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#lisa reads
cockslutpadalecki · 1 year
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when you come up with an idea that’s pretty heinous, and you actually have to have a word with yourself wondering whether or not to write it anyway…
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bucketfrog · 2 years
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Ok so when I read horror books I like to listen to story appropriate soundtracks in the background with my noise cancelling headphones because otherwise I find it difficult to fully immerse myself in the story.
Like I was just reading a book about a dive team exploring a haunted shipwreck (scarier that it sounds), and I had like muted underwater noises playing with an undertone of indistinct whispers and after I read the second half of the book in one sitting while being fully immersed in it I had to lay in bed and talk to myself to remind myself that I’m alive…
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cowboycannibalism · 2 months
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one of the things that annoys me so bad right now is seeing letterboxd reviews about Lisa Frankenstein being like "she's such a horrible character", "those people didn't deserve to be killed" blah blah blah
SHUT UP
it's a horror romance!! a girl keeps a reanimated dead guy in her closet and falls in love with him! what did you think was going to happen? it's SUPPOSED to be fucked up and weird and that's part of its charm. quit being boring, let female characters (esp in horror) be messy and chaotic and morally gray.
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Azriel running back to tell Rhys that Bryce stole Truth Teller
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rian johnson took all that time, put in all that effort to make glass onion a fantastic period piece to the first four months of pandemic, a prescient narrative that anticipates the stupidity of rich billionaires, and then pulled the rug from under us because the world of benoit blanc just straight up doesn't have the mona lisa anymore
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800db-cloud · 9 months
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VERY major pikmin 4 spoilers under cut !!!
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scary…
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irltaurus · 1 year
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the ladies reading and relaxing
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greghatecrimes · 10 months
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my god I just discovered this promo picture and i am DYING. does anyone know what some of the shirts say?? left to right i have:
wilson: admit the past, deny the present
thirteen: “has a reason”. either “everything has a reason” or “not everything has a reason”. her hair is covering
chase: don’t blame me blame my gender (god thats SO him)
kutner: doing things changes things
house: hope is for sissies
foreman: bad mojo is not a diagnosis (LMAO)
cuddy: something with “don’t trust opinions”??
cameron: looks like the second word is “something”
taub: something with “do good”?
also the fact that half of them are barefoot and the other half aren’t with no rhyme or reason. i am DYING
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ewingstan · 5 months
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Take the following observations:
Taylor kissed Rachel to cure bonesaw's miasma (wildbow 2012, part 14.11)
Taylor could have spit on a bug and had it fly into Rachel's mouth to cure the miasma (@ty-bayonet-betteridge, 2023)
Wildbow has stated numerous times that neither of these characters are supposed to be taken as queer.
Taylor kissing a girl on the lips in a scenario when there were other options she likely would have thought of to cure her is Gay
These three observations all seem to contradict with each other, such that we cannot take them seriously without one of them giving. Most would place their doubt on 3, claiming that wildbow intentionally created a yuri moment for his readers and then backed away from the implications this would have on the larger story. However, careful reasoning reveals that there is no necessary contradiction:
A normally gay action isn't actually gay if all your alternatives in the situation would be more gay.
The most-often stated alternative for what Taylor could have done involved flying a bug down Rachel's throat.
Taylor's swarm is noted numerous times to be an extension of her body.
We can thus conclude there is no contradiction between are initial quartet of observations as long as we accept the following: Taylor having a bug fly down a girl's throat is more gay than simply kissing them.
With this out of the way, we can turn our attention to a section from 19.7:
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We have an instance of Taylor doing what she was fully capable of doing in the miasma incident, and sticking a bug down her teammate's throat—in this case in order to stop talking. Based on our above reasoning, we can conclude that Taylor did the equivalent of dipping Lisa into a surprise kiss sloppy style to shut her up. The fact that this strategy worked and Sundancer did in fact nuke those guys is an important piece of evidence for my ongoing theory that Worm acts on the logic of a romantic comedy—
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geryone · 8 months
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“Love with the Hands Wide Open” by Lisa Suhair Majaj from We Call to the Eye & the Night: Love Poems by Writers of Arab Heritage
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glossglamour · 20 days
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GUYS .
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(source)
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cockslutpadalecki · 1 year
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2.7k into stepdad!joel sequel… ooop
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vickdoom · 1 year
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looting the shadow monsters at the local music store to pay my moving violation tickets.
