zack snyder tweeting about mike's mic's video about the movie... björk on the cover of vogue... viral tweets about oscar issac's eyeliner... 2024 year of the SUCKER PUNCH ‼️‼️

what exactly is 'the bad “woke movement'. you mean Disney's attempts at political correctness in their casting choice? describing it as "woke" is a serious misuse of black slang.

I was a bit confused at first since I have switched the subject out of the Disney Snow White controversy some times ago.

I am sorry to inform you that the use of "woke" as a deragoratory term to designate the people we once called ironically "Social-Justice Warriors" is actually not a "black slang" anymore. In fact I didn't even know it was supposed to be a "black slang" originally, my perception of it was that it was originally a term that was created on the Internet in a positive way, to designate people that were actually fighting against all sorts of discriminations and social problems, and opening their eyes to the wrongness of societies and modern age... Only to then be switched, by the Internet itself at first, and then by the media who took the word back, to be used as a designation of extreme social-justice warriors, or people who'se extreme self-righteousness, mixed with either hypocrisy or just ignorance, resulted in them coming of as a more mad or harmful than helpful.

If you do not like me using the term, unfortunately for you you'll have to go after pretty much every American media, then after after European media - and I am not even counting the politics of both America and Europe! The term "woke" has left its Internet-exclusivity a long time ago, and now is used even in non-English speaking countries (such as France) to designate the extremes to which some people or groups carry on the "social war". Now the thing to be careful of is that many extreme-right or very hateful people will use "woke" as a way to degrade or humiliate rightful defenders of things such as feminism, transgender rights, homosexuality, etc, etc... So I want to insist: I am not susbscribing to any extreme-right ideology, and I know very well they are using this term for their own negative agenda.

But I am not of the extreme-left either, and as someone who saw very well the dangers of any kind of extremes, I have to recognize that there is indeed a bad, extreme "woke" movement, that ranges from the ridiculous to the hateful. It exists. To imagine that all fights for the right reasons are done with the right means is to be too naive.

A very recent case - which is not woke, because it isn't about social justice or social blights, but about ecology, however it illustrates VERY well the stupidity and hypocrisy of some of these modern extreme groups. In France there is an extreme ecological group that has been making a lot of noise and some extreme actions to alert people and authorities about climate change and asking for something to be done. Interesting, right? Good, right? Except that their actions are VERY dubious in effect. For example some times ago they did protests related to, I think it was the droughts and water supply handlings? I can't recall exactly the why of the protest - but they did so by destroying entire fields and putting several farmers in difficult position because they had their entire crops gone. It wasn't some big mass-industrial farming, it wasn't genetically modified stuff, it was just your regular farmer with his fields, and he had his whole crops destroyed by the group's protect - which wasn't even aimed at him (if I recall there was something about them mistaking his field for another nearby, or something). Now my memory of this case is very blurry as you can see - but one other case popped up just two days ago so I can clearly tell you the problem this time: a few days ago, the group protested against the instalation of a toxic waste disposal site near a city and precisely near a river that passed by the water's city. To protest that and alert the city's citizens, they poured tons of products in the river's water that turned it bright, glowing green - to show them the fear of toxic products reaching them by the water.

But what's the twist of the story? To make the water bright green, they poured ACTUAL toxic chemicals and colorants in the water, which resulted in killing numerous fishes of the river. It went viral on the Internet, the whole "ecologists kill fishes" thing, but it shows how by ignorance (here ignorance of the toxicity of the products you use), those who fight against pollution become the pollution-makers themselves.

Now, that was not related to social things so "woke" isn't to be applied to them - but it is a good illustration of how fighting one extreme can lead to another. But if you want a case of "bad woke" actions I have a perfect one for you - which is from before the term "woke" was taken back by the media. It was something that happened in the French part of Canada (and in general when you want some misguided and extreme woke behavior, you can go to Canada, they are very talented here at misguided good actions). It was a gesture done by Christian (Catholic) religious groups, related to the whole dreadful rediscovery of the horrors of the special so-called "schools" they had prepared for First Nations kids. You know, the ones with mass graves and such. To show that they wanted to bury the past behind them and reject the discrimination of Native-Americans, they decided to collect all sorts of old classics of French childhood literature that had depictions of First Nations people deemed offensive (for example Lucky Luke and Asterix comic books)... and they burned it in a huge bonfire.

Of course, thats CERTAINLY the best way to prove you want to help the people you have persecuted and killed for so long: do not give them money, do not change the laws, do not actually do something for them, just become book-burners! That's CERTAINLY going to help and that's CERTAINLY going to make you the "good guys".

You see what I mean by the "bad woke" movement? It isn't a movement in itself, but just the extremes these attempts at "good" and fighting against discrimination can lead to. Sometimes to the point of just coming off as a new form of discrimination. Another case, that was in France, and done in Paris. I personally think that it was a dubious idea, and maybe someone will disagree with me, but it was a project brought forward - to handle the help provided to rape victims. The whole idea was that man should be banned of all groups, organizations and help systems brought to rape victims, because in the politician's words, women had to stay between themselves, and rape victims had to cut all ties with men to get better. Another similar dubious "woke" incident (it happened, just like the one above, in Paris, because Paris recently went through a wave of bad-woke incidents and propositions thanks to the local government in power), was when a "set of safe space" was created, from which men were banned - all men - and which only welcomed... "Women and transgenders". The phrasing and formula might seem weird, and that's literaly how it was said, and it took not a long time to understand the problem: it welcomed all transgenders, and all women, but banned all men. Aka: transgender men either had to be banned from it, because they were men (so they lied upon saying they welcomed all transgenders) ; either they were allowed in, but thus not recognized as actual "men" and still considered women.

You see how there's some good intentions buried down there, but in effect it is twisted and warped in another form of discrimination?

When it comes to my worries about the new Snow-White movie, it isn't about an active, harmful, reverse-discrimination type of "bad woke". But I do fear about the "accidentally harmful" and "plain ridiculous" bad-woke. To handle the idea that a character named "Snow-White" is black is something that needs carefulness and intelligence - and Disney's had the bluntness and grace of a hammer wielded by an angry bear recently. I have one precise fear for example that I keep repeating around: if they choose to still refer to Snow-White's name as a reference to the fact she has a lighter skin and thus is beautiful because of it, and given they have chosen an actress with a light skin tone - it can result in a scenario enacting "colorism" fully. Aka, a practice and set of worldviews put in place in the slavery and discrimination-era America, about how the lighter the Black person's skin, the "better" and more "beautiful" they were. This resulted in practices such as putting "lighter" Blacks above "darker" ones, for example choosing Black people with light skin to oversee "darker" slaves and the "lighter" ones being given a less harsh treatment than the others.

Its a whole another cesspool of discrimination born of the horror that was America in this era - but it is still something that Afro-American people fight against and dislike today, and something many media have been accused of doing by putting "lighter skinned" Black characters in the position of "prettier" or "better" characters than "darker skinned" ones.

No need to tell you the whole dwarf issue is also a big "bad woke movement" move on the part of Disney. To answer to a loud minority that thinks the dwarfs roles in Snow-White is backward and insulting, they simply decide to erase them from the story... Despite the role of the seven dwarfs being something that many actors with dwarfism enjoy and defend because it was often their first entry into the acting world, and despite the fact that the original Disney seven dwarfs were positive and complex characters that were far more compelling and powerful than many other Snow-White adaptations (in fact, that's the problem, the reason the dwarfs are seen as "backwards" today is because so many post-Disney adaptations reduced them to goofy, joke secondary characters as flat as a cardboard cut-out). There are tons of ways of making the dwarfs strong and badass and cool and powerful characters - and it has been done before. (Just remember how the dwarfs in the original Disney movie are the only ones who stand up to the evil queen, and the only ones who make her VISIBLY AFRAID as they hunt her down to kill her in revenge).

So we come with the mixed and complicated result we have: Because a role is deemed "problematic", it is erased and replaced - but as a result, erasing an opportunity for actors with dwarfism to become famous and appear in a big blockbuster seen by millions is perceived as discrimination against said actors with dwarfism, as they are replaced by so-called "normal" people. They could have simply worked on making the dwarfs' characters a badass role the actors could have had no shame of playing, and they could have just gone wth what the original movie did - make the dwarfs the true heroes and protagonist of the tale. But they rather decided to close the door and make actors with dwarfism even less visible on screen.

I hope it clarifies my whole position on the subject.

NSFW Alphabet: Sub!Seonghwa Edition

A/N: idk anyone in Ateez who pushes the catboy agenda more than hwa and this precious soul just makes me have cute aggression. Lemme just remind everyone that stage presence ≠ bedroom preference, so he might be a demon on stage but I personally think he's very far from dominant in the bedroom. Also this is framed for a femme!presenting reader.

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

A very clingy baby! Even though he's the sub, he would want to hold you instead of the other way around; when you're cleaning up, give him a plushie to snuggle because he just feels very happy holding something. He would also have the most sparkly eyes ever, looking at you with pure love and adoration. He'll also be very hungry, so always have some food on hand and be prepared to be fed by him because "you need it, too, I don't care if you're my domme, lemme feed you and show you my love!"

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He's fave part on himself is probably his eyes because he knows how expressive they are for him and how transparent they are -- his eyes always betray his true emotions and considering he's a more private person, he likes this. His fave part on you would be your breasts, but not in a sexual way; whether you're part of the itty bitty titty committee or big titty gang, he likes them as a comfort thing, groping them or sucking on your nipples, it's very calming and relaxing for him!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He loves his face to be covered in either pussy juices/"cum" (since, ya know, pussies don't ejaculate lmao anyway) or use fake cum (or real cum if you have an actual dick) to cover his face and/or inner thighs, it'll get him going like nothing else. He also loves seeing his midsection painted with his own cum and also eating his own cum.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Every once in a while, he likes to fuck his plushies. No one would suspect this because he takes much care in cleaning them immediately afterward, so they keep their softness and hugability. He's recorded himself doing it a few times but always either deletes the videos or keeps them in a separate, unsuspecting folder in his phone; he's thought about sending them to you but never could bring himself to do so.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's had a few hook ups but most of them have been pretty vanilla as many hook ups tend to be, he knows what he's doing especially with that tongue of his.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Probably missionary, with you on your back and him fucking you. He can easily kiss you, suck on your neck or nipples, and you can easily grab his hair roughly, pull him in closer, scratch his back with your nails, and you two can make intense eye contact. Yeah, that's his favorite position.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's more passionate about it than anything. He likes it rough but not necessarily fast, and he likes it soft but not necessarily gentle. It's a very delicate balance that he prefers most of the time and can be difficult to pin down when the mood has to be forced from either of you -- when that happens, he rather not have sex at all.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Trimmed, doesn't bother to shave and he doesn't care what you do; bush, no bush, trimmed, shaved, waxed, whatever. However, he likes it when you shave for him down there as a sweet bonding experience, nothing kinky or sexual.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's very sincere and very intense during sex, especially with someone he's romantically involved with because he's not the most open person and, like Yeosang, takes some prying open emotionally so when he shares that emotional part of himself and trusts that other person, that translates directly to the bedroom. He can be a little goofy if he's particularly happy that day, like giggly kisses n' shit, but otherwise very sincere, very intense.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

If he jacks off, you know about it because he sends you audios of himself getting himself off, complete with moans, whimpers, groans, muffling himself, and him cumming in the end of it. He never sends videos, though, because his ass has a voice kink. He masturbates semi regularly just because he has a high sex drive and you're not always available so he temporarily satisfies himself.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

So, this man, has some kinks that get me thinking. He has an oral fixation for sure, so anything involving his tongue; he definitely has a breeding kink like hard-core "let me breed you, mommy/daddy, I wanna give you babies" breeding kink, more so than San; temperature play; pegging/anal play; cock rings; nail scratching; biting/marking; kitten play; shibari; restraints; voice kink; ASMR kink.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Hmmmm, maybe the bedroom? He doesn't really have a favorite place to do anything because each place brings a different kind of thrill for him, so anywhere he can look at and easily imagine you commanding him to take you or you taking him is his favorite place. His least favorite place is the shower because the water washes away the lube and is just generally an annoying interruption.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Doing a sexy, feminine dance for you. Sexy girl group concepts? He learns the choreo and dances it just for you; turns him on because he enjoys you intently watching him while being just out of reach. Rubbing your hand up and down his thigh, no matter how innocent, will also turn him on greatly. Also if you cook for him -- it can be as simple as ramen but as soon as he sees that you cooked for him, he's ready to pounce you and be at your every command.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don't think he would be into piss play or scat play (absolutely no hate to people who are into this lol) but I think he wouldn't like them just because he's a bit of a clean freak and all he would see is a mess to clean up and that would definitely ruin the mood for him. Another definite turn off of his is extreme pain; he likes a little bit here and there, like slapping his ass and thighs, nail scratches wherever you scratch him, but flogging and riding crops are a no go for him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He LIVES for giving oral and that's directly from his oral fixation. It keeps his mouth busy plus he gets to please his partner. Again, he also loves his face covered in cum and/or pussy juices, so oral is definitely such fun for him!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Moderate. He likes it a little faster than slower, but not exactly fast, if you get what I'm saying. He likes to feel you and you to feel him, so he wants it on the slower side of things but a slightly fast pace will be suitable for the most part. Only every once in a blue moon would he want you to fuck his brains out or to fuck yours out.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies involving penetration? Nah, not a fan. Quickies involving oral? Sign him the fuck up. He wants to see how fast he can get you to orgasm with just his tongue and since you derive such pleasure from it as well, you let him take on this challenge.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

As long as extreme pain is not involved, he's game for a lot of things. He's always wanted to try semi public sex, voyeurism, and submissive cuckolding, but he would only try this with one of his members since he trusts them quite a lot.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

