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#like just leave me alone basically

kait-bait8 · 1 month

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Listen, okay, you don’t have to like Taylor Swift. You don’t have to enjoy her, you don’t have to respect her, you don’t have to listen to her music. You can roll your eyes when her songs come on and berate her about the environment all you want.

I just want to say that she gets it. As much of a billionaire superstar as she is, she gets it. Taylor Swift, in my opinion, writes songs about the full range of human emotions. That full range, whether you want to admit it or not, includes the most embarrassing emotions that come from being in a relationship and having it end.

And yeah, she’s straight. She’s a straight white woman writing about being in relationships with straight white men. She writes about the full range of human emotions that straight white woman feel. As a straight white woman who has only dated straight white men, I have to say I appreciate her.

What I’m trying to say is that I just got out of a long-term relationship that ended really badly. And I’m taking the breakup really badly. It’s been one of the worst times in my life and led to some of the most severe depression I’ve ever experienced. The Tortured Poets Department, as cringey as the title and marketing may be, has some songs that talk about what I’m going through in a way I haven’t heard from any other artist. She makes me feel like I’m not insane or alone.

#taylor swift #ttpd #her songs make me cry and help me #understand what I’m feeling #and I really really need that right now #so if my Spotify wrapped is all TTPD #like just leave me alone basically #I’m going through something

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ahsoka-in-a-hood · 9 months

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I'm always a bit surprised when I see hate for Shaak Ti based on her "Republic property" line like it's some kind of slam dunk statement of her views... have you guys seriously never had to speak someone else's language before? I'm not even trying to comment on her motives or beliefs here- but whether you read her as advocating for Fives or not, if she was 100% unambiguously advocating for Fives there that would still have been the right thing to say to the Kaminoans to get custody of him.

#this just seems like such an obvious thing to me #and i guess it bugs me because there's a lot of focus on people saying the right things and not enough on people doing things #you know in general. on planet earth.#and this is so clearly a place where virtue signalling on Shaak's part would have been 100% useless. The Kaminoans do not care.#she's lawyering. it's such a basic thing.#i don't really want to go into the thornyness of jedi-clone relations right now or what the council did and did not do for and to them.#i know i'm basically a pro jedi blog but I don't think it's perfectly rosy either but i'm tired #so i should probably leave well enough alone #but i felt like griping about this one specific thing #which is not evidence of anything except rules-lawyering #shaak ti

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 3 months

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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot #this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day #where she relayed an argument she had with her partner #who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes #and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see #and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence #when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it #(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post #again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so #also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive #being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire #it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed #she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it #because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them #whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner #in her adult life at least #and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted

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feelslikegold · 1 month

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while I understand what this person is saying….the difference in how their partners are treated makes no sense to me lmao. I have seen the other partners (some who might argue are just as if not more private than josh’s) be included in fic??? with tabs kept on all of them to the point where fans even notice *instagram comments* left from them???? it’s so funny that only josh gets this kind of treatment when every other relationship (hannah doesn’t count) is obsessed over by fans…..

we don’t know for sure what jenny was to danny and yet why do I still see people casually mentioning her and posting about what she’s up to when her socials were private too while she was with him????? she was clearly very private and yet……?? people obsessed over talking about them…..

respecting their privacies should be happening, but respect all of them? the same? 😭 josh’s partner is treated like a curse if he’s mentioned which is pretty respectful ig, but why are there tiktoks of other partners along to the sound of “she’s getting that dick” like it’s just SO so fucking weird to me that this fandom does not respect women no matter what and has also treated josh so oddly when he came out 😭

#if ron’s photos were taken from a private account and leaked then that’s absolutely one thing but I will never get over just how weird this #fandom acts towards josh the second they learned he has a male partner 💀#if you’re going to play the respect card (which is appreciated/should be the standard as fans) you need to respect ALL of their partners???#if you’re weird about only josh………it’s actually weird :’)#ok rant over #I just cannot handle hypocrisy 😭#god josh himself is going to post wedding photos one day to his instagram and fans are going to be so weird about them 😭😭😭#respect josh’s privacy always but don’t basically re-closet him after coming out??? I just do not understand it #(in the terms of him posting wedding photos…not rn because he doesn’t share much of his private life still)#but if he had an issue with ron’s photos they literally would not have been posted ?????? ron adds all fans as friends and his facebook is #very public……..he’d know what josh is and isn’t comfortable with 😭#also don’t twist my words bc clearly if you’re cropping josh OUT and only posting his partner that is so fucking weird 🧍🏻‍♀️like.#just be normal!!!! just be normal oh my god #you don’t even have to make 3738392938 tweets like this like literally just be normal and leave ALL of their partners alone 😭#except miss hannah because she might die from lack of attention 💔#also ignore me bc I have to run my mouth or *i’ll* die #also hate to be that bitch but *some* treatment towards josh really is homophobic lmfao but I will not get into that rn when I have already #yapped this much <3

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thranduel · 9 months

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i don’t understand why people hate gale.

“he’s annoying” or “he talks too much” or “he’s too clingy and got offended when i was in a relationship” (which was a BUG, it takes two seconds to do some research before jumping to conclusions) are the most stupid reasons to actually hate a character.

he’s the one that has the warmest personality when you first meet him as well, so i just don’t get it?? i’m not saying you’re not allowed to dislike him, and this doesn’t apply to everyone, but SOMETIMES it feels like people just hop on a “hate bandwagon” because i see so many comments (especially on tiktok… where most of the people only started playing because it’s “trendy” now) about him that are the exact same as each other and it’s like people have lost the ability to think for themselves and form their own opinions after actually playing the game properly and learning about the characters.

so many people even go on about how it’s a turn off that he “doesn’t shut up about his ex”… like maybe actually continue playing the story to understand why it’s a significant conversation to have and why it’s a huge part of his character arc, and stop being weirdly bitter/jealous/annoyed when the man is also a VICTIM that has been manipulated and abused in a relationship with a massive power imbalance.

#gale #gale dekarios #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #the amount of people that have the audacity to pick up an extremely intense fantasy roleplaying game with ->#extremely deep and complex well-written characters but then don’t even bother TRYING to get to know them and ->#instead just reduce them to things they’re not is SO unbelievably frustrating #like if you’re going to be lazy why pick up the game #if you lack basic media literacy and don’t understand a single thing about character analysis why are you even bothering ->#to talk about the characters #sorry if that’s harsh but it’s exhausting #and fyi i’m specifically talking about toxic people who constantly hate on characters without understanding them #people are obviously allowed to dislike characters but when you’re spreading things that aren’t even true it’s wild #like how can you talk when you DO NOT UNDERSTAND #don’t even get me started on the literal BUG #people are out here saying gale is an obsessed creep that won’t leave you alone and it wasn’t even supposed to happen #and it’s not even just people who hate characters it’s also ones who are weirdly obsessed but still lack reading comprehension #cough those astarion fans that sexualise him and treat him like an object #do you even know how much his character would despise hearing you talk about him that way #like come on now #my posts

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