I live in my converse.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nothing Right now, but i need to go make myself some lunch. 58. Drinking: Again nothing, someone get me some tea!

59. I’m about to: Go say hi to my grandma who has just turned up, then maybe go over to my dad’s and watch game of thrones with him 60. No question here either so another fun fact: I have hypermobility in some of my limbs, just like Jin does (his wiggly fingers) so my knees bend backwards (i think Jin’s knees do this too actually), which freaks some people out! The downside is apparently it’s awful for my joints, I’m such an old lady! 61. Waiting for: My uni accommodation! 62. Want: So many things, love, money, a job, MY UNI ACCOMMODATION 63. Get married: Eh, maybe if the right person comes along, although i think it will be v different from a traditional type of wedding eg i hate how traditionally the bride is given from man to man and takes the husbands name, I would like to mash our names together to make a cool new name for us both... idk i guess i would just have a more feminist/egalitarian version of a marriage/wedding if i get married. 64. Career: Uuugh I don’t even have a job at the moment, and i doubt i will even when i finish my degree lol oh the hopelessness of adulthood

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Both?? I guess lips if i HAD to choose. 67. Shorter or taller: It doesn’t make a difference to me bc im short as hell anyway so anyone i date it always gonna be taller than me no matter how short they are... 68. Older or younger: i would prefer older but i guess so long as it’s not too much younger i wouldn’t mind so long as they are mentally mature enough. 69. No question here: Then you’re gonna get no answer. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms i guess 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship preferably, but all i ever seem to get are hook-ups! 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I guess troublemaker so long as it’s not damaging

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: Yes 75. Drank hard liquour: Yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lost a pair of sunglasses recently.. 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex in the first date: I haven’t actually properly dated anyone in ages.. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Not that i know of 80. Had your heart broken: Yes, but not by a romantic partner, just a best friend, they can do that too unfortunately.. 81. Been arrested: No although apparently i once when i was 16 i got blackout drunk and started hammering on a police car door (with the policemen inside) and they had to get out and tell my friends to take me home or they would arrest me (im so goddamn embarrassed about that) 82. Cried when someone died: Of course, who doesn’t? 83. Fallen for a friend: No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: i have nothing else to believe in so, YES 85. Miracles: I don’t think so 86. Love at first sight: Again, I don’t think so 87. Santa Claus: Of course, what are you saying?!?!?! 88. Kiss in the first date: Yeah why not if i like them enough 89. Angels: No

OTHER: 90. Current best friend’s name: I don’t think i have just one, but i guess my oldest friend and friends i se the most are Jenny and Hannah 91. Eyecolor: Green/blue/turquoise, it depends on the light (yes im THAT white girl, fight me it’s a thing) 92. Favorite movie: Ah man i couldn’t tell you i just don’t know sorry!

Tagging: @aw-yeah-jimin @grandpa-yoongi @sopehope @seoulsistersopi and i guess anyone else that wants to do it!

#you obvs dont have to do this if you dont want to guys!#also i messed up the formatting somewhere in the middle of this so it looks a bit of a mess lol

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btsxlami · 7 years

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📢LISTEN 📢 UP📢 ARMYS📢 HERE ARE 23 UNDERRATED ¿!MORE!¿ RAP MONSTER TRACKS THAT YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY POSITIVELY SHOULD CHECK OUT by @btsxlami

Hey guys its your favourite Namjoon promoter here again a.k.a LAMI! My last post got a lot of notes so whoop whoop and included my personal favourite 23 Namjoon tracks which you can find here

Part 2 of my underrated Namjoon series.

Here are 23 more bc damn Namjoon has a lot of fcking songs!

Disclaimers: (HOLD UP IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME SEEING THIS I SUGGEST YOU SEE PART ONE)

1. i will include tracks that Namjoon covered

2. I will include tracks that Namjoon featured in

3. I will include tracks that I personally feel the need to be well known *so no I won’t put expensive girl even tho thats my shit*

4. This list will be a bit more laid back since I covered a lot of the most important songs in the last list sooo

5. since i covered his best and most “important” tracks in the last list theres not many left but ill probably include his REALLY early like pre debut fetus tracks with his underground rapper friends, tbh I personally don’t think they are the best but you can definitely see how he grew and where he started from