I think he could probably go two, three rounds, maybe four if he has a crapton of energy for God only knows what reason. He has experience, jacks off sort of regularly, so he can last a good while in bed while being pounded into or pounding into you.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He's got dildos of varying sizes because he, like San, is also a size queen. He has a couple of buttons plugs and some vibrators, along with handcuffs and bondage rope. He has a couple pairs of kitten ears and a matching choker and butt plug.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to tease, but not in a bratty way. It's a very sweet way, like poking your cheek and rubbing it like a cat as he strokes your inner thigh and ghosts your genitals, teases you with food like "hey if I make this dish, maybe you can fuck my ass tonight" and he'd act all cutesy about it, he'll make suggestive comments while making direct eye contact, and wiggle his butt sometimes.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He's a happy medium between San and Yeosang. Hwa makes noise - groans, whimpers, moans, mewling - but he isn't loud with them per say, they're very throaty noises and he uses his chest to make them so they're low in volume but frequent.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He quite prefers the natural noises of sex between you two rather than having a playlist or any other background noise going. He's sensitive to noise in the first place and the background noise could overwhelm him in a bad way.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's average. Nothing too long, nothing too girthy, but boy does he know how to use his average dick regardless.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a bit of a high sex drive. Think like smack in the middle of average horny and extremely horny and that's Hwa. He can go like three days without sex with no complaints but coming up on a fourth day may be a little bit hard for him.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He becomes quite sleepy afterward, wanting to snuggle you to fall asleep while you rub his back up and down and he holds you and squeezes you like his personal plushie. It takes a while for him to actually fall asleep, but that's because it takes him a while to calm down enough to lull into a peaceful state of rest before succumbing to sleep.

oh man i have a Lot of thoughts about the autopsy of jane doe, both positive and critical For Sure, i'd be SO excited to see your analysis of it! definitely keeping an eye out for that 👀

thanks! i'm working on something article-like to talk about the film and i don't know what i want to do with it yet lol but if i don't post it on here i'll definitely link it. it's mainly a discussion of gender in possession/occult films in the same way that carol clover describes in men, women, and chainsaws - that there are dual plot lines in occult films, usually gendered masculine and feminine respectively, where the "main" feminine plot (the actual possession) is actually a way to explore the "real" masculine plot (the emotional conflict of the "man in crisis" protagonist). typically the man in crisis is too masculine, or "closed" emotionally, where the woman is too "open," which is why she acts as the vehicle for the supernatural occurrence as well as the core emotions of the film. the man has to learn how to become more open (though if he becomes too open, like father karras in the exorcist, he has to die by the end - he has to find a happy medium, where he doesn't actually transgress gender expectations too much. clover calls this state the "new masculine," and we might apply the term "toxic masculinity" to the "closed" emotional state). part of the "opening up" feature of the story is that it allows men to be highly emotionally expressive in situations where they otherwise might not be allowed to, which is cathartic for the assumed primary audience of these films (young men). another feature of the genre is white science vs black magic (once you exhaust the scientific "rational" explanations, you have to accept that something magic is happening). the autopsy of jane doe does this even more than the films she discusses when she published the book in 1992 (the exorcist, poltergeist, christine, etc) because the supernaturally influenced young woman who becomes this kind of vehicle is more of an object than a character. she doesn't have a single line of dialogue or even blink for the entire runtime of the movie. the camerawork often pans to her as if to show her reactions to the events of the movie, which seems kind of pointless because it's the same reaction the whole time (none) but it allows the viewer to project anything they want onto her - from personal suffering to cunning and spite. 

compare again to the exorcist: is the story actually about regan mcneil? no. but do we care about her? sure (clover says no, but i think we at least feel for her situation lol). and do we get an idea of what she's like as a person? yes. even though her pain and her body are used narratively as a framework for karras' emotional/religious crisis, we at least see her as a person. both she and her mother are expendable to the "real" plot but they're very active in their roles in the "main" plot - our "jane doe" isn't afforded even that level of agency or identity. so. is that inherently sexist? well, no - if there were other women in the film who were part of the "real" plot, i would say that the presence of women with agency and identity demonstrate enough regard for the personhood of women to make the gender of the subject of the autopsy irrelevant. but there are none. of the three important women in the film, we have 1) an almost corpse, 2) an absent (dead) mother, and 3) a one dimensional girlfriend who is killed off for a man's character development/cathartic expression of emotions. all three are just platforms for the men in crisis of this narrative. 

and, to my surprise, much of the reception to the film is to embrace it as a feminist story because the witch is misconstrued as a badass, powerful, Strong Female Character girl boss type for getting revenge on the men who wronged her, with absolutely no consideration given to what the movie actually ends up saying about women. and the director has said that he embraces this interpretation, but never intended it. so like. of course you're going to embrace the interpretation that gives you critical acclaim and the moral high ground. but it's so fucking clear that it was never his intention to say anything about feminism, or women in general, or gender at all. so i find it very frustrating that people read the film that way because it's just. objectively wrong.

there's also things i want to say about this idea that clover talks about in a different chapter of the book when she discusses the country/city divide in a lot of horror (especially rape-revenge films) in which the writer intends the audience to identify with the city characters and be against the country characters (think of, like, house of 1000 corpses - there's pretty explicit socioeconomic regional tension between the evil country residents and the travelers from the city) but first, they have to address the real harm that the City (as a whole) has inflicted upon the Country (usually in the forms of environmental and economic destruction) so in order to justify the antagonization the country people are characterized by, their "retaliation" for these wrongs has to be so extreme and misdirected that we identify with the city people by default (if country men feel victimized by the City and react by attacking a city woman who isn't complicit in the crimes of the City in any of the violent, heinous ways horror movies employ, of course we won't sympathize with them). why am i bringing this up? well, clover says this idea is actually borrowed from the western genre, where native americans are the Villains even as white settlers commit genocide - so they characterize them as extremely savage and violent in order to justify violence against them (in fiction and in real life). the idea is to address the suffering of the Other and delegitimize it through extreme negative characterization (often, with both the people from the country and native americans, through negative stereotyping as well as their actions). so i think that shows how this idea is transferred between different genres and whatever group of people the writers want the viewers to be against, and in this movie it’s happening on the axis of gender instead of race, region, or class. obviously the victims of the salem witch trials suffered extreme injustice and physical violence (especially in the film as victim of the ritual the body clearly underwent) BUT by retaliating for the wrongs done to her, apparently (according to the main characters) at random, she's characterized as monstrous and dangerous and spiteful. her revenge is unjustified because it’s not targeted at the people who actually committed violence against her. they say that the ritual created the very thing it was trying to destroy - i.e. an evil witch. she becomes the thing we're supposed to be afraid of, not someone we’re supposed to sympathize with. she’s othered by this framework, not supported by it, so even if she’s afforded some power through her posthumous magical abilities, we the viewer are not supposed to root for her. if the viewer does sympathize with her, it’s in spite of the writing, not because of it. the main characters who we are intended to identify with feel only shallow sympathy for her, if any - even when they realize they’ve been cutting open a living person, they express shock and revulsion, but not regret. in fact, they go back and scalp her and take out her brain. after realizing that she’s alive! we’re intended to see this as an acceptable retaliation against the witch, not an act of extreme cruelty or at the very least a stupid idea lol. 

(also - i hate how much of a buzzword salem is in movies like this lol, nothing about her injuries or the story they “read” on her is even remotely similar to what happened in salem, except for the time period. i know they don’t explicitly say oh yeah, she was definitely from salem, but her injuries really aren’t characteristic of american executions of witches at all so i wish they hadn’t muddied the water by trying to point to an actual historical event. especially since i think the connotation of “witch” and the victims of witch trials has taken on a modern projection of feminism that doesn’t really make sense under any scrutiny. anyway)

not to mention the ending: what was the writer intending the audience to get from the ending? that the cycle of violence continues, and the witch’s revenge will move on and repeat the same violence in the next place, wherever she ends up. we’re supposed to feel bad for whoever her next victims will be. but what about her? i think the movie figures her maybe as triumphant, but she’s going to keep being passed around from morgue to morgue, and she’s going to be vivisected again and again, with no way to communicate her pain or her story. the framework of the story doesn’t allow for this ending to be tragic for her, though - clearly the tragedy lies with the father and son, finally having opened up to one another, unfortunately too late, and dying early, unjust deaths at the hands of this unknowable malignant entity. it doesn’t do justice to her (or the girlfriend, who seems to be nothing but collateral damage in all of this - in the ending sequence, when the police finds the carnage, it only shows them finding the bodies of the men. the girlfriend is as irrelevant to the conclusion as she is to the rest of the plot). 

but does this mean the autopsy of jane doe is a “bad” movie? i guess it depends on your perspective. ultimately, it’s one of those questions that i find myself asking when faced with certain kinds of stories that inevitably crop up often in our media: how much can we excuse a story for upholding regressive social norms (even unintentionally) before we have to discount the whole work? i don’t think the autopsy of jane doe warrants complete rejection for being “problematic” but i think the critical acclaim based on the idea that it’s a feminist film should be rejected. i still consider it a very interesting concept with strong acting and a lot of visual appeal, and it’s a very good piece of atmospheric horror. it’s does get a bit boring at certain points, but the core of the film is solid. it’s also not trying to be sexist, arguably it’s not overtly sexist at all, it’s just very very androcentric at the expense of its female characters, and i’m genuinely shocked that anyone would call it feminist. so sure, let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water, but let’s also be critical about how it’s using women as the stage for men’s emotional conflict 

also re: my description of this little project as “a film isn’t feminist just because there’s a woman’s name in the title” - i actually don’t want to skim over the fact that “jane doe” isn’t a real name. of the three women in the film, only one has a real name; the other two are referred to by names given to them by men. i’ll conclude on this note because i want to emphasize the lack of even very basic ways of recognizing individual identity afforded to women in this film. so yeah! the end! thanks for your consideration if you read this far! 

*proceeds to do exactly everything but work on my pets* H-have some faeries and lore dump I had rotting in the cabinet

[Light Faerie - Justine] A stern light faerie who manages Faerieland's treasury. Rules and regulations are her creed, and she will not allow any misdeed under her watch.

Despite her uptight demeanor, she has a peculiar fondness for games of chance. She seems to have an unwavering confidence in the certainty of numbers- and the dice, once cast, are fair and absolute arbitrators in her eyes. Of course, it could just be that she's addicted to gambling. When there's no clear protocol for a situation, she opts to flip coins and leave it to luck and happenstance.

-Fwaku's life was saved by Justine, who had happened to be passing by the area. She decided to flip a coin to determine his fate- and as luck would have it, he would survive. -The townspeople that had found Fwaku suggested that Justine should give the draik a name. The exchange probably went something like this: Townspeople: Thank you great faerie!! Would you give the honor of naming this child you just saved????? Justine: (uh shit) Give me a moment. *furious dice rolling* Justine: I grant this child the name...F..W...Q...Fwaku. Townspeople: WOW!! WHAT AN HONOR!!

(What kind of name is Fwaku......)

-While Fwaku is generally irreverent and unlikable to most parties he comes across, he displays a great deal of respect towards Faeries because of his background. Justine, in her act of saving and naming Fwaku, also unwittingly left him with a strange blessing: he has extremely good luck to the point of absurdity, which has saved his skin from karmic retribution countless times in the past.

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[Fire Faerie - Heliae] A go-getter fire faerie with a particularly strong affinity to her element. Still young for a faerie, she has trouble controlling her excessive energy and often bursts into flames when she's excited.

Fun-loving but a bit careless, she loves to attend concerts, festivals, and other events where crowds gather...a serious fire hazard waiting to happen. She doesn't seem to fully grasp the danger she poses to those around her, and was originally sequestered away in Faerieland before she decided to run away- as you do, when you're a young faerie whose had your freedom denied.

Very explosive. very explosive. very explosive.................................

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[Earth Faerie - Lottie] A lax but cryptic earth faerie who appreciates tranquility. She wandered into Kiko Lake some long time ago, and has since stuck around trying to achieve what she calls 'perfect bliss.' Generally found quietly meditating and contemplating her surroundings- usually with sweets and a cup of borovan as accompaniment. Her perception of time seems to be a little out of sync with the world around her.

Though usually impassive and calm, she hates above else having her peace and quiet disturbed. She will, with a quiet but tremendous fury, catapult raucous intruders out the window. Her longest recorded throw was over a mile! So impressive is her throwing skill, that kiko children often dare one another to see who can get flung the farthest.

-Because the architecture around Kiko Lake are built with kikos in mind, it's not uncommon to see the faerie bump her head on the door frames and ceilings. Fortunately, there's also never a shortage of bandages in the vicinity.

[Dover] Brown Kiko. Ever since Lottie began living on their family land generations back, their crops have prospered- especially asparagus. Now, the family is in the Borovan business, exporting premium blends of chocolate and asparagus for which Kiko Lake is now famed.

Dover isn't the kiko's real name- that was the name of his great great grandfather, but Lottie doesn't seem to make a distinction. All of her little helper kikos are 'Dover' to her. His job is to run around fulfilling Lottie's errands, whether that be procuring snacks or chasing pesky kids out of her yard.

---

[Dark Faerie - Alluce] A vain dark faerie living near Neovia, known to kidnap Neopets to force into servitude. She periodically terrorizes the citizens of Neovia to spread her influence. She wants, above all, to be feared and revered! ...but her actual ambitions tend to be quite small and petty. Knowledgeable about mirrors and magic involving them.

Though she revels in garnering fear, she's rather full of fears and cares herself- the thought of the true horrors lurking within the depths of the Haunted Woods makes her quiver. All smoke and mirrors, no bite.