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mttonex · 18 days
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joanfucius if one of them was a zombie and they killed people for body parts (lisa frankenstein au)
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bonus doodles :3
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This is such a sweet tender moment between Azriel and Nesta
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schemmentisbranzino · 3 months
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Italian Flavors - Part 1
Summary: Reader meets Melissa Schemmenti at a local italian grocery store and quickly becomes attracted to her. Where this is going to go? I guess we'll find out together ;)
Note: this idea came to me out of nowhere and wrote it when i was very much not sober, so i apologize for any grammatical mistakes.
Warnings: None?
Words: 3k
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You have been visiting the same grocery store since you moved to the neighborhood a few weeks ago. They had the best selection of vegetables in the area and the best brands of Italian food. You couldn’t find canned San Marzanos anywhere and this little store always had them in stock. You weren’t Italian yourself, just a big fan of their cuisine. You enjoyed learning new recipes and pasta has always been a guilty pleasure of yours. But the truth is, you have found another guilty pleasure, funnily enough, another Italian one. 
The second weekend you went into the store, you were just browsing in the deli section when you spotted a beautiful redheaded woman fighting the worker over a kilo of salami. You couldn’t help but stare at her in amusement. “Something something… ripping me off…ain’t a fool..something something” is all you could hear. Not necessarily because she was out of earshot, but because you were so mesmerized by her, her attitude, her beauty, her curves, that you couldn’t hear a word. After a few seconds you realized you were staring and decided to keep doing your shopping.  As you were standing by the produce aisle, you see the redhead walk out, her determined victorious walk after probably winning her argument. Who wouldn’t give her anything she wants? You say to yourself as you watch her sway her hips out of the establishment.
You go about your day as normal, finish your grocery shopping, pick up an iced coffee and there you go back to your “work from home” job. You sit in front of the computer responding to emails and going over your list of pending tasks and projects. You try to concentrate and be productive, but you can’t. Your mind is clouded by visions of that gorgeous stranger at the store. Her raspy voice echoing through your head. You shake your head as if doing that will get her out of there. You hope she is a regular at the store, you wish you could see her again.
You go about your week, smiling every time you remember the perfect stranger. You keep hoping next weekend you get to see her again. You wonder if you should go at the same time and decide that thats probably the best idea. Friday afternoon you head to the store, grocery shopping list in hand, searching for the ingredients you need to make your Italian dish of the weekend. You hope to be there for a long time, hopefully long enough to see her again. You browse every aisle slowly, constantly looking around, but nothing. You finished shopping .“It was just wishful thinking huh” you say to yourself as you start walking back to your car while carrying your groceries. They might be heavy but heavier was your disappointment. You are lost in your thoughts when you feel someone bump into you making you drop a bag, “I am so sorry, hon” the redhead says to you while helping you pick up your stuff. You don’t say anything, just stare at her as she screams to someone on the phone. “See Gary I just made a girl drop her stuff because you wont stop calling me and made me be late to my grocery shopping, stop calling me, you bozzo”. 
“Boyfriend problems?” - you said and instantly regretted it.
Melissa looked at you as if you had asked her for her social security number. Her face immediately relaxing after realizing you were just an innocent girl who she had just inconvenienced. “Something like that, my ex” she gave you a soft smile as she started to talk away.
“Th- Thank you” - you said nervously and quickly realized it made no sense, she made you drop your stuff, what were you thanking her for? Her existence? Yes, but you can’t tell her that. That makes absolutely no sense.
Melissa chuckles, “Anytime, hon” - she says, as if she somehow understood what you meant.
You walk to your car with the biggest smile in your face. You got to see this beautiful woman again and you will go on to think about her for days to come. Hoping to run into her again sometime soon.
Weeks pass by and you stay with this woman very present in your mind, you stop going to the store every weekend, since you are scared of looking like a stalker, a cute one, but a stalker nonetheless. Instead you assume your role of the yearning lesbian, seeing her in every little thing you do, making every song about her.
It is a Tuesday afternoon and you have already finished your meeting for the day, so you decide to lay on the couch and watch Carol for the 20th time this week. A movie about an age gap relationship, who would have thought?
In that moment your phone rings, it is your best friend Laura, the person you were the closest to in this world and the whole reason you moved to Philly in the first place. She was raising her daughter Melanie by herself and you figured you could offer her some support, since the little girl was your world. 
“Hi y/n, what are you doing other than thinking about this mystery woman?” - your best friend said in a mocking tone. 
“Uh nothing much, why? - you say without humoring her comment. 
“Can you please pick up Melanie at Abbott? I got tied up at work and I can’t make it. I am sorry I will make it up to you”. 
