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#listen i'm a little weirdo i like comparing the different ways to play the heroes of da games but especially the different hawkes
As much fun as I'm having doing my alternative run of DA2, one thing I really miss about my mage Hawke is his friendship with Merrill.
Those two are best friends and he's 100% supportive in her goals toward the eluvian. Ed has the humorous/charming personality, too, which bounces off super well with Merrill. He doesn't think any less of her for her usage of blood magic; if anything he's impressed by her level of strength and willpower. He's so ready to defend her from the other companions and the clan, and he's absolutely out here attempting to matchmake her and Carver....at least he is in my heart because the game won't let me, it's fine, I'm not bitter about it or anything-
But then my warrior Hawke? She has the diplomatic personality with quite a bit of direct/aggressive thrown in there and she ends up having the same attitude as that one party banter Aveline and Merrill have: "Merrill, you're clearly talented and meant for great things, but you're stupid," and that's so difficult for me to lean into. I'm trying to play Aris differently so she ends up being so condescending to Merrill, like she's trying to gently tell her to give up on the eluvian but it doesn't come off well.
Also if Carver was around, Aris would be the opposite of Ed, she'd look at the suggestion of her brother and Merrill getting together and be like, "No :) I don't think so :) I like Merrill, she's my friend :) but she's not right for Carver."
But I guess it makes sense; if you told him that Bethany would giggle and kick her feet and twirl her hair around Sebastian, Ed would've thrown him in the ocean as a warning. Meanwhile, Aris is like, "A handsome prince that could take my sister away from all of this? Wonderful, we just need to work on his incorrect views on mages, but that shouldn't be a problem :)"
Anyway I miss playing Hawke as the #1 Merrill stan.
#dragon age 2#da2#da2 merrill#carver hawke#bethany hawke#sebastian vael#da2 hawke#edgar hawke#aris hawke#listen i'm a little weirdo i like comparing the different ways to play the heroes of da games but especially the different hawkes#i like comparing my own hawkes and i like looking at other peoples hawkes and the different relationship dynamics they bring to the table#kicks my little gremlin brain into gear#like ed always rivals aveline and their relationship is strained at best... meanwhile aris and aveline are ride or die best friends#and seeing aveline from both perspectives is....... well it's an experience i'll just say that sksksks#oh also i miss anders so much sksksk i miss his romance and the dynamic he and ed have#aris rejected him right from the start and while it's neat to see her character through an unromantic lens i still miss him and his bullshi#aris romanced isabela and *that* makes me want to bite nom nom so interesting and heartbreaking in its own way like losing leandra like tha#and then dealing with the qunari bullshit only to find out isabela's part in it before she abandons aris with the book#and then aris reunites with bethany who is bitter and pissed off and can't get away from her fast enough like........ the end of act 2 y'al#aris was *ready* for the arishok fight solely because she needed an outlet for her frustration and grief and agony#she couldn't kick his ass fast enough sksksksks and now she's so Done with everything and then isabela admits that she's in love with her#and it's just................. a lot. it's so much. i can't#anders and isabela's respective romances drive me nuts for very different reasons i love them#this has been another 'cj needs to ramble about [blank]' post#stay tuned for next week where she continues to sob about the hawke twins
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folkwhorerain · 3 years
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Jealousy, Jealousy (Wanda Maximoff x fem reader)
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pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem reader
Summary: reader is a shy and insecure Avenger whit a crush on Wanda, but she never made the first move on the sokovian. What if, during a party, finally something happens between the two of them?
Warnings: angst, reader being insecure, language (I think?), alcohol and sexual tension (feel free to tell me if I should add more).
English is not my first language, so bare with my grammar please, lol. This is my first fanfiction ever so forgive me if it's not anything special or it is lame.
I got inspired by "Jealousy, Jealousy" by Olivia Rodrigo, so I suggest you listen to it while reading, if you want.♥️
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You hated them. You hated Tony's parties.
Don't get me wrong, you enjoyed the Avengers company, but parties were definitely not your thing. You always felt... out of place.
You were fine with chatting with the team during this day when you spent some time together, but when parties where that huge like tonight's one, all you wanted to do was staying in your room.
The fact is that you can't help but compare yourself to the others. You never felt enough and you were intimated by Tony's friends and the other heroes. You were just... You. No one special with no cool superpowers, you were good at hand to hand combat and you were really smart, but that was it; you always thought that was lame. Like that wasn't enough, you were the newest recruit in the team. The Avengers all welcomed you well and you grew attached to all of them, especially Natasha, but still, you didn't feel like that was enough for you to be considered "the cool Avenger", and you were still private about your feelings and emotions; when something was wrong the only answer that you had when they asked you what bothered you was "it's nothing". But it wasn't nothing. You felt an outsider in the team, you felt like you weren't enough for them and the worst part is that you knew it was all in your head, but you couldn't help it.