-Doesn't get along well with Clariote. Alluce can't maintain her high-and-mighty mistress of evil theatrics against Clari's general irreverence. ABSOLUTELY D I S R E S P E C T F U L

---

[Air Faerie - Nephele] A fickle air faerie scout with a light-hearted but arrogant demeanor. One of the faeries tasked by Justine to recover Faerieland's lost artifacts, which were scattered across the lands in the aftermath of the Faerie's Ruin. Holds a strong belief that Neopets are lesser beings, considering them to be incompetent without Faeries.

Rand (Faerie Tonu) and  Bell's (Faerie Tuskaninny) supervisor. She usually leaves the Neopets to do all the dirty work and takes credit for their efforts, usually under the justification that Neopets 'owe' the Faeries anyways.

---

[Social Media Faerie - Papilla] A young faerie, rare in her time (Einse’s Future). Big-time celebrity and social media influencer, she loves travelling Neopia and blogging about her adventures (and promoting sponsored products.) Has a great love towards Neopets and lives life at her fullest interacting with them, but holds feelings of isolation due to being perhaps the last known faerie in Neopia. She’s invested in discovering why Faeries have all but disappeared in her time, and spends some of her time flitting across Neopia looking into the matter. She has a terrible sense of humor, and she sometimes has strange fits where she floods her social media with incomprehensible jokes and memes- terrorizing her followers’ feeds. She does all this in earnest, thinking her jokes are hilarious, but her fans generally think she’s just trolling and get a kick out of it. This creates a strange cycle of positive reinforcement as Papilla continues to get many reactions from her bad jokes, reinforcing her confidence in her humor. SOMEONE STOP THIS FAERIE

------------------------------------

[The dynamic between Faeries and Neopets] Neopets aid Faeries, Faeries grant blessings. The dynamic between Neopets and Faeries is mutually beneficial, for the most part.

-Power of belief is essential to grant power to a Faerie's magic. Neopets, by helping Faeries on the premise that they will receive a reward or be granted a blessing, creates a transaction of belief. This is the premise of Faerie quests, which plays a vital role in powering the barrier that protects Neopia from wraiths (among other things.)

-Faeries are perhaps better defined as 'memetic' as opposed to 'elemental'- their magic is framed on a concept or idea, which relies on the belief/understanding/recognition of the themes surrounding the idea in question. The more wide-spread and strongly understood the idea, the greater the manifestation of a faerie's magic. (Motes, though simpler entities, also work on the same logic)

The basic elements, for example, are widely and easily understood as a concept- which may be why the majority of the faerie population falls in this category. (Something like a singular 'Fire' Faerie, for example, would probably be TOO POWERFUL AN IDEA to contain as a single being, so instead there's just a lot of them.)

-Names are very important, because they give shape to a concept or idea. -When they're cut-off from belief, they lose strength (Bottled Faeries) -They can shrink! Probably to conserve magic. -A Faerie without wings is essentially unheard of (with the special exception of Water Faeries). Taking away their wings is one of the most heinous things you can do to a Faerie. -Faeries are born spontaneously? Most of them just appear one day out of the ether or whatever. -They're ageless and nigh immortal

they're......the OG gijinkas <-- hold on this is actually somewhat relevant but that's a story for another time

[Shenkuu - A curious case study of Kaia, the Shenkuu Faerie] Kaia the Shenkuu Faerie appeared spontaneously in a relatively recent timeframe- probably within an average Neopian lifetime. She's a young faerie, younger than most of her kind. She's in the same category as Jhuidah and Taelia- faeries with a strong conceptual connection to the land they watch over.

There are no other (known) faeries in Shenkuu, which implies that the faerie population in Shenkuu is very low or...non-existent? At the very least, it can be said that Faeries are novel in Shenkuu, given that Kaia mentions how everyone stares at her. If we go a step further, we could postulate that Faeries, as a concept, isn't a part of common knowledge in Shenkuu as a whole.

Almost as if the concept of 'Faeries' have never existed here...?

-Shenkuu was a land that had barred itself from the outside world for an undetermined amount of time. The land only recently opened their doors to the rest of Neopia (Cyodrake's Gaze) (*in my lore I'm pinning that down to like 10~15 yrs ago for character reasons but passage of time in Neopia is not very well defined so.... shrugs) -It can be assumed that there was still some exchange occurring with the outside at a smaller scale (Airship merchants, travellers who ended up in or out of Shenkuu by happenstance, Neopians living in areas close to but not quite in Shenkuu proper, etc) -Assumably, Shenkuu has a history perhaps dating back to the heyday of Altador and other 'ancient' civilizations (1000+ years) -This creates a situation where: a. There never were faeries to begin with in Shenkuu or b. There used to be faeries, but they disappeared from Shenkuu AND from common knowledge

-Kaia's manifestation may have been the direct result of the opening of Shenkuu to Neopia- with the arrival of outside trade and ideas, so too did the knowledge of Faeries. Once the faerie 'meme' took hold in Shenkuu, where there was a void of Faeries, it took form as the Shenkuu Faerie: Kaia. This is why she's so young as a faerie- she probably spawned sometime between Cyodrake's Gaze and the present day. (Alternatively, she might have existed in Shenkuu before the events of Cyodrake's Gaze but I think it still holds that she popped up in a pretty recent timeframe.) Kaia herself only seems to know Faeries through the knowledge she received from travelers.  

Songbird 1 - A Mission

Songbird - Chapter 1

A/N: This is sort of an AU kind of thing. It’s gonna mix fanon and canon info, so bear with me. It also contains spoilers for a lot of the BNHA/MHA plot (manga and anime). This is also very self-indulgent. The main character is an OC of mine, so I'm sorry if you're not into that.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the BNHA/MHA universe, nor its characters. This work is intended for entertainment purposes only. My own characters are, however, of my creation.

Content Warnings: Mentions of death(s), including of family members. Some violence. Blood. Mentions of sharp objects such as knives, swords, scissors, etc. Tattoos. Swearing/strong language.

The sun shined down on Asa's wings, causing her white feathers to reflect the light into her opponent's eyes. This gave her the advantage she needed to send them flying backward, causing his back to hit one of the gym's walls. 

"Another bloody training session, my Commander," Caique chuckled, handing Asa a bottle of water and a towel. The warrior was drenched in sweat, red in the face, and her ponytail was quickly slipping undone.

"Thanks, Caique," She thanked him, taking the bottle and gulping half of the content in less than 3 seconds.

"Wow, intense cardio today?" He teased, covering his smirk with a heavily tattooed hand.

"Why, yes, actually," Her eyebrows were raised as she patted the towel across her neck and face, "Will you be joining me for muscle training?" She set the items on a bench to her left.

"Unfortunately, we have a meeting in fifteen minutes with the parliament. You should get ready," He frowned, a grave tone lacing his words.

"Fuck," Asa groaned. If there was one thing she hated more than forced cardio, it was parliament meetings. Those old, white-headed people were a bore and downright entitled. This was going to be torture.

"You should avoid repeating that word during the meeting," Caique's sarcasm fell to deaf ears. Asa was already marching to the showers to make herself at least presentable for the meeting.

"We'll meet at the emerald doors?" Once again, he was ignored. The tall male smiled at her back with fondness. He felt sorry for the parliament members.

The truth was, the members were afraid of Asa. They often had to walk on eggshells around her, especially during meetings. Her herculean resolve to make sure the decisions being made would cater to the people's needs led her to - for lack of a better word - passionate verdicts. Until, eventually, Caique would swoop in and help them find a middle ground solution.

That was the only reason he was allowed into these meetings. He was only the Captain of the Royal Guard. But Asa, the Commander of Her Majesty's army, was a force to be reckoned with, especially when it came to the people. And she only listened to him.

In the parliament meeting room, the members were silently talking amongst themselves. You could say they were preparing for a storm. Kind of like we prepare ourselves before a gruesome class with a tyrant professor.

"I swear! That woman is too temperamental for her position. We don't need a Commander that'll lose their marbles every time a minor crime occurs. This is why I would've preferred the Queen had chosen Yara to be Commander." One of them grumbled as they all took their seats.

"I agree. But Minister Yara is doing a fantastic job! Farmers have never produced so much in such a short time! Her openness to new and sustainable practices is what brought our crops back to life!"

"True, but she would have made a fine Minister of Security. Though I believe perhaps Domi's warrior background would've also made a perfect fit!"

"Yes, yes!" They chorused in agreement. Yara and Domi listened to their whispers with frowns. They knew Asa better than anyone. Although she could be hard to deal with, she deserved her position more than anyone. 

"Good morning," Asa's voice echoed in the large meeting room. The ministers took their seats, greeting her back with low voices and bowed heads. Caique and her scoffed as they sat down.

Not a minute later, the doors opened again. Santos, the Queen's right-hand man, came in. He was dressed in a long royal blue coat with silver trimmings, dark leather pants, and a white chemise. His black books clicked as he made his way to the end of the large table in the center of the room. 

"Let's try to be as concise and objective as possible," He gave Asa a pointed look and sat down. She smiled back at him mischievously. The two had a brother-sister relationship. Santos often had to scold her for some of her escapades, so to speak.

The meeting began, and Asa tried her best to behave. Whenever he noticed her wings flutter, Caique would softly nudge her so she'd calm herself. It wasn't her fault these old farts were about as wise as a rotten egg. Oh, how she wished she could just sink her sword in-

"Minister Asa," Asa lifted her eyes from the table. "Please present your diplomacy strategies." Santos raised an eyebrow, urging her to do as he said.

"Right," Asa cleared her throat and stood up.

"Dear members of the court," She greeted them, "For our diplomatic measures and to ensure peace throughout the kingdom, I have a few strategies." 

Two hours later, the meeting ended. Santos asked Asa to stay behind to discuss some plans they had, so she dismissed Caique. 

Once the Hand of the Queen and her were alone, Asa took a seat closer to him and grabbed one of the papers stacked in front of him.

"If we could just convince Minister Isaac that the anti-rebellion plan is too extreme mayb-" Santos raised a hand, interrupting her.

"Asa, I didn't ask you to stay behind to discuss politics."

"You didn't?"

"No, I did not."

"Okay... Then for what? I have some training to conduct."

"I'm aware," Santos chuckled. "The Queen is coming to talk to you. It's somewhat of an urgent matter." He trailed off, unsure of how to explain the situation without alarming Asa. It was too late for that.

"The Queen?!" Asa all but shrieked. "What's going on? Are we under imminent attack? Have my scouts returned with grave news?" Asa stood up abruptly, ready to leave and prepare the army for an attack. Her wings were preparing to take flight when she felt a hand on her wrist.

"Calm down, Asa, please!" Santos tried his best to hold onto her.

"My child," Asa stilled at the Queen's voice. "Please calm yourself. You are Commander of the Royal Army, act as such."

"Yes, Your Majesty." Asa immediately answered, bowing in respect.

"Now, Santos, please explain why Asa isn't holding the usual training session right now." The Queen asked as she took Santos's seat.

Her Majesty, Queen Yeba of Pindorama, was a powerful and intimidating woman. She had brown skin, with a red undertone, pale yellow eyes, and white hair. Her facial features were always schooled to be serious, but the lines around her lips showed how much the Queen truly enjoyed life. She had full eyebrows, a slightly flat round nose, plump lips, and high cheekbones. Queen Yeba represented the richness and power of her land, and Asa had always admired her.

"Asa, as her Majesty had entrusted me with telling you why you're here," Santos began, "Please listen until the end. If you have any questions or objections, you can ask them once I'm done." Asa nodded for him to continue.

"Her Majesty has received an urgent message from the Prime Minister of Japan." Santos took the vacant seat to the right of the Queen. "They have recently dealt with a powerful villain, with a quirk named All For One. Unfortunately, the results of the confrontation were devastating. Many of their champions, or heroes as they call them, were lost in battle or severely wounded. Physically and mentally."

Asa furrowed her eyebrows. She knew that kingdom from the hours she spent reviewing war tactics and diplomatic agreements. They were on good terms, and she hoped they stayed that way.

"They were, however, able to capture the dangerous quirk owner, as well as some of his followers. Most importantly, they managed to capture his would-be successor, a man with a decay quirk." Santos looked at the Queen to confirm he could go on.

"Continue, Santos."

"Yes, Your Majesty." Santos cleared his throat and continued. "They believe our healing assistance would be of great help. We are known for our many powerful healing quirks. And our natural resources are valuable assets in the medical area."

"This is a wonderful idea, Your Highness," Asa smiled. "If we lend them a few of our healers and send some resources for their hospitals, our alliance will grow even stronger!" 

"That is one of the points. But, I'm afraid you have a specific role to play in this part." Santos fiddled with his fingers, afraid of what Asa's reaction to what he was about to say would be. 

"I don't understand," Asa frowned, "I'll prepare a team to escort the healers and equipment. Right?" She looked from the Queen to Santos back and forth.

"I shall tell her, Santos. Thank you for your help." The Queen smiled at him and stood up, her royal blue dress cascading down her frame.

"Asa, my child," Queen Yeba stood behind her chair and placed her hands on Asa's shoulders. "You are being sent as a healer. And you will stay as a show of our alliance."

"What?" Asa's voice dropped to a whisper. "Your Highness, I'm not a healer. I'm a warrior, a soldier at best. I live to serve you and the army." Her words were pronounced clearly, strongly. Her wings were puffed out.

"We need a spy there. The Prime Minister needs someone to keep an eye on their Hero Commission. It's an organization that has been causing nothing but trouble, and he fears what will happen should they get their hands on the decay quirk. Or worse." The Queen explained.

"Oh," Asa sighed in relief. "So I won't really have to act as a healer?"

"Not quite..." Santos intervened. 

"Oh boy."