“Nonsense, I am on my way” 
“You are an angel y/n”
“Oh I know” - you say as you walk out of the door and make your way to Abbott Elementary, having no idea of the surprise that awaited for you at the school.
You arrive and park in the nearly empty parking lot, most of the students were already gone, since Laura didn’t call you until it was already way past the dismissing bell. You run inside the school, looking for your niece. You walk past a classroom and spot her. Sitting next to her, is her teacher. You can’t believe your eyes. You shake your head as if somehow she was a hallucination. “There is no way”, you say to yourself as you try to muster the courage to open the door. You take a deep breath and open the door. 
“Hi, I am here for Melanie” - you say and your niece starts running towards you, your eyes moving away from the redhead in order to pick her up.
“Hi, I am y/n, Melanie’s auntie. Well I am her moms best friend but she is a niece to me” - you say to the redhead, her looking at you with an unreadable expression. 
“I have seen you before, haven’t I?” - Melissa asks you raising her eyebrow.
“Uhm maybe? I live nearby” - you tell her trying to keep your cool and not immediately say “yes yes, you go to the same store as me and I have been hoping to see you every weekend since that time I watched you fight that guy in the deli over a kilo of salami. I have thought of you every day and I want nothing more than to run my hands all over you”.
She looks at you unsure, thats not it. She knows you from somewhere else.
“Ahhh I think I have seen you at Claudio’s, I go there all the time” - you tell her trying to keep your cool.
“Oh yes yes, you were the girl I ran into when my dumbass ex was trying to talk my ear off” - she says with a smile. “You italian?” 
“No, just an italian fan”
“Is that so?” - she says raising her eyebrow and you realize how that might have come off.
“Of italian food, that is Ms.”
“Ms Schemmenti, Melissa” - she extends her hand for you to shake it and you can’t help but stare at how beautiful they are, her fingers, oh your mind is wandering. You gulp before you take it in yours and give her a soft handshake.
“Pleasure to officially meet you, Ms Schemmenti” - you say as you look into her beautiful emerald eyes, they look like they could hypnotize anyone, if you weren’t already under her spell, they would have done the trick.
“Well, I better go” - you say and start walking away as your niece waves good bye to her favorite teacher.
“Y/n?” - Melissa says and your entire body stiffens. “Hope to see you at Claudio’s soon” - she winks and gives you the most wicked smile. 
You walk out of the building with the biggest smile on your face. “Melissa, Melissa” you repeat in your brain. Of course such a goddess has such a beautiful name. And she wants to see you again? Is she playing you? Does she mean it? Could she tell you like her? Who knows, but you are definitely showing up at Claudio’s this weekend.
On your drive back home you ask your niece all sorts of questions about her teacher. All her answers making her sound even more perfect. “I love Ms. Schemmenti. She seems tough but she is so sweet, she always helps me when I struggle with my math problems. She gives the best hugs but that is a secret. Only her little eagles know. She is so pretty too” - Melanie tells you.
“Yes, yes she is, munchkin” - you sigh to yourself, picturing how gorgeous she looked today. 
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Saturday came around and you just couldn’t wait for it to be time to go to the store. You knew it would probably be obvious that you were showing up just to see her but you couldn’t care less. You put on your favorite jeans with a tank top that makes your chest look irresistible. You wear your platforms docs and a leather jacket, even put on some make up. Is it too much for the grocery store? Perhaps, but you need to impress this woman. If not now, when? 
You wanted to make Arancini, a delicious Sicilian appetizer that you loved eating back home in New York. Once again, you browse the aisles slowly, hoping to see Melissa, or Mel, like you were already calling her in your head. You were looking at the different types of rice, you bend down to pick up a packet of Arborio and as you reach for it, a raspy voice startles you.
“Making risotto, hon?” - the redhead says, as she looks up and down at your figure, maybe it was you being hopeful but it seemed as if she was checking you out.
“Arancini, actually’ - you say with a smile.
“Oh woman after my own heart” - she says as she gets closer to you.
“I have actually never made them, but they remind me of home and I want to try and make some similar to the ones I used to eat back in Brooklyn” - you shared with the redhead, suddenly realizing you might have overshared and she might not care at all about your nostalgia and homesickness.
“Lucky for you I have a really good recipe, I can share it with you” - Melissa gets closer to you and firmly grabs your arm “If you share it with anyone I’ll come find you”. - You freeze, not in fear but in want, shivers running through your body at the contact.