The first person that always comes to your mind when you think of someone cool is Wanda. Her powers affascinates you and you loved her determination. You can't say you two are close, but she always treated you well and she respected your boundaries, that's why now you have a crush on her and that's part of the reason you didn't want to go to the party. Seeing her well dressed while smiling to people who weren't you and while Vision was trying to get her attention would only make it worse.
You considered staying in your room while scrolling your social media, not having any strength to get up and get ready, especially when you were still in your bathrobe and your thoughts were only about a certain witch. However you knew Natasha would've dragged you out of the room if you wouldn't come so, after a few curses and annoyed groans, you threw your phone on the pillow and started to get dressed.
You didn't want to get the attention to you, people would start a conversation and tonight you weren't into it at all, so you opted for a green skirt and a black, cropped sweater and a little bit of makeup. Nothing more.
I'm already so sick of this bullshit, you thought to yourself, then you took a deep breath and went downstairs.
As you expected, the biggest room of the Stark Tower was filled with people you didn't know, but you were sure they were mostly Tony's friends.
They were all so confident with their drinks in hands, perfect combed hair and fancy dresses worth millions of dollars.
You weren't nothing like these people: you didn't get why people would spend millions for pieces of cloth. It was a waste of money, but how you wished you saw it differently, maybe you would be one of these apparently happy people with a lot of friends, and not the weirdo of the group with a lack of confidence so evident you couldn't even enjoy a relaxing event.
A few tears tried to escape your eyes, but you wouldn't let them. Steve was watching you and, from the look he was giving you, he already sensed something was off with you; so you did what was best and faked a smile, which he returned gladly before he went back to his conversation with Bucky.
You felt like a creep standing in the corner of the room doing nothing, so you started looking around searching for Nat. After a few second you saw her talking, or better, flirting with Bruce at the bar while she had a Martini on her hand.
You frowned sympathetically. Cute. He really likes her a lot, you thought seeing Bruce embarrassed and intimidated by the widow.
Suddenly a waiter asked you if you wanted a glass of wine and you accepted, maybe a little alcohol would help you get through this more easily. You took a sip and enjoyed the feeling of the wine in your throat.
“This is ridiculous.” you whispered.
“What is ridiculous?” you heard someone ask you.
You turned to see who it was and that's when you saw her: Wanda was smiling at you with a curious expression on her face.
You blinked a few times, amazed by the girl in front of you: she was wearing a short, black dress, and her ginger hair was loose on her shoulders. She decided to put on a little bit of makeup and a red lipstick. Not like her typical style, but you liked her anyway. She was always so beautiful.
You shook your head, realizing she was waiting for an answer. "Uhm, parties, I guess.” She nodded. “I mean, Tony's events are always too exaggerated.” you added before biting your lips, clearly embarrassed.
“I know how you feel.” Wanda agreed. “I always have to try so hard to fit in during things like these.” She chuckled while looking around the room.
“Well, at least you're trying.” You said before giving her a dry laugh, looking down at your glass.
The ginger tilted her head sympathetically. “Well, maybe that's the problem.”
You frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean... trying too hard is the problem.” She explained. “If you feel like you have to try so hard it becomes unbearable, maybe that means that the thing you're doing is not good for you.” She added before biting the inside of her cheek.
You simply hummed in agreement and took another sip of wine, too intimated by her beauty.
Don't think something awkward. She can read minds. Don't think how beautiful she is- shit. Stop thinking.
“If you'll excuse me, Vision is looking for me.” She said with a smirk on her face before leaving you alone again.
You watched her walk away, analizing her every move. God, how you wanted her to be yours. She was not, of course. Why would she be with someone like you? She could have Vision and every other man in this room, so why would she choose a girl like you? Speaking of the devil, Vision approached her with a few guys and she gave him her brightest smile.
You watched all the interaction, still in the corner of the room.
He was so confident with his perfect posture and his good manners. He would be the best for her. He's the kind of man, or synthezoid, or whatever, that could always reassure her and find the perfect words to make her feel better. He would try and cheer her up and find the better jokes to tell, just like he's probably doing right now. In fact the sokovian was laughing at something he said and her beautiful laugh echoed through the room.
You felt jealousy rush through your veins.
“I wanna be him so bad!”
All the people in the room turned to look at you with puzzled expression.
Your eyes went wide when you realized you practically yelled what you wanted was just a thought so, without a second thought, you rushed out of the party and went straight to your room.
You slammed the door and let the tears escape. You took off your make up and headed straight to bed, overthinking what just happened, screaming in your pillow.