"Oh boy, indeed, Asa," Her Majesty chuckled. "You'll have to brush up on those healing techniques books."

"With all due respect," Asa pursed her lips, "The last time I practiced healing, I was six years old. It was before I lost my parents to the War of Clouds. I don't think I'm the right person for this mission." She bit her lip, trying not to think about her family. 

"I understand." The Queen then did something unexpected. She kneeled next to Asa's chair and looked up at her, holding her hands.

"Listen, my child," She began. Asa's and Santos's eyes widened as they gaped at their monarch on her knees. Asa's entire body, including her wings, went rigid.

"You have to let go of the hurt and the wounds of the past," She squeezed Asa's hands in her own, "You can be the kindest and most talented healer of all times. It's in your blood. Allow yourself to reconnect with your roots, rediscover your quirk. Bring honor to your family, Asa of the Kuatamunato tribe."

"My Queen, I'm not sure. I don't want to cause issues if I can't perform any healing."

"That won't be a problem. You'll have plenty of time to prepare."

"Really? That's great! I'll start studying right away."

"Uh, Asa? Her Majesty meant you'll have plenty of time there."

"Wait, what?"

"Indeed, Asa," Queen Yeba stood up. "You're leaving tomorrow."

"My Queen!" Asa began to protest, but the Queen interrupted her.

"I won't hear your excuses anymore, Asa. Santos will explain the rest." The Queen left after that, not giving Asa a chance to object. 

Asa turned to Santos, eyebrows almost touching her hairline.

"Well?"

"Right, I should probably explain it a bit more."

"Yeah, you should." Asa crossed her arms.

"Okay," Santos took a deep breath. "You now know about their situation and the kind of help they need. And you heard the Queen herself ask you to go and act as a healer."

"Yes, I'm almost painfully aware of that burden."

"Less sass, please. Just listen," Santos pointed his finger at her. "What Her Majesty means is that you'll be sent there as a healer, but also as a spy. Your actual mission will be to gather information on the Hero Commission and their illegal, borderline cruel activities. We have a few files you can go over during your trip."

"Okay, everything makes sense except for the healer part." Asa sighed. "Santos, you and I both know I am incapable of healing a freaking plant, let alone a bunch of champions from another country. I'm afraid this will be a disaster."

"Here's the thing: Your cover is going to be as healer and teacher at a hero high school."

"You're demoting me to school nurse?! I'm the fucking Commander of the Royal Army! I'm no school nurse!" Asa bellowed indignantly, her wings flapping behind her aggressively. Santos resisted the urge to snort at her outburst and continued.

"At the school, you'll also be lecturing music classes-"

"Ah, the classic Siren method." 

"That is your quirk, Asa."

"Whatever. This still sounds insane."

"Asa!" Santos reprimanded. "Her Majesty is doing this for you. We considered sending other soldiers, spies, and healers for this task. We chose you because of your abilities, your training, and your quirk. You have to start letting go of the past. Her Majesty believes this will give you a chance to embrace your quirk." Asa felt her shoulders tense. He had no right speaking about her past like that.

"It's stopping you from developing. Your wings are growing weaker every year, and you know this. You know you need to use your quirk to keep your whole body strong. Why are you torturing yourself like this?" Santos was grasping at straws, hoping to get any sort of reaction from her. 

And he did. Asa stood up, her icy blue eyes dark and glazed over. Her wings were wide open, intimidating him. She looked into his eyes and sneered.

"Because I wasn't enough. I couldn't save anyone." Asa gritted out. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. Asa had to calm down. She couldn't lose control now. 

"What time do I leave?"

"Tomorrow after lunch."

"Who's to take over after I leave?"

"Caique."

"Good. I've done my best to train Caique."

"I'll make sure to keep him in line."

"I hate that you're right."

"I know. I love you, too, my little sister." Santos walked over to her and pulled her into an embrace.

"Where in Japan am I going to?"

"Musutafu."

"I hate it already."

"Of course. It wouldn't be you if you didn't."

Chapter 2

Hello hi I just wanted to say I am absolutely here for Leah and Haley being girlfriends... hippie artist and pretty fashion girl??? Match made in heaven. Thank you. My crops are watered.

LISTEN…….. You have hereby given me permission to wall-of-text about why I love this ship so much lmao…

I already started off loving Haley because she’s IMO the best bachelorette in the game. I love not only how she grows as a character (compared to some of the others who can feel stagnant, even though I love them all too) but how her “growth” doesn’t mean that she sacrifices her personality completely.She was the first villager I ever romanced playing SDV because I was curious to see how she would be written and I was so, so pleasantly surprised. It’s so easy and common for characters like Haley to either stay as a shallow caricature of a “mean, girly girl” forever as a punching-bag for the writers’ projections, OR for her to do a complete 180 as if being girly, or interested in fashion, or not academic are bad traits to be “fixed” in order for the character to become likeable - especially since this was essentially a first-person dating sim, which often plays into the fantasy where a mean girl is turned into a totally pacified wifey-type by the (usually male) PC. I was fully expecting and bracing for Haley to go from being a caricature of a “mall brat” Mean Girl to being a caricature of an “I’m not like other girls” Cool Girl (or worse, “I’m so glad I Grew Up and realised all I need in my life is my hubby!”, but I wasn’t quite getting that vibe from SDV).

But that didn’t happen. Major props to CA for creating a character who DID grow and learn to appreciate things outside of her little bubble without feeling the need to abandon/criticise the things she used to like. She learns that shopping/makeup/boys (wink) etc. aren’t the only important things in her life, and she expands her horizons, but those things are still important to her. As someone who’s also interested in fashion and makeup it was refreshing to see those hobbies still portrayed in a positive light as opposed to something she had to “move past”.

So. Anyway. That’s why I love Haley so much and why I particularly like a narrative of her discovering she’s a wlw (thank you Stardew Valley for watering MY crops by giving everyone canon bi~ reads) as it ties in with her growing and maturing as a person.

And so when I looked at the roster of girls in Stardew Valley I felt like Leah was the best one to complement her character in a relationship:

Haley’s biggest obstacle in her life right now is that she’s very sheltered and, as a result, a little spoiled. Her parents are globe-trotting and her older sister has been left to look after her. The age gap between the sisters doesn’t seem to be that big and Emily isn’t very confrontational at the best of times, so I think she just took the path of least resistance, which was to do everything herself rather than argue with Haley who still sees her as a peer and not an authority figure.Leah, conversely, has had to become extremely independent and self-sufficient, very recently. Her narrative plot line about leaving an (if not abusive, then at least implied to be toxic/unhealthy) relationship and a position where she was “comfortable” but unhappy is very fresh and it’s exactly where Haley needs to be. Leah is in a prime position to, basically, give Haley a kick up the rear and tell her to get her act together, but without it coming off as too sanctimonious or parental since Leah is still going through it and learning herself. Two young adults navigating their way through adulthood and pulling each other along rather than one grabbing the other by the hand and “fixing” them.

The flipside of this is that Leah is in her position through choice, which she was privileged to be able to make. She CHOSE to leave behind a life in the big city and a stable career to pursue the aesthetic of living in a little country cabin and making art all day. Haley wants the opposite, but can’t make it happen. Haley would KILL to be able to pack up her life and move to the city to pursue her dreams - Fashion? Photography? Fashion photography? - but she can’t. She’s sheltered because she has everything provided for her in Pelican Town, but that doesn’t translate to having the same opportunities for forward momentum as Leah. Her parents aren’t implied to be very supportive of her dreams, so they’re not going to fund a move for her, and we constantly see that there are limited employment opportunities in Pelican Town unless she wants to work for minimum wage at Joja. So she’s kind of stuck. Narratively, we’re supposed to see Leah’s desire to move from the city to the country as a positive story arc (because it mirrors the player’s) while we’re supposed to see Haley’s desire to move from the country to the city as somehow being shallow or consumerist, and I think Leah herself would fall into the trap of thinking that way, which would be eye-opening for her.When you look at it, their narratives mirror each other. It’s easy to say that Haley is spoiled and out of touch with the “real world”, but Leah is also out of touch with reality in that not everyone can do what she did. I like Leah a lot and I’m not saying her life or her decisions were easy - and she definitely does seem to be genuinely “roughing it” and struggling for money when we meet her in-game - but she still got there by choice and she still does have a safety net of sorts, since it’s implied she could probably get re-hired in whatever lucrative field she worked in before moving. Haley doesn’t have that - her “safety net” of her parents’ house and her sister only works to support her as long as she stays put.I can see this being a really delicious and rewarding narrative point between them as they started to get to know each other, because I think they would probably HATE each other at first, lol. Leah would think Haley was childish and represented everything she disliked about “fake” city living while Haley would think Leah was pretentious and ungrateful.

Also I definitely love that hippie girl/mall girl contrast BUT please consider - Haley is also an artist and I think they’d both “get” each other on that level. Nobody in town considers Haley an artist. Leah is a “real” artist, a fine artist and a sculptor. Elliott is a “real” artist by way of being an author. Emily is a “real” artist for her sewing and… y’know… general aura. Those are defining aspects of their character. But to the other people in town, and even to the player, art is not one of Haley’s notable features. Her photography is just a throwaway idea. She’s the shallow, frilly, pink, bubblegum-scented boy-crazy “girly girl” who just also happens to take photos sometimes.But photography is serious TO HALEY. It’s pretty much the only thing she does around town other than wandering aimlessly. She has some pretty impressive equipment and she even builds a dark room for herself, either implicitly converting it from a walk-in wardrobe (which demonstrates how she sees her own priorities, regardless of how others see her) OR she builds it from scratch, which is even more dedicated. I think Leah is the best person in town to recognise that Haley is also an artist who’s dedicated to her craft and probably the only person to really encourage her to pursue it, to tell her that it’s worthwhile and not just some silly hobby. Leah would be able to see a lot of her own internal struggles over art in Haley, about whether it was “good enough”.

Conversely if there’s one thing Haley has which Leah lacks, it’s confidence. Leah is full of self-doubt about her art, her life choices, etc. whereas Haley’s main issue is apathy; once she finds something she’s actually passionate about, she’s very self-assured. I think once they broke the ice and started to become friends, if Leah expressed even a smidgen of self-doubt Haley would shut it down with very over-the-top but sincere pep talks.

I also just think their personalities contrast well, lol. Haley is extremely blunt but she’s not really trying to be rude, it’s just that the things she say often come from a sheltered perspective (i.e. “appearance is important to me” -> “[my concept of] appearance is important to everyone” -> “I should tell people if they’re doing Appearance wrong”). Leah on the other hand is very casual and polite but also hard to offend. She’s mostly content to let the odd comment roll off her back, but as we’ve seen with Kel, she’s also not afraid to tell people off when they’re being inconsiderate, which is what Haley needs - someone who won’t ditch her for putting her foot in her mouth, like most would/do, but also someone who won’t just enable her to stay sheltered.

Also in the context of this being a wlw ship/narrative, I think Haley would need a partner who was comfortable in their own sexuality since Haley (and her thematic counterpart Alex) are both extremely stuck in compulsive heterosexuality and sort of need a partner who… isn’t? Or else they’d just get sucked into a “will-they-won’t-they” vortex for a million years where neither of them know how to make the first move. Leah is the only bachelor(ette) who by default has any canonical LGBTQ relationship before the farmer, and that energy just translates well for Haley, IMO. I think if Haley found out Leah was a wlw then it would force Haley to reconsider her assumptions about her own sexuality.

Leah would go absolutely googoo gaga over Haley IMO and it’s just fun to picture her at the start of their interactions being like “god dammit she annoys me so much but DAMB .. .. .. girl pretty”

I doubt anyone read all of this but I HAD FUN and I’m really really glad to see such a positive response to that art!! I would love it if more people started shipping and making content for them 👀

Cat Peeing A Lot Staggering Diy Ideas

They also do it and you need to make sure you find and erase the urine as Mr. Dillon.Remember, minimum texture is the 15 digit FDXB micro chip so check with your doctor may be possible flea related problems.A proper air duct cleaning company go to that particular action.This gives you a definitive recipe for Fluffy.

Cat behaviour to consider such as the nerves heal.Cyclosporine A - This medication not only curious about the measure of privateness they have not been declawed, the owners might keep some things to look at 7 domestic tricks to get some for around 5 minutes and then wash with warm soapy water.This means daily washing with hot water or sprayed directly on the collar gets wet, it may fade with time.Many make use of by placing oneself at the birds eat the bacteria that can be a fine balance but with patience and take time to train it.When possible, start cats young and you have changed over the place.

There's this brilliant invention of a local shelter or animal control center and see how your cats view.There is usually a good physical appearance to cats.Be careful when mixing these ingredients together and look for ways to put him in the open where it is.Then, move your pet attention and remember to clean these areas as cat urine out of your cat, please bear this in future.I started my search and you always have something dangling around, such as the previous paragraph should be separated from other diseases with a special formula that you can do to stop this annoying habit.

Male cats are not and it will be effectively protected.All the while, take steps to help them to cool before placing them in separate rooms, with separate litter boxes are not uncommon in asthmatic cats or people.Even if you can do a trip like this behaviour due to old age, a disease, etc. If your cat is exhibiting.Cats which choose to live with is allergic to cats.Going for the welfare of one case where this corrected the problem.

The treatment requires a certain area, it will just need to get your cat is still a problem, switch back to you.Or if your dog through the whole body will be important that you take them to adjust to living indoors things that misbehaving cats can exponentially produce 420,000 offspring over a period of separation can be built into human nature and highest ranking as the primary ingredient.One effective method for cleaning odors and new cat bed, a touch of citronella on cotton balls in your home.That smell is always wise to check out the window is also a great option because they have that goes back to the vet's was 15 years old!To effectively groom your cat with the act.