6. enjoY! and reblog kekeke

7. THIS IS A LONG ASS LIST AND I FUCKING ANALYZED EACH SONG SO I EXPECT YALL TO READ AND APPRECIATE NAMJOON GODDAMIT

8. you can always go to BTS’s official soundcloud for unofficial official tracks yeet

9. titles with stars are ones i recommend ( i should of done this for part one yikes)

1. Voices by Rap Monster ⭐

from his first 2015 mixtape RM > Check out the full album here >> X *you can refer to more mixtape songs in my previous list

I feel as if this song is the closest a fan can get with Kim Namjoon. Just listening to it you feel a bit relaxed and almost a bit sad when you start listening to the first half of the song. This song reflects a person’s tender emotions and voices that run inside of someone’s head when they are confused. I remember listening to this 2 years ago and towards the end Namjoon starts screaming out all his pain and I started crying. C R Y I N G

Namjoon had a really smooth life up until he started pursuing hip hop. He was a beyond smart student and had a happy family so why the hell would he be depressed? He had his whole life ahead of him right?

But this lyrics totally breaks that facade down

“ I didn’t have any dreams just like my lyrics, every day in that way the functions and equations that couldn’t give me an answer in the end those things became uncountable injuries “

Despite having such amazing grades Namjoon did not know what the hell he wanted to do with his life, he didnt want to go into something academic despite being good at it, he was lost in life and his academics could not make him happy but instead hurt him even more.

“ thought I could catch the mirage known as happiness but the me in front of my desk wasn’t happy even for a moment without my mom knowing, I put a sheet of white paper between the pages of my workbook “

This verse totally broke me apart. He wanted to be happy while being in school but school sure as hell did not make him happy. His parents looked up to him as some smartass freak but without them knowing he started writing his own lyrics to cope with his hardships.

“my identity that I wrote down matched to the drum and bass a different, relaxed feeling compared to when I got my report card even when I was #1 my heart couldn’t relax”

The music brought out his true inner feelings, music brought out his true personality rather than when he was almost robot like studying with no self-identity. Despite being number one in class he still felt an emptiness that only music could fill.

“even as 7 years passed... still making my mixtape by myself in one corner of my room some say I’m fake, okay, I admit it, my dark past I can justify it, but I won’t, so that kind of problem won’t happen again the pedal that I stepped on for 7 years has finally been oiled “

Namjoon has been writing music and tried to get recognition for 7 years, despite Bangtan getting fame he is still lonely writing his own mixtape in a dark corner, kind of pathetic ehh idk, in his mixtape interview his dark past was his problematic sayings and actions. He felt the need to appropriate culture in order to rap. He then figured out that music and culture had nothing to do with eachother, music is for everyone. *I’m fake*

And finally after all the hardships after 7 years he is finally started to receive praise and attention!

2. WE ARE BULLETPROOF PT.1 by: Rap Monster, Supreme Boi, and Iron ⭐

Composed 6-7 years ago when Namjoonie was about 15 or 16 THIS SONG IS FUCKING BOP.

2 of Bangtans were also first members are featured here: Supreme boi (yall probably familiar with him) and Iron! (i hope iron never affiliates with Bangtan ever again tho we dont need a criminal around them yikes)

3. Hook by Supreme Boi, Iron, and Namjoon (also the track used in Yoongi’s all i do is win)

Extremely old and pre debut, but old is gold

Probably one of Namjoon’s only ‘diss’ song, he usually doesnt diss others while he raps tbvh

4. Seventeen by Rap monster

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDNT MAKE FUN OF HIM BC 15 YEAR OLD NAMJOON AT THE TIME WAS PROBABLY REALLY PROUD BACK THEN BUT HE LOOKED SO FUCKING FUNNY BC DAMN THAT HAIR AND HIS VOICE SOUNDS LIKE A CHIPMUNK BUTHUSDHUFUFSUD

5. SKOOL OF TEARS By: Rap Monster, Suga, and Jin ⭐

Absoloute MASTERPIECE! FIRST OF ALL THE ORIGINAL TRACK IS FROM SWIMMING POOLS BY KENDRICK LAMAR AND I LOVE KENDRICK! SECOND, THE RAP FLOW SOUNDS AMAZING NAMJOON IS GOING SO HARD AND DAMN YOONGI BACK AT IT AGAIN! ALSO CREDS FOR BABY BOY JIN FOR SOUNDING SO BADASS HERE BUT HERE IS WHY I LOVE THIS SONG!