She lets go and there was again, that wicked smile, she winks at you and gestures for you to follow her. 
“Oh, that would be amazing” - your eyes light up and she can see how happy her offer made you.
She helps you find all the ingredients you need for her recipe. Browsing around this small grocery store with this beautiful woman seemed like a dream to you. Her scent, her voice, her smile, the passion with which she talks about food. She explains step baby step what to do and how to do it, giving you tips and tricks in order to make the most delicious dish. You struggle to retain the information, too focused on the way her glossy lips move. It doesn’t go without notice but Melissa pretends she doesn’t realize it as she continues walking down the aisles and throwing things in your cart. After half an hour or so the shopping is done and your heart feels heavy. You are going to pay and go away and probably not see her in a while, even if it is another week, it sounds like too long for you.
“You are all set, hon” - she gives you a smile that makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter. “Here, give me your phone, I’ll give you my number in case you need any help with the recipe or to thank me when you have a food orgasm thanks to it”.
“Orgasm orgasm orgasm” - the only word sounding in your head, the way it fell of her mouth had your mind going places it shouldn’t.
“Hey, went on a trip there?” - Melissa snaps your fingers at you bringing you back to reality.
“Ah yes, my phone” - you said handing her the device and watching attentively as she puts her digits on your phone.
“Well, thank you, Ms. Schemmenti, I’ll make sure to let you know how they came out” 
“I’ll be waiting, hon” - she says as she smiles at you and you stand there, frozen, blocking the line with your cart, the cashier complaining and telling you to move.
“Oh, yes, I better go, bye Melissa”
“Bye, gorgeous” 
Gorgeous? She called you gorgeous. Your eyes widen and you quickly get back to your cart, you want to scream but you don’t want anyone to see you. She called you gorgeous? Whoa.
You get back home, ready to start on her recipe, looking at your phone, your head doing mental gymnastics, trying to figure out what excuse you could use to text her. You figure you should cook first, not be too intense, you just saw her 15 mins ago for fucks sake.
You follow step by step her directions, so scared of messing it up, as if she were to try them. You have never been happier to cook anything. You wonder how they would taste if she were to make them. You move quickly through all the steps, wanting to finish as soon as possible. One because you want to try this deliciousness and two, because you cant wait to text her.
You finish them and you gotta say you are quite proud of yourself, you don’t know how they taste yet, but they look really good. You wonder whether you should try them first and let her know, or whether you should send her a picture. You settle for a bolder idea, quite harmless if she doesn’t like you in that way, but kinda flirty if she does feel attracted to you.
You retouch your make up and push up your boobs, feeling a little slutty but thats the point, no?
You set your phone in front of you and your plate of arancini. Taking one of the balls in your hand, you said to the camera. “Well, I figured that after giving me your secret recipe, you at least deserved a live reaction.” You smile to the camera and bring the ball to your mouth, your teeth parting the crunchy exterior as its inside melted in your mouth. “Mmmmmhhhh”, you let out a low moan, as an expression of the pure joy and satisfaction that bite gave you. The delicious taste of the dish was really flooding your senses, your eyes rolling and mouth falling open, but you remember you are recording yourself for her and quickly regain your composure. “Well, I guess, you are going to be able to tell that was incredible. I am going to have to ask you for more recipes”. You stop recording and wonder if that was too much, hell your face while taking a bite of the food looks pornographic. A wave of courage takes over you and you press send, then you get hit by a wave of anxiety. 
It has been ten minuted and Melissa has not replied. You pace around your house, slowly losing your mind, your body shaking.
A few seconds later, your phone lights up. The name Melissa Schemmenti popping on your screen.
“Oh my, sweetheart, if you make those faces every time you eat my food, I am going to have to invite you over for dinner.”
“Anytime, gorgeous” - You said as you throw your phone on the couch, you figure if she called you that, there is no harm in using it on her.
“I am going to fill you up so well” 
Your eyes widen at her reply, oh it is on! 
“Can’t wait, Schemmenti” - you type as you bite your lower lip and run around of pure excitement.
“My place, Saturday, at 7pm” 
“Wouldn’t miss the chance to get a taste of your flavors.”
You send the last text and your face is red as a tomato, you can’t believe what you just said but you are so glad you did. Your mind is racing with thoughts about what is possibly going to happen this Saturday. How did everything escalate so quickly? Was everything on your mind? She was flirting right? RIGHT? You sigh and decide to try and distract yourself. Whatever it was, you will get to spend an evening with the redhead. 
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