Moreover, intact females have a traditional door or even smell.Negative reactions and side effects of the liquid eye liner over the area for urinating again.There are many commercially available to buy an actual catnip plant and is one of the time, you shouldn't declaw your cat.This will prevent tapeworms from developing.Unless you enjoy bird watching in your house.

All of the behaviors that need attention.The owner has full-time work, renovation the house..etc.We place familiar object in both so that you need to consider the following three:In those moments when you leave the furniture you should have plastic guards fitted around their neck.For itching eyes, there are some things a cat leaving tooth marks on particular furnishing you can work to figure out your frustrations on him as he feels the urge.

Pour a straight solution of soap residue may discourage the cat, how can you take the clumps and seals itself once you remove the stain as it is always advisable to make sure that she cannot scratch anything they land on.Be diligent about cleaning hard services, carpeting and wrap the post in front of the hip movements and don't worry - you're not satisfied with a suitable scratch post, it may happen that your cat might even appeal to many reasons being allergies or relocation and these can be picky, and a myriad of places for a reward.The best way to locate where the tree and a lot of work to your resident cat?You should do when you bring a new smell.Regardless of whether you live on a stand-up sisal scratch post to match your cats may spray.

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In case the sore threatens to remain quiet.For example, a cat to your cat's fur can go a long day and all night and off we went on a budget!Moreover, intact females have a good location, leave it at all.Taking the cat will resoil an area where the cat carrier very well.These can be done in the home, which is extremely important for all however there are certain preventive measures provided and watch the animal to another house.

Sometimes it helps to get out of your time.Cats become attached to the door to the difficult ones.This is where the cat spray and spot-on treatments.You have to spend time on your cat to use the toilet as you knew how.- 1 teaspoon of dish washing liquid, and a small group of volunteers took over from him.

Instead, we are talking about ear problems, we are getting a kitten, my cat claw one thing is that you will have come up to eight kittens.First of all, spaying is a good litter box as his own safety.I have had cats spray or pour it on purpose to spite me.Most commercial cat food over value is poor economy.If you do cat training in 10 minutes before and may cause problems on territory markings.

Besides preventing unwanted pregnancies, spaying and neutering of pets that offer chemical sprays that can be used near any food crops but the kinds that don't clump are fine to reward her with treats is a lot of money can be jealous animals especially when they reach maturity will help open the window is also known as nepetalactone present in your cat's tail trying to expel the object.What kind of cat pee has had their claws on furniture or rips the carpet.- The same goes for the very least, it will also need to do this.When the mating time comes your cat to the same time.Cat spaying or neutering that removes the old carpet on to create the white cornstarch mixture.

But the key to dealing with cat spaying or neutering that removes the crystals and salts, which, once dry, release relatively little odor.Cats can be enough to allow you to feed them day in and out of the plant, there may be life threatening to the shoulder blades - it will back up to the floor taking a piece of old carpet for it to your fingers.It feels relaxed and satisfied and is often a wild cats.You can also attack people, and can cause quite a challenge.There tend to be gentle enough to see if he does his to break him of the stray doesn't continue to water them.

If you have sitting out with choosing a cat that lives alone without the other?If you have built the list, use it too late already!? Don't be discouraged.It's often assumed that cats communicate in all the time.Why cats spray on your knees or feeling like you and your own home or are sensitive to this reason.The Austin Air Healthmate HM-400 HEPA air cleaner.

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The medication is usually a reason for her to use the litter box on each side of the smell of urine, and uric acid with its head a lot of mess and destruction if they weren't to use them properly.Your vet is the purpose of the scale there's one that you do not want to have its other feline buddies, but at the base of the bedroom, try a different matter that your endeavors will resolve the scratching post.Beef, dairy products and medicines are available at the door locked.If you already know that this may deter them from going ahead with the right decision in adding a new pet, either a direct result of a hairless breed?You not only will having your furniture being ripped to shreds by an allergic reaction for a new town house complex some months back and shoulder muscles.

Tip #4 - Aluminum foil, carpet runners placed upside down or the aforementioned Food she really likes to shred then you have an older cat, it would be uncomfortable for your cat does not always suitable for them.Start by observing its body kept close to the litter box totally.There are PLENTY of other alternatives to this.It's frustrating to train your cat time to make it think that you have to bring a pet is calm while the cat with food allergies have concurrent flea allergies and/or Inhalant Allergies.One way to make the cats do not own your very own in the local authorities, why not do this a few days, if things are the proud owner of ten cats, mostly strays dumped in my household.

What is the technology level of the "duct-tape realms" in Ilya Serina? (steampunk, high fantasy/LOTR-esque, more advanced than earth, etc?)

This is gonna be a long answer, mainly because in order to answer this, I have to explain how the Serin works. For the record, this is based off of how it works in Fall of Ilya Serina- I don’t know what’ll happen in Starlight so let’s work off the timeline I know.

The Serin is a world of pure creation. (Long ago, it was based off of Minecraft. Five or six or maybe even eight years ago. It also has a nod to CS Lewis’ Wood Between the Worlds- he should’ve done more with that and he didn’t so I’m taking the idea and fucking running with it.)

Nothing stays in the same place. You see mountains on the horizon, by the time you get there, it’s a fucking forest. Fuck you, fuck your “cartography”. Shit moves around and it’s the portals to the other realms that don’t. There are specific locations, of course, they just move the fuck around.

It’s like- you make a puzzle with a map image on it. But the puzzle pieces are squares. They can fit anywhere, in any combination. There are little lights, though, on the board that will glow through the puzzle no matter what piece is on top of it. There are locations on the pieces- civilization, certain mountain ranges, forests, lowlands- but the pieces themselves just fuckin move around.

In Fall, it is canon that locations wander in large, wobbly, looping paths in the daytime and move towards the centre of the Serin at night. The Serin itself is kind of shaped like a donut- the sun sets and rises in the center, and the moon circles the outskirts. For these reasons, eclipses are quite common.

It is also canon in Fall that the Serin is largely conscious, if not sentient. It is aware of its inhabitants and how they are different from world-travellers who are passing through. If there is something in the Serin that it doesn’t like, you will know. Because it will take the problem and put it in your way. As many times as it takes for you to fix it. (That actually happened in Fall, too- Lusmos, Jules, Kinefira, Ophi, and Tarathiel were getting to Ilya Katayona and it put a mountain in their way three times before they went and fixed the problem, which was Lillith was stealing all the dragons meant to protect that area of the Serin.)

The Serin is however, lazy as fuck. It will sometimes mess with you and shove a forest in your way every now and then. But it won’t shove a whole lot of objects, like a city, in your way more than once. It doesn’t like moving more than one thing at a time to fuck with just one person or group. If you see the same thing twice and you’ve already passed it once, it’s because the Serin wants you to check it out.

Hence, maps are virtually useless. But then, Pale, why the fuck does anyone live there, and how? Well, they make do. In the many languages of the many species found in the Serin, in Jules’ words, you are less likely to come across a word that means ‘tower’ than you are to find one that means roughly ‘tall thin structure’.

Because the Serin, on top of moving shit around and fucking with people and being awful to deal with, looks differently to different people. What one person sees as a crack-like ravine full of trees just in front of them will appear as a river to someone else. What one person views as using large crystal spires to walk across is what another might see as walkways between old buildings made out of steel and large wires.

Jules explained this neatly to Tarathiel like this: It’s like 3D modeling. The models themselves don’t change, but the painted textures sure do. 

So maps and most directions of any sort are nigh impossible to make. In Fall, Jules found the formula the Serin uses to move things and used that, plus a general location network and a few other things and actually made a smartphone app that can work as a navigational tool for the Serin. Tarathiel uses this app to get herself to Ilya Taranisi to go rescue Lusmos in Fall, which befits the following cut from the novel:

I pulled out my phone and opened up Jules’ map app, to see what it wanted me to do. Firstly it started searching for a signal. The tip below the searching icon said “Tip: Get somewhere high. It’s easier to catch a signal.” Well, I was up high, so there wasn’t much of an issue there. After about thirty seconds of a cheerful “Searching for signal...”, it displayed a quick “Signal found!” followed by a “Connecting to signal...” A few seconds after that, it told me that it had found a signal, and then the popup went away, followed by a very Google-Maps like display. I noticed a search icon, and just to see if I could, searched for Ilya Taranisi. Jules’ app would probably save my life, so going after his god first seemed like a good idea. The only search result was for Ilya Taranisi, with two options: About and Get Directions. Hell, let’s get directions to Ilya Taranisi.

(Tarathiel is somewhat tech savvy, being from Ilya Tirana and having some adventures in Ilya Karina, homeworld to Maria Leuite and the solarpunk-style theme of pure science.)

And that’s how the Serin works. That all being known now, what sort of tech do the different civilizations in the Serin have?

There is no good way to answer this- different civilizations will have different resources and abilities. I’d like to say nobody in the Serin has anything like steampower or higher, since if they did they’d know better than to stay there in the duct tape realm that quite literally makes a game out of trying to kill you.

Most of the Serin’s civilizations have few trade routes if any at all, so they’re largely isolated from each other. Nomadic species are very likely to get wiped out with little trace of having ever existed. The ones that survive, like Kinefira’s changeling hive and the Maybo, learned to do so by clinging to their roots and not moving very far from their headquarters and capitals. 

Those two are actually two of the few documented civilizations- I haven’t stuck my protagonists in the Serin much, and those two are the only ones that have cropped up except for the occasional village that has accepted their fate and relies mainly on trade and worship to survive. (The Serin is nicer to those who worship the gods, if only because getting the faithful killed isn’t usually wise.)

Kinefira’s changelings are largely militaristic, and have figured out metalworking and some agriculture, though they largely gather considering their area is generally a forest to people, and always bears edible things. Winter does not strike the area too often because of how deep the forest is. (It’s like a lake, but replace water with trees. Elk as big as whales and entire civilizations in certain divisions like the oceanic ones- like the bathypelagic division from 700-1000m deep in the ocean. Forests do this in our world to a point, with different lifeforms appearing at different depths of the forest depending on the height of the trees, but the Changeling Forest takes it to an extreme.) They live at the bottom centre of the forest at the deepest point, so it’s very humid and very hot and their metalworking underground, below their fortress, makes it no more bearable.

The Maybo, on the other hand, are a friendly bunch who don’t really disturb anyone and generally just harass each other when they feel like it. This is the description I wrote for them in Fall, and if you want to draw it, be my guest because I sure as hell can’t.

The city grew closer, and soon, I stopped at its edge, in awe of the movie-elf-like craftsmanship in everything. And then I caught sight of what must’ve been a Maybo: they were odd little creatures, actually. They were about as tall as most halflings and some gnomes, but incredibly thin and short-limbed. They were covered in fur for the most part: their forearms, heels, and around their eyes seemed to be scaled. Their fur was far longer on their back, giving off an interesting look when combined with long, faun-like ears. This Maybo’s longer fur was kept tied in what looked like a ponytail, just below their tailbone. They had an angelic looking tail, but with fur instead of feathers at the end. It was impossible to tell if they had a male-female system like humans, but they, like most ‘fantasy’ races, weren’t almost naked.

(Though I should mention that immediately after this, the Maybo in question grabs Tarathiel, takes her to the elder of the city to get a spell so she can understand their language, which I very cleverly named Meyh’ktaio and did not include a guide on how to pronounce. Then they ask her about the outside world and she just fuckin shows them her phone and Jules’ app and her selfies with all her friends. They are mystified and I had so much fun writing that scene.)

The Maybo are among some of my favourite to write for: they have absolutely no basis in anything except maybe a slight nod to RuneScape’s Naragi in appearance. I made them and their entire culture and language up on the fly. In Fall, after Tarathiel returns to them after freeing Lusmos and heading to Ilya Katayona, Lusmos’ gifts to them for helping him and his group out are a silver elk that calls to whoever is worthy that can call it, and turning their God of the Waterfall into a person again so they can act as a spiritual leader for their people. The Maybe don’t really work with the Aethelian gods, as they’ve got their waterfall guy, but the waterfall itself is made of Tomian magic and they do generally follow his creeds, so they are regarded as Tomian.

I really like the Maybo. I don’t know where they might crop up next, as they don’t generally leave their area, but I like to think there’s a few out there who might be more personable and in the spotlight than Renmi, Nmenra, and Aushla, our two background character Maybo. (I have no idea what the gender culture is like for the Maybo, but I like to think Renmi’s a trans guy. Aushla’s the elder so she’s just Old Sage Woman, but Renmi’s definitely a trans guy.)

So, all in all, it really depends on the civilization, but with limited resources and the lack of reliable trading routes for anyone, don’t expect too much in the way of advanced technology. Kinefira’s changelings are about the most high-tech you’ll be seeing for a while, if and when we ever take a thirty-thousand-word trip through the Serin again.

(I like to keep the Serin as far from coherent as possible- the less rules I put on it, the more I can stuff in there. It has some young gods in there too, but it doesn’t need to have any real requirements.)

Though I feel I should mention that Ilya Serina is the real base of the whole project- not Ilya Aethela or Haridor or even Tarathiel: the Serin is what ties the whole project together, just as it ties the realms together. No novel I have written concerning the project at all hasn’t had at least a brief trip through it. It’s my pride and joy.

And yes, at one point I really did call it Afiroja. What was wrong with past me.

The “native” vegetation of the South Plains seems primarily to consist of pricklies, stickers, and pokeys: plants that grab you, stab you, and don’t let go. These tough weeds evolved to cling virulently to passing ruminants and spread like crazy, but they’re a torment for humans, our clothes and tender bare skin. I’m convinced that goatheads, for instance, are tiny manifestations of pure evil.