I think its absolutely amazing how Namjoon especially writes song towards youth suffering in school, it takes a lot of guts to write against a society that has been around for decades.

“ This is a ring called a classroom This is a stadium with no referee only an audience You know there will never be a victor everyone will lose There will be no victor everyone will lose”

“ That’s right, in the end school is like another mini society A jungle made carelessly by adults They made the weaklings weak, they made the strong powerful Of course since they were strong they made the weak suffer A society built on the teachings that friends are only for pretend The morals of adults made us step on the weak to rise to the top “

Its clear to see that Namjoon has suffered in school but also isnt afraid to address the truth.

6. Expensive girl by Rap Monster

( I FUCKING DISCOVERED THIS SONG WHEN I WAS LIKE 11-12 AND I NEVER WANTED TO PUT THIS HEAR BUT YALL LIKE FOUGHT ME TO ADD THIS TO THE LIST GODDAMIT I HATE YALL I GOT LIKE HATE MAN OKAY)

“Take it off now girl just take it off (I’m a master, baby with your bra)Take it off now girl just take it off (I can help you slide those panties off)(..I’m a beat that pussy like you never ever felt before)x2″

7. Converse High (original version SUNG by Rap Monster)⭐

Yall probably heard Bangtan’s Converse High but here was the original version written by Namjoon that was rejected bc of the swearing omg damn joonie, BUT HE SINGS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THIS YESS

(funny story in seventh grade when this came out it was the last day of school and i requested my teacher to stay after school late so i could finish listening to the whole thing)

8. Suicide by Rap Monster

Rapmon wrote this mixtape in the point of view of a baby in his mother’s tummy. The baby’s parents are high school kids who are forced to go through abortion.

*this song was deleted bc of copyright and also the source of it is unknown but hey ITS IN ENGLISH AND DAMN NAMJOON RIGHTS DEEP SHIT*

(tf is namjoon doing u good)

9. What am I to you by Rap Monster from the 2014 Dark & wILD ⭐

if you DONT KNOW THIS SONG I SUGGEST YOU RETHINK YOUR LIFE DECISIONS BC LOWKEY HANDS DOWN ONE OF THE BEST INTRO’S TO A OFFICIAL BTS ALBUM (gif is from the live ver of this song and he started crying ok)

So Namjoon used to have a girlfriend who “mistreated” him. Tbvh we really don’t know what happened but on problematic men he said it wasnt anything serious it was just she would neglect him and not spend enough time but also hang out with other men.

(gif aint mine so gif blogs dont come at me)

But clearly the lyrics of this song are very emotional but the real reason why this song is a masterpiece is because of the rise of emotions.

It starts off slow and cute, Namjoon mentions how he loves the girl and how their love is pure and innocent, throwing cute love phrases and the song sounds so soft, hopeful, and romantic. But in the middle the music starts to get more serious and Namjoon starts to question the relationship. He feels as if the girl thinks of this relationship as more of a task and a job, and slowly as the song comes to an end NAMJOON STARTS FUCKING SCREAMING AND BELTING! ALL THE EMOTIONS BUILD UP AND HE STARTS SCREAMING “WHAT AM I TO YOU GIRL WHAT AM I TO YOU I DO LOVE YOU CRAZY UH DO YOU” LIKE IT WAS SCARY I WAS CRYING IM LIKE NAMJOON WHO TF HURT YOU

10. Always by Rap Monster ⭐

This song is more recent and farely well known but I still felt the need to put this masterpiece here. Namjoon said not to worry about him as the lyrics are really sad and almost ???SUICIDAL??? but he said he wrote this when he was stressed last year. Its kind of a self questioning song about life and your purpose. I cried when it came out. well i always cry when i listen to namjoon is it a surprise.