I always ruin everything!
You didn't expect you would've said that out loud and right now you didn't expect to hear someone to knock on your door. You didn't answer, though, you kept your head buried in the pillow. It was probably Natasha who wanted to talk about what happened and you definitely weren't going to say a word.
The door opened anyway and you groaned in annoyance.
“Listen, Nat-” You started to say but stopped immediately when you saw it wasn't the russian spy, but Wanda.
“Hi.” She greeted you with a shy smile. “May I sit?” She asked pointing the bed.
You composed yourself and nodded shyly. “Yeah.”
Wanda gave you a swift smile and sat next to you, crossing her legs on the bed. Your breath itched when you felt your knees touching. You two have never been this close and the situation was making you nervous, thing that didn't go unnoticed by Wanda considering the fact that you were playing with the ring on your index finger.
You never noticed but Wanda knows you very well. She knows your moves, the way you play with your hands when you're nervous, the way your eyes shine when you talk about your interests or the way you are quieter than usual when you're sad.
The truth is that Wanda liked you very much and she knew you liked her too. She didn't want to tell you 'cause she wanted you to take courage and say it first and, to be fully honest, she was scared. What if your crush was temporary and you would eventually get bored? What if she loses you just like she lost her parents and Pietro? She would never, ever accept it.
“So... Why did you run away?” She asked like it wasn't obvious you just yelled in front of everyone.
“Are you seriously asking, Wanda?” You snapped before you could stop yourself.
She looked at you with sad eyes before looking down at her hands. “Sorry…”
“No, no... Don't apologize.” You whispered. “You have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn't have… God, I'm pathetic.”
You threw your head in your hands and sighed. I'm so sick of myself!
“Why are you sick of yourself?” The sokovian asked you before placing a hand on your knee.
You looked at the hand and then at her.
“Sorry, I shouldn't have read your mind, but sometimes your thoughts are really loud.” she chuckled, starting to rub her thumb on your knee. You were speechless, all this interaction was making you crazy. You craved more of her touch and now, more than ever, you wanted to kiss her. However you pushed those feelings aways and started to open up to avoid thinking about something inappropriate. “I'm just… me. I mean, I'm not special.”
“Why do you think that?” She asked raising an eyebrow, her hand never leaving your skin.
You took a deep breath. “Wanda, come on! Tony's friends are so cool, he's loved by everyone, Natasha is a badass russian spy, you have these amazing superpower. Thor is literally a God, for fuck's sake!”
“You compare yourself to the others too much. It's not healthy, Y/N.” She sweetly stated wiping away a tear from you cheek.
You closed your eyes for a second, enjoying her touch, but then you came back to reality. “I know, but I can't help it. The others seem to be so confident and happy, and all the girls at the party... Fuck, they're so pretty-”
"Beauty is not your lack.” She interrupted you smirking, her hand still on your cheek.
“I- I just wish I was them... I wish I had the courage Vision has.” You admitted, looking down.
“Why him?” The ginger asked placing two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at her in those piercing green eyes.
“Because I'm so jealous he gets all your attentions and I don't just because I'm too insecure.” You said it in a whisper, almost inaudible, but Wanda heard you and you knew judging by the smile on her face.
“You want my attentions?” She asked leaning in.
Her face was so close to yours that it was hard to breathe. You could smell her perfume and that alone was making you want her more. You had the urge to kiss her and touch her and taste her, but right now Wanda was waiting for a response so you simply nodded, not trusting your voice.
“You already have them.” She admitted, making you frown in confusion. “There might be a hundred people in the room, but I would always notice you and only you, Y/n.” You were speechless, partly because of her confession, partly because she was so damn close to your face it made your heart race fast, and before you could realise, she kissed you.
Her lips were so soft against yours and her hands were in the right places. However, after a few moments, you realized you froze and didn't reproached the kiss. Wanda broke the kiss, a disappointed look on her face.
“I'm sorry, I thought you liked me t-”
Before she could finish her sentence, you kissed her. You kissed her with so much confidence it surprised both you and Wanda.
Your right hand was on her neck and the other was on her waist, pulling her close.
You felt her smirk on the kiss and the hand that before was on your knee now was up your thigh.
“God, this skirt was making me crazy the whole night.” She breathed out, making the hand go higher and higher where you needed it the most.
Before you could realize you still had your party outfit on, Wanda started caressing slowly your inner thigh, making you gasp. Hearing the affect she had on you, the ginger bite your lobe before whispering something that made you shiver.
“Let me show you all the attentions I have for you, babygirl.”
alright, that was it. I know it's not good, but I had this idea the other night and I just had to write it.
Feedback is appreciated. <3
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