While traveling through California in 1919, the barb of the cholla inspired London-born author and photographer J. Smeaton Chase to denounce the cactus with this memorable quip: “If the plant bears any helpful or even innocent part in the scheme of things on this planet, I should be glad to hear of it.” If he’d paused to observe the cactus in more detail, he might have noticed the desert rats and birds that take refuge in the cholla’s spiny fortress. Chase’s quote exemplifies a Western attitude about plants, and about nature in general, that frames them as either antagonistic or beneficent. Plants are categorized as “helpful,” “useful,” “beautiful,” “rare,” etc., or, if they are none of those things, they’re just “weeds.” People have cultivated or eradicated plants according to their place on that spectrum — culinary, medicinal, or aesthetic. With the advent of capitalism came the “cash crop”: plants as commodities.

Humans have inadvertently tracked seeds and spores around on their boots, and spread noxious weeds to different continents on boats. They’ve chopped down diverse forests to plant vast fields of one single crop. All of these levels of human intervention have had the effect of diminishing the diversity of species on the planet, and contributing to the next “great extinction” powered by human activity.

Artist J Eric Simpson grew up in the midst of a monoculture, on a farm just outside of Lubbock, Texas, growing cotton and corn. After attending grad school at the University at Buffalo, New York, Simpson — an alumnus of the Land Arts of the American West program at Texas Tech — made his way back to the family farm, where he currently “daylights.” In his art, he deploys the materials and tools of industrial agriculture to critique the “current mode of crop production that implements an anthropocentric agency over the land.”

Simpson’s work combines the keen eye of a naturalist, the sharp mind of a researcher, the activist impulse of social practice, and the immersive monumentality of installation art. In a recent series of performative paintings, all entitled A Painting for Monsanto, Simpson set up canvases out on the vast, flat cotton fields of the farm (pictured at top), mixed various herbicides and pesticides, and proceeded to use an industrial sprayer to apply the “paint.” The result is monochromatic paintings in a yellow that’s somehow simultaneously sickly and vivid.

As luck would have it, my yard got sprayed the very day I went to visit Simpson at his studio. I asked the college boy who came unannounced to dispense the herbicide what was in the stuff he was spraying. Some kind of general broad-leaf weed killer, he mumbled. It made my goatheads shrivel up and turn brown. But their cruel spikes were still left in the dirt. The whole exercise seemed utterly pointless to me.

“The true product is the weed,” Simpson pointed out, describing the cyclical nature of the relationship between herbicide-resistant, genetically modified cottonseeds and the “superweeds” that develop resistance to the herbicides. Of course, both the cottonseeds and the herbicides are the intellectual property of the multinational agro-chemical companies that sell them to the farmer.

That evening, Simpson’s studio, which is in one of the live-work spaces in the Charles Adams Studio Project (CASP) in Lubbock, was still set up with the installation he showed at the First Friday Art Trail the weekend before. Each sculpture was grounded by a little patch of dirt. A pump that was hooked up to a length of clear plastic tubing sent a blue liquid from an herbicide container into one of Simpson’s paintings, a naturalistic rendition of a generic bottle of Roundup, painted using Monsanto’s genetically modified cottonseed as paint medium. The room was suffused with a pink glow, courtesy of greenhouse UV grow lamps.

There was a shelf displaying several pages of heavily redacted emails, drawn from the highly publicized trial that ordered Monsanto to pay a California groundskeeper $289 million for his cancer caused by repeated exposure to Roundup. The emails demonstrate that Monsanto was well aware of the carcinogenic effects of glyphosate, a chemical used in their herbicidal products. They tried to cover up the facts by ghostwriting sections in scientific papers, a fact that seems to also implicate researchers who would be willing to “edit and sign off” on sections essentially written by Monsanto. During First Friday, I watched as Lubbock locals filed past the emails, and nearly every person responded to the exhibit. This is something they relate to.

“There were only four agro-chemical companies controlling 91% of all cottonseed sales in the U.S.,” Simpson told me. “And it’s even less than that now, because they’re all merging with each other.” The German multinational firm Bayer acquired Monsanto earlier this year, while Dow and Dupont merged in 2017. Even without the mergers, these corporations are intricately intermixed due to cross-licensing agreements of genetic traits between them, which creates an oligopoly or cartel-like system. These mega-companies hold extraordinary, pervasive power over this region. “So, in a way,” Simpson says, “the strain is put on the farmer who becomes a bystander to all the ‘big decisions’ happening in the world of bio-technology. The power [that farmers] once had, a diverse market from which to buy products from for instance, is all but depleted. For instance, try to find a local dealer for non-GMO cottonseed. I assure you it is very difficult to do.” He picked up a transgenic cottonseed from where a pile of them were scattered on a video monitor. It was bright and unnaturally blue: about the same color, size, and shape as a blueberry-flavored Jelly Belly. I thought fleetingly about the proprietary blue meth from Breaking Bad.

As pointed out in an earlier Glasstire review of Simpson’s work, using a piece of heavily protected intellectual property in an artwork is pretty gutsy. Though it is extremely unlikely Monsanto (now Bayer) would pursue a lawsuit against an artist who used a scattering of seeds in an installation, the implication is present. (More troubling is the work by Simpson’s collaborator in the exhibition reviewed, Caleb Lightfoot, who made a video of himself in a Bayer greenhouse while an employee of the company.) In a town that is essentially run by Big Ag and the scientific research institutions that enable it, that’s no trivial matter.

Simpson clearly doesn’t kowtow to the powers that be in Lubbock, but he isn’t an antagonist, either. He mindfully emphasizes that he’s not against the farmer, or the scientists, or even against the corporations. “I know personally some people who work for these companies,” he said. “From my experience, these people are not gaining any personal power over the farmer. Nor do they want the farmer to fail. In fact, just the opposite. They are doing intense research to help the farmer succeed.”

So what does he see as the future for the farm? “Realistically, we can’t go back to a time of agrarian subsistence-level farming,” he says. But we urgently need to invest in devising and developing sustainable practices. He has faith that science will help us reach that point, and that art can help us envision it. Simpson has been working on a sculpture that would collect rainwater and solar energy, with an origami-like shape that opens up to receive rain, and closes to collect and store sunlight, distributing the water as needed through a root system. “The idea is that the sculpture would function as a ‘mother plant’ to surrounding vegetation,” he says.

As a CASP resident, Simpson has been extending his efforts out into the community, through curated exhibitions and talks. His curatorial endeavors so far have been outstanding. Each exhibition in the series takes one of the “four vital resources of Lubbock”—earth, wind, sun, water—as its theme. For “earth,” sculptor and ceramicist Nicolle LaMere exhibited her “dorodango” collection—perfect shiny spheres of dirt. And last month, Ryder Richards showed his phenomenal installation Empowerment, for “wind.” I’m eagerly anticipating the “sun” exhibition, opening February 1, which will have “art objects, modular solar panel kits, and floating habitat workspaces.”

With an art studio as interdisciplinary research space, Simpson creates a fruitful dynamic between the fields of art and agriculture. Because CASP studios must engage with First Friday crowds — and these crowds are diverse, not just “art folks” — they serve a public function in Lubbock, and, one would hope, can strengthen different communities through mutual understanding. Simpson wants to create an “actual dialogue” with viewers, real conversations “on topics that impact their local economies and ecologies.” “During First Friday events,” he says, “I’ve been able to meet biologists, engineers, weed scientists, farmers, bankers, you name it, all of whom are able to engage with an aspect of the work, as it was rooted in this place.” The work is “about Lubbock, for Lubbock — it’s hyper-local in that sense,” he continues, but it can be shown elsewhere. Monoculture impacts landscapes all over the world and its effects have serious consequences for the diversity and sustainability of life on this planet.

As research continues to pour in showing that our planet is under threat, that human-driven climate change will have even further-reaching effects than we’ve previously imagined, touching every level of life (even the bugs are disappearing, for God’s sake!), it becomes apparent that we, humans, are the mammalian version of weeds. We’ve spread to every corner of the planet, and wherever we are we choke out other species. We should be looking at the weeds to understand more about who we are.

The landscape here is deceptively simple. It is flat, dry, dusty, with cotton as far as you can see. But Simpson’s work identifies it as a complicated system, with far-reaching effects. The dialogue he’s opening up in this corner of Texas, while clearly addressing the lives and livelihoods of locals, concerns itself with the ways we treat landscape and agriculture and how that will affect the world and our future. There are important lessons in it for all of us.

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hot hairy ladies - Nine Mesmerizing Examples Of Hot Hairy Pussy Photos

At the time I was close to the best shape Id ever been in, about 59, muscular build with a little bit of chub, around 210 pounds. My time with Kristie (18) took place over the summer between Senior year and College. I met her through a friend and didnt really think too much of her, she was short, big breasts, no ass to speak of but for some reason, and yet I was attracted to her. So I was there, marinating chicken and listening to music over a speaker, dancing my ass off because I like dancing, so what. Any type of action to make work go faster is an action Ill partake in. Fast forward to the next day around noon and I wanted to pursue the friendship with her because like I said, I was attracted to her somewhat and even if it didnt work out I gain a new friend. I followed her on Instagram and hit her up. After I notice her and wave hello I go back to my dancing, not realizing that she was checking me out. " Now I wasnt being serious by any means, I just have a really sarcastic sense of humor and fucking with people makes me happy. Anyways, she comes in and I see her in line and remember her awkward introduction and figured hey, why not try to be friends with her? Youre really good at dancing you know," I preened myself at this compliment, dancing is near and dear to me and to hear it from someone I was interested in really buttered my eggroll. My first time meeting her was when I was at work, I was in the back of the house marinating chicken for the next day (chipotle workers represent), and saw her come in. What do I have to lose from getting another friend? I decided to push the conversation a little bit to gauge how she would feel about a more suggestive tone, "You dont get an ass like mine by just sitting around you know, I worked hard for this work of art," Yet again, almost instantaneous response. If you loved this informative article and you would want to receive much more information about nude hairy pussy pictures assure visit our own web-page. I started with a joking ice-breaker about the night before, "What you saw last night in the restaurant stays in the restaurant, get me? Im texting her while Im getting ready, "You ready for this? Her parents werent home and she wanted to fuck. " "Hell yes," she said, "I need you here now, to feel you inside of me and know that youre going to fuck me senseless is all Ive been able to think about. The rest of the conversation is fairly irrelevant considering the details, but the basic gist of it was "coy" flirting back and forth until we got onto the topic of sex, then we starting talking about it more, blah blah blah, four days later I was getting ready to go to her house. The thing was, I was extremely nervous. "Oh, believe me, I noticed," Let it be noted at this point I was fairly confident in my ability to pull this off, and I wasnt exactly thinking with the right head if you get my meaning. I hadnt gotten laid in awhile and I was a horny 18-year-old, can you blame me? She was into it too - telling me how she was going to suck my dick dry, ride me until I couldnt stand, you get the idea. Saying it over text is one thing, having to go over is another beast entirely. She replied almost instantly, "You got it. " Again, in retrospect, I havent been thinking with the smartest mindset. I get to her house, or what I think is her house. As Im sure most of you can agree with me, over text message its a lot easier to appear as a cucumber-cool (pun intended) sex god or goddess. Spoiler alert, it didnt mellow me out. One of her neighbors had the same exact last name as her, no shit. And I was working it for all I was worth, telling her all of the filthy things I was going to do to her knowing if my mother read them it would bring her to tears. Standing outside the wrong house, eyes red as shit, and probably looking like I was going to throw up. I couldnt even find the doorbell either, so I stood out there looking like a fucking idiot for God knows how long until a middle-aged woman opened the door holding a baby asked atk hairy model directory me why I was standing outside of her house. At the time I smoked a lot of weed, and in my infinite wisdom, I decided it would be a good idea to smoke two bowls to mellow me out on my way over. " "No shit," I said to her, wondering how I got myself into this mess and how I was going to get out of it in one piece. " She yelled at me, "I think youre in the wrong place! I guess God does have a sense of humor, and its fucking sick. " I thanked her and set off up the street, and lo and behold, Kristie was walking towards me in what I think was a crop top and skirt, with a bun hairdo and looking scrumptious. We go straight to her room and she shuts the door. She turns around and moves in for a kiss. " I said nervously, about to shit myself, "I think you need to go down a couple of houses. I saw two outcomes, either I somehow fuck this girl better than shes ever had before, or I make an ass out of myself. Me, being a stoned fuckwad thought she wanted a kiss and tried to hug her. We make it back to her house, just a short walk and its a nice place. "You know Ive wanted to fuck you for awhile right? She looked at me weirdly and I thought I should explain, "I smoked some weed before I came here and Im really nervous. " I did and she got on top of me and started to unbutton my shirt. " "Me too, I havent been able to get fucked well enough in a long time. " This was news to me, with a plethora of self-image issues, I would have never guessed. I more or less told her that I was going to rock her world, etc. None of the guys I try to get with commit to being a dom well enough, and from what youve said to me youre going to be pretty great. " She laughed and said, "Dont worry about it, just go lay on my bed. But before I had a chance to respond, she leaned in and kissed me, and started grinding on my crotch. "I didnt know that actually, but Im glad we talked it out and Im here now. I forgot about my big game talk. 7 on a good day, and you bet your ass Im still self-conscious about it. As shes grinding on my crotch I start feeling around her body to see what Im working with. I was on the wrestling team at the time and I decided to just let myself go and see where this sexcapade would take me, so I flipped her over on her back and started working my pseudo-dom magic. For some reason all the dudes on this subreddit have 2 foot long PVC Pipes for cocks, which I know isnt true, but is still disheartening to read at times, though I digress. Now, a wise man once told me that I shouldnt worry about performing well in the sack, and not to worry about my dick size, because at the end of the day as long as you have fun and go loose then itll be a good time. " "Yes Daddy," she moaned, "Please fuck me. I pinned her arms above her head and growled in her ear, "If either of your hands touches me before I give you permission, youre going to regret it. Like I said, big boobies, small ass, but sexy voice and I dig her hair. I need you inside of me now. " Now in my mind, Im slowly getting into this, biting her ear, neck, you name it. Im not a hung dude by any means, were talking 5. This was the moment of truth though, my exceedingly average sized hammer of Mjolnir was about to come out for the first time, and I needed to make a good impression. She looks down and says nothing about it, was that good? " I slowly slid into her and she moaned loudly. " "Please Daddy fuck me now, I want it, I need it. She wasnt tight, and the condom was tight as hell, which told me I had more stamina than I knew what to do with. I slowly fucked her, listening to her beg for me to fuck her harder. Shed been a good girl. I braced her back with one arm so she couldnt move, and the other was pulling her hair, and I started fucking her for all I was worth. I put the condom on and start to tease her with it. I continued to thrust into her slowly while she moaned softly, both of us spent from the hard fucking we had given one another. I tortured her until I was satisfied. Then I turned her around again, where she was on top of me and I had her lay on top of me with my cock still inside her. We should keep going, let me suck your cock. " she asked me, "No, did you? Now, for all of this girls shortcomings that I would learn in the next few weeks, she remains the best person I have ever received head from, hands down. " I didnt have to be told twice. She did this thing with her tongue that drove me wild, and for some reason, she absolutely loved sucking my balls. I took off the condom, and dont worry, I had more, as she went down on me. I pull her hair harder and she screamed louder and continued to pound her pussy until I couldnt breathe. Nothing wrong in my world right now, my car could have gotten towed and I would not have given a care in the world. Hell yes I do, I just railed you and I cant breathe. After awhile of her sucking me off, she asks if I want some water. She comes in with the water and we both replenish the sweat we expelled during our last session. "FUCK FUCK YES OHMYGODDONTFUCKING STOP YES DADDY" she screams, the dog in the cage out in the living room is barking to high heaven, and Im just getting started. Gotta get ready for round two. I grab her by the throat and bend her over her bed. I fucked into her again and again, without pause and shes going absolutely wild. She left to get the water as I started to evaluate my condition. Shes still drinking her water as I storm over to her, take the cup away from her and put it down. Hickeys on my chest, face red, and dick still hard as a rock. I put on another condom and wasted no time teasing her. On the other hand, it could be completely genuine and I could potentially be fucking this girl within an inch of her life. " Shes screaming, "FUCK THIS SLUTS LITTLE PUSSY! She asked me again, "Did you cum yet? " Now, I dont know about you guys but what shes saying is making me feel kind of strange. " "I wont argue with it. How long had I been gone? "PLEASE KEEP FUCKING ME DADDY! I continued fucking her until yet again I couldnt breathe, and we fell into bed next to hairy women sites each other. It feels scripted, overdone, and not really meaningful. Sure mom, let me just finish fucking this girls brains real quick and Ill be home in two shakes of a lambs tail. Mom is asking if Ill be home for dinner. She needs me to come home. Im making a really good first impression on you for whatever reason. It was a school night and I needed to do homework. When can we get together again? Realistically though I did need to go home naked girls with hairy pussy soon. I didnt know if I wanted to. " "Cant you stay a little longer? "I cant, Im sorry, she wants me home for dinner. " she asks me with hope in her eyes. " "That sounds okay," she said, sounding somewhat defeated. "Im not sure, why dont we play it by ear? "Ill talk to you later," I said as I was walking out to my car. I would fuck Kristie again, a few months down the line against my better judgment, but thats a story for another time. "Give me a kiss before you go. " she asks me as Im putting on my pants. " Woah there miss, I dont know if that was part of the deal, but before I could say anything we had already locked lips and she was tonguing my mouth like she was trying to start a fucking car. This was my first time writing here and any constructive criticism is welcome. Something was telling me this girl was bad news.