I'm honestly in tears because this song goes to show how hurt Namjoon still is even after all these years. Even after all these awards, fans, and accomplishments. Depression still hurts after a long time. I can tell that this song was talking about his past. This song literally made me realize Namjoon was questioning his existence and I wanna hold him so badly. Guys...we could of lost Kim Namjoon. My absolute favourite human being in the entire world who saved my life. He is a human being who does not deserve such pain but I am so proud he endured it so well and look how far he came. One of my favourite verses "I live for the sake of understanding this world, but why hasnt the world tried to understand me atleast once" Its a really vague phrase which is why I like it. WORLD could mean destiny, fate, life, even parents. He tries so hard to accept his life, to understand his parents wishes, sacrificing his own happiness yet fate decides to only give him the worst. "Dad please listen to me" "dead dad, your dead to me," Talking about how his dad wouldn't let him rap. I remember him mentioning that his dad once told him all that education he worked hard for was for nothing and I can’t imagine how sad Namjoon felt in that moment. "I would tell god if I ever meet him, i would hold him by the collar and tell him this life is like a coffee I never ordered" A pretty sad and a bit confusing verse, maybe leading to why Namjoon eventually became an atheist. Namjoon was in so much pain he didnt want to be born. "I wished I was dead...... I wished “Someone would kill me" No Namjoon never utter such words. My joonie mini I hope you are better and hopeful now, look at how far you came, your so successful and loved, and you made your family proud. Dont ever doubt yourself and even think about death, just keep living happily and moving forward. He honestly felt lost in this point of his life and still continues to feel lost. Namjoon you have such in important role and your existence was destined. You were born for a reason. You were born to change lives.

11. J-Lim ft. Rap Monster & Iron - Ashes

12. TIPSY BY RAP MONSTER & SUPREME BOI

Namjoon wrote this in the beginning of his rap career when he was still trying to find where he stood as a rapper. He mentions how he isnt doing this for the fame or money and he isnt the next Nas or Tupac he just wants to rap for the love of it.

13. Rap Monster of 방탄소년단 (BANGTAN),Supreme Boi,i11evn,Marvel.J - You can't do that

*i suggest you skip ahead to 1:30 for namjoon fire verse, shade intended*

14. RAP MONSTER of 방탄소년단,Suprema,Marvel.J,Kyum2 - Rollin

I also recommend you to skip ahead to 2:40 BC DAMN BOY GOES HARD

But tbvh pre debut namjoon squad (supreme boi , young jeezy, iron are hella problematic and say the n word in this and still do so im like yikes im happy nam left you) “ They pissed, now rape me" bitch whet

yeah im just here for namjoons verse bye

imma mufukin balla on this mufuckin beat spit mufuckin rap on this mufuckin shit got mufuckin skill so im mufuckin phat its mufuckin trick and a mufuckin track i i bet you betta stop stopin da chatter im a rapper man, and i represent BPB im juss so greater than hoes

15. FUCK COCKROACHES BY RAP MONSTER AND ZICO *THIS IS SO FUNNY*

Zico was 15 and RapMon was 13 when they rapped this, Namjoon sounds like a chipmunk BUT ZICO SOUNDS LIKE JIMIN I STG!

16. Rap Monster- Thinking Bout you

Joonie Mini Representing Biggie smalls eyyy!

17. Glory By Rap Monster

"I'm a dick? Yeah, when you disturb me, I grow bigger" SO FUCKING DONE

*there was lowkey lowkey controversy bc he said he tore 4 hymens BUT DETECTIVE LAMI FIXED IT*

In the beginning Namjoon says that people looked at him pitifully because he joined BTS, the Underground rappers were disappointed with him which led the Underground rappers to leave him, which has ripped his hymen. Not 4 hymen of random girls. 4 and "I" sound the same in Korean

it's a bit weird but in this case he is talking about himself all the hate people showed has ripped his hymen symbolizing his innocence for music.

18. NAA BY RAP MONSTER

tHE ORIGINAL BEAT WAS DEUCES BY CHRIS BROWN I WAS DYING

19. REGULAR VOICE BY RAP MONSTER ⭐

A really sweet and open-minded song about Namjoon wanting a “regular girl” “Height? I don’t care. Age? I don’t mind it. When you say, “I’ll only look at you” then I’m okay. Whether your skin is light or dark it doesn’t really matter, our love is deeper than that. “

I feel as if idols are pressured to have certain ideal types and say them out in the open, Namjoon had bad influences around him *underground rappers* which also influenced his negative sayings towards certain things but he wrote this song all alone at a young age which shows that his intentions are pure, and ever since he apologized for his wrong doings you go joon.

his voice sounds like sex

20. DREAMING BY RAP MONSTER

FETUS CHUBBY WTF HAIR NAMJOON IS BACK

okay but seriously you can see that despite being young he put a lot of effort and thought into this song!