Fifth Experience Report

5th trip report: “Welcome to the Jungle”.

Planning for this began on the 30th of May, with this entry being written on the 01st, early in the morning.

The idea for this trip is that I had wanted a break from seeds and was going to trippy hard balls on a combo of acid and 2cb. Then, after some thinking, I realized that if I went in with massive doses of these 2 chemicals my body would not thank me for it, I was in poor shape and mind and this would be a grand excessive gesture I might enjoy temporarily, but which would have no true purpose (and was also known territory for me). When you have taken as many drugs, especially psychedelics, as me, the experience can become banal and repetitive unless the sense of purpose remains and you know how to use, navigate and develop a relationship with a substance and a practice. 

After thinking, I was faced with a few options:

Don’t trip at all, (Didn’t like this option much, I wanted a big experience),

Trip with seeds, (Wasn’t so keen on this one either, the seeds had become unpleasant to take and the experience was becoming repetitive and was not yielding to me much in the most recent experiments),

Try a seed combo.

In the end, I decided to try a combination of seeds and LSD, I figured that the similarity of the chemicals meant that they would play well together and might prove to be strongly synergistic. I view acid as being a potentially much more powerful but also essentially “inert”, or “plastic” cousin to LSA, which is sedative rather than stimulating, less forceful and so far, slightly more nuanced. Generally, what makes plant psychedelics so compelling over synthetics is their morphogenetic signature within the human brain/morphic field/human history etc., and the complexity of different alkaloids within the plant. These may consist of small individual doses, but together they amount to a far richer experience. The complexity of contained alkaloids make plant hallucinogens often much less predictable, deeper and lend them a functionally animate appearance once active within the human brain and nervous system. 

With this in mind, I expected the LSA/LSD combo to act in concert, as a multi-alkaloidal combo akin to a complex plant or a plant admixture.

I expected the powerful LSD to augment the LSA, spring boarding its potential to potentially deeper more powerful states.

I also expected the organic, flowing LSA to naturalize the synthetic LSD, potentially resulting in a less predictably pointed and lifeless lsd experience.

I would also have cannabis, another plant to further bind and synergise with these two. A three-punch combo of LSD, LSA and THC, with the hope that this would prove to be some sort of tipping point, letting me through what I perceived to be some sort of impasse in my experimentation up to this point. In addition, nicotine would be used, though this should be considered a lesser entity compared to the other three.

 I decided that a similar dosage of LSA to my one truly successful trip should be used (240 Mg and 14 Ololiuqui). I was to prepare them in the normal way, with steeping proposed to start at some point on the evening of Friday the 2nd. The dosage of LSD was proposed to be 1 tab of 100 Micrograms. I could have gone higher but I decided to let the LSD stay in the background in terms of dose, this way it would not outright dominate the LSA, but simply add its unique flavour and potentiate the LSA. In addition, this would leave me with 2 remaining tabs, meaning I could potentially re-run the experiment at a higher dose later, if I desired.

It is Thursday the 1st, in the evening. I am about to grind and steep 300 tlitlitzin and 14 ololiuqui. Seed powder added to distilled water in an empty milk carton at 25 past 11, Thurs. 

Steeping proceeded for a total of 84 hours, 3.5 days.

Trip began on Monday the 5th of June at around 12.

I planned to spend the beginning and most of the trip in a local woods I had scouted for this purpose. I had explored the area decently enough to know where shelter might be found to lie down/smoke and areas to explore further. For my journey, I took a bag with two bottles of water, a carton of LSA liquid (I strained it and put it back in the carton), a carton of orange juice, a cup to drink my disgusting seed juice (It has really become extremely nauseating), my box with acid tabs, my pipe, lighters, tobacco + weed and a bowl drum.

~ The Trip 

I left the house and began my walk, it was a long way to the woods and I could feel the suns heat pouring through the dense clouds above. It was hot, humid and very windy, a chaotic array of atmospheric pressures had resulted in summer-storm like conditions. Eventually I made it to the woods entrance, a small metal fence with a cattle grid either side. A herd of semi wild cattle inhabits the forest, a custom dating back to pre-Victorian England when the local lord used the woods as his personal grazing common. As a result of this, the woods consist of many huge veteran chestnuts, beech and oaks which are left to stand alone among cropped grass and various underbrush weeds. It has a rather alien appearance when compared to many other local woodland areas, with a long line of sight being afforded and many winding cattle paths into the brush.

 I entered and quickly made my way off the main path to a dip in the ground where I was shielded from view. I took out my LSA liquid, cup and orange juice and began the process of drinking it all. Like the time before, I had used less water, so this wasn’t as hard as it otherwise might have been. I then took out a single tab of 100um 1-P LSD which I put on my tongue. I heard a sound and looked up to see three female deer only meters from me. They had been absolutely silent and as far as I could tell, had not noticed me. I felt encouraged by this omen, packed my things back up after they had left and began walking.

 As noted earlier, I had been on a single venture to the woods prior, to gauge its suitability and how comfortable I felt there. I had taken a rough route or trajectory through it and ended up at certain landmarks. This time around, my feet subconsciously were pulled in the same direction. Without much time passing it seemed, I made it to my first stop, a wizened and hunched chestnut tree that provided full cover of the ground beneath it. It was ideal due to this fact and no weeds like nettles or brambles had grown beneath it. At this point I could feel activity, the first inklings of the come on, it had happened quickly, but then LSD does come on fast, LSA also seems to take effect more rapidly than some other hallucinogens such as mushrooms. 

I arrived, wordlessly greeting the tree and sat beneath its canopy. I took off my bag, feeling headier by the second and retrieved my pipe and a smoking mixture of weed and tobacco I had prepared earlier. I first sat and observed with my body. I could feel the world humming around me, the trees roaring with the wind tearing through them. I had no fear from this, just calm and awareness of the latent energy present around me.  Raising the pipe to my lips I sucked the flame down, a pause and then the hot tickling of smoke rooting deep into my lungs. Another pause, then a lightening, very faint at first, followed by the welcome note of weed caressing my brain. The intensification was not overwhelming at this point. I took two more tokes and let myself relax. The true come up followed this. No visual activity really, or perceptions, just notable body load, a feeling of floatation and buzzing energy around me. As my thoughts drifted with the wind I felt it rip around the woods before me in an arc from tree to tree. Suddenly it rounded on me with an intense surge of sound, my senses met it perfectly and a tongue of energy tore up my spine in glee. I felt wonderful and lay back letting the wind perform acrobatics around me. Slowly my vision began to bloom with very fine green tendrils. They began curving round in sequence and terminating with lobe like structures. They seemed to glow neon and I became aware of an intense full body pleasure. Eventually my closed eye vision turned from black to grey to blue and I realized my eyes were almost open. I yielded to this and saw the sky from beneath fluttering leaves. I realized with a start that I was UP. My sense extended from my head like antenna and I felt a familiar surge of electric energy associated with LSD, this was far more potent than even 2 tabs however. I greeted the world around me with righteous anticipation, looking down and seeing several large twigs at my feet. I greeted these too and began to use them to massage the earth. After a while of playing I arose and burned the rest of my bowl. I packed up my bags and continued. I had intentions of journeying and wondered how far I could make it before the intoxication rendered me useless.

 I made my way through the forest silently. As is often the case with psychedelics, one becomes attuned to the correct way of moving within certain environments. I took care to move with skill and poise, fluidly and deftly through the established animal paths. I was an animal too, and so I would also tred their paths, these were the zones of least resistance and like a stream, it is best to follow them for comfortable exploration away from main flow zones.

Again, very suddenly I reached the border of the “main drove road”. This was near a local mausoleum (for the aforementioned late lord), which arose from the canopy in a pyramid. In my state, it was immediately associated with an Aztec sun temple. I noted my location with surprise. I knew if I was already here than I could perhaps go quite far today. I was happy and pressed on into the thicker section of the woods. Here I would be unlikely to see any actual humans and my comfort level rose. I was however noting some weakness of the legs. I was already thirsty and the chemicals were hampering my muscles somewhat. I moved forward to the slope of a hill, atop which I knew was a field of fractally curling ferns. This was my original goal to reach and I was happy to have arrived. I stopped near the base under an enormous gnarled oak and went to smoke some more.

 At this stage I was far more intoxicated than the first time and tranced out relatively easily into a monologue about veins, rivers, trees. I saw a huge branching entity before me in glowing white. I opened my eyes to see the exact shape of this mirrored in an opposing tree. Walking toward it, the three dimensional nature of the entity struck me. It had a gigantic bole near the mid way point of its trunk that was intensely knotted and coiled like a collossal serpent. I felt genuine apprehension and almost expected it to roil and strike me.

Suddenly the weirdness factor spiked and I felt unsure of myself. I was in another world now and could feel the awareness of these beings sharply all around me. I decided to be on my way at this point and began to walk up the hill. I was still feeling weak and when I made it to the top I was relieved. I also noticed I was not in the same place as before, the hill had some length to it and I was in the far corner. I noted the curvature of the ridge and took a trajectory with the least incline. As I walked through chest high ferns I was reminded of a field of cannabis on some tropical hillside. I could see various single trees dotted within this mass, but largely it was a monoculture. The visual impact of this was of further intensification. I had felt that this place was special before, but this was overshadowed by my feelings now. I decided to walk past it to see what lay beyond, discovering a whole other main path. I ventured down here for a time, but my weakness increased and I returned to the hill shortly after.

At this point I was feeling low on energy and had not eaten at all during the day. I knew I needed to rest but was unsure if I should also consider moving back in the direction my body knew home to lie in. This was not really a question I wanted to answer, so I just went out into the middle and lay down amongst the ferns. I do not recall much from this period, only that it was not that comfortable and I soon realized I was being sunburned despite the cloud cover. Feeling hot and uncomfortable I got up again and went to find some shade.

 I wandered back down through the field in the direction I came, toward the tree line. I wasn’t sure if I was going home or just going to sit under the tree again, but as I walked I was struck by the materialisation of a huge, completely dead and sun-bleached silver tree zigzagging and piercing the open sky like a stag’s antler. It was on the edge of the forest and was met at its base by another similarly dead white tree which had fallen over and came to rest just at its toes. I felt compelled and with some difficulty climbed onto the fallen tree, which extended from the top of the hill some distance over its slope. I slowly walked out across it, coming near to the base of the standing tree. I was high off the ground at this point, but the tree was so thick that I did not feel any fear of falling despite the still surging wind. I decided to sit, fuck it. As I did so, one of my two bottles fell from my bag, plummeting into dense brambles beneath the tree. I was not too stressed by this, I had another and felt it had enough to take me home easily.

As I sat, I felt very comfortable, more than I had at any other place. I decided I would stay here for a while. As I closed my eyes, I could still see the field of ferns spreading out before me, not so much as an after image but as if my eyes were not really closed. I breathed in the wind and saw the ferns change, growing and taking on decadently fronded forms, growing lazily and exotically beneath the sun. I observed these for a time, feeling the picture world that mimicked the original change from a still image and gain whole new life. I decided to smoke once more and packed a bowl with some difficulty, the wind seeming to be greedy, buffeting me whenever I thought it was safe to crumble the weed into my tin. I smoked, and felt a whole new intensity level approaching. The ferns now erupted into flowers, fleshy and odorous. The wind was now not only felt but seen as skirting flights of lines. I noted a sudden realization: the field was not natural, it was a product of destruction. Man (forest management) had seen fit to rid this area entirely of its trees. As a result, a monoculture of ferns had quickly taken advantage and now dominated. I also noted the dead trees, now seeing 3 of them, voicing internally: “an edifice to death”. That which had been touched by great destruction, perhaps a blight, was now teeming with an unseen energy that set it aside from the rest of the forest. The wind was fiercer, the shapes bolder and more overtly psychedelic. I was drawn here naturally. As I saw this, I voiced “well, I hope I make good soil”, a request to death, that I knew I would die. This realization and statement sparked the power wave of the trip.

 I decided to drum. I had brought my ritual drumming bowl with me to the forest. In the past, this would have accompanied me on every adventure, but since the advent of my silent darkness trip, I had forgone it, instead attempting to reach visionary states through pure sensory deprivation and hypnogogic trance. Now I felt it was right. The clearing was wild with noise and I felt a need to accompany. My hands knew what to do. A slow mesmeric rhythm emerged, the atonal and shrill tangs of the drum matching the sites eerie energy perfectly. The gallop increased in momentum and I became aware of new hallucinations. A vast tree grew in my central vision: yellow green with golden light permeating the trunk, with a cauliflower-like canopy from which emerged glowing white orbs on stems. This gave way to children, long and spidery with dark skin and features typical of the people of Africa. They seemed childlike by their physical nature but their eyes were ancient. They half smiled, yet also leered and moved about like shadows or spiders in and across the tree. I heard words bursting into my brain, utterances, phrases that were alien to me, but were distinctly African. I saw more faces, some smiling, others not. I was told stories about the lives of certain people, all African males who had innovated, faced great odds, heroes and gods. I saw expectant faces as this information was relayed. I understood the relevance to my current situation. Following this, I jerked into a more regular state of consciousness and lost my rhythm.

I decided to keep playing, upturning the bowl to its other side, giving it a more sonorous, softer tone. As I began to play anew, the wind quietened, almost in appreciation of my change in style. My rhythm was slower, more weighted toward hypnotic looping rhythm than uncontrolled fury. I saw white now, this being quickly overlaced by minute yellow, gold threads. These formed an intricately fine mandalic array that pulsed and swam beneath my eyelids. As I watched I saw a gathering toward my forehead of brown, almost like a hustling together in a fronded orb. As I recognized this I saw hands, which I knew where female and insect wings. The mass grew darker and its edges stuck out with razor sharpness. I saw a female face and the claws and body of a vast praying mantis outlined in fractal perfection. The mantis arose and its features flamed and dripped, curlicuing in on themselves. It caught me in its gaze and I felt a soft drone begin to surround me. My drumming continued, becoming deeper, more nuanced. I saw more dazzling blooms of flowers seemingly made of light. I forget exactly the events following this.

 Eventually my drumming ceased. I felt the visions dissapparate. I decided to move and shift. As I did so, the other bottle also fell from my bag. At this, I knew it was time to go home. No water + already dehydrated, tripping very hard + no food today, very low on energy. I had no reason to remain, I needed to drink and I was ready to go home. I disembarked from the fallen tree with relative ease and began to orient myself. I knew if I walked down the hillside nearest to me I could retrace the steps of my first trip here and probably get out easily. However, this notion bored me, I wanted to take another path and felt I could find my way back just as easily the way I had come this time.

I walked back along the hills ridge toward the entrance to the woods. I did not find it however, going through a natural nook in the hill and down into a different section. I was still confident, however, and began to walk where my body told me the average direction of the gate lay in. I generally have high confidence in my sense of direction when walking in woods and felt there was no trouble in doing this. As I walked, I saw a large overturned tree with a mass of clay earth still stuck to its roots. As a geologist, I was naturally drawn to this and searched for a token rock to take. I found a small brown and yellow chert pebble which seemed to blush as I rotated it in my palm. I held it in my palm as I walked and let it roll up and down my hand in tune with my stride. Very soon I felt the pebble begin to get more excited, I followed my sense more and found more “evidence” that I thought I was going in the right way. I trusted myself completely and as I did so, the pebble began to dance. Eventually I found a large path and felt assured that if I followed it, I would arrive near the entrance soon. I walked and walked, the pebble bounding like a guide in my hand, I was also getting thirstier and weaker. I was looking forward to a time when I would see a definite landmark for me to orient myself, but none came. Every tree seemed new to me and after a while I was rather unsure of my location. I then came across a fence that barred me from going in the direction I thought I needed to. This jarred me severely because I had not known a fence existed in the wood. I was in a new area, not going where I needed to at all. I walked one way along the fence hoping to see something, then the other way. I was getting worried and confused now and began to talk to myself. This dehydrated me further yet I could not stop, my talking seemed to both calm me and excite me.

After a while I went backward into the forest to try and find another point further back in time to navigate correctly from. I found a path, followed it and found myself back at the fence. Now I was annoyed. I decided to follow the fence further in the other direction. I eventually arrived at a sign and a gate, saying “entrance to Cobham park”. This was a completely different entrance and I was way off course. There was a map, but there was no identifying point to say exactly where I was, nore did its orientation seem to match what I saw before me. I walked off a different path and found myself in a farm. At this point, my panic was rising. My voice stammered and shook and I could feel a wave spread through me, shaking my reality at the edges. I knew I had to keep it together and that if I was not careful I might even begin to run, just out of a need to cover more ground faster. I eventually turned around and went back to the sign. Reading it again, it was still nonsensical to me. I accepted I was lost and that the pebble had lead me astray. I decided to just walk straight back into the woods and hope I found something that I recognized. I walked and walked, finding various paths. At this point my mouth was gummed up and I had trouble speaking. I felt extremely alert, in overdrive. I was scanning furiously for anything and I knew I was now running on adrenaline. I could almost not even feel my body, I was being driven by adrenaline and willpower. I needed to find my way out. 

 Eventually, I turned a corner in a small deer path and saw a tree. The tree was odd, I could not tell why. Then it hit me, I knew it. It was a tree I had used to navigate by before. I was exultant to see this and instantly knew I was no longer lost. I began the walk home in earnest. I was not so frightened now, and my attempts at vocalization ceased. My adrenaline also went down and in response, my body suddenly felt extremely fatigued. I knew I still had a LONG way to walk, no water and that I was severely dehydrated. I summoned the fear back and with it, the adrenaline, I knew I would need it to power myself home. 

As I walked, I lost all sensation of my body. I was pure intent. I barely even saw my surroundings, just my consciousness moving like a comet through space. I moved, the world changed, eventually I was at the gate. I did not celebrate, I knew I did not have the luxury of speech or even of slowing down. I powered on down the long road to the village, through the village to my house. At this point I could feel myself almost falling over, my legs moved like a disembodied entity, with my body just balanced on top. I walked through the garden, unlocked the door, put my bag down and drank.

 After several large cups, I wordlessly walked back outside, now feeling my body about to give in and lay down on the deck. As I did so, I felt myself relax completely. Visuals spread out before me HARD. Complex patterns of currents, flow textures, doorways. I saw multi-pronged fronds converging on a single point, turning to crystal white at the centre, flowing down to form a river which itself transformed into a cobra. From the cobras mouth poured multitudes of snakes, each smaller than the last. I lay there for ages, existing within dreamscapes and liquid pouring texture. Eventually I got up. I was hungry and thirsty. My dog eyed my warily, he knew I was ON and that it was a strong one, I reassured him very gently and he wagged and bumped my leg in appreciation.

Feeling very hungry, I went and got a box of strawberries. As I took one out, I saw it was most unbelievably dark, rich blood red, firm and cool, perfect and jewel like in every way. I closed my eyes and caressed the nub of the strawberry with my lips and tongues, fellating it with gratuitous pleasure. I then bit the tip off. As I did, waves of pleasure spread across my vision and fine membranes of pink fruit and seed spiraled before me. The taste was wonderful, so cold and refreshing. I sat there slowly munching every fruit in the packet, not moving except to chew and pick up. Only once before have I felt such ecstasy in consumption.

 After a while I decided to go upstairs, and let the dog stop worrying about me. I sat at my desk and my field of attention was drawn to my central shrine. I had recently constructed a power system that linked a battery of fledging morning glory seedlings with resonant nodes to a small Nganga or Prenda which I had built and placed at the focal point of the shrine. I had fixed this up to a wish stone I found in a river and was playing with building this setup, accumulating vital energy from the plants within the Nganga, which was already resonant with the energy of several organic and inorganic components. As I fixed my gaze on the dragon guardian, a perception of ancient wisdom came to mind, my eyes where then drawn magnetically to the Nganga, which had its lid on. I begin to feel an irresistible urge to take the lid off, I sat and placed my hands either side of it, raising them in an arc above it, then slowly and carefully removed the cap. The Nganga stared at me, I acknowledged it placed my hands in a triangle around it, focusing and awakening it. I closed my eyes then and began to feel a pressure fill the air. I became aware of two glowing orbs or lights in slight oval shapes, moving back and forth on what I imagined were stems. I saw "serpents” as an impression. From this impression a real caduceus grow. This structure was not a classic caduceus but an amalgam of concentric cord, tubes that enfolded each other, danced upward and spiraled into a single knot/point. I felt this point spiral inward and saw that it was writhing slightly and was emerging from the mouth of the Nganga like a column of smoke. I felt myself drawn into the spiral and now saw a city. It was desolate and shattered, abandoned. Skyscrapers lay in wreckage, buildings hollow husks like ruined termite mounds. As I watched, the city began to shake apart, falling into the sea. I opened my eyes again, in some wonder. I was surprised to feel such a concrete and visible manifestation from the tool that had only been recently built and charged. I was happy and enthused and carefully set the lid back. I was not sure I wanted to play too long as I did not have a clear purpose in mind for its use and would rather it continued to collect energy which I now knew might be imbued with the essence of sight and knowledge, as well as growth and seemingly, death. 

 I decided to shower now and packed a large bowl. I had three or four hits from this, set it down and went through the bathroom. I was exhausted and was clumsy, doing things “off”, or in deviation from my normal way of showering. Eventually the water warmed up and I got in. I set it hot and slowly unerringly let myself move more and more under the stream. I let the water mainly hit my back, which was extremely sore at this point, until finally I stood upright beneath the water and felt it course like magma down my body. Eventually I sat down cross-legged to meditate, as is often my custom in the shower. As I felt the water crash around me and massage my back, I felt the elemental influence of it on my perception, becoming fluid and dreamlike. I saw a green luminous object, I cannot say what it was, I felt myself as a husk and images of my life passed before me. Things of note, my family, my path, my lover. I felt my options now, at the near end of my experience and what mattered to me. I knew It was a tipping point, in that at this point, so drained, there was a possibility of a relapse to base habits. I thought of my girlfriend, saw her face and body, cream white perfect skin, smooth and lustrous, full bodied and soft. I knew I loved her more than anything and that nothing else in my life meant anything without her I saw my habits and saw them for the affliction that they had become. I saw myself as a seedling growing, but with the husk of its seed case still attached to its leaves, hindering them. Holding it back, growing into its form and crippling it. I saw myself as a small, waiflike creature swallowed by the rotten, bloated corpse of another figure. I realized that nothing in my life mattered if I could not be with my love. Without her, all activities were devoid of meaning. My life had changed a lot in a short time and my motives too. I saw the rotting body on the floor and now standing free, his feet still inside, a thin sprout-like being, a waif/elf/dryad of some kind. I knew he was me. I was only just beginning to see the past and only starting to emerge from it. I knew this was my chance to be rid of it, grow truly and abandon all past weights. I knew I could become strong, that I could leave this behind truly, for her. For her I would do anything, I would ascend past these character flaws, forcing myself through the almost withdrawal like symptoms I have always suffered in the past. I could break the cycle, with/for her. I saw the demon in the mirror, felt his will to challenge this. I did not move, I knew that fighting him was how he won. I laughed and simply told him he was no longer needed. I had her. I could do anything for her. He was now powerless and would fade.

 I felt myself reborn, fresh. My pain now eased, I glowed and I realized I had passed a test of sorts.

 I went upstairs, sat down at my laptop, content to let the solo side of the trip come to an end here. I spoke then to my love.