21. RAP MONSTER of 방탄소년단 feat.김거덕 - RAP

22. 130305?? THIS TRACK IS UNTITLED BUT IT SOUNDS SO EPIC TF

23. Trouble by Rap Monster 🔞 🔞

OKAY IM BARELY AROUSED BUT THIS SHIT ACTUALLY HAD ME SOAKED IM SORRY GOD LIKE ITS SO SUGGESTIVE I STG

HIS SEXUAL FANTASIES I STG

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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A Definitive Ranking Of 2000s Rom Coms

Although people who peaked in high school like to act poetic about how great the 2000s were, they werent actually any better than the present day. I mean, it was a time when Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wore matching denim outfits in public and nobody carted them off to an insane asylum.

But Im prepared to make a concession on two points: 1) At least we werent under the administration of a sentient slime mold wearing a bad wig. 2) The 2000s were a golden age for romantic comedies, mostly thanks to Judy Greers tireless efforts to play every heroines best friend. Plus, only like half the jokes were sexist, and there was about an 80% chance pre-pretentious Matthew McConaughey would show up.

Obviously, a betch has to be picky about her rom-comssome are shitty in a good way, but others are best avoided in case someone catches you watching them. To guide your Netflix viewings, here’s a totally objective list of 00s rom coms. If you disagree, which Im sure everyone will, please note that Im not actually forcing you to watch these movies; Im just saying that if you regularly watch any of the bottom five, you have terrible taste.

14.

is considered a modern classic by two groups of people. 1) men in their late 20s with a crush on Natalie Portman and a thriving quarter-life crisis and 2) 8th graders in 2004 under the assumption that any movie that features a Shins track in its soundtrack is automatically deep. To everyone else, its a film about self-absorbed white people whining about their lives until theyre magically fixed by the power of mixtapes. There are approximately a zillion issues with this film, beginning with Zach Braffs complete lack of expression and ending with the fact that you cant cure real depression by listening to The Shins, no matter how clearly superior the soundtrack is to anything else in this film. Worst of all, though, is the fact that Natalie Portman played a manic pixie dream girl so obnoxious I still dream about strangling her character sometimes. Padme deserves so much better.

13.

Im not saying romantic comedies have to make much sense, but s plot is mystifying. Matthew McConaugheys parents are tired of him living at home, so they call in a lady high class escort (Sarah Jessica Parker) whose job is literally seducing men into moving out of their parents basements and unceremoniously dumping them. Because that’s plausible, and not at all fucked up to force your son to fall in love with someone you’re paying. Ridiculous premise aside, you know a movie is terrible when famed nicegirl Zooey Deschanel is the best thing about it.

12. Monster-in-Law

In case you missed this one, and for your sake I hope you did, is about Jane Fonda inexplicably being terrible to Jennifer Lopez, who walks a lot of dogs and is engaged to Fondas son. That right there should tell you all you need to knowI cannot think of one movie that JLo was in that was anything above mild torture, and we’re supposed to root for her character why, exactly? If my son was engaged to a full-time dog walker you can best believe I’d do everything short of actual murder to put a stop to that bullshit.

11.

Im told some people love this movie, but Jesus fucking Christ, is it possible for the two main characters to be any more appalling? Here you have two assholes manipulating the shit out of each other and just generally acting psychotic, all to win a stupid bet with their friends. They really should call it “How To Act Like A Psychopath And Lose Your Dignity.”

10.

Not gonna lie, I fucking adored when I was an impressionable preteen. It had time travel! Mark Ruffalo! A makeover scene! Years later, the movie is still fun to watch, even if it is way too obsessed with the 80s, but the jokes are more cute than funny. Also, why would anyone allow their 13-year-old child to go to a sleepover hosted by a 30-year-old? That is … questionable to say the least. Not to mention Jennifer Garner’s character does a reverse transformation from a betch into a nicegirl and dumps her hot pro bf in favor of her formerly fat friend. Blah blah, true love, I don’t give a fuck. Tenth.

is close to being wrapped in cutesy narration, but it’s far superior. For one thing, it reintroduced the world to Joseph Gordon-Levitts dimples. For another, it manages to be a fairly realistic depiction of a shitty millennial relationship without being super fucking depressing. But thats also kind of the problemrom coms arent supposed to be realistic, theyre supposed to be clich and feel-good, and I don’t care what you say, Summer is a thot. I have literally stayed up at night mapping how she could have possibly met someone worthy of engagement a mere 118 days after she broke up with Tom, and only six days after attending a wedding as his guest (yes I did the mathI told you; this movie keeps me up at night). No matter how you slice it, she had to have cheated on somebody.

Full disclosure: As a Southern betch, Im stoked that takes place right next door. (Dear Hollywood: An entire country exists between New York and LA.) But even though it features Patrick Dempsey as the other man, Josh Lucas with a dreamy Southern accent, and Reese Witherspoon, there are still some issues. Mainly, WTF WERE YOU THINKING, MELANIE? Did you really dump your future president fianc for your secret redneck husband just so “the first boy you kissed could also be your last”? I’ve heard of trying to keep your number down, but damn if this isn’t some delusional shit.

Everyone on planet Earth can relate to having a batshit crazy family, and thats exactly what makes appealing. The two leads are fine, considering they’re not Kate Hudson or Matthew McConaughey, but the extended family is everyones favorite part of the movie. Honestly the most memorable moment to come out of this movie is the “put some Windex on it”pretty good deal for Windex, not so much for the people who actually starred in the movie. However, it does get points for the memorable line: “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she pleases.”

The plot is pretty flimsy (a Canadian businesswoman has to marry her assistant to avoid deportation) but everyone loves a story where the couple starts out hating each other and eventually falls in love. The cast is what makes this movie pure rom com gold: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, and Betty fucking White, who gifted us with the infamous Native American dance scene. Basically, it’s predictable but ridiculous, making it better than some of the other garbage movies on this list.

Admittedly, is probably to blame for some of the chubby man-child/beautiful, svelte woman couplings we see in the media that give men unrealistic beauty expectations (of the types of women they can expect to date), otherwise known as The Beyonc/Jay Z Phenomenon. But whatevs. Its a good movie. Seth Rogen has that whole dad bod thing going onapparently a thing some people are intoand Katherine Heigl was at the top of her rom com game before she pissed off the entire cast of .is actually hilarious, which is enough to make up for the fact that Katherine Heigl appears in it.

Even aside from my undeniable crush on youthful Sandra Bullock, is a quintessential early-2000s romantic comedy. Allow me to explain. 1) It stars an ambitious career woman who dont need no man. 2) But she kind of wants one anyway, and everyone realizes what a catch she is when she puts on lipstick and a dress. 3) Did I mention its plot is literally an extended makeover scene as Bullock goes from bad ass FBI agent to bad ass beauty pageant contestant? I rest my case. Add in some cute female friendships and a scene in which Bullock teaches us how to fend off an attacker, and its basically required viewing every year.

You had to know was going to make the list despite this amazing take-down article of why it’s actually terrible. With approximately a bajillion storylines going on, its hard not to find one you like and get invested, and it doesnt hurt that the film features every well-known British actor under the sun. Im not sure how the movie manages to juggle all the different plots without being confusing and/or boring, but Im not gonna question it. However, this shit is TOO FUCKING LONG. If I have to pop an Adderall just to make it through a damn movie (which I do), you need to send your editors back to the drawing board.

is the perfect example of a rom com thats super clich in theory, but in practice, its so fucking heartwarming it doesnt even matter (ugh). Katherine Heigl plays ultimate nicegirl Jane (in case the fact that her name is “Jane” wasn’t enough of a clue), whos been part of 27 weddings and miraculously hasnt gone broke from buying all the bridesmaid dresses. The dudes are pretty forgettable, but Janes psychotic sister and slutty best friend totally steal the spotlight, elevating the film to truly betchy heights.

P.S. For once, James Marsden plays the leading man, so his preternaturally perfect face gets more screen time, #bless.

Bridget Joness Diary is the ultimate feel-good movie, as in its literally impossible to watch it without feeling your icy soul thaw ever so slightly at the end. The titular character starts out fat, single, and past the age of 30, so basically our worst nightmare. By the end, though, she manages to bang Hugh Grant and Colin Firth, land a better job, and become a self-described wanton sex goddess. If those arent your life goals, you clearly need to start your own self-help journey.